1
00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:06,770
So, Pheebs, I was just at this
bachelorette party...

2
00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:11,342
...and they had a cake
that was in the shape of a man's...

3
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,478
...thing-a-ding-ding.

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,581
And I was wondering,
what would you have thought of that?

5
00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:18,579
Offensive or amusing?

6
00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:20,650
I'm not sure.
Monica, what do you think?

7
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,322
- Sounds kind of tacky.
- Damn it.

8
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:27,048
I'll see if they can cancel it. If not,
maybe they can put eyes on the "hoojies"...

9
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:30,057
...and we'll just say it's just
some sort of weird elephant.

10
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,231
Guys, you won't believe this!

11
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:38,096
- I just talked to my agent...
- Oh, my God!

12
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,634
I'm sorry. Too soon. You go.

13
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,642
I got nominated for
Days of our Lives!

14
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:48,543
- Good for you!
- Congratulations!

15
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,484
I can't believe you're nominated
for an Emmy!

16
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:55,911
- Soap Opera Digest Award?
- Nope. I'm up for a "Soapie."

17
00:00:57,924 --> 00:01:00,085
Is that something you're making up?

18
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:04,552
No, no, no, it's real!
And it has been, since 1998.

19
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,001
Okay, they said they won't
cancel the cake...

20
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:11,762
...but I was thinking we could
write "NASA" on the side...

21
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:14,599
...and then give it to Ross.
- Okay. Yeah.

22
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,299
Hey, Rach! I'm up for a Soapie!

23
00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:18,709
Oh, my God!

24
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:23,349
Oh, my God! That's the third most
prestigious soap opera award there is!

25
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:27,345
Thank you! I guess we know
who I'll take to the awards!

26
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,487
Don't kid about that!
Will all the stars be there?

27
00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:32,782
Many are scheduled to appear.

28
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:38,388
- I can't go. I'll be too nervous!
- I'll go.

29
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,395
You're getting married.
This is all I have.

30
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,969
- We should celebrate.
- Yes! And we will get you a cake...

31
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:48,801
...in the shape of a microphone.

32
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,702
With two tennis balls.

33
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,974
The One With Joey's Award

34
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:36,112
Ernest Muhlbrat hypothesized that
the velociraptor, when threatened...

35
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:40,348
...would expand its collar and
emit a high-pitched noise...

36
00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:42,322
...to frighten off predators.

37
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:43,753
Mr. Lewis?

38
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:46,164
What kind of noise?

39
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:50,793
Just a high-pitched,
intimidating noise.

40
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,598
But like how?

41
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,240
Well, we don't know for sure.

42
00:02:57,143 --> 00:03:00,772
But in my head,
it sounded something like this:

43
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:16,623
Of course, this is just conjecture.

44
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,333
Okay. That's all for today.

45
00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:25,666
Mr. Morse,
can I see you for a moment?

46
00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:29,406
Yes, sir?

47
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:33,468
I need to talk to you
about your midterm exam.

48
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,838
- I'm afraid I had to fail you.
- Why?

49
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,912
Well, you need 60% to pass.

50
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,020
- What did I get?
- Seven.

51
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:46,188
That's not so good.

52
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:50,225
No, no, it's not.
What happened, Ned?

53
00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:55,223
Maybe you can cut me some slack.
I'm sort of in love.

54
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,228
I'm sorry, but that's
really not my problem.

55
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,967
I'm in love with you.

56
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,968
That brings me in the loop a little.

57
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:10,909
That's why I did so bad on this test.
I'm having a hard time concentrating.

58
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,448
When you're up there
and you're teaching...

59
00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:16,848
...and your face gets all serious...

60
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:21,820
You look so good. When you wear that
tight little turtleneck sweater...

61
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,795
I'm your teacher. I'm sorry.

62
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:30,501
You're a student.

63
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,534
And I like women.

64
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:36,773
In spite of what may be written
on the backs of these chairs.

65
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:44,410
That guy at the counter's
totally checking you out.

66
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,278
Really?

67
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:50,122
- Oh, my God, he's really cute!
- Go for it.

68
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,657
Phoebe, I'm engaged.

