1 00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:04,753 - Oh, hey, Joey. - Mmm. 2 00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:08,090 - Hey. - Listen, I need to ask you something. 3 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,134 You know how my stepdad's in prison? 4 00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,386 - Yeah. - Yeah. 5 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:16,598 He was supposed to get a weekend furlough so he could go to the wedding. 6 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,934 But he just called and... 7 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:24,106 Well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard couldn't wait till Monday. 8 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:26,567 - So he can't come? - No. 9 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,987 And so there's no one to walk me down the aisle. And... 10 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,615 Well, I would just really love it if you would do it. 11 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,326 - Seriously? - Yeah. 12 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:39,246 You've, you know, sort of been like a dad to me. 13 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:44,460 You've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom. 14 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,465 I am pretty "wisdomous." 15 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,968 So, what do you say? 16 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:56,805 Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. 17 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,808 PHOEBE: Oh, thank you. 18 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,728 I hope... 19 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,482 I hope you know how much you mean to me. 20 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:09,151 Listen, I hope... 21 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,653 I hope that you know... 22 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,493 I don't want you to see your father cry. Go to your room! 23 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,547 - Oh. - Oh, no, no, no. Let your dad get this. 24 00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:14,216 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 25 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:19,721 Oh. It's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! 26 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:24,601 Hello? Okay, stop screaming! 27 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,396 Okay, so halibut. 28 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,232 All right, so salmon. Either way. I don't... 29 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,152 - It doesn't matter to me. - Well, it matters to me! 30 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,198 Well, I don't care. So you pick. 31 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,492 Did you just hang up on me? 32 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:45,122 All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours. 33 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,457 Okay. What time is that? 34 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,586 You don't know military time? 35 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:53,964 I must have been in missile training the day they taught that. 36 00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,717 Just subtract 12. 37 00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,469 Okay, so 1800 minus 12... 38 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,097 ...is 1788. 39 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,307 - Six o'clock! - Okay. 40 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:04,516 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 41 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,226 Hold on. Yeah? Geller here. 42 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:11,190 No, I said it has to be there by 4:00. Goodbye. 43 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:13,692 How hard is it to make an ice sculpture? 44 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,485 That sounds really fancy. 45 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:18,030 I told you, I just want a simple wedding. 46 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,908 Please, honey, leave the details to me. 47 00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:23,785 Now, I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. 48 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:26,163 I was thinking the harpist should wear white. 49 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,625 Harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums. 50 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,628 - Oh, she backed out. - She did? Why? 51 00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,630 I made her. 52 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,049 Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding." 53 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,636 - Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent. - Hey! 54 00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:43,889 She will shower when Tibet is free. 55 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:56,276 CHANDLER: Hey. You look great. PHOEBE: You too. 56 00:03:56,444 --> 00:04:01,531 I'm glad we're having a rehearsal dinner. I rarely practice my meals before I eat. 57 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,660 What did we say was your one gift to us? 58 00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:08,330 No stupid jokes, but I thought that was for the actual wedding. 59 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,332 Rehearse it. 60 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,459 Hi. 61 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,836 - Thanks for coming, you guys. - Oh, yeah... 62 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,507 I was... I was going for a handshake. 63 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,509 That why your hand's against my crotch? 64 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,761 - That is why. MIKE: Yeah. 65 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,098 So, Rach, where's Emma? 66 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,975 Monica made me send her to my mom's. 67 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:31,019 Apparently, babies and weddings don't mix. 68 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:34,356 Are you still crying about your damn baby? 69 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:39,027 Pheebs, you got to keep the line moving. Remember, 20 seconds per person. 70 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,988 You see these clowns all the time. 71 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,703 - Hey, you're Mike's parents, right? - Yes, we are. 72 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,706 Gosh, our little ones are growing up fast, aren't they? 73 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,709 - How's that? - You know... 74 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:57,379 ...on one hand, you're happy for them. On the other, it's hard to let go. 75 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,966 Who in God's name are you? 76 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:05,721 I'm not that fond of you either, buddy. I'm just trying to be nice for the kids. 77 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:12,686 You know what? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow. 78 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,731 I thought we'd be groomsmen. They would have asked us by now. 79 00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:18,400 When did they ask you to be a bridesmaid? 80 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:22,738 - November. - I wanna say it's not looking good. 81 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,906 - Hey, Pheebs? - Huh? 82 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:28,702 You haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet. 83 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,413 Um, well, they're not in the wedding. 84 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,248 What? 85 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:38,879 Well... 86 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,590 ...this is really awkward. 87 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,426 Oh, and I can leave. 88 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:49,931 I'm sorry, you guys. But Mike's got his brother and his friends from school. 89 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,100 So, you know, you were... 90 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:56,688 If it helps, you were next in line. You just missed the cut. 91 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,231 Oh, man. 92 00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:01,651 This is like figure skating team all over again. 93 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,573 I mean, synchronized swimming. 94 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,743 I mean... I mean, the balance beam. 95 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,244 - Help me. - Football. 96 00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,038 Thank you. 97 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,916 Oh, Pheebs, spit that out. That has pork in it. 98 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,459 PHOEBE: Oh! Oh! 99 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,545 I thought the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian? 100 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,632 Yeah, I changed them. I sent you a fax about it. 101 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,176 I don't have a fax machine. 102 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,971 Huh. Well, then there are gonna be a few surprises. 103 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:35,435 I can't believe we're gonna be the only people not in the wedding. 104 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:39,147 - I know. I hate being left out of things. - And it's a wedding. 105 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:42,067 It'll be weird if I'm not in it. 106 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:46,154 - Hey, guys, how's it going? - Fine. 107 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:51,201 We're sitting here, alone, doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow. 108 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,287 Look, about tomorrow, I've got a question for you. 109 00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:57,666 I found out one of my groomsmen had an emergency and can't make it. 110 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,502 - What happened? - Who cares? And? 111 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,797 And I was wondering if one of you guys... 112 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,216 - I'll do it! - Me! 113 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,511 You both wanna do it? There's only room for one. 114 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,347 Pick me. I look great in a tux, and I won't steal focus. 115 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:17,018 No, Mike. No, no, you wanna pick me. I mean... Watch. 116 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:20,856 Huh? 117 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:25,652 You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. 118 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,989 You know, Phoebe knows you better. I'm gonna let her choose. 119 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:35,203 Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman. 120 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,665 Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... 121 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,876 ...as he is me. 122 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,630 - Please. You're going down. - You are going "downer." 123 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,716 They say that on the figure skating team? 124 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,635 I wouldn't know. I didn't make it. 125 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,516 You know I'm filling in for Phoebe's stepdad tomorrow, right? 126 00:07:56,684 --> 00:08:00,228 - Yeah. Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that. - Oh, hey, my pleasure. 127 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,023 So, what are your intentions with my Phoebe? 128 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:07,569 - I intend to marry her. - Oh, a wiseacre. 129 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:13,700 I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? 130 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,411 Isn't that kind of unstable? 131 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,498 - No more so than acting. - Strike two. 132 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,919 You're right. She probably will support me. 133 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,338 Hey, unless we move in with you, Dad. 134 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,591 Strike three. 135 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,093 You only get one more, Mike. 136 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,016 So? What did you decide? 137 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,727 I decided to pee. 138 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,397 You have to choose one of us to be in your wedding. 139 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,942 - One of the groomsmen fell out. - Oh, no, no. 140 00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:50,737 I can't choose between you two. I love you both so much. 141 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:54,574 Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party. 142 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,452 But I don't wanna choose. It's... 143 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,579 - Okay, wait. Rach? - Yeah? 144 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:03,124 Listen, I have a very special bridesmaid task for you to do. 145 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,252 Goody! What is it? 146 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,796 Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman... 147 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:11,633 ...and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that. 148 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:14,553 What? What, what, what? No, I don't wanna do that. 149 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,638 I guess I have to find a new bridesmaid. 150 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,557 I'll do it! 151 00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,809 Okay, it's 2100 hours. 