1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:05,337
- Hmm. Oh, I don't know.
- What?

2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,923
Well, as old as he is in dog years...

3
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,677
...do you think Snoopy
should still be allowed to fly this thing?

4
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:14,013
- Rachel?
- Yeah?

5
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:18,183
Remember when you came, you spent two
weeks getting trained by another waitress?

6
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,103
Oh, sure.
Do you need me to train somebody new?

7
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,564
Ha-ha-ha. Good one.

8
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:28,694
Actually, uh,
Terry wants you to take the training again.

9
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:29,903
Whenever.

10
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,197
[RACHEL SCOFFS]

11
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,325
Do you believe that?

12
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:38,037
[SCOFFING]

13
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,915
Yeah.

14
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,137
SARAH: So that's two boxes
of the Holiday Macaroons.

15
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,891
On behalf of the Brown Birds of America,
I salute you.

16
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,518
[TWEETS]

17
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,438
Just admit it. You have no backhand.

18
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,733
Excuse me, little one.
I have a very solid backhand.

19
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:53,153
Shielding your face
and shrieking like a girl...

20
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,364
...is not a backhand.

21
00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:58,367
I was shrieking...

22
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,660
...like a Marine.

23
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:06,333
All right, here, watch me execute
the three P's of championship play.

24
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,252
Power, huah...

25
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,837
...precision, shew...

26
00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:11,130
...and panache.

27
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,048
[SARAH SCREAMS]

28
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,719
You broke a little girl's leg?

29
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,639
I know. I feel horrible, okay?

30
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,977
It says here that a Muppet got whacked
on Sesame Street last night.

31
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,730
Where exactly were you around 10-ish?

32
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:33,443
Well, I'm gonna go see her.
I wanna bring her something.

33
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,280
- What do you think she'd like?
- Maybe a Hello Kitty doll?

34
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,574
The ability to walk?

35
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,202
[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

36
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,371
I'm gonna get back to retraining. Ahem.

37
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,582
All right. See you guys.

38
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,584
Look out, kids. He's coming.

39
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,964
And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees.

40
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,550
Have fun. Oh, wait. No, don't.

41
00:02:56,718 --> 00:03:00,012
I forgot. I am totally against that now.

42
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,599
What? Me having a job?

43
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:08,437
No, no. I am against innocent trees
being cut down in their prime...

44
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,440
...and their corpses
grotesquely dressed...

45
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,651
...in, like, tinsel and twinkly lights.

46
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,820
Hey, how do you sleep at night?

47
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:20,574
Well, I'm pretty tired
from lugging the trees around.

48
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,368
Hey, Phoebe, listen.

49
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,370
You got this all wrong.

50
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,581
Those trees were born
to be Christmas trees.

51
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,960
They're fulfilling their life purpose
by making people happy.

52
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,295
Really?

53
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,216
Yes.

54
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,927
Yes, and, uh, the trees are happy too...

55
00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:44,223
...because for most of them,
it's their only chance to see New York.

56
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,646
After you've delivered the drinks,
you take the tray...

57
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,316
Gunther, Gunther, please.
I have worked here for two and a half years.

58
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,194
I know the empty trays go over there.

59
00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,280
What if you put them here?

60
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,740
Huh.

61
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,744
You know, that's actually a good idea.
They'll be closer to the mugs.

62
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,623
You know what? You should have
the other waitresses do that too.

63
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,292
- They already do.
- Huh?

64
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,795
That's why they call it "the tray spot."

65
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:18,966
I always heard them talk about that.
I just thought it was a club they went to.

66
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,926
Oh, God.

67
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,514
- I'm sorry.
- It's all right.

68
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,308
Sweetheart.

69
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:34,648
So this must be kind of neat
for you, huh?

70
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,401
Your dad tells me
you get a couple of days off school...

71
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,737
...and you don't have to sell
those cookies anymore.

72
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,533
Well, I kind of wanted to sell the cookies.

73
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,452
The girl who sells the most
wins a trip to Space Camp...

74
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,788
...and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.

75
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:54,626
Wow, you really like
all this space stuff, huh?

76
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:58,338
Yeah. My dad says if I'd spend as
much time helping him clean apartments...

77
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,008
...as I do daydreaming
about outer space...

78
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,927
...he'd be able to afford a trip
to the Taj Mahal.

79
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:08,348
I think you'd have to clean a whole lot
of apartments to go all the way to India.

