1
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,503
JOEY: All right, they got water,
orange juice...

2
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,256
...and what looks like cider.

3
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:08,799
Taste it.

4
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:14,930
Yeah, it's fat.

5
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,473
I drank fat!

6
00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,269
I know, I did that two minutes ago.

7
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:23,939
Hey.

8
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,607
Hey, Mr. Tux.

9
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,444
- Why aren't you dressed?
- We have a half-hour.

10
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,822
That was four minutes ago.
We have to be out the door at 20 to 8.

11
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:35,576
Relax, we'll be ready. It takes us
two minutes to get dressed.

12
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,995
I'd feel better if you
got dressed now.

13
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,913
- Okay.
- Okay.

14
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:43,709
Hey!

15
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,794
Oh, look at you, all sexy.

16
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,087
Really?

17
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,007
Wow!

18
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,051
- Hi.
- Hi.

19
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:57,181
- How come you didn't come over earlier?
- Because I'm a stupid, stupid man.

20
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,476
Hey, Ross, want some cider?

21
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,769
No.

22
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,897
So you're pretty close, huh?

23
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,940
Makeup's on. Hair's done.

24
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,567
I just have to get dressed.

25
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,612
And that takes, what?
Just 6 or 7 minutes?

26
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:14,239
Yeah. Once I figure out
what I'm wearing.

27
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,202
Glass of fat?

28
00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,164
The One Where No One's Ready

29
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:11,046
What's the matter?
You nervous about your speech?

30
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,673
Nope.

31
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,135
- You wanna hear it?
- Am I in it?

32
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,221
Uh-huh.

33
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,976
After I thank everyone
for donating to the museum...

34
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,979
...I sing a song about the wonder
that is Joey.

35
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:29,857
- Hello.
ROSS: Hey.

36
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:31,066
JOEY:
Whoa!

37
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,693
ROSS:
Hello! You look great!

38
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,070
Thank you. I know, though.

39
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:40,534
You see this? This is a person
who is ready to go.

40
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:41,952
Phoebe, you...

41
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:43,579
You are my star.

42
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,915
Aw. Well, you're my lucky penny.

43
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:55,007
All right, I took the quiz, and it
turns out I do put career before men.

44
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:58,802
Get up.

45
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,262
What?

46
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,223
- You're in my seat.
- How is this your seat?

47
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,936
I was sitting there.

48
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,605
But then you left.

49
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,733
Well, it's not like I went to Spain.

50
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,903
I went to the bathroom.
You knew I'd be back.

51
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,946
What's the big deal?
Sit somewhere else!

52
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,700
The "big deal" is, I was sitting
there last! So...

53
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,243
...it's my seat.

54
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:27,956
Well, actually, the last place
you were sitting was in there, so...

55
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,001
You guys, you know what?
It doesn't matter.

56
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:35,797
You both have to go get dressed before
the big vein in my head pops.

57
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,800
I just have to do one thing.
It's not a big deal.

58
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,219
Get up!

59
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,055
- Hi.
PHOEBE: Hey.

60
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,515
Ooh. Phoebe, you look great!

61
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,976
All right already.

62
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,771
Ooh. Are you gonna do magic?

63
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,067
That's funny. Change.

64
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,152
- Hang on, I just got in.
- I don't care.

65
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,238
It starts at 8.
We can't be late.

66
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,324
"He could not, would not,
want to wait."

67
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,827
Our table is down in front.
My boss will be there.

68
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,455
Everyone will see if we arrive
after it starts.

69
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,666
Has somebody been drinking my fat?

70
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:16,004
Does this look like something a
paleontologist's girlfriend would wear?

71
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,840
I don't know.
You might be the first one.

72
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,344
- Rach, did you check the machine?
RACHEL: No.

73
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:26,682
Wait. This is the outfit that makes
my calves look fat. Never mind.

74
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,438
Well, Joey, I wrote
a little song today.

75
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,190
It's called, "Get up!"

76
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:39,111
All right. You can have the chair.

77
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,531
- Really?
- Oh, my. Would you look at that?

78
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,116
[LAUGHING]

79
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,368
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

80
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,161
PHOEBE [ON RECORDING]:
I'm coming over.

81
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,998
What if I'm already there
when you play this message?

82
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,125
Is that too spooky?

83
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,002
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

84
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,671
ROSS: Hi, Rach, are you there?
It's me. Pick up.

