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NARRATOR:
Previously on Friends:

2
00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:06,046
- Excuse me, miss.
- It's Phoebe.

3
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:08,340
- Will that be all?
CHANDLER: They're twins.

4
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:11,051
Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.

5
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,972
- It's for Ursula.
- Sure, yeah. Okay, it fits.

6
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,932
Marcel, give Rossy the remote.

7
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,684
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

8
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,894
How did he do this?

9
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,439
It's this whole stupid Ursula thing.

10
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,859
So he's going out with her.
Is it really so terrible?

11
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,319
- You don't know my sister.
- Talk to Joey.

12
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,364
- He's falling in love with her.
- You won't lose him.

13
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:36,035
They haven't even slept together yet.
That's not serious.

14
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:40,122
Oh. Um, yeah.

15
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,665
May we help you?

16
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:42,958
[RACHEL YELLS]

17
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,626
Rachel! Rachel!

18
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,087
I'm okay. I'm okay.

19
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,924
RACHEL:
Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.

20
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:53,469
Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.

21
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:57,473
Uh, hi, uh, my friend was taking down
our Christmas lights...

22
00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:00,934
...and she fell off the balcony
and may have broken her foot or ankle.

23
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,729
My God, you still have
your Christmas lights up?

24
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,900
Fill this out and bring it back.

25
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:11,612
- Okay. Here you go.
- Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.

26
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,990
MONICA:
Okay. Whew.

27
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,283
All right.

28
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:17,993
Name...

29
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,495
...address...

30
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,915
Okay. In case of emergency, call?

31
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,333
You.

32
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:25,751
Really?

33
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:27,419
Yeah.

34
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,588
Oh, that is so sweet.

35
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:33,842
Oh, gosh. I love you.

36
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,594
Okay, insurance?

37
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:38,806
Oh, yeah, check it.
Definitely gonna want some of that.

38
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:41,475
You don't have insurance?

39
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,310
Why? How much is this gonna cost?

40
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:46,313
I have no idea, but X-rays alone
could be a couple hundred dollars.

41
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,982
- What are we gonna do?
- There's not much we can do.

42
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:53,737
Uh, unless I use yours.

43
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,573
No, no, no, no, no.

44
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,075
Well, now, wait a second.

45
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:01,495
Who did I just put as my
"in case of emergency" person?

46
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,497
That's insurance fraud.

47
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:08,502
Well, all right, then. Forget it.
Might as well just go home.

48
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,045
- Ow, ow, ow, ow!
- Okay, okay.

49
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:15,008
- Okay, come here. I hate this.
- Thank you. I love you.

50
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:20,389
Hi, heh. Um, I'm gonna need
a new set of these forms.

51
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:21,932
Why?

52
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,225
[LAUGHING]

53
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,435
I am really an idiot.

54
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,022
You see, I was filling out
my friend's form...

55
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,400
...and instead of putting
her information...

56
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,901
...I put mine.

57
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,028
You are an idiot.

58
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,199
Yep, that's me. Heh.
I am that stupid.

59
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,246
I had a dream last night
where I was playing football with my kid.

60
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,331
- That's nice.
- That's nice.

61
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,375
No, no. With him.

62
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:54,715
I'm on this field,
and they hike me the baby.

63
00:02:56,426 --> 00:03:00,179
I know I've gotta do something because the
Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.

64
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,599
Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.

65
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,893
Right, but...

66
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:11,106
...it is just me and the baby,
so I'm thinking they can take us.

67
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,985
And so I, uh, heh...

68
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,737
I just heave it downfield.

69
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,864
What are you, crazy?
That's a baby.

70
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,325
He should take the sack?

71
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,332
Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield.

72
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:32,419
And I realize that I'm the one
who's supposed to catch him, right?

73
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,380
Only I know there's no way
I'm not gonna get there in time.

74
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,424
So I am running and I'm running...

75
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,301
...and that is when I woke up.

76
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,930
See, I am so not ready
to be a father.

77
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:45,057
Hey, you're gonna be fine.

78
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:48,644
You're one of the most caring,
responsible men in North America.

