1
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,715
- Mm, hey.
RACHEL: Hi.

2
00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,425
Pheebs, what's wrong?

3
00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:13,137
Ah, I'm just so exhausted from dragging
around this huge engagement ring.

4
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:14,847
Oh, my God.

5
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,056
- Congratulations.
- Wow.

6
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:19,143
So did he get on one knee?
Did he have a speech prepared?

7
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,186
Oh, did he cry?

8
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:26,483
Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals.

9
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:31,530
Well, it was really sweet,
and, like, the most romantic thing ever.

10
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,992
Here's to Phoebe, who's found
the greatest guy in the world.

11
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,285
To Phoebe and...

12
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,953
I want to say "Mike"?

13
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,707
- To Phoebe and Mike.
RACHEL: Hey.

14
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:42,916
- Thank you.
RACHEL: Oh.

15
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,710
- Oh, and I have something for you.
- Hmm.

16
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,380
It's my little black book. It's got
the numbers of all the guys I've dated.

17
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:52,509
Oh, ha, ha. Phoebe, that's nice,
but you know what? I think I'm okay.

18
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,262
Give it to one
of your other single girlfriends.

19
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,639
I would, but you're the last one.

20
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,351
Give me the book!

21
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,396
"Pablo Diaz.

22
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,982
Brady Smith." Ha.

23
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,026
"Guy in Van"?

24
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,028
Oh, my first love.

25
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,404
Ah.

26
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,741
What does the red X next
to Bob Gremore's name mean?

27
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,785
Dead.

28
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:22,539
Oh, it's okay. No, he was old. Yeah.

29
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:26,543
And he lived a full life. He was
in the first wave at Omaha Beach.

30
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:30,798
I should've given you guys
my black book when I got married.

31
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,258
Although, it wasn't so much
a book as a napkin.

32
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,887
With Janice's phone number on it.

33
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,724
Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band?

34
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,522
Oh, yes, they are.

35
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,523
Hey, honey.

36
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,859
Hey, sweetie.

37
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,069
- Is Monica not here?
- No.

38
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,279
Oh, then I'll tell you.

39
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,990
My agency was bidding
for a big account, and they got it.

40
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,659
- It's my first national commercial.
- Cool.

41
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,871
And I don't want to brag,
but a lot of the ideas were mine.

42
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:47,374
Hell, you weren't there.
All the ideas were mine.

43
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,752
That's great.
Hey, can you cast me in it?

44
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,006
Oh, I really don't think
you're right for the part.

45
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,467
What do you mean?
I can do anything. I'm a chameleon, huh?

46
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,180
[IN OLD MAN'S VOICE]
I'm old.

47
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,641
[YAWNING]
Huh, I'm tired, huh?

48
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:09,563
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, I am hot. I'm
cold, huh? Come on, what can't I do?

49
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,983
First of all, bravo.

50
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,777
Uh, but I don't think
you're right for this.

51
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,863
The part's a stuffy college professor.

52
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,281
I can do that.

53
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,992
Hello, I'm your professor.

54
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:26,747
When I'm not busy thinking
of important things, or professing...

55
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,083
...I like to use...
Oh, what's the product?

56
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:33,879
Software that facilitates
inter-business networking e-solutions.

57
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,219
I'm cold.

58
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:44,973
- Hey.
- Hey.

59
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,643
Guess who's a finalist
for a huge research grant?

60
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,520
I'll give you a hint.
He's looking right at you.

61
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:54,399
Huh, well, unless it's the creepy guy
with his hand up his kilt...

62
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,068
...I'm gonna say, "Congratulations."

63
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,278
Ha, ha. Uh, I'm so excited.

64
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,782
Apparently, I beat out
hundreds of other applicants...

65
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,534
...including five guys
I went to graduate school with.

66
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:07,746
Not that I'm keeping score,
or anything. Five.

67
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,040
- Wow, that's great.
- Yeah.

