1
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:10,551
So I'll get candles
and my mom's lace tablecloth.

2
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,220
Since it's Rachel's birthday
and we want it to be special...

3
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,597
...I thought I'd poach a salmon.
GROUP: Oh.

4
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,099
What?

5
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,561
Question: Why do we always have to
have parties where you poach things?

6
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,147
You wanna be in charge
of the food committee?

7
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:26,400
Question two: Why do we always
have parties with committees?

8
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,736
Yeah, yeah.
Why can't we just get some pizzas...

9
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,946
...and gets some beers and have fun?
- Yeah.

10
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,657
Yeah, I agree. You know,
I think fancy parties are only fun...

11
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,869
...if you're fancy on the inside,
and I'm just not sure we are.

12
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,664
All right.
You guys don't want it to be special?

13
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,500
Fine. You can throw
any kind of party you want.

14
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:46,462
- Joey, they're not real.
- Huh? Huh.

15
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:50,883
I start miles beneath the surface
of these things, okay? They're fake.

16
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,593
See? Honk, honk.

17
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:57,347
Wow, it's like porno for clowns.

18
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,484
I talked to Rachel's sisters.
Neither of them can come.

19
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:54,154
Okay, so I still have to invite Dylan
and Emma and Shannon Cooper.

20
00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:56,532
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Uh, no Shannon Cooper.

21
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,117
Why not her?

22
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:01,203
Because she, uh... She steals stuff.

23
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,290
Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff...

24
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,627
...and Joey slept with her
and never called her back.

25
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,507
- Joey, that is horrible.
- Hey, I liked her.

26
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:17,010
All right? Maybe too much. I don't know.

27
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,471
I guess I just got scared.

28
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,391
I'm sorry. I didn't know.

29
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:26,145
Heh. I didn't think anyone
would buy that. Okay.

30
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:31,233
- Hi, honey. How did it go?
- Ugh. It was the graduation from hell.

31
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,570
You know, my cousin went to hell
on a football scholarship.

32
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,948
You know, I mean, this is supposed to be
a joyous occasion.

33
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:41,326
My sister's graduating from college.
Nobody thought she would.

34
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:45,581
It's a true testament to what a girl
from Long Island would do for a Celica.

35
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,001
- So, what happened?
- My parents happened.

36
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,296
All they had to do was sit
in the same stadium, smile proudly...

37
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:55,549
...and not talk about the divorce. But no.

38
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,635
They got into a huge fight in the middle
of the commencement address.

39
00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:02,723
Bishop Tutu actually
had to stop and shush them.

40
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,393
Ugh. But you know what?
You know what the good news is?

41
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,437
I get to serve coffee
for the next eight hours.

42
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,147
[CHUCKLES]

43
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,650
Okay, so I guess
we don't invite her parents.

44
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,361
- Well, how about just her mom?
- Why her mom?

45
00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,697
Because I already invited her.

46
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,283
Ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?

47
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,743
Uh, can't invite her.

48
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:26,955
She also steals.

49
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,798
Okay, here are the candles.
Where's the birthday cake?

50
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:40,844
Okay, we're not having birthday cake.
We're having birthday flan.

51
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,139
Excuse me?

52
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,308
It's a traditional
Mexican custard dessert.

53
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,018
Whoa, that's nice.

54
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,854
Happy birthday, Rachel.
Here's some goo.

55
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,523
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

56
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,196
MONICA:
Dr. Green.

57
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,323
Oh, my God. It's Rachel's dad.

58
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,285
What are you doing here?

59
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,205
What, the father can't drop by to see
the daughter on her birthday?

60
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,290
No, no, the father can.

61
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:14,211
But, um, since I am the roommate,
I can tell you that she's not here.

62
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,338
And I'll pass along the message.
Okay? So bye-bye.

63
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:20,342
Oh. You're having a party.

64
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,177
No, no, not a party.

65
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:25,764
Just a surprise gathering
of some people Rachel knows.

66
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,810
- Uh, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
- I'll never remember all of that.

67
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,479
So, uh, what's the deal?

68
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:36,400
Rachel comes home, people pop out
and yell stuff? Is that it?

69
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,860
This isn't your first
surprise party, is it, sir?

70
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,780
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

71
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,574
Hi, Monica.

