1
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,048
- Hey, guys. I got some bad news.
RACHEL: What?

2
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:11,554
That's no way to sell newspapers.
Try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

3
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:16,017
No. Monica's restaurant got a horrible
review in the Post.

4
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,309
ALL:
Oh, no!

5
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:22,606
I didn't want her to see it, so I ran around
and bought all the copies I could find.

6
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:26,569
Man, this is bad.
And I've had my share of bad reviews.

7
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,404
I still remember my first good one:

8
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:31,991
"Everything else in this production
of Our Town was simply terrible.

9
00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:35,161
Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."

10
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,206
- Hey.
ALL: Hey.

11
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,542
Oh, my God!
Look at all the newspapers.

12
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,670
It must be a good review. Is it great?

13
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,630
Um...

14
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,010
Oh, dear God.

15
00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:55,139
But the good news is, no one
in a two-block radius will ever know.

16
00:00:56,891 --> 00:01:00,227
- What about the rest of Manhattan?
- Yeah, they all know.

17
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,439
- Oh, my God, this is horrible.
- I'm sorry.

18
00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,024
I'm so humiliated.

19
00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:08,778
But you know what they say,
there is no such thing as bad press.

20
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:14,408
You don't think that, um, "the chef's
mahi-mahi was awful-awful" is bad press?

21
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,370
I didn't write it.

22
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:22,458
- God, is he right? Am I awful?
ALL: Oh, no!

23
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,210
Hey, Monica, listen to me, okay?

24
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,713
I'm not saying this because I'm your friend,
I say it because it's true.

25
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,216
Your food is abysmal!

26
00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:17,972
- Ross?
- What? What?

27
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:21,892
- I am freaking out!
- Are you?

28
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,645
My due date is in one week!

29
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,731
- What are you doing up?
- That is seven days.

30
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:31,068
Look, I had a lot of water.
Can we do this after--?

31
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,154
No, no, no, no, Ross!

32
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,990
Please, come on.
We do not have any big stuff we need.

33
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:39,451
We don't have a changing table.
We do not have a crib.

34
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,664
- We do not have a diaper service.
- Funny you should mention diapers.

35
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,751
- I'm serious.
- Look. There's nothing to worry about.

36
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:51,463
We have plenty of time.
There's a baby furniture store on West 10th.

37
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,048
Tomorrow, we'll go there...

38
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:57,928
-...and we'll get everything we need. Okay?
- Okay. Thank you. That's great.

39
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:01,182
Wait, where on West 10th?
There's a really cute shoe store--

40
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,101
Okay. If, uh-- If you're gonna do this...

41
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,061
...then I'm gonna go do that, so...

42
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,899
- Wait, Ross! I'm sorry, one more thing.
- Yeah.

43
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:14,195
Um, our situation, you know, um,
what we mean to each other...

44
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:19,825
...and, I mean, we're having this baby
together and we live together...

45
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,578
Isn't that--? Isn't that weird?

46
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,127
Well, uh...

47
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:33,088
- I'm just kidding. You can go pee. Ha, ha.
- Oh--!

48
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:40,137
Hey, I can't remember.
Did we say we were gonna meet here...

49
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,972
-...or at the movie?
- At the movies--

50
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:46,018
- I'll see you there.
- Joey. Now that you're here...?

51
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,188
Sure, I can hang out
till I have to meet you.

52
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:53,817
- How come you're not going?
- I've got a job interview to get ready for.

53
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:58,948
- I thought you already have a job.
- And people say you don't pay attention.

54
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:02,076
This is a much better job.
It's vice president of the company...

55
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,911
...that does data reconfiguration...

56
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,580
...and statistical factoring
and for other companies.

57
00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:13,420
- Wow. How do you know how to do that?
- That's what I do now.

58
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,924
- Joey? Come taste this.
JOEY: What is it?

59
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:20,552
Remember the guy that gave me
a bad review? Well...

60
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,264
...I'm getting my revenge.

61
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,183
You cooked him?

62
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:30,229
No. He teaches a course on food criticism
at The New School.

