1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:05,045
Mom, would you relax?

2
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:09,174
That was 10 blocks from here,
and the woman was walking alone at night.

3
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,010
I would never do that.

4
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,846
Mom, come on, stop worrying.

5
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:17,391
This is a safe street.
This is a safe building. There's nothing...

6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,602
Aah! Oh, my God!
What are you doing in here?

7
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,604
Mom, I gotta go. I gotta go.

8
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:26,942
Oh, my God.

9
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,944
Okay.

10
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,196
That's fine, you just read the paper.

11
00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:33,824
I'm gonna get a pot.

12
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,118
It's not for you.

13
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,834
Okay, that's fine.

14
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,796
Read the Family Circus...

15
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:51,341
...enjoy the gentle comedy...

16
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:54,928
[SHRIEKING]

17
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:58,015
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

18
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:04,396
Ugh. Oh, God. Oh, God.

19
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,816
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

20
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,693
It's open, you guys.

21
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,197
- Hi.
- Hi. Can I help you?

22
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,616
I'm looking for Phoebe,
does she still live here?

23
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,160
Uh, no, she doesn't.
But I can get a message to her.

24
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,205
Great. Uh, just tell her
her husband stopped by.

25
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,956
Her what? Aah!

26
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,835
Hey, how did you do that?

27
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,972
This is unbelievable, Pheebs.
How can you be married?

28
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,057
I'm not "married" married,
you know?

29
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,934
He was just a friend, and he's gay...

30
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,812
...and he was from Canada,
and he needed a Green Card.

31
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,064
I can't believe you married Duncan.

32
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,691
I mean, how could you not tell me?

33
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,985
We lived together,
we told each other everything.

34
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,822
I'm sorry, Monica, but I knew if I told you,
you'd get really, like, judgmental...

35
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,031
...and would not approve.

36
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,200
Of course I wouldn't approve.

37
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:43,537
You were totally in love
with this guy who, hello, was gay.

38
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,539
I mean, what the hell were you thinking?

39
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,708
See? And you thought
she'd be judgmental.

40
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:53,088
Okay, I wasn't in love with him.
I was just helping out a friend.

41
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:56,675
Please. When he left town,
you stayed in your pajamas for a month.

42
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,844
And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.

43
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,387
[ALL GASP]

44
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:03,599
Well, didn't you?

45
00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:06,226
I might have.

46
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,438
I can't believe you didn't tell me.

47
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,106
Come on.
Like you tell me everything?

48
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,066
What have I not told you?

49
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,194
Ooh, I don't know. Um...

50
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:19,364
...how about the fact that the underwear
out there on the telephone pole is yours...

51
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,117
...from when you were having sex
with Fun Bobby on the terrace.

52
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,621
RACHEL: What?
- Wait a minute. Who told you?

53
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,919
You are dead meat.

54
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,796
I didn't know it was a big secret.

55
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,132
Oh, it's not big. Not at all.

56
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:40,802
You know, kind of on the same lines as,
say, I don't know, having a third nipple.

57
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,512
[ALL GASP]

58
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,849
You have a third nipple?

59
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,770
You bitch.

60
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,608
- Whip it out. Whip it out.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah.

61
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:59,071
No, come on. There's nothing to see.
It's just a tiny bump. It's totally useless.

62
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,531
Oh, as opposed to your other
multifunctional nipples?

63
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:07,162
I can't believe you.
You told me it was a nubbin.

64
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,041
Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?

65
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:15,879
I don't know. You see something, you
hear a word, I thought that's what it was.

66
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:19,800
- Let me see it again.
ROSS: Yeah, show us your nubbin.

67
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,176
Joey was in a porno movie.

68
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,928
[ALL GASP]

69
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,975
If I'm going down,
I'm taking everybody with me.

70
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,228
RACHEL: Oh, my God.
ROSS: You were in a porno?