68
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:13,752
- So tell me about the grant.
- Well, okay, it's for $25,000.

69
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,089
And if I get it, I'll finally be able
to complete my field research.

70
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:21,093
And there will be an article about me
in the Paleontology Review.

71
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,428
It'll be the first time
my name is in there...

72
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,598
...without people raising
serious questions about my work.

73
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,852
- Are you talking about the Dewer Grant?
- Yeah. Why?

74
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,188
Benjamin Hobart
is administering that grant.

75
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,399
- Your ex-boyfriend?
- Yeah.

76
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:39,987
So your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine
if your new boyfriend gets this grant?

77
00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:42,781
Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed.

78
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,575
No. No, we ended on great terms.

79
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:48,578
If anything, I think this could
help you. You know what?

80
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:51,832
Why don't we all go out to dinner,
and I can introduce you.

81
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,793
- If you think it'd help.
- Yeah, absolutely. I'll call him.

82
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,629
Now, is there anything I could
do to butter him up?

83
00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,674
- Anything he really likes?
- Hmm.

84
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,010
He does have
a pretty serious latex fetish.

85
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,262
We'll see how dinner goes.

86
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,099
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

87
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,352
- Hey.
- Hey, you want to go see a movie?

88
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,148
I told you I had to spend all day
clearing out stuff so Mike could move in.

89
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,066
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.

90
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:22,571
Now that I'm here, I might as well help
with the cleaning and organizing.

91
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,781
I just happen to have my label maker.

92
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,450
[CHUCKLES]

93
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,994
Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff.

94
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:32,497
Did you and Chandler make compromises
when you moved in together?

95
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,291
Huh, Chandler did.

96
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,794
- What does he want you to give up?
- A bunch of stuff.

97
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:39,463
And the worst one...

98
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,131
He wants me to get rid of Gladys.

99
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,425
Who's Gladys?

100
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,510
[GASPS]

101
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,431
- Oh, what a tragic loss.
- Mm-hm.

102
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:54,436
Yeah, I really hate to give her up.
Oh, I know. Oh, you should take her.

103
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,400
Oh, I... I don't know.

104
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:06,156
- Oh, what, you don't like her?
- Heh, of course I do. What's not to like?

105
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,201
I'd take her in a minute.

106
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,536
But I think that you're
giving up too easy.

107
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,331
I think that you need
to fight for her.

108
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,334
- Really, you think?
- Absolutely.

109
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,462
You say to him, "I'm sorry, Mike,
I can't live without her.

110
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,839
She means too much to me."

111
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,635
Okay, I'll fight for her. Okay.

112
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:30,305
Oh, wait. Oh, I just realized, if I do that,
that means you don't get her.

113
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,391
Damn it, I did not think this through.

114
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,188
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.

115
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,148
Oh, any word on casting yet?

116
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,485
- I told you, you're not right for the part.
JOEY: What do you mean?

117
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:47,781
Rach, don't I seem like a professor
you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?

118
00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:52,452
I'm sorry, this sounds like something
I'm never gonna be interested in.

119
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:57,541
Look, come on, please? It's not like
I'm asking you for some crazy favor.

120
00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:00,585
This is what I do for a living.
I am a professional actor.

121
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,712
Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work.

122
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,843
Here's my reel. It's got all
the commercials that I've been in.

123
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,678
- Joe...
- Uh, just watch it.

124
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,639
If you don't like it,
don't pass it on to your bosses.

125
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,434
- Fine.
- Thank you.

126
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,441
- Work, Joe.
- Damn it.

127
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,196
- What am I gonna do now?
- Just pass the tape along.

128
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,198
He's not right for the part.

129
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:32,868
If I suggest him,
my bosses will think I'm an idiot.

130
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,662
And that's something
they should learn on their own.

131
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,873
Oh, just tell Joey
that you watched the tape...

132
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,125
...and you liked it,
but your bosses didn't.

133
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,794
Then you're the good guy,
and they're the bad guy.