152 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,895 - Time for your toast. - Do I have time to go to the bathroom? 153 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:28,358 You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike. 154 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:33,405 In regards to the toasts, okay, you wanna keep them short. 155 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,575 Nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. 156 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,077 You just get in, do your thing, and get out. 157 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,996 Is that what you say to Chandler? 158 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,500 It's 2101, and I am not amused. 159 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,461 Okay. 160 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:52,632 The bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. 161 00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,636 Okay. Hello, everyone. 162 00:09:56,804 --> 00:10:00,932 And thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event. 163 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:05,270 Some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. 164 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:08,815 Yeah. My friend Joey and I... 165 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:13,361 ...decided to fix each other up with friends. So I... 166 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,199 Oh, okay. I... 167 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,536 I thought about it, and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen... 168 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:25,498 ...who couldn't be here tonight, because... It's not... 169 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:28,293 It's not important. Well, she's in rehab. 170 00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:33,673 Anyway. So Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike... 171 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:38,053 ...only he didn't have a friend Mike, so he just brought my Mike. And... And... 172 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,888 [CLEARS THROAT] 173 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:43,391 But despite, you know... It got good. 174 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:48,855 I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here. 175 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,732 Oh, God. 176 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:53,151 And... And moment's over. 177 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,321 So okay... Oh, no, forget that. 178 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,573 I can forget that. Oh, this is funny. 179 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:02,243 Oh, but you need to know that to get that. 180 00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:05,080 So... Oh, well, okay. 181 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,499 I... Okay. 182 00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:10,669 Okay, Monica, I can't do it like this! 183 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:15,507 This is my wedding, okay? I don't want this... 184 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,176 Or this... Or this... 185 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,595 Okay? I just wanted a simple wedding... 186 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,057 ...where my fiancé can go to the bathroom any time he wants! 187 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,021 - You know what? You're done. - What? 188 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,023 You're fired! 189 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,901 Cheers. 190 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:47,122 - Hey. - Happy wedding day. 191 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,957 Happy my wedding day to you. 192 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:52,460 Joey, listen, this is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? 193 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,004 We're gonna have hair and makeup in the bathroom. 194 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,758 I had to move a couple things in the fridge to make room for the corsages. 195 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:02,470 Man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was gonna be corsages. 196 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,309 Hi. 197 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,479 About last night... 198 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,315 I know you're under a lot of stress, and... 199 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:18,653 Well, even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... 200 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,948 My point is... 201 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,659 Well, I'm willing to take my job back. 202 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,121 Oh, well, that's okay. 203 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:33,334 I think you and I will do much better if you're just here as a bridesmaid. 204 00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:37,213 Oh, is that so? 205 00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:38,715 Okay. 206 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,342 If that's really what you want, then here. 207 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:44,679 I give you the headset. I don't really wanna give you the headset. 208 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:50,393 I guess if you're taking over, then you should probably return these messages. 209 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,812 - This is a lot. - Uh-huh. 210 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,857 But I'm sure you can handle this. I have won awards... 211 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:59,194 ...for my organizational skills. But I'm sure you'll do fine. 212 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,781 - You've won awards? - I printed them out on my computer. 213 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,201 - Hey. - Hi. 214 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,328 - Where's Rach? - She's in her room. Why? 215 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:11,039 I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation. 216 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:14,876 I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm in the seats like some chump. 217 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,546 [KNOCKING] 218 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:23,092 My God, you're breathtaking. 219 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,555 What do you want? 220 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,684 You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you? 221 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,521 Ross, please don't make this harder than it already is. 222 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,565 I'm not. I'm making it easier. Pick me. 223 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:41,903 - Chandler said it's important to him too. - Listen. Listen. 224 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,865 Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you. 225 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:49,577 Now, I promise I won't say a word. But if you pick Chandler... 