1
00:00:03,796 --> 00:00:05,589
Thank you guys for having us over.

2
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:09,260
- Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
- I don't know why we don't hang out...

3
00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,596
-...with married couples more often.
- Because every time we do...

4
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,975
...you make jokes about swinging
and scare them away.

5
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:21,022
You mean that Portuguese couple?
Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.

6
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:25,735
Hey, you guys, I have great news.

7
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:30,948
- Ross, we're kind of in the middle of dinner.
- Oh, well, I already ate, but sure.

8
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:37,288
- Guess what happened at work today.
- A dinosaur died a million years ago?

9
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:41,459
Uh, try 65 million years ago.
And then try: Shh!

10
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,673
My tenure review board met today,
and I hear it's looking really good.

11
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,883
PHOEBE: Wow.
- Yeah.

12
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,677
Do you have any idea what this
means in academic circles?

13
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,888
I am gonna get laid.

14
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,142
- Hi, you guys.
CHANDLER: Hey.

15
00:00:58,309 --> 00:00:59,643
Oh, Italian.

16
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,354
No one--
No one wanted seconds, right?

17
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,898
No, I'm good.

18
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,568
Guys, you're never gonna believe it.
This headhunter called me.

19
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:11,739
I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci.
Gucci wants me.

20
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,824
- I'm up for tenure.
- Congratulations.

21
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,911
- You too. What are the odds?
- Oh...

22
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,662
Guess what.

23
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,792
I finally got that seed out of my teeth.

24
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,212
I don't know who I'm happiest for.

25
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,090
I do. He's been working on that all day.

26
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:25,271
Hey, Mon, was it weird
changing your name to Geller Bing?

27
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:29,191
No. No, it felt nice to acknowledge this.

28
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,861
- Where'd you go to do it?
- Um, the--

29
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,905
The Ministry of Names...

30
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,741
...Bureau.

31
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,077
You never did it.

32
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,538
I'm sorry. It's just the idea of--

33
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,457
Of being an official Bing.

34
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,587
Hey, I will have you know that--

35
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:53,841
Ah, who am I kidding? Let's call the kid
Geller and let Bing die with me.

36
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,886
- Here you go.
- Thanks.

37
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,054
Honey, would you want me
to take your name?

38
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:02,474
Oh, it's up to you. It's your name.
You've gotta live with it.

39
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,936
- Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan.
- Mrs. Hannigan?

40
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,439
What, can't you see I'm
in the middle of something?

41
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,692
I like it.

42
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,612
- Hey, guys.
CHANDLER: Hey, Joe.

43
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,740
We got things to check out
at the new house. You want to come?

44
00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:21,202
- No, thank you.
- You're not happy about us moving...

45
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,787
...but you're the only one
who hasn't seen the house.

46
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,623
You'll see how close it is to the city.

47
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,626
No, it's not close.
You said it was in escrow.

48
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,003
I couldn't even find that on the map.

49
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:38,010
Joey, please come.
It would mean so much to us.

50
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,973
You know what? You are my friends.
I want to be supportive.

51
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,392
- I will come with you. Shotgun.
- Damn it.

52
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,479
See you guys later.
We'll pick you up at 11.

53
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,689
- So glad you're coming.
- All right.

54
00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:55,194
- Good for you. That was really mature.
- What? The only reason I'm going...

55
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:58,656
...to their stupid new house is to
point out everything wrong with it...

56
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,533
...so they don't move.
I'm gonna make them stay here.

57
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,370
You're a strange kind of grown-up.

58
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:09,291
Joey, you can't make someone do
something they don't want to do.

59
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,962
Believe me. There's something I've been
trying to get Mike to do in bed, and--

60
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:18,467
- Whoa. Can we not talk about that now?
- All right. Prude.

61
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,222
Look, Monica and Chandler
really love this house.

62
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,683
You are not gonna talk them
into staying here.

63
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,560
Hey, I can convince people
to do anything, you know?

64
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,897
I bet I could even get Mike
to do that thing. What is it'?

65
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,695
I am not gonna help you do that!

66
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,905
Oh, my God.

67
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:50,332
Hi. Um, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell,
with Gucci.

68
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,585
The reservation's probably under Gucci.