80
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:11,685
No, the one in Atlantic City.
Dad loves the slots.

81
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,232
He says he's gonna double
the college money my grandma left me.

82
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,776
Huh.

83
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:22,237
Well, good luck to Dad.

84
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,072
[SARAH SIGHS]

85
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,910
Say, how many more boxes
would you have to sell in order to win?

86
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:33,415
- The girl who won last year sold 475.
- Yeah?

87
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,460
So far, I've sold 75.

88
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,298
Four hundred, huh?

89
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:45,177
Well, that sounds doable.
How much are the boxes?

90
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,511
Five dollars a box.

91
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,431
And what is second prize?

92
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:51,558
A 10-speed bike.

93
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,311
But I'd rather have something
my dad couldn't sell.

94
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,523
Well, that makes sense.

95
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,568
Could you do me one favor?
If it's not too much trouble.

96
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:05,197
- Yeah, Sarah, anything.
- Could you pull the curtains open for me?

97
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,283
The astronauts from the space shuttle
are gonna be on the news.

98
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,952
Since we don't have a TV,
the lady across the alley...

99
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,456
...said she'd push hers up to her window
so I can watch it.

100
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,261
WOMAN:
Yes?

101
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:31,056
Yeah, hi. I'm selling Brown Bird cookies.

102
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:36,228
You're no Brown Bird.
I can see you through my peephole.

103
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,857
Um, no, hi. I'm an honorary Brown Bird.

104
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,442
[TWEETS]

105
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,987
What does that mean?

106
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:50,117
Uh, well, it means that I can sell cookies,
but I'm not invited to sleepovers.

107
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,535
[CHUCKLES]

108
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,749
I can dial 911 at the press of a button,
you know.

109
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,251
Now, go away.

110
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,212
Please, please. It's for a poor little girl...

111
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,966
...who wants to go to Space Camp
more than anything in the world.

112
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,551
- I'm pressing.
- No...

113
00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,761
A policeman is on his way.

114
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,973
Okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going.

115
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,727
[SIGHS]

116
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:21,189
- I can still see you.
- All right.

117
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,485
Hey.

118
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,988
Hey. What are you doing here?

119
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,198
Well, I thought a lot
about what you said...

120
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:34,578
...and I realized, all right,
maybe I was a little judgmental.

121
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,872
Yeah. Oh, but, oh. Ugh.

122
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,499
Now, now, Phoebe, remember, hey...

123
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,960
...they're just fulfilling their Christmas...

124
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,587
- Destiny. Yes.
- Sure.

125
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,465
- Right.
- Okay.

126
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,968
Yikes. That one doesn't look
very fulfilled.

127
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,388
Oh, that's one of the old ones.
He's just taking it to the back.

128
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,932
PHOEBE:
You keep the old ones in the back?

129
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,393
That is so ageist.

130
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:03,815
- We have to make room for the fresh ones.
- So, what happens to the old guys?

131
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,859
Well, they go into the chipper.

132
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:10,322
Why do I have a feeling
that's not as happy as it sounds?

133
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,491
[DRONING]

134
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,868
No. No!

135
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,662
[GASPING]

136
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,749
[YELLS]

137
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,418
Hey, hey, hey.

138
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,133
And these come in the shapes
of Christmas characters.

139
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,969
Santa, Rudolph and Baby Jesus.

140
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,638
Oh.

141
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,516
All right.
I'll take a box of the cream-filled Jesuses.

142
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,562
Wait a minute, one box? I'm trying to send
a poor little girl to Space Camp.

143
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,690
I'm putting you down for five boxes.
Chandler, what about you?

144
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:50,195
All right, do you have any, uh,
coconut-flavored deities?

145
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:54,533
No, but there's coconut
in the Hanukkah Menorah-eos.

146
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,161
I'll put you down for eight boxes,
one for each night.

147
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,371
[MOUTHS]
Okay.

148
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,499
ROSS: Mon?
- I'll take one box of the Mint Treasures.

149
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,793
One, and that's it.

150
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,546
I started gaining weight
after I joined the Brown Birds.

151
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:11,591
Remember Dad bought every one
of my boxes and I ate them all?

152
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:15,554
No, Mon, Dad had to buy every one
of your boxes...

153
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,681
...because you ate them all.

154
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:24,854
But, you know,
I'm sure that's not gonna happen this time.

155
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,649
Why don't I just put you down
for three Mint Treasures...