79
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,022
You're gonna make a great dad.

80
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:55,859
Yeah, Ross. You and the baby
just need better blocking.

81
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:03,033
Oh. Have either of you ever been to
the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?

82
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,952
Only if you order stuff.

83
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,580
I'm taking Ursula tonight.
It's her birthday.

84
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,833
- Whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
- When's that?

85
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,585
ROSS:
Uh...

86
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,504
...tonight.

87
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:19,091
Ugh, man, what are the odds
of that happening?

88
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,970
You take your time.

89
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,643
There it is.

90
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:34,606
So, what are you gonna do?

91
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:39,319
What can I do? I don't want
to screw it up with Ursula.

92
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,612
And your friend Phoebe?

93
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:44,741
If she's my friend, hopefully
she'll understand. Wouldn't you guys?

94
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,077
Man, if you tried that on my birthday...

95
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,580
...you'd be staring at
the business end of a hissy fit.

96
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:56,211
You add a pinch of saffron,
it makes all the difference.

97
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,466
Okay, uh...

98
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,552
- Monica?
- Yes?

99
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,762
Yes, she is.

100
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,640
- Hi. This is my friend Rachel.
- Hi.

101
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,392
Hi, uh, Rachel, I'm Dr. Mitchell.

102
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:13,103
And I'm his friend Dr. Rosen.

103
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,023
Aren't you a little cute
to be a doctor?

104
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,482
Excuse me?

105
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,609
God, young, young.
I meant young, heh.

106
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,069
Young to be a doctor.

107
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:23,071
- Oh, good, Rach.
- Thank you.

108
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,323
Right.

109
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[R.E.M.'S "WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY,
KENNETH?" PLAYING ON STEREO]

110
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,752
So he said it was just a sprain,
and that was it.

111
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,254
Uh, you left out the stupid part.

112
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:40,964
It's not stupid.

113
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:45,552
The very cute doctors asked us out
for tomorrow night, and I said yes.

114
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:49,056
I think it's totally insane.
I mean, they work for the hospital.

115
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:52,184
It's like returning
to the scene of the crime.

116
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:56,813
- I say we blow off the dates.
- What? Monica, they are cute.

117
00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:00,692
They are doctors. Cute doctors.
Doctors who are cute.

118
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,653
All right, what have
we learned so far?

119
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,823
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

120
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:08,867
[MUSIC STOPS]

121
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,206
ALL:
Surprise!

122
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,716
What the hell are you doing?
You scared the crap out of me.

123
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,387
- Was that the cake?
- Yeah.

124
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,972
I got a lemon shmush.

125
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,683
Come on.
She'll be here any minute.

126
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,769
RACHEL:
I hope it's okay.

127
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,983
"Happy Birthday, Peehee."

128
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:46,446
Maybe we can make
a B out of one of those roses.

129
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,116
Yeah, we'll just use
our special cake tools.

130
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,827
- Hey, what's going on?
CHANDLER: Oh, we just...

131
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,495
ALL:
Surprise!

132
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,497
Oh, oh, oh!

133
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,750
This is so great.

134
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,001
Oh, my God.

135
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,087
This was not at all scary.

136
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,005
Hi, everybody. Hi, Betty.

137
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,465
Betty, hi.

138
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,969
You found Betty.
Oh, my gosh. This is so great.

139
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:12,597
Everybody I love is in the same room.

140
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,516
Where's Joey?

141
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,770
Did you see Betty?

142
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,993
I tell you, I wouldn't mind having a piece
of this sun-dried-tomato business.

143
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:38,165
Five years ago, if somebody'd said to me,
"Here's a tomato that looks like a prune"...

144
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,750
...I'd have said,
"Get out of my office."

145
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,965
Dad, before I was born,
did you freak out at all?

146
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,925
I'm not freaking out.
I'm just saying...

147
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,927
...if someone had come to me
with the idea...

148
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:55,682
Dad, Dad, Dad. I'm talking about
the whole, uh, baby thing.

149
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,768
Did you, uh, ever get this sort of...

150
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:03,440
...panicky, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna
be a father" kind of a thing?

