1 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,051 WOMAN [ON INTERCOM]: Flight number 457 from Beijing now arriving. 2 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,477 Oh, my God. 3 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:05,397 Oh, my... Excuse me. Move, move, move! Emergency, please! 4 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,024 Excuse me, excuse me. 5 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,069 [YELLS] 6 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,908 - Rach! - Ah! 7 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,534 There you are! 8 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,620 ROSS: Hey! - Hi! 9 00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:22,831 Oh! So, so. 10 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:25,793 How was China? You! 11 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:29,338 It was... It was great. Oh, what happened? 12 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,256 - What? I am? - You're bleeding. 13 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,050 - God. - Oh, look at that! Yes, I am. Heh. 14 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:36,303 Enough about me, Mr. Back From The Orient! 15 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:40,140 Come on, I wanna hear everything. Everything! 16 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:44,103 Well, uh, where do I start? Um... 17 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:48,440 This is Julie. Uh, Julie, this is Rachel. 18 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,276 Hi. Heh. 19 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,487 Uh, oh! These are... 20 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,281 - These are... Aren't for you. - Oh. 21 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:59,284 Heh. Uh, these are for you. 22 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,329 [SLOWLY] Welcome to our country. 23 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:07,709 [SLOWLY] Thank you. I'm from New York. 24 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,003 [LAUGHS] 25 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:13,715 Well, not a problem. We'll use them to stop the bleeding. 26 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,844 Okay. Uh, baggage claim? 27 00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,512 - Okay. - Okay. 28 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,478 - No way. - I'm telling you, she went to the airport. 29 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,438 And she's gonna go for it with Ross. 30 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:32,651 Oh, my God. This is huge. This... 31 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,070 This is bigger than huge. This is... 32 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,322 All right, what's bigger than huge? 33 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,868 - Um, this? - Yes. 34 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,453 Guys, you got new haircuts! 35 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:45,789 Yes, yes, we did. Thanks to Vidal Buffay. 36 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,541 [CHUCKLES] 37 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:48,750 Because, you know: 38 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,253 [IN LOW VOICE] "If you don't look good, we don't look good." 39 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,505 [IN NORMAL VOICE] I love that voice! Ha, ha. 40 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,508 - You guys! - Oh, oh. 41 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,094 Airport. Airport. Ross. 42 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,762 Not... Not alone. 43 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:04,057 Julie. Arm around her! 44 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:07,895 Unh! Cramp! Cramp! Cramp! 45 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:10,689 Okay, I think she's trying to tell us something. 46 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,025 Quick, get the verbs. 47 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,444 - Ow. - You! You! 48 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,112 You said he liked me! 49 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,822 You! You...! 50 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,450 You slowpokes! 51 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,494 That's all right, Rach. We got the bags. Uh... 52 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,580 Hi. Hello. 53 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,792 Julie, this is my sister, Monica. This is Chandler. 54 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,878 - Hey. - Phoebe, hi. Mwah. 55 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,963 - Joey, what up? - Hey. 56 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:38,717 - Everyone, this is Julie. - Julie. 57 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,178 ALL: Oh. 58 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,932 ALL: Hi! 59 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,184 Hi! But I'm not here, you haven't met me. 60 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,896 I'll make a better impression when I don't have 20 hours of plane on me. 61 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,065 - And bus. - Oh, my God! 62 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,442 - With the screaming guy... - And the spitting. 63 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,736 ROSS: You gotta hear this story. 64 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,030 We're on this bus that's 200 years old. 65 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,865 Two hundred, at least. 66 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:05,494 - And this guy... - And the chicken poops in her lap! Ha! 67 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,834 Oh, I'm so sorry. 68 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,212 I just gave away the ending, didn't I? 69 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,673 Ugh, I just heard this story in the cab... 70 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:21,677 ...and it is all I can think about. 71 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,807 This is amazing. I mean, how...? 72 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:30,060 - How did this happen? - Ross and I were in grad school together. 73 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,480 We haven't seen each other since then. I land in China... 74 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:36,942 ...guess who's in charge of the dig? - Julie! 75 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:39,987 Julie. Isn't that great? 76 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:45,200 Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? 77 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,329 It's an expression. 78 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,207 We just wanted to say a quick hi. 79 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,960 - Then we're gonna go see the baby. - Then get some sleep. 80 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,546 Yeah, it's 6:00 tomorrow night, our time. 81 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,840 Well don't tell us what's gonna happen, though 82 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,800 Because I like to be surprised. 83 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,723 RACHEL: Bye! ROSS: Bye. 84 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,485 - Rach. Can I get some coffee? Thank you. - Sure. 85 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,362 - Hey, Rach... - Did you talk to him yet? 86 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,448 - No. - Then, no. 87 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,338 So, what the hell happened to you in China? 