All right, let's play one more time, okay?
And remember, if I win, you do not move to Paris.
Okay. I can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on.
All right, Joe, you remember the rules. Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.
Just flip.
- Tails! - Damn it!
So we thought we'd throw you a little going-away party around 7.
Oh, that sounds good.
Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow. Shouldn't you be packing?
- It's all done. - Oh, yeah, right.
And after I took a shower this morning, I just threw my towel on the floor.
- Oh, God, it hurts to even joke about it. RACHEL: I know.
Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom.
This is Emma's Paris stuff. These are the boxes that I'm having shipped...
...and that's the sandwich I made for the plane.
- Okay, you've done some good work. RACHEL: Yeah.
What about your carry-ons?
Oh, well, everything that I need is in here...
...and my travel documents are on the counter...
...organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Oh, my God. I have nothing left to teach you.
- Where's your passport? - It should be next to my plane ticket.
- Well, it's not. RACHEL: What? Maybe I put it in here?
Oh! Oh, it's not in there!
Oh, no, I must have packed it in one of these boxes!
- Here, let me help you. - Shoot.
I can't believe I did this.
At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?
Oh, wow, can you believe you're only three weeks away?
I know.
- You don't mind me touching your belly? - I don't mind you touching my belly...
...but your hand's kind of blocking the part where the baby's gonna come out.
- Hey! ERICA: Hey.
Hi, Erica. Welcome back to town. Wow, look how big you've gotten.
That's because I'm pregnant.
- Right. No, I understand. - Oh, okay.
I'm just always afraid that people think I'm just fat with big breasts.
No, no, I knew.
- Okay, well, stop staring at them. - She brought them up.
I didn't realize you were coming back so soon.
In a couple weeks I won't be able to travel.
I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.
- Why isn't she staying with you guys? - Because we're moving in a couple days.
Plus, hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks.
Erica, those things aren't free.
In fact, they have one of the highest markups of any consumer product--
Ross, she's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
ERICA: I'll be right back.
Oh, man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
I know. I know.
You know, you could take it if you want. The lease is still in Nana's name.
No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad.
Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Yeah, it takes two incomes.
Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
Oh, no, he doesn't have time for that.
You can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Hmm. Packing. Sexy cheerleader comedy.
Hmm. Helpful brother. Creepy loner at teen movie.
Creep)'
- What are you guys doing? - Try it. I can't feel a thing.
Are you kidding?
- This is packing? - We're taking a break.
From?
Jumping on the bed.
All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours, and there's a lot to do.
Ross, you've got Geller blood. You're in charge of these yahoos.
- You got it. MONICA: All right.
ROSS: She's right. We gotta get serious.
Let's put Styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
No, guys, she's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet.
Joey, you pack them, and Ross, you repack whatever Joey packs.
You guys hear a ringing?
- What the hell is this? - Hey, handcuffs. And fur-lined. Nice.
I didn't know you guys had it in you.
Chandler, you don't have a sister, so you can't understand...
...how much this bums me out.
I didn't know Monica had these.
Maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard.
Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky.
I once did a naked dance for her with scarves.
Bumming hard, guys. Bumming hard.
[KNOCKING ON DQOR]
- Hey. - Hey. Where's Mike?
PHOEBE: Oh, he has a gig.
It's kind of like being married to a rock star, you know?
My husband has a gig.
Yeah? Where is it?
Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
Rock on!
Wow, this is quite a spread. What is all this stuff?
Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food...
...that I don't want to move to the new house with me.
So enjoy. Smoked oyster casserole with a breakfast-cereal crust.
Kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
- Hey. CHANDLER: Hey.
ROSS: Where's Rach? - She's putting Emma down.
She'll be over in a second. It just hit her that she's leaving.
She's kind of emotional, no one say anything to set her off, okay?
PHOEBE: Yeah.
ALL: Hey, Rach. Hey.
There she is.
Hi, you guys.
What did I just say?
Oh, no, no, no, it's okay. It's okay. I'm gonna be fine.
MONICA: Come, I'll make you a drink. - Okay.
