1 00:00:33,022 --> 00:00:35,217 Don't get out of this bathtub! Julie! 2 00:00:35,524 --> 00:00:36,752 Julie! 3 00:00:37,067 --> 00:00:39,979 Julie Christina Ubriacco! 4 00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:44,026 You're dripping suds all over the place. 5 00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:46,881 Come here. Where are you? 6 00:00:47,288 --> 00:00:50,246 I don't want to brush my teeth. I brushed them Saturday. 7 00:00:50,625 --> 00:00:53,139 You'll have plants growing out of your mouth. 8 00:01:05,182 --> 00:01:06,740 Honey? 9 00:01:07,059 --> 00:01:09,015 Are you all right? 10 00:01:14,358 --> 00:01:17,509 This is why we don't run around all wet. 11 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,484 I don't want to go to bed. 12 00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:27,497 - You got to go to bed. - I went to bed last night. 13 00:01:27,914 --> 00:01:30,303 How many times a week do I have to go to bed? 14 00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:34,785 Once upon a time, there was a princess and she moved to Queens. The end. 15 00:01:35,172 --> 00:01:36,764 That's not a story. 16 00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:39,843 It is tonight. Good night. 17 00:01:40,345 --> 00:01:42,779 - Change partners. - Do-si-do. 18 00:01:43,098 --> 00:01:44,736 Daddy, tell me a story. 19 00:01:45,057 --> 00:01:46,968 Two nuns walk into a bar... 20 00:01:47,268 --> 00:01:49,384 - James! - What? 21 00:01:49,729 --> 00:01:50,878 Oh, man. 22 00:01:51,188 --> 00:01:54,021 - Night-light! - Night-light! 23 00:01:55,778 --> 00:01:57,814 Damn! Honey... 24 00:02:00,783 --> 00:02:02,421 ...did you leave that truck there? 25 00:02:02,742 --> 00:02:05,495 - Mikey did it. - Good night, Julie. 26 00:02:06,329 --> 00:02:07,967 Mom, want to play teacups? 27 00:02:08,290 --> 00:02:10,724 No, I don't want to play teacups. Good night. 28 00:02:11,086 --> 00:02:12,041 Good night. 29 00:02:12,295 --> 00:02:14,286 Do I want to play teacups? 30 00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:20,192 Man, am I exhausted! 31 00:02:20,511 --> 00:02:23,423 I know. I feel like I can't move. 32 00:02:24,766 --> 00:02:27,200 Every night we go through the same thing. 33 00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:32,602 What? 34 00:02:32,901 --> 00:02:34,539 What is that look? 35 00:02:34,819 --> 00:02:36,218 Are you kidding? 36 00:02:37,196 --> 00:02:39,505 Honey, no. They're not even asleep yet. 37 00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,417 - They will be. - No, they won't. 38 00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:44,495 They're probably outside the door, playing teacups. 39 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:46,627 Wait. No. Honey... 40 00:02:46,915 --> 00:02:48,746 ...they're probably right outside. 41 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,916 Lock the door. 42 00:02:51,253 --> 00:02:52,891 Oh, Mollie. 43 00:02:53,338 --> 00:02:54,771 Oh, James. 44 00:02:55,048 --> 00:02:58,040 - Oh, Princess. - Oh, Trooper. 45 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,619 It was a lovely evening. 46 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:04,286 Was? I take you to the best dumpster in town... 47 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,993 ...and all I get is a lick on the cheek? 48 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,665 I'm not that kind of spaniel. 49 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,494 Come on. You're the cutest thing on four legs. 50 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,974 I think you're wonderful, but... 51 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,436 ...I can't. 52 00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:18,058 Wait! Princess. 53 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,337 I didn't want to tell you... 54 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:24,095 ...but I'm going to the vet tomorrow. I may not make it. 55 00:03:24,497 --> 00:03:26,453 Oh, Trooper. 56 00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:27,819 Really? 57 00:03:28,084 --> 00:03:29,199 Bingo. 58 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,128 Yes! I am the king! 59 00:04:06,459 --> 00:04:07,687 The king of the kennel! 60 00:04:08,002 --> 00:04:09,435 Losers! Losers! 61 00:04:11,379 --> 00:04:13,574 Who cares? She was a dog anyway. 62 00:04:13,882 --> 00:04:15,600 There's another one! Go for it! 63 00:04:15,928 --> 00:04:17,600 Don't tell the guys. 64 00:04:17,929 --> 00:04:19,647 Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 65 00:04:20,515 --> 00:04:21,743 And another one! 66 00:04:22,058 --> 00:04:23,810 They're all over! 67 00:04:24,103 --> 00:04:25,661 Come to papa! 68 00:04:28,064 --> 00:04:30,658 What will the girls at the hydrant say? 69 00:04:31,025 --> 00:04:32,663 Ma, check it out. 70 00:04:32,988 --> 00:04:36,060 I got these things on my face to open. I can see! 71 00:04:36,408 --> 00:04:37,841 I can see... 72 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,469 ...wrinkly butts! 73 00:04:40,828 --> 00:04:43,501 They're not mine. They're your brothers and sisters. 74 00:04:43,957 --> 00:04:46,517 Good. That makes me the cute one. 75 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:52,512 So how did this happen? 76 00:04:52,842 --> 00:04:54,321 How did this happen? 77 00:04:54,636 --> 00:04:58,185 Look, here come the three kings. It must be a miracle. 78 00:05:00,057 --> 00:05:02,207 - Who were they? - They're my masters. 79 00:05:02,852 --> 00:05:04,365 They're hideous. 80 00:05:04,686 --> 00:05:08,156 They're just big dogs who walk funny. You take care of them. 81 00:05:08,526 --> 00:05:10,642 I don't want any stupid masters. 82 00:05:10,987 --> 00:05:12,545 Someday you will. 83 00:05:13,821 --> 00:05:16,938 I'll never get my figure back. It's Cycle Four for me. 84 00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,302 What are you colouring? 85 00:05:28,547 --> 00:05:30,219 Christmas list. 86 00:05:30,548 --> 00:05:33,620 Christmas list in September? What is that? 87 00:05:34,052 --> 00:05:36,407 A dog? We've been through this. 88 00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:38,913 But, Mom, we need a dog. 89 00:05:39,265 --> 00:05:43,781 Because, those guys who come to sell stuff, he could chew their legs off. 90 00:05:44,230 --> 00:05:45,663 That would be nice, but... 91 00:05:45,981 --> 00:05:48,256 And you could save money. He could babysit. 92 00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:51,183 You know dogs can't babysit. 93 00:05:51,487 --> 00:05:53,921 Dogs are smart. We could teach him stuff. 94 00:05:54,282 --> 00:05:56,796 Yes, we could. Like, how to pick up your room. 95 00:05:57,159 --> 00:05:58,558 - Cool. - Cool. 96 00:05:58,869 --> 00:06:00,825 I'll tell you what I will do. 97 00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:04,317 I promise you that we will buy you a dog. 98 00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:06,461 And I know you'll treat it well. 99 00:06:06,795 --> 00:06:10,390 But we live in this teeny apartment, and it wouldn't be fair to a dog. 100 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,518 What if Santa thinks it is? 101 00:06:13,219 --> 00:06:14,652 Let's talk after school. 102 00:06:14,971 --> 00:06:16,484 You always say that. 103 00:06:16,806 --> 00:06:18,364 You always bug me. 104 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:19,797 Bug, bug, bug. 105 00:06:20,060 --> 00:06:21,778 Go bug your teacher. 106 00:06:22,103 --> 00:06:23,297 Julie! 107 00:06:34,407 --> 00:06:37,763 Snap out of it, honey. Arert you bored with that tape yet? 108 00:06:38,163 --> 00:06:40,597 - It's good. - It's good? With a pass to Julie... 109 00:06:40,956 --> 00:06:44,915 ...up she goes. She scores a hundred million points. 110 00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:50,089 Most girls are obsessed with ponies, not sweaty men making jump shots. 111 00:06:50,507 --> 00:06:52,418 Should we be worried? Mike? 112 00:06:52,761 --> 00:06:56,197 It's the Suns. If it were the Mavericks, I'd be worried. 113 00:06:56,598 --> 00:06:58,077 Let me look at you. 114 00:06:58,392 --> 00:07:00,826 - I don't know about the tie. - What? 115 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,336 Silly. 116 00:07:03,731 --> 00:07:06,245 You haven't seen the whole effect. Look at this. 117 00:07:07,025 --> 00:07:08,378 It does this. 118 00:07:09,779 --> 00:07:12,896 Are you going to wear that on a job interview? 119 00:07:13,283 --> 00:07:15,114 - It's a joke. - I know it's a joke. 120 00:07:15,452 --> 00:07:17,090 - No, you didn't. - Yes, I did. 121 00:07:17,412 --> 00:07:19,403 This is the tie I'm going to wear. 122 00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:21,819 That is a joke. 123 00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:23,805 What? 124 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:28,086 They'll know my wife put me in this suit. It's the colour of poo. 125 00:07:28,465 --> 00:07:30,456 Daddy said, "poo." 126 00:07:31,553 --> 00:07:34,784 Mike, what do you think of this suit? 127 00:07:35,139 --> 00:07:38,051 - You look like my principal. - Even he thinks it's stupid. 128 00:07:38,434 --> 00:07:40,072 He isn't offering a dental plan. 129 00:07:40,353 --> 00:07:42,548 This isn't me. I want to be myself. 130 00:07:42,855 --> 00:07:45,210 You won't get this job if you're yourself. 131 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,590 I didn't mean it to sound that way. 132 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:52,416 A CEO of a corporation is looking for a certain demeanor... 