134
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,964
That's good. I liked it, they didn't.

135
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,385
Joey, for God's sake, go to work.

136
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,804
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

137
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,643
I can't believe I'm about
to meet Benjamin Hobart.

138
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,271
Um, I've always thought of him
as someone I'd invite...

139
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,899
...to my fantasy dinner party, ha, ha.

140
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:08,487
Do you think there's any chance
he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C-3PO?

141
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,782
Sorry, it looks like it's just him.

142
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:14,493
[SIGHS]

143
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,495
Charlie.

144
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:22,167
- My God, you look absolutely stunning.
- Oh.

145
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,420
Well, I am having a good hair day.

146
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,798
- It's so good to see you.
CHARLIE: Oh, you too.

147
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,008
BENJl:
Mm.

148
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:33,428
[CLEARS THROAT]

149
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,013
Ahem, I'm okay.

150
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,767
Um, I'm sorry. Um, Ross Geller,
Benjamin Hobart.

151
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,437
Oh, it's an honor to meet you.
I can't tell you how long...

152
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:47,067
...I've been an admirer of your work.
I mean, that Nobel Prize, uh, whoo!

153
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,860
- Ha, ha.
- Oh.

154
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:53,448
I mean, I have to tell you that you're
one of the reasons I got into the field.

155
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,492
Oh, well, uh, likewise.

156
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,663
Uh, not likewise. I'd never heard of you
until this morning.

157
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,414
But it's nice to be nice.

158
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:06,962
- Uh, shall we?
- Yeah, ahem. Thank you. Ahem.

159
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:13,218
I can't believe that you chose
this restaurant.

160
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:17,430
- Do you remember the night?
- Oh, my God. I completely forgot.

161
00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:19,224
BENJl: Ha-ha-ha.
- Oh, my God.

162
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,018
I can't believe
they let us back in this place.

163
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:26,273
[ALL LAUGHING]

164
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,779
- You weren't there.
- Ha, ha.

165
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:36,116
No, but, you know,
it's just a funny image.

166
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:41,746
You know, the two of you
in this restaurant with the hmm...

167
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:47,419
Why don't you tell Benji about your
proposal while I go to the ladies' room.

168
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,048
So tell me about it.

169
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:56,011
Okay. Well, I would like to do a dig
in the Painted Desert.

170
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,387
Mm-hm.

171
00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,181
There are still several areas
that haven't been fully excavated.

172
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,516
- Break up with Charlie.
- What?

173
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,059
What?

174
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:08,273
Did you just say,
"Break up with Charlie"?

175
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,863
Well, yes and no. Yes, I did say it.
And no, I didn't not say it.

176
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,449
Um, kind of inappropriate,
don't you think?

177
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,701
Listen, I'm sorry.

178
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:23,496
I just haven't seen her for so long,
all these feelings are rushing back.

179
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,999
I'm starting to realize
how much I've missed her.

180
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,543
And I'm gonna need you
to break up with her.

181
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,298
- Are you serious?
- If you say, yes, then I'm serious.

182
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,842
If you say, no, then I'm joking.

183
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,054
- No.
- Joking it is.

184
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:46,061
- Hi, sorry I'm late.
- Hey, how'd it go with Mike?

185
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:50,231
- Is he gonna let you keep the painting?
- Huh, no, he really hates it, ugh.

186
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,234
But he's gonna let me keep
my box of human hair.

187
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:59,866
So you gotta pick your battles.
But the good news is, Gladys is yours.

188
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,162
Wow, what's the bad news?

189
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,791
- Who's Gladys?
- Oh, she's that work of art I made.

190
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:10,710
You know, with the woman
coming out of the frame.

191
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:15,423
Ah, and Monica gets to keep her?

192
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:18,677
In her house? I am so jealous.

193
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,391
- Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too.
- Oh.

194
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:28,269
Well, I mean, sure, of course.

195
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,939
But you already gave that
to Monica, so...

