1
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,380
- Hey, guys.
RACHEL: Hey.

2
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,800
So, what do you think?

3
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,261
- About what?
- What?

4
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,890
Are you kidding? Okay,
I'll give you a hint. I'll give you a hint.

5
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,771
Eyes. No, no. Your eyes! No.

6
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,523
Chandler's eyes!

7
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,443
I got glasses.

8
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:30,070
You always had glasses.

9
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,450
No, I didn't.

10
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,244
Are you sure?

11
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,330
Didn't you used to have a pair?

12
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:44,668
They were really round and burgundy,
and they made you look kind of, um...

13
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,879
- Feminine.
- Yes!

14
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,297
No.

15
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,341
I think the glasses look great.
They make you look sexy.

16
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,010
- Really?
- Yeah.

17
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,387
You didn't think
I used to wear glasses, right?

18
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,597
- Of course.
- Pfft.

19
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,265
[MOUTHS]
I had no idea.

20
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,948
What do you want for
an engagement present?

21
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,242
Oh, that's okay, we're not having a party...

22
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:01,203
...so you don't have to get us...
- Ah, buh-buh-buh! Heh.

23
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:05,457
If someone wants to give us a present,
we don't want to deprive them of that joy.

24
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,961
Oh, you should get them
one of those little CD players.

25
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,504
Oh, I already have one.

26
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,882
Unless someone borrowed it
and left it at the gynecologist.

27
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,556
Yeah, and by "someone"
she means Joey.

28
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,350
Hey, I know what I want!

29
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,311
- What we want, honey.
- No, you don't want this.

30
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,982
I want to have your grandmother's
cookie recipe.

31
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,609
You mean the chocolate chip
cookie recipe?

32
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,611
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- The one my grandmother...

33
00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:36,446
...made me swear on her deathbed...

34
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:39,074
...that I would never
let out of our family?

35
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,870
Dying people say the craziest things.

36
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,833
I've wanted it for years. I was gonna
make cookies for my children.

37
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,503
Break my heart. Oh, all right.

38
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:55,215
I'll be the mom who makes the
world's best chocolate chip cookies.

39
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:58,719
Our kids are gonna be fat,
aren't they?

40
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,264
- Ahoy!
CHANDLER: Hey.

41
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,184
- How's the boat?
- I'm getting into this sailing stuff.

42
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,186
You finally took it out of the marina?

43
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,271
Why would I do that?

44
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,858
It took three guys
to get the thing in there.

45
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,777
If you don't sail it,
what do you do on it?

46
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,863
It's a great place
to just kind of sit...

47
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,491
...hang around, drink a few beers,
eat some chips.

48
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,288
It's good that you finally
have a place to do that.

49
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,374
Joey, I could teach you
to sail if you want.

50
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,002
- You could?
- Yeah, I've been sailing my whole life.

51
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:35,214
When I was 15,
my dad bought me my own boat.

52
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,800
- Your own boat?
- He was trying to cheer me up.

53
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,886
My pony was sick.

54
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,399
- You know what I was thinking?
- What?

55
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,944
Nothing, I just like to go like this.

56
00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:01,323
- Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
- Why, do you have a lecture?

57
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,785
- No, why?
- Then, free as a bird. What's up?

58
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,746
Uh, my dad wants to know if you want
to play racquetball.

59
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,623
Wow, that's great! Dad must like you.

60
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,876
- He doesn't ask just anyone to play.
- He didn't really ask for you.

61
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,546
He asked for "Chauncey."
I assumed he meant you.

62
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,632
Did you correct him?

63
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,426
No, I thought it would be
more fun this way.

64
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,347
Maybe this is something
you could do this every week.

65
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,015
Or you could sit on the porch...

66
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,643
...and make sure no one
steals the trashcans.

67
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,937
He does that every week too.

68
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,566
Just so you know, you have to let
him win. He hates to lose.

