1
00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:06,088
Hey, you guys.

2
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,673
PHOEBE: Hey.
- What are you doing?

3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,968
- Figuring out our wedding plans.
- We were doing the same thing.

4
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,636
Yeah.

5
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:17,307
It's really crazy.
The hall, the dress, the food.

6
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:20,894
- I had no idea how expensive this stuff was.
- Yeah, it is really pricey.

7
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:24,606
- I freaked when I heard the numbers.
- So, what did you two do about it?

8
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,693
It was simple. I came up with
some cost-cutting solutions...

9
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,863
...wrote out a list
and Monica told me to go to hell.

10
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,657
There's no way around it.

11
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,577
Just accept that this is
gonna cost a lot of money.

12
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:40,205
I heard that weddings are, like,
a $40 billion-a-year industry.

13
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:43,375
Yeah. And I'm responsible
for just, like, half of that.

14
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:48,422
But really, it does seem like this money
could be put to better use.

15
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,673
Are you serious?

16
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:53,177
Yeah. Now, how would you feel if we gave
all the wedding money to charity...

17
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,721
...and we just got married at City Hall?

18
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,183
I think it would make me
wanna marry you even more.

19
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,229
Well, I gotta say, you guys,
that's an incredible gesture.

20
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,398
Maybe you do that
next time you get married.

21
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:12,613
No, no, no. The next time's
gonna be Hawaii at sunset.

22
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,740
But maybe the time after that.

23
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,157
- Hey.
BOTH: Hey.

24
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,408
What's going on?

25
00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:02,204
Our adoption social worker is coming by,
so we're cleaning the apartment.

26
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,081
"We"?

27
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,669
You know you don't want me to help.
You can't have it both ways.

28
00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:12,923
Hey, is this the person who decides
whether or not you get a baby?

29
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,468
- Kind of. She's coming to see where we live.
- And it has to go perfectly.

30
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:21,014
If she doesn't like us, she can keep
us off every adoption list in the state.

31
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:24,393
Hey, maybe I should stop by.
She could be a soap-opera fan.

32
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:28,021
It's very impressive when
the little people know a celebrity.

33
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,357
"Little people"?

34
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,317
"Celebrity."

35
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,487
So I think I'm just about done here.

36
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:40,367
Unless you have any bad stuff hidden
somewhere, like porn or cigarettes?

37
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,244
What?

38
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,123
- No.
- Chandler.

39
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,546
I don't, and I'm offended
by the insinuation.

40
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,340
So there's not a magazine
under the couch...

41
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,510
...or a pack of cigarettes
taped to the back of the toilet tank...

42
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,221
...or a filthy video in the VCR?

43
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,099
I'll admit to the cigarettes
and the magazine.

44
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,851
But that tape is not mine.

45
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:10,105
- It isn't mine.
- I guess we'll never know whose it is.

46
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,198
- May I help you?
- Yes.

47
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,618
We're here to make a rather
sizable donation to the children.

48
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:25,412
Well, any contribution,
large or small, is appreciated.

49
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,707
Well, I think you're gonna appreciate
the crap out of this one.

50
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:32,336
- Well, this is very generous.
- And we don't want any recognition.

51
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,171
This is completely anonymous.

52
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,924
Completely anonymous.
From two kind strangers.

53
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:40,135
Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.

54
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:43,180
We can put your names
in our newsletter.

55
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,266
- Not necessary.
- Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.

56
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,521
And X is spelled, uh, "Mike Hannigan."

57
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,359
All right, well, on behalf of the children,
thank you both very much.

58
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:59,863
- Sure. I'm glad we did this. It feels so good.
- It does. It feels really good.

59
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,616
Oh, look.
And we get these free T-shirts.

60
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:06,036
Actually, that's the shirt
I wore to the gym.

61
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:07,996
It's moist.

62
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,835
RACHEL: Emma will be up in a minute.
ROSS: Oh, good.

63
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:18,423
Oh, hey, Ross, listen. I heard about
you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.

64
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,803
Aw, that's okay. I'm sure there are tons of
other beautiful paleontologists out there.

65
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,764
- Absolutely.
- There was one. She's it.

66
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,142
All the rest look like
they should live under a bridge.

67
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,272
So, uh, what are you gonna do today?

68
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,899
Well, I was thinking of taking Emma
to the playground.

