1
00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:05,754
Do you think there's a town
in Missouri or someplace...

2
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,339
...called Sample?

3
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:11,510
And as you're driving into the town,
there's a sign and it says:

4
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,762
"You're in Sample."

5
00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:17,766
MONICA: Hey.
ALL: Hey.

6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,102
RACHEL: How did it go with Pete?
ROSS: Tell us.

7
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,604
You're not gonna believe this.
So I go...

8
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,815
I'm sorry. Excuse us.

9
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,946
- It's a little crowded. Do you mind?
- Could you skooch?

10
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,115
TIM:
Move over just a little bit.

11
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:35,784
Keep on skooching.

12
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,202
Thank you.

13
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:40,873
So, guys, listen.
I go over there and, you know, I'm...

14
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,125
TOMAS:
Why? What is wrong with me?

15
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,169
- What's the matter?
- Tim...

16
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,171
...I have a feeling...

17
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,133
...my wife is sleeping
with her gynecologist.

18
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,137
How do you know?

19
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,972
- He's got access.
- I know.

20
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,559
It's a feeling you get.

21
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,020
Like when you're in
somebody else's bowling shoes?

22
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,313
That's the one.

23
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,317
- So you went to Pete's.
- What happened?

24
00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,819
TOMAS:
Why is this happening to me?

25
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,654
Maybe it's my wound.

26
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:13,989
Forget it.

27
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,326
It's not healed yet?

28
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,911
It's oozing!

29
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,830
Would you pass the cream?
There's the cream.

30
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,499
Thank you very much.

31
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:28,504
Tomas, this is gonna be hard,
but I wanted it to come from me.

32
00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:31,381
- What is it?
- I've been sleeping with your wife.

33
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,674
You're the gynecologist?

34
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,677
I'm trying to have
a private conversation.

35
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,307
Can I have a napkin?
Could you please hand me a napkin?

36
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,893
Just give me the thing, all right?

37
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,229
Enough!

38
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,856
And you are no longer my friend!

39
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,067
We are finished! Nada! No more!

40
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,319
You are a bastard for doing that!

41
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,029
Stay away from me!

42
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:55,864
TIM:
Come back!

43
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,042
So what were you gonna tell us?

44
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,211
I have no idea.

45
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,223
What was the big news
Pete wanted to tell you?

46
00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,684
Or should I say, "Mrs. Monica Becker"?

47
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:08,812
Oh, keep your name.
Don't take his name.

48
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,272
He didn't ask me to marry him.

49
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,859
ALL: Aw.
- Then definitely don't take his name!

50
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,822
He wanted to tell me he's going
to compete in some Ultimate...

51
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,824
...Fighting Competition thingy.

52
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,410
JOEY: Pete?
RACHEL: Why? What is it?

53
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,246
I don't know exactly.
It's sort of like wrestling.

54
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,707
- Oh?
- But without the costumes.

55
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,459
Oh.

56
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,878
And it's not fake.
It's totally brutal.

57
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:37,341
It's two guys in the ring and
the rules are, "There are no rules"!

58
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,761
You can bite and pull
people's hair and stuff?

59
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,264
Anything goes except eye-gouging
and fish-hooking.

60
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,934
- What's fish-hooking?
- What's fish-hook...

61
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,522
Thanks. That would have been
hard to describe.

62
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,399
What is that taste?

63
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,654
My hands are totally clean.
I just gave the duck a bath.

64
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,034
DOUG:
Thanks for the warm welcome.

65
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:08,705
It's good to have you guys on my team.
I come to play. I hope you do too.

66
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,416
Let's go out there and get them!
And remember:

67
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,211
There is no I in "team."

68
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:18,465
Yes, but there's two in "martini."
So, everybody, back to my office.

69
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,302
You! Chuckles. What's your name?

70
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,638
It's Bing, sir.
I'm sorry. I was just...

71
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:28,267
No, no. I heard what you said.
Funny. I like funny.

72
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:31,436
This team's about hard work,
but it's also about having fun.

73
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,689
Good to have you aboard, Bing!

74
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,406
ROSS:
That's right. Ryder.