196
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,901
- You know, I would give her up for you.
- No, I couldn't let you do that.

197
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,404
- No, but I want to.
- But I don't want you to.

198
00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:41,491
- But I insist.
- But I insist harder.

199
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,620
Girls. Girls. Stop.
Okay, we'll flip a coin.

200
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,248
Heads, she's Rachel's.
Tails, she's Monica's.

201
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,209
[MONICA GASPS]

202
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,460
- Tails.
RACHEL: Oh.

203
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,213
- Monica, she's yours.
- No, that landed in your food.

204
00:11:56,340 --> 00:12:00,385
No, no, that's okay.
You won fair and square. I'm so sad.

205
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:05,557
- Hey, Joe?
- What's up?

206
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,852
Bad news. I watched the tape
and passed it along to my bosses...

207
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,730
...and they weren't interested.
- Oh.

208
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,732
I'm sorry, man.

209
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:20,321
- But, uh, you watched the tape?
- Yeah, I... I liked it.

210
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:27,287
But, uh, my bosses didn't go for it.
Stupid sons of bitches.

211
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:36,212
- You didn't watch the tape.
- What? Of course I did.

212
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:39,215
Look, it's one thing not to cast me,
but to lie to me?

213
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:42,510
- I'm not lying to you. I watched it.
- Ah, you lied again.

214
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:45,805
- I watched it.
- Keep going, Pinocchio.

215
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,892
- I did.
- No, you didn't!

216
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,144
I'm telling you, I watched the tape.

217
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,857
- Did you watch the tape?
- No.

218
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,781
The selection committee has chosen
the three of you as our finalists.

219
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,618
The decision will be based on the
answers you give to the questions I ask.

220
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:10,914
We'll start with Dr. Li.
You claim the field is too reliant...

221
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:14,959
...on the Linnaean taxonomic system.
How do you propose to correct this?

222
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:18,296
I believe that the answers lie
in the osteological evidence.

223
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,298
- I plan to begin there.
- Interesting.

224
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,759
I guess.

225
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:27,305
Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some
fieldwork. Where might that take place?

226
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,183
Primarily in the Pierre Shale region
of South Dakota.

227
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:34,813
Certainly. Very well.
And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?

228
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,029
What? I... Uh.

229
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,200
Care to venture a guess?

230
00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:53,748
- May 12?
- That's not even kind of close.

231
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,126
Dr. Li, how many graduate students
will you need?

232
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,295
- Half a dozen.
- I see. And Dr. Biely?

233
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:01,798
Three for excavation,
and two for analysis.

234
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:05,802
Certainly. Dr. Geller,
which 1965 Shirelles hit...

235
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:09,180
...was later covered by
a popular British Invasion band?

236
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,809
[MOUTHS]
What?

237
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,478
What? I need six graduate students.

238
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:19,399
No, I'm sorry.
We were looking for "Baby It's You."

239
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:20,984
"Baby It's You."

240
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,904
What? Wait just a minute.

241
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:28,283
None of my questions have anything
to do with paleontology.

242
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,952
You're right, I apologize.
Scratch the last question.

243
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,329
Spell "Boscodictiasaur."

244
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:38,918
Um, I've never heard
of a "Boscodictiasaur."

245
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,129
Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.

246
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,760
- Okay. B-O...
- No, it starts with a silent M.

247
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,096
Oh, come on!

248
00:14:56,812 --> 00:15:00,481
I can't believe Joey.
I hate being called a liar.

249
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,066
But you are a liar.

250
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,361
What did I just say?

251
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,072
- Are you still here?
CHANDLER: Yes.

252
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:12,702
And I'm not just hurt, I'm insulted.
When I tell somebody I did something...

253
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:17,040
Okay, hold on, let me just stop you
right there, okay? First, you lied. Right?

254
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,792
Then you lied about lying, okay?

255
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,879
Then you lied about lying
about lying, okay?

