1
00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:03,919
MONICA: Tell him. Please tell him.
- Tell him.

2
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,380
- Shut up.
- Tell me what?

3
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,882
MONICA: You won't even look at him.
- Oh, come on, tell me.

4
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,094
I could use another reason
why women won't look at me.

5
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,762
All right, all right, all right.

6
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,806
Last night, I had a dream...

7
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:19,476
...that, um, you and I were, uh...

8
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,520
Doing it on this table.

9
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:26,608
- Wow.
- Excellent dream score.

10
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:32,114
Why...? Why would you dream that?

11
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:36,535
More importantly, was I any good?

12
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,664
Well, you were pretty damned good.
Ha, ha.

13
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:44,293
Interesting, because in my dreams,
I'm surprisingly inadequate.

14
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:50,049
Well, last night, you seemed to know
your way around the table.

15
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,343
[ROSS CHUCKLES]

16
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,846
I love it when we share.

17
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,934
CHANDLER:
You okay there?

18
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:03,312
I can't believe you two had sex
in her dream.

19
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,857
I'm sorry. It was a one-time thing.

20
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:10,527
I was very drunk,
and it was someone else's subconscious.

21
00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,412
- Hello, Rachel.
- Ugh.

22
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,540
Get off.

23
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:09,920
Ooh. Oh, give me.
Can you see me operating a drill press?

24
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,590
I don't know. What are you wearing?

25
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:19,888
Pheebs, why would you want
to operate a drill press?

26
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,431
Just for some short-term work.

27
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:24,017
You know, till I get back
some of my massage clients.

28
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,103
Pirates again?

29
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,814
No. Nothing like that.

30
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,275
I'm just such a dummy.

31
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,153
I taught this
"Massage Yourself at Home" workshop.

32
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,280
And they are.

33
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,159
Hey, hey, Chan, she could work for you.

34
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,995
Thanks, Joey. That's a good idea.

35
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,206
What? I could. I could do it. What is it?

36
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,041
Well, my secretary's gonna be out.

37
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,335
She's having one of her boobs reduced.

38
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,506
It's a whole big boob story.

39
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,924
I could be a secretary.

40
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,635
Well, I don't know
if it's your kind of thing...

41
00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:01,555
...because, uh,
it involves a lot of being normal...

42
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,391
...ahem, for a large portion of the day.

43
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,685
I could do that.

44
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:07,936
[BEEPER BEEPING]

45
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,230
- What are you playing with?
- It's my new beeper.

46
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,900
Why the hell does a paleontologist
need a beeper for?

47
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:17,029
Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies?
"Help, come quick! They're still extinct!"

48
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:18,405
[CHANDLER LAUGHS]

49
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:22,075
No, it's for when Carol goes into labor.
She can get me wherever I am.

50
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:25,954
All she has to do is dial 55-JIMBO.

51
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,374
A cool phone number
and a possible name for the kid.

52
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,128
- I'll see you guys later.
- Off to see young Ethan?

53
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,214
Thank you.

54
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:39,218
How young is young Ethan? Young?

55
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,762
He's our age.

56
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,014
When we were?

57
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,686
- Okay, he's a senior in college.
- College?

58
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,396
JOEY: Ooh.
- Whoa.

59
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,816
And this man-child has no problem
with how old you are?

60
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,318
No, of course not.

61
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,320
It's not even an issue...

62
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,405
...because I told him I was 22.

63
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,865
- What?
- What?

64
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:05,744
- Oh, I can't pass for 22?
- Well, maybe 25, 26.

65
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,538
- I am 26.
- There you go.

66
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,213
[PHONE RINGING]

67
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,095
Can you hear that?

68
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,347
Yeah. Ha, ha.

69
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,101
That'll stop when you pick up the phone.

70
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,061
Oh. Ha, ha.

71
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:35,065
- Okay. Ooh, I'm on.
- Okay.

72
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,443
[IN MELLOW VOICE]
Mr. Bing's office.

73
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,447
No, I'm sorry,
he's in a meeting right now.

74
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,324
I'm not in a meeting. I'm right...

75
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,160
Will he know what this is in reference to?