151
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:04,983
No.

152
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,695
Your mother really did the work.
I was busy with the business.

153
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,780
I wasn't around that much.

154
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,991
Is that what this is about?

155
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,951
No, no, Dad. I was just wondering.

156
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,622
There's time to make up for that.
We can do stuff together.

157
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:23,251
You always wanted to go to colonial
Williamsburg. How about we do that?

158
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,712
Thanks, Dad. Really, heh.

159
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,590
You know, I just, I just...

160
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:31,551
I just needed to know, um...

161
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:34,846
...when did you start
to feel like a father?

162
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:41,186
Oh. Well, I guess it must have been
the day after you were born.

163
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,856
We were in the hospital room,
your mother was asleep...

164
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:48,902
...and they brought you in
and gave you to me.

165
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:51,238
You were this ugly little red thing.

166
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,489
[CHUCKLES]

167
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:56,952
And all of a sudden, you grabbed
my finger with your whole fist...

168
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,745
...and you squeezed it...

169
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,705
...so tight.

170
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,459
And that's when I knew.

171
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,465
So you don't want to go
to Williamsburg?

172
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,720
We can go to Williamsburg.

173
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,640
Eat your fish.

174
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:21,560
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

175
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:22,936
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

176
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,230
MONICA:
Rachel, the cute doctors are here.

177
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:26,898
RACHEL:
Okay, coming.

178
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,776
Hi, come on in.
Hey, Michael, Jeffrey.

179
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,361
- Hi.
- Hi.

180
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,654
Uh, here, we brought wine.

181
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:36,992
Look at this. It's from the cellars
of Ernest and Tova Borgnine.

182
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,911
- So how could we resist?
- Oh, that's great.

183
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,205
- So, Monica, how's the ankle?
- It's, uh...

184
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,873
[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

185
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,585
Why don't you tell them?

186
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,753
After all, it is your ankle.

187
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,215
You know, it's feeling a lot better.
Thank you.

188
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,093
Listen, why don't you guys sit down,
and we'll get you some glasses.

189
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,178
- Okay.
- Okay.

190
00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,098
- Um...
- Stat.

191
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:06,021
Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we
just tell them who we really are?

192
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:10,150
- I mean, I think it'll be fine.
- It will not. We'll get in trouble.

193
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,277
Monica, would you stop being
such a wuss?

194
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:16,323
A wuss? Excuse me
for living in the real world.

195
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,950
- So?
- So they still seem normal.

196
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:20,410
That's because they are.

197
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,330
You have to admit, when we go out
with women we meet at the hospital...

198
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,665
Would you relax?
Take a look around.

199
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,127
There are no pagan altars.

200
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,089
No piles of bones in the corners.

201
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,467
They're fine. Go like this:

202
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:43,391
I said we are not going to do it, okay?
Sometimes you can be such a big baby.

203
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,226
- I am not a baby.
- Be serious.

204
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,604
- You get uptight...
- You act like a princess.

205
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,231
- You know what? You know what?
- What? What?

206
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:54,361
Every day you are becoming
more and more like your mother.

207
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,489
Excuse me. Hello, here we go.

208
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,576
This is a great place.
How long have you lived here?

209
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,746
Thanks. I've been here
about six years.

210
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:08,124
And Rachel moved in a few months ago.

211
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:11,711
See, I was supposed to get married...

212
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,963
...but, um, I left the guy at the altar.

213
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,219
- Really?
- Yeah.

214
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:22,180
Yeah, I know
it's pretty selfish, but, heh...

215
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,808
...hey, that's me.

216
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,855
- Why don't you try the hummus?
RACHEL: Ahem.

217
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,399
So, Monica, what do you do?

218
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,902
Uh, I am a, uh, chef
at a restaurant uptown.

219
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,571
- Oh, good for you.
- Yeah, it is.

220
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:44,828
Mostly because I get to boss people
around, which I just love to do.

221
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,957
Well, this hummus is great.

222
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,875
God bless the chickpea.

223
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,088
[LAUGHING]

224
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:56,965
Oh, God.