72
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:50,372
The Chinese menu guy.
Forgot the menus.

73
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,709
So basically, just a Chinese guy.

74
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,627
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

75
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:59,798
Hey, Dr. Green, come with me.
We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.

76
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,886
All right.
That sounds like a two-person job.

77
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,434
Well, my goodness. What was that?

78
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,894
Sandra, I am so sorry.
I thought you were Rachel.

79
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,646
And we weren't ready for you yet.

80
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:18,608
- You thought I was Rachel?
- Yes, because, uh, you look so young.

81
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:21,403
And because you're both,
you know, white women.

82
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,199
Oh, I missed you kids.

83
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,368
Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?

84
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:29,911
No.

85
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,540
- No, I'll take that for you.
- Oh, well, thank you.

86
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,376
- Okay.
- Such a gentleman. Thank you.

87
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,879
Oh.

88
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:43,633
Oh, it all looks so nice.
So festive. All the balloons.

89
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,929
Oh, the funniest thing happened
to me on the way here.

90
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:50,557
- I was driving...
- That's great. Ha-ha-ha.

91
00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:57,105
I can't wait to hear the rest,
but I have to go to the bathroom.

92
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,107
So... Hey, come with me.

93
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,902
- What?
- Yeah, yeah. It will be like we're gal pals.

94
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,905
You know, like at a restaurant.
Oh, it'll be fun. Come on.

95
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,281
Ha, ha. Come on.

96
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:14,373
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Okay, think. Think.

97
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,666
What would Jack and Chrissy do?

98
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:22,214
Okay, now that your coat
is safely in the bed...

99
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,674
Okay. We can come back out
in the living room. Ha, ha.

100
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:29,304
So, Joey and Chandler, I think it's time
that you take Dr. Green over to your place.

101
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,056
Uh, yes, absolutely.

102
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,642
Um, why, again?

103
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:37,521
Because that's where
the party is, you goon.

104
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,774
See, this is just the staging area.

105
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,276
- Right, it's the staging area.
- This is the staging area.

106
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:46,321
This is clearly in the wrong apartment.

107
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:55,539
All right, you guys are off
to party number one.

108
00:06:56,457 --> 00:07:00,710
And you...
You are off to party number two.

109
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,548
All right, fellas, let's keep it moving,
let's keep it moving.

110
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:09,302
Chandler, could you at least
send some women to my party.

111
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,555
[DOOR BUZZER]

112
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,974
Okay, that's Ross. All right.

113
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,143
Okay, they're coming. Shh!

114
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,610
Thank you for such a wonderful dinner.

115
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,654
Thanks for being born.

116
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,615
Oh, thank you for my beautiful earrings.
They're perfect.

117
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,451
- Aw.
- I love you.

118
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:35,954
Oh. Now, you can exchange them
if you want, okay?

119
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,416
Hmm. Now I love you even more.

120
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,548
ALL:
Surprise!

121
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,009
Oh, my gosh. Wow.

122
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:52,220
Oh, Monica. Oh, my God. Mom.

123
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,722
This is so great.

124
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,974
SANDRA:
Happy birthday, sweetie.

125
00:07:56,142 --> 00:08:00,353
Wow. You. I had no idea.

126
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:01,646
- Really?
- No, I knew.

127
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,190
All right.

128
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,610
Everybody, there's food and drinks
on the table.

129
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,111
- Go across the hall.
BOTH: What?

130
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,654
Right now, Joey and Chandler's. Go.

131
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,531
- Why?
- Just go.

132
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,827
- Weird.
ALL: Surprise!

133
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:18,205
[LAUGHING]

134
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,583
Happy birthday, sweet pea.

135
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,668
Daddy! Ha, ha.

136
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,259
Both of them are here? Both of them?
Both of them are here?

137
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,928
Well, we could count again?

138
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:34,346
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

139
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,390
- I can't believe this is happening.
- You know what? This is ridiculous.

140
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:40,101
Okay, this is your birthday,
this is your party.

141
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:43,647
I say we just put them all together.
If they can't deal with it, who cares?

142
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,233
- I do.
- That's who.

143
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,152
Look, are you gonna be okay?

144
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,363
Well, I have to be.
I don't really have a choice.

145
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,323
I mean, I can look at the bright side.

