1
00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,881
This kitty is Mittens.
This one is Fitzhugh.

2
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:10,968
And this little guy
in the cat condo is Jinkies.

3
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:16,473
Yeah. That's a lot of cats, Jo Lynn.

4
00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:17,766
Single, are you?

5
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,519
[PHONE RINGS]

6
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,729
Chandler Bing.

7
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,189
JOEY [OVER SPEAKER]:
Hey. You're answering your own phone?

8
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,524
Where's your crazy assistant?

9
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,404
What's up, Joe?

10
00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:32,740
Okay, what have we always wanted
to do together?

11
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:36,577
Braid each other's hair
and ride horseback on the beach?

12
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,163
No. No. No. When you get home
tomorrow night...

13
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,708
...you and I are gonna be
at the Wizards-Knicks game, courtside.

14
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,376
- Courtside? Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

15
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,380
Maybe Michael Jordan will dive for the ball
and break my jaw with his knee.

16
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,883
That is so cool. I'll let Monica know.

17
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,384
[PHONE RINGS]

18
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,055
- Hello?
- Joey just called.

19
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,266
He's got courtside Knicks tickets
for him and me tomorrow night.

20
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,853
Really? But tomorrow night's the only night
I get off from the restaurant.

21
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,606
If you go, we won't have a night together
for another week.

22
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:10,027
But honey, it's courtside.
The cheerleaders are gonna be right in f...

23
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:13,072
That's not the way to convince you.

24
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,407
Chandler, I don't wanna be
one of those wives that says:

25
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,494
"You can't go to the game.
You have to spend time with me."

26
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,038
So if you could just realize it
on your own...

27
00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:25,250
I know. You're right.
I wanna see you too.

28
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,587
I just gotta figure out a way to tell Joey.
He's really looking forward to this.

29
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,256
Tell him you haven't seen
your wife in a long time.

30
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:35,302
Tell him that having a long-distance
relationship is really difficult.

31
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:39,598
Tell him that what little time
we have together is precious.

32
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,434
Eh, yeah, I'll think of something.

33
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:30,858
Wow. Heh. Wow, you look, uh...

34
00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,568
[ROSS CLEARS THROAT]

35
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:36,947
I mean, it's just, uh... That dress, uh...

36
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:40,075
Well, I hope the ends
of these sentences are good.

37
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:43,453
Heh. Oh, they're good. It's just been
a while since I've seen you like this.

38
00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:45,622
You clean up good.

39
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,125
Oh, really? Well, thank you.

40
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,002
[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

41
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,965
Okay, stop. Stop looking at me like that.

42
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,051
- Last time that happened, that happened.
- Oh, right, right.

43
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,519
So are you excited about
your first night away from Emma?

44
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,189
Yeah, yeah. Phoebe and I
are gonna have so much fun.

45
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:13,275
- And thank you for watching the baby.
- Oh, it's fine.

46
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,569
Actually, I invited Mike over.

47
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:16,778
- Phoebe's Mike?
- Yeah.

48
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:19,072
- I didn't know you guys hung out.
- We don't...

49
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,200
...but I thought it'd be nice
to get to know him.

50
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:24,203
Maybe have a little dinner,
drinks, conversation.

51
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:27,122
Oh, that's so cute.
Ross and Mike's first date.

52
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,752
Is that gonna be awkward?
What are you guys gonna talk about?

53
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:34,588
I don't know. But you know,
we have a lot in common, you know?

54
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:38,467
Um, he plays piano.
I played keyboards in college.

55
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:43,805
Uh, he's been divorced.
I have some experience in that area.

56
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:45,933
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

57
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,185
RACHEL: Yeah?
- Hi.

58
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,354
- Hi.
- Hi.

59
00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:54,024
Ooh. Girls' night out indeed.

60
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,652
Okay, so I think Emma is probably
down for the night...

61
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,029
...but if you need anything...
- Rach, we'll be fine.

62
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,114
- You go have fun.
- Okay, you too.

63
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,659
- Thanks.
- And I hope you score.

64
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,411
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.

65
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,164
So, welcome.

66
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:13,126
- I got beer.
- I got bottled breast milk.

67
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,965
- Eh, why don't we start with the beer?
- Okay.