63
00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:33,816
Before we go to the movies, I want
to make him try my bouillabaisse again.

64
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:37,194
Ugh, I can't wait to read the front
page tomorrow:

65
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:42,199
"Restaurant reviewer admits:
'I was wrong about Monica."'

66
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,535
The front page?

67
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,329
You really do live in your own
little world, don't you?

68
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,171
Do you want these delivered,
Mr. and Mrs. Geller?

69
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,716
- Oh, no, no, no. No, no.
ROSS: Heh. No, no.

70
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,468
- We're not married.
- We are having a baby together...

71
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,054
...but we're not involved.

72
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:08,517
I mean, uh, we-- We were seeing
each other a while ago...

73
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:12,646
...but then we were just friends,
and then there was one drunken night...

74
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:18,527
Or, yes, stranger,
we'd like this delivered, please.

75
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:22,865
- Why don't you fill out this address card?
- Oh, okay.

76
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,452
- I noticed you picked out a lot of dinosaurs.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah.

77
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,204
That's one of the reasons
why we are not a couple.

78
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:33,208
I chose those. I'm a paleontologist.

79
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,753
Really? That is so cool.

80
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:40,674
Oh, don't get too worked up over it.
It sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not.

81
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:44,303
Oh, no. I'm fascinated by paleontology.

82
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:48,599
- Have you read the Walter Alvarez book?
- Yeah, heh, I teach it in class.

83
00:05:48,766 --> 00:05:53,645
Oh, my God. Standing at a cash register,
I'm holding a credit card, and I'm bored.

84
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:59,109
I love your neighborhood. There's a great
gym around the corner from your building.

85
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:02,154
- That's my gym.
- I could tell you work out.

86
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:12,831
A paleontologist who works out.
You're like Indiana Jones.

87
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,962
I am like Indiana Jones.

88
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:26,887
Hi, Pheebs.

89
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,473
Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?

90
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,309
It was great!
We got everything we needed.

91
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:35,979
Oh, and Ross almost got
something that wasn't on the list.

92
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,856
Ahem, a whore.

93
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,903
- What?
- We were paying for our stuff...

94
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,240
...and this sales woman
just started flirting with him.

95
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,658
Can you believe that?

96
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:51,036
- Did she know you two weren't married?
- Yeah.

97
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:57,584
Oh, my God. Well, the idea--
A woman flirting with a single man?

98
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,380
- We must alert the church elders.
- No.

99
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:05,300
You don't understand.
You didn't see how brazen she was.

100
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,679
- Sounds like you're a little jealous.
- No, I'm not.

101
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:13,225
I just think it's wrong.
I mean, here I am, about to pop...

102
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:17,688
...and he's out picking up
some shopgirl at Sluts-R-Us?

103
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,400
Is that a real place?

104
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:24,153
Are they hiring?

105
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:28,449
- Hey, Phoebe. Fatty.
- Wha--?

106
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,368
Hey, Chandler, why so fancy?

107
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,620
Well, I got a job interview.
Big deal, too.

108
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:37,332
It's more money. I'd be doing data
reconfiguration and statistical factoring.

109
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:42,546
- I think I know someone who does that.
- Me. I do that.

110
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,382
So seriously, do I look okay? I'm nervous.

111
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:47,593
Oh, yeah. You-- Really, you look great.

112
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,429
You know, just don't get your hopes up.

113
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,057
- Why not?
- Well, the interview.

114
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,809
- What about it?
- You know.

115
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,645
You don't make a very good
first impression.

116
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,608
- What?
- Oh, you don't know.

117
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,403
- Are you serious?
- Yes. When I first met you, you were like:

118
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,738
[BABBLING]

119
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,156
I was like:

120
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,991
Shh!

121
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,577
[CHUCKLES]

122
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,537
What is it that I do?

123
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:19,249
It's just, like, you're trying too hard,
always making jokes.

124
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,127
You just-- You come off a little needy.

125
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,588
Did you like me when we first met?

126
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,841
Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to you.

127
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,302
But I am gonna run away from you.

128
00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:38,227
Hi. I'm Monica Geller,
chef at Allessandro's.