76
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,996
And he has your number?

77
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,957
All right, I'll see that he gets the message.
Bye-bye.

78
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,420
- What?
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Ross says hi.

79
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:57,879
Ah.

80
00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:00,674
This is so fun.
All right, what do we do now?

81
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,885
Well, now I actually have to get to work.

82
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,721
"Most likely."

83
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,681
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

84
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,977
- Okay, I'm gonna be out there.
- Okay.

85
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,981
- All right. Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

86
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,735
[INTERCOM BUZZES]

87
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,571
Yes?

88
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,448
PHOEBE [OVER INTERCOM]:
What you doing?

89
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,996
Okay, windows are clean,
candles are lit.

90
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,332
Ooh, belt's too tight. Gotta change the belt.

91
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,626
Did I turn the fish?
Nope, because I made lasagna.

92
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:41,965
- Am I out of control?
- Just a touch.

93
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,258
Mon, I don't understand.

94
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:47,346
I mean, you've been dating this guy since,
like, his midterms.

95
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:51,391
I mean,
why all of a sudden are you so?

96
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:55,145
Oh.

97
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,980
What?

98
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,941
Could tonight be the night?

99
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,694
I don't know.

100
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:08,200
Look, he's a great guy,
and I love being with him, but, you know...

101
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,951
...things happen when they happen.

102
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,620
You don't plan these things.

103
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,291
- Oh. So did you shave your legs?
- Yeah.

104
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,709
Uh-huh.

105
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,507
Would you let it go, Ross?
It was just a dream.

106
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,800
It doesn't mean...

107
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:26,009
[BEEPER BEEPING]

108
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:29,721
Oh, oh, oh. Oh, this is it. Oh, my God.
It's baby time. Baby time.

109
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:33,266
All right, relax, relax, just relax, just relax.
Be cool.

110
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,812
Yeah, hi, I was just beeped.

111
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:42,901
No, Andre is not here. Third time today.

112
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,153
Yes, I am sure.

113
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:49,324
Heh. No, sir, I do not perform
those kind of services.

114
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:53,078
Services? Oh, services.

115
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,373
Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO.

116
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,043
Yeah.

117
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,753
That's right.

118
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,006
That's right. "JUMBO" with a U, sir.

119
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,758
Heh. No, you don't want me.

120
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,387
Judging by his number,
I'd be a huge disappointment.

121
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,682
Yeah. Alrighty, bye-bye.

122
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:15,350
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

123
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,146
JOEY: Hey, hey. How was the first day?
- Hey. Oh.

124
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:22,858
Excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.

125
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:25,527
See? It pays to know the man
who wears my shoes.

126
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,488
- Me.
- Ah.

127
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,284
- I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.
- Why not?

128
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,536
Well, because, you know.

129
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,997
They don't like you.

130
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,586
- What?
- I thought you knew that.

131
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,087
Nah-uh.

132
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:48,675
- Who doesn't like me?
- Everyone.

133
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,552
Except for, um...

134
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,721
No. Everyone.

135
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:58,101
- What are you talking about?
- Don't feel bad.

136
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,729
You know, they used to like you a lot.

137
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,483
But then you got promoted,
and now you're all, like, Mr. Boss-Man.

138
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,277
You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing.
Boss-Man Bing.

139
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,446
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

140
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:13,575
- I can't believe it.
- Yeah, yeah. They even do you.

141
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,120
- They do me?
- Yeah.

142
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,581
You know, like, um, okay:

143
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,374
"Could that report be any later?"

144
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,543
[JOEY & ROSS LAUGHING]

145
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:28,924
I don't sound like that.

146
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,260
- Oh, oh. Chandler.
- Oh. Yeah, you do.

147
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,555
"The hills are alive with the sound...

148
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,599
...of music."

149
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,064
"My scone!"

150
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,857
ROSS, JOEY & PHOEBE:
"My scone!"

151
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,442
[ALL LAUGHING]

152
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,612
Okay, I don't sound like that.
That is so not true.

153
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,280
[BOTH LAUGHING]

154
00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:56,493
That is so not... That is so not... That...