69
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,610
Oh, my God. What?

70
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:44,783
Like I said, I was thinking of taking
Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire.

71
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:53,041
Okay, look, Ross. I do not want
Emma going to the playground.

72
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,462
Because?

73
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:01,383
All right, if you must know,
I had a traumatic...

74
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:05,178
...swing incident when I was little.

75
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,015
- Seriously?
- Yes. I was 4 years old.

76
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,017
And I was on the swing...

77
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:14,021
...and then all of a sudden my hair
got tangled in the chain.

78
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:20,777
And to get me out, my mom had
to cut a big chunk of my hair.

79
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,114
And it was uneven for weeks.

80
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,498
And you made it through that?

81
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,003
I wonder who's gonna play you
in the movie.

82
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:43,175
Okay, fine, you can make fun of me.
I do not want Emma going there.

83
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,969
And I was thinking Claire Danes.

84
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,431
Look, I'm sorry to hear
about your tragedy.

85
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:53,393
Okay? But the swings are perfectly safe.
And besides, Emma loves them.

86
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:58,565
- You should come, and you'll see.
- Those things go, like, 40 miles an hour.

87
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:01,068
And there's that moment
when you're at the top...

88
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:05,072
...when you just don't know
if you're gonna return back to Earth.

89
00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:09,618
Space is filled with orbiting children.

90
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,790
Look, please, just come on.

91
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:18,627
When you see the look on Emma's face,
I swear, you won't regret it.

92
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,756
- All right.
- Good.

93
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,383
You don't wanna be a mothers...

94
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,761
...who pass on their irrational fears
to their children, do you?

95
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,388
"Irrational," huh?

96
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:33,308
I'll remember that next time you freak
out about a spider in your apartment.

97
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,559
Oh, yeah, that's the same.

98
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,771
I'm sure there are 30 different species
of poisonous swings.

99
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,775
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

100
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,152
Oh, my God. The adoption lady is early.

101
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,071
Okay. Okay. Here we go.

102
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,656
MONICA: Okay.
- Here we go.

103
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,074
Stand up straight.

104
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,076
Big smile.

105
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,498
Hello. Is this the Creepy residence?

106
00:06:56,666 --> 00:07:00,085
We're waiting for the adoption lady.
But, hey, I'm glad you're here.

107
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,796
I was cleaning this morning
and I found this.

108
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,007
I don't know if you wanna use it, but...

109
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:09,261
Oh, this is so sweet of you.

110
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,223
Oh, but I won't be needing a veil.
I actually won't be wearing a dress at all.

111
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:16,351
I told you, I am not coming
to a naked wedding.

112
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,812
No, no, no.
We're not having a big reception.

113
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,856
We took the wedding money
we were gonna spend...

114
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,899
...and donated it to a children's charity.

115
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,693
That's crazy!

116
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:30,991
I'm sorry. I can't imagine giving up
my one wedding day like that.

117
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,494
Yeah, well, we're different.
I don't care about having a huge party.

118
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,955
This is really nice for you, but...

119
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,709
Oh, please. I put this on
and, ugh, I just look like...

120
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,752
Well, radiant.

121
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:49,009
All right, but who cares? You know,
I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.

122
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,178
That's right.
You're making a commitment.

123
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:54,848
And, you know, that's the same
whether you do it at the Plaza or...

124
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,933
- Where you gonna do it?
- City Hall.

125
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,602
Oh!

126
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,730
Oh, that sounds nice.

127
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:06,151
I was just there for jury duty.
They've really spruced that place up.

128
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,947
Okay. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
I've made my decision.

129
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,867
What I really want
is a great big wedding.

130
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,952
Yay!

131
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:20,665
- But you gave all the money to charity.
- Well, I'll just ask for it back.

132
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,294
- I don't think you can do that.
MONICA: Why not?

133
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,757
This is her wedding day. That's way
more important than some stupid kids.

134
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,428
That's sweet, honey,
but save something for the adoption lady.

135
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,854
RACHEL: All right, okay. Be careful.
ROSS: Okay.

136
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:46,399
Careful. Watch her hair. Watch her hair!

137
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,237
- Rach, she's got, like, three hairs.
- I know. I know.

138
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:55,617
But they're just so beautiful.
Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.

139
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:59,329
I promise you she's safe, okay?
Watch how much she loves this.