88 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,674 I mean, when last we left you, you were in love with, you know. 89 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,093 I know. I know I was. 90 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,929 But there was always this voice inside that kept saying: 91 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:52,184 "It's never gonna happen. Move on." You know whose voice that was? 92 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,269 God? 93 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,855 It was you, pal. 94 00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,691 Well, maybe it was God doing me. 95 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:05,113 You were right. She looks at me and sees a friend. That's all. 96 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,991 And then I met Julie, and... 97 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,993 I don't know. We're having a great time. 98 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:14,456 I never would have gone for it with her, if it hadn't been for you. 99 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,293 Well, you owe me one, big guy. 100 00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:21,421 - Here's your lemonade. - I didn't order lemonade. 101 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,508 Oh. Well then you better go take that back. 102 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,259 They're gonna charge you for that. 103 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,929 - But... - Go, go, go! Come on, come on! 104 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,225 Okay, so, uh, what did you find out? 105 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:37,062 He said... 106 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,526 He said they're having a great time. 107 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:45,028 - I'm sorry. - What? 108 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,864 But the silver lining, if you wanna see it... 109 00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:51,493 ...is that he made this decision all by himself... 110 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,663 ...without any outside help whatsoever. 111 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,833 How is that a silver lining? 112 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,627 You have to really wanna see it. 113 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,798 [CHEERING ON TV] 114 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,094 Ironically, these guys were picked last in gym. 115 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,763 Hey, Pheebs. 116 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,808 - You know what I'm thinking? - Oh, okay. 117 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,355 How... 118 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:23,233 ...it's been so long since you've had sex... 119 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,944 ...you're wondering if they've changed it? 120 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:30,740 No. Although now that's what I'm thinking. 121 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,869 So, what were you thinking? 122 00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:36,496 I was thinking you gave the guys great haircuts. 123 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,206 I thought you'd like to do mine. 124 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,083 Oh! No. 125 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:44,337 - Why not? - Because I'm just... 126 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:48,049 I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak. 127 00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:49,759 No, you're not. 128 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,803 I know I'm not, but you are. 129 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,097 I was trying to spare your feelings. 130 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,724 [PHONE RINGS] 131 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,059 Hello? Oh, hi. 132 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:01,104 Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, Julie for you. 133 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,443 ROSS: Hello? Hi. 134 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,779 Hey. Anybody know a good tailor? 135 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,990 - You need clothes altered? - No, no. 136 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,868 I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk. 137 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:18,914 Go see Frankie. My family's been going to him forever. 138 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,999 He did my first suit when I was 15. 139 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,543 No, wait, 16. 140 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:27,380 No, excuse me, heh, 15. 141 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,842 All right, when was 1990? 142 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:36,014 Okay, you have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance. 143 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,441 Okay. Okay. Sweetheart, I'll see you later. 144 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,651 [CLEARS THROAT] 145 00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,653 Okay, bye. What? 146 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,448 Oh, that is so sweet. 147 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,993 No... Ha, ha. 148 00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,246 No. Okay. No, you hang up. 149 00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,122 No, you... Okay. 150 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,960 Okay. One, two, three. 151 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,003 Shh. 152 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,966 Well you didn't hang up either. She didn't hang up. 153 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,219 [LAUGHING] 154 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,681 Okay, no. No, you hang up. 155 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,600 You. You. Yo... 156 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,611 Sorry, I thought you were talking to me. 157 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,365 - Rachel. Heh. - Sorry. 158 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,784 - I'll just call her back. - Okay. 159 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,371 ROSS: Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry. We got disconnected. 160 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,831 No, you hang up. 161 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,333 Okay, okay, okay. How did this happen to me? How? 162 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:48,336 A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. 163 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:51,298 Ross was just Ross. Just this guy. 164 00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:55,010 Now all of a sudden, he's Ross... 165 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:59,764 ...ugh, this really great guy that I can't have. 166 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,267 Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too. 167 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,602 I know you did. 168 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,148 Ugh. I'm just gonna deal with it. I'm just gonna deal with it 169 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,941 [ROSS KISSES INTO PHONE] 170 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,570 I gotta get out of here! 171 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:20,035 I don't care what you guys say. Something's bothering her. 172 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:28,126 You know, I think I was 16. 173 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:33,048 Please, just a little bit off the back. 174 00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,549 Um, I'm still on "no." 175 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,928 - Uh, morning. - Hey. 176 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:41,097 Could you close your eyes for a sec? 177 00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:44,434 Oh, no, no, no. I'm not falling for that again. 178 00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:50,106 - What's going on? - I sort of did a stupid thing last night. 179 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,067 What stupid thing did you do? 180 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,110 [SPEAKS IN ITALIAN] 181 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,862 Ew! 182 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,537 RACHEL: Why don't you just go get dressed... 183 00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:08,208 ...then you'll be on your way. Bye-bye. 184 00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:11,044 Rachel, how did this happen? 