71
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,690
All right, all right.
I was young and I just wanted a job, okay?

72
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,984
But at the last minute
I couldn't go through with it.

73
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,320
So they let me be the guy who comes in
to fix the copier but can't...

74
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,198
...because there's people
having sex on it.

75
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,700
ALL:
Wow.

76
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,076
That is wild.

77
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,579
- So, what's it shaped like?
- Is there a hair on it?

78
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,748
What happens if you flick it?

79
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,801
So, uh, does it do anything,
you know, special?

80
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,388
Why, yes, Ross, pressing my third nipple
opens the delivery entrance...

81
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,849
...to the magical land of Narnia.

82
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:14,521
You know, in some cultures, having
a third nipple is actually a sign of virility.

83
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,524
You get the best huts,
and women dance naked around you.

84
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:22,195
Huh. Are, uh, any of these cultures,
per chance, in the Tri-State area?

85
00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:27,409
You know, you are so amazing.
Is there anything you don't know?

86
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:32,831
[MOCKINGLY]
Ooh, Julie's so smart. Julie's so special.

87
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,835
Look, honey, I wanted you to hook up
with Ross as much as you did.

88
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:40,464
But he's with her now.
You're just gonna have to get over it.

89
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,467
Oh, I'm going to have to get over it.

90
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:47,262
God, see, I didn't know that's what
I had to do. I just have to get over it.

91
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,017
ALL:
Whoa.

92
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,394
ROSS: Sassy lady.
JULIE: Where are you going?

93
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:57,981
Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan.
He's skating tonight at the Garden.

94
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,150
He's in the Capades.

95
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,404
- The Ice Capades?
- No, no, the Gravel Capades.

96
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,117
Yeah, the turns aren't as fast,
but when Snoopy falls? Funny.

97
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,496
I can't believe you're dressing up for him.

98
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,123
You're setting yourself up
all over again.

99
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,500
Okay, no.

100
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:22,589
For your information, I'm going to see him
so I can put all those feelings behind me.

101
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,676
And the reason I'm dressed like this
is because I think it's nice...

102
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,346
...to look nice for your gay husband.

103
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,475
Darn it, we're all out of milk.

104
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,811
Hey, Chandler, will you fill me up here?

105
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,737
Oh, I see, I see.
Because of the third-nipple thing.

106
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,948
[LAUGHS THEN GRUMBLES]

107
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,248
- Okay, sweetie, I'll see you later.
- Bye.

108
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,627
- See you later, Rach.
- Bye-bye, Julie.

109
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,511
- Hey.
- Hey.

110
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,140
Hey, come on, cut it out.

111
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,059
ROSS: Hey.
RACHEL: What?

112
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,688
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.

113
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,732
ROSS: Eh.
RACHEL: What?

114
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,695
- Come on, talk to me.
- Okay.

115
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:31,908
What's the longest you've been
in a relationship before...

116
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:36,204
...having the sex?

117
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:40,000
Why? Who's not...?
Are you and Julie not...?

118
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,210
Are you and Julie not having sex?

119
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,463
Well...

120
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,298
Technically?

121
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,551
- No.
- Wow.

122
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,137
Is it because she's so cold in bed?

123
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:58,393
Or is it because she's kind of bossy,
makes it feel like school?

124
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:03,356
No. No. She's great. And it's not
like we haven't done anything.

125
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:08,028
I mean, we do plenty of other stuff.
Lots of other stuff like...

126
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,864
No, no, no.
Don't need to know the details.

127
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,616
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

128
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,201
No, it's just...

129
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,161
It's me.

130
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:19,456
You know, I've only been
with one woman my whole life...

131
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,875
...and she turned out to be a lesbian.

132
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,084
Uh-huh.

133
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:26,755
So now I've got myself all psyched out.

134
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,466
It's become, like, this...

135
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,677
...this thing, and I...

136
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,057
You must just think I'm weird.