156
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,609
...and just a couple of the Rudolphs?

157
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,278
No.

158
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,449
Oh, come on, now.
You know you want them.

159
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,035
[STAMMERS]
Don't do this.

160
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:43,707
I'll tell you what, Mon.
I'll give you the first box for free.

161
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,668
Oh, God, I gotta go.

162
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,963
Come on.
All the cool kids are eating them.

163
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,343
And later I wanna show you
why we don't just trap spiders...

164
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,305
...under coffee mugs
and leave them there.

165
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:06,021
I'm training to be better at a job that I hate.
My life officially sucks.

166
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:10,066
But wasn't this supposed to be temporary?
I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff.

167
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:12,569
Well, yeah, I'm still pursuing that.

168
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,739
How, exactly, are you pursuing that?

169
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,826
You know, other than sending out résumés,
like, what, two years ago?

170
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,705
Well, I'm also sending out...

171
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,374
...good thoughts.

172
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,919
If you ask me,
as long as you got this job...

173
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,797
...you got nothing pushing you
to get another one.

174
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,216
You need The Fear.

175
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,052
- The Fear?
CHANDLER: He's right.

176
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,471
If you quit this job,
you then have motivation...

177
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,973
...to go after a job you really want.

178
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:46,853
How come you're still at a job you hate?
Why don't you quit and get The Fear?

179
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,063
[BOTH LAUGH]

180
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,398
Because I'm too afraid.

181
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,901
God. I don't know.

182
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:57,322
I mean, I would give anything to work
for a designer, you know, or a buyer.

183
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,659
Ugh. I just don't wanna be 30
and still work here.

184
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:05,705
Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28
and still working here.

185
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,791
- Rachel?
- Yeah?

186
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:12,170
Remind me to review with you
which pot is decaf and which is regular.

187
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:16,091
Can't I just look at the handles on them?

188
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,009
You would think.

189
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,806
Okay, fine. Gunther, you know what?
I am a terrible waitress.

190
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:26,893
Do you know why I'm a terrible waitress?
Because I don't care.

191
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,647
I don't care. I don't care which pot
is regular and which pot is decaf.

192
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,649
I don't care where the tray spot is.

193
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:36,069
I just don't care.
This is not what I wanna do.

194
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:40,156
So I don't think I should do it anymore.

195
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,952
- I'm gonna give you my week's notice.
- What?

196
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,328
Gunther, I quit.

197
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,042
Does this mean we're gonna have to start
paying for coffee?

198
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,799
Okay, 12.

199
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,843
Twenty-two.

200
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,011
Eighteen.

201
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,722
[CHANDLER LAUGHS]

202
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,102
- What?
- I spelled out "boobies." Ha, ha.

203
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:17,527
Ross, put me down for another box
of the Mint Treasures, okay?

204
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,071
Where are the Mint Treasures?

205
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,032
Uh, we're out. I sold them all.

206
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,076
What?

207
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,662
Monica, I'm cutting you off.

208
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,959
No. No.

209
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,211
Just a couple more boxes.

210
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,591
It's no big deal, all right? I'm cool.

211
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,137
You gotta help me out
with a couple more boxes.

212
00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:47,724
Mon, look at yourself.
You have cookie on your neck.

213
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,225
Oh, God.

214
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:55,398
- Whoa. So how many you sold so far?
- Ah? Check this out.

215
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:59,819
- Five hundred and seventeen boxes.
- Oh, my God. How did you do that?

216
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:02,280
Ahem. Okay, the other night,
I was leaving the museum...

217
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:06,868
...just as Laser Floyd was letting out
of the planetarium.

218
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,788
Without even trying, I sold 50 boxes.

219
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:13,625
That's when it occurred to me.
The key to my success: The munchies.

220
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:20,006
So I started hitting the NYU dorms
around midnight.

221
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:25,136
I am selling cookies by the case.

222
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,387
They call me...

223
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,973
[IN DUMB VOICE]
..."Cookie Dude."

224
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:34,687
Okay, stop what you're doing.
I need envelope stuffers, stamp lickers...

225
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,065
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Oh, hey. Who did these résumés for you?

226
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,650
Me, on my computer.

227
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,777
Well, you sure used a large font.

228
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,530
Uh, yeah.
Well, "Waitress at a Coffeehouse"...

229
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:47,325
...and "Cheer Squad Co-captain"
only took up so much room.