185 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,546 I don't know, I kind of ran into him last night. 186 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,090 - Where? - At his apartment. 187 00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,800 Is this juice? 188 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:21,179 Whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe? 189 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:24,474 Oh, God, I know. I'm pathetic, I'm a loser. 190 00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,894 Honey, you're not pathetic. You're just sad. 191 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,438 Yeah. People do stupid things when they're upset. 192 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,692 My God, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't... 193 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,323 But this is about your horrible mistake. 194 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,910 - Hi. ALL: Hey! 195 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,246 - Hi... ROSS: Sorry we're late. 196 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,664 We were, uh... 197 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,166 Well, there was touching. 198 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,547 - Hey...! - Oh. 199 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,216 - Hey, Ross! - Paolo. Ha. 200 00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,718 What a... 201 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,304 What, uh...? What are you doing here? 202 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,306 - I do Raquel. - Ah. 203 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,481 So, uh, he's back? 204 00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:16,234 Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem? 205 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,861 No, not a problem. 206 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,363 Good. Glad it's not a problem. 207 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,908 Okay, you're gonna have to not touch my ass. 208 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:31,458 Well, despite the yummy bagels and palpable tension... 209 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,585 ...I've got pants that need to be altered. 210 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,297 Oh, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. 211 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,132 He'll know what it means. 212 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,220 You sure he's gonna be able to crack that code? 213 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:49,642 It's funny. The last time Paolo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter. 214 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,395 All right. Okay. 215 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:57,066 But... But! You have to promise that you will not be all controlly and bossy... 216 00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:00,028 ...and all, you know, Monica about it. 217 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:01,738 I promise. 218 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,573 All right, let's see. 219 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,911 Now, some of you are gonna get cut and some of you aren't. 220 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,289 But I promise, none of you will feel a thing. 221 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,958 Okay. 222 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,389 - All right, that's it. I quit. - What? I didn't say anything! 223 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:32,310 Yeah, but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. 224 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,396 This is the face of a person who, you know... 225 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,690 ...doesn't trust a person. 226 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,485 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. 227 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,405 It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed. 228 00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:48,076 Would you relax? I know what I am doing. 229 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,870 This is how he wears it. 230 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,458 - How who wears it? - Demi Moore. 231 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,503 Heh. Demi Moore is not a he. 232 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:01,422 Well, he was a he in Arthur and in 10. 233 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,134 That's Dudley Moore! 234 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:08,096 I said I wanted it like Demi Moore! 235 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,974 - Oh. Oh! - Oh, my God! 236 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,143 - Oh, God! - Oh, my God! 237 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,688 Oh, my God! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 238 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,231 Which one is Demi Moore? 239 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:23,278 She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost! 240 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,113 Oh, she's got gorgeous hair. 241 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,490 - I know! - Oh, my God! 242 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,957 How long do you want the cuffs? 243 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,877 At least as long as I have the pants. 244 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,465 I just got that. 245 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,846 Okay. Now we'll do your inseam. 246 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,681 [CLEARS THROAT] 247 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,028 How is she? 248 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,614 It's too soon to tell. 249 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,367 She's resting, which is a good sign. 250 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,288 - How's the hair? - I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. 251 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,206 It doesn't look good. 252 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:22,295 I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. 253 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,298 Can we see her? 254 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,009 Your hair looks too good. It would upset her. 255 00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:31,387 Ross, why don't you come on in. 256 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,980 - Well, how you doing? - I'm okay. 257 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,608 - Ooh, that bad, huh? - What? 258 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,278 Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. 259 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,948 It's one of my gifts. Sit. 260 00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,784 Ugh. 261 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:57,956 Ugh, Joey, when I saw him get off that plane with her... 262 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:01,417 ...I really thought I just hit rock bottom. 263 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:05,129 But today, it's like there's rock bottom... 264 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,256 ...50 feet of crap... 265 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,342 ...then me. 266 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,928 You gotta tell Ross how you feel. 267 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:15,223 Oh, come on, how can I just tell him? What about Julie? 268 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,267 What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. 269 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:21,729 Ross has been in love with you for 10 years. 270 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,108 - I don't know. I don't know. - Look, Rach, Rach. 271 00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:27,694 I've been with my share of women. 272 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,239 I've been with a lot of people's share of women. 