1 00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:06,636 Do you realize we're getting married in four weeks? 2 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,671 Four weeks, baby. Four weeks! 3 00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:12,471 Do you realize you get louder each week? 4 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,782 There's still so much to do! Have you written your vows yet? 5 00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:21,283 I figured I'd just buy those. "Pat, I'd like to buy a vow." 6 00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:25,253 You know I've no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding. 7 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:31,360 - Right. Have you written yours yet? - No, but I know what I'm gonna say. 8 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:35,529 Do you happen to know exactly what I'm gonna say? 9 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:39,503 Let's do it now. It won't be hard. 10 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,536 Say what's in your heart. 11 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:51,473 Look at her go. She must love me more than I love her! 12 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:56,054 What's wrong with me? Don't open that door. 13 00:00:57,457 --> 00:01:01,518 The One With The Vows 14 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:39,964 "Monica, there are no words..." 15 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,563 There are no words! This shouldn't be this hard! 16 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:50,505 You've done this before. What did you say in your vows? 17 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:54,874 With Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. 18 00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:56,843 She made no such promise. 19 00:01:57,717 --> 00:02:02,120 I'm so pathetic. Monica knows what to say. You should have seen her writing. 20 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,552 What's the emergency? 21 00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:10,661 You have to help me. I'm supposed to write my vows and all I have is this. 22 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:14,425 I like the pretty drawing of you in the wedding dress. 23 00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:19,327 Except your breasts look kind of small. 24 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,535 Those are my eyes! 25 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,668 - Those are my breasts. - Oh, yeah, okay. 26 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:33,483 Why don't you just start with something simple, like: 27 00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:38,646 "Monica, from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you." 28 00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:40,485 I'm not sure I can do that. 29 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:43,127 Everyone, this is Chandler. 30 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,297 Hi, I'm Ross' little sister. 31 00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,531 Okay. 32 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:53,066 Okay, okay. Maybe you could start with: 33 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:56,037 "Chandler, even though we were friends... 34 00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:59,372 ...there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more." 35 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:04,107 All right, there's a nuclear holocaust. I'm the last man on earth. 36 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,449 Would you go out with me? 37 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,489 Are we allowed to lie in the vows? 38 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,159 Maybe you don't talk about your feelings back then. 39 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:22,357 Just say something about all the things that he's taught you, like... 40 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:30,599 Or all the things you taught him. 41 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,270 Everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. 42 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,447 You got one, two, three... 43 00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:37,843 ...four, five... 44 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,042 ...six and seven. 45 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,249 There are seven? 46 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:48,024 - That's one? - Kind of an important one. 47 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,055 I was looking at it upside down. 48 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,357 Well, you know, sometimes that helps. 49 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,800 Okay, now, start out with a little one... 50 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:06,706 ...a two, a one-two-three... 51 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,945 ...a three, a five... 52 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,613 ...a four, a three-two... 53 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,755 ...two, a two-four-six. 54 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:21,182 Two-four-six, four, two... 55 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,921 ...two, four-seven... 56 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,592 ...five-seven, six-seven... 57 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,166 ...seven, seven... 58 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:33,600 ...seven, seven, seven, seven, seven... 59 00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:35,137 ...seven! 60 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,574 I got it! How about saying something like: 61 00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:50,278 "Monica, when I look back over our time together..." 62 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,826 - Yeah? - I can't do everything. 63 00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:59,260 Look back over your time together. 64 00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,634 Oh, look, twins! 65 00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:07,567 No fair! I don't even have one, how come they get two? 66 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,465 - You'll get one. - Yeah, when? 67 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:11,905 I'll tell you what. 68 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:17,242 When we're 40, if neither of us are married, what do you say you and I have one? 69 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,181 Why wouldn't I be married when I'm 40? 70 00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:22,377 Oh, no. No, I just meant hypothetically. 71 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:25,489 Hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? 72 00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:26,749 No, no. 73 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:31,453 What is it? Seriously, is there something fundamentally un-marriable about me? 74 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,655 Well? 75 00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:36,926 Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack! 76 00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:40,567 I'm getting married today! 77 00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:45,877 Do you think he knew I was here? 78 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:53,809 Nice try. 79 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,749 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 80 00:05:58,658 --> 00:05:59,784 Look, Monica... 81 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:07,395 - This is not gonna work. - I bet this will work. 82 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,966 You are so great! I love you. 83 00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:28,446 What? 84 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:32,519 Nothing! I said, you're so great, and then I just stopped talking. 85 00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:37,588 - You said you love me! I can't believe this. - No, I didn't. 86 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,731 - Yes, you did. - No, I didn't! 87 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:45,170 - You love me! - No, I don't! 88 00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,066 Stop it! Stop it! 89 00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:55,045 You know, I was thinking, what if I unpack here? 90 00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:57,539 Then all your stuff would be here. 91 00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:00,313 Well... 92 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,617 What if all my stuff was here? 93 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:08,124 Then you'd be going back and forth all the time. 94 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,219 Doesn't make any sense. 95 00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:12,163 Okay. 96 00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:18,164 What if we live together, and you understand what I'm saying? 