140
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:03,166
- Okay. Okay.
- Are you ready, sweetie? Here we go.

141
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:09,005
RACHEL:
Okay, careful. Okay. Oh.

142
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,343
She's smiling.

143
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,929
Look at that, she does like it.

144
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,516
- See, I told you.
- Oh. Ah!

145
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,393
[GIGGLING]

146
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,731
Oh, my God. Look at her,
she's a little daredevil.

147
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,985
- Oh, God. Let me push. Can I push?
- Oh, absolutely.

148
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:34,823
Okay. Oh, God. Okay, get the camera.
It's in the diaper bag.

149
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,408
Okay.

150
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:41,788
See? Scared of the swings.
I bet you feel pretty silly. Aah!

151
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,836
We're seriously asking
for the money back?

152
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,546
It's for our wedding day.

153
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,883
All right, now, is this guy gay or straight?
Because one of us has to start flirting.

154
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,387
Wow. You here to make another
donation the same day?

155
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,639
I don't think that's ever happened before.

156
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,516
Gay. Go.

157
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,314
Oh, my God, I love your shirt.

158
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:13,361
The donation we made earlier?
Um, well, we want it back.

159
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,697
Excuse me?

160
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,367
See, okay, that money was for
a big wedding we thought we didn't want.

161
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,369
But it turns out we do.

162
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:24,623
So you're asking us to refund
your donation to the children?

163
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,541
Yeah.

164
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,170
This feels really good.

165
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:37,344
Yeah, I'm sorry. I am. But this wedding's
just really important to me.

166
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:41,181
Hey, it's none of my business.
Besides, this is probably a good thing.

167
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:45,977
We've really been spoiling the children,
what with all the food and warm clothing.

168
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,689
That's not fair.
A person's wedding is important.

169
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,483
And especially to me.

170
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,445
Okay, I didn't have a graduation party.
And I didn't go to prom.

171
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:59,366
And I spent my sweet 16
being chased around a tire yard...

172
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:03,203
...by an escaped mental patient who,
in his own words, wanted to:

173
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,038
"Kill me, or whatever."

174
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,584
So I deserve a real celebration.

175
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:14,130
And I'm not gonna let some sweaty
little man make me feel badly about it.

176
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:21,262
She could've been talking about
either one of us.

177
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,975
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

178
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:30,397
Hi, I'm Laura.
I'm here for your adoption interview.

179
00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:33,191
Hi, I'm Monica. And this is Chandler.

180
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,568
LAURA: Hi. Thank you.
- Please come in.

181
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,780
- Would you like something to drink?
LAURA: Water would be fine.

182
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,116
We're so glad that you're here.

183
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,910
We're really excited about
getting this process started.

184
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:47,080
Because we love kids.
Love them to death.

185
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,667
Well, not actually to death.
That's just a figure of speech.

186
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,044
We love kids the appropriate amount...

187
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,006
...as allowed by law.

188
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,136
- Your place is just lovely.
- Thank you.

189
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:05,306
Yes, this building does have
a wholesome, family feel to it.

190
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,767
I feel like I've been here before.

191
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,936
Are any other couples
in the building adopting?

192
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,938
Is that that couple on the first floor?

193
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,482
Because we should get a baby
before them.

194
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,526
That guy tried to sell me drugs.

195
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,614
But other than that,
wholesome, wholesome building.

196
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,867
Oh.

197
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:27,537
- What?
- I just realized why I remember this place.

198
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,873
- Really? What is it?
- Oh, it's nothing.

199
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:34,335
I went on a date with a guy who lived
in this building. It didn't end very well.

200
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,464
That wouldn't, by any chance,
be Joey Tribbiani?

201
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:40,592
- Yes!
- Of course it was.

202
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:45,764
We had a great night. In the morning,
he promised he'd call and he didn't.

203
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,432
Rat bastard!

204
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,103
- So you're not friends with him?
- Oh, God, no.

205
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,439
- No, no, no.
- No. Nope.

206
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,526
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no. No.

207
00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,236
No.

208
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,324
Well, I'm sorry I brought it up.

209
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,035
So are either one of you planning
on staying at home?

210
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,244
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

211
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:12,624
JOEY:
Hello? Anybody in there order a celebrity?

212
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,751
Ow!

213
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,253
What was that?

214
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:21,049
That's just some crazy guy
who roams the halls here.