273 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:33,825 But the point is... 274 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:38,121 ...I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you. 275 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:41,666 Really? 276 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,091 Yo, paisan. 277 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,804 Can I talk to you for a sec? 278 00:16:58,225 --> 00:16:59,809 Your tailor... 279 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,395 ...is a very bad man! 280 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:07,734 - Frankie? What are you talking about? - Hey, what's going on? 281 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,449 Joey's tailor... 282 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,829 ...took advantage of me. 283 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,041 - What? - No way. 284 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,543 I've been going to the guy for 12 years. 285 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,879 Oh, come on. He said he was gonna do my inseam. 286 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,716 Then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite... 287 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,301 What? 288 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,470 Cupping. 289 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:41,142 That's how they do pants! 290 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,229 First they go up one side, they move it over. 291 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:49,484 Then they go up the other side, move it back, then they do the rear. 292 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,364 What? Ross, tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants? 293 00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,617 Yes, yes, it is. In prison! 294 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,751 What's the matter with you? 295 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,377 What? 296 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,257 That's not? 297 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,973 Oh, my God. 298 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:30,274 Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better. 299 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,362 I like it. 300 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,197 Yeah, I do. I think it's a 10! 301 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,990 [LAUGHS] 302 00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:42,578 Thank you. My hair is very amused. 303 00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,498 Oh, come on, things could be worse. I mean, uh... 304 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,417 You could "get caught between the moon and New York City. 305 00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:49,877 [LAUGHS] 306 00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:52,839 I know it's crazy, but it's true." 307 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,260 Thank you. 308 00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:59,595 - Well, I gotta go. Bye. - See you. 309 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:01,055 Bye, Rach! 310 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,890 RACHEL: Wait, are you leaving? 311 00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,518 That's what I meant by "bye." 312 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,854 Well, uh, can I talk to you for a sec? 313 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,480 Okay. 314 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,777 When the doctor does that hernia test... 315 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,071 That's okay. 316 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,326 - What's going on? - Um... 317 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,914 - Well, um, okay, first of all... - Mm-hm. 318 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:30,001 ...Paolo and I are not back together. 319 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,961 That was a stupid thing I did. 320 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,298 If I could go back in time and do it again... 321 00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:37,633 ...well, I wouldn't. 322 00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,760 - Ahem. - Um... 323 00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:41,971 - Heh. - Second of all... 324 00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,557 What? 325 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:48,227 Before I say anything... 326 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:51,230 ...is this one of those things where you break up with a guy. 327 00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:52,857 Then I tell you what I think... 328 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,443 ...and the next day you get back together with him... 329 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,446 ...and I look like a complete idiot? - No, no, no. 330 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:01,991 Okay. Um, well, then, I think the guy's scum. 331 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,621 I hate him. I mean, I actually... I physically hate him. 332 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,165 You know? I always have. 333 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:13,336 And you are way too good to be with a guy like that. 334 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:15,755 - Really? - Rach? 335 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,549 You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you... 336 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,010 ...and who gets how funny... 337 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,679 ...and sweet and amazing... 338 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,974 ...and adorable and sexy you are. 339 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:30,770 You know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking: 340 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:34,649 "Oh, my God. I'm with Rachel!" Heh. 341 00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:37,735 You know? Someone who makes you feel good. 342 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,071 Like the way I do with Julie. 343 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,329 Was there a "second of all"? 344 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,707 Um... 345 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:57,129 No, um, I think that was the whole "all." 346 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,967 I gotta go. Okay? 347 00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:03,636 - Okay. - Thanks. 348 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,846 Okay. 349 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,187 No, I swear to God, Dad! 350 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:15,481 That's not how they measure pants! 351 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:26,492 I was thinking of doing it shorter, like Andie MacDowell's haircut. 352 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,536 - Oh, yeah. Oh, I could do that. - Really? 353 00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:31,247 - Yeah. You wanna do it now? - Great! 354 00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:33,124 - Okay. - Okay. 355 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:34,875 See you. 356 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,586 Okay, I just wanna make really sure this time. 357 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:38,838 Uh-huh. Ahem. 358 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:43,342 Andie MacDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right? 359 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:45,469 No. 360 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:51,392 No, no, no, no, no, no. That's Roddy McDowall. 361 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,354 Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes. 362 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,149 - Oh! Yeah, okay. - Yeah. Okay? 363 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,234 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 364 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,660 [English - US - SDH]