137
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,101
No. No, no, no. I don't think it's weird.

138
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,854
I think... I think, um, in fact...

139
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,524
- In fact, you know what I think?
- What?

140
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,984
I think it's sexy.

141
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,487
Sexy?

142
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,864
Let me tell you something.
As a woman...

143
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,159
...there is nothing sexier...

144
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,079
...than a man who does not
want to have sex.

145
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,708
- No kidding.
- Oh, yeah. In fact, you know what I'd do?

146
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,335
I'd wait.

147
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,131
- You'd wait?
- Yes, absolutely. I would wait...

148
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,425
...and wait...

149
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,136
Then I'd wait some more.

150
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:18,640
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

151
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,810
I don't care how much she tells you
she wants it, I don't care if she begs...

152
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:26,815
...she pleads, she tells you
she's gonna have sex with another man.

153
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,692
That just means it's working.

154
00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:34,322
Women really want this?

155
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,324
More than jewelry.

156
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,925
Hi.

157
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,219
- Phoebe.
- Ta-da.

158
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:58,763
Hi.

159
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,308
Ah, look at you. You look great.

160
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,810
Do I? Thank you.

161
00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,855
- So do you. Sparkly.
- Thanks.

162
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,150
So...

163
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:15,572
Wow. This is pretty wonderful, huh,
Mr. Major Capades Guy.

164
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:21,494
I remember when you were just like
King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice Is Nice.

165
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,789
You always said I'd make it.

166
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,376
Yeah, well, you know,
I'm kind of spooky that way. Woo.

167
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,212
God, I missed you.

168
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,801
- I'm gonna get changed.
- Okay.

169
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,764
Um, now.

170
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,391
PHOEBE: What?
DUNCAN: Pheebs.

171
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,685
Oh. Right. Okay.

172
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,980
- Olé.
- What?

173
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,983
The Matador, so...

174
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,818
[CHUCKLES]

175
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,281
Olé. Ha, ha.

176
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,329
- Sweetie, can you hold this for a second?
- Sure.

177
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,955
Thanks.

178
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:07,499
[JULIE CHUCKLES]

179
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,048
- Uh, Julie?
- Yeah.

180
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,176
Sorry, you had a paleontologist
on your face.

181
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,137
But, uh, it's gone now. You're all right.

182
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,972
- Hi, everyone.
MONICA: Hi.

183
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,225
Oh, listen, listen...

184
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:29,270
I wanted to thank you
for, uh, our little talk before.

185
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,941
Oh, God, no problem.
So you're gonna go with the waiting thing?

186
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,611
Well, I was going to,
but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.

187
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,284
Good. Ahem. What did he say?

188
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,204
Basically, he told me to get over myself
and just do it.

189
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:49,916
So I thought about what you said
and about what he said.

190
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,627
And, well, his way,
I get to have sex tonight, so...

191
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,421
[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

192
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,678
What is this in my pocket?

193
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,556
Why, it's Joey's porno movie.

194
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,309
Pop it in.

195
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,604
I'm fine with it, I mean,
if you're okay watching a video...

196
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,065
...filled with two-nippled people.

197
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,280
Great. People having sex.
That's just what I need to see.

198
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,741
What's wrong with people having sex?

199
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,743
Well...

200
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:30,123
Well, um, you know,
these movies are offensive...

201
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:34,794
...and, uh, degrading
to women and females...

202
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:39,090
And, uh, the lighting's
always unflattering.

203
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,510
And...

204
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:46,014
- Monica, help me out here.
- Hell, I wanna see Joey.

205
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,893
[PORN MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

206
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,607
So is there, like, a story,
or do they just start doing it right...

207
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,025
[WOMAN MOANS ON TV]

208
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,068
Oh. Never mind.

209
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,989
Okay, now, wait a minute. That is the
craziest typing test I've ever seen.

210
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,076
All I say is, she better get the job.

