1 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,797 [ANNOUNCER SPEAKING IN SPANISH ON TV] 2 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,425 Man, I sure miss Julie. 3 00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,427 Spanish midgets. 4 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,763 Spanish midgets wrestling... 5 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:18,517 Julie. Okay, yes, I see how you got there. 6 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,436 [PHONE RINGING] 7 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,484 You ever figure out what that thing's for? 8 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,653 No, see, I'm trying this screening thing. 9 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,532 I figure if I always answer the phone, people will think I don't have a life. 10 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,035 My God. Rodrigo never gets pinned. 11 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,912 JOEY [ON RECORDING]: Here comes the beep. You know what to do. 12 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,956 JADE [OVER MACHINE]: Hello. I'm looking for Bob. 13 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,332 This is Jade. 14 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,753 I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us... 15 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,049 ...and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years... 16 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,676 ...but I was kind of hoping we could hook up again. 17 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,888 You know, I barely had the nerve to make this call... 18 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,307 ...so you know what I did? - What? 19 00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,517 I got a little drunk... 20 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:01,727 ...and naked. 21 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,228 [IN DEEP VOICE] Bob here. 22 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:54,738 [IN DEEP VOICE] So, uh, what have you been up to? 23 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,615 JADE: Oh, you know, the usual. 24 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,158 Teaching aerobics... 25 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:01,203 ...partying way too much. Heh. 26 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,288 Oh, and in case you were wondering... 27 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,459 ...those are my legs on the new James Bond poster. 28 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,881 Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. 29 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,758 - I love her. - I know. 30 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,138 - I'm back. JADE: So are we gonna get together? 31 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,764 Uh, absolutely. 32 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,641 Uh, how about tomorrow afternoon? 33 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,561 Do you know, uh, Central Perk in the village? Say, five-ish? 34 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,647 JADE: Great. I'll see you then. - Okay. 35 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,775 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Okay. 36 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,528 Having a phone has finally paid off. 37 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,116 Even though you do do a good Bob impression... 38 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,118 ...I'm thinking when she sees you tomorrow... 39 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,620 ...she's probably gonna realize, hey, you're not Bob. 40 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,207 I am hoping that when Bob doesn't show up... 41 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:52,337 ...she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table. 42 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,299 Oh, my God. You are pure evil. 43 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,177 Okay, pure evil... 44 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,637 ...horny and alone. 45 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,058 I've done this. 46 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,358 Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. 47 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,820 Hey, everybody. Say hi to Julie in New Mexico. 48 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,030 ALL: Hi, Julie. 49 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,781 RACHEL [MOCKINGLY]: Hi, Julie. 50 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,243 Okay. While Ross is on the phone... 51 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,412 ...everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday. 52 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:30,292 Um, is there any chance that you're rounding up from... 53 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,838 ...you know, from like 20? 54 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,800 Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert and the cake. 55 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,719 Do we need a cake? 56 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,847 Look, I know it's a little steep. 57 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,515 Whoosh. 58 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,602 But it's Ross. 59 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,231 - Yeah, it's Ross. JOEY: Yeah, you're right. 60 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,691 All right? Okay. I'll see you later. I gotta go... 61 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,568 ...do a thing. 62 00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,780 Okay, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. 63 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,908 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, you're not really going through with this, are you? 64 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,535 You know, I think I might just. 65 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,707 So, uh, what are you guys doing for dinner tonight? 66 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,962 Well, I guess I gotta start saving up for Ross' birthday. 67 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,840 So I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies. 68 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,468 Can you believe how much this is gonna cost? 69 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,930 Do you guys ever get the feeling that, um... 70 00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,556 ...Chandler and those guys... 71 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,935 ...just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do? 72 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,311 - Yes. RACHEL: Really? 73 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:34,314 It's like they're always saying, "Let's go here, let's go there." 74 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,734 - Like we can afford to go here and there. - Yeah. 75 00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:42,114 Yes, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? 76 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:47,160 It's not like we can say anything about it, because, like, this is a birthday thing... 