85
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,881
Rachel? Rach?

86
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,633
What?

87
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,177
Never mind.

88
00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:06,388
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS TWICE]

89
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,057
RICHARD:
Monica, it's Richard. Call me.

90
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,229
Is that message old or new?

91
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,357
Old or new? Old or new?

92
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,402
It's definitely old.
Didn't you hear the double beep?

93
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,071
What if it's new?
We agreed not to talk.

94
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:26,074
It could be important.
Shouldn't I call him back?

95
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,702
Honey, you did call him back.
It's old.

96
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,996
Yeah, see, Mon, listen. Listen.

97
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:33,332
When Carol and I broke up...

98
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,626
...I went through the same thing.
You know what I did?

99
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,837
I got dressed.

100
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,343
Really, really quickly, okay? Okay?

101
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,595
There we go. There we go.

102
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,765
You know what? Don't get up.
Just sit there.

103
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:53,101
I just hope you don't mind
my hand right here.

104
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:57,731
Not touching. Can't get mad!
Not touching. Can't get mad!

105
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,108
Not touching. Can't get mad!

106
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,736
PHOEBE:
Oh! Oh, my God!

107
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,613
You rotten boys!

108
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,033
- Sorry, Phoebe.
- What am I gonna do?

109
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,118
Don't rub it!
What gets out hummus?

110
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,037
What gets out hummus?

111
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,581
PHOEBE: Monica!
What gets out hummus?

112
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,960
If it is a new message,
what is he calling to say?

113
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,047
Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that.

114
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,801
Maybe he called to say
you're obsessive and crazy?

115
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,303
- So should I call him back?
- [IN UNISON] No!

116
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,722
[IN UNISON]
No!

117
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,811
- Fine, we'll both sit in the chair.
- Fine with me.

118
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:42,067
I am so comfortable.

119
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,319
JOEY:
Me too.

120
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:48,198
In fact, I think I might be
a little too comfortable.

121
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,914
Okay, we have 19 minutes.
I want you to go and change.

122
00:06:56,165 --> 00:07:00,335
When you come back, Joey will go change,
and he'll have vacated the chair.

123
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:01,837
- Okay.
- All right.

124
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,630
Fine. I'm going.

125
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,426
When I get back, it's Chair City.
And I'm the guy...

126
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,344
...who's sitting in a chair!

127
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:12,806
Is this a little too...?

128
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,016
Pheebs? What happened?

129
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,518
I got the hummus.

130
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,772
Oh, honey, we'll find you something.
You wanna wear my black jacket?

131
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,191
- It won't go with this dress.
- You're right.

132
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,821
- Well, let's just get you out of that.
- No, no, no. Not out of that.

133
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,949
- Not out of clothes.
- Can Phoebe borrow your green dress?

134
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,159
I called him.

135
00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:33,452
[ALL GROAN]

136
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,746
Yes. I got his machine
and I left a message.

137
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,457
But it's okay. It's okay...

138
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,877
...because it was, like,
a casual, breezy message.

139
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,170
It was breezy.

140
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,964
Oh, God, what if it wasn't breezy?

141
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:50,552
How could it not be breezy? No,
because you're in such a breezy place.

142
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:55,515
I got it. I'll play my message, and
you guys tell me if it's breezy enough.

143
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,809
But how you gonna do that?

144
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,896
I know the code
to his answering machine.

145
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,690
Okay, Mon, I really don't think
this is the...

146
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,651
Okay, you're dialing.
You are dialing.

147
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,539
RICHARD: Hi, this is Richard.
Please leave a message at the tone.

148
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,708
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

149
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,585
RECORDED VOICE:
You have two new messages.

150
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,420
What a cool job.

151
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,672
[AS RECORDED VOICE]
"You have two new messages."

152
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,843
Please pass the pie.

153
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,012
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

154
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,806
MONICA: Hi, it's Monica.
I'm just checking in.

155
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,268
I got a message and didn't know
if it was old or new...

156
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,521
...so I'm just checking.

157
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,356
So let me know.

158
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,941
Or don't. Whatever.

159
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,776
I'm breezy!

160
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,614
You can't say you're "breezy."
That negates the "breezy."

161
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,741
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

162
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,869
WOMAN: Hola. It's me.
Yesterday was really fun.

163
00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,830
Call me about this weekend, okay?