155
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,119
Oh, shut up.

156
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,457
Ha, ha. You did not.

157
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,584
I am telling you, up until I was 9...

158
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:07,587
...I thought gunpoint was an actual place
where crimes happened.

159
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:11,424
- Ha, ha. How is that possible?
- Think about it. It's always on the news.

160
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:14,261
"A man is being held up at Gunpoint."

161
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,805
"Tourists are being terrorized
at Gunpoint."

162
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:20,475
And I just kept thinking,
"Why do people continue to go there?"

163
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,897
Oh, ah.

164
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,776
- I should go.
- Okay.

165
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,908
Okay.

166
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,285
- Unless...
- What?

167
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,539
Uh, unless you wanna stay over.

168
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,499
I mean, I'm going to. So...

169
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,167
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

170
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,337
Yeah, I'd really like that.

171
00:09:55,469 --> 00:10:01,016
Uh, before we get into
any staying-over stuff...

172
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,476
...there's something you should know.

173
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,146
Okay. Is this like
"I have an early class tomorrow"...

174
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,899
...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"?

175
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,862
Well, it's somewhere in between.

176
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:18,325
You see, in a strictly technical sense,
of course, I'm not, uh...

177
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:21,453
Well, I mean, I haven't ever, um...

178
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,413
- Ethan?
- Yeah?

179
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,873
Are you a virgin?

180
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,835
Well, if that's what you kids
are calling it these days...

181
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,629
...then yes, I am.

182
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:37,052
I, uh... I've kind of been waiting
for the right person.

183
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,222
- Really?
- Yeah.

184
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,934
You do know
I was talking about you, right?

185
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,278
Wow.

186
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,906
You keep saying that.

187
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,951
You know, you read about it.
You see it in the movies.

188
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,955
Even when you practice it at home,
man, oh, man...

189
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,917
...it is nothing like that.

190
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,126
Oh.

191
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,836
[ETHAN MOANING]

192
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,047
Listen, listen.

193
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:19,552
Um, you told me something
that was really difficult for you.

194
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:23,932
And, um, well, I figure if you can be honest,
then I can too.

195
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,769
- Oh, God, don't tell me I did it wrong.
- No.

196
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,479
- No, no, no.
- Oh.

197
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,732
- Nothing wrong about that.
- Oh. Ha, ha.

198
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:37,070
Um, okay. Here goes.

199
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:40,407
I'm not 22.

200
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,243
I'm 25.

201
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,662
And 13 months.

202
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,790
Huh.

203
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,126
But I figure, you know,
that shouldn't change anything.

204
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:54,796
I mean, what the hell does it matter
how old we are?

205
00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,134
Listen, um...

206
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,469
...as long as we're telling stuff, uh...

207
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,974
...I have another one for you.

208
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,852
I'm a little younger than I said.

209
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,605
You're not a senior?

210
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:15,024
Oh, I'm a senior.

211
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,696
In high school.

212
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,830
Okay.

213
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,043
What we did was wrong.

214
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:38,965
Oh, God. I just had sex with someone
who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.

215
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,094
I just had sex.

216
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,516
Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?

217
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:51,352
- You never told me how old you were.
- That's different.

218
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,856
My lie didn't make one of us a felon
in 48 states.

219
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,527
- What were you thinking?
- I wasn't thinking. I was busy falling...

220
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,780
- Don't say it.
...in love with you.

221
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,783
Really?

222
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,951
Sorry.

223
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,162
Well, fall out of it.

224
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,749
You know, you shouldn't even be here.
It's a school night.

225
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,669
Oh, God. Oh, God.

226
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:22,091
I'm like those women that you see
with shiny guys named Chad.

227
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,055
I'm Joan Collins.

228
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,518
Who?

229
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:43,321
Okay, Andre should be there
in about 45 minutes.

230
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,699
Alrighty. Bye-bye.

231
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,620
Ahem. It's just easier that way.

232
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,791
Oh, come on.
You told me about the last dream.

233
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,751
No. Forget it.

234
00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,755
Well, why not?
Was I doing something particularly saucy?

235
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,135
All right, fine. Um...