133 00:07:52,784 --> 00:07:53,978 ...in a corporate pilot. 134 00:07:54,285 --> 00:07:56,753 Don't tell them you still drive a cab. 135 00:07:57,121 --> 00:08:00,158 Let me drive. Sit in back and act like you don't know me. 136 00:08:00,541 --> 00:08:03,180 - And don't tell long stories. - I won't talk. 137 00:08:03,503 --> 00:08:05,733 - You can talk, but, James... - What? 138 00:08:06,089 --> 00:08:07,807 - Don't tell jokes. - I'm funny. 139 00:08:08,092 --> 00:08:11,880 - You are funny, in sort of a... - Corny. 140 00:08:12,597 --> 00:08:13,746 Corny kind of funny. 141 00:08:14,181 --> 00:08:15,534 Bash Brothers! 142 00:08:18,185 --> 00:08:19,504 Look out for that pud... 143 00:08:23,108 --> 00:08:24,507 Sorry about the suit. 144 00:08:24,818 --> 00:08:28,015 My son kind of splattered me this morning. 145 00:08:28,405 --> 00:08:31,317 We were doing this kind of "Bash Brothers" thing... 146 00:08:31,699 --> 00:08:34,497 It's not spit-up or anything. It's just... 147 00:08:34,869 --> 00:08:36,382 ...mud. 148 00:08:37,165 --> 00:08:40,794 Frankly, Mr. Ubriacco, your résumé is not very extensive. 149 00:08:41,211 --> 00:08:42,690 I know that. 150 00:08:43,004 --> 00:08:46,121 Yet people who have flown with you insist that I meet you. 151 00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:47,861 Really? 152 00:08:49,177 --> 00:08:50,656 I'd be interested to know why. 153 00:08:50,970 --> 00:08:52,005 May I? 154 00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:59,824 Mr. Martin. I know why he recommended me. 155 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,512 We're on this flight, and they're having a party... 156 00:09:04,902 --> 00:09:07,496 ...and singing that English song: 157 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:12,384 You know, you're English. I get on the microphone and say: 158 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,151 You had to be there. 159 00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:22,428 God, I hope he doesn't blow it. 160 00:09:22,755 --> 00:09:24,950 When he gets nervous, he gets honest. 161 00:09:25,257 --> 00:09:27,896 And that is a major business liability. 162 00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:30,979 - I think he'll be okay. - I think he's freezing up. 163 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:35,264 I've been married to him long enough. I have ESP. He's freezing up. 164 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:39,192 And he said, "That thing's been following me all day!" 165 00:09:44,319 --> 00:09:48,551 I'll make a soufflé. If that doesn't cheer him up, I don't know what will. 166 00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:53,541 It's not like we can't live off my paycheck. We have a hundred times. 167 00:09:53,996 --> 00:09:56,635 Pink! Mine's pink today. That's festive. 168 00:10:08,636 --> 00:10:11,867 Man, I can't believe it. I always wanted to fly a Falcon. 169 00:10:12,266 --> 00:10:16,464 - Honey, how did you find me? - They told me you were down here. 170 00:10:17,146 --> 00:10:20,024 Mollie, this is Samantha D'Bonne, my new boss. 171 00:10:20,398 --> 00:10:22,036 How do you do? 172 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,793 I do just fine, thank you. 173 00:10:24,111 --> 00:10:25,863 Oh, honey... 174 00:10:26,864 --> 00:10:28,058 Congratulations. 175 00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:29,852 This is my son, Mike. 176 00:10:30,119 --> 00:10:33,509 - Hello. - Sometimes he gets stuff on his hands. 177 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,674 - And my daughter, Julie. - Hello, Julie. 178 00:10:37,042 --> 00:10:38,794 Knock, knock. 179 00:10:39,503 --> 00:10:42,381 - Who's there? - Transsexual. 180 00:10:43,423 --> 00:10:45,459 - What's it mean? - It's an airline. 181 00:10:46,136 --> 00:10:47,649 Excuse me. 182 00:10:50,431 --> 00:10:53,548 So you work for Majique. That's a big corporation. 183 00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:55,686 Ms. D'Bonne is the president. 184 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:58,694 You're the president? But you're so young. 185 00:10:59,066 --> 00:11:03,105 - I'm 30. I'm practically past it. - You can read about her in Fortune. 186 00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,485 You're in Fortune? 187 00:11:06,156 --> 00:11:08,192 Actually, it's two pages. 188 00:11:08,492 --> 00:11:10,528 Hey! Mikey! 189 00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:14,077 Wait! You'll end up in Guam. 190 00:11:14,415 --> 00:11:16,929 - Get back here. - I didn't do anything. 191 00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:19,340 Oh, God. Honey. 192 00:11:19,796 --> 00:11:21,548 They're a full-time job. 193 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,600 Did you get off early from work? 194 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:24,999 Yeah, I did. 195 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:28,013 - Was it an office party? - I wouldn't call it a party. 196 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,698 You never get off early. What did you do? VP! She got VP! 197 00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,971 - Did you get VP? - Not exactly. 198 00:11:34,312 --> 00:11:38,749 This is great! What a day! I get a job and you get... Oh, man! 199 00:11:39,692 --> 00:11:42,160 - Let's talk at home. - Give me the good news. 200 00:11:42,487 --> 00:11:44,398 I was fired! 201 00:11:47,659 --> 00:11:49,297 Oh, honey. 202 00:11:51,038 --> 00:11:54,872 - What happened? - I think it's because of the cutbacks. 203 00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:58,408 I asked if it was my work and they said no, it was great. 204 00:11:58,796 --> 00:12:01,754 They said I was the best, which is why I was most expensive. 205 00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:06,524 I said, "What if I'd been better? What would you have done? Shoot me?" 206 00:12:06,972 --> 00:12:09,406 You're better than that company. 207 00:12:09,766 --> 00:12:13,236 Nine years and they give me a cactus. 208 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:14,873 A cactus, honey. 209 00:12:15,189 --> 00:12:18,022 Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing. 210 00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:21,018 - Really? - I'm terribly sorry. 211 00:12:21,362 --> 00:12:23,080 Don't be. This is nothing. 212 00:12:23,364 --> 00:12:26,754 Financially, you don't need to worry about a thing. You see... 213 00:12:27,159 --> 00:12:29,354 ...l'm negotiating a merger with Maxim Conti. 214 00:12:29,703 --> 00:12:31,853 Next month alone, we'll be flying to Rome... 215 00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:34,119 ...Paris, New Zealand... 216 00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:37,020 I'll just keep him as busy as I can. 217 00:12:37,838 --> 00:12:40,352 That makes me feel a lot better. 218 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:43,071 I'm sure you'll find something. 219 00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:46,570 Oh, honey. 220 00:12:46,889 --> 00:12:48,720 It'll be okay. 221 00:12:49,016 --> 00:12:50,734 - Knock, knock. - Nobody's home. 222 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,335 - Knock, knock. - Nobody's home! 223 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,604 - Knock, knock. - All right, who is it? 224 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,336 - Buck. - Buck who? 225 00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,607 Buck, buck, I'm a chicken! 226 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,856 Mom, can I kill her? 227 00:13:02,197 --> 00:13:03,550 Not before dinner. 228 00:13:03,823 --> 00:13:05,256 Knock, knock. 229 00:13:05,575 --> 00:13:08,692 Don't torture your mother, honey. 230 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,100 He's cute. 231 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:22,007 What's going on? Where are they taking everybody? 232 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,005 I'm scared! I'm going to pee. 233 00:13:25,348 --> 00:13:26,940 Put him back. That's my brother. 234 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,830 He's so fuzzy. 235 00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:31,904 Is that kibble on your hat? 236 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,781 I like you. 237 00:13:36,025 --> 00:13:38,983 - Mommy, I want this one. - All right. 238 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,670 Got any treats? I'm into treats. 239 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,961 It's just me, huh? 240 00:13:48,622 --> 00:13:50,453 So nobody wants me? 241 00:13:50,791 --> 00:13:52,543 What's wrong with me? 242 00:13:52,918 --> 00:13:55,671 Okay, I drool more than some of the other guys. 243 00:13:56,045 --> 00:13:58,843 And I whine a little bit, sure. Who doesn't? 244 00:14:01,052 --> 00:14:02,963 You smell good. Like cookies. 245 00:14:05,014 --> 00:14:08,324 And dirt. Can I go with you? I like you. Please? 246 00:14:08,977 --> 00:14:10,410 Mikey? 247 00:14:10,729 --> 00:14:12,799 - Kid, take me. - Michael, get over here. 248 00:14:13,148 --> 00:14:15,708 Please? I'll eat shoelaces and vegetables. 249 00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,659 I'll even eat dog food. 250 00:14:17,988 --> 00:14:19,307 Kid! Don't go away! 251 00:14:19,613 --> 00:14:22,081 Where are you going? Where did you go? 252 00:14:23,241 --> 00:14:24,879 Bad smell. 253 00:14:25,161 --> 00:14:28,551 You don't look like dog people. You look like snake people. 254 00:14:29,332 --> 00:14:32,130 Not the neck! I hate that. 255 00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:33,859 He's kind of scrawny. 