69
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,736
Oh, no problem.
Maybe I'll play with my left hand.

70
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,197
You're not a lefty?

71
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,367
Does anybody know me?

72
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,289
[PHOEBE GASPS]

73
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,498
What's wrong, Phoebe?

74
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:55,085
I just went to my old apartment
to get you the cookie recipe...

75
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,796
...and that stupid fire burned it up!

76
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,883
No! Why didn't you make a copy
and keep it in a fireproof box...

77
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:05,012
...and keep it at least 100 yards
away from the original?

78
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,312
Because I'm normal.

79
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,691
That was the one legacy
my grandmother left me.

80
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,777
And I know you wanted it
as an engagement present.

81
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,113
We have to get you
an engagement present?

82
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,324
Don't worry about it.

83
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,076
No one got me an engagement present.

84
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:32,247
Okay, here.
I don't have the recipe, but here.

85
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,916
I wish you health
and happiness.

86
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,961
An old cookie?

87
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:41,590
See, this is what happens
when you don't register for gifts.

88
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:47,429
I made a batch and I froze it.
And this is the only one left.

89
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,098
- We can't accept this.
- Why not?

90
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,101
Because it's gross.

91
00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:57,064
No, wait. I think I can figure out
the recipe from this cookie.

92
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,732
I do this at work all the time.

93
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,442
- Really?
- Yeah, I think I can.

94
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,985
Oh, yay!

95
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:07,282
Okay, Ross, we owe you a present.

96
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,785
Two! I've been engaged twice.

97
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,295
Look at this clown.

98
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,799
Because he's got a bigger boat
he thinks he can take up the whole river.

99
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,676
Get out of the way, jackass!

100
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:31,056
Who names their boat
Coast Guard, anyway?

101
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,812
- That is the Coast Guard.
- What are they doing out here?

102
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,231
The coast is all the way over there.

103
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,608
Joey, just ignore the boats.

104
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,069
- We're not finished with our lesson.
- All right.

105
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,488
I'm gonna go over the basic
points one more time.

106
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,825
Come on, Rach. Not again. I got it, okay?
Let's start sailing!

107
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:53,620
I want to go over there
where that boatload of girls is. Yeah, oh!

108
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,248
Oh, is that what you wanna do?

109
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,167
You want to give a shout out
to the old hot chicas?

110
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,670
Okay, let's do that, Sailor Joe.

111
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:05,006
Quick question, though:
What's this called?

112
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:09,469
- Uh, boat rope?
- Wrong.

113
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:12,347
- How do you get the mainsail up?
- Uh...

114
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,599
Rub it?

115
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:21,148
No. What do you do if I say
we're coming about?

116
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:23,733
I'd say, "Come again?" Ha, ha.

117
00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:26,445
No, no, I know this one.
I know this one. Uh, um...

118
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,572
[BLARING]

119
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:30,532
Time's up. Now you're dead.

120
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,825
And deaf!

121
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,161
Okay, you go on
and make your little jokes.

122
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,371
If you don't know
what you're doing at sea...

123
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,958
...you will die at sea.
Am I getting through to you, sailor?

124
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,461
- Yes.
- Don't just say yes.

125
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,172
This isn't a game.
You could get hurt out here!

126
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:48,133
So do you want to pay attention,
or do you want to die?

127
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,264
I want to make a
ship-to-shore call to Chandler.

128
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,526
- All right, I definitely taste nutmeg.
- You do?

129
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:09,529
You don't? Heh.
Well, that's the difference...

130
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,531
...between a professional and a layman.

131
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,951
That and arrogance.

132
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,163
Hey.

133
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:19,915
Hey. How was sailing?

134
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,626
I don't want to talk about it.

135
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,253
- You could've saved me a whole cookie.
- No!

136
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,838
[PHOEBE & MONICA YELLING]

137
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,593
Women are mean!

138
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,557
I can't believe that.