164
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:05,752
Now, she sounded breezy.

165
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:13,134
He's seeing someone.
I can't believe he's seeing someone.

166
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,971
- You don't know that.
- Well, whose voice was that?

167
00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:19,140
Maybe it was his sister's.
Maybe it was his daughter's.

168
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:23,812
Michelle. Of course!
Did it sound like Michelle?

169
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,483
Oh, great. It's starting to rain.
That'll make it easier to get a cab.

170
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:30,485
It was Michelle.

171
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,404
It was definitely Michelle.

172
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,825
Try Monica's green dress. If it
doesn't fit, wear my gray silk one.

173
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,661
- Unless I wear it.
- You don't know what you're wearing?

174
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,497
I'm just trying to look nice
for your big night.

175
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,375
Yeah, which we have to leave for
in 12 minutes.

176
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,378
Come on, I'll just pick
something out for you.

177
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,880
You'll notice that I'm fully dressed.

178
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,509
I, in turn, have noticed
that you are not.

179
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:59,556
So in the words of A.A. Milne,
"Get out of my chair, dill-hole."

180
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,393
Okay.

181
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,695
- What are you doing?
- You said to give you the chair.

182
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,031
You didn't say anything about cushions.

183
00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:17,907
They're the essence
of the chair!

184
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,785
That's right! I'm taking the essence.

185
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,705
Oh, he'll be back.

186
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:26,374
Oh, there's nobody in the room.

187
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:30,670
- I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.
- That was a Halloween costume.

188
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,215
Unless you would like me to go
as Little Bo Peep.

189
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:37,385
I didn't recognize it
without that inflatable sheep.

190
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:41,431
Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler,
I would like back one of these days.

191
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,728
Rach, good! Listen, isn't this
perfect for me?

192
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,272
Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight.

193
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:52,901
Of course not for tonight.
Hi. I'm going to a benefit.

194
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,236
Not for tonight?
What are you doing?

195
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,782
No, I'm sorry. We didn't mean it.
I love you. Breathe.

196
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,203
We used them as pillows
when we went camping.

197
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,412
What?

198
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,581
The sheep.

199
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,794
Hey, what you do on your own time...

200
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,925
- Where's my underwear?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

201
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,595
- Come on, you took his underwear?
- He took my essence!

202
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:25,642
Okay, hold on. Why can't you just wear
the underwear you're wearing now?

203
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,520
Because I'm not wearing
any underwear now.

204
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,107
Then why do you have
to wear underwear tonight?

205
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,109
It's a rented tux, okay?

206
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,654
I'm not gonna go "commando"
in another man's fatigues.

207
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:43,451
Then somebody's gonna have
to give somebody back his cushions.

208
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:48,456
Okay. You hide my clothes. I'm gonna
do the exact opposite to you.

209
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,625
[SCOFFS]

210
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,878
What, are you gonna show me my clothes?

211
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,547
Hey, opposite...

212
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,799
...is opposite.

213
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,261
He's got nothing!

214
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,680
Okay, I'm ready.

215
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,056
[STAMMERING]

216
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,147
Rachel didn't have anything I liked
but this ribbon.

217
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,816
I thought, all right,
I'll be political.

218
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,654
- What are you supporting?
- Christmas.

219
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:26,161
Hey, that's okay with me. Two down,
and I have exactly 12 minutes...

220
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,662
What?

221
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,291
My watch stopped.
My watch. Okay, see...

222
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,335
...the dinosaur tail
isn't going around anymore.

223
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,589
What time is it? It's 7:33.
I have 7 minutes.

224
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,007
I have seven minutes!

225
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,177
Which shoes should I wear?
The black or the purple?

226
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,888
- Just pick one, okay?
- Oh, okay, okay. The black.

227
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,390
Do you have black
with little strappies?

228
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:51,686
Yeah, but those go better with pants.
Maybe I should wear pants.

229
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:56,816
Yeah, pants! What an idea!
Or better yet, go without pants.

230
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,111
I don't know what you're doing
but just get in there...

231
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,864
...and pick out any shoes
that fit your feet.

232
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,534
I don't care if they match.
I don't care if they make...

233
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:11,372
...your ankles or your knees or your
earlobes look fat. Just do it!

234
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,250
Go in there, pick something out
so we can go.

235
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,547
- All right.
- Thank you.