230
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,411
Heh, heh. Hey, that's funny.

231
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:53,248
You're funny, Chandler.
You're a funny guy.

232
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,291
You know what else is really funny?

233
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,503
Something else I might have said?

234
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,547
I don't know, I don't know.

235
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,007
Weren't you the guy
that told me to quit my job...

236
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,260
...when I had absolutely
nothing else to do?

237
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,428
Ha-ha-ha. Huh? Huh?

238
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,349
Sweetie, calm down. It's gonna be okay.

239
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,101
RACHEL:
No, it's not gonna be okay, Ross.

240
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:17,188
Tomorrow is my last day,
and I don't have a lead.

241
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,691
Okay, you know what?
I'm just gonna call Gunther...

242
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,860
...and I'm gonna tell him I'm not quitting.

243
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,445
You don't wanna give in to The Fear.

244
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:28,032
You and your stupid Fear.
I hate your Fear.

245
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,660
I would like to take you and your Fear...

246
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,162
Hey. I got great news.

247
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,915
Run, Joey. Run for your life.

248
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:41,421
What? Rach, listen, have you ever heard
of Fortunata Fashions?

249
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,215
- No.
- My old man's doing a plumbing job there...

250
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,092
...and he heard they have an opening.

251
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,386
Want me to see
if he can get you an interview?

252
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,432
Oh, my God, yes. I would love that.
Oh, that's so sweet, Joey.

253
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,436
Not a problem.
And now for the great news.

254
00:14:56,604 --> 00:15:00,356
- What, that wasn't the great news?
- Only if you think it's better than this.

255
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,484
Snow-in-a-Can.

256
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,654
I got it at work.
You want me to decorate the window?

257
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:10,867
- Give it kind of a Christmas looky?
- Christmas cookie?

258
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,499
Okay, and this one here's a Douglas fir.

259
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,295
Now, it's a little more money,
but you get a nicer smell.

260
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,964
Looks good. I'll take it.

261
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,634
Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.
You don't want that one. Uh-uh.

262
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:32,221
No. You can have
this cool brown one. Ooh.

263
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:34,724
It's almost dead.

264
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:38,686
But that's why you have to buy it,
so that it can fulfill its Christmas destiny.

265
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,606
Otherwise, they're gonna throw it
into the chipper. Tell him, Joey.

266
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,107
Uh...

267
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:47,028
Yeah, the trees that don't fulfill
their Christmas destiny, heh...

268
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,489
...are thrown in the chipper.

269
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:53,618
I think I'm gonna look around
a little bit more.

270
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:58,414
Pheebs. Heh. You gotta stop doing this.
I'm working on commission here.

271
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,335
MONICA: Hey, guys.
I'm here to pick out my Christmas tree.

272
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,964
Well, look no further. This one's yours.

273
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,007
Ah.

274
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,469
Is this the one that I threw out last year?

275
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,640
All right, you know what? Never mind.
Everybody wants to have a green one.

276
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,849
[SOBS]

277
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,602
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to get so emotional.

278
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:23,106
I guess it's just...
The holidays are just hard.

279
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:27,026
Oh, honey, is that because
your mom died around Christmas?

280
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,529
Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that.

281
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,864
Oh.

282
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,083
Hi there. How many did you sell?

283
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:46,838
I'm not gonna tell you.
You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg.

284
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,800
Hey, now. That was an accident, okay?

285
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,176
You're a big scrud.

286
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,888
What's a scrud?

287
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,141
Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?

288
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,438
I don't have to. I can just look at you.

289
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,274
All right, girls...

290
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,610
...and man.

291
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,155
Let's see your final tallies.

292
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,116
Oh... Debbie.

293
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,328
Three hundred and twenty-one boxes
of cookies. Very nice.

294
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,123
Not nice enough.

295
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,916
LEADER:
Charla.

296
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,127
Two hundred and seventy-eight.

297
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,212
Sorry, dear, but still good.

298
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,965
Good for a scrud.

299
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,384
LEADER:
Let's see.

300
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,261
Ooh. Yes, Elizabeth.

301
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,471
[GASPS]

302
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,806
Eight hundred and seventy-one.

303
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,933
That's crap.

304
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,397
Sister Brown Bird.

305
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,733
Good going.

306
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,196
Who's next?

307
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,699
[CLEARS THROAT]

308
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,786
- Hi there.
- Hi.

309
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,372
And batting for Sarah...

310
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,875
...Ross Geller.

