1 00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,331 - Hey. - Hi. 2 00:00:06,639 --> 00:00:10,541 - What are you doing? - I was thinking of moving the couch. 3 00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,072 Why would you want to do that? 4 00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:14,610 So there'd be a decent place for me to sit? 5 00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:19,884 - Rach, there is a decent place. - And your lap does not count. 6 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,223 - Come on, help me move this. - No, no, no. 7 00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:25,713 - No? - No. 8 00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:27,550 Rosita does not move. 9 00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,865 I'm sorry. Rosita? As in...? 10 00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,329 As in "Rosita does not move." 11 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,569 It's just a chair. What's the big deal? 12 00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:41,136 It's the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen... 13 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:46,209 ...and it's at an angle where you don't get any glare coming off Stevie. 14 00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:48,574 Stevie the TV? 15 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,647 - Is there a problem? - No. 16 00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:57,014 What does he know? 17 00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:00,349 Come on, Rosita. Us chicas gotta stick together. 18 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,100 You bitch! 19 00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:15,965 The One Where Rosita Dies 20 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,200 Hey, you know what's weird? 21 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,073 After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people... 22 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,579 ...you're gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law, Ross." 23 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:01,015 Not "my friend, Ross," "brother-in-law, Ross." 24 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,313 That's weird, isn't it? 25 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,714 Couldn't I just say, "This is Ross"? 26 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,917 Sure, do whatever you want. 27 00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:10,160 Hey, Ross? 28 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,694 I checked the real estate section. 29 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,625 Look at this. 30 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:16,495 Looks like Mom and Dad's house. 31 00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:19,966 Even has a tree with a broken limb out front. 32 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,869 And the window in the attic... 33 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:26,236 Oh, my God! 34 00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:29,579 What happened to the window in the attic? 35 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:34,013 - I can't believe they're selling it. - And they didn't tell us. 36 00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:36,721 What happened to the window in the attic? 37 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:43,091 Hello, Dad? Monica and I just saw the house in the paper. 38 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,128 Yes, we're surprised. 39 00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:49,364 Who did you leave a message with? 40 00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:51,599 Sorry! 41 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,536 Joey, Joey, I'm so sorry. 42 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,940 I told you not to move it! How would you feel if, say... 43 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:02,478 ...I wanted to move your mom, okay... 44 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,650 ...and you said, "Don't," and I did it anyway... 45 00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,715 ...and her head fell off? 46 00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:09,883 I'll buy you a new one, okay? 47 00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:13,421 We'll go to the store and get you a new chair right now. 48 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,831 She's not even cold yet. 49 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,469 Wouldn't Rosita have wanted you to move on? 50 00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:29,003 I mean, you know, she did always put your comfort first. 51 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,475 That's true. 52 00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:37,409 - Okay, you ready? - Yeah. 53 00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:40,946 I don't want Stevie to see her like this. 54 00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:48,086 I can't believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. 55 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:51,058 Man, some stranger's gonna be in my room. 56 00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:54,026 For 15 years they kept it as a shrine to you. 57 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:56,666 It's time the velvet ropes came down. 58 00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,269 They kept your room a while. 59 00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:03,874 Please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out. 60 00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:08,079 I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria's Secret catalogs? 61 00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,610 Not a gym. 62 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:13,647 - Come on. You know they love you. - As much as they love you? 63 00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:17,788 They thought she was barren until I was born. It's not my fault. 64 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,089 I hate this year. 65 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:25,888 What's wrong with this year? 66 00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:29,293 It's February and I've only given two massages... 67 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,730 ...and they were both horrible tippers. 68 00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:33,766 That was me and Ross. 69 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,835 Oh, that's right. 70 00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:39,909 If you want some extra cash... 71 00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:43,512 ...some college friends made good money doing telemarketing. 72 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:46,685 That's a great idea. You're really good on the phone. 73 00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,616 It'd be better than the last telephone job I had. 74 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,619 I probably won't have to say "spank" as much. 75 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:57,924 What? 76 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,058 Oh, yeah, like you never called. 77 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:10,271 This is very easy. You read from the script... 78 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:13,010 ...and try to sell as much toner as you can. 79 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,803 Okay, I can do that. 80 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,242 By the way, I love my office. 