146
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:56,284
I get two birthday parties
and two birthday cakes.

147
00:08:56,452 --> 00:09:00,413
Well, actually just one birthday flan.

148
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:06,253
- What?
- It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.

149
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,130
Look, talk to Monica.
She's on the food committee.

150
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:15,720
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

151
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:19,558
Joe, Joe, hey, some girl just walked up
to me and said, "I want you, Dennis"...

152
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,352
...and stuck her tongue down my throat.

153
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,354
I love this party.

154
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,107
- Quick volleyball question.
- Volleyball.

155
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,025
Yeah, we set up a court in your room.

156
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:32,028
Uh, you didn't like that gray lamp,
did you?

157
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,115
Joey, a woman just stuck her tongue
down my throat.

158
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,325
I'm not even listening to you.

159
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:40,954
GIRL: Dennis.
- Okay, that's me.

160
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,915
Listen, ahem, honey,
can you keep Dad occupied?

161
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,875
I'm gonna go talk to Mom for a while.

162
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:48,628
Okay, do you have any ideas
for any openers?

163
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:52,716
Uh, let's just stay clear of "I'm the guy
that's doing your daughter"...

164
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:54,968
...and you should be okay.

165
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,097
Okay, people, I want you
to take a piece of paper...

166
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:03,143
Here you go. And write down
your most embarrassing memory.

167
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,895
And I do ask that when
you're not using the markers...

168
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:08,106
...you put the caps back on them...

169
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,734
...because they will dry out.

170
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,069
Hi, Dr. Green.

171
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:17,324
So how's everything in the, uh...

172
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,910
...vascular surgery game?

173
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:25,665
It's not a game, Ross.
A woman died on my table today.

174
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,834
I'm sorry.

175
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,212
See, that's the good thing about my job.

176
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:35,383
All the dinosaurs on my table
are already dead.

177
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,472
Listen, you guys, um,
I don't mean to be a pain about this...

178
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,850
...but, um, I've noticed that some of you
are just placing them on.

179
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,977
You want to push the caps...

180
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,981
...until you hear them click.

181
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,693
Gunther. Where you going?

182
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,571
I, uh, was sort of thinking
about maybe...

183
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,866
No. No, you can't go. No, this is fun.

184
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:03,495
Come on, come on, we're just
getting started. Here's your marker.

185
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,832
Listen, if you want to go, just go.

186
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,752
No. She'll yell at me again.

187
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,755
[CLEARS THROAT]

188
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,840
All right, ahem, I can get you out.

189
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,467
What?

190
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:18,718
Shh.

191
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,429
In a minute,
I'm gonna create a diversion.

192
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:24,224
When I do, walk quickly to the door
and don't look back.

193
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:29,354
- I think I need a drink.
- Oh, I'll get it for you.

194
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,606
- What do you want?
- Scotch.

195
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:36,194
All right, I'll be back in 10 seconds
with your Scotch on the rocks in a glass.

196
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,737
Neat.

197
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,698
- Cool.
GREEN: No, no, no.

198
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,826
Neat, as in no rocks.

199
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:45,370
Heh. I know.

200
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,126
Oh, hello, Ross.
Now, where have you been?

201
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:55,380
Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom.

202
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:59,217
Ahem. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.

203
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:05,473
Oh. Scotch neat.

204
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,851
You know, that's Rachel's father's drink.

205
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,602
Oh. Huh.

206
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,355
Mine too. Isn't that neat?

207
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,315
Scotch neat.

208
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,192
[CHUCKLES]

209
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,571
Would you excuse me?

210
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,452
Hey. Hey.

211
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:28,371
Where are you sneaking off to, mister?
Heh.

212
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:30,957
I'm getting my cigarettes
out of my jacket.

213
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,001
- No.
- No. What do you mean "no"?

214
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,629
No, um, see,
because that's the staging area.

215
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:40,383
You go in there, it'll ruin
the whole illusion of the party.

216
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,553
Yeah, I think, you take your Scotch
back in there...

217
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:47,140
...and I will get your cigarettes
for you, sir.

218
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,602
- And get my glasses too.
- All righty-roo.

219
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,317
What a great moment to say that
for the first time.

220
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,991
Okay, the first person's
most embarrassing memory is:

221
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,619
"Monica, your party sucks."

222
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,121
All right. Very funny.