77 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,745 ...you know, and it's for Ross. 78 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,414 - For Ross. - For Ross. 79 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,293 Oh, my God. 80 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,627 - Hi. - What? 81 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,629 Okay. I'm at work... 82 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:01,008 ...just an ordinary day, you know, chop, chop, sauté, sauté. 83 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,970 All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. 84 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,181 Turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job. 85 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,184 If it's not you, this is a horrible story. 86 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,730 - Fortunately, it is me. - Oh. 87 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:17,357 And they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. 88 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,192 That's so cool. 89 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,612 Anyway, I just ran into Chandler and Ross. We should go out and celebrate. 90 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:23,864 You know, someplace nice. 91 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,872 - Someplace nice. RACHEL: Yeah. 92 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,833 How much you think I can get for my kidney? 93 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,300 I'm telling you, you can't do this. 94 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:47,512 Oh, come on, I can't get a girl like that with conventional methods. 95 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,805 That doesn't matter. 96 00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,349 She wanted to call Bob. 97 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,894 Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. 98 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:57,022 You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness. 99 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:58,732 We don't know Bob. 100 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:03,153 Okay? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy. 101 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,491 Go over there and tell that woman the truth. 102 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:09,659 All right. 103 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,162 Go. 104 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,255 Hi. 105 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,092 Listen, I have to, uh, ahem... 106 00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,219 I have to confess something. 107 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,513 Yes? 108 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,725 Whoever stood you up is a jerk. 109 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,770 - How did you... - I don't know. 110 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:43,193 I just had this weird sense. You know? But that's me, I'm weird and sensitive. 111 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,364 Tissue? 112 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,408 Thanks. 113 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,744 No, no, you keep the pack. 114 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,080 I'm all cried out today. 115 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,124 [CHUCKLES] 116 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,260 [GLASS CLINKING] [ROSS CLEARS THROAT] 117 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,011 Okay, okay. 118 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,391 Here is to my sister, the newly appointed head lunch chef. 119 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,560 Who is also in charge of purchasing. 120 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,688 Newly appointed head lunch chef, also in charge of purchasing... 121 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,191 Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there. 122 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:27,821 Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there... 123 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:31,116 ...here's to my little sister... - Oh, wait. And I got a beeper. 124 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:32,534 Oh, cool. 125 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,247 - That's fine, I'll just wait. - Aw, sorry. 126 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,040 JOEY: Oh, sorry, sorry. 127 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:40,750 Monica. 128 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,377 [ALL CHEER] 129 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,172 Are we ready to order? 130 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,007 Oh. You know, we haven't even looked yet. 131 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,884 Well, when you do, just let me know. 132 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,011 I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat. 133 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,935 Wow, look at these prices. 134 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,771 Yeah, these are pretty "cha-ching." 135 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,775 I know. What are these, famous chickens? 136 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,738 - Sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon. - Thanks. 137 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:13,074 I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade? 138 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:17,662 Well, pretty incredible, according to the message she left on my machine. 139 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:22,626 Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine? 140 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,961 See, I had to tell her that my number was your number. 141 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:26,922 I couldn't tell her my number was my number... 142 00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:30,133 ...because she thinks my number is Bob's number. 143 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,930 Hey, tell me again. What do I do when Mr. Roper calls? 144 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:37,724 Do I dare ask? 145 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,353 Yes, I'll start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns. 146 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:42,896 That sounds great, same for me. 147 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,940 And for the gentleman? 148 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,775 Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. 149 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:50,111 But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff... 150 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,239 ...is it cheaper? 151 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,741 You'd think, wouldn't you? 152 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,077 - Miss? - Okay. 153 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,745 I will have the, uh... 154 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,205 [WHISPERS] ...side salad. 