256 00:14:34,129 --> 00:14:36,120 I've coughed hairballs better-looking than you. 257 00:14:36,423 --> 00:14:37,822 Take him, don't take him. 258 00:14:38,091 --> 00:14:39,888 - Make up your mind. - I'll take him. 259 00:14:40,219 --> 00:14:42,972 Don't let happen to him what happened to the gerbils. 260 00:14:43,347 --> 00:14:45,815 Why don't I have a good feeling about this? 261 00:14:49,103 --> 00:14:50,456 So here they are. 262 00:14:50,770 --> 00:14:53,000 My new masters. 263 00:14:54,025 --> 00:14:55,344 Not! 264 00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:58,138 Swallowed a bug! 265 00:15:00,449 --> 00:15:02,405 Tuck and roll. Tuck and roll. 266 00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:08,844 Big room. Wonder where the walls are. 267 00:15:09,165 --> 00:15:11,679 Who needs masters? I can take care of myself. 268 00:15:14,296 --> 00:15:15,809 What kind of dog was that? 269 00:15:17,592 --> 00:15:19,310 Maybe I do need a master. 270 00:15:21,763 --> 00:15:25,119 How would you like to adopt a cute little pup? 271 00:15:25,474 --> 00:15:26,623 Same to you, pal. 272 00:15:26,935 --> 00:15:30,291 He was too skinny. Probably didn't have any good treats. 273 00:15:30,647 --> 00:15:33,286 Now if I was food, where would I be? 274 00:15:33,651 --> 00:15:36,609 In my stomach, because I would have eaten me already. 275 00:15:36,988 --> 00:15:38,899 Fatter people. This is good. 276 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:42,197 There's gotta be treats around fat people. 277 00:15:42,534 --> 00:15:44,684 Doggie dish at 12:00. I'm coming in. 278 00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:46,679 What's this, metal food? 279 00:15:46,998 --> 00:15:49,558 Hey there, little fella. 280 00:15:49,918 --> 00:15:53,035 - You hungry? - Are you kidding? I just ate a nickel. 281 00:15:54,048 --> 00:15:55,606 What a guy. What do you got? 282 00:15:55,883 --> 00:15:58,317 Food? You going for food? 283 00:15:58,676 --> 00:16:00,029 Let me see what's in there. 284 00:16:00,345 --> 00:16:02,939 Get your hand away. I'll do it. I got it. 285 00:16:12,525 --> 00:16:15,756 I would like a Ferrari Testa Rossa... 286 00:16:16,112 --> 00:16:20,151 ...Alien Autopsy, a Super-Squirt Phlegm Gun with laser sight... 287 00:16:20,576 --> 00:16:22,692 ...a helicopter... 288 00:16:22,996 --> 00:16:24,190 ...a space suit... 289 00:16:24,497 --> 00:16:27,216 That goob's been up there for an hour. Get him off. 290 00:16:27,792 --> 00:16:30,909 I told you, Santa doesn't want you to be a naughty girl. 291 00:16:31,296 --> 00:16:32,729 Who are you, his mother? 292 00:16:33,297 --> 00:16:35,936 No, I'm a Vulcan. 293 00:16:36,259 --> 00:16:39,490 - How would you like a death grip? - Yeah, right. 294 00:16:40,097 --> 00:16:42,327 - A million dollars, a toy store... 295 00:16:42,682 --> 00:16:45,355 - Mom! - Mommy! 296 00:16:46,854 --> 00:16:50,972 See? I told you Mommy had a big, important job with Santa. 297 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,756 - Hey, no cuts! - A spot. Tricked you. 298 00:17:03,747 --> 00:17:06,466 Hello there, everyone! 299 00:17:09,127 --> 00:17:12,881 Merry Christmas, everyone! 300 00:17:21,266 --> 00:17:23,177 - You look hot. - Yeah. 301 00:17:23,727 --> 00:17:26,480 - How's it going? - It's going bad. I hate children. 302 00:17:26,855 --> 00:17:28,652 I used to love them. Now I hate them. 303 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:31,894 This music is driving me nuts. I want to hurt Bing Crosby. 304 00:17:32,276 --> 00:17:33,868 Something will come for you. 305 00:17:34,196 --> 00:17:37,711 - 40 interviews and no one's hired me. - Then it can only get better. 306 00:17:38,075 --> 00:17:40,987 - Maybe next year I can be a reindeer. - Look at the perks. 307 00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:43,205 Hey, guys. 308 00:17:43,498 --> 00:17:46,934 What are you standing there for? Mom's personal best friend, Santa... 309 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,370 ...is ready to see you. Come on. 310 00:17:49,712 --> 00:17:51,304 There you go. 311 00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:53,431 There we go. 312 00:17:56,011 --> 00:17:57,649 Merry Christmas. 313 00:17:58,347 --> 00:18:02,135 - Well, how are you today... - Mikey. 314 00:18:02,893 --> 00:18:05,168 ...Mikey? - You know me? 315 00:18:06,397 --> 00:18:09,673 What would you like Santa to bring you this Christmas? 316 00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:14,420 - I want a dog. - A dog? Well, that seems... 317 00:18:14,782 --> 00:18:15,931 No. 318 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,236 You see, Mikey... 319 00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:21,368 ...even Santa doesn't control some things. 320 00:18:21,955 --> 00:18:25,789 Now somewhere out there is the absolute perfect dog for you. 321 00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:27,723 Maybe he's already been born. 322 00:18:28,212 --> 00:18:30,362 Maybe he hasn't. But when he is... 323 00:18:30,715 --> 00:18:32,671 ...believe me, I'll know... 324 00:18:33,009 --> 00:18:34,203 ...and you'll get him! 325 00:18:34,594 --> 00:18:37,631 - So I'll get him for Christmas? - I'll do my best. 326 00:18:38,014 --> 00:18:41,131 - Thanks, Santa. - You're welcome, Mikey. 327 00:18:43,854 --> 00:18:45,685 Here's Santa. 328 00:18:47,191 --> 00:18:49,500 Hello, honey. 329 00:18:51,319 --> 00:18:53,275 Mommy! 330 00:19:00,037 --> 00:19:03,074 Santa is not mad at you. Now listen to Teddy. 331 00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:05,767 - Is Santa mad at Julie? - No. 332 00:19:06,086 --> 00:19:08,725 - Will Julie still get presents? - Yes. 333 00:19:09,088 --> 00:19:10,760 Give me kisses. 334 00:19:13,469 --> 00:19:17,382 Come on, Julie. Cheer up. How about a pre-Christmas present? 335 00:19:34,866 --> 00:19:38,859 I have to get these shoes off. My toes are curling. 336 00:19:39,956 --> 00:19:42,265 Good night, Prancer. Good night, Dancer. 337 00:19:48,506 --> 00:19:50,622 What's the matter with you? 338 00:19:50,926 --> 00:19:52,917 You don't know how to write? 339 00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:56,703 Yeah? You gonna send some monkey around to bust my knees? 340 00:19:58,391 --> 00:20:00,222 Hey, all right. 341 00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:03,439 I'll come up with a couple of bills for you. 342 00:20:03,814 --> 00:20:05,486 I was just kidding, okay? 343 00:20:05,816 --> 00:20:08,489 Yeah, and a merry to you too. 344 00:20:09,779 --> 00:20:12,088 You miserable sack of... 345 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,071 You're a fake! 346 00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:20,203 - How could you let him see that? - You were watching him. 347 00:20:20,581 --> 00:20:21,730 I was calming Julie. 348 00:20:22,043 --> 00:20:24,841 - What did Mikey see? - Nothing, honey. 349 00:20:25,212 --> 00:20:27,328 - You said he was real. - I know, you see... 350 00:20:27,630 --> 00:20:30,064 The real Santa's busy, so he sends these... 351 00:20:30,383 --> 00:20:34,012 - Cousins. - That was Santa's cousin, Sidney Claus. 352 00:20:34,431 --> 00:20:36,547 He's Jewish. He's his Jewish cousin. 353 00:20:36,891 --> 00:20:39,530 But you said he was real. 354 00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,723 All right, you chipmunks, ready to sing your song? 355 00:21:00,082 --> 00:21:02,152 - I'll say we are. - Let's sing it now. 356 00:21:02,501 --> 00:21:04,093 - Okay, Simon? - Okay. 357 00:21:04,419 --> 00:21:06,216 - Okay, Theodore? - Okay. 358 00:21:06,548 --> 00:21:08,345 Okay, Alvin? 359 00:21:09,009 --> 00:21:10,328 Alvin? 360 00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:12,926 - Alvin! - Okay! 361 00:21:52,763 --> 00:21:54,640 Oh, Mikey, Mikey. 362 00:21:54,974 --> 00:21:57,807 What do you want? You want a pizza pie? 363 00:21:58,228 --> 00:22:00,503 Great. The Cornball Family. 364 00:22:01,232 --> 00:22:03,268 It didn't work. 365 00:22:09,072 --> 00:22:11,427 Honey, you used to love that song. 366 00:22:11,784 --> 00:22:13,854 What can we do to make you feel better? 367 00:22:14,453 --> 00:22:16,523 Just tell me the truth. 368 00:22:16,874 --> 00:22:18,785 There is no Santa, is there? 369 00:22:21,711 --> 00:22:23,827 Yes. There is, honey. 370 00:22:24,173 --> 00:22:25,606 But you know what it's like? 371 00:22:25,883 --> 00:22:29,876 I'll tell you. You know how in Cub Scouts you have den mothers? 372 00:22:30,262 --> 00:22:31,251 Well, Santa has... 373 00:22:31,555 --> 00:22:33,113 ...den Santas. 374 00:22:33,433 --> 00:22:36,425 Mike, you want to know the truth, right? 375 00:22:36,811 --> 00:22:39,325 You don't want us to lie to you... 376 00:22:39,688 --> 00:22:41,440 ...and this is the truth. 377 00:22:42,859 --> 00:22:44,850 You know the whole thing about... 378 00:22:45,194 --> 00:22:46,912 ...the North Pole? 379 00:22:47,238 --> 00:22:48,591 It's just a story. 380 00:22:49,198 --> 00:22:50,756 It's just a story. 381 00:22:51,075 --> 00:22:52,428 Santa is... 382 00:22:52,744 --> 00:22:54,177 Santa is really... 383 00:22:54,496 --> 00:22:55,690 ...from Finland. 384 00:22:56,790 --> 00:22:57,825 Finland. 385 00:22:59,377 --> 00:23:00,571 Give me a break. 386 00:23:00,836 --> 00:23:02,508 - No. He is. - How could he... 387 00:23:02,797 --> 00:23:04,708 ...get around the world in a night? 388 00:23:05,049 --> 00:23:06,607 - Finland Airlines. - Correct. 389 00:23:06,926 --> 00:23:08,962 And how could reindeer fly? 390 00:23:09,261 --> 00:23:10,376 Freight. 391 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,593 And how come Rudolph's nose glows? What is he, radioactive? 