81 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,419 - Why don't we do a trial run? - Oh, okay. 82 00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:24,783 All right. 83 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,816 Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies. 84 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:31,861 - Can I speak to your supply manager? - I'm the supply manager. 85 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:34,223 I'd like to talk about your toner needs. 86 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:35,434 We don't need any. 87 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,636 Okay, sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. 88 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:39,966 Yeah, you're right. This is easy. 89 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:43,106 Okay. What was wrong with that call? 90 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,605 Oh, well, all right. 91 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:48,142 No offense, but you were kind of rude. 92 00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:52,311 They always say they don't need toner. That's okay. 93 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:56,885 Whatever they say, you can find the answer to it, here in the script. 94 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,488 So I think you're ready to sell toner. 95 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,660 - Do you have any last questions? - No. 96 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,088 Wait, yes, I do have one question: 97 00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:05,830 What is toner? 98 00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:10,300 Joey? 99 00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:13,297 Joe? 100 00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:19,338 Full bag? 101 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,142 Beer's still cold. 102 00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:27,752 Something terrible must have happened here. 103 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:37,592 Oh, no, no, no! 104 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,891 Stevie, I was never here. 105 00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:50,039 - Dad? - I'm here! 106 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,108 - Hey. - Hi. 107 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:56,473 Seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work. 108 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,911 We can't believe you're selling the house. 109 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:00,880 Time for a new family to start here. 110 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,212 I hope their check clears before they find the crack... 111 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:07,119 ...in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling. 112 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,758 Let's grab our stuff and get the hell out of here. 113 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:15,597 - Sorry we can't store your things. - Oh, it's okay. 114 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,894 I can't wait to see everything again. 115 00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,001 I don't know what's down here. 116 00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:23,766 But there are six or seven Easy-Bake Ovens in the attic. 117 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,642 I used to love to play restaurant. 118 00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,848 Not as much as you loved to play "uncooked batter eater." 119 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:35,143 You can't expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies. 120 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:39,222 So I think your boxes are over here. 121 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,756 Oh, great. 122 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,619 Hey... 123 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,762 ...whose cigarettes are these? 124 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,767 I don't know. 125 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:51,296 They must be your mother's. 126 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:56,098 But please, please don't ask her. I'll throw these away. 127 00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:03,109 Cool! Dad, my report cards! 128 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,678 Hey, check this out. 129 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:09,821 Math, "A." Science, "A." History, "A." Gym... 130 00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:18,256 My rock polisher! 131 00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:21,565 Oh, look, there's your old makeup kit. 132 00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:27,335 It's a clown kit. Clown kit! 133 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,542 But the white seems to be untouched. 134 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,381 - Uh-oh. - What? 135 00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,711 You know how the garage floods every spring? 136 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:43,888 How are you ever gonna sell this place? 137 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,315 I think I accidentally used Monica's boxes... 138 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,891 ...to keep the water away from the Porsche. 139 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,626 Oh, no, Dad. Dad? 140 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,766 What the... 141 00:08:57,069 --> 00:09:01,165 Oh, God. Everything's ruined! 142 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,533 Dad, she's gonna be crushed. 143 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,346 You don't secretly smoke, do you? 144 00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:10,478 No. 145 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,877 So it's just your mother then. 146 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:25,859 Hi. This is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies. 147 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,930 Can I speak to your supply manager, please? 148 00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,833 Earl. Thanks. 149 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:36,372 Hi, Earl. This is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies. 150 00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:39,042 I'd like to talk to you about your toner needs. 151 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:41,707 I don't need any toner. 152 00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:47,217 I hear what you're saying, but at our prices, everyone needs toner. 153 00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:49,944 Not me. 154 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,950 May I ask why? 155 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:54,624 You want to know why? 156 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,556 You want to know why? 157 00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,661 I surely do. 158 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,264 Okay. 159 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,491 I don't need any toner... 160 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,703 ...because I'm gonna kill myself. 161 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,408 Is that because you're out of toner? 162 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:25,514 Okay, so no toner today. Thanks anyway. Bye-bye. 163 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:29,991 Wait, wait! I can't let you hang up. Just please talk to me. 164 00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:31,588 Well... 165 00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:34,763 I only had one thing to do today. 