129
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,479
Still?

130
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,731
I think the things you said were unfair...

131
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:46,276
...and I would like you to give
my bouillabaisse another chance.

132
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:49,404
I don't see any reason
why I'd do that to myself again.

133
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,282
Either eat it or be in it.

134
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,493
SP0on?

135
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,620
[CLEARS THROAT]

136
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,292
- So, what do you think?
- I'm torn...

137
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:06,296
...between my integrity
and my desire to avoid a beating.

138
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:11,426
But I must be honest.
Your soup is abysmal.

139
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:19,518
Thattagirll Eh? We should get out of here,
there's a new class coming in.

140
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:22,354
Welcome to Introduction to Cooking.
Before we start...

141
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:26,316
...can anyone tell me the difference
between hollandaise and béarnaise sauce?

142
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,071
- I can.
- Okay, go ahead.

143
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,825
Well, um, they both have a egg yolk
and butter base.

144
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:39,913
But a béarnaise, um, has shallots,
chervil, and most importantly, tarragon.

145
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,874
- Ha, ha, very good. What's your name?
- Monica.

146
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:47,004
- Monica, you go to the head of the class!
- Okay!

147
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,384
All this stuff takes up a lot of room.

148
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:56,179
Hey, how, uh, serious are you
about keeping Ben in your life?

149
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,807
My son? Pretty serious.

150
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,144
[KNOCKING ON DQOR]

151
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,026
Oh, hey, Katie.
What are you doing here?

152
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:12,029
The delivery went out
and I realized they forgot this.

153
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:16,575
Ah, it must have been obvious, since it
was the only thing left in your store.

154
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,035
[LAUGHS]

155
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:24,124
Listen, to be honest, home deliveries
aren't really part of my job description.

156
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,709
Oh.

157
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:31,340
Oh, um, I actually came here
to ask you out.

158
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:35,927
Oh. Wow. Uh, yeah, that sounds great.

159
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:42,351
I'm just gonna put this back in my
pocket and pretend that didn't happen.

160
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,312
Uh, I'm free now.
You want to grab some coffee--?

161
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,732
- Sure.
- Horny bitch.

162
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:56,114
No, you're a horny bitch!
No, you're a horny bitch!

163
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,201
No, you're a horny bitch!

164
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,914
So you guys go, have a really good time.

165
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:07,668
I'm just gonna grab my coat.
And, uh, my whip.

166
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,962
You know, because of Indiana Jones.

167
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,422
[LAUGHS]

168
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:18,011
Not because I'm into S&M.

169
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,722
I'm not into anything weird,
you know? Heh.

170
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,308
Just normal sex.

171
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,106
So I'm gonna grab my coat.

172
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:39,241
So you had a good day, huh?
Big commission, picked up a daddy.

173
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,285
Are you okay with this?

174
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,455
Oh, yeah. Yeah, please.
You guys have fun.

175
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,666
- Okay. Heh.
- Yeah.

176
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,000
It was nice to see you.

177
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,212
Oh, and it was great to see you too.
And you look fantastic.

178
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,632
- Ah, heh.
- Although you missed a button.

179
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,801
Oh, actually, I, um...

180
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,095
Oh, okay, I see
what you're doing there.

181
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,893
I can't even believe this.
I really come off that badly?

182
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,564
Ugh, it's okay. You calm down
after a while...

183
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:14,234
...and then people can see
how sweet and wonderful you are.

184
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:18,155
Good. Because I'm sure this
interview's gonna last a couple of weeks.

185
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:22,659
All right, don't freak out, okay?
I will help you.

186
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:26,538
- How long before you have to leave?
- An hour.

187
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,374
- I can't help you.
- Phoebe--

188
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:34,963
We'll do our best. I'm the interviewer
and I'm meeting you for the first time.

189
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:39,259
- Okay.
- Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalanges.

190
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,262
- Chandler Bing.
- Oh, Bing.

191
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,266
- What an unusual name.
- Well, you should meet my Uncle Bada.

192
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,066
I'll let myself out.

193
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,072
H93'-

194
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,409
Your alfredo's dry.
Did you use your cheese?