392 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:18,310 Well, how come your grandfather's nose glows? 393 00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:22,087 I have the answer to this question. 394 00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,540 Some things in life are magic. 395 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,975 Santa is magic. 396 00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:31,937 Magic's for babies. 397 00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:38,305 Honey, nice try. 398 00:24:19,546 --> 00:24:20,740 Can I play? 399 00:24:21,048 --> 00:24:24,120 - With me? - Let's get busy. 400 00:25:07,096 --> 00:25:08,529 New York Centre. 401 00:25:08,848 --> 00:25:12,921 New York Centre, Fox Juliet, flight level 4-1-0. Roger. 402 00:25:13,353 --> 00:25:15,344 - Knock, knock. - Hi. 403 00:25:22,362 --> 00:25:23,715 How's the meeting? 404 00:25:24,448 --> 00:25:27,406 We're all posturing, making threats. Business as usual. 405 00:25:27,785 --> 00:25:29,582 Zero-5-8. Roger. 406 00:25:29,913 --> 00:25:32,302 We'll have to work through this weekend. 407 00:25:32,666 --> 00:25:34,941 Do you mind staying in Boston a couple of days? 408 00:25:35,334 --> 00:25:36,449 No. 409 00:25:36,754 --> 00:25:37,948 I'll buy you dinner. 410 00:25:38,255 --> 00:25:40,405 You don't have to. It's my job. 411 00:25:40,757 --> 00:25:42,668 So you'll keep me feeling guilty. 412 00:25:42,968 --> 00:25:46,278 Okay, but nothing fancy. Just a paper napkin place. 413 00:25:47,389 --> 00:25:50,267 Okay. Just don't sound too thrilled about it, will you? 414 00:25:52,519 --> 00:25:54,350 It's not that. 415 00:25:56,691 --> 00:25:58,602 I was just thinking about Mikey. 416 00:25:58,944 --> 00:26:00,536 - He's upset and... - Why? 417 00:26:02,364 --> 00:26:04,275 Mollie's gonna hate me for this... 418 00:26:04,616 --> 00:26:07,335 ...but I think we're looking at the D word. 419 00:26:07,703 --> 00:26:08,738 Divorce? 420 00:26:10,915 --> 00:26:12,314 No. 421 00:26:12,625 --> 00:26:13,978 Dog. 422 00:26:17,755 --> 00:26:19,905 Watch it, pussy. I'm walking here. 423 00:26:20,258 --> 00:26:22,726 Cats. Can't live with them, can't eat them. 424 00:26:23,093 --> 00:26:24,731 They're ruining this city. 425 00:26:25,055 --> 00:26:29,333 Look at those. Extra crunchy. Wrap them up, I'll take them to go. 426 00:26:29,768 --> 00:26:32,885 Step on me, lady, you get a nose in the crotch. 427 00:26:35,066 --> 00:26:36,215 Hey, pal. 428 00:26:36,734 --> 00:26:38,645 This was sitting on a park bench. 429 00:26:38,986 --> 00:26:41,261 Next to some guy who was eating it. 430 00:26:41,614 --> 00:26:45,084 Catch you later. I got a date with a cute Pekingese on Park Avenue. 431 00:26:45,619 --> 00:26:48,577 Face like a Mack truck, but what a body. 432 00:26:48,956 --> 00:26:51,470 What can I say? I'm a hound. 433 00:26:51,790 --> 00:26:54,543 Gotcha. Come on now, boy. No trouble. 434 00:26:54,877 --> 00:26:57,630 Okay, I didn't mean to steal that Frisbee. 435 00:26:58,006 --> 00:27:00,884 I thought two calzones were mating! 436 00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:02,454 Lousy dog cop! 437 00:27:05,349 --> 00:27:09,547 Hey, liver. Jeez, I could get used to this. 438 00:27:10,102 --> 00:27:12,377 You got liver? Hey, fellas! 439 00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:14,130 Spot here got liver. 440 00:27:14,524 --> 00:27:16,515 - He got liver? - That's a shame. 441 00:27:16,818 --> 00:27:19,207 Already? That's a crock. 442 00:27:19,529 --> 00:27:22,327 - What's wrong with liver? - That's your last meal, amigo. 443 00:27:22,701 --> 00:27:24,054 Then it's a big nap. 444 00:27:24,368 --> 00:27:25,596 What did I do? 445 00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:27,424 What did any of us do? 446 00:27:27,745 --> 00:27:28,780 I bit a cop. 447 00:27:29,082 --> 00:27:30,879 I got to talk to someone. 448 00:27:31,459 --> 00:27:33,495 Too late. Here comes Dave. 449 00:27:43,596 --> 00:27:46,156 Come on. Can't we work out some kind of deal? 450 00:27:46,517 --> 00:27:48,826 I got bones buried everywhere. I'll share them! 451 00:27:49,144 --> 00:27:52,739 - Hey, Dave. You big dumb clod! - Hey, ugly! 452 00:27:53,107 --> 00:27:55,018 You can't even pee right. 453 00:27:55,361 --> 00:27:57,192 Can I take a dump in your hat? 454 00:27:58,822 --> 00:28:01,131 Sorry, fella. It's time to go. 455 00:28:01,448 --> 00:28:03,245 Don't let him see your fear. 456 00:28:03,576 --> 00:28:05,806 Don't give him the satisfaction. 457 00:28:06,163 --> 00:28:08,438 - Kill Dave! - Kill Dave! 458 00:28:14,671 --> 00:28:17,424 - What are we doing? - We're going underwear shopping. 459 00:28:17,799 --> 00:28:19,630 - I don't like underwear. - You love it. 460 00:28:19,969 --> 00:28:22,005 - I hate them. - You love them. 461 00:28:23,223 --> 00:28:25,054 Look alive, guys! We got masters! 462 00:28:28,227 --> 00:28:29,740 Go ahead. 463 00:28:33,901 --> 00:28:36,176 I'm neutered. I've humped my last leg. 464 00:28:36,528 --> 00:28:39,088 I will follow orders! 465 00:28:39,407 --> 00:28:43,639 Yo, I can help you meet chicks. I got this Lassie thing down. 466 00:28:44,077 --> 00:28:46,193 You can call me Spot or Measles. 467 00:28:47,081 --> 00:28:48,719 Hey, kid! 468 00:28:49,668 --> 00:28:51,977 I do everything. Tricks! Roll over! 469 00:28:52,587 --> 00:28:53,781 What about this guy? 470 00:28:54,088 --> 00:28:56,044 Not a boy. I hate boys. 471 00:28:56,384 --> 00:28:58,022 He looks pretty cool. 472 00:28:58,343 --> 00:29:01,574 - He looks like a hot dog with ears. - I resent that! 473 00:29:03,389 --> 00:29:06,187 Here's the thing. I got puppies out there. 474 00:29:06,519 --> 00:29:08,749 Maybe. I don't know. I've been around. 475 00:29:09,105 --> 00:29:11,619 You know how it is. Give me a break. 476 00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:14,178 I promise I'll go straight. 477 00:29:14,527 --> 00:29:17,837 I'll even help out some blind guy with a pencil cup. 478 00:29:18,655 --> 00:29:21,408 I know that smell. Cookies and dirt. 479 00:29:22,786 --> 00:29:24,777 - That's my kid! - I said, let's move it. 480 00:29:25,081 --> 00:29:26,196 Move on this. 481 00:29:27,625 --> 00:29:30,059 Kid! You know me, don't you? 482 00:29:30,419 --> 00:29:31,977 Get me out of here! 483 00:29:33,463 --> 00:29:35,021 Him, Daddy. I want him. 484 00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:37,490 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 485 00:29:40,347 --> 00:29:42,303 You want him? 486 00:29:43,225 --> 00:29:44,260 Here you go. 487 00:29:44,518 --> 00:29:48,511 - We'll take him. - This one's scheduled to be destroyed. 488 00:29:48,939 --> 00:29:51,737 What? No way. Take me, I'm yours! 489 00:29:53,694 --> 00:29:55,685 - Well, he's been reprieved. - Yes! 490 00:29:57,406 --> 00:29:59,601 Okay, here we go. 491 00:30:01,995 --> 00:30:03,986 - What are you gonna name him? - Rocks. 492 00:30:04,330 --> 00:30:06,127 Rocks? How come Rocks? 493 00:30:06,457 --> 00:30:08,812 Because that's what he left in the back seat. 494 00:30:09,169 --> 00:30:11,000 Sorry about that. 495 00:30:11,337 --> 00:30:12,975 Oh, man! 496 00:30:14,383 --> 00:30:16,453 Here we are. This is where we live. 497 00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:19,142 Warm. Dry. No puddles. 498 00:30:19,430 --> 00:30:23,309 Wait a minute. Nice cushy thing to sleep on. A little lumpy. 499 00:30:23,684 --> 00:30:25,481 Maybe I'll just dig out the middle. 500 00:30:25,937 --> 00:30:27,575 Honey, is that you? 501 00:30:34,697 --> 00:30:35,891 Hello, James. 502 00:30:36,448 --> 00:30:38,200 What's going on? 503 00:30:38,533 --> 00:30:41,525 Samantha has brought us a big surprise. 504 00:30:41,912 --> 00:30:43,664 Really for Mikey and Julie. 505 00:30:47,626 --> 00:30:49,662 What a tiny kennel. 506 00:30:49,962 --> 00:30:52,032 I've seen enough. Bring the car around. 507 00:30:53,675 --> 00:30:54,744 Her name is Daphne. 508 00:30:55,051 --> 00:30:58,600 She's purebred and trained at the Radcliffe of obedience schools. 509 00:30:59,515 --> 00:31:01,551 Radcliffe, wow. 510 00:31:02,476 --> 00:31:03,795 Daphne, sit. 511 00:31:04,644 --> 00:31:05,679 Voilà. 512 00:31:06,105 --> 00:31:09,177 - Aerobics. - But where's my personal trainer? 513 00:31:13,612 --> 00:31:15,330 Isn't she a wonderful dog? 514 00:31:15,866 --> 00:31:18,255 I'll have my manicure now, please. 515 00:31:18,618 --> 00:31:20,734 - But I like Rocks bet... - A dog! 516 00:31:21,078 --> 00:31:22,591 A dog! 517 00:31:22,872 --> 00:31:24,908 Mikey, wow. Finally, a dog. 518 00:31:25,291 --> 00:31:27,327 Play with your rocks later. 519 00:31:28,003 --> 00:31:30,039 But as I was just saying to Samantha... 520 00:31:30,380 --> 00:31:34,419 ...we wouldn't dream of taking her precious baby away from her. 521 00:31:34,844 --> 00:31:36,994 And as I was telling Mollie... 522 00:31:37,347 --> 00:31:39,542 ...we're travelling so much... 523 00:31:39,889 --> 00:31:43,086 ...she doesn't get enough attention. - I think it's a great idea. 524 00:31:43,561 --> 00:31:45,153 Good. 525 00:31:47,398 --> 00:31:49,468 Radcliffe, honey. Radcliffe. 526 00:31:52,613 --> 00:31:54,763 Bye-bye, sweetheart. 527 00:31:55,116 --> 00:31:57,949 Bye-bye? You can't leave me with these people. 528 00:31:58,326 --> 00:32:02,160 They haven't been properly trained, or groomed, or... 529 00:32:02,582 --> 00:32:04,538 I'm getting a migraine. 530 00:32:05,043 --> 00:32:06,635 Goodbye, Mollie. 531 00:32:07,630 --> 00:32:09,780 I'll be sending over her things. 532 00:32:10,132 --> 00:32:12,441 - See you later, James. - Thank you. Bye-bye. 533 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,075 Things? A dog has things? 534 00:32:15,427 --> 00:32:16,655 She's just being nice. 535 00:32:16,930 --> 00:32:19,842 The nerve! Coming in and treating us like a kennel. 