225
00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:59,634
I am so spoiled.

226
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:04,931
That's it.

227
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,227
And by the way, have I mentioned
that back in high school...

228
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:10,812
...I was a cow?

229
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,275
I used to wet my bed.

230
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,987
I use my breasts to get
other people's attention.

231
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,114
We both do that.

232
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,415
[PHONE RINGING]

233
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,214
Monica and Rachel's apartment.

234
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:42,427
Uh... Uh, yeah, just one second.
Uh, Rachel, it's your dad.

235
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,639
Hi, Dad.

236
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,850
No, no. It's me.

237
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,604
Listen, Dad,
I can't talk right now. Um...

238
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,898
But there's something, um...

239
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:57,942
There's something
that I've been meaning to tell you.

240
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,486
Excuse me.

241
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,946
Remember back in freshman year?

242
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:05,116
Well, Billy Dreskin and I
had sex on your bed.

243
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:16,503
Daddy...

244
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:20,465
Daddy... Daddy, why?
Why would I sleep with Billy Dreskin?

245
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,967
His father tried to put
you out of business.

246
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,677
You are dead.

247
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,100
Ross, he's got the remote again.

248
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,519
Good.

249
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,063
Maybe he can switch it back.

250
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,899
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

251
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,276
Maybe not.

252
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:43,196
Hello?

253
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,699
Uh, ueah... Uh...

254
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:51,120
Okay, uh, hold on a second and let me
just check and see if she's here.

255
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:55,250
It's the woman from the hospital.
There's a problem with the form.

256
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,168
Oh, God, what do we do?

257
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,212
I don't know.
Just find out what they want.

258
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:01,297
Okay. No, you do it.

259
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,217
Hello. This is Monica.

260
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:05,760
Yeah?

261
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,179
Oh. Okay.

262
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,723
Yes, we'll be right down.
Thank you.

263
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:14,644
We forgot to sign
one of the admissions forms.

264
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:18,106
- Okay, you're right, this wasn't worth it.
- Thank you.

265
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,066
- Okay, let me just change.
- Yes.

266
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,238
- Hey.
- Hey.

267
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:27,240
Trouble?

268
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:30,618
Your sister stood me up
the other night.

269
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,455
Oh, no. Don't you hate it
when people aren't there for you?

270
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,377
- Did you try calling her?
- I've been trying for two days.

271
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:42,380
When I called the restaurant,
they said she was too busy to talk.

272
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:45,300
I can't believe
she's blowing me off.

273
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:05,778
Hey.

274
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,323
Oh.

275
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,409
Um, you got a minute?

276
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,495
Um, yeah, I'm just working.

277
00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:24,631
- So...
- Uh-huh?

278
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,551
Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.

279
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,345
Oh, wow, you remembered.

280
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:38,311
Oh. It's a Judy Jetson Thermos.

281
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,812
Right. Like the kind you...

282
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,189
Right.

283
00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,025
Oh, I got something for you too.

284
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,443
How'd you know I was coming?

285
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,780
Um, yeah, um, "twin" thing.

286
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,368
I can't believe you did this.

287
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:55,370
I can't believe you...

288
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,246
...did this.

289
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,670
So, what's the deal with, um,
you and Joey?

290
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:05,838
Oh, right.

291
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,841
He is so great. But that's over.

292
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,594
- Does he know?
- Who?

293
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:17,100
Joey. You know, um, ahem,
he's really nutsy about you.

294
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,060
He is? Why?

295
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,229
- You got me.
- Right.

296
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,522
Excuse me...

297
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:25,400
...doesn't this come
with a side salad?

298
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,861
So, um, are you gonna call him?

299
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,948
- What, you think he likes me?
- No. Joey.

300
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:37,078
Oh. No, no. He is so smart.
He'll figure it out.

301
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,955
Do you want some chicken?

302
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,083
No, no.
No food with a face, remember?

303
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,128
You have not changed.

304
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:46,879
Yeah, you too.

305
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,094
- Hi. Remember us?
- Mm-hm.

306
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:57,557
Um, yeah, you just called about needing
a signature on the admissions form?