69
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:55,383
I'm saying, get his number,
just in case.

70
00:04:56,863 --> 00:05:00,890
But if Chandler's in an accident
and can't perform sexually...

71
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:05,866
...he'd want you to take a lover to
satisfy needs he'd no longer fulfill.

72
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,868
Can I just tell you something?

73
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:15,841
I'm very flattered, but I'm engaged.

74
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,841
This is kind of embarrassing.

75
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,510
I actually came over
to talk to your friend.

76
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,953
You should be embarrassed.

77
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:34,867
- I thought you knew I looked at you.
- I did, but that was really fun.

78
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:40,003
"The winner is... Joey Tribbiani!"

79
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:48,505
"I honestly never expected this.

80
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:50,772
I didn't prepare a speech.

81
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:55,113
I'd like to thank my parents,
who've always been there for me.

82
00:05:55,421 --> 00:06:00,222
Also like to thank my friends,
Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel..."

83
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:01,984
- I'm fourth?
- Jeez!

84
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,721
Look at you with your
maple syrup award!

85
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:10,060
Maybe you don't tell anyone
about this?

86
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,134
No big deal.
I do that with my shampoo bottle.

87
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:14,304
- Really?
- Yeah.

88
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,304
- What award are you practicing for?
- Grammy.

89
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,436
For Best New Artist.

90
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:26,280
The Soapies people called today.
I also get to present an award.

91
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,420
So you'll get on stage
even if you don't win.

92
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:36,054
- You don't think I'll win?
- Of course I do.

93
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,692
But Favorite Returning Character?
That's a tough category.

94
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:44,334
You're up against the guy who
survived his own cremation.

95
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:48,499
No, I know I might not win.
But it's just...

96
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,705
I've never been nominated.
I want it so much.

97
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,376
You'll probably get it.

98
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:57,080
But you should start practicing
your "gracious-loser" face.

99
00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,978
When the cameras are on you,
you want to look disappointed.

100
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,747
But also that your colleague
deserved to win. Like:

101
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,094
You know?

102
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:15,232
- You practice losing the Grammys too?
- No, at the Grammys, I always win.

103
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:22,570
Hey, Mon. This woman only had
two bites of her steak.

104
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:25,300
- Want me to wrap it up for your dog?
- Oh, yeah.

105
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,172
- What's your dog's name again?
- Joey.

106
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,482
- Hey!
- How'd your date go with Jake?

107
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:35,618
Great. We couldn't keep
our eyes off each other.

108
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:40,758
Every once in a while, he'd lean over,
stroke my hair, then touch my neck.

109
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,924
Stop it. You're getting me
all tingly.

110
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:47,227
All I could think of was,
is he gonna kiss me?

111
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,158
- Did he?
- I'm a lady. I don't kiss and tell.

112
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,563
But this hickey speaks for itself.

113
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,602
Okay, I got it. I got it.

114
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:59,042
I like him so much, I feel like
I've had 10 drinks today.

115
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,438
I've only had six.

116
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:06,209
I haven't had that feeling since
I first went out with Chandler.

117
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,317
- I'll never have that feeling again.
- You sound like a guy.

118
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:15,491
No, a guy would say, "I'll never
get to sleep with anyone else."

119
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,092
I'll never sleep with anyone else!

120
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:23,761
- Are you just realizing this now?
- No. Maybe. Yes!

121
00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:28,630
I'm so busy planning the wedding,
I forgot about what I'll give up.

122
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:32,335
I'll never have a first kiss again.

123
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:34,570
You'll have a last kiss.

124
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:42,984
Can I ask you something? Has
a guy ever had a crush on you?

125
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,089
Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?

126
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:50,358
A kid in my class said
he's in love with me.

127
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:51,528
Whoa!

128
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,163
- Whoa, what?
- Ross has a boyfriend!

129
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:57,158
I do not have a boyfriend.

130
00:08:57,403 --> 00:09:01,066
There's a guy in one of my classes
who has a crush on me.

131
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,807
- Really?
- Yeah.

132
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,602
Last year, Elizabeth, now this kid...

133
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:09,303
What is it?
Am I giving out some kind of...

134
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,017
...sexy-professor vibe?