536 00:32:20,226 --> 00:32:23,855 She dumps this dog on this family without even consulting me? 537 00:32:25,148 --> 00:32:26,501 Look what we got, Mom. 538 00:32:26,816 --> 00:32:29,330 His name's Rocks. 539 00:32:30,902 --> 00:32:34,258 Den. Don't even think about loving on me, pal. 540 00:32:37,119 --> 00:32:38,677 We already talked about this. 541 00:32:38,996 --> 00:32:42,830 Yes, we talked but we didn't decide. Now we have two dogs. 542 00:32:43,251 --> 00:32:45,367 If I take Rocks back, he'll be put to sleep. 543 00:32:45,710 --> 00:32:47,063 Take... What's her name? 544 00:32:47,379 --> 00:32:49,847 - Daphne. - Take Daphne back to Princess Di. 545 00:32:50,215 --> 00:32:54,493 I can't insult Samantha. This is the best job I've ever had. 546 00:32:54,930 --> 00:32:58,809 This is your responsibility. You brought these dogs here, you fix it. 547 00:32:59,226 --> 00:33:01,456 Or I will fix you. 548 00:33:04,064 --> 00:33:05,053 All right. 549 00:33:05,356 --> 00:33:07,551 This is my chair, this is my cup... 550 00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:10,573 ...and this is my stinky brother, Mikey. 551 00:33:11,030 --> 00:33:12,429 Schwing! 552 00:33:13,032 --> 00:33:14,670 Hello, baby! 553 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:18,588 Oh, my! What a set of paws. 554 00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:21,753 Powder Puff, how about we nose through the garbage? 555 00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:25,473 - What cat dragged you in? - The kid sprung me from the joint. 556 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,476 I don't associate with mutts. I've got papers. 557 00:33:28,966 --> 00:33:32,242 I been hit by those. Hurts like hell, huh, Daffy? 558 00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:35,233 It's Daphne, you tick magnet. 559 00:33:35,556 --> 00:33:37,592 Jeez! Like you never sniffed a butt. 560 00:33:37,892 --> 00:33:40,167 Why don't we keep them both for now. 561 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,272 The one that works out, stays. 562 00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:45,357 The one that doesn't, we find another home for. 563 00:33:45,733 --> 00:33:49,203 - I don't know about that. - Come on. Look how happy they are. 564 00:33:49,613 --> 00:33:52,446 Wasrt there ever anything you really wanted? 565 00:33:56,912 --> 00:33:58,231 I'll never have breasts! 566 00:33:58,497 --> 00:34:00,169 Oh, honey. 567 00:34:02,752 --> 00:34:06,665 Okay. But the one that we choose not to keep goes. 568 00:34:07,089 --> 00:34:08,078 - Goes. - Goes. 569 00:34:08,341 --> 00:34:09,899 - Goes. - Swear. 570 00:34:11,052 --> 00:34:14,044 Don't. I don't want you to love me yet. Not yet! 571 00:34:14,806 --> 00:34:17,559 I'm telling you. You're not in the clear, buddy. 572 00:34:18,353 --> 00:34:20,423 Look! They like each other. 573 00:34:20,771 --> 00:34:22,807 - Mongrel. - Bitch. 574 00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:25,537 Look, honey, they like each other. 575 00:34:55,641 --> 00:34:57,677 I don't need a bath. I just lick down there. 576 00:34:58,018 --> 00:35:00,578 Trust me. I smell worse wet than I do dry. 577 00:35:00,939 --> 00:35:04,773 - Cut it out! I'm warning you. - Quick, Mike, grab his tail. 578 00:35:09,155 --> 00:35:11,111 What, no bubbles? 579 00:35:11,450 --> 00:35:13,918 And I see there's no slice of lemon. 580 00:35:14,286 --> 00:35:16,163 - Drink it. - Take it away! 581 00:35:16,455 --> 00:35:20,607 I don't know why they put my dish up so high, but they serve good food. 582 00:35:21,044 --> 00:35:23,000 Look at this cut of meat. 583 00:35:23,881 --> 00:35:26,793 Here we go. Gonna play "chase the meat" again. 584 00:35:27,133 --> 00:35:29,567 Eating and running are my two favourite things. 585 00:35:29,927 --> 00:35:33,636 I'm gonna eat this meat and save you the fat, big boy. 586 00:35:34,056 --> 00:35:36,126 Bad dog! Stop! 587 00:35:36,895 --> 00:35:39,728 I'm frizzing. Brush while you blow, please. 588 00:35:40,064 --> 00:35:43,261 Look at your hair. I can't believe I trust you with mine. 589 00:35:45,945 --> 00:35:47,901 What's this guy doing here? 590 00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:51,675 Gonna get some treats from the cabinet? Get some for me too. 591 00:35:52,536 --> 00:35:54,254 Hit the clicker! 592 00:35:54,539 --> 00:35:57,258 - Daphne, sit. - Oh, no, it's way back like this. 593 00:35:57,583 --> 00:35:58,572 Daphne, beg up. 594 00:35:58,833 --> 00:36:00,664 - Start with one hand. - Two hands. 595 00:36:01,003 --> 00:36:02,072 If you insist. 596 00:36:02,337 --> 00:36:04,407 Rocks, roll over. 597 00:36:05,967 --> 00:36:08,117 Roll over, like this. 598 00:36:11,808 --> 00:36:13,764 You guys are total entertainment. 599 00:36:14,059 --> 00:36:16,448 It's better than chasing hubcaps. Do it again. 600 00:36:16,769 --> 00:36:18,088 - Julie, paw. - Daphne, paw. 601 00:36:18,396 --> 00:36:19,624 - Good girl. - Good girl. 602 00:36:19,898 --> 00:36:22,332 You're getting so much better. 603 00:36:23,027 --> 00:36:25,177 - No! - What? 604 00:36:25,487 --> 00:36:26,966 No! 605 00:36:27,281 --> 00:36:28,350 What? 606 00:36:29,743 --> 00:36:32,018 - No! - What? 607 00:36:37,291 --> 00:36:39,327 Get that skinny man out my spaghetti. 608 00:36:39,670 --> 00:36:42,343 - Someone's playing with their food. - No, no! 609 00:36:42,714 --> 00:36:45,626 Kid, shoot one of them round, meaty things my way. 610 00:36:45,967 --> 00:36:47,400 Begging is so gauche. 611 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:49,756 Come on, come through for me, will you? 612 00:36:50,097 --> 00:36:52,816 Come on, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 613 00:36:53,142 --> 00:36:54,621 Yes, he scores! 614 00:36:55,145 --> 00:36:57,022 Hey! He threw a meatball! 615 00:36:57,313 --> 00:36:59,144 - Squealer. - Spaghetti face! 616 00:37:02,484 --> 00:37:05,442 What is that? Ice cream headache! Pain! Pain! 617 00:37:05,781 --> 00:37:07,373 Sorry, guys. 618 00:37:10,119 --> 00:37:11,552 Chicago. 619 00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:18,203 You kids behave yourselves. 620 00:37:19,962 --> 00:37:21,077 My poor nerves. 621 00:37:21,465 --> 00:37:25,378 - Little high-strung, aren't we, Daffy? - I'm just sensitive. 622 00:37:25,885 --> 00:37:28,115 You've got that skeevy inbred look. 623 00:37:28,471 --> 00:37:30,826 Mom knew her cousin a little too well, huh? 624 00:37:31,183 --> 00:37:33,378 Better than your mother knew your father. 625 00:37:33,685 --> 00:37:34,959 Put a sock in it. 626 00:37:35,270 --> 00:37:37,784 I hope you won't be gone very long. 627 00:37:42,278 --> 00:37:46,430 Hey, time for my walk, remember? I'm getting kind of squirmy here. 628 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,948 Okay, you guys are busy. I'll go right here, no problem. 629 00:37:55,499 --> 00:37:57,330 - No! - What is he doing? 630 00:38:00,297 --> 00:38:01,286 Bad dog. 631 00:38:01,549 --> 00:38:03,460 Right hand, green. 632 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,117 Unbelievably, incredibly, endlessly bad dog! 633 00:38:09,514 --> 00:38:12,506 I just marked that spot. I'll do it again tomorrow. 634 00:38:34,710 --> 00:38:36,268 - Hello? - Hi, honey. 635 00:38:36,585 --> 00:38:39,224 - How are you? - This has been a week of hell. 636 00:38:39,590 --> 00:38:41,945 - Is it Daphne? - No, it's not Daphne. 637 00:38:42,300 --> 00:38:44,973 It's that other moron, Rocks. He pees all over... 638 00:38:45,345 --> 00:38:49,782 - He'll grow out of that. - All right, he also is a shoe gourmet. 639 00:38:50,185 --> 00:38:52,938 He only eats Charles Jourdan, never my tennis shoes. 640 00:39:06,951 --> 00:39:08,430 Daddy. 641 00:39:11,414 --> 00:39:15,726 I'm sorry. I wish I could be there. I feel like I can train him. 642 00:39:16,170 --> 00:39:18,968 Doctor Dolittle couldn't train this dog. 643 00:39:19,339 --> 00:39:23,252 So, what do you think, hon? We should find him a new home? 644 00:39:25,346 --> 00:39:28,463 - Oh, man! You win again! - But of course. 645 00:39:29,976 --> 00:39:32,126 No. I'll give him one more chance. 646 00:39:32,437 --> 00:39:35,713 Great. If he chews anything else... 647 00:39:36,066 --> 00:39:38,500 ...he's gone. Okay? - Okay. 648 00:39:41,113 --> 00:39:43,707 I miss you. I'm excited about seeing you tonight. 649 00:39:44,033 --> 00:39:45,352 That's why I'm calling. 650 00:39:45,618 --> 00:39:47,529 We're going to France tonight. 651 00:39:48,078 --> 00:39:50,638 France? James... 652 00:39:50,999 --> 00:39:53,672 ...you've already been gone for two whole weeks. 653 00:39:54,002 --> 00:39:55,833 I've gotta go board now. 654 00:39:56,212 --> 00:39:58,362 All right. I'll tell the kids. 655 00:40:00,341 --> 00:40:01,933 Come say bye to Daddy. 656 00:40:06,181 --> 00:40:08,411 Honey! What were you doing? 657 00:40:08,768 --> 00:40:09,757 Flying. 658 00:40:10,020 --> 00:40:12,329 Flying? Honey, you can't fly. 659 00:40:12,687 --> 00:40:15,042 But those people can. 660 00:40:16,150 --> 00:40:21,019 That is make-believe, honey. Remember when we talked about make-believe? 661 00:40:21,490 --> 00:40:25,039 The basketball man isn't make-believe and they can fly. 662 00:40:25,411 --> 00:40:28,050 Do you like them because you think they can fly? 663 00:40:29,539 --> 00:40:32,611 They can't fly, either. But they can jump really high. 664 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,279 Daddy flies. 665 00:40:34,545 --> 00:40:38,333 He does fly. But, honey, he flies in an aeroplane. 666 00:40:38,717 --> 00:40:41,311 Daddy doesn't fly... Daddy. 667 00:40:43,263 --> 00:40:44,491 James? 668 00:40:45,014 --> 00:40:47,369 James. Honey? 669 00:40:59,405 --> 00:41:01,282 Rocks! 