155 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,083 [WHISPERS] And what would that be on the side of? 156 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,043 I don't know. 157 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:08,255 Why don't you just put it right here next to my water? 158 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,050 And for you? 159 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:16,846 Um, I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup... 160 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,683 ...and, um... 161 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,851 ...take care. 162 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,899 - I will have the, uh, Cajun catfish. - Anything else? 163 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,068 Yes, how about a verse of "Killing Me Softly"? 164 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,653 [JOEY CHUCKLES] 165 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,615 You're gonna sneeze in my fish, aren't you? 166 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,999 ROSS: Plus tip, divided by six... 167 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,210 Okay, everyone owes 28 bucks. 168 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,255 Um, everyone? 169 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,258 Oh. You're right, I'm sorry. 170 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,467 JOEY: Thank you. 171 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,344 It's Monica's big night. She shouldn't pay. 172 00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,597 Aw, thank you. 173 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,473 ROSS: So five of us is... 174 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,226 ...33.50 apiece. 175 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,895 No. Uh-uh. No way. Sorry, not gonna happen. 176 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,982 Whoa. Whoa. Prom night flashback. 177 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:13,987 Sorry, Monica. I'm really happy you got promoted... 178 00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:17,407 ...but cold cucumber mush for 30-something bucks? 179 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,617 No. 180 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,537 Rachel just had that little salad... 181 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:26,082 ...and Joey with his, like, teeny pizza. 182 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,209 Okay, Pheebs. 183 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,504 How about we'll each just pay for what we had, okay? 184 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,132 - It's no big deal. - Not for you. 185 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,180 All right, what's going on? 186 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,516 Okay, look, I really don't wanna get into this right now. 187 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,895 - It'll just make everybody uncomfortable. - Oh, fine. All right, fine. 188 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:49,230 - What? Whoa, whoa. - You can tell us. 189 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,275 Yeah, hello? It's us. All right? We'll be fine. 190 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,281 Ahem. Okay, um... 191 00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:03,328 Uh, we three feel like that, uh, ahem... 192 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:08,208 ...sometimes you guys don't get that, uh, ahem... 193 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,966 We don't have as much money as you. 194 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,181 - Okay. - I hear you. 195 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,934 We can talk about that. 196 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,228 Well, then... 197 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,147 ...let's. 198 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:38,196 Well, um, I guess I just never think of money as an issue. 199 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,573 - That's because you have it. - That's a good point. 200 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:46,663 So, um, how come you guys haven't talked about this before? 201 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:50,041 Because it's always something, you know? Like with Monica's new job... 202 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,086 ...or the whole Ross' birthday hoopla. 203 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,213 What? Whoa, hey. 204 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:59,926 I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative... 205 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,011 There's gonna be a hoopla? 206 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:09,102 Basically there's the thing, and then the stuff after the thing and it's... 207 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,814 If it makes anybody feel better, we can just forget the thing... 208 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,066 ...and we'll just do the gift. 209 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,902 Gift? The thing's not the gift? 210 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,906 No, the thing was we were gonna go see Hootie and the Blowfish. 211 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:25,869 Hootie and the... Oh, my... I can catch them on the radio. 212 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:30,039 No. Now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert. 213 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,667 No, look, hey, it's my birthday... 214 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:36,045 ...and the important thing is that we all be together. 215 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,422 - All of us. - Together. 216 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,215 Not at the concert. 217 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,219 - Okay. Thank you. - Thanks. 218 00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:44,637 Yeah. 219 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:53,938 So, the Ebola virus. That's gotta suck, huh? 220 00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,570 Gee, Monica. What's in the bag? 221 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,323 I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look. 222 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,450 Oh, it's like a skit. 223 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,871 Why, it's dinner for six. Five steaks... 224 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,415 ...and an eggplant for Phoebe. 225 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,421 We switched meat suppliers at work, and they gave me the steaks as a thank-you. 226 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,842 But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in that envelope? 227 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,930 By the way, this didn't seem so dorky out in the hall. 228 00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:28,348 Come on. 229 00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:32,018 Why, it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish. 230 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,648 The Blowfish. 231 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:42,278 It's on us, all right? So don't worry. This is our treat. 