69
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,839
It's spelled like "gucky,"
which can be confusing.

70
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:01,635
Mr. Campbell's not here yet.
Let me show you to his table.

71
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:08,434
Oh, my God. That's my boss.
You have to seat us somewhere else.

72
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,811
I'm sorry, that's always
Mr. Campbell's table.

73
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:15,024
But my boss cannot see me.
I'm interviewing for another job.

74
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:18,694
- I know. With Gucky.
- Shh!

75
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,782
- Rachel?
- I'm on a date.

76
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,327
That's great.

77
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:30,039
Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough.
Single mom. Career.

78
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,833
You gotta get out there.

79
00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:36,587
- Well, you've got a good energy.
- Oh.

80
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,088
- Rachel?
- Yes, hi.

81
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,715
- James Campbell.
- Hi.

82
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,425
- Excuse us.
- Please.

83
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,926
Okay.

84
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,136
Oh.

85
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,097
He's cute.

86
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,099
So...

87
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,685
...your resume is quite impressive.

88
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:55,939
My, ha, ha... My résumé?

89
00:05:56,106 --> 00:06:01,487
I wouldn't-- I wouldn't call
my online dating profile a résumé.

90
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,032
Dating profile? No, I'm--
I'm talking about the work résumé.

91
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,451
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

92
00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:12,456
Whatever happened to just singing
for no reason?

93
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,377
Maybe people found it weird.

94
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,963
- Maybe.
CAMPBELL: 80...

95
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:23,467
- Why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?
- What?

96
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,302
- I don't.
- You don't?

97
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,346
No, I love-- I love it there.

98
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,682
Well, if you don't want to leave,
why are we having this lunch?

99
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,185
[WHISPERING]
That is my boss.

100
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,436
What?

101
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,563
[WHISPERING]
That is my boss.

102
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,482
That's Hugo Boss?

103
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:50,035
God, this place is so depressing.
If I had to work here, I'd kill myself.

104
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,582
But you obviously haven't.

105
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,837
- How can I help you?
- I need to change my name, please.

106
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:03,674
See, I need to change it
because I'm hiding from the law.

107
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,719
You're fun.

108
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,973
- You need to fill out this form.
- Okay. Well, just so I know--

109
00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:13,475
I don't know how it works.
My name is Buffay...

110
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,436
...and my husband's name is Hannigan.

111
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,689
So is it supposed to be
"Buffay-Hannigan" or "Hannigan-Buffay"?

112
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:21,442
- It can be anything you want.
- Well, not anything.

113
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,153
Yeah. Anything.

114
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,031
Oh, this could take a while.

115
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,910
- Get out of my line.
- Okay.

116
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,749
- Hey.
MONICA: Hey, Pheebs.

117
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,586
Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.

118
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:44,256
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan.
- Wrong again.

119
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,218
Apparently,
you can change it to anything.

120
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,430
So I thought, "All right, here's an
opportunity to be creative."

121
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,350
So meet Princess Consuela
Bananahammock.

122
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,193
That's what we were
gonna name the baby.

123
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,324
- Phoebe.
- Ah, Princess Consuela.

124
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,202
- You changed your name to that?
- Uh-huh.

125
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,580
Okay, so from now on, we have to call
you Princess Consuela?

126
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,917
No, I'm gonna have my friends
call me Valerie.

127
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,382
- Hey, how did the interview go?
- Ugh. Not good.

128
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:31,637
I always feel that way after an interview
I'll bet it went better than you think.

129
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:36,683
Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci
and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.

130
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,144
That is a bad interview.

131
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,772
What are you talking about?
How did this happen?

132
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:45,901
My boss was at the same restaurant
where I was having my interview...

133
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,528
...and he heard everything.

134
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,532
Later, he calls me into his office
and tells me he'll have to let me go...

135
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,325
...because I'm not a team player.

136
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,494
And I said, "Wait a minute. Yes, I am."

137
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,121
And then I had to sit there
for 45 minutes...

138
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:02,876
...while he proved that
that, in fact, was true.

139
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,797
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
- God.

140
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,674
H93'-

141
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,969
What--? What's this?

142
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:16,181
Why, it's a bottle of champagne.
Why is this here?