223
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,541
PHOEBE: Oh, no. Ooh.
Did someone forget to use a coaster?

224
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,251
MONICA:
What?

225
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,968
I don't see anything.

226
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:27,347
Great, I'm seeing water rings again.

227
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,602
Ross, whose glasses are those?

228
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:34,771
Mine.

229
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,857
You wear bifocals?

230
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,359
Mm-hm.

231
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,987
I have a condition apparently...

232
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,240
...that I require...

233
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,077
...two different sets of focals.

234
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,872
Do you know my husband
has glasses just like that?

235
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,209
- Oh.
- Well, those are very popular frames.

236
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,753
Neil Sedaka wears them.

237
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,384
I hear you can get people out of here.

238
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,887
- Rachel?
- Yeah?

239
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:11,140
You didn't tell me
your boyfriend smokes.

240
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,643
Yeah, like a chimney.

241
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,229
Big smoker.

242
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,148
Big, big smoker.

243
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:23,486
In fact, I'm gonna go out into the hallway
and fire up this bad boy.

244
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,877
Are you wearing my glasses?

245
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,796
Yes.

246
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,886
I was just warming up
the earpieces for you.

247
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,138
Thank you.

248
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,641
Is that one of my cigarettes?

249
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:00,273
Yeah.

250
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:04,777
Yes, it is. I was just moistening the tip.

251
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:10,033
Okay, okay. She's taking the trash out,
so I can get you out of here.

252
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,577
But it has to be now.
She'll be back any minute.

253
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,912
What about my friend Victor?

254
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,624
No, only the three of you. Any more
than that and she'll get suspicious.

255
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:20,460
- All right. Let me just get my coat.
- There isn't time.

256
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,464
Just leave everything.

257
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,091
They'll take care of you next door.

258
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,677
Is it true they have beer?

259
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,847
Everything you've heard is true.

260
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:36,351
Could you guys please
try and keep it down?

261
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:39,270
We're trying to start
a Boggle tournament.

262
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,564
[BOTH LAUGHING]

263
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,694
You. And you.

264
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:50,990
You're supposed to be at my party.
And Gunther.

265
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,080
What are you doing here?

266
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:58,790
Um...

267
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,877
Hey, welcome to the fo...

268
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:06,673
Phoebe?

269
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,759
All right, I'm sorry.
But these people needed me.

270
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,261
You know, they work hard all week.
It's Saturday night.

271
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,806
They deserve to have a little fun. Go.

272
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,725
You know, my party is fun.

273
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,645
I mean, maybe it's a little quieter,
less obvious sort of fun.

274
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:24,023
But, you know, if people
would just give it a chance, it's...

275
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:32,740
- You want me to see a therapist?
- Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem.

276
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:36,703
You've chosen a boyfriend
exactly like your father.

277
00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:39,789
Okay, Mom, you know what? Fine.
I'll make an appointment.

278
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:43,376
Okay? But you know what?
Right now, I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing.

279
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:48,381
Did you know your mother
spent $1200 on bonsai trees?

280
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,426
I felt like Gulliver around that place.

281
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,761
Daddy, Daddy,
I really want to hear more about this...

282
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:57,890
...I really do,
but I just have to do, uh, some stuff.

283
00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:01,144
You work and you work
and you work at a marriage...

284
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:03,730
...but all he cares about
is his stupid boat.

285
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:06,816
You work and you work
and you work on a boat.

286
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,902
He always ridiculed my pottery classes.

287
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:12,071
And you sand it and you varnish it.

288
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:15,908
But when all is said and done,
he still drinks out of the mugs.

289
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:19,203
One night of her yoga
and her Bridges of Madison County...

290
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,290
SANDRA: Scotch, cigarettes...
GREEN: Bonsais, the Chihuahua...

291
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,667
SANDRA: I've only been
in therapy three weeks now but...

292
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:27,336
GREEN: What the hell
does she want with half a boat?

293
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:34,886
Okay, okay, okay,
you can be shirts and I'll be skins.

294
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,680
I'll be skins.

295
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,850
[SIGHS]

296
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,561
Hey.

297
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,730
How you holding up there, tiger?

298
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:51,694
Oh. Sorry. When my parents were getting
divorced, I got a lot of "tigers."