307
00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,268
Well, it turns out
we need a whole new one.

308
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,562
Because, um, you see...

309
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:05,231
...I put the wrong name again.

310
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,776
- Because, um...
- You're that stupid.

311
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,739
I am. I'm that stupid.

312
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:15,825
Yeah, and I'm just gonna pay
for this with a check.

313
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,077
You know, your insurance will cover that.

314
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,872
Yeah, I know.
I'm just not that bright either.

315
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,584
Okay, worst case scenario:

316
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:28,212
- Say you never feel like a father.
- Uh-huh.

317
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:32,341
Say your son never feels
connected to you as one.

318
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:36,471
Say all of his relationships
are affected by this.

319
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,389
Do you have a point?

320
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,517
You know, you'd think I would.

321
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,437
[MARCEL GASPING]

322
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:46,522
What's up with the simian?

323
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,650
It's just a fur ball.

324
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,154
Okay, whose turn is it?

325
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,323
Yours. I just got 43 points for "kidney."

326
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:59,077
No, you got zero points for "idney."

327
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,621
I had a K. Where's my K?

328
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,456
[GASPING]

329
00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:11,631
You've got to help me.
My monkey swallowed a K.

330
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,341
Get that animal out of here.

331
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:17,011
The animal hospital is way across town.
He's choking. I don't know what to do.

332
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,889
- What's going on?
- Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile.

333
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:25,645
Excuse me.
This hospital is for people.

334
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:28,231
Lady, he is people.
He has a name, okay?

335
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,066
He watches Jeopardy...

336
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,027
...he touches himself
when nobody's watching.

337
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,613
Please, have a heart.

338
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,074
- I'll take a look at him.
- Oh, thank you.

339
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:39,367
- Michael.
- Rachel.

340
00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,618
- What?
- Monica.

341
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,620
- Oh.
- Hi.

342
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:56,175
Hey.

343
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,261
Urs.

344
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,763
What are you doing here?
I've been trying to call you.

345
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:02,974
Listen, um...

346
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:07,019
Don't say "listen." I know that
"listen." I've said that "listen."

347
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,313
I'm sorry.

348
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,358
I don't get it.
What happened?

349
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,027
What about everything
you said under the bridge?

350
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,322
Yeah, um, ahem...

351
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,742
You know, just forget about
what I said under the bridge.

352
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:25,163
I was talking crazy that night.
I was so drunk.

353
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:27,874
You don't drink.

354
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,585
That's right, I don't.

355
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,087
But I was drunk on you.

356
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:37,049
- Oh, Urs.
- But, yeah, so it's not gonna work.

357
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,428
Why? Is it because
I'm friends with Phoebe?

358
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,473
If it was, would you
stop hanging out with her?

359
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:47,685
No.

360
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,645
No, I couldn't do that.

361
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:53,107
Um, then, yeah, it's because of Phoebe.

362
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,278
So you know, it's either her or me.

363
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:01,866
Then, uh... Then I'm sorry.

364
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,080
You know...

365
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:10,625
...you're gonna be
really, really hard to get over.

366
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,501
I know.

367
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:23,137
I don't know whether it's just
because we're breaking up or what...

368
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,389
...but you have never
looked so beautiful.

369
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,099
Really?

370
00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,423
- Pheebs?
- Yeah.

371
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,394
He looks so tiny.

372
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,814
- We just got the message.
- Is he all right?

373
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:17,358
Yeah, the doctor got the K out.

374
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,319
He also found an M and an O.

375
00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:25,074
We think he was trying
to spell out "monkey."

376
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:34,875
The doctor says he'll be fine.
He's just sleeping now.

377
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,337
So you feel like a dad yet?

378
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:40,339
No. Why?

379
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:44,343
Hey, come on, you came through.
You did what you had to do.

380
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,053
That is very dad.

381
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:47,763
Oh, look, he's waking up.

382
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,558
ROSS:
Hey, fella. How you doing?

383
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,874
[DUBBED IN SPANISH]

384
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,672
ALL:
Ooh.

385
00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:43,944
[English - US - SDH]