Oh, man, I can't believe she's actually leaving.
How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
I know, she's been such a big part of my life.
It feels like when Melrose Place got canceled.
I mean...
Ah, forget it, I miss Melrose Place.
- I had a chance to stop her too. - Yeah?
Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? You know?
Heads, she wins. Tails, I lose.
Wait a minute.
- Yes, Joe? - I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning.
So you doing okay?
Well, I've been better. You guys are gonna come visit, right?
Yes. You know, in six months, the statute of limitations runs out...
...and I can travel internationally again.
- I'm gonna miss you so much. - I know.
You know what? Um, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say...
...to each of you. And I was gonna save it till the end of the night, but come here.
Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
If I had to guess, I'd say...
...Rachel's putting on the bubble wrap, and Phoebe's doing the punching.
Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
- Okay, well, before you do... - Uh-huh.
I know we weren't supposed to get you presents...
-...but I do have something for you. - Oh! Oh!
Oh.
- What is it? - Well, it's a cotton swab...
...with a bit of my saliva on it...
...so that if they perfect the cloning process while you're over there...
...you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs.
I'm gonna throw this away...
...but thank you so much for the gesture.
Chandler?
Um, I was just in our bedroom, and I found these on my pillow.
Oh, yes, I decided to leave those out for you in case Richard stops by...
...and you want to engage in a little light bondage and mustache play.
What are you talking about? These aren't mine.
Oh, yeah, right!
Good luck getting another scarf dance from me.
That would be a terrible punishment.
But I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
Really? Then what are they doing in our guest room?
Rachel used to live in that room.
Rachel. With handcuffs.
Interesting.
Joey's bare ass.
Well played.
[SNIFFLING]
- I love you, Phoebe. PHOEBE: I love you too.
Please...
Please don't--
Don't turn into, you know, a French bitch.
I won't.
All right. Well, if I'm gonna do this, I better keep going.
PHOEBE: Okay. - Okay.
- Monica? - Yeah?
RACHEL: Will you come with me? - Sure.
- Are you wearing waterproof mascara? - No.
Oh, you're so screwed.
H93'-
What was that all about?
She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Are you kidding? Oh, my God.
Yeah, I know. It's gonna be even worse for you. God.
Well, just get ready to do some serious crying.
Man, I'm not gonna be able to handle this.
Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year.
And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Mon. Okay.
I better just say what it is I'm gonna say.
None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last 10 years...
...would have happened if it wasn't for you.
No one has been more like a sister to me.
I know what you mean.
You're like a sister to me too.
RACHEL: I don't know what I'm going to do without you.
[BOTH CRYING]
You're the greatest friend I ever had.
--Seeing you every day.
What?
[STAMMERING]
--See you every day!
That is so sweet!
Oh, no, she took down Monica.
And I'm the crier in the family.
Oh, God, I could be next.
Maybe she won't talk to me if it looks like we're in conversation.
JOEY: Okay. - That thing you said about the thing...
...it really made me think about that other thing.
- Rash? - Oh, it's okay, Chandler's talking to her.
I really made you think about that thing, huh?
Uh, Rach, I think I have something that belongs to you.
Oh, I'm sure gonna miss pretending to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get.
No, no, they're really yours. We found them in your old room.
Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with--
Don't say Richard.
Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room.
- Pheebs! - Yeah!
I think these are yours.
These are not mine. Look how flimsy they are. Come on.
My God, you try to hang a guy from a water pipe with these...
...they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
- Can I talk to you alone for a minute? - Sure.
You don't really handcuff guys to water pipes do you?
Where do you think Mike really is?
Oh, honey...
Let me just saying something because once we get into this...
...I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke.
I just want to say that I-- I love you.
And I'm gonna miss you.
And I'm so sad that you're leaving.
Oh, you know what?
Let's not say anything else.
I love you.
CHANDLER: Not so tight.
[IMITATES FARTING]
- I'm sorry, give me one more chance. - Okay.
CHANDLER: Okay.
[IMITATES FARTING]
- Oh! - I'm sorry. Just go. Just go.
I can't. I can't.