226 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:53,331 ...he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time. 227 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,417 Oh, you are the lesser of two evils. 228 00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,378 Yes! 229 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:07,262 Sven, I don't understand what you're saying. What is wrong with the flowers? 230 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,764 "Lorkins"? What the hell are "lorkins"? 231 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,266 I know. 232 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,769 - Hey. - Mike, if you were Swedish... 233 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:18,439 ...and you were saying the word "lorkins," what flower would that be? 234 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,483 - Orchids? - Right there! 235 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,778 That's why I'm marrying you. 236 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,453 Hello, Michael. 237 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,622 Joseph. 238 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,293 May I have a word with you, please? 239 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,471 This is... 240 00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,473 ...great. 241 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,809 Have a seat. 242 00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,606 Last night... 243 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,902 ...I tried to welcome you into my family. 244 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:09,699 And instead, you disrespect me. 245 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,534 I cannot allow this. 246 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,914 Are you rehearsing for some really bad Mafia movie? 247 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,166 More back talk. 248 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:24,464 And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition... 249 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:28,301 ...for Family Honor 2: This A-Time It's A-Personal. 250 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:33,306 Joey, I kind of have a lot to do today. What do you want? 251 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,642 I want you to take this seriously! 252 00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:38,978 Phoebe is very, very important to me, okay? 253 00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:41,564 I wanna make sure you are gonna take care of her. 254 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,526 Joe, I love Phoebe. 255 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,862 She's the most important thing in my life. 256 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,074 I'd die before I let anything happen to her. 257 00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:55,828 That's what I wanted to hear. 258 00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,831 Because she's family, okay? 259 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,833 And now you're gonna be family. 260 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:06,172 And there's nothing more important in the whole world than family. 261 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,591 That must have been one lousy movie. 262 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,760 That was me! 263 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,349 - Hi. - Let's talk about this groomsman thing. 264 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,394 If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the aisle just fine. 265 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,521 But if you choose me... 266 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,065 ...you'll be getting some comedy. 267 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,778 Even so... 268 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,950 ...I think I'm gonna pick Ross. 269 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,910 Let me tell you why you need to pick me. 270 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,245 RACHEL: Okay. 271 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:43,251 See, when I was a kid, you know, I was always left out of everything... 272 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,462 ...and it really made me feel insecure. 273 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:50,633 I was always picked last in gym... 274 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:54,762 ...even behind that fat exchange student who didn't know the rules to baseball. 275 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:58,641 I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. 276 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,980 Anyway, if I'm the only one left out of this wedding... 277 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:08,317 ...I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back. 278 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,655 All right, fine, I pick you. 279 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,615 Yes! 280 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,745 Make "groom" for Chandler. 281 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,583 Oh, my. 282 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:29,672 No, we're gonna do it my way. Because your way is stupid. 283 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,551 All right, I got to go. I have another call, Reverend. 284 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,512 Hello? 285 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,765 - I'm glad we had this little talk. - Yes. 286 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:41,809 And thanks for all the wedding night advice. 287 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,437 That didn't make me uncomfortable at all. 288 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,856 All right, so I'll see everybody tonight. 289 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,357 - Okay. - Bye. 290 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,491 Did you guys know that there's a giant ice sculpture in the hall? 291 00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,701 PHOEBE: Oh, my God, what's it doing here? 292 00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:02,997 I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. 293 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:07,460 - What a pickle. - Oh, my God, everything's such a mess. 294 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:10,171 Why is this happening to me? 295 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:14,008 How bad do you wanna stick your tongue on that? 296 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,517 - How's it going? ROSS: Good. 297 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:27,647 I'm just getting some coffee so I'm alert for the wedding. 298 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:30,691 That's what I was doing too. 299 00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:34,028 Well, you have fun tonight. 300 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:37,031 - You too. - Oh, I will. 301 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,741 Me too. 302 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:46,666 Wait a minute. I know why I'm being such an ass. Why are you? 303 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,920 - I'm not supposed to tell you. - I'm not supposed to tell you. 304 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:54,215 You told us both we could be in the wedding? 