75
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,492
Winona Ryder for six.

76
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,079
Thank you.

77
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,581
- Yeah. We have the reservations.
RACHEL: Yes!

78
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,334
All right, buddy! Way to go!

79
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,380
Dude, what are you doing?

80
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:03,427
Thank you. My boss keeps slapping my
butt and acting like it's no big deal.

81
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,178
What'd you do about it?

82
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,140
I didn't do anything.
I didn't want to be the guy...

83
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:11,226
...who has a problem with his boss
slapping his bottom.

84
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,397
I gotta tell you, I think it's okay
to be that guy.

85
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,899
Maybe it's that jock thing.

86
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:21,862
You know, how football players
pat each other after touchdowns.

87
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,283
You know, I don't understand guys.

88
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,995
I mean, I would never congratulate
Monica on a great stew...

89
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,456
...by, you know, grabbing her boob.

90
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,501
I know. For a really great stew,
you'd just...

91
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,545
...stick your head in between them.

92
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,673
Can we please go eat?

93
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:45,010
- Yeah, what are we getting?
- Anything but stew.

94
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,514
So from now on, don't give
your boss a chance to get you.

95
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,475
Don't turn your back to him.

96
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,644
Or you could teach him
a lesson, you know?

97
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:59,483
What you do is rub something that
smells really bad on your butt, right?

98
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:03,070
Then when he goes to smack you,
his hand will smell.

99
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,493
Now, what could you rub on your butt
that would smell bad?

100
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,498
What if Joey was President?

101
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,294
Can I ask you something?

102
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,755
- Yeah.
- Okay, you can totally say no...

103
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:26,009
...but would it be okay with you
if I set Ross up on a date?

104
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:29,096
Oh. Uh, with who?

105
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:32,182
My friend Bonnie.
She always thought Ross was cute...

106
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:35,060
...and she asked if I could set it up.

107
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,979
- But if that's not cool...
- Which one is Bonnie?

108
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,690
You remember her from
my birthday party?

109
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,068
Average height...

110
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,529
...medium build, bald...

111
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,322
Oh!

112
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,826
That's fine.

113
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,663
Great! Okay! Good for you!
All right!

114
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:03,130
You are iron! You are steel!

115
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,384
Let me ask you, how come when I call
your computer support line...

116
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,678
...I have to wait an hour and a half?

117
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:13,432
We're adding operators all the time.
Could we concentrate on my training?

118
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:17,060
It's just hard when I know
I have e-mail I can't get.

119
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,815
- Hi.
- Monica!

120
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,067
Hi, honey.

121
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,445
On the table. On the table, please.

122
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:33,243
Hey, um, so listen, my friends were
telling me a little bit about...

123
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,245
...this Ultimate Fighting thing.

124
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,456
It sounds really dangerous.

125
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,792
I don't want you to get hurt,
because I kind of like you.

126
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:44,421
I don't want to get hurt either.
I'm being smart about this.

127
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,674
See these guys? They're
the best trainers in the world.

128
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,801
Hoshi was a paid assassin.

129
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,303
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

130
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,139
A housepainter!
He used to be a housepainter!

131
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,519
- Promise me you'll be careful.
- I promise.

132
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,731
Are we still on for tonight?
Good. Because...

133
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,275
...maybe we could have
a little workout of our own.

134
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,652
No! No boom-boom before big fight!

135
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:13,992
How about just a boom?

136
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,999
That was depressing.
I just bought a pretzel...

137
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,293
...from one of the kids from Fame.

138
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,214
- Ready to go to the movies?
- Mm-hm. Oh, this is Bonnie!

139
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,507
Hi.

140
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,675
This is Bonnie?

141
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,886
This is Bonnie? You're Bonnie?

142
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,014
I can show you an I.D. If you want.

143
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:40,268
Oh, no. You look a lot different
than the last time I saw you.

144
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,396
Oh, yeah. Well, I just
started wearing bras again.

145
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,941
Oh, that must be it.

146
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,735
Have fun tonight.

147
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,153
Thanks. You too.

148
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,161
You said she was bald.