236
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:24,093
I've got to call Michelle to see
if that was her voice.

237
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,221
It was. It was her voice.

238
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,557
Monica, I think you've gone over
to the bad place.

239
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,396
MICHELLE:
Hola.

240
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:38,066
Hello? Hello?

241
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,487
- Okay. That was her, right?
- Definitely. Yeah.

242
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,572
So there you go. Whew!

243
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,076
We're out of the woods.
I think I'll get dressed now.

244
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,452
[PHONE RINGS]

245
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,412
- I'll get it.
MONICA: Okay.

246
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,123
Hi, Monica and Rachel's.

247
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,669
Yeah, just a second.
Can I ask who's calling?

248
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,254
Ooh! It's Michelle! Ooh!

249
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,426
She must have that "caller I.D." thing.
You should get that.

250
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,472
Michelle?

251
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:13,935
Yeah, that was me.
I dialed your number by mistake.

252
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,311
Just try to be...

253
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:18,773
You're so sweet.

254
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,484
Yeah, we were a great couple.

255
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,695
I know, I really miss him.

256
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,906
Well, you know how it is.
It's just that...

257
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,783
You know what's weird?

258
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,787
Donald Duck never wore pants.

259
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,124
But when he gets
out of the shower...

260
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,960
...he always puts a towel
around his waist.

261
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,923
I mean, what is that about?

262
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,428
I only beeped in so I could
hear my own message.

263
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,971
I mean, that's allowed.

264
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,472
Yeah!

265
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:57,061
I would really appreciate it if you
wouldn't tell your dad about...

266
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,481
What do you mean, you don't feel
comfortable with this? We're friends!

267
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,233
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]

268
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,861
That bitch always hated me.

269
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,573
- I'm calling her back.
- No, no, no! Tick, tick, tick.

270
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,491
- Okay, fine.
- Okay.

271
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:15,163
- She's got a phone in there, right?
- Okay, we're on it.

272
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,007
Um, heh, heh...

273
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:29,844
I know it says, "black tie optional"...

274
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,764
...but this may be pushing it a little.

275
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,849
I'm not gonna go.

276
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,227
You're not gonna go?

277
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,190
No, I think I'm gonna catch up
on my correspondence.

278
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,527
How can you not be going?

279
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,529
I'm not gonna go.

280
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,533
So I think that will accomplish
the "not going."

281
00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,749
Um, you know, just out of curiosity...

282
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:03,503
Ever since I was humiliated
and yelled at in front of my friends...

283
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:08,132
...I'm just, I don't know, not in a
very museum benefit-y kind of mood.

284
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:12,387
Right. Well, okay. Okay.
God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled.

285
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,806
- That's fine.
- No, but you're mad.

286
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,016
I'm not mad. I'm just not going.

287
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,726
- Right.
- Okay.

288
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,064
- You know that I have to go, right?
- Mm-hm.

289
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:27,777
So is it gonna be like
I'm abandoning you while you're upset?

290
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:28,987
- No.
- No?

291
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:33,241
- You're not upset about the yelling.
- Right. And the humiliating.

292
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,576
Well, of course, the humiliating.

293
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,663
So we...

294
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,415
...we're okay?

295
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,625
- We're good.
- Right.

296
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,256
- Honey? I love you.
- Yes, Ross.

297
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,467
PHOEBE:
Get away from that phone!

298
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,180
She's just getting dressed now.

299
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,645
Is it wrong that I was
totally aroused by that?

300
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,114
Okay, buddy boy, here it is.

301
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:17,326
You hide my clothes.
I'm wearing everything you own.

302
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,454
Oh, my God!

303
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,792
That is so not the opposite
of taking somebody's underwear!

304
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,627
Look at me! I'm Chandler.

305
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,797
Could I be wearing any more clothes?

306
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,676
Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

307
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,345
[GROANS]

308
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,100
It's hot with all this stuff on.

309
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,895
I better not do any,
I don't know, lunges.

310
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,983
Okay, enough.
Enough with the lunging.

311
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,861
I'm sick of this.
I've had it up to here.

312
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,614
Neither of you can come to the party!

313
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,616
Jeez, what a baby!

314
00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:00,328
Way to ruin it.
I was just gonna go get dressed.

315
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:02,997
The only person
I cared about getting dressed...

316
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,666
...is the person who's
not even gonna go.