256
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:28,593
So before you lie about lying
about lying about lying about lying...

257
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,347
Stop lying.

258
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,141
Why are you so sure
I didn't watch this tape?

259
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,518
You wanna know why?
You wanna know why?

260
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,854
Well, this is going well.

261
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,982
Here's how I know.

262
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:48,029
If you had seen what was on this tape,
believe me, you'd have some comments.

263
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,990
All right, remember,
I got paid a lot of money for this...

264
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,576
...and it only aired in Japan.

265
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,244
Ichiban.

266
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,121
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

267
00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:15,264
Ichiban, lipstick for men.

268
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:16,933
[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]

269
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,396
And that's how I know
you didn't watch the tape.

270
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,815
[DOOR SLAMS]

271
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,859
He really is a chameleon.

272
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:37,996
Well, Gladys, say hello
to your new home.

273
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,918
- Oh, my.
- Wow.

274
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:47,880
Oh, she is so nice and big.

275
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:55,263
Oh, Monica, where are you going
to display Gladys, oh, so proudly?

276
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,725
I haven't really settled
on a spot yet.

277
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,560
How about right above the TV?

278
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:05,231
That way, it will be the first thing
that you see when you walk in the door.

279
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:09,944
Yeah, yeah, and you can get rid
of that French poster.

280
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,030
- I like that poster.
PHOEBE: Really?

281
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,615
It doesn't have anything
coming out of it.

282
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:18,161
Or maybe there's someplace
for her in your bedroom?

283
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:21,039
- Oh, there's nothing above your bed.
- Are you still here?

284
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,503
Oh, hi. Hello.

285
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:31,424
Uh, have you come to ask me some
more paleontology-related questions?

286
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,218
Um, your grandmother's nickname,
perhaps?

287
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,137
Ann-Margret's pant size?

288
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:43,019
I've come here to apologize.
I think I may have let my feelings...

289
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:46,064
...for Charlie interfere
with the interview process.

290
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,357
No. Stop!

291
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,986
Anyway, I decided
to offer you the grant.

292
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:58,159
- Really?
- There is just, uh, one small stipulation.

293
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,454
- I have to break up with Charlie?
- Hey, you got one right.

294
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:08,419
- You're crazy.
- Crazy or romantic?

295
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,254
Crazy.

296
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,467
- Or?
- Get out!

297
00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:22,475
Oh, my God!

298
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,519
[RACHEL GASPS]

299
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:28,940
- What?
- Joey, what is this thing doing here?

300
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:33,945
I got her from Monica. She sold it
to me for a very reasonable price.

301
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,740
- Joey, we're not keeping this.
- But it's an original Buffay.

302
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,663
All right, fine. You can keep it.

303
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,207
As long as you don't mind
that she's haunted.

304
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,875
Hey, what? Whoa. What?

305
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:52,839
Well, legend has it, Joey, that she
comes alive when you're asleep.

306
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:58,136
She climbs out of the frame...

307
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:02,557
...and then drags her half-a-body
across the floor...

308
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:04,559
...just looking for legs to steal.

309
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:05,893
[GASPS]

310
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,354
And then with her one good hand...

311
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:12,525
...she slowly reaches up...

312
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,944
...and turns your doorknob.

313
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,739
Get that legless witch out of here!

314
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:27,331
- Hey, I sold that to Joey.
- Yeah, well, I told him it's haunted.

315
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,501
- Two can play at this game.
- Too late. You can't give it back.

316
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,920
- Oh, yes, I can.
- No, you can't, she's yours.

317
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,338
- She's yours.
- She's yours.

318
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:37,008
- She's yours.
- Hey.

319
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:42,138
- She's mine.
- She's mine.

320
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,433
You guys, you don't have
to fight over her anymore.

321
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:49,312
Whoever doesn't get Gladys,
gets Glynnis.

322
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,988
- I want Gladys.
- She's mine.

323
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,323
- She's mine.
- She's mine.