143
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,100
- Ross.
- I guess it's here...

144
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,851
...because I got tenure!

145
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,937
ALL: Congratulations.
- Wow.

146
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:25,357
This is the single greatest day
of my professional career.

147
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,693
- Gunther. Six glasses.
- Six?

148
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:31,405
- You want me to join you?
- I thought Joey was here. Five is good.

149
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,078
Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey
in my coffee tomorrow.

150
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,623
Ooh. Israeli champagne.

151
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,001
And it's vanilla.

152
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,254
I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.

153
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,674
Hey, Rach, so, uh,
how did your thing go?

154
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,760
Oh, good. But I won't hear about that
for a couple days.

155
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,097
Oh, you know what,
you're gonna get it. I can feel it.

156
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,932
Can yQu'_7

157
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,393
All right, everybody, here's to Ross.

158
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:06,064
And to years of hard work
finally paying off.

159
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:10,235
And to knowing that your career
doesn't mean everything.

160
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:14,239
But also knowing it means a lot.

161
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,909
But more importantly, to full,
well-rounded lives.

162
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,870
That center around work.

163
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,039
- To Ross.
ROSS: To Ross.

164
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,588
You know what the best part
about this is? I can never be fired.

165
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:31,131
- Oh, God.
ROSS: No, seriously.

166
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,634
I have job security for life.

167
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,178
You know?
I mean, I never have to worry.

168
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,765
Oh, look at you.
Look how happy you are for me.

169
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,646
[CRYING]
No, it's not that. I got fired today.

170
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,106
And I didn't get the other job.

171
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:54,363
- Oh, my-- Rach, I'm so sorry.
- Oh...

172
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:58,283
- Great, I feel like an idiot.
- No, it's okay. You didn't know.

173
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,037
Little heads-up would've been nice.

174
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,465
Thank you for letting us
see the house again.

175
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:16,218
And thank you for explaining
to us what "escrow" means.

176
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,429
I've already forgotten what you said,
but thank you.

177
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,641
Take as long as you want.
Just let me know when you're through.

178
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,351
MONICA:
Okay, thanks.

179
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:28,730
- Aw, so glad you decided to come.
- Me, too. Yeah, this place is great.

180
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:33,610
So happy for you guys. Although,
you know, I hope you like fungus.

181
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,446
- What?
- Fungus.

182
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,365
Yeah. Place is full of it.

183
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:42,160
No, it's not. We had an inspection
and they didn't find anything.

184
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,872
Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes
and a scratchy throat for no reason.

185
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,959
Maybe it's because you hung your head
out the window like a dog...

186
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,836
...the whole ride here.

187
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,214
Maybe.

188
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,760
So this is the living room, huh?
It's pretty dark.

189
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,474
- No, it's not.
- Are you kidding?

190
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,185
I think I just saw a bat in the corner.

191
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:12,190
When your head was hanging out
the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?

192
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,860
Maybe.

193
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:19,448
Look, I just think you guys can
do better than this house, you know?

194
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,533
Or any other house for that matter.

195
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993
Oh, Joey.

196
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,787
We know you're having a hard
time with this, but we--

197
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,665
- We love it here.
- Fine! If you love this house so much...

198
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,002
...you should live here. I hope you
get used to that humming sound.

199
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,546
[HUMMING]

200
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,174
- Joey, we know that's you.
- No...

201
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,383
...it's not.

202
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,552
[CONTINUES HUMMING]

203
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,723
- Hey.
PHOEBE: Hey.

204
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,017
- Welcome back.
- I missed you.

205
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,977
- Oh, me too.
- So, what's new?

206
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,605
Well, I am no longer Phoebe Buffay.

207
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,274
- That's great. You changed your name?
PHOEBE: Yes, I did.

208
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,570
Meet Princess Consuela
Bananahammock.

209
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,240
- You're kidding, right?
- Nope.

210
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,409
- You really did that?
- Yep.

211
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,745
You can't do that.

212
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,246
Why?

213
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,750
Why? It's fun. It's different.
No one else has a name like it.

214
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,045
Then I'm gonna change my name.

215
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,422
Great. Okay, what are
you gonna change it to?