68
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:25,305
So, um, ahem,
Phoebe tells me you, uh, play piano.

69
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,556
Yeah.

70
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,850
You know, I used to, uh,
play keyboards in college.

71
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,727
Oh. Do you have one here?

72
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,939
No.

73
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,775
Okay. Heh.

74
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,283
MIKE:
Ah.

75
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:57,337
Um, uh, you know, I'm divorced.

76
00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:01,174
Uh, Phoebe... Phoebe says you're...
You've been divorced?

77
00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,552
Yeah, yeah.

78
00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:06,638
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I don't really like to talk about it.

79
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:13,562
That's okay.
We'll talk about something else.

80
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,865
- So you're a paleontologist, right?
- Yeah.

81
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,034
- My cousin's a paleontologist.
- Ah.

82
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:35,876
Well, he and I would probably have
a lot to talk about.

83
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:40,964
MONICA: Hi.
- Hey.

84
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,633
- Welcome home.
- Oh, well, look at you.

85
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,469
Yeah. What do you think?

86
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,888
Well, it looks great. It's just...

87
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:51,350
Well, I'm wearing the same thing
underneath, so...

88
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,685
You see what I mean? Heh.

89
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:54,936
[THUD]

90
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,648
JOEY:
Hey. How come your door's locked?

91
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,776
- Just a second.
- No, no, no.

92
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,611
- Joey can't know that I'm here.
- Why not?

93
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,197
I didn't know how to tell him
I couldn't go to the game...

94
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,575
...so I told him I had to stay in Tulsa.
- So you lied to him?

95
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:12,579
It's always better to lie than to have
the complicated discussion.

96
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,916
Except with you.

97
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,336
JOEY:
Hey, open the door. What's going on?

98
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,754
[KNOCKING]

99
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,051
- What are you...?
MONICA: Hi.

100
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,220
Why are you dressed like that?

101
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,638
[CHUCKLES]

102
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,557
Because, um, well, Chandler's
gonna be home in a couple of days...

103
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,561
...so I thought I would just, um, you know,
practice the art of seduction.

104
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,897
I thought I heard a man's voice before.

105
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,817
No, I was just doing Chandler's side
of the conversation.

106
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,319
You know, like, "Hi, how do I look?"

107
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,531
[MIMICS CHANDLER] "Really sexy.
Could I be any more turned on?"

108
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,782
You know.

109
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,076
Okay. Wait a minute.

110
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,203
Why are there two glasses
of wine out?

111
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,747
Because one of them is for you.

112
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,130
Cheers. Okay, bye-bye.

113
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:09,594
You know, it's funny. I've been, uh,
practicing the art of seduction myself.

114
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,433
- You might wanna keep practicing.
- Yeah.

115
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,309
[PHONE RINGING]

116
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:19,354
- It's Joey.
- What?

117
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,524
- Hey, Joe.
- Dude, come home.

118
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,779
- What? Why?
- Come home.

119
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,823
Look, I can't. What's going on?

120
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:33,827
I don't know how to tell you this,
but, uh, I think Monica's cheating on you.

121
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,955
I told you you shouldn't have married
someone so much hotter than you.

122
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,502
All right, if you can't deal with this,
then I'm gonna.

123
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,046
- No.
- I just heard him.

124
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,967
Can you hear him now?

125
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,513
No. All right, I'm going in.

126
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,307
- No, wait.
- I heard him again.

127
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,062
All right, look, just stay there.
I'm coming home.

128
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,772
Okay, I'll see you when you get here.

129
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,192
I'm gonna wait out in the hall
in case the dude comes out.

130
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,862
- Is that really necessary?
- Absolutely. You'd do it for me.

131
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:13,658
Not that you ever have to, because
I know how to keep my women satisfied.

132
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:19,581
[BOTTLE TOOTING]

133
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,631
Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?

134
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:33,428
I mean, they said 30 minutes or less.
Well, how long has it been?

135
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,973
Eleven minutes.

136
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,940
And now 12.

137
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:52,781
- So you like the beer?
- I do. I do.

138
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:56,701
- Although, it's actually a lager.
- Huh.

139
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,873
What's the difference
between beer and lager?

140
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,626
I don't know.

141
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,546
We could look it up.

142
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:12,133
Things are about to get wild.