305 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:59,053 In my defense, you weren't supposed to tell each other! 306 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:02,765 Rachel, only one of us can do it. You have to choose. 307 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,560 You and me together again. 308 00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,604 Rach, Rach? Knock-knock. 309 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,940 - Who's there? - I'll tell you at the wedding. 310 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,068 Hey, I forgot my scarf. 311 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:17,113 I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick. 312 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,408 Oh, you haven't picked yet? Oh, good, because I had an idea. 313 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:25,580 I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog, Chappy. 314 00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:29,083 What? A dog? No. Rachel gets to choose. 315 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,587 Wow, this is a tough one. 316 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,755 I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog. 317 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,927 So, what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club... 318 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:44,223 ...but the food is not? And the drinks are there but the bartender is not? 319 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:47,727 Are you freaking kidding me? 320 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,271 How's it going? 321 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,273 - Help me. - What? 322 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,276 I want you to be crazy bitch again. 323 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,779 Really? 324 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,781 Please? 325 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:05,953 - You really want me to come back? - More than I wanna get married. 326 00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:11,167 Okay, people, we are back in business! 327 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:15,087 Oh, God, I have missed you so much. Okay. 328 00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:18,090 Get your hair and makeup done. I'll take care of everything. 329 00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,927 - Hey, what are you guys gonna do? - About what? 330 00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,137 The blizzard. I just saw on the news... 331 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,181 ...it's the worst snowstorm in 20 years. 332 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,309 They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. 333 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:32,480 But the band and the photographer are coming in from New Jersey. 334 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,649 I don't think they are. 335 00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:38,527 Ha-ha! Looks like you're not gonna be in the wedding, either. 336 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,822 So sorry, Pheebs. 337 00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:57,505 - Well, the club lost its power. - The news said most of the city did. 338 00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,675 - Since when do you watch the news? - For your information... 339 00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:03,886 ...since they hired a very hot weather girl. 340 00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:07,181 I can't believe you aren't getting married today. 341 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,308 PHOEBE: I know. 342 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:13,521 It's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. 343 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,315 - Why don't you just do it on the street? - What? 344 00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:19,193 Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. 345 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:22,697 I mean, you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. 346 00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:25,574 This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted. 347 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,452 What do you think? 348 00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,331 I think I wanna get married to you today. 349 00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:38,212 Me too. Monica, do you think we could do it? 350 00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,507 Affirmative! 351 00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:51,517 Okay, let's get these chairs out here! 352 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,312 Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. 353 00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,526 Ah. 354 00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:06,574 Okay, who left the ice sculpture on the steam grate? 355 00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:11,662 MRS. HANNIGAN: Michael. MIKE: Hey, you made it. Great. Chappy! 356 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,874 - There you go. MIKE: Hi. Hi. 357 00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,919 I know getting married in the street isn't what you approve of. 358 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:24,467 No, it's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever. 359 00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,802 I crushed a pill and put it in her drink. 360 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,014 Come on, sweetheart. 361 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,018 You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. 362 00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,228 Someone has to walk him down the aisle. 363 00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:38,939 - Would this person be in the wedding? - I guess. 364 00:22:39,107 --> 00:22:40,649 - I'll do it! - I'll do it! 365 00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:44,278 Chandler, hello? I mean, aren't you scared of dogs? 366 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:47,323 I'm not scared. I'll just take little Chappy and... 367 00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:50,326 He can sense my fear! My throat is exposed! 368 00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:55,289 Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. 369 00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:58,209 He stinks. 370 00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:01,962 Level one alert! I repeat, level one, this is not a drill! 371 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:05,716 We have a situation. The minister called. He's snowed in, he can't make it. 372 00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,802 - Oh, no. JOEY: Hey, don't worry. 373 00:23:07,969 --> 00:23:10,179 - I'm still ordained from your wedding. - Really? 374 00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:14,683 Yeah. You think I'd give up being a minister and pay to ride the subway? 