324
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:02,325
[MONICA SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

325
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,955
Look, I'm sorry
I didn't give them your tape.

326
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:12,168
And I promise next time to submit you,
whether I think you're right or not.

327
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:15,296
That's not the point, Chandler.
The point is that you lied.

328
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,298
I know. You're right.

329
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:20,051
Oh, what's it
gonna take for you to forgive me?

330
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,344
Oh, my God.

331
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,642
Oh, excellent.

332
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,020
Now what do you say?

333
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,397
Lying is wrong.

334
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,025
And? And?

335
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,570
I'm a pretty little girl.

336
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,699
I knew it. Ha, ha.

337
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,751
Your ex-boyfriend is insane.

338
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,797
- Did you get the grant?
- No. And you wanna know why?

339
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:01,342
Because your ex-boyfriend
is still in love with you.

340
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:02,551
What?

341
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:05,096
He refused me
because I wouldn't give you up.

342
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,474
Benji isn't in love with me.
I mean, he broke up with me.

343
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:12,895
- And besides, he's a very ethical man.
- Really?

344
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,482
Is it ethical to ask someone
in a grant review:

345
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,526
"Who was the voice of Underdog?"

346
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,861
I'm sure he was just joking.

347
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,364
If you don't believe me,
let's go talk to him.

348
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:26,575
I'm telling you, he didn't ask me
one paleontological question.

349
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:29,829
- Seriously?
- Oh, I'm sorry. No, he did ask me one:

350
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,164
Uh,
"How do you spell Boscodictiasaur?"

351
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:35,876
Well, if it's like the Lake Mbosco
in Congo, then M-B-O...

352
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,211
Damn it.

353
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:44,093
Dr. Geller. Charlie, what are
you doing here?

354
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,137
I want you to tell her everything.

355
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:50,016
About the deal you tried to make
with me, about the crazy questions you...

356
00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:55,479
Wally Cox.
That's the voice of Underdog.

357
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,357
Like I tried to tell you
in the interview...

358
00:21:58,525 --> 00:22:02,611
...this grant is not based on your
knowledge of pretty useless trivia.

359
00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:07,658
No, don't do that. I want you to look
her in the eyes and tell her the truth.

360
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:09,952
Benji?

361
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:15,916
It's true. I behaved horribly,
but it's only because I still love you.

362
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:19,086
And I would do anything
to have you back in my life.

363
00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:21,881
Too little, too late, Benji.

364
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:27,136
- I can't believe this.
- I never should've broken up with you.

365
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:32,350
I think about you all the time.
Do you ever still think about me?

366
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:34,143
No.

367
00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:37,188
- Yes.
- What?

368
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:41,901
I don't know what to say, Benji.
This is all so...

369
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:44,278
...romantic.

370
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,822
Or?

371
00:22:48,992 --> 00:22:51,202
I know I may be
way out of bounds here...

372
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,830
...but is there any chance
you would take me back?

373
00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,293
Maybe.

374
00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:03,589
Sweetie, this conversation is starting
to make me a little uncomfortable.

375
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:09,053
Oh, God. I am so sorry, but...

376
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:14,016
I mean, there's so much history
between us, you know?

377
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:16,602
I'm sorry too.

378
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:28,322
- I love you.
- Oh, I love you too.

379
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:33,411
Okay, that's it,
we are seeing other people.

380
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:46,590
[SCRATCHING ON DOOR]

381
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:54,765
Gladys?

382
00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:57,893
[SCREAMS]

383
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:01,647
[RACHEL LAUGHS]

384
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:05,568
For the third time this week.
Man, this does not get old.

385
00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:06,777
[RACHEL LAUGHS]

386
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:10,906
- You're mean!
- Oh, don't be such a baby. Please.

387
00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:13,492
[SCREAMS]

388
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,621
[DOOR CLOSES]

389
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,039
[LAUGHING]

390
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:24,712
[English - US - SDH]