211
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,496
Looks to me like he's the one
getting the job.

212
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,958
Shh. Hey, here I come. Here I come.

213
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,960
See, I'm coming to fix the copier.

214
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,964
I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking,
"What do I do? What do I do?"

215
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:24,093
So I just watch them have sex.

216
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,057
And then I say... Here's my line.

217
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,851
JOEY [ON TV]:
You know, that's bad for the paper tray.

218
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,855
- Nice work, my friend.
- Thank you.

219
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:39,943
Wait, you see me again.
Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.

220
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,989
There I am. There I am. There I am.

221
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:55,250
So, um... So, what's up?
You came to see me yesterday.

222
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,293
Oh, yeah, um...

223
00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,838
All right.

224
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,383
I kind of need a divorce.

225
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,678
Okay.

226
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:08,179
How come?

227
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:12,183
Um, actually, I'm getting married again.

228
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,601
What?

229
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,812
Oh, God,
I don't know how to tell you this.

230
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,357
I'm straight.

231
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,817
[GASPS]

232
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,652
Yeah, I know.

233
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,156
I don't understand. I don't understand.
How can you be straight?

234
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,826
I mean, you're so smart and funny...

235
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,912
...and you throw
such great Academy Award parties.

236
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,498
I know. That's what I kept telling myself.

237
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,543
But you just reach a point
where you can't live a lie anymore.

238
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,755
So how long have you known?

239
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,886
I guess on some level
I always knew I was straight.

240
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,930
I thought I was supposed
to be something else.

241
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:55,894
You know, I'm an ice dancer, all my
friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in.

242
00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:01,858
And, um... And there's actually a woman?

243
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,486
- Her name's Debra.
- Oh.

244
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,450
Well, is she the first
that you've been with?

245
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,870
Well, I've never told you this...

246
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:19,584
...but there were one or two times
back in college...

247
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,920
...when I'd get really drunk
and go to a straight bar...

248
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,380
...and wake up with a woman next to me.

249
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:29,761
But I told myself it was the liquor,
and everyone experiments in college.

250
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,347
Sure.

251
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,767
But now I know I don't have a choice
about this. I was born this way.

252
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,230
I don't know what to say.

253
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:44,400
I mean, you know,
you're married to someone for six years...

254
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,069
...and you think you know him.

255
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,280
And then one day he says,
"Oh, I'm not gay."

256
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,871
I'm... I'm still me.

257
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:02,418
Why couldn't you just have
figured this out six years ago?

258
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,632
You know,
it still smells like monkey in there.

259
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,220
Well, that saves us the conversation.

260
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,808
Well, this has been great,
but I'm officially wiped.

261
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,268
- Me too. We should get going.
RACHEL: No.

262
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:22,105
No. I mean... No. Come on, you guys.

263
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,775
Come on, look, it's only 11:30.

264
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:30,154
Let's just talk. We never just
hang out and talk anymore.

265
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,865
Rachel, that's all we do.

266
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:37,245
Maybe that's all we do.
What about Julie?

267
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,164
What about Julie?

268
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:44,377
Well, you have been in our lives
for nearly two months now...

269
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,879
...and we don't really know you.

270
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,673
I mean, who is Julie?

271
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,301
I mean, what do you like?
What don't you like?

272
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,721
We want to know everything.

273
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,973
Well, heh, that could take a while.

274
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,725
So?

275
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,104
I mean, who here does not have
the time to get to know Julie?

276
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,357
- I got the time to get to know Julie.
- I got time, yeah.

277
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:10,695
Uh, Rach, ahem, I know her pretty well.
Can I go?

278
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:14,866
That's fine.

279
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:18,745
Okay, Julie, so let's start with
your childhood. What was that like?

280
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,166
- Well, in a nutshell...
- Ah-ah-ah.

281
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,337
So, um, have you told your parents?

282
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,841
No, but it'll be okay. They're pretty cool.