216
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,508
Crap B39-

217
00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,846
- Mike Crap Bag?
- No. No "Mike." No, just "Crap Bag."

218
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,016
First name: Crap. Last name: Bag.

219
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,102
- You're not serious, right?
- Yeah, I'm serious.

220
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,939
It's fun, it's different,
and no one else has a name like that.

221
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:38,360
Uh-huh. Well, then great.
lfyouloveiLlloveiL

222
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,613
I do love it. And I love your name.
I love Princess Consuela.

223
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,032
And I love Crap.

224
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,164
Oh.

225
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:56,253
- Who are you?
- Oh, hi. I'm Joey.

226
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,297
My stupid friends are buying this house.
Who are you?

227
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:03,343
I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents
are selling this house.

228
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,305
I hate my parents.

229
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,808
I hate my friends.

230
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,981
Look, there's gotta be a way
that we can stop this from happening.

231
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,732
Like what?

232
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:23,697
Oh! Okay, you come with me and you
tell them that the house is haunted.

233
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,032
What are you, 8?

234
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:34,165
- Okay. Let's hear your great idea.
- I don't have any great ideas. I am 8.

235
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,296
Ah, there's gotta be a way.
I mean, you know...

236
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,799
...if Monica and Chandler move out here,
and Phoebe's married to Mike...

237
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,678
...that just leaves me and Ross and Rach.
You know what I mean?

238
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,763
I really don't.

239
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,226
What am I gonna do?
I feel like I'm losing my friends.

240
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,688
- My parents say I'll make new friends.
- Yeah, sure, easy for you.

241
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,858
You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways.

242
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:05,363
This is what my mom was talking about.
Whiners are wieners.

243
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:11,703
Look, you want your friends
to be happy, right?

244
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,498
Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

245
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,920
Well, if moving here is gonna make them
happy, don't you want them to do it'?

246
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,131
Yeah. Maybe.

247
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,468
Then you've gotta let them go.

248
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,850
Oh, I hate to admit it, but you're--

249
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,394
You're probably right.

250
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,730
How'd you get to be so smart?

251
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,107
I read a lot.

252
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,111
Just when I thought we could be friends.

253
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:52,118
Oh, hey, Rach. I just heard. I'm so sorry.

254
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,162
Oh, thank you...

255
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,207
You still don't know my name, do you?

256
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,085
Well, now I don't have to.

257
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,509
Ross, what is taking you so long?

258
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:19,562
I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't
built for a quick getaway.

259
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,900
Rachel?

260
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,112
Mark? Oh, my God.

261
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,865
MARK: How have you been?
- Fantastic. You remember Ross.

262
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,201
- Sure. Sure.
RACHEL: Oh.

263
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,786
What's with the chair?

264
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:41,042
Uh... You know, you can't always
get a seat on the subway, so...

265
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,087
Clever.

266
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,422
So how are you?

267
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,216
Oh. You're not catching me
on my best day.

268
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,428
Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff
doesn't say "big promotion."

269
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,265
No, but it's good. You know,
I'm gonna take some time off...

270
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,434
-...and do charity work.
- Are you sure?

271
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,436
We may have something
at Louis Vuitton.

272
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,105
Screw charity work. What do you got?

273
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,149
Why don't we have dinner and talk?

274
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,110
- Great. I'll call you.
- Okay.

275
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,988
- Nice to see you again.
- Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure.

276
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:17,871
Oh, my God.

277
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,331
See? I told you something good
would come along.

278
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,460
And he seemed really nice.
I've met him before?

279
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,628
Ross, that's Mark.

280
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,716
From Bloomingdale's?
You were insanely jealous of him.

281
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,760
- That is Mark?
- Yes.

282
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,344
- I hate that guy.
- Oh...

283
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,182
No, no, no.
You cannot go to dinner with him.

284
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:41,019
- What? You don't want me to get a job?
- Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job.

285
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,146
Maybe make you his "sex-cretary."

286
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,524
I'm serious.
I just don't trust that guy, okay?

287
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,070
You know what--? Okay, let's talk
about it later. There comes security.

288
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,541
Oh, I love this street.

289
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:08,546
The trees and the big front yards
and the actual picket fences.

290
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,382
Man, those two dogs are going at it.