166 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:40,430 I guess I could push it back. 167 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,465 Yeah. Now, why do you want to kill yourself? 168 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,944 I've been working for 10 years now at this... 169 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,114 ...meaningless, dead-end job... 170 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:53,283 ...and nobody here even knows that I exist. 171 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,853 Chandler? 172 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,226 I'm sorry? 173 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,126 Look... 174 00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,730 ...I'm sure that people know you exist. 175 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,001 Oh, yeah? I work in a cubicle... 176 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:11,667 ...surrounded by people. 177 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:15,896 I've been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself... 178 00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:19,335 ...and no one's even looked up from their desk. Hang on. 179 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,273 Hey, everybody... 180 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,913 ...I'm gonna kill myself. 181 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,943 I'll get back to you. 182 00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:30,515 I got nothing. 183 00:11:30,823 --> 00:11:31,812 Wait. 184 00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,350 Hey, Marge. 185 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,093 Nothing. Nothing. 186 00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:49,265 Good chair. 187 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,308 Now, if anybody asks... 188 00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:54,171 ...your name is Rosita. 189 00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:15,529 Come on, Joey. I just bought you a new chair, the most expensive one in the store. 190 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,829 You know what I was thinking? We could name her Francette. 191 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,064 Francette? 192 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,533 What is she, a couch? 193 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,845 Poor thing. Cut down in her prime. 194 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:35,953 Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. 195 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,656 Maybe we should move Rosita out of here. 196 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,051 Start the healing process. 197 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,628 Yeah, I guess you're right. 198 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:46,521 Maybe I'll take her down to the incinerator. 199 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,560 It's gonna be so sad. 200 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,962 And kind of cool. 201 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,890 She's healed! 202 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:20,030 - That's weird. - No, it's not weird. 203 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:21,995 It's a miracle! 204 00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:25,865 It's not a miracle. I'm sure there's an explanation. 205 00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:30,098 There is. If your heart is pure, wondrous things can happen. 206 00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,206 - I don't... - Can you tell me how this happened? 207 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,617 - Well, no. - Miracle. 208 00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:44,587 No, you know what, maybe somebody came in here and fixed it. Or something. 209 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,292 Someone like an angel? 210 00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:56,001 That's right, Joey. The chair angel came in and healed your chair. 211 00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:00,336 Get your non-believer ass out of my chair! 212 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,984 She'll understand. I didn't do it on purpose. 213 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:14,686 Dad, that won't matter to her. 214 00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,180 Look, all my stuff is safe and dry. 215 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:18,854 And all her stuff is... 216 00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:21,820 ...growing new stuff. 217 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,659 This is the kind of thing... 218 00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:26,898 ...that makes her think you love me more than her. 219 00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:28,963 My God. Does she think that? 220 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,260 - Can you blame her? - I don't know. 221 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:34,870 We may have favored you unconsciously. You were a marvel. 222 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:38,271 - The doctors said your mom couldn't... - I don't want to hear it. 223 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,978 - Really? - Well, not right now. 224 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:45,546 Monica came here for some memories. Damn it, we'll give her some. 225 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,477 Okay, grab... 226 00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:50,688 Grab some boxes. We'll take stuff from mine... 227 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:54,983 ...and whatever we can pass off as hers, we'll put in there. 228 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,693 - Like, this. She could have made this. - Sure. 229 00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:01,298 And this, she could have won this. 230 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,491 - This could have been hers. - Sure. 231 00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:06,631 - Here, what about this? - Your makeup kit? 232 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,272 I'd feel better. 233 00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:16,979 I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself. 234 00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:22,787 Yeah. Me too. 235 00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:30,117 - Hey, how's the miracle chair? - Fine. 236 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:35,433 You know, this thing has speakers in the headrest? 237 00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:36,963 - No, really? - Yeah. 238 00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:39,500 You can hook it to the TV and you get radio. 239 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,868 My chair heals itself. 240 00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:54,174 Earl, you're not hearing me. All I'm saying is, you're not alone, all right? 241 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,615 Everybody hates the people they work with. 242 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,253 Hey, guy. 243 00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:05,861 Wait, that sounded like someone being nice to you. 244 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:09,091 No, that's just the "hey, guy" guy. 245 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:12,998 He says that to everybody. He's the worst. 