143
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,725
Oh, God, remember the girls' nights
we used to have...

144
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,852
...sitting around talking
about you and Ross?

145
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,605
Oh, God. It seems like forever ago.

146
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:26,815
I know.

147
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:30,610
Ah. So, what's going on
with you and Ross?

148
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:36,449
Well, um, I don't know.
I mean, for a long time, nothing.

149
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:40,412
But, you know, actually,
right before you picked me up...

150
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,123
...Ross and I had a, uh, little thing.

151
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:46,293
Oh, my God. I love things.
What happened?

152
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:49,379
Well, um, first he told me
he liked how I looked.

153
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:53,842
- Uh-huh.
- And, uh, then we had a little, um...

154
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,220
...eye contact.

155
00:09:58,639 --> 00:09:59,848
- Eye contact?
- Mm-hm.

156
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,808
I hope you were using protection.

157
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:09,482
Excuse me, um, these are from
the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.

158
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,486
Should we send them something back?
Ooh, let's send them mashed potatoes.

159
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,030
No, wait. Don't do that.

160
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,198
That's gonna make them think
they can come over.

161
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,700
So, what if they do?

162
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:24,331
We're not here to meet guys. You have
a boyfriend. I have a baby and a Ross.

163
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:29,085
Yeah, but nothing has to happen.
We're just having fun.

164
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:33,298
You know, not everything
has to go as far as eye contact.

165
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,969
Chandler, you have to tell Joey
that you're not in Tulsa.

166
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,889
Don't you think it's better for him
to think you're cheating on me...

167
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,475
...than for him to think
I'm cheating on him?

168
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,894
I heard it.

169
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,855
I don't want him to think
that I'm having an affair.

170
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,317
All right, I've got a plan.
I'll go down the fire escape...

171
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:55,695
Because all good plans start with,
"I'll go down the fire escape."

172
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,280
Hear me out, woman.

173
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,159
I'll go down the fire escape, then I'll wait.

174
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,870
Then when I come up the stairs
it'll be like I just got back.

175
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:07,040
Then Joey and I will come in
and see that there's no guy in here.

176
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:10,669
Aren't you afraid that Joey's
gonna figure all this out?

177
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,465
I heard it.

178
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,350
- I'm just gonna wait.
- The scary pigeon's back?

179
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,644
It's huge.

180
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,054
Oh, my God. I can't believe
you live in that building.

181
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,889
My grandmother lives in that building.

182
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,475
Ida Green?
No sense of personal space...

183
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,145
...kind of smells like chicken,
looks like a potato.

184
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:13,064
- "Spuds" is your grandmother?
- That's my bubby.

185
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,528
So we're on our way
to a couple of parties.

186
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:22,782
Um, maybe we can get your numbers
and call if we find something fun?

187
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,828
Yeah. I'm sorry, we weren't really
looking for anything to happen...

188
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,539
...with you guys. I have a boyfriend.

189
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,875
- All right.
- It's no big deal.

190
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:38,381
So she has a boyfriend.
What is your situation?

191
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:42,343
Oh, well, it's complicated.
I don't actually have a boyfriend, but, uh...

192
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:45,054
Then can I have your number?

193
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,390
I'm sorry, no.

194
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:48,933
Okay.

195
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,227
Oh, sure.

196
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,856
Oh, my God, you're giving
your real number.

197
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,528
Okay, thanks.
I'll give you a call later tonight.

198
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,614
- Great.
- Bye.

199
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,032
Bye.

200
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,702
Wow. So that's great.

201
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,581
You, Bill, Ross and Emma
are gonna be so happy together.

202
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,166
What were you thinking?

203
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:16,795
I don't know. He was cute and he liked me.
It was an impulse.

204
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,214
But what about Ross?
What about your moment?

205
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,424
- Don't you wanna talk to Ross about it?
- No.

206
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,719
No, because I know exactly
how the conversation's gonna go.

207
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,931
"Hey, Ross, you know,
I think we had a moment before."

208
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,392
[MIMICS ROSS]
"Yeah. Ahem. Me too."

209
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,938
[IN NORMAL VOICE] "Well, but I'm not sure
I really want to do anything about it."

210
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,732
[MIMICS ROSS]
"Yeah. Ahem. Me neither."