670 00:41:01,741 --> 00:41:04,494 - I like yours. - Yeah, it's so cute. 671 00:41:04,869 --> 00:41:06,427 Where's your collage? 672 00:41:06,745 --> 00:41:09,896 - Didrt do it. - Miss Craig is gonna slime you. 673 00:41:10,291 --> 00:41:12,247 - Big deal. - Excuse me, ladies. 674 00:41:12,586 --> 00:41:14,941 Why didn't you do your assignment? 675 00:41:15,297 --> 00:41:20,052 It's stupid. We had to make a collage of things we asked Santa for. 676 00:41:20,511 --> 00:41:21,864 But there is no... 677 00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:25,091 Don't say that in front of Julie or anyone in class. 678 00:41:25,475 --> 00:41:28,035 You don't want to upset everybody, do you? 679 00:41:28,644 --> 00:41:30,282 - It's the truth. - What is? 680 00:41:30,605 --> 00:41:34,041 Nothing, honey. Mike, please, just do me this favour. 681 00:41:34,443 --> 00:41:36,593 Don't say anything to anybody. 682 00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:39,345 - Okay. - All right! Bash Brothers! 683 00:41:39,655 --> 00:41:42,249 - All right! We are Bash! We... - Mom. Mom! 684 00:41:42,618 --> 00:41:43,767 You're a girl. 685 00:41:44,995 --> 00:41:47,304 Sorry. He'll be back soon. 686 00:42:10,272 --> 00:42:12,911 - Did he win at the dog races? - Ma. 687 00:42:13,275 --> 00:42:15,505 Where'd he get the jacket? He looks... 688 00:42:15,861 --> 00:42:18,500 - Hot. The word's "hot." - Hot. Hot. 689 00:42:24,203 --> 00:42:28,958 Excuse me. This is a special evening. I'd like a bottle of Cristal. 690 00:42:29,876 --> 00:42:31,594 And this is for the table. 691 00:42:31,879 --> 00:42:33,597 He's picked up a few things. 692 00:42:37,885 --> 00:42:38,761 What? 693 00:42:39,010 --> 00:42:42,207 Six months in Miami, I return to the The Twilight Zone. 694 00:42:44,476 --> 00:42:46,273 You've had faith in me all these years. 695 00:42:46,561 --> 00:42:49,314 What better way to show my thanks to my mother-in-law... 696 00:42:49,647 --> 00:42:52,957 ...than to... - Rub her nose in it. I get it. 697 00:42:53,318 --> 00:42:56,151 You made good. I'm impressed. Okay? 698 00:42:57,029 --> 00:42:58,018 Okay. Thank you. 699 00:43:05,289 --> 00:43:07,120 Gentlemen, would you excuse me? 700 00:43:08,710 --> 00:43:09,938 There's Samantha! 701 00:43:10,211 --> 00:43:11,564 - Great. - What? 702 00:43:11,879 --> 00:43:15,030 I feel so schlumpy around her. Do I have dog hair on me? 703 00:43:15,425 --> 00:43:16,778 Hello, James. 704 00:43:17,094 --> 00:43:19,608 This is my mother-in-law. Rosie, Samantha. 705 00:43:19,930 --> 00:43:22,205 - How do you do? - Hello. 706 00:43:22,516 --> 00:43:26,031 - And you know my wife, Mollie. - Yes, of course, Mollie. 707 00:43:26,435 --> 00:43:29,268 - Nice to see you again. - Did you ever find a job? 708 00:43:31,441 --> 00:43:33,716 I'm starving. Let's order. 709 00:43:34,028 --> 00:43:35,143 Do try the duck. 710 00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:38,563 Samantha ought to know. She recommended the place. 711 00:43:39,076 --> 00:43:39,952 You did? 712 00:43:40,870 --> 00:43:43,589 How else would we get into a place like this? 713 00:43:45,833 --> 00:43:47,152 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 714 00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:49,851 Have a lovely, lovely evening. 715 00:43:50,211 --> 00:43:51,883 Nice jacket. 716 00:43:52,215 --> 00:43:55,651 She's teasing me. She bought this jacket for me. 717 00:43:56,928 --> 00:43:58,247 She bought it for you? 718 00:43:58,595 --> 00:44:00,950 We were in France, at a fancy restaurant. 719 00:44:01,265 --> 00:44:05,816 I couldn't wear my uniform, so she had her driver buy me this jacket. 720 00:44:07,856 --> 00:44:09,289 Of course. 721 00:44:10,569 --> 00:44:13,402 Gosh, she forgot her pocketbook. Hey, Samantha! 722 00:44:16,407 --> 00:44:19,365 Is it just me, or was she... 723 00:44:19,744 --> 00:44:21,780 I wanted to slap her teeth out. 724 00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:23,308 It's obvious, isn't it? 725 00:44:23,623 --> 00:44:26,376 She practically offered him Taster's Choice. 726 00:44:26,752 --> 00:44:28,105 I don't know what to do. 727 00:44:28,588 --> 00:44:30,977 I know people. We could have her audited. 728 00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,479 That is not a good idea. It's my fault anyway. 729 00:44:34,843 --> 00:44:38,199 I pushed him to make him exactly what I wanted him to be. 730 00:44:38,598 --> 00:44:40,429 And now he is. I hate it. 731 00:44:40,724 --> 00:44:42,555 He's a keeper. Talk to him. 732 00:44:43,102 --> 00:44:44,455 I know it. 733 00:44:45,229 --> 00:44:46,218 Can you excuse me? 734 00:44:46,481 --> 00:44:49,279 Good. Make a scene. Here, throw this in her face. 735 00:44:49,609 --> 00:44:52,407 Ma, I am just gonna call the sitter. 736 00:44:57,784 --> 00:44:58,773 Hello? 737 00:45:00,036 --> 00:45:02,027 Yeah, everything's cool. 738 00:45:02,373 --> 00:45:03,931 All right, bye. 739 00:45:07,379 --> 00:45:08,971 You hooligans. 740 00:45:09,255 --> 00:45:11,450 Well, what do you do for fun? Shed? 741 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,917 At least I don't have vermin building condos in my fur. 742 00:45:15,262 --> 00:45:19,221 At this rate, you won't have fur. That kid's giving you a bald spot. 743 00:45:19,598 --> 00:45:22,874 My mistress is kind. Your child is demon spawn. 744 00:45:23,228 --> 00:45:24,661 "Your child is demon spawn." 745 00:45:24,938 --> 00:45:28,089 Quit brushing her. She already looks like a Q-tip. 746 00:45:28,442 --> 00:45:30,239 Your dog smells like a diaper. 747 00:45:30,528 --> 00:45:32,678 - Does not. - Diaper dog! Diaper dog! 748 00:45:32,989 --> 00:45:34,388 Q-tip-head dog. 749 00:45:34,656 --> 00:45:35,691 Stinky dog! 750 00:45:35,949 --> 00:45:37,302 Bald-butted dog. 751 00:45:41,832 --> 00:45:43,743 I got it! It's mine. No problem. 752 00:45:46,921 --> 00:45:48,070 I'm homeless! 753 00:45:52,593 --> 00:45:53,582 What happened? 754 00:45:53,843 --> 00:45:55,196 You mongrel wretch! 755 00:45:55,472 --> 00:45:58,464 - Get real. It's just a box, Daffy. - Daphne! 756 00:45:58,808 --> 00:46:00,082 Come on. I'm sorry. 757 00:46:00,393 --> 00:46:03,385 - Look, I can fix it. - I never want to see you again! 758 00:46:03,730 --> 00:46:05,243 It'll be tough. I live here. 759 00:46:05,565 --> 00:46:07,999 We'll just see about that! 760 00:46:08,317 --> 00:46:09,352 Let's see. 761 00:46:09,652 --> 00:46:14,487 She yells the most when he gets the ones in boxes. 762 00:46:15,743 --> 00:46:17,938 What does he see in these smelly things? 763 00:46:18,245 --> 00:46:22,796 Courage, Daphne, courage. You'll be rid of him soon. 764 00:46:23,209 --> 00:46:27,725 You think there's nothing weird about buying someone dinner and clothing? 765 00:46:28,130 --> 00:46:31,247 If a guy asks me to Le Cirque and buys me a teddy, it's okay? 766 00:46:31,636 --> 00:46:34,787 A jacket's not a teddy. This is a teddy. 767 00:46:35,848 --> 00:46:39,397 I'm trying not to be a shrew and scream and hate her guts. 768 00:46:39,810 --> 00:46:43,564 Although I wouldn't mind seeing her decomposing body by the river. 769 00:46:43,981 --> 00:46:46,415 You don't have to socialize with her. 770 00:46:46,776 --> 00:46:48,846 Just keep your eyes on the road... 771 00:46:49,196 --> 00:46:52,154 ...or the sky or whatever you keep your eyes on. 772 00:46:52,533 --> 00:46:55,286 Answer me this: Why is it that I can trust you... 773 00:46:55,660 --> 00:46:58,777 ...when you had an affair with a married client? 774 00:46:59,123 --> 00:47:02,115 That was 8 billion years ago! I never see him. 775 00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:05,890 How do I know that? I can only trust. I have faith in you. 776 00:47:06,256 --> 00:47:09,054 You don't have much faith if you keep bringing it up. 777 00:47:09,383 --> 00:47:14,138 I don't keep on bringing... Oh, honey, listen to us. 778 00:47:14,556 --> 00:47:16,547 After six years, we're still jealous. 779 00:47:16,850 --> 00:47:19,239 - Isn't that good? - I don't know. 780 00:47:20,144 --> 00:47:23,614 It's you I like. It's not Samantha. 781 00:47:24,025 --> 00:47:25,458 I like you. 782 00:47:25,776 --> 00:47:28,813 Honey, I'm crazy about you. I love you so much. 783 00:47:29,196 --> 00:47:33,155 Watch out for her. She's real flirty. I know about girls like that. 784 00:47:33,576 --> 00:47:34,929 I was one. 785 00:47:35,661 --> 00:47:38,095 - Okay. I promise. - Okay. 786 00:47:42,544 --> 00:47:43,420 He did it! 787 00:47:43,711 --> 00:47:45,702 Mom, it was her fault. 788 00:47:47,173 --> 00:47:48,288 I'll put them to bed. 789 00:47:48,592 --> 00:47:51,948 Honey, don't ruin it. Don't ruin the moment. 790 00:47:58,143 --> 00:48:00,179 - I don't want to go. - You have to go. 791 00:48:00,522 --> 00:48:03,639 - But you don't trust me. - I do. I do trust you. 792 00:48:05,401 --> 00:48:07,232 I don't trust her. 793 00:48:10,031 --> 00:48:11,862 You two, come on. 794 00:50:04,946 --> 00:50:05,856 Hi, honey. 795 00:50:06,113 --> 00:50:07,785 - Where are you? - I'm in London. 796 00:50:08,157 --> 00:50:09,988 I'm in San Francisco, honey. 797 00:50:10,285 --> 00:50:11,764 I'm in Reno. 798 00:50:13,789 --> 00:50:15,222 We're in Dallas. 799 00:50:15,540 --> 00:50:18,850 What do you mean I'm being audited? It's not even tax season! 800 00:50:40,567 --> 00:50:42,398 Mom? Where's Dad? 801 00:50:42,736 --> 00:50:44,294 He'll be home soon. 802 00:50:45,197 --> 00:50:47,791 Will he be here for Christmas? 803 00:50:48,492 --> 00:50:51,962 Your dad wouldn't miss Christmas for all the stars in the sky. 804 00:50:52,372 --> 00:50:54,090 What about the moon? 805 00:50:56,250 --> 00:50:57,842 The moon too. 806 00:50:59,212 --> 00:51:00,201 Bedtime. 807 00:51:00,506 --> 00:51:02,019 Bedtime. 