1
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:04,672
Hi!

2
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:07,008
- Hey!
- Hey! Welcome back!

3
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,593
- How was the honeymoon?
- Oh, incredible!

4
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:14,140
Oh, champagne, candle-lit dinners,
moonlight walks on the beach.

5
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:16,434
- It was so romantic.
RACHEL: Oh.

6
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,269
- So where's Mike?
- Oh, he's at the doctor.

7
00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,438
He didn't poop while we were there.

8
00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:26,110
- I'm glad you're back. I need your help.
- Oh, why, what's up?

9
00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:29,530
I have an audition for this play,
and I have to speak French...

10
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,867
...which, according to my résumé,
I'm fluent in.

11
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:37,246
- Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.
- Yeah, you really shouldn't.

12
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:40,458
By the way, how was
that yearlong dig in Cairo?

13
00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:43,878
It was okay.

14
00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:46,922
I did not know you spoke French.

15
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:50,843
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

16
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,262
Oh, oh, you're so sexy.

17
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,766
- Well, so will you help me?
PHOEBE: Sure.

18
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,143
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

19
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:02,146
Ha, ha, seriously, stop it.
I'm gonna jump on you.

20
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,481
- Hey.
- Hi.

21
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:47,650
Why are you wearing my apron?

22
00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:50,111
I'm making cookies for Erica.

23
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,405
We have to leave soon.
Her plane comes in in about an hour.

24
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,951
When she gets here, is it okay
if I introduce you two as my wife...

25
00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,703
...and the woman who's
carrying my child, ha, ha?

26
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,373
No?

27
00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:04,166
Divorce?

28
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,419
- Hey.
MONICA <i>&</i> CHANDLER: Hey.

29
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:10,464
- Uh, you know where Rachel is?
- Haven't seen her since morning.

30
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:14,218
It's unbelievable. She was supposed
to meet me a half-hour ago with Emma.

31
00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:16,011
- Hey!
- Hey!

32
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:19,640
- These are for Erica!
- She's gonna eat all those cookies?

33
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:23,102
Well, I want the baby to come out
all cute and fat!

34
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,982
- So, uh, why is Erica coming to visit?
- We wanna get to know her better.

35
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,735
And, uh, she's never been to New York,
so she wants to see the tourist spots:

36
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,863
Statue of Liberty,
Empire State Building.

37
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,950
Oh, there's always so many people,
and they're being corralled like cattle.

38
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:42,413
And, you know, there's always
some idiot who goes, "Moo."

39
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:45,708
Well, if it annoys you so much,
then why do you do it?

40
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,128
ROSS:
Oh, hi! Hi!

41
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,047
- Thanks for showing up 30 minutes late.
- Ross.

42
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:55,176
No, I'm sure you have a great excuse.
What was it, a hair appointment?

43
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,846
Uh, a mani-pedi?
Was there a sale at Barneys?

44
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,099
My father had a heart attack.

45
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,602
While I was at Barneys.

46
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,814
- Oh, my God, Rach.
- Honey?

47
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,483
- I'm so sorry.
- Uh, is he okay?

48
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:14,111
Yeah, he's gonna be fine,
but he's heavily sedated.

49
00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:16,363
Okay, I'm gonna go
to Long Island with you.

50
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:21,076
- I mean, you can't be alone right now.
- No, come on, I'm totally okay.

51
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,829
I don't need you to come.

52
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:29,835
- I can totally handle this on my own.
- Still, still, let me come for me.

53
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:33,255
Okay. If you really need to.

54
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:36,425
I bet someone could use one
of Monica's freshly baked cookies.

55
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:37,635
- Oh, I really could.
- Oh.

56
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:38,844
Oh.

57
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,937
All right, it seems pretty simple.

58
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,189
Your first line is,
"My name is Claude."

59
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:52,608
- Okay.
- So just repeat after me.

60
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,193
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

61
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,487
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

62
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:03,244
- Well, let's try it again.
- Okay.

63
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,120
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

64
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,790
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

65
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,877
Huh. It's not...

66
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,046
...quite what I'm saying.

67
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:18,092
Really?
Sounds exactly the same to me.

68
00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,719
- It does, really?
- Yeah.

69
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,388
- Let's just try it again.
- Okay.