139
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:41,061
Now the only thing left
of my grandmother's legacy is...

140
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,896
...this crumb.

141
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,692
I wish you a long and happy marriage.

142
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,572
- Hey.
- How was it?

143
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,449
Well, I had a great time.

144
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,953
Um, Chauncey on the other hand...

145
00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:00,163
I will tell the story.

146
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,500
It was going great.
I let him win, we were bonding...

147
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,585
...he even said I could call him Dad.

148
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,587
And what did he ask you
not to call him?

149
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,006
"Daddy."

150
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,134
Look, here's the story.

151
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,429
CHANDLER:
We had just finished playing racquetball...

152
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,223
...and we were gonna take a steam.

153
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,975
I walk into the steam room...

154
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,060
...and it's really steamy.

155
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,816
So I take off my glasses,
and that's when it happened.

156
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,025
Guys?

157
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:32,195
ROSS: Over here.
JACK: Have a seat, son.

158
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,369
Hey!

159
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,382
- Oh, my God, Chandler! I can't believe it.
- I know.

160
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,968
You gave my father a lap dance.

161
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,974
Why do they put
so much steam in there?

162
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:07,272
Because otherwise they'd
have to call it the "room" room.

163
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:12,861
Why, okay? Why?
Why did that have to happen?

164
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,280
Come on, it's not that big a deal.

165
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,866
Not that big a deal? There...

166
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,493
There was touching of things.

167
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,871
I know you wanted
to bond with my dad...

168
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,249
...but did you have to bond
to that part?

169
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:33,089
Listen, I'm sure Dad doesn't care.
He probably thought this was funny.

170
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,050
He'll be telling this story for years.

171
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:38,011
I don't want him to tell
this story for years.

172
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,597
Oh, but he will.

173
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:45,518
He still tells the story about how
Monica tried to escape from fat camp.

174
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,480
I wasn't escaping.

175
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,940
Then how'd you get caught
in the barbed wire?

176
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,818
I was trying to help out a squirrel.

177
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,820
You were trying to eat it.

178
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,282
[PHONE RINGS]

179
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,993
If that is your father calling
to tell this story...

180
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,953
...then the marriage is off!

181
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,539
Come on. Hello.

182
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,584
I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.

183
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,753
Okay, I'll call you later, Dad. I love you.

184
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,637
- All right, I'm off to see your dad.
- Oh, whoa.

185
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,014
Aren't you a little overdressed?

186
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:27,727
Yeah, and you better make sure
he tips you this time.

187
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:32,107
I figured I would try to convince
him not to tell the story anymore...

188
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,235
...and I figured the best way
to do that was face to face.

189
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,987
And by "face," I don't mean his lap.

190
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,074
And by "face," I don't mean my ass.

191
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,663
Are you getting Monica
and Chandler an engagement present?

192
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,249
I don't know. You know,
they didn't get us anything.

193
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,084
Thank you!

194
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,212
- Hey.
- Hey.

195
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,964
Well, hello.

196
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:59,050
So when are we getting
back out on the water, matey?

197
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,471
Oh, uh, I don't know the boat way
to say this, but, never.

198
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:09,060
- Why not?
- Because you're mean on the boat.

199
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,521
Wha...? I was just trying to teach you.

200
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,107
Well, lesson learned.
Rachel is mean.

201
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,194
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

202
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,573
I remember when she took me out
on her dad's boat.

203
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,575
She wouldn't let me help out at all.

204
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:27,162
Excuse me, I wanted you to help.
But you couldn't move your arms...

205
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,373
...because you were wearing
three life jackets.

206
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,461
You have to respect the sea.

207
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,798
Look, Joey, I'm sorry if you thought
that was mean.

208
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,134
But I tell you something,
that was not mean.

209
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:45,096
My father is mean. He used to yell at me
all the time on the boat.

210
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,433
It was horrible.
I was being a really good teacher.