808 00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,200 - I love you. - I love you too. 809 00:51:19,692 --> 00:51:20,807 Good night. 810 00:52:15,793 --> 00:52:18,102 - She thinks we're in Dallas? - She bought it. 811 00:52:18,464 --> 00:52:20,216 - Dumb cow! - Dumb cow! 812 00:52:34,981 --> 00:52:38,496 And what do you want for Christmas, little boy? 813 00:52:42,613 --> 00:52:44,729 Well, Mollie... 814 00:52:45,076 --> 00:52:47,988 ...I never asked you what you want for Christmas. 815 00:52:48,913 --> 00:52:53,828 Santa, I can't think of any present I'd rather have than you. 816 00:52:57,338 --> 00:52:58,657 Oh, Albert! 817 00:53:01,468 --> 00:53:04,380 Come here, you studmuffin! 818 00:53:39,008 --> 00:53:41,920 Honey, what are we doing? 819 00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:46,102 I don't know. This isn't us. We'd never do this. 820 00:53:46,517 --> 00:53:48,269 Do you think we're dreaming? 821 00:53:48,602 --> 00:53:51,514 I think it's one where you know you're dreaming. 822 00:53:56,902 --> 00:54:00,338 Excuse me, but we were having an affair. 823 00:54:01,615 --> 00:54:05,051 Does this mean we can do whatever we want to do in the dream? 824 00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,156 Excuse me. 825 00:54:19,634 --> 00:54:22,194 You see that? I told you they werert real. 826 00:54:28,435 --> 00:54:31,154 Honey, you know I can't dance. 827 00:54:31,481 --> 00:54:33,790 You can dance. This is our dream. 828 00:55:43,933 --> 00:55:45,889 Oh, James. 829 00:55:46,227 --> 00:55:49,060 Ex cuse me. Mistress? Please wake up. 830 00:55:49,439 --> 00:55:52,875 I need to be walked quite badly as a matter of fact. 831 00:55:53,276 --> 00:55:55,631 Oh, well, I'm a lady. I can hold it. 832 00:55:55,945 --> 00:55:59,142 No, I can't, I'm desperate! Oh, God, she's in a coma. 833 00:55:59,491 --> 00:56:00,765 Please wake up! 834 00:56:01,034 --> 00:56:04,993 I can't have an accident like a common mutt. It's too demeaning. 835 00:56:05,415 --> 00:56:08,612 Baby, you are so jumpy. Let her alone. She looks happy. 836 00:56:08,959 --> 00:56:10,597 Well, what am I supposed to do? 837 00:56:11,378 --> 00:56:13,050 - I'll take you out. - But how? 838 00:56:13,632 --> 00:56:14,860 Come on. 839 00:56:15,716 --> 00:56:18,184 But we need a master to open the door. 840 00:56:18,554 --> 00:56:19,873 Want to bet? 841 00:56:21,889 --> 00:56:23,038 How did you do that? 842 00:56:23,351 --> 00:56:25,307 I know things not taught in school. 843 00:56:25,644 --> 00:56:27,475 Ex cuse me. I was valedictorian. 844 00:56:27,813 --> 00:56:29,292 Give it up, kid. Come on! 845 00:56:29,565 --> 00:56:30,714 What about my leash? 846 00:56:30,982 --> 00:56:32,973 You haven't lived till you try it naked. 847 00:56:33,319 --> 00:56:34,957 Don't get fresh! 848 00:56:39,158 --> 00:56:41,547 - How about dinner out? - I'm not hungry. 849 00:56:41,912 --> 00:56:45,825 You dolls always say that. Forget your diet. Let's get Italian. 850 00:56:46,249 --> 00:56:49,446 No. I'm so fat these days, I look like an English sheepdog. 851 00:56:49,795 --> 00:56:51,308 You nuts? You look great. 852 00:56:51,588 --> 00:56:55,501 When I was young, I had one of those greyhound hardbodies. 853 00:56:55,885 --> 00:56:59,161 - What do you mean? You're a kid. - Well, I'm pushing 7. 854 00:56:59,514 --> 00:57:02,028 Seven? You don't look a day over 5. 855 00:57:02,349 --> 00:57:05,421 Do you really think so? Well, maybe a little Chinese. 856 00:57:05,769 --> 00:57:07,600 I know just the place. Follow me. 857 00:57:10,567 --> 00:57:13,127 Wait until you taste their moo goo gai pan. 858 00:57:13,487 --> 00:57:15,239 - Great. - Hope it's on the menu. 859 00:57:15,573 --> 00:57:17,848 But wait. Where are the dog dishes? 860 00:57:18,159 --> 00:57:19,797 We don't need no dog dishes. 861 00:57:20,077 --> 00:57:22,386 - What are you doing? - Getting us takeout. 862 00:57:22,871 --> 00:57:23,906 How clever. 863 00:57:24,582 --> 00:57:27,699 The green tea ice cream goes great with lobster sauce. 864 00:57:28,086 --> 00:57:29,917 - Oh, ex cuse me. - Good, huh? 865 00:57:32,842 --> 00:57:35,231 What do you think about the world at large? 866 00:57:35,552 --> 00:57:40,023 I must admit, there's a certain exhilaration to this leash-less state. 867 00:57:40,431 --> 00:57:44,470 When I think about it, Samantha never let me run free, or petted me... 868 00:57:44,896 --> 00:57:49,014 ...or played with me. Actually, I never liked her. You know what else? 869 00:57:49,401 --> 00:57:53,792 I hate this haircut. My butt is freezing! 870 00:57:54,405 --> 00:57:57,397 Nice butt. No offense, no offense! 871 00:58:00,537 --> 00:58:02,846 It's getting bright out. We should get back. 872 00:58:03,165 --> 00:58:06,157 - It's only the shank of the evening. - We really should. 873 00:58:06,543 --> 00:58:08,499 All right. I know a shortcut. 874 00:58:08,796 --> 00:58:10,946 - Through that? - Yeah. 875 00:58:11,256 --> 00:58:12,655 Wait a minute. What is it? 876 00:58:12,925 --> 00:58:15,564 Mud. You never seen mud before? 877 00:58:15,887 --> 00:58:19,163 It's mud. When the wet stuff comes down and hits the dirt. 878 00:58:20,059 --> 00:58:22,175 - Dirt? - Oh, you have been sheltered. 879 00:58:22,519 --> 00:58:25,238 I won't lie: It's not the highlight of our evening. 880 00:58:25,564 --> 00:58:28,124 Just gotta grit your teeth and slog through it. 881 00:58:28,441 --> 00:58:32,400 Oh, no, no, no. There is absolutely no possible way I could... 882 00:58:33,907 --> 00:58:34,976 Firm... 883 00:58:35,241 --> 00:58:37,960 ...yet squishy. 884 00:58:38,410 --> 00:58:39,604 Yeah. I'm sorry. 885 00:58:40,079 --> 00:58:42,513 Sorry? I like it! 886 00:58:42,874 --> 00:58:46,264 The oozy gooey-ness of it. It's so... 887 00:58:46,628 --> 00:58:47,981 ...sensual! 888 00:58:48,296 --> 00:58:50,685 - It's glorious! - It's mud. 889 00:58:51,550 --> 00:58:52,744 - Play with me! - Now? 890 00:58:53,010 --> 00:58:55,046 Play with me in the mud! 891 00:58:55,346 --> 00:58:57,302 You're a wild thing! 892 00:59:01,895 --> 00:59:04,363 This is totally filthy! 893 00:59:11,863 --> 00:59:14,900 By the way, I never asked you... What's your name? 894 00:59:15,241 --> 00:59:17,118 Me? They call me "No." 895 00:59:17,412 --> 00:59:22,327 Silly. "No" isn't your name! That's what they say when you're bad. 896 00:59:22,917 --> 00:59:26,034 No. What's another word they say all the time to you? 897 00:59:26,462 --> 00:59:28,214 There's that "Rocks" thing. 898 00:59:28,505 --> 00:59:30,894 Rocks! That's it. That's your name. 899 00:59:31,259 --> 00:59:33,250 You are one smart cookie, you know? 900 00:59:33,553 --> 00:59:34,906 You finally noticed. 901 00:59:35,222 --> 00:59:37,736 Well, be cool. Here comes the doorman. 902 00:59:43,063 --> 00:59:45,213 Permit me to walk you to your door. 903 00:59:45,566 --> 00:59:47,397 I almost hate for this to end. 904 00:59:48,068 --> 00:59:51,822 Well, Rocks, thank you for a wonderful evening. 905 00:59:52,198 --> 00:59:54,189 It's so ex citing out there. 906 00:59:54,951 --> 00:59:57,624 But it's nice to have a warm place to come back to. 907 00:59:58,204 --> 01:00:02,436 Where you don't fight for food, and people don't throw you into trucks. 908 01:00:02,834 --> 01:00:05,064 - You mean home? - Is that what this is? 909 01:00:05,378 --> 01:00:06,811 It's our home. 910 01:00:07,423 --> 01:00:09,300 Yeah. Home. 911 01:00:09,592 --> 01:00:11,901 - I like the ring of that. - No! 912 01:00:13,430 --> 01:00:17,025 Rocks! You have eaten your last shoe around this house! 913 01:00:17,433 --> 01:00:18,991 - Oh, no. - What'd I do? 914 01:00:19,310 --> 01:00:21,744 - You are out of here! - No! 915 01:00:22,104 --> 01:00:25,414 Mike, hold on. Honey, open the door. 916 01:00:25,942 --> 01:00:28,775 Mike, will you please open the door? 917 01:00:29,114 --> 01:00:31,070 I want Daddy! 918 01:00:35,035 --> 01:00:36,946 Merry Christmas, guys. 919 01:00:37,288 --> 01:00:40,837 Merry Christmas, Tom. Merry Christmas, Dave. 920 01:00:42,460 --> 01:00:44,610 Merry Christmas, Samantha. 921 01:00:47,841 --> 01:00:50,435 Oh, dear. This is going to be difficult. 922 01:00:50,801 --> 01:00:54,157 I spoke to Conti. After swearing he'd keep all our people... 923 01:00:54,515 --> 01:00:56,585 ...he now won't go through with the merger... 924 01:00:56,892 --> 01:00:58,803 ...unless I let go of 3000 of them. 925 01:00:59,102 --> 01:01:02,014 You're kidding. Well, can't you do anything about it? 926 01:01:02,732 --> 01:01:06,247 Well, I have this one chance. He has this cabin upstate. 927 01:01:06,611 --> 01:01:10,809 He wants me to go there, plead my case this afternoon. 928 01:01:11,783 --> 01:01:15,492 Oh, Samantha, it's Christmas Eve. I can't. 929 01:01:15,871 --> 01:01:17,623 I know. Believe me, I know. 930 01:01:17,915 --> 01:01:21,794 If there was any other way, but, I mean, 3000 people? 931 01:01:24,421 --> 01:01:26,571 Be right back. Ralph! 932 01:01:28,885 --> 01:01:30,955 Ralph, you're current on the Falcon, right? 933 01:01:31,262 --> 01:01:32,456 No. No way. 934 01:01:32,763 --> 01:01:35,231 - Don, I know you are. - Christmas Eve, man. 935 01:01:35,558 --> 01:01:37,788 - Bill, I'll give you $500. - I can't. 936 01:01:38,103 --> 01:01:39,900 - 600. - Hell, I'll do it. 937 01:01:40,230 --> 01:01:41,663 - 750. - We're married. 938 01:01:41,940 --> 01:01:44,852 We want to stay that way. Jerry might do it. He's single. 939 01:01:45,194 --> 01:01:47,185 Too late. He's on the runway. 940 01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:51,556 Jerry! Stop! Jerry, stop! 941 01:01:58,583 --> 01:02:00,539 Honey, I'm really sorry. 942 01:02:01,461 --> 01:02:04,339 I did everything I could to try to get out of this. 943 01:02:04,673 --> 01:02:07,028 My parents will be here in less than an hour. 944 01:02:07,383 --> 01:02:10,978 I'm still peeling potatoes and a sock's stuck in the garbage disposal. 