135
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,513
Not right now.

136
00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:21,858
The point is, my natural charisma has
made him fail his midterm.

137
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,993
Now I feel bad for the kid.

138
00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:27,391
I had a crush on a teacher once,
and it was so hard.

139
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:31,626
I couldn't concentrate.
I blushed every time he looked at me.

140
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:34,964
You remember what it's like
to be 19 and in love.

141
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,969
- I can cut him some slack.
- Yeah.

142
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:45,146
- How'd you get over that teacher?
- I didn't. I got under him.

143
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:47,878
Problem solved.

144
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,688
- Bye, Phoebe.
- Okay, bye.

145
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:01,662
- All right. Bye.
- Bye.

146
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:04,930
Bye!

147
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:08,298
- Bye!
- I'll miss you!

148
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,031
I'll miss you too!

149
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:19,617
We said goodbye at the door
so as not to flaunt our new love.

150
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:23,413
It's okay.
You don't have to tiptoe around me.

151
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:25,886
I've thought about it.
You know what?

152
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:29,127
I'm okay, not having that
new-relationship feeling.

153
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:32,960
- I miss you already!
- I miss you too!

154
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:40,529
That's great, but I wouldn't
trade what I have for that.

155
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:44,766
I'll be with Chandler the rest
of my life. That makes me happy.

156
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:50,112
Come sit down. We're talking
about how our relationship's deep...

157
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,909
...and meaningful.
It is, don't you think?

158
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,244
Oh, totally.

159
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,520
Pull my finger.

160
00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,857
Okay, everybody, we're back in 30.

161
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,296
Where have you been?
They're about to give out my award.

162
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,597
Oh, well, I was in the bathroom,
and Susan Lucci came out of a stall...

163
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:17,606
...and she had toilet paper
on her shoe, so I took it.

164
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,241
- Favorite Returning Male...
- This is my category!

165
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:22,971
- Got your speech?
- Got my speech.

166
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:24,511
Got your gracious-loser face?

167
00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:30,152
Try to remember, if you win,
you have to hug me.

168
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,148
Can I squeeze your ass?

169
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:34,448
On TV?

170
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,452
Yeah!

171
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,591
They say you can't go home again...

172
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:43,394
...but these four exceptional actors have
proven that this is not always the case.

173
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:47,663
In the Favorite Returning Male
character category, the nominees are:

174
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,570
John Wheeler from General Hospital.

175
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,146
Gavin Graham from
The Young and the Restless.

176
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:59,082
Duncan Harrington from Passions.

177
00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:02,917
And Joey Tribbiani from
Days of our Lives.

178
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:06,484
And the Soapie goes to:

179
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,521
Gavin Graham from
The Young and the Restless.

180
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,322
What the...?!

181
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,369
Presenting the Favorite Supporting
Actress award:

182
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,878
Joey Tribbiani from
Days of our Lives.

183
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:40,625
Any one of the brilliant actresses
nominated for this award...

184
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:45,262
...deserves to take it home.
Unfortunately, only one can.

185
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:49,832
The nominees for
Favorite Supporting Actress are:

186
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,230
From Passions, Erin Goff.

187
00:12:56,842 --> 00:13:01,142
From One Life to Live, Mary Lauren
Bishop. All My Children, Sarah Renee.

188
00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:04,041
And from Days of our Lives,
Jessica Ashley.

189
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,774
And the winner is:

190
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:09,817
Jessica Ashley from Days of our Lives.

191
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:14,551
Unfortunately, Jessica
couldn't be with us tonight...

192
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,194
...so I'll accept this award
on her behalf.

193
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:23,457
And I'm sure that Jessica...

194
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,862
...wants to thank my parents...

195
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,035
...who always believed in me.

196
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,135
She'd also like to thank my friends:

197
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:34,412
Chandler, Monica, Ross,
Phoebe and Rachel...

198
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,581
...who's sitting right there.

199
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,791
Why'd we rush out so fast?

200
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:54,932
I was this close to getting Luke and
Laura to sign Susan Lucci's toilet paper.

201
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:59,230
We had to get out of there
because... Look what I won!