211
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:51,519
Does a good teacher say,
"Put down the beer, pinhead!"

212
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:55,774
Does a good student drink 7 beers
during his first lesson?

213
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,525
Six and a half.

214
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,028
You knocked that last one
out of my hand.

215
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,155
I didn't want you to get hit
by the boom.

216
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,698
Well, it hit me anyway.

217
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,118
It would have hurt a lot less
if I had finished that last beer.

218
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,249
I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down
and, uh, stop yelling.

219
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,544
- You won't boss me around?
- I won't boss you around.

220
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,338
- And you'll be nice?
- I'll be nice.

221
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,216
- And you'll be topless?
- And I... Joey!

222
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,801
You want me to learn?

223
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,266
Okay, here's batch 22.

224
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,477
Maybe these'll taste
like your grandmother's.

225
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,396
This has a bit of orange peel,
but no nutmeg.

226
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,482
- Mm. Let's give it a shot.
MONICA: Ugh.

227
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,193
I have not made so many cookies
since 9th grade.

228
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:44,113
- What was that for, a bake sale?
- No, just a Friday night.

229
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,578
Mm. These are pretty good.

230
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,206
- Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.
- Mm-mm.

231
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,457
Which one was that?

232
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,793
The ones we had
after you almost threw up.

233
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,421
Oh, yeah, batch 17 was good.

234
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,299
I did not like batch 16.

235
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,427
I'm okay.

236
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,682
Are there any more from the good batch?
We could work off those.

237
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,561
Well, yeah, I think there's one
from batch 17 left. Uh...

238
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,485
Batch 16.
Sixteen, people, get out of the way!

239
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,746
Okay, Joey.
Honey, you're doing really good.

240
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,083
I just need you
to step to the portside.

241
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,965
Remember how we
talked about the portside?

242
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,717
- Oh, yeah.
- Right?

243
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,093
No.

244
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:52,473
It's left, sweetie, but that's okay.
That's a tough one.

245
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,100
Why not just say left?

246
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,060
Okay, go to the left.

247
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,233
Ahem, the left.

248
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,651
- Huh?
- Just sit over there!

249
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,070
Okay! Okay!
You're yelling again. See that?

250
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:10,199
Oh, no, no. Very quiet.
Said with love, no yelling.

251
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,745
You know what?

252
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,332
Since I'm here, I'm gonna have
a beer on the portside.

253
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,335
See what I did there? Ha, ha.

254
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,133
We're luffing a little.
Will you tighten up the Cunningham?

255
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:31,471
Whoa, you just said a bunch
of stuff I don't know.

256
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,390
Joey, come on!
We just went over this.

257
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:38,770
Oh, when we did that was when that bird
was overhead with the fish in his mouth.

258
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:42,023
- Did you see it? It was gross.
- No! I did not see the bird.

259
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:46,319
I did not see the fish! I did not see the
piece of Styrofoam shaped like Mike Tyson!

260
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:51,908
I did not, because I was trying
to teach you how to sail a boat.

261
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,869
Which obviously is
an impossible thing to do.

262
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:58,164
That's it! You're yelling,
and I don't see you taking your top off.

263
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,166
I quit!

264
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,336
- What do you mean? You can't quit.
- Why not?

265
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:07,048
Because you're not finished!
I won't have it. Greens do not quit.

266
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,634
Greens?

267
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:12,971
I'm a Tribbiani. Tribbianis quit.

268
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,392
Oh, my God. Wait.

269
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,687
Did I...? I just said,
"Greens don't quit," didn't I?

270
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:25,525
- Did I say, "Greens don't quit"?
- Yes! And you're still yelling at me.

271
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,611
No, I'm not yelling at you.
I'm just yelling near you.

272
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,697
Oh, God, Joey. Oh, I'm my father.

273
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,616
Oh, my God. This is horrible.

274
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:38,621
I've been trying so hard not to be
my mother, I did not see this coming.