149
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,205
She was bald. She's not now.

150
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,167
How could you not tell me
she has hair?

151
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:07,295
I don't know.
I hardly ever say that about people.

152
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,381
Oh, well this is just perfect!

153
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,009
Well, I'm sorry.
I thought you said it was okay.

154
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:17,722
I said it was okay when I thought
she was some weird bald chick.

155
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,475
That girl has got hair
all over her head!

156
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:27,107
- Maybe Ross won't like her personality.
- Does she have a bad personality?

157
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,401
Oh, no, Bonnie's the best!

158
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,658
DOUG:
Bing!

159
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,079
Read your CompuTek proposal.
Real home run.

160
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:45,292
Ooh. Barely got you that time.
Get over here!

161
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,002
Come on.

162
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,212
Oh, yeah! Good one.

163
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:52,007
That was a good one.
Keep at it, team!

164
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,302
- What is with him?
- "With him"?

165
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,971
You're his favorite.
You're his guy!

166
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,598
We never get smacked.

167
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,268
That's not true.
He smacked you once.

168
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:06,646
Not on purpose.
He ricocheted off you and got me.

169
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,983
I'm telling you,
I need some smacks.

170
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,485
I got a kid starting Dartmouth.

171
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,488
Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth?
Dartmouth sucks!

172
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,198
- You go to Dartmouth?
- No, sir.

173
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,784
There you go! Ha-ha-ha.

174
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,747
[CROWD CHEERING]

175
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,334
ROSS:
Hey.

176
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,044
God, Ross! What is that?

177
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,920
The Ultimate Fighting Combo.

178
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,215
I saved 30 cents.
Plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!

179
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,887
ANNOUNCER:
From New York City, New York...

180
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:43,266
...appearing in his Ultimate
Fighting Championship debut...

181
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:47,270
...he's known for his
confrontational business style!

182
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,900
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing...

183
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,611
...Pete Becker!

184
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,404
[CROWD CHEERING]

185
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,660
I love you, Pete!

186
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:09,793
And his opponent
from Huntington Beach, California...

187
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:13,797
...he's a 300-pound
street fighter...

188
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,716
...Tank Abbott!

189
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,386
[MIXED CHEERING AND JEERING]

190
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,304
Boo! Boo!

191
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,481
Pete? Pete?

192
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,109
- That guy's pretty huge.
- Don't worry.

193
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,820
I'll use his strength
and weight against him.

194
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:41,324
Well, then that guy is in serious,
serious trouble.

195
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,206
You go get him. Let's go!

196
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,251
Here we go, gentlemen.

197
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:52,836
Are you ready?

198
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,508
Are you ready?
Then let's get it on!

199
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,345
[GRUNTING]

200
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,558
Uh-oh!

201
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,738
Hey.

202
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,823
It's me.

203
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,451
[SLOWLY]
Monica.

204
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,831
Can I just tell you how proud
I am of you?

205
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:34,085
It would be nice after hearing
20,000 people chant, "You suck!"

206
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,297
I thought you were nuts at first...

207
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,090
...but you did it.

208
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,510
Now you can just look back at this
with no regrets.

209
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,179
Look back?

210
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,848
You're not gonna keep going?

211
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:50,935
Let me ask you a question:
Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?

212
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,689
Well, no. But...

213
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:58,276
I'm not gonna stop until I'm
the Ultimate Fighting Champion.

214
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:03,156
That guy stood on your neck
until you passed out.

215
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,658
Let me tell you a story.

216
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:10,872
When I set out to create MOSS 865,
do you think it happened overnight?

217
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:15,543
No. There was MOSS 1
that burned down my dad's garage.

218
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,714
There was MOSS 2 that would only
schedule appointments in January.

219
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,217
And 862 others that I learned from.

220
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:26,221
Just like I learned from this fight
never to let a guy stand on my neck.

221
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,723
You didn't know that already?

222
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,227
Look, I'm gonna get better.

223
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,188
Okay? I promise you.

224
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,565
Okay.

225
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,236
Just get a lot better.

226
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,071
Fast.

227
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,324
One other thing.