70
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,806
- Really listen.
- Got it.

71
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,015
Okay.

72
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,518
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

73
00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,771
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

74
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,065
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

75
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:34,358
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

76
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,861
Hey, you guys!

77
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,196
PHOEBE: Hi.
JOEY: Hey!

78
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,865
I want you to meet
someone really special.

79
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,784
- Phoebe, this is Erica.
- Hi.

80
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,577
- And this is the baby!
PHOEBE: Oh, hi.

81
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,455
- Joey,EHca,baby.
- Hi.

82
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,125
Everyone, Erica! Baby!

83
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,919
- Monica. Calm. Self.
- Ha, ha.

84
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,255
JOEY: Hey, sit down.
- Thank you.

85
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:59,300
It's really nice to meet you guys.
I can't believe I'm here.

86
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,760
Well, welcome to New York City,
or should I say:

87
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:02,970
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

88
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,638
...New York City.

89
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,766
Why would you say that?

90
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,228
Okay. What are you
gonna be doing today?

91
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:16,358
Well, I wanna see everything! Times
Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center.

92
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,611
You should walk to the top
of the Statue of Liberty.

93
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,656
- Oh, yeah, let's do that.
- Great.

94
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,700
This baby better be really good.

95
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:34,084
Hi, um, uh, excuse me, I'm here to see
my father. My name is Rachel Green.

96
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:37,296
- And I'm Dr. Ross Geller.
- Ross, please, this is a hospital.

97
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,631
That actually means something here.

98
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,925
- So can we please go in?
- Absolutely.

99
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,303
Rach, I think I'm gonna
wait out here...

100
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:48,432
...because, uh, my throat is feeling a
little scratchy. I don't wanna infect him.

101
00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:53,270
- Ross, please. Don't be so scared of him.
- I am not scared of him. I'm really sick.

102
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:56,607
- He's under sedation, so he's out.
- I'm feeling better.

103
00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:00,110
[GASPS]

104
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,196
Oh, my God.

105
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,448
Oh, oh, wow.

106
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:09,203
That ear and nose hair trimmer I got him
was just money down the drain, huh?

107
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:13,874
Ms. Green? Your father's doctor's on
the phone if you'd like to speak to him.

108
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,709
Oh, great.
Um, are you gonna be okay?

109
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,921
- He's unconscious. We'll be just fine.
- Okay.

110
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,950
[CHUCKLES]

111
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:59,128
- Uh, did the TV wake you?
- No.

112
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:03,841
When you put your feet up on my bed,
you tugged on my catheter.

113
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,553
[CHUCKLES]

114
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,263
Ouchy.

115
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,683
What are you doing here, Geller?

116
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,644
Well, I came with Rachel,
who should be back any second.

117
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:20,482
- So, what's new?
- Oh, I had a little heart attack.

118
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,734
Right. Is it painful?

119
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,070
What, the heart attack
or sitting here talking to you?

120
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,072
[ROSS CHUCKLES]

121
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:30,242
Let's see if we can get
that Rachel back in here.

122
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:34,413
So, what's new with you? Knocked up
any more of my daughters lately?

123
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,623
Nope. Just the one. Rachel!

124
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,086
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

125
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,046
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

126
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,090
No!

127
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:48,051
Okay, maybe if we just break it down.

128
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:53,140
Okay, let's try it one syllable at a time.
Okay, so repeat after me.

129
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,476
[BOTH SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

130
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:58,687
Great! Okay, faster.

131
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:02,024
[BOTH SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

132
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,567
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

133
00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:09,907
- Okay, it's too hard. I can't teach you.
- What are you doing?

134
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,826
I have to go before I put your head
through a wall.

135
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,663
No, no. Don't go, I need you!
My audition is tomorrow!

136
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,292
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

137
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,223
- Hey.
- Hi.

138
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,807
I was gonna make us some dinner...

139
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:39,645
...but all I found in your dad's fridge
was bacon and heavy cream.

140
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,897
I think we solved the mystery
of the heart attack.

141
00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,357
[RACHEL GRUNTS]

142
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,026
- Did you call your parents?
- Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great.

143
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,569
Oh, good.

144
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,239
Wow.

145
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,032
What?