215
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,092
He's great with kids, though.

216
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:34,354
- Ross. Oh, my God, are you okay?
- Son of a bitch!

217
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,944
Oh, relax. I didn't say the F-word.

218
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,032
Ross, see, I told you!
Those swings are evil!

219
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,283
All right. That is it.

220
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:51,120
That's the last time Emma is getting on
one of those things for her entire life.

221
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:54,874
No, no, no. Okay, it wasn't
the swing's fault. It was my fault.

222
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:58,086
And kind of that kid's fault.

223
00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:01,256
Who is still laughing. Nice.

224
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,009
Come on. Can we just get out of here
before somebody else gets hurt?

225
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,429
No. Okay, okay. Wait. I have an idea.
I want you to get on the swing...

226
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,975
...and you'll see that there's
nothing to be afraid of.

227
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,188
I know what this is all about.

228
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,358
You've always been jealous of my hair.

229
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:25,572
I just think you're an adult, okay?
And you should get over your silly fears.

230
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,907
- All right, fine. I'll do it.
- Good.

231
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:31,119
- If you hold a spider.
- Where? Where?

232
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:34,247
If you hold a spider.

233
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,124
I know.

234
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,756
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

235
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,800
Guys, is everything okay?
It's me, Joey.

236
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,468
[SCREAMS]

237
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,471
Adoption!

238
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,516
What's going on?

239
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,269
Oh, it's just like I said, that crazy...

240
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,147
...Bert, roaming the halls.

241
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,356
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

242
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,192
JOEY: Guys?
- Keep on roaming, Bert!

243
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,321
We don't want any crazy today!

244
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,783
JOEY: What's going on?
- We'll talk later, Bert. Everything's fine!

245
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,078
Everything doesn't sound fine.

246
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,581
Is he all right out there by himself?

247
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,001
Oh, yeah. He has a caretaker.
His older brother...

248
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,336
...Ernie.

249
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:27,550
- Bert and Ernie?
- You can't make this stuff up.

250
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,847
You never told me about that guy
and your sweet 16.

251
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,558
- I'm sorry about that.
- Oh, it ended okay.

252
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,977
One of my friends shot him.

253
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,232
Well, at least you'll get a proper wedding.
You really deserve that.

254
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,236
Yeah, I really do.
You know, I had nothing growing up.

255
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:52,241
Just like the kids I took the money from.

256
00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:57,205
No. No, no. I see where this is going.
Don't make me go back there.

257
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:02,335
Look, I can't have a wedding
with this money now. It's tainted.

258
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,963
Fine, we'll give the money back.

259
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,590
If that guy at the charity
gives us a hard time...

260
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:11,052
...my friend hasn't shot anyone
in a really long time.

261
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:16,349
I must say this seems like a lovely
environment to raise a child in.

262
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,352
You are welcome to look
under any of the furniture...

263
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:23,147
...because, believe me, you won't find
any porn or cigarettes under there.

264
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:28,695
Before we look around, let me make sure
I have everything I need up to here.

265
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:37,036
Why don't I show you the baby's room.

266
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,960
- What are you doing?
- You wouldn't let me in.

267
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,379
- I thought you were in trouble.
- Well, we're not.

268
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,881
But you called me "Bert."

269
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,551
That's our code word for danger.

270
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:55,972
- We don't have a code word.
- We don't?

271
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,349
We really should.

272
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,603
From now on, "Bert"
will be our code word for danger.

273
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,398
MONICA:
So that was the baby's room.

274
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:11,487
- Uh, what room should we see next?
- Any room that isn't behind this couch.

275
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,197
[LAUGHING]

276
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:17,035
Some people don't get him,
but I think he's really funny.

277
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,836
I did not care for that.

278
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:28,921
You have to get out of here.

279
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,716
You slept with our social worker
and never called her back.

280
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,968
She is still pissed, so she can't see you.

281
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,970
Okay, okay.

282
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,684
CHANDLER: What?
- I forgot my bat.

283
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,397
Oh, my God.

284
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:50,735
And for the last time,
we do not want to be friends with you!

285
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,573
And we don't wanna buy your bat!

286
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,077
What are you doing here?

287
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,954
Bert. Bert. Bert. Bert.

288
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:09,128
- Are you friends with him?
- I can explain.

289
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,422
Joey?