232 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,031 So... thank you. 233 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:47,992 [ROSS CHUCKLES] 234 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,869 Could you be less enthused? 235 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,497 Look, it's a nice gesture. It is. 236 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,499 But it just feels like... 237 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,000 Like? 238 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,962 - Charity. - Charity? 239 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,548 We're just trying to do a nice thing here. 240 00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:05,844 But, Ross, you have to understand, your nice thing makes us feel about this big. 241 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:09,013 Actually, it makes us feel that big. 242 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:14,811 What? I don't understand. I mean, it's like we can't win with you guys. 243 00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:18,147 If you guys feel this big, maybe that's not our fault. 244 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,233 Maybe that's just how you feel. 245 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,402 Oh. 246 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:28,074 - Now you're telling us how we feel. - We never should have talked about this. 247 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,993 I'm gonna pass on the concert... 248 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,538 ...because I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now. 249 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,376 - Me neither. - Me too. 250 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,837 Guys, we bought the tickets. 251 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:44,591 Well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff. 252 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:48,386 Why did you look at me when you said that? 253 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,350 So I guess now we can't go. 254 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,897 Come on, do what you want. Do we always have to do everything together? 255 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,900 You know what? You're right. 256 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,737 - Fine. - Fine. 257 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,406 - Fine. - All right. 258 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,075 We're gonna go. 259 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,083 It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then. 260 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,551 - Chandler? - Yeah. 261 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,345 Oh, jeez. 262 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,305 - Are you ready? - Yes. 263 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,016 Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today. 264 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,768 Whoa, whoa. 265 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,063 What? You had sex today? 266 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:43,608 Wow. It sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. 267 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:49,280 I was awesome, okay? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming. 268 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,657 Wow. 269 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:54,243 Now, I know it's been a while, but I took that as a good sign. 270 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,204 [PHONE RINGING] 271 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,084 Still doing the screening thing? 272 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,211 I had sex today. 273 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,547 I never have to answer that phone again. 274 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,926 JOEY [ON RECORDING]: Here comes the beep. You know what to do. 275 00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,136 JADE [ON MACHINE]: Hey, Bob. It's Jade. 276 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:15,598 I just wanted to tell you I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day. 277 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,686 And just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy. 278 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:21,980 [IN DEEP VOICE] Bob here. 279 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,940 JADE: Oh, hi. 280 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:26,401 So, uh, you met someone, huh? 281 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,069 JADE: Yes. Yes, I did. 282 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,823 In fact, I had sex with him two hours ago. 283 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:37,203 So, uh, how was he? 284 00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:38,913 JADE: Eh... 285 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,171 "Eh"? 286 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:50,967 Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you. 287 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:57,223 I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name. 288 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,437 Well, that makes me feel so good. 289 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,898 It was just so awkward and bumpy. 290 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:07,650 [MOUTHS] Bumpy? 291 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:12,155 Maybe he had some kind of, uh, new cool style that you're not familiar with. 292 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,574 And, uh, maybe you have to get used to it. 293 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,909 JADE: There wasn't much time to get used to it... 294 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,244 ...if you know what I mean. 295 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,091 You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this. 296 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:35,595 Yeah, I know. It's my birthday. We all should be here. 297 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,805 So let's go. 298 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,934 [HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH PLAYING "I GO BLIND"] 299 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,689 Well, you know, maybe we should stay for one song. 300 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,776 Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now. 301 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,986 You know, the guys are probably having a great time. 302 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,157 Every time I look at you I go blind 303 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,367 Come on, you guys. One more time. 304 00:17:58,577 --> 00:17:59,702 Okay. 305 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,622 - One. - No. 306 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:09,754 MUSICIAN: Thank you very much. We are Hootie & The Blowfish. 307 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,549 - That was amazing. - Excellent. 