236
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,263
Well, you were not the only one there.

237
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,891
Joey was there too.

238
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:14,936
All right.

239
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,565
Was there, uh, heh...

240
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,903
...anybody else there?

241
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,155
- No.
- You sure?

242
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:30,618
Nobody, uh, handing out mints
or anything?

243
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,955
No, it was just the three of us.

244
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:35,748
Oh.

245
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,836
So tell me, was it like you and Chandler
and then you and me...

246
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,379
...or you and me and Chandler?

247
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:43,673
[CHUCKLES]

248
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,467
- You know what?
- What?

249
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,636
There were times...

250
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,055
...when it wasn't even me.

251
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,142
[BOTH CHUCKLING]

252
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,485
That is so sweet, you guys.

253
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,699
ROSS: Hey, Mon.
RACHEL: Mon.

254
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,326
Mon, Ethan called again.

255
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,122
Mon?

256
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,041
ALL:
Mon!

257
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,336
- What?
- Ethan called again.

258
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:22,670
Oh.

259
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,924
- You're not seeing him anymore?
- No.

260
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,468
You know,
sometimes just things don't work out.

261
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:32,847
And this has nothing to do with the fact
that he needs a note to get out of gym?

262
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:40,104
I didn't say any...
I did not say anything, I swear.

263
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,606
He stopped by.

264
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,191
JOEY:
Next time you talk to him...

265
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:47,362
...could you ask him which one
the strongest Power Ranger is?

266
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,364
[MONICA LAUGHING]

267
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:53,326
Oh, my life is just so amusing. Heh, heh.
Can we drop it now?

268
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,744
Sorry. Sorry.

269
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,871
It's morphing time.

270
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,581
- Stegosaurus!
- Tyrannosaurus!

271
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,792
[GUYS YELLING]

272
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,338
Ooh. Oh, I gotta go.

273
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,715
Whoa. Ooh, head rush. Oh.

274
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,178
One more and then I have to go.

275
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,554
Cool. Ha, ha.

276
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,018
Where you going?

277
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,729
Oh, I got a birthday party
with some work people.

278
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,606
Work people?

279
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,442
- Nobody told me.
- No, I know.

280
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:30,697
That's part of the whole, you know,
them-not-liking-you extravaganza.

281
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:36,119
Know what? I don't get this.
A month ago, these people were my friends.

282
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:39,247
Just because I'm in charge,
doesn't mean I'm a different person.

283
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:42,250
Well, then you should come tonight,
just hang out with them.

284
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,419
Let them see
what a great guy you still are.

285
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,671
- You think I should?
- I really do, yeah.

286
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,715
- Okay. Okay.
PHOEBE: Okay.

287
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,466
Oh, but, um, could we not go together?

288
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,596
I don't wanna be the geek
who invited the boss, you know?

289
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,393
CHANDLER:
I think last night was great.

290
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,104
You know, the karaoke thing?
Tracy and I doing "Ebony and lvory"?

291
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,355
- Mm-hm.
- Ha, ha.

292
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,316
You were great.
But they still made fun of you.

293
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,862
- What?
- Now you're more like Mr. Caring-Boss.

294
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,530
Mr. "I'm-One-of-You"-Boss.

295
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,533
Mr. "I-Wanna-Be-Your-Buddy"-
Boss-Man-Bing.

296
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,703
Then I don't get it.

297
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:23,207
Well, you know what, Chandler?
I think you just gotta face it.

298
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,835
You're, like, the guy in the big office,
you know?

299
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,963
You're the one that hires them
and fires them.

300
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,841
- They still say you're a great boss.
- They do?

301
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,092
Uh-huh.

302
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,511
But they're not your friends anymore.

303
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,555
- But I just want to...
- No, but you can't.

304
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,891
- But I just want...
- Ah-ah.

305
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,524
[BEEPER BEEPING]

306
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,778
Aren't you gonna...?

307
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,529
Oh, Carol and I have a new system.

308
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:57,450
If she punches in "911,"
it means she's having a baby.

309
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,870
- Otherwise, I just ignore it.
- What about Andre?

310
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:04,123
This morning he got a call
from what I think was our cousin Nathan.