146
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,743
I just can't believe
I'm in Rachel Green's room.

147
00:08:55,744 --> 00:09:00,832
- You've been in my room before.
- Hah, yeah, sure, right. Ha, ha.

148
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,918
Like I'd ever be
in Rachel Green's room.

149
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,921
Okay, I gotta tell you, it's really weird
when you use my whole name.

150
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,632
- Oh, ha, ha.
- Sorry.

151
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,678
- You okay?
- Yeah.

152
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:14,513
- Yeah, you had a rough day, huh?
- Yeah.

153
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:19,059
It's just so weird seeing him like that,
you know? I mean, he's a doctor.

154
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:22,187
You don't expect doctors to get sick.

155
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,314
But we do.

156
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:30,320
Well, he's gonna be okay, Rach.

157
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,783
Aw.

158
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,869
I don't want him to wake up alone.
I should go to the hospital.

159
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,913
- What? No, no. Hey, hey, look.
- What?

160
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,748
They gave him a lot of medication.

161
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,834
He wouldn't even know
if you were there.

162
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:46,086
We'll go see him first thing
in the morning.

163
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,839
- Really? I shouldn't feel guilty?
- No-- God, hey.

164
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,091
Rach, you've been an
amazing daughter, okay?

165
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:55,345
- Right now you need to get some rest.
- Okay, maybe you're right.

166
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,264
Good night.

167
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,143
Wait, wait, wait.

168
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,771
Would you stay here with me
for a little while?

169
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,025
- Sure.
- Okay.

170
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:12,904
- Thank you for coming with me today.
- Oh, of course.

171
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,157
Rachel Green is very happy
you're in her room.

172
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,284
[CHUCKLES]

173
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,995
- Me too. Come here.
- No.

174
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:24,416
I just don't wanna be alone tonight.

175
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:29,755
Okay, well, um, I can maybe grab
a sleeping bag or--

176
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:41,016
[CHUCKLING]

177
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,938
No, Rach!

178
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:51,526
I'm sorry, I just don't
think this is a good idea.

179
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,695
Well, we won't know that
until we do it, will we?

180
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,490
No, um, uh, look, um.

181
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:01,119
You are upset about your father,
and you're feeling vulnerable...

182
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,413
...and I just don't feel
it would be right.

183
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,583
I feel like I'd be, you know,
taking advantage of you.

184
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:10,962
What--? Taking advantage?
I am giving you the advantage. Enjoy!

185
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,424
Look, I'm sure it would be great...

186
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:17,886
...but I think one of us
has to be thinking clearly.

187
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,472
So I'm gonna go.

188
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,394
Wow.

189
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,270
Okay.

190
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,776
- I'll see you in the morning.
- Mm-hm.

191
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:39,658
I haven't had sex in four months.
I should get a medal for that!

192
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:48,875
Thanks so much for taking me
to all those places. I had a great time.

193
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,170
Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I wanna apologize
about Chandler, though.

194
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:57,008
- I just did not see this coming.
- New York is awesome!

195
00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:01,888
- What is with you?
- I've been to these places before...

196
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,807
...but I've never really seen them.

197
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,017
Yeah, you miss a lot
when you're mooing.

198
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:10,939
- Thanks so much for showing me around.
- Oh, it was our pleasure.

199
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,316
We're so much enjoying
getting to know you.

200
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,944
Well, if there's anything else
you wanna know...

201
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,197
Oh, uh...

202
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,907
Okay, um.

203
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,161
Can we ask you some
questions about the father?

204
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,079
Oh, sure. Yeah.

205
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:31,001
Well, he was my high-school boyfriend,
captain of the football team, really cute.

206
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:35,088
- Got a scholarship and went to college.
- That's great.

207
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,718
Yeah, it's almost definitely him.

208
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,846
How's that, now?

209
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,224
Well, there's a chance
it's another guy.

210
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:49,978
I mean, I've only ever been
with two guys...

211
00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,397
...but they sort of overlapped.

212
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,649
So, what does the other guy do?

213
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:58,278
- Does he go to college too?
- No, he's in prison.

214
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:00,614
Oh.

215
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,034
Well, um,
was he falsely accused of something?

216
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,328
No.

217
00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:08,789
He killed his father with a shovel.