308 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,468 I can't believe the guys missed this. 309 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,595 What guys? Oh, yeah. 310 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,933 Excuse me. You're Monica Geller, aren't you? 311 00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,769 - Do I know you? - You used to be my baby-sitter. 312 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,939 Oh, my God. Little Stevie Fisher? 313 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,649 How have you been? 314 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,567 Good, good. I'm a lawyer now. 315 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,070 You can't be a lawyer. You're 8. 316 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,406 Well, listen, it was nice to see you. I gotta run backstage. 317 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,741 Wait, backstage? 318 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,576 Oh, yeah. My firm represents the band. 319 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,286 - Ross. - Chandler. 320 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,791 - Look, you guys wanna meet the group? - Yeah, we do. 321 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,000 Come on. 322 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,504 So, look, are you one of the ones that fooled around with my dad? 323 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,970 - Hey, you guys. RACHEL: Happy birthday. 324 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,888 Oh, thank you. Thanks. 325 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,224 So, uh... 326 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,102 How was your night last night? 327 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,856 Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours? 328 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,774 Yeah, ours pretty much sucked too. 329 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,485 Oh, but I did run into Stevie Fisher. Remember him? 330 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,779 Oh, yeah. I used to baby-sit him. 331 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,531 Hey, how's his dad? 332 00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:21,993 Good. 333 00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:25,621 Uh, aside from that, the whole evening was pretty much a bust. 334 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,708 Yeah, we really missed you guys. 335 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:32,712 Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is so stupid. 336 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:38,009 We just have to really, really not let stuff like money, get like... 337 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,468 Is that a hickey? 338 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,431 Oh, ha, ha, no, I just... 339 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,391 I fell down. 340 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,478 On someone's lips? 341 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,440 Where'd you get the hickey? 342 00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:55,026 - You know, a party or... - What party? 343 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:59,822 Well, it wasn't a party so much as a... A gathering of people. 344 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,492 With food and music and... 345 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,328 And the band. 346 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,915 You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish? 347 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:13,044 Yes. Apparently, Stevie and Hootie are like this. 348 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,588 Who gave you that hickey? 349 00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,423 That would be the work of a Blowfish. 350 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,175 [RACHEL & PHOEBE GASP] 351 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,096 I can't believe it. I can't believe this. 352 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:28,851 We're just sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers... 353 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:34,106 ...and you guys are out, like, partying and having fun and all: 354 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,442 "Hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck." 355 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,657 Hey, look, don't blame us. You guys could've been there. 356 00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:45,993 Oh, what? As part of your Poor Friends Outreach program? 357 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:47,578 [PAGER BEEPS] 358 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,038 Oh, great. It's work. 359 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,917 Look, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more than you. 360 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:56,254 But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it. 361 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,130 And we don't work hard? 362 00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,966 Yeah, hi, it's Monica. I got a page. 363 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:04,178 I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more. 364 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,472 - Oh, and you feel like we hold you back. - Yes. 365 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:08,641 No. 366 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:12,186 [ARGUING] 367 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,563 MONICA: Leon, wait. Shh! Guys. 368 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,607 Wait, I don't understand. 369 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,985 Those steaks were just a gift from the meat vendor. 370 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,945 That was not a kickback. 371 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:24,782 Come on, I'll just replace them and we can forget the whole thing. 372 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:28,995 What corporate policy? 373 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,043 Yeah. 374 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,753 Okay. 375 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,468 I just got fired. 376 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,977 WAITRESS: Here's your check. That'll be 4.12. 377 00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:54,437 Let me get that. 378 00:21:58,358 --> 00:21:59,442 [WHISPERS] You got 5 bucks? 379 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:08,993 [PHONE RINGS] 380 00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:12,496 JOEY [ON RECORDING]: Here comes the beep. You know what to do. 381 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:15,624 JADE [ON MACHINE]: Hi, it's me. 382 00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:21,297 Listen, Bob, I'm probably way out of line here. 383 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:25,885 I mean, it has been three years, and you're probably seeing someone else now... 384 00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:29,972 ...but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake... 385 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:34,602 One hot, steamy, wild night... 386 00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,111 [English - US - SDH]