246 00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:15,799 I'd like to take him with me. 247 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:18,972 All right. Let's just forget about the people at the office, okay? 248 00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:22,805 There's gotta be someone worth sticking around for. 249 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:26,779 What about family or friends? Maybe a girlfriend? 250 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:28,713 Yeah, right. 251 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,886 Oh, sorry. Boyfriend? 252 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:35,552 - Oh, God. - No, whatever. Anything. 253 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:36,922 Hey, guy. 254 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,560 Yeah, he's gotta go. 255 00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:44,093 Okay, I should... 256 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,803 ...be getting back to my thing now. 257 00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,539 See you. 258 00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:51,402 I'm not finished! Don't you dare hang up on me! 259 00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,211 The new girl's good. 260 00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,213 Hey, guys. 261 00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:03,047 I just whipped us up some Easy-Bake treats. They should be ready in about three days. 262 00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:06,052 That's a good one! You hear that, Ross? Three days! 263 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:10,494 - Oh, this'll make a great memory. - Okay. 264 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,357 Which boxes are mine? 265 00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:15,032 - These are yours right here. - Okay. 266 00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,201 A coloring book. 267 00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,035 You loved that thing. 268 00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:21,831 You never went anywhere without... 269 00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,904 ...without that coloring book. 270 00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:25,201 Really? 271 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,944 Looks like I had trouble staying in the lines. 272 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,612 Nuh-uh! 273 00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:34,918 - An old glove? - Yeah, you loved that glove. 274 00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:38,887 You took it every place you went. You never went anyplace without the glove. 275 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:40,782 Wow, look at this. 276 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,688 I can't believe I even fit into this shirt. 277 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,426 Oh, this is yours. 278 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,329 I don't know how that got in there. 279 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,636 This isn't mine. 280 00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,441 Hey, this isn't my stuff. 281 00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,837 Ross, these are your boxes. 282 00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:05,941 Where are my boxes? 283 00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,143 Your boxes are... 284 00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:12,379 - What? - Dad? 285 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:18,021 The garage flooded, sweetie, and ruined your boxes. I'm sorry. 286 00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:19,462 Just mine? 287 00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:21,222 I'm afraid so. 288 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,628 Why wasn't Ross' stuff ruined? 289 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:28,896 And if you say the words "medical marvel," I'm going to Easy-Bake your head. 290 00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:34,470 I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche. 291 00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:37,273 Ross' stuff is fine, but I have no memories... 292 00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:40,314 ...so you could keep the bottom of your car from water? 293 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:43,010 There was also leaves and gook and stuff. 294 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,120 I can't believe this! 295 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,826 Screw it. I'm having one. 296 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,838 - Hey, Chandler. - Hey. 297 00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:08,035 How'd you like to sit in a chair that reclines... 298 00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:10,245 ...has a rolling massage... 299 00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:12,643 ...and speakers in the headrest? 300 00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,819 I've tried that so many times... 301 00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:17,783 ...they won't even let me in the store anymore. 302 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:22,384 What if I said you could do it in my apartment? 303 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:23,788 Are you telling me... 304 00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:27,225 ...you bought the chair that makes all others obsolete? 305 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:32,061 The chair that Sit Magazine called "Chair of the Year"? 306 00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:34,804 I just purchased... 307 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:39,066 ...the La-Z-Boy E-Cliner 3000. 308 00:19:39,311 --> 00:19:41,438 Well, that's awesome! That's great! What made you do it? 309 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,513 It's a long story, but, I broke Joey's chair... 310 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,243 Whoa, whoa, whoa. You broke Joey's chair? 311 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:50,682 I thought I did, that's why I replaced it with mine. 312 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,623 That's how it got fixed! 313 00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:58,062 You thought that elves came in and fixed it? 314 00:19:58,297 --> 00:19:59,559 No. 315 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:01,627 Angels. 316 00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,634 I'm getting my chair back. 317 00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:10,836 Well, looks like it wasn't healed after all! 318 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,512 I guess this chair's mine now. 319 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,206 Joey, you broke my chair! 320 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,349 Your chair? 321 00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:23,452 He thought he broke it, so he switched chairs. 322 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,247 So there was no miracle? 323 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,185 No, Joe. No miracle. 324 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,323 Oh, no! This is devastating! 325 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:35,395 My faith is shaken. I'm glad I have a new chair to get me through this. 326 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,663 Nice try, but you don't get that chair anymore. 