218
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,667
Other than that, he's a great guy.

219
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,754
I'll bet his dad doesn't think so.

220
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,807
- Are you awake?
- Of course I'm awake.

221
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,684
Assume from now on
that I'm always awake.

222
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:35,482
All right, we don't know that it's him.
I mean, it could be the football guy.

223
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:38,819
Honey, it's us.
Of course it's the shovel killer.

224
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,950
Well, all right, let's say that it is him.

225
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,785
Would we not want the baby? No.

226
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:50,372
- Would we treat him any differently?
- I'd keep an eye on him.

227
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,043
We have to find out
which the father is.

228
00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:57,003
- How?
- I don't know.

229
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:01,299
- They have tests for these things, right?
- Yeah, but maybe we're overreacting.

230
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,803
Easy for you to say.
He's a father killer.

231
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,264
He probably loves his mommy.

232
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,976
He's probably got a tattoo that says
"Mom" on his shovel-wielding arm.

233
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,984
<i>MAN [ON RECORDING]:
We'll now count from one to five.</i>

234
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:23,905
[MAN COUNTING IN FRENCH
ON RECORDING]

235
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:28,285
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

236
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,247
MAN [ON RECORDING]: Good job.
- Thank you.

237
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,500
- Hey.
- Hey, JOEY-

238
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:39,212
Listen, I feel really badly about
yesterday, and I thought about it a lot.

239
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,966
No, I was too impatient.
So let's try it again.

240
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,885
That's okay. I don't need your help.

241
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:48,013
I worked on it myself,
and I gotta say, I am pretty good.

242
00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:52,642
- Really, can I hear some of it?
- Sure, sure.

243
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:56,187
Okay. Ahem.

244
00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,692
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

245
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,529
See?

246
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,324
Right, but you're not--

247
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,326
You're not-- You're--

248
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:12,579
Again, you're not speaking French!

249
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:18,293
Oh, well, I think I am! Yeah, and I think
I'm definitely gonna get the part!

250
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,545
How could you possibly think that?

251
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,423
The guy on the tape said
I was doing a good job!

252
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,347
Hey, Rach, can you grab me
a cup of coffee?

253
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,017
Sure.

254
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,812
You've been quiet all morning.
ls everything okay?

255
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,023
Mm-hm.

256
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,693
- You sure you're all right?
- Yep.

257
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,154
Okay. Um.

258
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,782
Well, I'm gonna go, uh,
grab us some breakfast.

259
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,785
- FYI.
- There it is.

260
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:59,876
In the future, when a girl asks for some
ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.

261
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:05,090
Wait, wait, you're, uh, mad at me
about last night?

262
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:08,009
- I was just trying to do the right thing.
- Really?

263
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,844
If you had done the right thing...

264
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,931
...I wouldn't have woken up
feeling stupid and embarrassed.

265
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:16,518
I would've woken up feeling
comforted and satisfied.

266
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,939
- Well--
- Oh, stop that!

267
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,776
I can't believe this!
I was just being a good guy.

268
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,529
I treated you with
respect and understanding.

269
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,197
Oh, that is so hot.

270
00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:32,158
Hey, I was looking out for you.

271
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,661
Oh, really? Well, you know what?
lam a big girl.

272
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,497
I don't need someone telling me
what is best for me.

273
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,707
[SCOFFS]

274
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:42,335
I gotta say, I've not had sex a lot
of times before. This is the worst ever!

275
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:46,881
Oh, oh, really? Really?
Well, it wasn't very good for me either.

276
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,217
Oh, okay, you know--?
Hey, hey, you know what?

277
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,469
To avoid this little thing
in the future...

278
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,264
...let's just say, you and me?
Never having sex again.

279
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,017
- What?
- That's right! Sex is off the table!

280
00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,854
I am never having sex with you again!

281
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,571
Dr. Green, are you feeling better?

282
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,410
- Hey! How was lunch?
ERICA: We had a good time.

283
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,455
By the way, I wanted
to ask you something.

284
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,875
It would really mean a lot to me
if the baby was a boy...

285
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,127
...that you name him after my father...

286
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,421
...Jiminy Billy Bob.

287
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:34,012
- Oh, really?
- No! Ha, ha.