317
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,752
Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay?

318
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:12,131
Look, I was a jerk, okay?
I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there.

319
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,633
I need you there.

320
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:19,222
What can I do to show you
how much I want you to be there?

321
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,350
You could drink the fat.

322
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,522
Welcome to an adult conversation.

323
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,233
No, no, no.
Now wait a minute. Wait a minute.

324
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:34,195
- That actually sounds interesting.
- What?

325
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,572
I think you should drink the fat.

326
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,407
Yay!

327
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,958
Okay, if that's what it takes to
show you how much you mean to me...

328
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,877
...and how much I want you there,
that's what I'll do.

329
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,964
Let me get you another glass.
That's been sitting out.

330
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,716
I think this will be fine.

331
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,887
Okay, vanilla milkshake.
Just a vanilla milkshake...

332
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,974
...with chicken bits floating in it.

333
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,436
Cheers.

334
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,314
No, don't! Okay, okay, I'll go.
I'll go.

335
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,732
You will?

336
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,569
You were really gonna do that?

337
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:15,820
Well, yeah.

338
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,906
You were gonna drink the fat.

339
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,453
Let's see what else he'll do!

340
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,125
How about you get changed?
Give him his underwear.

341
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,628
I'll get a cab. I want everyone
downstairs in two minutes.

342
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:33,963
Monica!

343
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:35,590
CHANDLER:
Stop it.

344
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:36,924
Stop it!

345
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,097
PHOEBE:
Ross went to get a cab so we...

346
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,933
What are you doing? No, Monica, no!

347
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,103
[LINE RINGS]

348
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,730
RICHARD:
Hi, this is Richard.

349
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,109
RECORDED VOICE:
You have three new messages.

350
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,737
Not anymore.

351
00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,947
RECORDED VOICE:
Message erased.

352
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:06,120
To record your message,
begin speaking at the tone.

353
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,455
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

354
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,624
Hi, Richard. It's Monica.

355
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,835
Listen, I did something
kind of crazy tonight.

356
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,963
Maybe I'm getting my period
or something. I don't know.

357
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:20,301
Anyway, I beeped into your machine
and I heard this message...

358
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,969
...that freaked me out...

359
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,306
...and Michelle will tell you the rest.

360
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:30,269
I'm sorry, okay? And I hope that we
can just forget the whole thing.

361
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,022
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

362
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,776
RECORDED VOICE: Your outgoing
message has now been changed.

363
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:38,903
Outgoing?

364
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,363
Did that say outgoing?

365
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,989
Not outgoing!

366
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,078
MONICA:
Hi, Richard, it's Monica.

367
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:50,289
Listen, I did something
kind of crazy tonight.

368
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,167
Maybe I'm getting my period
or something. I don't know.

369
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,836
- How did you do that?
- I don't know!

370
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,172
RECORDED VOICE: Goodbye.
- No!

371
00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:00,925
Okay.

372
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:05,388
Okay, I've got two cabs
and no people! Go, go, go!

373
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,849
Maybe we can call the phone company
to change the message?

374
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,393
They could change his number.

375
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,729
I think after this,
he'll be doing that himself.

376
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:16,732
ROSS:
Rachel!

377
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,612
Wow!

378
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:25,199
You...
You look...

379
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:26,867
Wow!

380
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,871
And I still have about
five seconds to spare.

381
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,587
That was about 7 seconds.

382
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,423
So we're a little late.

383
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,425
Come on.

384
00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,261
Oh, and by the way...

385
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,554
What?

386
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,139
I'm going commando too.

387
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,849
[GROANS]

388
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:00,735
WHITFIELD:
Dr. Geller?

389
00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:04,530
- Sherman Whitfield, London Institute.
- What a pleasure.

390
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:09,618
I was quite impressed with your
paper on pre-Cretaceous fossils.

391
00:22:09,911 --> 00:22:12,121
Yes, it confirmed everything
I'd written.

392
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,748
Excuse me.

393
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,041
Hi.

394
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:16,625
Yes?

395
00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:18,711
You're kind of sitting in my seat.

396
00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,714
What do you mean, your seat?

397
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:25,217
- I mean, I was sitting there.
- But you got up.

398
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,553
But I never left the room.

399
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,639
But you left the chair area.

400
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:35,019
All right, that's it.
Give me your underwear.

401
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:44,487
[English - US - SDH]