375 00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:17,770 Ministers don't ride the subway for free. 376 00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:21,273 I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but, yeah, we do. 377 00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,569 We have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the aisle. 378 00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,321 I'll do it! 379 00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:30,241 [CHUCKLING] 380 00:23:31,451 --> 00:23:33,494 Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. 381 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,871 Chandler, come with me. 382 00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:46,257 Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony, and Chandler's giving you away. 383 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:49,051 Oh, okay. Hi, new Dad. 384 00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:56,809 - So you ready to do this? - Oh, my God. This is really happening. 385 00:23:56,977 --> 00:24:01,605 - Uh-huh. I'm so happy for you, honey. PHOEBE: Thank you. 386 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:05,401 I love you. Wait, wait! No hugs! The dresses! 387 00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:07,278 - Oh, what the hell. - Oh, come on. 388 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,113 [MOANING] 389 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,240 - I love you guys. - I love you. 390 00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:15,661 Okay, it's zero hour! All teams execute on my count! 391 00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:19,331 Let's get this bad boy on the road! 392 00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:21,959 Is it okay I want you to wear that headset in bed? 393 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,837 I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours. 394 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,338 Oh, yeah. 395 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:29,925 Okay, Marjorie, hit it. 396 00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:43,856 - Jeez, Ross. You could've showered. - It's the dog. 397 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:49,487 Groomsman? Why are you standing there? Where's your bridesmaid? 398 00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:52,740 We've got a broken arrow! Bridesmaid down! 399 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:55,075 Oh, that's me. 400 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:02,333 - Ready? - Okay. 401 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,461 Oh, wait. Oh, no. Wait. 402 00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:12,134 Wow. Aren't you gonna be cold? 403 00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:13,636 I don't care. 404 00:25:13,803 --> 00:25:16,639 I'll be my "something blue." 405 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,020 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 406 00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:30,152 [STEEL DRUM PLAYS] 407 00:26:03,478 --> 00:26:05,312 My God. 408 00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:08,023 - Aren't you freezing? - Nuh-uh. 409 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:16,156 Friends. Family. 410 00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:18,200 Dog. 411 00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:22,746 Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. 412 00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,834 The cold has now spread to my special place... 413 00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:31,505 ...so I'm gonna do the short version of this. 414 00:26:32,966 --> 00:26:35,175 Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. 415 00:26:35,343 --> 00:26:37,595 And I know I speak for everyone here... 416 00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:41,515 ...when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. 417 00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:43,851 Who has the rings? 418 00:26:48,189 --> 00:26:49,857 Okay. 419 00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:55,779 When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad... 420 00:26:55,989 --> 00:26:58,866 ...or a regular family like everybody else. 421 00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:02,494 And I always knew that something was missing. 422 00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:06,790 But now I'm standing here today... 423 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,919 ...knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need. 424 00:27:11,254 --> 00:27:13,589 You are my family. 425 00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:25,142 Phoebe, you are so beautiful. 426 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:28,395 You're so kind. You're so generous. 427 00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:31,023 You're so wonderfully weird. 428 00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:36,570 Every day with you is an adventure. 429 00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:39,573 And I can't believe how lucky I am. 430 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:43,243 And I can't wait to share my life with you forever. 431 00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:48,749 Oh, wait! Oh, I forgot. And... 432 00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,334 ...I love you. 433 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,837 And you have nice eyes. 434 00:27:55,548 --> 00:27:57,549 I love you too. 435 00:27:57,801 --> 00:27:59,343 - Joey? - Yeah? 436 00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:02,805 Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down. 437 00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:07,101 Okay. Phoebe... 438 00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:10,020 ...do you take this man to be your husband? 439 00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:11,814 I do. 440 00:28:12,857 --> 00:28:14,316 Oh... 441 00:28:14,484 --> 00:28:18,612 Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife? 442 00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,614 I do. 443 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,785 I now pronounce you... 444 00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:27,996 ...husband and wife. 445 00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:36,839 I got married! 446 00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,887 Could someone get me a coat? I'm frigging freezing. 447 00:28:44,639 --> 00:28:48,100 [STEEL DRUM PLAYS] 448 00:28:52,313 --> 00:28:54,481 - It really was an incredible wedding. - It was. 449 00:28:54,649 --> 00:28:56,817 I kind of don't want it to end. Hey... 450 00:28:56,985 --> 00:29:00,028 ...you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage? 451 00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:02,906 I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours... 452 00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:06,827 ...and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had. 453 00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,204 - Whatever happened to Ross? - I don't know. 454 00:29:09,372 --> 00:29:11,832 Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he talked to. 455 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,335 Come on, Chappy! Do your business! Make! 456 00:29:15,503 --> 00:29:16,587 [CHAPPY WHIMPERING] 457 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,797 Make! 458 00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:22,718 I did not sign on for this. 459 00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:29,016 [English - US - SDH]