327 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,703 That is my chair now. You can sit on my lap. 328 00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,005 No, I take that back! 329 00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:48,605 I think I should get the chair. 330 00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:54,117 - How do you figure? - You broke a chair and you broke a chair. 331 00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:57,379 The only one here that hasn't broken a chair is me. 332 00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,080 No, no, no. This chair's not going anywhere. 333 00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:03,022 - Where's the logic in that? - The logic... 334 00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:05,526 ...is that there are two of us... 335 00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:09,360 ...and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half. 336 00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:13,065 So Joey breaks my chair, and I get nothing? 337 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,674 That's right. 338 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:22,273 What are you guys, like, a gang or something? 339 00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:26,508 Yeah, we are. 340 00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:29,853 We're the Cobras. 341 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:36,825 Where can I find Earl? He's the supply manager here. 342 00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:38,392 I don't know any Earl. 343 00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:40,791 I'm right here! 344 00:21:44,169 --> 00:21:45,466 Earl? 345 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,534 I'm Phoebe. 346 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,069 Phoebe? 347 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,504 The lady who sells toner? 348 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:55,279 Look, you can't kill yourself. 349 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,472 Look, I really appreciate you coming down... 350 00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:00,275 No, I can't let you do it. 351 00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:04,544 - Why? - Because, fate made me call you today. 352 00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:06,382 I thought it was toner. 353 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:11,190 Think about it, okay? This isn't even my regular job. 354 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,462 My first day, you're my first call. 355 00:22:14,733 --> 00:22:18,134 Somebody else may have hung up, but I wouldn't do that... 356 00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:20,132 ...because I know about this stuff. 357 00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:22,965 - My mom killed herself. - Really? 358 00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:26,010 - How? - I'm not gonna give you tips. 359 00:22:27,946 --> 00:22:29,675 Don't you see that this... 360 00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:33,510 ...all came together so I could stop you from doing this? 361 00:22:34,386 --> 00:22:37,878 - Couldn't it just be a coincidence? - No, it's fate. 362 00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:41,691 It doesn't really seem like enough to be fate. 363 00:22:41,993 --> 00:22:43,051 Oh, well. 364 00:22:43,295 --> 00:22:45,024 Okay, here's a weird thing. 365 00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:49,233 My mother was also a supply manager. 366 00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:52,532 I'm actually the office manager. 367 00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:54,635 Oh, my God! So was she! 368 00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:56,965 And get this, okay. 369 00:22:57,275 --> 00:23:00,642 Your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl. 370 00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:03,005 Puh-Earl. 371 00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:05,840 Was there anything else? 372 00:23:06,084 --> 00:23:07,051 Sure. 373 00:23:09,755 --> 00:23:10,653 Where're you from? 374 00:23:10,922 --> 00:23:13,413 - Philadelphia. - Oh, my God, so was she! 375 00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:16,955 I've got goose bumps. 376 00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:20,588 - Really? - I'm wearing layers, and it's warm. 377 00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:24,394 These jerks might not care about you... 378 00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:28,332 ...but the universe does, and that says a lot. 379 00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:31,832 Did you hear that? 380 00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:34,676 I don't need you guys to care about me... 381 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:36,881 ...because the universe cares! 382 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,310 The whole universe! 383 00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:47,390 I really wish they'd care a little bit. 384 00:23:48,326 --> 00:23:50,886 You know, I don't think it's you. This is a freaky place. 385 00:23:52,063 --> 00:23:53,826 Hey, guys! 386 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,458 - Oh, no, it's you. - Yeah. 387 00:23:58,804 --> 00:24:00,567 Oh, this is terrible. 388 00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:02,704 Everything is destroyed. 389 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:05,007 Look at this. 390 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:09,304 It meant enough for me to save, and now I can't tell what it is. 391 00:24:10,515 --> 00:24:12,415 It's still soft. 392 00:24:14,886 --> 00:24:16,649 What do you think this is? 393 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,053 I think it was a mouse. 394 00:24:28,166 --> 00:24:30,896 - How are you, honey? - How do you think I am? 395 00:24:31,169 --> 00:24:33,467 You've wrecked my childhood memories... 396 00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:35,299 ...you love Ross more than me. 397 00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:38,201 And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face. 398 00:24:40,378 --> 00:24:44,439 Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross. 399 00:24:44,683 --> 00:24:46,480 I'm sorry about what happened... 400 00:24:46,785 --> 00:24:49,982 ...and I probably can't make it up to you... 401 00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:52,017 ...but here's a start. 402 00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:57,795 - What's this? - It's the key to my Porsche. 403 00:24:58,063 --> 00:25:00,054 Well, the key to your Porsche. 404 00:25:01,266 --> 00:25:02,324 What? 405 00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:04,057 What?! 406 00:25:05,136 --> 00:25:09,869 I've considered getting rid of it. I saw my reflection the other day. 407 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:13,167 Your mother's right, I do look like an ass. 408 00:25:14,312 --> 00:25:16,837 You're giving it to me? You're kidding. 409 00:25:17,082 --> 00:25:19,846 Well, wait a minute. 410 00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:23,577 A couple of stupid boxes get wet, and she gets a Porsche? 411 00:25:25,724 --> 00:25:27,555 - Let's take a drive? - All right! 412 00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:31,227 What about me? I'm a medical marvel! 413 00:25:49,414 --> 00:25:50,608 Hey, guys. 414 00:25:50,882 --> 00:25:52,543 Have you seen Chandler's chair? 415 00:25:52,817 --> 00:25:54,717 Joey broke it. He got rid of it. 416 00:25:54,953 --> 00:25:58,946 Are you kidding? I get a Porsche and the Barcalounger's gone? 417 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:02,125 This is the best day ever!