195
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:09,790
When you say "use," do you mean
"eat as a pre-cooking snack"?

196
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:13,668
- And the cream?
- Cheese makes me thirsty.

197
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:19,049
- Okay. Let's move on.
- All right.

198
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:24,012
Oh. Something smells good
over at Monica's station.

199
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:29,059
My God! This is absolutely amazing!
You've never made this before?

200
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:31,561
Oh, no. I don't know anything
about cooking.

201
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,484
I had to ask what it was called
when the water makes those bubbles.

202
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,986
Wow. Hats off to the chef.

203
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,198
I'm sorry, your mouth was full.
I didn't hear what you said.

204
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,450
- Hats off to who now?
- The chef!

205
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,953
Heh, that's right!

206
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:53,208
I think you'll find if I work here
that I don't micromanage.

207
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,460
I don't shy away from delegating.

208
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:59,548
Mm-hm. That's good to know. But let's
stop focusing on what you don't do...

209
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,591
...and focus on what you do do.

210
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,806
What I do do...

211
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:13,436
...is manage to, uh,
create an atmosphere of support...

212
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,230
...for the people working with me.

213
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:18,066
I see. Nice sidestep on the "do do" thing.

214
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:21,987
- Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
- Oh, you gotta go!

215
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,906
- Okay, don't worry. You're ready.
- Really?

216
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:28,869
Absolutely! Just fight all your
natural instincts, and you'll be great.

217
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,915
Ah, Monica, my star student.

218
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,792
Heh. You called me that before...

219
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,546
...so I took the liberty of
fashioning a star out of foil.

220
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:43,008
Now, no pressure. If you like my
cookies, you give me the star.

221
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:44,968
[CHUCKLES]

222
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,722
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.

223
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,349
Wow, a star!

224
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:55,729
I know you all hate me,
and I'm sorry, but I don't care.

225
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,524
- Okay, Joey, you're up next.
- Yeah.

226
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,113
Oh, my God! This is amazing!

227
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,240
You get an A.

228
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:11,995
I got an A? In school?
Hey, I'm a dork!

229
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,582
Joey, I'm so proud of you.

230
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,919
- I think you should give him your star.
- Excuse me?

231
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,256
- He doesn't even know what he's doing.
- We're all beginners.

232
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,635
- Nobody knows what they're doing.
- I do. I'm a professional chef!

233
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,011
[ALL GASP]

234
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:31,139
Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.

235
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:34,225
What are you doing
taking Introduction to Cooking?

236
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,102
Yeah!

237
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,650
I'm sorry. It's just that, um,
I cook at this restaurant, Allessandrds...

238
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,777
...and, um, I just got
a really bad review.

239
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,988
- Oh, Allessandro's? I love that place!
- You do?

240
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:50,241
Yes, you're an excellent chef.
As a person you're a little--

241
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:54,329
- Oh, totally crazy, but you liked the food?
- Ha, ha. Very much.

242
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:58,416
Okay, then. I don't stink.
I'm a good chef! Okay.

243
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,628
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I don't want to go. I'm having fun.

244
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,381
Actually, did either of you
pay for this class?

245
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,217
Hey, if my friend says
it's time to go, it's time to go!

246
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,853
Also, I was the point person
on my company's transition...

247
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,731
...from the KL5 to GR6 systems.

248
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:26,319
- You must have had your hands full.
- That I did. That I did.

249
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,572
So let's talk a little bit
about your duties.

250
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,121
My duties?

251
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:40,917
All right.

252
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:44,337
You'll be heading a whole division,
so you'll have a lot of duties.

253
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,886
- I see.
- But there'll be 30 people under you...

254
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,514
...so you can dump
a certain amount on them.

255
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,647
- Good to know.
- We could go into detail--

256
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,858
No, don't, I beg of you.

257
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,903
All right, then. We'll have a definite
answer for you on Monday.

258
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:13,324
But I can say with some
confidence, you'll fit in well here.

259
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,536
- Really?
- Absolutely.

260
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,707
- You can relax. You did great.
- I gotta say, thank you.