291
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,011
H93'-

292
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:18,515
- Hey. Where you been?
- Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around.

293
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,183
But you know what?

294
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,602
This house is great.

295
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,562
Really? What changed your mind?

296
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:28,483
The little girl who lives here made me
feel better about the whole thing.

297
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:33,321
Joey? There was a little girl who lived here,
but she died, like, 30 years ago.

298
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,036
What?

299
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,373
I'm just messing with you.

300
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:48,044
That's not funny.
You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts.

301
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,756
Joey, now that you're okay with the house,
do you want to go see your room?

302
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:53,842
What?

303
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,260
I get my own room?

304
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:59,430
You don't think we'd buy a house
and not have a Joey room, do you?

305
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,100
Oh, my God.

306
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:08,523
Hey, can I have an aquarium?
And a sex swing?

307
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,903
BOTH: No.
- Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.

308
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,825
After you, Ms. Bananahammock.

309
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,451
Thank you, Mr. Bag.

310
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,787
Oh, hey!

311
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,539
PHOEBE: Oh, hi, Rita.
- How are you?

312
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,749
Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client.

313
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,459
Yeah.

314
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,420
Why don't you introduce me?

315
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,633
- Rita, this is my husband.
- Oh.

316
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,219
Why don't you tell her my name?

317
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:43,725
Okay, I will. This is, uh--
This is my husband, Crap Bag.

318
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:46,936
Crap Bag?

319
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:51,858
If you need an easy way to remember it,
just think of a bag of crap.

320
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:57,488
- Okay. Excuse me.
- Yeah.

321
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:03,661
Ugh. Okay, fine, you made your point. Can
you please just be Mike Hannigan again?

322
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,413
Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.

323
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,959
How about, um--?
How about Buffay-Hannigan?

324
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,961
- Really?
- Yeah.

325
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,131
I'm Phoebe
Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock.

326
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,344
Do you even know what
a banana hammock is?

327
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,346
It's a funny word.

328
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,264
It's a Speedo.

329
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,020
Oh, crap.

330
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,485
- Hey, is Rachel here?
MONICA: Nope.

331
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,362
She's still at dinner?

332
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,948
- I guess. Why, who's she with?
- That guy, Mark...

333
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:43,201
...from Bloomingdale's.
She thinks he's just being nice to her.

334
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,495
But I know he really wants
to sleep with her.

335
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,498
It's seven years ago.

336
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,043
My time machine works.

337
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:57,131
We ran into him on the street today,
and he said he might have a job for her.

338
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,968
But I know he just wants
to get into her pants.

339
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:05,056
So, what if he wants to sleep with her?
I mean, she's single, and he's cute.

340
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,808
Excuse me?

341
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,518
Oh, please.

342
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,187
Yesterday, on the subway,
you couldn't stop staring...

343
00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,231
...at that woman with the big breasts.

344
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,025
For your information,
I was staring at her baby.

345
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,236
We're about to be parents.

346
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,030
Oh, sorry.

347
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:34,043
- Hi, you guys.
- Hi. So...

348
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,755
-...how was dinner?
- Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.

349
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:41,718
Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What
could that smarmy letch possibly want?

350
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:47,265
Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married.
His wife just had twins.

351
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,559
Should we send something?

352
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,645
How did the job stuff go?

353
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,189
He offered me one.

354
00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,568
- That's great.
- Congratulations.

355
00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:00,611
I know, it's amazing.

356
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:04,741
It's amazing. It's so much better
than what I had at Ralph Lauren.

357
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,368
- The money is great.
- Can we--?

358
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:12,040
Can we just stop for a second? Who said
something better would come along? Huh?

359
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,543
You didn't believe me. I told you
everything was gonna work out.

360
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,880
You know what?
This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.

361
00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:25,553
The job is in Paris.

362
00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,194
I mean, this soap opera is a great gig...

363
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,196
...but am I missing opportunities?

364
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:46,282
You know, I've always thought of myself
as a serious actor.

365
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,951
Should I be trying to do more
independent movies?

366
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,412
I don't know.

367
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,291
But you know what?
I'm gonna put you on with my bear.

368
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:57,210
Hold on.

369
00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:01,047
Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.

370
00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:06,636
[English - US - SDH]