- So I guess you're next. You ready? - I don't think so.
Oh, you're definitely not. I haven't cried like that in years.
You cried yesterday at the 6:00 news.
That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic.
God, I can't believe she saved me for last.
Why are they taking so long?
PHOEBE: I don't know.
But, God, Joey seems to be handling it surprisingly well.
ALL: No!
Okay, here we go.
[SIGHS]
- Well... - Yeah.
I think I'm gonna take off.
Huh?
Oh, you guys, this was an amazing night. Thank you so much.
I love you.
Good night.
What?
I don't get a goodbye?
Lucky bastard.
Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me!
Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history, it could be...
-...you know, implicit. - Well, it needs to be "plicit."
All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's gotta be an explanation.
- Did you do anything to make her mad? - No, I don't think so.
You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk.
- It was pretty intense. - Yeah, mine too.
- Mine was a humdinger. - Okay!
I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug?
Not from you!
Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
And say what? You owe me a goodbye?
- I mean, he's got more pride than that. - The hell I do!
- I don't get a goodbye? - What?
Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What do I gotta do to get a goodbye?
Huh? Be best friends with you? Go out with you?
Have a baby with you?
Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute! I did all those things!
- Ross-- - Or maybe I'm just not giving you...
...enough credit. Uh, I mean, it is difficult to say goodbye to five people.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, g--
It's physically impossible!
You know what? After all we've been through...
...I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us.
Have a good time in Paris.
- I hope Ross isn't too upset. - I'm sure he's not more bummed out...
-...than I am. - Tell me about it.
Well, you can't say we don't know how to throw a party.
I think I'm gonna head out.
- Uh, where do you think you're going? - I thought I was going home to bed...
...but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
We're moving in a couple days and we got a lot of packing to do.
- It'd be great if you guys could pitch in. - Joey and I can finish up the guest room.
Yeah, good idea.
Oh, no. You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
You couldn't be cool.
MONICA: We're gonna start in the kitchen.
Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked 10 to a box.
The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
- Yeah. - Good. I need you to be careful...
...and efficient. And remember, if I'm harsh with you...
...it is only because you're doing it wrong.
Hey, Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are.
- You did? How? - Well, I was cleaning out the closet...
...and I found some pictures of them...
-...being used. - Oh, my God, let me see.
[GASPS]
Who's that dirty old lady?
Monica's grandmother.
Oh, my God. Nana liked it rough!
- Hi. - Hey.
Here, have a seat. Yeah.
- How was your night? - Oh, it was okay.
I went to a movie with my cousin then out for dinner.
We went to this place that had--
[GROANING]
Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
- Erica, are you okay? - Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much.
I keep getting these stomachaches. They come and go every few minutes.
- Oh, my God. - Relax, we'll just get her some antacids.
She doesn't have a stomachache! She's in labor!
- Oh, my God! - Yeah, you gotta get to the hospital!
Chandler, get the coats! Erica, let's go! Phoebe and Joey, keep packing!
Oh, my God, we're gonna have a baby.
We're gonna have a baby!
Oh, my God, we're gonna have a baby!
Oh, God, I've gotta sit down! I've gotta sit down!
- Honey, it's gonna be okay. - You can do this. Just breathe.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, I feel a little better.
Oh! Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure. Oh, honey, let's go. - Okay.
CHANDLER: Come, let's go. - Bye!
- We're having a baby! JOEY: Good luck!
- Chandler, wait, wait, wait! - What?
If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
You think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care?
That's what it seemed like.
I cannot believe that after 10 years you do not know one thing about me!
- Then why didn't you say something? - Because it is too damn hard, Ross!
I can't even begin to explain to you how much I am gonna miss you.
When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go.
Okay? So if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you...
...because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong.
It's because you mean more to me.
So there, all right? There's your goodbye!
- Rash! - What?
- You keep-- You can't-- - What?
- A little more. PHOEBE: Okay.
- A little more. A little more. - All right.
Little more.
- All right. All right, let's do this. - All right, ready?
Yep. Now give me your best shot.
All right. Here goes.
Doesn't work.
[English - US - SDH]