299
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:56,074
Ahem. I got a lot of "champs,"
"chiefs," "sports."

300
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,034
Ahem. I even got a "governor."

301
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,453
[SIGHS]

302
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,915
This is it, isn't it?
I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like.

303
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,501
My mom there, my dad there.

304
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:09,128
Thanksgiving, Christmas.

305
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:14,008
She gets the house, he's in some condo
my sister's gonna decorate with wicker.

306
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,053
Chandler, how did you get through this?

307
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:21,557
Well, I relied on a carefully
regimented program...

308
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,935
...of denial...

309
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,729
...and wetting the bed.

310
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,859
You know, I just... It's so weird.

311
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:36,697
I mean, I was in there just listening
to them bitch about each other.

312
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:39,784
All I kept thinking about
was the Fourth of July.

313
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:43,371
Because it reminded you of the way...

314
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,873
...our forefathers used
to bitch at each other?

315
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:47,917
It's just this thing.

316
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:52,380
Every year we would go out
on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks.

317
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:57,051
Mom always hated it because
the ocean air made her hair all big.

318
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,513
My sister Jill would be
throwing up over the side...

319
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,224
...and my dad would be upset
because nobody was helping.

320
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:06,769
And then when we did help,
he would scream at us for doing it wrong.

321
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,313
[SIGHS]

322
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:14,193
But then when the fireworks started,
everybody just shut up.

323
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,946
You know, and it'd get really cold.

324
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:20,908
And we'd all just sort of
smoosh under this one blanket.

325
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:24,120
It never occurred to anybody
to bring another one.

326
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,874
And now it's...

327
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,587
Yeah, I know.

328
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,862
MONICA: Thanks for coming.
I hope you had fun.

329
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,198
All right, Monica, dear,
I'm gonna hit the road.

330
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,284
Now, I've left my 10 verbs on the table.

331
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,786
Yes, and you be sure and send me
that finished poem.

332
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,997
- Okay, will do. So glad you came.
- All right, dear.

333
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,625
- I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
- Okay, let me go check.

334
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,293
Oh, all right.

335
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,963
- Your mom wants to say goodbye.
- Oh, okay.

336
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,257
SANDRA:
Happy birthday, sweetie.

337
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,092
RACHEL:
Okay.

338
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,553
JOEY:
Uh, you drive safe.

339
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,681
RACHEL: Okay.
- What are you doing?

340
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,478
I'm getting ready for the water skiing.

341
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,939
Okay, big hug. One more. Come on.

342
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,443
How are you?

343
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,530
- Dr. Green. Where are you going?
- To get my coat.

344
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:43,366
No, no, no.
We'll get that for you.

345
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:46,369
All right, all right.
I can get my own coat.

346
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,247
[ALL SINGING]

347
00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:56,796
Sorry, we're on a major flan high.

348
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,260
Oh, no. No, you're not
supposed to be here.

349
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,846
This is the staging area.
It's all wrong. You should leave.

350
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,225
Ha, ha. You know, just get out.

351
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,812
[JOEY & ROSS & JOEY YELLING]

352
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,069
Or perhaps you'd like a crème de menthe.

353
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,739
I have to be heading toward my chateau.
Thank you.

354
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:26,867
All right, well, then I guess
we're going back into the hallway again.

355
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,995
Thanks for coming, Mrs. Green.

356
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,506
Okay.

357
00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:43,426
You take care.

358
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,723
Oh, you kids.

359
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:52,727
Well.

360
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:57,064
This is the best party
I've been to in years.

361
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,567
Thank you.

362
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:07,325
MONICA:
Okay, everybody, it's time for flan.

363
00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:11,078
CHANDLER:
Yep. Get ready for the gelatinous fun.

364
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,790
JOEY: Kind of looks like that stuff you get
when you get a bad infection.

365
00:22:14,958 --> 00:22:17,209
MONICA:
Okay, that's enough.

366
00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:20,463
PHOEBE: Okay, Rachel,
make a special flan wish.

367
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:23,424
RACHEL:
Okay, I've got one.

368
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,219
[GROUP CHEERING]

369
00:22:27,387 --> 00:22:28,971
MAN:
Heads up.

370
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:34,060
RACHEL:
Wow. Those things almost never come true.

371
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,111
[English - US - SDH]