288
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,598
- You were right. That was fun.
- Ha-ha-ha.

289
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,435
I'm gonna go finish packing.

290
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,062
- Okay.
- Ha, ha.

291
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:47,650
- So is she gonna take the test?
- No, she doesn't have to.

292
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,153
- I found out who the father is.
- Oh, God.

293
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,281
- It's Shovely Joe, isn't it'?
- No, it's not.

294
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:54,532
How do you know?

295
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,285
Erica didn't pay attention
in sex ed. class...

296
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,913
...because the things she did
with that prison guy?

297
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,165
It'd be pretty hard to make
a baby that way.

298
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:06,669
Oh, God, what was it? The thing we
hardly ever do, or the thing we never do?

299
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,673
The thing we never do.

300
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,968
Shovely Joe.

301
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,231
- Whenever you're ready, Joey.
JOEY: Right. Ahem.

302
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,983
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

303
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:39,536
- I'm sorry, what's going on?
- Dude, come on, French it up.

304
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,580
Joey, do you speak French?

305
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,791
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

306
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,006
You know what?
I think this audition is over.

307
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,635
PHOEBE [IN FRENCH ACCENT]:
Uh, excuse me?

308
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,805
Uh, I am Régine Phalange.

309
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:03,935
Uh, I was passing by when
I heard this man speaking...

310
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:10,191
...the regional dialect of my
French town of Estée Lauder.

311
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,987
You really think this man
is speaking French?

312
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,573
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

313
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,784
[IN FRENCH]

314
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,561
Good job, little buddy.

315
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,274
That was some really good French.

316
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,277
But I think we're gonna go
with someone else for the part.

317
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:57,947
- Oh, all right, but my French was good?
- It was great.

318
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,532
Oh, ha, ha, see?

319
00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:01,534
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

320
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,578
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

321
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,629
- Emma's down for the night.
- Oh, good.

322
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:16,674
- So, uh, I guess I'm gonna take oh'.
- Okay.

323
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:19,594
Hey, listen, uh, just before you go--

324
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,013
I just wanna say thank you
for coming with me.

325
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,598
Oh, no problem.

326
00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:26,768
And also, you know, I, uh--

327
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:31,689
I was thinking about what you said, uh,
you know, about the whole sex thing...

328
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:35,360
Probably not a great idea
to go down that road again.

329
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:38,905
Thank you. I'm glad you agree.

330
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,407
It's a shame, though.
When we did it, it was pretty good.

331
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,076
[LAUGHS]

332
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:44,953
Yeah.

333
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,455
Yeah, that's true.

334
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,792
Hey, um, do you remember
that one really great time?

335
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,752
- Oh, yeah!
- You know?

336
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,172
- It was Valentine's Day.
- It was your birthday.

337
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,550
[IN UNISON]
Oh, yeah.

338
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:06,891
Well, I guess that's all
in the past now.

339
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,686
Mm-hm.

340
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:15,108
- Not even one more time.
- Not even once.

341
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,945
- No matter how much we want it.
- Even if we want it...

342
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,989
-...really bad.
- That's what we decided.

343
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:24,075
Yeah, ha, ha, that's right.

344
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,580
- It's kind of hard, though. You know?
- Yeah.

345
00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:34,085
When two people have a connection,
you know, that's--

346
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,754
Just seems like...

347
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,423
...such a...

348
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,550
...waste.

349
00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:45,221
I hate waste.

350
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:53,187
- Ross?
- Yes?

351
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:55,189
Just so you know...

352
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,026
...with us...

353
00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:00,737
...it's never off the table.

354
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:14,667
Damn it, it's never off the table.

355
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,846
- Okay, can you really tap-dance?
- No.

356
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,057
It's off the résumé.

357
00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:32,268
- Archery?
- No.

358
00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:35,730
- Horseback riding?
- Would fall off a lot.

359
00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:39,734
You can drink a gallon of milk
in 10 seconds?

360
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,527
That I can do.

361
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:45,531
Come on, you can drink
a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?

362
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,617
All right, watch me.

363
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:54,207
- Okay, you time me, ready?
- Ready, go!

364
00:23:24,529 --> 00:23:25,571
You did it!

365
00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:35,039
[English - US - SDH]