311
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:07,043
And frankly,
it was a little more than I needed to know.

312
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,134
Hey.

313
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,220
That was gonna be my opener.

314
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:22,475
Hey, did you guys check out
those new hand dryers in the bathroom?

315
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,394
- I thought that was just a rumor.
RACHEL: True story.

316
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,359
All right, look, I gotta tell you something.

317
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,610
I'm not 17.

318
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,446
I only said that
so you'd think I was cute and vulnerable.

319
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:36,864
I'm actually 30.

320
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,451
I have a wife. I have a job.
I'm your congressman.

321
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:44,038
Monica, this is ridiculous.
We are great together.

322
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:47,792
We can talk, we make each other laugh.
And the sex. Oh, man.

323
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,295
Okay, I have no frame of reference,
but I thought that was great.

324
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,340
- It was.
- Then what's the problem?

325
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,011
Ethan, it's, um...

326
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,056
It's icky.

327
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,725
Icky?

328
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:08,479
You're actually gonna throw this away
because it's icky?

329
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,816
Look, this isn't easy for me either.

330
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,568
I wish things were different.

331
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:16,571
If you were a few years older
or I was a few years younger...

332
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:19,323
...or we lived in biblical times...

333
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,869
...I could really...
- No, don't say it.

334
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,245
- Love you.

335
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,960
- Are your hands still wet?
- They're moist.

336
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,254
- Yeah, right? Ahem.
- Let's dry them again.

337
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,722
Or, like, "Could these margaritas
be any stronger?"

338
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,643
- Hey, Chandler.
- Hello, Mr. Bing.

339
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,271
Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.

340
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:55,359
Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers,
I'm gonna need them on my desk...

341
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,153
...by 9:00.

342
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,989
SANTOS: Sure.
- No problem.

343
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,410
You have to give them something,
you know?

344
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,830
Okay, that was Gerston, Santos,
and who's the guy with the mustache?

345
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,999
- Petrie.
- Petrie. Right, right, okay.

346
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,877
Well, some people
are gonna be working...

347
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,086
...this weekend.

348
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,220
[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

349
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,197
[MOANING]

350
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,160
RACHEL:
Oh, that's nice.

351
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,289
[MOANING]

352
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,876
Ross.

353
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,304
- Ross?
- I'm here.

354
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,724
You are?

355
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:12,895
Uh... Ahem.

356
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:16,399
[STAMMERS]
We were just...

357
00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:18,025
- Wow.
- What?

358
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:20,194
[BEEPER BEEPING]

359
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,614
Heh. Great. Now I'm having a baby.

360
00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,325
- What?
- Oh!

361
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,411
- No. I'm having... I'm having a baby!
- Oh. Oh!

362
00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:29,912
- Oh, my God.
- I'm having a...!

363
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,957
- The phone, the phone!
- The phone. I don't have the phone. Aah!

364
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,796
- Ross?
- I'm hurt.

365
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,178
Monica, let's go.
Come on, now, people. Woman in labor.

366
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:50,099
- Hey, Ross, look what I got going here.
- Yeah, save it for the cab, okay?

367
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:53,185
What are you doing?
We're going to a hospital.

368
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:56,564
What, so I can't look nice?
There might be doctors there.

369
00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:00,109
- Joey, get out of the fridge.
JOEY: All right, all right.

370
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,695
- What is that?
- For the ride.

371
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,530
- Yeah, like in a cab you...
- Save it.

372
00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:07,992
- Okay, hating this.
- Monica, come on, now. Let's go.

373
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,201
Baby coming. God.

374
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,495
[CRYING]
I can't believe it. I'm gonna be an aunt.

375
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,581
- Oh, that's...
- I'm gonna have a nephew.

376
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:15,458
Oh, that's nice. Get out.

377
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,710
- Come on.
- Let's go, come on.

378
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:18,919
RACHEL:
Okay. Okay.

379
00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:21,339
JOEY:
All right, all right, I'm going, I'm going.

380
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,723
- Here we go. Here we go.
- Rossy. Rossy.

381
00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,933
[ALL CHATTERING]