202
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:04,065
Oh, my God. You stole her award!

203
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:07,973
No, no, no. I'm accepting it
on her behalf.

204
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,175
I don't think you know
what "behalf" means.

205
00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:15,385
Sure I do. It's a verb.
As in "I be half-in' it"!

206
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:23,590
- You've got to take this back.
- I should've won. I really wanted it.

207
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:28,095
She didn't care enough to come to
the thing. It could also be a Grammy.

208
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,762
No, Joey.

209
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:36,600
No one saw me take it.
There's a whole table of them.

210
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:39,207
Do you want an award you didn't win?

211
00:14:39,511 --> 00:14:43,641
No, I want an award I did win.
But nobody's given me any of those!

212
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:48,244
If I put it up, when people come over,
they'll see it...

213
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:49,852
...and think I won it.

214
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:52,885
Joey, it says
"Best Supporting Actress."

215
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,352
I can scratch that right off.

216
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,894
This is wrong.
You have to take it back.

217
00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:03,430
You don't want to win an award
this way. You're very talented.

218
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:08,603
Someday you'll win one of these for
real and that one will mean something.

219
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,840
- Oh, all right.
- All right? Thank you.

220
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,075
- I'll take it back tomorrow.
- Thank you.

221
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,828
If I can't have it,
you can't have it!

222
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:41,236
- Professor Geller?
- Yes, Mr. Lewis? How can I help you?

223
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,668
I know I didn't do well
on my midterms and stuff.

224
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:47,902
But I was hoping you could
change my grade.

225
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:50,512
And why, exactly, would I do that?

226
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,779
Because I'm in love with you.

227
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:56,621
What?

228
00:15:57,556 --> 00:16:01,048
Yeah. I'm all in love
with you and stuff.

229
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,820
- So could you change my grade?
- No!

230
00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:08,923
Why not? You changed Ned's grade.

231
00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:13,001
That's different. Because he was
actually in love with me.

232
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:16,138
No, he's not!
He's totally yanking your chain.

233
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,866
He's done this with
three other teachers.

234
00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:22,747
- What?
- He's got a girlfriend.

235
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:27,314
I can't believe someone
would do that for a grade.

236
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:28,679
I know.

237
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,216
It's awful.

238
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,624
I love you.

239
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,420
- All right.
- What? It's true.

240
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:43,567
Oh, God... Okay. Oh, you love me?
You love me?

241
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,330
All right, fine. You love me so much,
come over here and give me a kiss.

242
00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:07,186
You got an 80! You didn't even fail!
Have some self-respect!

243
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,395
- Have you seen Chandler?
- No, why?

244
00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:16,533
I keep thinking about all
the things I won't have.

245
00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:19,531
It's freaking me out.
I don't know what to do.

246
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:20,829
Don't sweat it.

247
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:25,600
Chandler's not around, so get it
out of your system. That guy's cute.

248
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,836
Come on, I'm serious.

249
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:34,210
- I've got to talk to him about this.
- That's the last thing you want to do.

250
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:38,020
- Why?
- Because you're marrying him!

251
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:40,622
You gotta help me out here.

252
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:44,320
I've never been engaged.
I've never really been married.

253
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:47,087
I can only tell you
what my mother told me.

254
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:51,462
When you have doubts or fears or
anxieties about a relationship...

255
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,205
...don't communicate them
to your husband.

256
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,741
I'm not supposed to share
my doubts and fears...

257
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:01,877
...with the guy I'm spending
the rest of my life with?

258
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,739
That is correct. Yes.

259
00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:08,076
You're supposed to put all that stuff
in a little box in your mind...

260
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:09,447
...and lock it up.

261
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,117
- Your mother told you this?
- Yes.

262
00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:16,691
The woman who married a bunch of times
and killed herself when you were 13?

263
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,497
Oh, my God, you're right.

264
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,427
Tell Chandler.
Hurry, before it's too late!

265
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:27,161
Wait! Does this also mean that
putting out doesn't get you love?

266
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:35,141
- I'm gonna meet Jessica Ashley!
- Wait, wait.

267
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,905
Rach, please be cool, okay?
I work with this woman.