97 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,611 You wanted it to be a surprise. 98 00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:39,957 Oh, my God! 99 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,789 Chandler... 100 00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:50,763 ...in all my life... 101 00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:54,199 ...I never thought I would be so lucky... 102 00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:00,977 ...as to fall in love with my best... 103 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,905 My best... 104 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:08,581 - There's a reason why girls don't do this! - Okay, okay, okay! I'll do it. 105 00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:11,383 I thought... 106 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,028 I can do this. 107 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,200 I thought... 108 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:27,395 ...that it mattered what I said or where I said it. 109 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:33,000 Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you... 110 00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:41,047 You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. 111 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,684 And if you let me... 112 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,462 ...I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. 113 00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:00,503 Monica? 114 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:03,907 Will you marry me? 115 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,604 Yes. 116 00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:22,627 Can we come in yet? We're dying out here! 117 00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,290 Come in! Come in! 118 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,629 - We're engaged! - Yes! 119 00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:39,034 - Hi. - What have you guys been up to? 120 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,510 We were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out... 121 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,276 ...because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions. 122 00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:50,882 How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass" inappropriate? 123 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,215 How's Monica doing? 124 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:58,191 Let's say it's lucky she's got a sweet ass because she's not so good at the writing. 125 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:02,262 I can't believe in four weeks they're gonna be married! 126 00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,502 Let's just hope it works. 127 00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,365 Nine out of 10 marriages end in divorce. 128 00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:09,040 Phoebe, that's not true. 129 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,334 Yeah, you're right. How's the missus? 130 00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:15,271 I can't believe they've been together 3 years. 131 00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:16,706 That long? 132 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:20,180 Maybe it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long. 133 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,687 Hey, it's me. Coming in. 134 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,453 I've had a very long, hard day. 135 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:36,624 - I'm gonna get some chicken. Want some? - No, thanks. No, chicken. Bye, then. 136 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:45,767 Are you okay? I'm sorry. He wouldn't leave. He kept asking if I wanted chicken. 137 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,172 Chicken? 138 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,943 I could eat some chicken. 139 00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:52,715 Hey, Joe! 140 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:58,985 Can I get a three-piece, some coleslaw and some beans and a Coke? 141 00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,290 Diet Coke. 142 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:09,360 - I don't know why they didn't just tell us. - It's not like we weren't cool about it. 143 00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:12,332 You? And you? 144 00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:15,539 You cannot tell. No one knows. 145 00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:17,436 How? When? 146 00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:20,946 - It happened in London. - In London?! 147 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:26,409 We didn't tell anyone, because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it. 148 00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,711 But it is a big deal! 149 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,486 - I have to tell someone. - No, no! 150 00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:33,219 - You can't. - Please! 151 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:38,363 We don't want to deal with telling everyone. Just promise you won't tell. 152 00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,131 All right! 153 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:48,001 I can't wait to be with you. I'll tell Rachel I'm doing laundry for a few hours. 154 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,970 Laundry? Is that my new nickname? 155 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:58,006 You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big... 156 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:04,421 Oh, look, there's Monica and Chandler. Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! 157 00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:16,765 Chandler and Monica! Chandler and Monica! 158 00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:18,368 Oh, my God! 159 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,335 - Chandler and Monica! - Oh, my God! 160 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,066 - Oh, my eyes! My eyes! - Phoebe! Phoebe! 161 00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:28,869 - It's okay! It's okay! - No! They're doing it! 162 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,207 I know! I know! 163 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,747 - You know? - Yes, I know! 164 00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:35,476 And Joey knows, but Ross doesn't know, so you have to stop screaming! 165 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,713 - Hey, what's going on? - Oh, hi! 166 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:40,651 What? What? 167 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,761 Oh, God! We're just so excited that you might get this apartment! 168 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:48,326 - Actually, it looks really good. - It looks pretty good! 169 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:51,128 Get in here! Come on! 170 00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:57,338 So they know you know, and they don't know that Rachel knows? 171 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,408 Yes, but you know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. 172 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,810 Now enough of us know, that we can just tell them we know. 173 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,747 Now all the lying and the secrets will finally be over. 174 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:11,355 Or we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own. 175 00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:14,659 All right, we better go if we're gonna catch that movie. 176 00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:16,991 - Bye. - Bye. 177 00:13:17,229 --> 00:13:19,720 Bye, Chandler. I miss you already. 178 00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:27,701 Did you see that? With the inappropriate and the pinching? 179 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:28,931 Actually, I did. 180 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:32,406 So now do you believe that she's attracted to me? 181 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:36,480 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, she knows about us! 182 00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:39,913 - Phoebe knows about us! - Well, I didn't tell them. 183 00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,880 Them? Who's them? 184 00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:46,489 Phoebe and Joey. 185 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,452 Joey! 186 00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:50,994 And Rachel. 