283
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,385
My brother's straight, so...

284
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,305
Here you go.

285
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,058
You know what?
I just have one more question. Um...

286
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:45,438
If you had figured this out sooner,
and, um, I had been around...

287
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,441
...do you think I would have been
the one who?

288
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,486
No, no. That's all right. Don't tell me.

289
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,698
I don't think either answer
would make me feel better. Here.

290
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:58,868
I love you, Phoebe.

291
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,511
So your brother's straight, huh?

292
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,263
Seriously.

293
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:26,104
- And my second-grade teacher
was Miss Thomas...

294
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,981
...and my first-grade teacher
was Mrs. Cobb.

295
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,317
Ahem. Mrs. Gobb?

296
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,402
No, Cobb. Like cobb salad.

297
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,780
Hmm, okay.

298
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:39,450
Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?

299
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,119
I'm going home.

300
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,626
Boy, that Julie's a talker, huh?

301
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:51,963
Good night.

302
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,173
RACHEL:
Whew.

303
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:58,678
So it's pretty late. You're probably, uh,
not still planning on...

304
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,347
- Oh. No, no, I am.
- Oh.

305
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,600
Well, hey, are you nervous?

306
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:06,894
No, no. I, uh...

307
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,938
I have done it before.

308
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,231
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

309
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,692
Well, okay, I mean,
how are you gonna handle it?

310
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:17,029
Are you gonna talk about it beforehand?
Are you just gonna pounce?

311
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,533
I, uh... I don't know.
I guess I'm just gonna...

312
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,452
...see what happens.

313
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,581
Okay. Good luck.

314
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,499
What...? Uh...

315
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,920
- What?
- Nothing. I mean, um...

316
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:38,593
It is your first time with her, and, you know,
if the first time doesn't go well...

317
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,221
...well then, that's pretty darn
hard to recover from.

318
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,392
Okay, now I'm nervous.

319
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,563
Maybe you should put it off.

320
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,482
No, I don't want to put it off.

321
00:19:56,069 --> 00:20:01,199
God, I'm just... I spent last year
being so unbelievably miserable.

322
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,327
And now I'm actually happy.

323
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,247
You know, I mean, really happy.

324
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,625
I just don't wanna...

325
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,920
I don't wanna mess it up, you know?

326
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,256
I know.

327
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,467
Yeah.

328
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,844
I'm sorry.

329
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,138
No, it's not your fault.

330
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,598
Right.

331
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,394
Maybe it doesn't have to be this tough.

332
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:36,108
Maybe you were on the right track with
that whole, you know, spontaneous thing.

333
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,362
- I mean, women really like that.
- Really?

334
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,031
Yeah. I mean, you know, if...

335
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:45,534
I mean if it were me, I'd, you know,
want you to...

336
00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,703
- What?
- I don't know, catch me off guard.

337
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,997
You know, with, like, a really...

338
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,041
...good kiss.

339
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,543
You know, really...

340
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:58,756
...sort of, um, soft at first.

341
00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:04,804
And then maybe, um,
brush the hair away from my face.

342
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:09,392
And then look far into my eyes...

343
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:12,311
...in a way that lets me
know something...

344
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,815
...amazing is about to happen.

345
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,900
Uh-huh.

346
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:24,365
And then, I don't know, then...

347
00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,493
...you'd pull me
really close to you so that...

348
00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:31,289
So that I'd be pressed up, you know,
right against you.

349
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:35,876
And, um, it would get kind of...

350
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,213
...sweaty...

351
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:42,925
...and, uh... And blurry.

352
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,180
And then it's just happening.

353
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,933
Oh.

354
00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,481
Thanks, Rach. Good night.

355
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,319
[GROANS]

356
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:03,195
Oh, God.

357
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,172
Good morning.

358
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:25,343
Well, somebody got some last night.

359
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:31,599
Twice.

360
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:45,780
[English - US - SDH]