261
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,711
I was really nervous. I'm told I come on
too strongly, too many jokes.

262
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,964
And then it was really hard
to side step that "duty" thing.

263
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,843
Duties?

264
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,888
Doodies?

265
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,807
Poo?

266
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,561
Poo?

267
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:47,567
Oh, my God. This doesn't count. Okay?
The interview was over.

268
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:51,529
That was the real Chandler Bing.
This is some crazy guy in the hall.

269
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:55,241
Call security! There's a crazy guy
out in the hall!

270
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,161
Poo?

271
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,997
I'll look forward to your call.

272
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,130
_H6Y-
_H6Y-

273
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,424
- You're back from your date.
- How are you?

274
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:16,346
I'm fine. But that's not important.
What's important is how was she?

275
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,724
Uh, it was fun. We just had coffee.

276
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:24,521
Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee,
a little rub-rub-rub under the table?

277
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,399
Heh, what's going on?
Do you not like Katie?

278
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:31,027
No. No, she was nice.

279
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,905
I mean, she was a little slutty,
but who isn't?

280
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,074
Well, I liked her.

281
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:41,162
Of course you did. You'd date a gorilla
if it called you Indiana Jones.

282
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:45,416
Did you get a fresh batch
of pregnancy hormones today?

283
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,921
No. It's just that-- Katie bothered me.

284
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:51,422
Why? What was wrong with her?

285
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:56,636
Ugh, there was nothing wrong with her.
All right? She was perfectly lovely.

286
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,556
- Okay. So, what's the matter?
- I don't want you to date her.

287
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:04,435
Heh, what? Why? What, are you jealous?

288
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:08,606
Yes. And not because
I want you to go out with me.

289
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,109
Because I don't want you
to go out with anybody.

290
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:16,406
I know it's a terrible thing to even think this
and it's inappropriate...

291
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:21,161
...but I want you to be at my constant
beck and call, 24 hours a day.

292
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,582
I'm very sorry, but that is
just the way that I feel.

293
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,504
- Okay.
- What?

294
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,466
I won't date. I'll, uh...

295
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,761
I'll be here with you all the time.

296
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:41,973
Really?

297
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,727
But I'm being so unreasonable.

298
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:52,734
True, but you're allowed to be
unreasonable. You're having our baby.

299
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,363
Oh...

300
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:01,034
Oh, Ross, thank you. Thank you.

301
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,578
[BOTH slc3l-l]

302
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,873
You feel better?

303
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:11,211
No, not really. You're pressing
the baby into my bladder...

304
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,713
...and now I have to pee. Sorry.

305
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,006
- Okay.
- Rash?

306
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:18,635
- Yeah?
- Just one thing. Um...

307
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:25,266
We live together. You're having our
baby. I'm not gonna see anybody else.

308
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:28,895
Are you sure you don't want
something more?

309
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:36,069
Wow. I don't know, maybe--

310
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,738
Oh, Rach,
I was just messing around. Heh.

311
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:45,328
- Like you did when I had to pee?
- Oh! Ha! I knew that.

312
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:47,664
I knew that!
I was just messing with you too!

313
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,170
Okay. Because for a minute
you seemed...

314
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:57,298
- No, no, no, no. No! It's just-- Ha!
-...like you actually...

315
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,133
That's just because
I'm such a good messer!

316
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,510
Ah! Ah, heh.

317
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,595
[BOTH LAUGHING]

318
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,059
- Rash?
- Yeah?

319
00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,352
- The bathroom?
- Right.

320
00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:17,652
I had a great time. I learned how to bake,
ate great food.

321
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:22,323
The first A I've gotten since 7th grade
and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher.

322
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:26,828
- Oh, look. Acting for Beginners.
- Yeah.

323
00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:28,663
Wanna feel good about yourself?

324
00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:30,832
- What the hell!
- Okay.

325
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,376
All right, let's start with some basics.

326
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:39,299
Can anybody tell me what the difference
between upstage and downstage is?

327
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,182
Yeah, this was a stupid idea.

328
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:54,188
[English - US - SDH]