290
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,092
All right. Okay. Uh...

291
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,137
Wow. Yeah...

292
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:21,182
You have got some nerve
coming back here.

293
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,728
- I can't believe you never called me.
- Excuse me?

294
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,982
You probably don't even remember
my name. It's Joey, by the way.

295
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:34,529
And don't bother telling me yours,
because I totally remember it, lady.

296
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,158
I waited weeks for you to call me.

297
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,410
I gave you my number.
You never called me.

298
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,746
Don't try to turn this around on me.

299
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,917
I am not some kind of social work...

300
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,627
...that you can just...

301
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,254
...do.

302
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:58,678
- I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
- Really? Think about it. Come on.

303
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,348
You're a beautiful woman. Smart, funny.

304
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,434
We had a really good time. Huh?

305
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:09,063
If I had your number,
why wouldn't I call you?

306
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,773
I don't know.

307
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,194
Well, maybe I'm wrong. I'm sorry.

308
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:20,241
Hey, too late for apologies. Okay?
You broke my heart.

309
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,619
You know how many women
I had to sleep with to get over you?

310
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,125
- Joey, wait...
JOEY: No!

311
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,253
I waited a long time!
I can't wait anymore.

312
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,676
I'm sorry that you had to see that.
I'm so embarrassed.

313
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,054
- Oh, that's really okay.
- Yeah. We totally understand.

314
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:45,892
- Dating is hard.
- Boy, you people are nice.

315
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,437
And I've got to say...

316
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:53,399
...I think you're going to make
excellent parents.

317
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,194
[DOOR OPENS]

318
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,821
Laura!

319
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,205
We're back.

320
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,249
Are you here to take more money?

321
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:13,127
Because I think what you're
looking for is an ATM.

322
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,005
No, no, we're here
to give the money back.

323
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:20,051
Yeah. Because you know what?
It's all about the children.

324
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,887
Although it's also about the wedding.

325
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,974
Ugh. All right, here. No. Oh, God.

326
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:30,978
If I haven't said so already,
sir, congratulations.

327
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,231
Okay, look, enough, all right?

328
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,358
I'm stepping in
and putting my foot down.

329
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:38,986
As your future husband,
I'm gonna make this decision for us.

330
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,657
What do you think we should do?

331
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,661
- It's not your decision anymore.
- What?

332
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:50,081
On behalf of the children of New York,
I reject your money.

333
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:53,834
- But we're giving you this.
- And I'm giving it back to you.

334
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,921
Come on. Consider it a contribution.

335
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,716
Well, this is very generous.

336
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,134
Please, take the check.

337
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:05,596
Go have a great wedding
and a wonderful life together.

338
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,015
Sounds good to me. We can save up,
come back...

339
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:10,726
...and make an even bigger donation.
MAN: Absolutely.

340
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,687
And when you do, ask for Brian.

341
00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,188
- Oh, is that you?
- No.

342
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,276
[PHONE RINGS]

343
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,320
Hello?

344
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,073
Oh, hi.

345
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:28,911
Oh, my God, really?
I can't wait to tell Chandler.

346
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,830
Okay. Goodbye.

347
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,875
- Wrong number?
- That was Laura.

348
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:38,296
She gave us a great report and
we're officially on the waiting list.

349
00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,923
- That's great.
- Now we just wait for a call...

350
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:45,011
...and someone tells us
there's a baby waiting for us. Oh.

351
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,348
[PHONE RINGS]

352
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,316
Hello?

353
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,651
Have you seen Joey's bat?

354
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,618
Okay. I got a spider.

355
00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:12,121
There were two, I picked the bigger one.

356
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,042
- Okay.
- Okay.

357
00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,630
This feels perfectly normal.

358
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:25,259
Okay, get on the swing.

359
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,721
RACHEL:
Okay.

360
00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:39,065
Okay.

361
00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:43,027
Oh, okay.

362
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,572
Wow. Whoa.

363
00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:49,492
- See?
- All right. I can do this.

364
00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:51,494
There you go. Good for you.

365
00:22:51,661 --> 00:22:54,121
You know what?
I'm getting used to this little guy.

366
00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:57,833
- I don't even feel him in here anymore.
- That's because he's on your neck.

367
00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:59,710
[SCREAMS]

368
00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:02,463
Whoa! Ross!

369
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,471
[English - US - SDH]