211
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,318
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
"Should we just live together...

212
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,445
...and not tell each other
how we're feeling?"

213
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,322
[MIMICS ROSS]
"Yeah, that works for me."

214
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,407
[CLEARS THROAT]

215
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,202
Yeah, I see what you mean.

216
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,664
By the way, nice Ross imitation.

217
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,374
But your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.

218
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,042
- What? Hey.
- Better.

219
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,674
The point is maybe I should just stop
waiting around for moments with Ross.

220
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,052
You know?
I should just move on with my life.

221
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,138
So really, you're moving on from Ross?

222
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,641
I don't know.
Do I have to decide right now?

223
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,769
You kind of just did.
That guy is gonna call you tonight.

224
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,939
Ross is gonna pick up the phone,
and that's a pretty clear message.

225
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,858
Oh, my God, Ross.

226
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,151
Ross is gonna pick up the phone.

227
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:25,363
Oh, I have to get my number back.
Oh, my God, he's gone.

228
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,491
[MIMICS RACHEL] "Oh, I have to get
my number back. Oh, my God. He's gone."

229
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,909
Dead on.

230
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,927
- You know, I'm gonna take off.
- So soon?

231
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,470
- Yeah.
- Okay.

232
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:52,181
Well, thanks, uh... Thanks for the beer.

233
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:56,019
- You mean lager?
- Ah, yeah. Good times.

234
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,070
[PHONE RINGING]

235
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,826
- Hello?
- Hey, Mike, it's me.

236
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,912
Listen, is, um... Is Ross near you?

237
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,663
Uh, no, I just left.

238
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,624
Well, you have to go back in.

239
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:23,046
What? Go back?
To the land where time stands still?

240
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,381
I'm so sorry, honey, but...

241
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,550
Okay, Rachel gave this guy
her number...

242
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,053
...and, um, she doesn't want Ross
to answer the phone.

243
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,221
So you have to intercept all his calls.

244
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:33,932
I can't do that.

245
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:37,143
- He says he can't do that.
- Oh, give me the phone.

246
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,980
Hi, Mike. Hi, listen, I know that this
is a lot to ask, but you know what?

247
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:46,527
If you do this,
Phoebe will do anything you want.

248
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:50,907
- Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
- All right. Thank you. Hello?

249
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:54,953
Hi, I'm sorry about her. But actually,
she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.

250
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,539
All right, I'll do it.

251
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:03,419
But really, how much dirtier can it get?

252
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,756
Oh, Mike.

253
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,467
Bye.

254
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,636
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

255
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,807
Hey, buddy.

256
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,394
Uh, hi.

257
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:23,106
- Um, can I come back in?
- Why?

258
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:30,154
Well, I was just thinking about
how much more we have to talk about.

259
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,032
But you left.

260
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,831
Wow, that didn't take long.

261
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,001
I thought you said Tulsa
was like a three-hour flight?

262
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:48,172
Well, you're forgetting
about the time difference.

263
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,849
JOEY:
Yeah.

264
00:16:58,642 --> 00:16:59,684
[MONICA GASPS]

265
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,893
Chandler, you're home.

266
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:05,523
That's right. Your husband's home.
So now the sex can stop.

267
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:11,988
What are you saying?

268
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,032
Joey said you're in here
with another man.

269
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:17,994
There's no man in here.
How dare you accuse me of that.

270
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:21,414
All right. All right.

271
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:26,169
Then maybe you won't mind if me
and my friend take a look around, huh?

272
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,338
[BANGING]

273
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:30,548
What's he doing?

274
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,051
I arranged some pillows on the bed
to look like a guy.

275
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:40,308
Bedroom's clear. Although
you might need some new pillows.

276
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,103
All right, well, I'll check the guest room.

277
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,106
[SNIFFING]

278
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,988
Why do I smell men's cologne?

279
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,367
I think that's you.

280
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:04,540
Oh, yeah. I rubbed a magazine
on myself earlier.

281
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,752
There's nobody here, Joe.

282
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,587
I guess not.

283
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:14,383
I can't believe you thought I was cheating.
You owe me an apology.

284
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,512
- You're right, Monica. I'm so sorry.
- It's an honest mistake.