268
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,847
Okay, I'm totally cool.

269
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:42,818
Come in.

270
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,685
- Hey, Jessica.
- Hey, Jess.

271
00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:49,220
This is my friend Rachel.

272
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:50,951
- Hi.
- What's up?

273
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:57,566
Here's your Soapie.
I accepted it for you.

274
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:01,602
Oh, my God. I won?
Do you have any idea what this means?

275
00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:07,971
You're not gonna put it
on your shelf or anything?

276
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:12,343
No, I try to save that for real
awards. Now if you'll excuse me?

277
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,144
- Take it back?
- Absolutely.

278
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:23,692
Yeah, you do!

279
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,399
Honey?
As we get closer to the wedding...

280
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,068
...is there anything
you'd like to share?

281
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:36,067
Okay. I think the centerpieces
are too big.

282
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:39,004
You're wrong.
The centerpieces are fine.

283
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:44,346
- Do you ever get scared at all?
- Kind of. They're really big.

284
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:51,087
Doesn't it freak you out that you'll
never be with anybody new again?

285
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:52,955
What?

286
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,822
I love you so much.

287
00:19:57,162 --> 00:20:00,928
Sometimes it bothers me that
I'll never have that feeling.

288
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,168
When you first meet someone...

289
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:06,767
...and it's new and exciting.
You know that rush?

290
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,175
No, when I first meet somebody...

291
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:16,575
...it's mostly panic, anxiety
and a great deal of sweating.

292
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:19,743
Okay. But you're a guy.

293
00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:23,978
Aren't you freaked out that you'll
never sleep with anybody else?

294
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,555
Sleeping with somebody, no.

295
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:30,523
Anxiety, panic and, I'm afraid,
even more sweating.

296
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,123
Even with me?

297
00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:37,768
I was dangerously dehydrated the
first six months of our relationship.

298
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:44,072
For me, the rush is knowing that we'll
be together the rest of our lives.

299
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,073
- Really?
- Well, yeah.

300
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:52,013
Knowing you're having these thoughts,
we're back to panic, anxiety and...

301
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,516
...I'll definitely need
some kind of sports drink.

302
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:01,192
Come here. Oh, you don't
have to worry.

303
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:05,954
Besides, you know what? I'll have
a lot of new things with you.

304
00:21:06,231 --> 00:21:10,497
The first time we buy a house. Our
first kid. Our first grandkid.

305
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:13,134
Water. Water. Water.

306
00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:17,773
Mr. Morse? Can I speak to you
for a moment?

307
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:24,811
That was a great lecture today.
Did you get a little haircut?

308
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:28,451
Yeah, yeah. Do you like it?
Do you love it?

309
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,685
I want you to know I'm
changing your grade back.

310
00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:35,188
What? Why?

311
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:38,985
I know what you're trying
to pull here. It won't work.

312
00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:43,428
I'm not trying to pull anything.
Look, I love you, dude.

313
00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:48,667
I'm not even gonna talk about this.
This little "thing" is over.

314
00:21:48,907 --> 00:21:53,310
I know you have a girlfriend.
And I know about the other professors.

315
00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:56,843
How do you think that makes me feel?
You used me!

316
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:59,346
You don't love me and you never did!

317
00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:05,021
Professor Winston.
Professor Frederickson.

318
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,024
I'll be right with you.

319
00:22:09,294 --> 00:22:12,491
Don't make this worse and I'll
give you a "C." Shall we?

320
00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,030
I'll be out in a second.

321
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,011
"It's just so unexpected!

322
00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:35,142
I'll tell you, it's such
an honor to just be nominated...

323
00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:37,651
...for a Nobel Prize.

324
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:43,384
And, you know, to win one
for a massage!

325
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:47,559
Especially just after winning a
Tony Award for Best Actress..."

326
00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:49,562
Our reservations are at 8.

327
00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:53,237
"...in Reservations at Eight
by Neil Simon.

328
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:56,999
Thank you, Neil.
Thank you for the words."

329
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,236
Finish this later.
We're gonna be late.

330
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:03,607
Please don't play the music.
Just one more thing.

331
00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:07,410
"Live from New York,
it's Saturday Night!"