228
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:50,245
Hoshi thinks you being ringside
may have affected my concentration.

229
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,247
Yeah.

230
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,249
That was the problem.

231
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,758
- How long until Pete's fight?
- About five minutes.

232
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,718
They're interviewing his opponent.

233
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:10,056
Apparently, he trains by going to Iran
and pulling the arms off thieves.

234
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:13,601
- Wow. Ha, ha. Hot dog?
- Four, please.

235
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,770
I'm really nervous.

236
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,772
Thank you.

237
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:23,194
So how did it go with Bonnie?

238
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:27,615
Oh, I gotta tell you,
I wasn't expecting to like her at all.

239
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,785
I actually wasn't expecting
to like anyone right now.

240
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,079
But she's really terrific.

241
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,289
It's too bad.

242
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,168
No, I'm saying I liked her.

243
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,296
There are other fish in the sea.

244
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,800
I think she's great, okay?
We're going out again.

245
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,637
I hear you. Are you capable
of talking about anything else?

246
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,474
Which one's my turkey burger?

247
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,977
The one next to my foot.
Sorry.

248
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,230
- Fight's starting!
- We'll be right in.

249
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,317
So did your boss try
to slap you again today?

250
00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:03,985
Nine times.

251
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,446
I had to put on lotion.

252
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,492
But it'll be okay.
Tomorrow, I conduct an experiment.

253
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:15,747
And if all goes as planned,
my butt will be smack-free.

254
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,624
JOEY:
Fight's over!

255
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,672
Excuse me, Doug?

256
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,135
Hey there, sports fan!

257
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,971
Bing! You got those numbers for me?

258
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,098
No. I didn't do them.

259
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,225
Oh. You forgot?

260
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,937
No, I just didn't do them.

261
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,857
Instead, I hung out with some
friends and had a couple of beers.

262
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,818
So I certainly don't
deserve praise. Verbal...

263
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,654
...or otherwise.

264
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,366
I got tanked myself last night.
Pretty dicey drive home.

265
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,035
Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller.
Ha, ha.

266
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,289
That's okay. You're still
my number one guy! Bing!

267
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,125
- Doug!
- Hmm?

268
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:05,838
I'm a little bit uncomfortable with
the way that you express yourself.

269
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,633
Is it the swearing?
Is it the constant swearing?

270
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:12,845
Because I gotta tell you, if it is,
you can just kiss my ass!

271
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,642
No. It's not about the swearing.
It's more about...

272
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,353
...the way that you occasionally...

273
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:24,065
...concentrate your enthusiasm...

274
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,901
...on my buttocks.

275
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:29,320
Oh.

276
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,281
Don't get me wrong,
I appreciate the sentiment.

277
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:36,327
It's just that I have a rather
sensitive posterior.

278
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,416
And besides, it's making
all the other guys jealous.

279
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:45,670
Well, say no more. You know,
it takes guts to bring this up.

280
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,880
Bing, you're okay.

281
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:49,090
Okay.

282
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,509
- Ha! Ah!
- Ah!

283
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,302
[LAUGHING]

284
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,846
[MIMICS GUNSHOT]

285
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,728
Would you rather live in the
shirt pocket of a sweaty giant...

286
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,439
...or inside his shower drain?

287
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,734
Oh, my God.

288
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,361
Look. It's Ross and that girl.

289
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:18,202
Look at that! It's a line of ants!
They're working as a team!

290
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:24,333
Right. Oh, yeah. It looks
like Ross is breaking up with her.

291
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,044
I hope he lets her down easy.

292
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,255
Look at that! They are not
breaking up! Look at them!

293
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,467
You know what that is?
A second date, that's what that is.

294
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,470
Look, she just put her hand
on his thigh.

295
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,306
That's nothing.
She's very sexually aggressive.

296
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,599
Oh, God!

297
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:44,645
It's your fault. Now he loves her.
He'll marry her. It's all your fault.

298
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,856
You said it was okay.

299
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,233
You said she was bald!

300
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,987
Was! Was, was, was!

301
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:58,326
We can't let it happen. We have to do
something. We have to break them up.