285
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,806
It could happen to anybody.
All right, see you.

286
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:22,391
JOEY:
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

287
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:26,729
If you just got back from Tulsa,
how did your suitcase beat you here?

288
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,778
I climbed down the fire escape,
and you can't put that in the closet?

289
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,660
So with the exception
of the fermentation process...

290
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:44,247
...beer and ale
are basically the same thing.

291
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,458
Fascinating, isn't it?

292
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:51,462
Maybe you should look up "fascinating."

293
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:52,839
[PHONE RINGING]

294
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,674
I'll get it.

295
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:03,766
Hello? Ross' place. Mike speaking.

296
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,061
It's for you.

297
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,318
I don't understand
what just happened here.

298
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,406
What's going on?

299
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,699
I'm sorry.

300
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:23,995
I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted
to spend the night with Monica...

301
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,999
...and I didn't know...
I didn't think you'd understand.

302
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:32,879
You think I'm too dumb to understand
a husband needs to be with his wife? Huh?

303
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:36,174
You think I'm, like, duh.

304
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,304
- Joey?
- Yeah.

305
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,849
I don't know what to say.
We shouldn't have lied to you.

306
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,311
Yeah, I feel so bad. Is there anything
I can do to make it up to you?

307
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:54,150
Yeah, you could go to the game with me.
Even though you said you couldn't.

308
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:58,779
But then you lied to me and tricked me
and gave me a bump on the head.

309
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,867
I'm sorry, that's the one thing I can't do.
I promised I'd be with Monica.

310
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,785
All right.

311
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,330
- You can go.
- What?

312
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:10,333
You should go to the game.
It's okay. I want you to.

313
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,461
- Really? You gonna be okay?
- Yeah, I'll be fine.

314
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:17,465
You know, maybe I'll stay here
and practice the art of seduction.

315
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:22,261
- You're gonna put sweats on and clean.
- It's gonna be so hot.

316
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:23,888
- Bye.
- Bye.

317
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,223
Thanks.

318
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,558
Here's your ticket.

319
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,936
Thanks. Hey, listen...

320
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:32,730
...I'm never gonna lie to you again, okay?

321
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,192
And I want you to know
that nobody thinks you're stupid.

322
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,069
Thanks, man.

323
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,700
- Where you going?
- Game's tomorrow night, Joe.

324
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:51,332
- Hi.
- Hi.

325
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,335
MIKE:
Oh, God. So glad you're back.

326
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,212
[ALL CHUCKLING]

327
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,714
So, what did you guys do?

328
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,717
Oh, you know, we just drank some beer.

329
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:04,595
Mike played with the boundaries
of normal social conduct.

330
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:05,846
[MIKE CHUCKLES]

331
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,683
It's true, I did.

332
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:10,601
- Well, goodbye.
- Okay.

333
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,396
- Bye. That was fun, Pheebs.
- I know. It was fun.

334
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,356
See you, guys.

335
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,733
Rachel, lock the door.
Lock the door, seriously.

336
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:22,071
Oh, shoot, I forgot to pay Phoebe
for the drinks.

337
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,493
Wait, wait. Wait, sorry.
Did he call? Did that guy call?

338
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,161
No, just his mom.

339
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:30,579
Oh. Around 8:30?

340
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,373
- Yeah.
- Then again at 9:00?

341
00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:34,792
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

342
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,419
[PHONE RINGING]

343
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,008
Hello?

344
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:46,012
Uh, no, she's not here right now.
Can I take a message?

345
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:49,432
Bill from the bar?

346
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:56,022
Okay, Bill from the bar,
I'll make sure she gets your number.

347
00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:03,696
[DOOR OPENS]

348
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:05,781
Ah.

349
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,910
So, uh... So how was it?

350
00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:12,204
Did you guys...?
You guys have a good time?

351
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:16,876
We had so much fun.
It felt so good to be out.

352
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:21,297
Uh, Rach?

353
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:23,215
Yeah?

354
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,511
Never mind.

355
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:36,896
- Hey, you guys.
PHOEBE: Hey.

356
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,481
MIKE:
Hey.

357
00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:42,193
I'll be right back.
I gotta go to the bathroom.

358
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,168
Stout. That's a kind of beer.

359
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,053
[English - US - SDH]