187 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:54,126 I would've told you, but they made me promise not to tell. 188 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,632 Oh, man. They think they are so slick, messing with us! 189 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,829 But, see, they don't know that we know that they know. 190 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,072 - So... - Ah, yes! 191 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:07,074 The messers become the messees! 192 00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:12,277 Oh, my God, he wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more! 193 00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:13,576 Are you kidding? 194 00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,186 I can't believe he'd do that to Mo... 195 00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:27,259 Joey? Do they know that we know? 196 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,893 - No. - Joey! 197 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:32,603 - They know you know. - I knew it! 198 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,597 I cannot believe those two! 199 00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:39,538 They thought that they could mess with us? They're trying to mess with us? 200 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:44,878 They don't know that we know they know we know. 201 00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,049 Joey, you can't say anything. 202 00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:50,119 Couldn't if I wanted to. 203 00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:54,926 This is getting out of hand! She wants me to put lotion on her! 204 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:56,389 She's bluffing! 205 00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:58,825 She's not backing down. She went like this: 206 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,564 He's not backing down. He went to get lotion. 207 00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,238 Oh, man. Aren't you guys done yet? 208 00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:14,344 The sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler, the sooner this is all over and in the open. 209 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,877 - I like that. - Okay. 210 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:20,576 Okay, show him your bra. He's afraid of bras. Can't work them. 211 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:30,287 Wow! You didn't rip off any buttons. 212 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,986 It's not my first time. 213 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,768 You go back out there and seduce her till she cracks. 214 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,663 Okay, give me a second. 215 00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,272 - Did you clean up in here? - Of course. 216 00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:49,141 Oh, you're going? 217 00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,448 Not without you, lover. 218 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:59,348 So this is my bra. 219 00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,787 It's very, very nice. 220 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,229 Well, come here. 221 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,195 I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex. 222 00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:17,004 You should be. I'm very bendy. 223 00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,810 - I'm gonna kiss you now. - Not if I kiss you first. 224 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:47,102 I guess there's nothing left for us to do but kiss. 225 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,705 Here it comes. 226 00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,166 Our first kiss. 227 00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:04,120 - Okay, okay, okay, fine, you win! - Ha! 228 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:05,984 - I can't have sex with you. - Why not? 229 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,819 - Because I'm in love with Monica. - You're what? 230 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:16,099 Love her! That's right, I love her! I love her! 231 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,301 I love you, Monica. 232 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,267 I love you too, Chandler. 233 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:33,747 I thought you guys were doing it. I didn't know you were in love. 234 00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:38,289 So that's it, it's over. Everybody knows. 235 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:42,290 - Well, actually, Ross doesn't. - We'd appreciate if no one told him yet. 236 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,892 No. 237 00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:48,329 What are you doing? 238 00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:51,696 Get off my sister! 239 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:57,139 Your friends getting married, it's gotta change things. 240 00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:59,004 You think it'll be that different? 241 00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:02,146 How could it not be? Soon, they're gonna have kids... 242 00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:05,544 ...and hang out with other couples who have kids. 243 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,015 And maybe they'll leave the city... 244 00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:11,087 ...to be near a Volvo dealership. 245 00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,350 Things change. 246 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,687 But I don't want them to move to a Volvo dealership. 247 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,698 It'll be okay, Joe. 248 00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:25,793 Sorry. I just... I like things the way they are. 249 00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,330 Who's this little naked guy? 250 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,565 That little naked guy would be me. 251 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,772 Look at the little thing. 252 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:35,344 Yes. 253 00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:40,647 Yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grownups now? 254 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,621 - Who are those people? - Got me. 255 00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:47,050 That's Nana right there in the middle. 256 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:49,523 - Wow. - Let's see. 257 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:52,322 "Me and the gang at Java Joe's." 258 00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:55,932 Monica, you look like your grandmother. How old was she there? 259 00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,962 Let's see, 1939. 260 00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:00,161 Yeah, 24, 25. 261 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:03,098 Looks like a fun gang. 262 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:11,873 Look, look, look! I got Monica naked. 263 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,847 Let me see. 264 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,352 No, that would be me again. 265 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:25,394 - Hey, you guys. - What's going on? 266 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,997 Well, we were just talking about... 267 00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:31,327 ...you guys getting married and how great it is. 268 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,371 Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If that's what you really want. 269 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:37,941 That's so sweet. 270 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:42,873 - So we both finished our vows. - Can we read them? 271 00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:46,482 Just as long as I don't hear Chandler's and he doesn't hear mine. 272 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,125 Oh, that's beautiful. 273 00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,887 Funny one! That's good! 274 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,458 Monica, will you marry me? 275 00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,035 What? I don't get it. 276 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,930 Oh, yeah! 277 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:15,069 - Man, this is hilarious! - Chandler! 278 00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,749 Don't worry, honey. We'll make yours funnier. 279 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,288 Okay, what do you guys think? 280 00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:33,827 - Dude... - I have never known love like this. 281 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,134 - You really like it? - Dude! 282 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,197 How did you write this? 283 00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,873 I stole Monica's and changed the name. 284 00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:48,474 - You can't do that! - If he goes first, he can!