302
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:02,789
Just go in there and shave her head!
You owe me one bald girl!

303
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,417
Okay, first of all, breathe.

304
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:10,004
Second of all, I don't get it.

305
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,466
Aren't you the one that decided
you didn't want to be with Ross?

306
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,677
Yes.

307
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,640
Well, isn't he your friend?
Don't you want him to be happy?

308
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,018
Yes.

309
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,020
So?

310
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:34,779
It's just, you know, I didn't
expect him to be this happy so soon.

311
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,990
[GROANING]

312
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,498
- Oh, no.
- What?

313
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:46,833
We killed them all!

314
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,376
[RACHEL SHOUTS]

315
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,471
[MONICA GASPS]

316
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,140
[GRUNTS]

317
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,935
It's not as bad as it looks.
It's a precaution.

318
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,688
I'm not supposed to move my spine.

319
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:13,067
Please tell me you're stopping now.

320
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:16,195
I'm fine. I'd fight tonight
if they'd let me.

321
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,491
Now, see this circle
I'm marking off here?

322
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,702
This is my Zone of Terror.

323
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,833
You are insane!
You've got to give this up!

324
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,961
I can't until I'm
the Ultimate Fighter.

325
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,337
I will do it.

326
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:37,842
The day will come when children will
argue over who will win a fight...

327
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:40,011
...me or Superman.

328
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,891
Not that I could beat Superman,
but kids are stupid.

329
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,393
Just sit down.

330
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,478
Please listen to me.

331
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:54,692
You are terrible at this, okay? You
are the worst Ultimate Fighter ever.

332
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,110
Ever!

333
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:01,616
I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline
fracture in my right forearm...

334
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:05,995
...and a severely bruised Adam's
apple, but that really hurt.

335
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,878
Well, then you know what?

336
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:20,092
I care about you too much to watch you
hurt yourself like this.

337
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:24,013
So if you have to do this,
you'll have to do it without me.

338
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,432
If you're asking me to quit...

339
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,518
...then you're asking me
to be someone I'm not.

340
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,270
I've got to do this.

341
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,443
Then I've gotta go.

342
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,238
Bye.

343
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,828
- Monica?
- Yes?

344
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,665
Could you leave a note?
I'm on painkillers...

345
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,084
...and I might not
remember this tomorrow.

346
00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:03,552
So, in conclusion, the lines
all go up, so I'm happy.

347
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,764
Great job, team!
Tomorrow at 8:30.

348
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,434
Phil, nice job! Stevens, way to go!

349
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,853
Goldberg, you maniac!

350
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,689
I love you!

351
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,695
- Bing, couldn't have done it without you.
- Thank you, sir.

352
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,280
Oh, excuse me.

353
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:26,200
I forgot my briefcase, you know,
by accident.

354
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,661
Of course you did. Forgot
something else too, you bastard!

355
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,871
[LAUGHING]

356
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,792
Well, what about you?

357
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,545
You're not feeling left out, are you?

358
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:38,713
No. Heh.

359
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,465
No, not at all. That's ridiculous.

360
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,885
Everybody else got one,
and you want one too. Don't you?

361
00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:49,557
- Yes, I do.
- Ha-ha-ha.

362
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,976
Now, get on out of here, you!

363
00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,816
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
Pete Becker circles the ring.

364
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,527
Looks like he's just trying
to feel him out.

365
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,237
Bruiser is charging!

366
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:06,157
Run, you crazy, rich freak!

367
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,076
I can't watch this.

368
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:10,995
Check it out! Pete's winning!

369
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,247
- Really?
- No!

370
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:20,171
ANNOUNCER: Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on
the canvas and is going for his favorite area!

371
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,672
ALL:
Oh! Oh!

372
00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:25,926
Wait! If that's his favorite area,
why is he being so mean to it?

373
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,845
ROSS:
This is ironic.

374
00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,765
Your last boyfriend, Richard,
didn't want to have kids.

375
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,601
And from the looks of it,
now Pete can't.

376
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,103
[ALL SHOUTING]

377
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,776
[English - US - SDH]