311
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:09,128
Eight hundred and seventy-two.

312
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:14,759
Although it looks like you bought
an awful lot of cookies yourself.

313
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:21,182
Ahem. That is because my doctor
says that I have a very serious...

314
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,684
...nougat...

315
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,396
...deficiency.

316
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,567
Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.

317
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,070
Well, I lost.

318
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:37,198
Some little girl loaned her uniform
to her 19-year-old sister...

319
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:42,245
...who went down to the USS Nimitz
and sold over 2000 boxes.

320
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,416
CHANDLER: Hey. How'd the interview go?
- Oh, I blew it.

321
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,710
- I wouldn't have even hired me.
ROSS: Oh.

322
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,754
- Ugh.
- Come here, sweetie.

323
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:58,511
Listen, you're gonna go on like
a thousand interviews before you get a job.

324
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,434
That's not how that was supposed
to come out.

325
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:08,062
This is just the worst Christmas ever.

326
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,399
Rach, maybe you should just, you know,
stay here at the coffeehouse.

327
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:15,653
I can't. It's too late.
Terry already hired that girl over there.

328
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:20,366
Look at her.
She's even got waitress experience. Ugh.

329
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,493
Last night she was...

330
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:27,790
...teaching everybody
how to make napkins into...

331
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,333
[IN SQUEAKY VOICE]
...swans.

332
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,753
That word was "swans."

333
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,714
[MOUTHS]
"Swans."

334
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:42,471
Well, seeing that drunk Santa wet himself
really perked up my Christmas.

335
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,231
Ah! Oh, my God.

336
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,358
[IN UNISON]
Merry Christmas!

337
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,735
[SHRIEKING]

338
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,196
PHOEBE:
You saved them. You guys.

339
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,364
Oh, God, you're the best.

340
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,117
Looks like Night of the Living Dead
Christmas Trees.

341
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,579
[PHONE RINGS]

342
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,372
Hello?

343
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,374
Yeah, this is she.

344
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,587
Oh! You're kidding. You're kidding.

345
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,215
Oh, thank you. I love you.

346
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:19,675
Sure, everybody loves a kidder.

347
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,510
I got the job.

348
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,846
- Oh, hey. All right!
- That's great.

349
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:27,433
Oh! God bless us, every one.

350
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:33,147
Here we go.
I'm serving my last cup of coffee.

351
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:36,317
[ALL HUMMING ELGAR'S
"POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE MARCH NO. 1"]

352
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,283
There you go. Enjoy.

353
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:46,035
Yay!

354
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,913
- Should I tell her I ordered tea?
- No.

355
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,082
- No.
- No.

356
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,458
Um, excuse me, everyone?

357
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:56,045
Uh, this is my last night working here...

358
00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:01,634
...and I just wanted to say
that I made some really good friends here.

359
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,470
And it's just time to move on.

360
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,805
[WHIMPERS]

361
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,435
And no offense to everybody
who still works here...

362
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:15,064
...but you have no idea
how good it feels to say...

363
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,775
...that as of this moment...

364
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:22,822
...I will never have to make coffee again.

365
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,825
Now, Mr. Kaplan Sr.
Likes his coffee strong.

366
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:29,412
So you're gonna use two bags
instead of one, see?

367
00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:32,373
Now, pay attention
because this part's tricky.

368
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,960
See, some people use filters just once.

369
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:47,346
I'm sorry you didn't get to go
to Space Camp...

370
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:53,102
...and I'm hoping that maybe somehow,
this may help make up for it. Okay?

371
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,729
Presenting...

372
00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:58,983
...Sarah Tuddle's Private,
Very Special Space Camp!

373
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,323
Really, Mr. Geller,
you don't have to do this.

374
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:06,615
Oh, come on. Here we go.

375
00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:07,992
[MIMICS ENGINES ROARING]

376
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:12,121
Stand by for mission countdown.

377
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:13,706
[IN ECHOEY VOICE]
Ten, ten, ten.

378
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,124
Nine, nine, nine.

379
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,460
Eight, eight, eight. Ow.

380
00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:19,545
Okay, blast off.

381
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,714
[MEN MIMICKING ENGINES ROARING]

382
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,054
[ROSS BEEPING]

383
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,766
[IN FALSETTO VOICE]
I'm an alien. I'm an alien.

384
00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,935
ROSS:
Oh, no, an asteroid!

385
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,529
[English - US - SDH]