275
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,833
Ugh, Joey.

276
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,879
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
I just wanted you to learn.

277
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,925
- Ugh.
- Hey, I...

278
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,677
I did learn.

279
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,971
- Really?
- Yeah, come on.

280
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:58,016
- No.
- Yeah. It's okay.

281
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,643
I know what a mainsail is. Huh?

282
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:04,731
I know to duck when
the boom comes across.

283
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,026
- I know port is right.
- Left.

284
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,736
Damn it!

285
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,241
You know, I bet it would
make my grandma happy...

286
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,369
...to know that we're trying
to figure out her recipe.

287
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:23,082
I bet she's looking up at us
and smiling right now.

288
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,502
Looking up?

289
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:31,299
Oh, yeah, no, she was really nice to me
but she's in hell for sure.

290
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,136
Well, I've tried everything. I give up.

291
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,181
I'm not gonna be the mom
who makes the world's best cookies.

292
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:43,603
I do make the best
duck confit with broccoli raab.

293
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,021
Kids love that, right?

294
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:50,568
Aw, Pheeb, isn't there any relative
that would have the recipe?

295
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,403
What about your sister?

296
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:55,448
Oh, no. I made a promise
to myself that the next time...

297
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,785
...I would talk to Ursula
is over my dead body.

298
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:04,791
And that's not happening
until October 15, 2032.

299
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,168
That's the day you're gonna die? See.

300
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,338
Darn it, I've got shuffleboard that day.
Heh.

301
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,216
That's what you think.

302
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,847
What about friends of your grandmother?
Would they have the recipe?

303
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:23,601
You know, I may have relatives in France
who would know.

304
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,603
My grandmother said
she got the recipe...

305
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:29,357
...from her grandmother,
"Nestley Toulouse."

306
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,276
What was her name?

307
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,280
Nestley Toulouse.

308
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,867
Nestlé Toll House?

309
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,914
Ugh.

310
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,792
You Americans always butcher
the French language.

311
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,255
Phoebe, is this the recipe?

312
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,134
Yes!

313
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,429
Oh.

314
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:04,934
I cannot believe that I spent the last two
days trying to figure out that recipe.

315
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,811
It was in my cupboard the whole time!

316
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:10,940
I know! You see, it is stuff like this...

317
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,651
...which is why you're burning in hell!

318
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,031
CHANDLER:
So you understand.

319
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,909
I'd feel more comfortable
if you didn't tell people.

320
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,745
You know,
I'm a little embarrassed about it.

321
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:28,291
I understand completely.
There's nothing more horrifying...

322
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,960
...than embarrassing yourself
in front of your in-laws.

323
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:35,506
As a matter of fact, when I started
dating Judy, I was unemployed.

324
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,717
Her father asked me
what I did for a living.

325
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,094
- I told him I was a lawyer.
- Heh.

326
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,680
- What'd you do when they found out?
- They never did.

327
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,559
So if you ever see me giving them
legal advice, just nod along.

328
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,312
Shall we?

329
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:07,371
So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here.

330
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,845
Well, Joey, I hate to admit it...

331
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,681
...your way of sailing
is a lot more fun.

332
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,142
Yep, yep.

333
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:31,479
Hey, why don't you give a pull
on that rope?

334
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,855
We're not sailing.

335
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,275
- Just pull on it.
- All right.

336
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,905
- Hey!
- Eh?

337
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,865
Sandwiches!

338
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,284
- What else?
- Ha, ha.

339
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,203
Here you go.

340
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:50,623
- Thank you.
- Oh, wow.

341
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,669
- What are you doing?
- Oops. Sorry.

342
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:58,005
Don't hold it like that.
You're letting all the good stuff fall out.

343
00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,924
- Oh. Oops.
- Careful!

344
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,593
You're wasting good pastrami!

345
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,349
Oh, my God. I'm my dad!

346
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,564
[English - US - SDH]