945 01:02:11,347 --> 01:02:13,099 I'll take care of it later. 946 01:02:13,391 --> 01:02:16,542 And I'll be there for dinner, I promise. 947 01:02:16,977 --> 01:02:18,205 Can I talk to Mikey? 948 01:02:18,479 --> 01:02:22,154 Yes. Mike, it's your dad! 949 01:02:27,905 --> 01:02:29,577 - Hello. - Hey, Mike. 950 01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,749 I know that you're not feeling so good right now, but... 951 01:02:34,121 --> 01:02:35,156 When will you be home? 952 01:02:35,747 --> 01:02:37,419 I'll be home very soon. 953 01:02:37,834 --> 01:02:38,983 I want you now. 954 01:02:39,251 --> 01:02:40,445 I want to be there too. 955 01:02:40,710 --> 01:02:44,259 Hey, do you think Santa would keep us apart on Christmas Eve? 956 01:02:44,881 --> 01:02:47,190 I mean, no way. Right? 957 01:02:48,261 --> 01:02:49,580 Here's Julie. 958 01:02:52,349 --> 01:02:53,338 Hi, Daddy. 959 01:02:53,766 --> 01:02:55,677 - Knock, knock. - Who's there? 960 01:02:55,978 --> 01:02:57,093 - Mary. - Mary who? 961 01:02:57,354 --> 01:02:59,072 Merry Christmas, Daddy! 962 01:03:04,029 --> 01:03:06,418 - Hi, Rocks. - How you doing, kid? 963 01:03:08,074 --> 01:03:10,190 I'm sorry. Mom won't let you in the house. 964 01:03:10,535 --> 01:03:13,254 It's not like I never spent the night outside before. 965 01:03:15,456 --> 01:03:17,731 Why'd you have to go and chew on her shoes? 966 01:03:18,042 --> 01:03:21,352 It was me, Rocks. I did it. 967 01:03:21,839 --> 01:03:23,955 - I set you up. - I know. 968 01:03:24,717 --> 01:03:28,915 But it was before we... Oh, I'd give anything to take it back. 969 01:03:29,347 --> 01:03:31,463 Mom says you have to go away. 970 01:03:31,807 --> 01:03:35,766 It was only a matter of time. This home stuff was too good to last. 971 01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:39,557 Mom says someday I can get another dog. 972 01:03:40,527 --> 01:03:44,202 But I don't want another dog. You're my dog. 973 01:03:45,363 --> 01:03:48,753 It's okay, kid. I don't belong here. 974 01:03:49,118 --> 01:03:52,110 You're nice people. You deserve a classy dog like Daph. 975 01:03:52,496 --> 01:03:54,088 She's got looks, brains. 976 01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:56,495 Brains aren't everything. 977 01:03:58,003 --> 01:04:00,642 I may not be smart, but I know I'm out of here. 978 01:04:01,005 --> 01:04:04,202 You are smart. If you'd pay attention, you could learn... 979 01:04:04,551 --> 01:04:06,143 ...everything they'd want you to. 980 01:04:06,428 --> 01:04:08,817 What do you mean, tricks? It's too late. 981 01:04:09,181 --> 01:04:12,378 Not with America's most overtrained dog as your teacher. 982 01:04:22,821 --> 01:04:26,052 - Well, here we are. - Do you mind if I use the phone? 983 01:04:26,574 --> 01:04:30,408 Oh, no. There's one downstairs in the kitchen, to the right. 984 01:04:44,927 --> 01:04:47,202 This line is dead. Do you have another line? 985 01:04:47,555 --> 01:04:51,468 There's a fax machine here. Oh, what's this? 986 01:04:52,019 --> 01:04:56,251 It's from Conti. You read it. I can't see without my glasses. 987 01:04:57,858 --> 01:05:01,134 "Wort be in until late tonight, possibly first thing tomorrow. 988 01:05:01,528 --> 01:05:04,042 Don't leave. Please make yourself at home." 989 01:05:04,864 --> 01:05:06,058 Oh, man. 990 01:05:07,785 --> 01:05:10,094 - This is dead too. - Damn! 991 01:05:10,413 --> 01:05:12,210 I gotta go. I better stop the driver. 992 01:05:12,540 --> 01:05:14,690 - He's gone. - He's gone? 993 01:05:16,086 --> 01:05:18,281 I can't miss my family's Christmas. 994 01:05:18,630 --> 01:05:21,747 James, I feel absolutely ghastly about this. 995 01:05:22,133 --> 01:05:23,327 Scotch? 996 01:05:25,011 --> 01:05:28,083 Let's start with something easy. "Sit" is very popular. 997 01:05:28,432 --> 01:05:30,104 - You've heard it? - Sounds familiar. 998 01:05:30,476 --> 01:05:33,627 Okay. Front paws stiff. Butt on floor. 999 01:05:33,980 --> 01:05:35,698 That's all there is to it. 1000 01:05:36,023 --> 01:05:38,059 That's what they've been babbling about? 1001 01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:41,756 What can I say? It's a power trip. Uh-oh, busted. 1002 01:05:42,154 --> 01:05:45,271 Hey, kid's mom! Let's do the "sit" thing. 1003 01:05:45,617 --> 01:05:47,335 Hey, come over here. Ask me. 1004 01:05:49,038 --> 01:05:50,391 What's with you? 1005 01:05:51,790 --> 01:05:53,348 You're being affectionate? 1006 01:05:54,876 --> 01:05:56,025 Try guilty. 1007 01:05:56,336 --> 01:05:59,931 Well, you do have a sweet side, don't you? 1008 01:06:00,340 --> 01:06:01,659 Yeah. 1009 01:06:01,968 --> 01:06:03,526 Please don't send Rocks away. 1010 01:06:03,845 --> 01:06:07,963 Here! Over here! Look, look, see? I got this "sit" thing nailed. 1011 01:06:08,350 --> 01:06:11,467 He's decent, loyal. Everything I'm not. 1012 01:06:11,811 --> 01:06:12,800 What? 1013 01:06:13,479 --> 01:06:15,595 What, do you miss Rocks? 1014 01:06:16,775 --> 01:06:17,969 I thought you hated him. 1015 01:06:18,235 --> 01:06:20,385 Once you get past the fleas, he's charming. 1016 01:06:20,739 --> 01:06:23,128 That's the way it goes, isn't it? 1017 01:06:23,449 --> 01:06:25,599 First, you think they're not good enough. 1018 01:06:26,911 --> 01:06:30,950 Then they grow on you, and then you can't live without them. 1019 01:06:32,042 --> 01:06:33,680 Ain't it the truth. 1020 01:06:39,966 --> 01:06:43,436 Look, I'm just gonna walk into town and rent a car, okay? 1021 01:06:43,804 --> 01:06:45,362 I'll be home in a few hours. 1022 01:06:45,681 --> 01:06:48,639 Okay, whatever you want to do, but... 1023 01:06:49,017 --> 01:06:52,009 ...do you think you ought to walk 10 miles in that? 1024 01:07:11,667 --> 01:07:15,376 That's him! That's my husband! 1025 01:07:30,479 --> 01:07:34,916 Oh, yeah? Well, a Merry Christmas to you too, you rude bimbo! 1026 01:07:35,318 --> 01:07:36,990 There's the holiday spirit. 1027 01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:40,278 Samantha's office won't give me the number where they are. 1028 01:07:40,656 --> 01:07:42,965 They're treating me like I'm some wacko! 1029 01:07:44,910 --> 01:07:46,138 I know what I'll do. 1030 01:07:46,412 --> 01:07:50,963 I'll call Mr. Conti. I bet his secretary will tell me where they are. 1031 01:07:57,675 --> 01:07:59,905 Mr. Conti's office. 1032 01:08:01,261 --> 01:08:02,853 What cabin? 1033 01:08:04,389 --> 01:08:07,347 I'm sorry. There must be some mistake. 1034 01:08:07,727 --> 01:08:11,879 Mr. Conti is in the Bahamas with his family. 1035 01:08:18,530 --> 01:08:22,364 James better hurry. That bird's ready to come out. 1036 01:08:22,784 --> 01:08:26,299 He doesn't need to hurry, Mother. He's having an affair. 1037 01:08:27,124 --> 01:08:29,922 - What? - There is no meeting. 1038 01:08:30,293 --> 01:08:33,524 He and Ms. Fortune 500 are shacked up... 1039 01:08:33,879 --> 01:08:35,597 ...in some cabin upstate. 1040 01:08:35,924 --> 01:08:40,042 So while I am here, peeling thousands of little pearl onions... 1041 01:08:40,469 --> 01:08:44,428 ...because he loves them, he's having an affair on Christmas Eve. 1042 01:08:44,851 --> 01:08:48,730 Come on, now. You don't believe that. 1043 01:08:49,146 --> 01:08:51,376 Well, Mother, what would you believe? 1044 01:08:51,691 --> 01:08:54,728 Sweetie, you remember in the war... 1045 01:08:55,111 --> 01:08:58,740 ...when your father's ship was shelled and he was on that island? 1046 01:08:59,158 --> 01:09:03,117 For 17 days, then he was rescued. What does that have to do with this? 1047 01:09:03,536 --> 01:09:07,006 What you don't know was he was on that island alone... 1048 01:09:07,416 --> 01:09:10,135 ...with 13 USO girls. 1049 01:09:10,503 --> 01:09:13,654 God forbid, it wasrt Bob Hope. 1050 01:09:14,090 --> 01:09:16,206 Those girls had been around the block... 1051 01:09:16,552 --> 01:09:20,909 ...and remember, your father was a devastatingly handsome man. 1052 01:09:23,182 --> 01:09:24,615 That's beautiful. 1053 01:09:29,398 --> 01:09:32,549 Go on, Mother. So, what happened? 1054 01:09:32,943 --> 01:09:35,411 Nothing. At least he swore nothing happened. 1055 01:09:35,738 --> 01:09:37,694 Said they played gin rummy the whole time. 1056 01:09:38,032 --> 01:09:40,421 - And you believed him? - Of course not. 1057 01:09:40,785 --> 01:09:42,104 Well, Mother! 1058 01:09:42,369 --> 01:09:45,088 Now, wait. Later I met some of the girls. 1059 01:09:45,456 --> 01:09:49,734 It turned out that he hadrt played gin rummy the whole time. 1060 01:09:50,170 --> 01:09:52,081 All he did the whole time... 1061 01:09:52,381 --> 01:09:54,736 ...was talk about me. 1062 01:09:55,051 --> 01:09:57,884 And I believed them. 1063 01:10:00,597 --> 01:10:02,508 Now, in your heart... 1064 01:10:02,850 --> 01:10:07,207 ...do you really believe that James would cheat on you? 1065 01:10:19,744 --> 01:10:23,896 Well, James, since we're stuck here, we might as well relax. 1066 01:10:26,875 --> 01:10:27,864 Isn't it great? 1067 01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:36,074 This isn't good. 1068 01:10:36,428 --> 01:10:37,417 What? 1069 01:10:38,013 --> 01:10:40,732 What is this? This all seems like some kind of... 1070 01:10:41,057 --> 01:10:42,570 Some sort of what? 1071 01:10:49,817 --> 01:10:51,853 Oh, I'm so embarrassed. 1072 01:10:52,194 --> 01:10:55,186 You think I planned this as some sort of... Oh, God. 1073 01:10:55,531 --> 01:11:00,207 God, I'm wrong! Oh, man! To even think you'd go for a guy like me! 1074 01:11:00,661 --> 01:11:01,650 Sit down. 1075 01:11:01,912 --> 01:11:05,791 I am so stupid! You probably have someone like... 1076 01:11:06,168 --> 01:11:09,205 ...Prince Charles in a condo, waiting for you somewhere. 1077 01:11:09,588 --> 01:11:13,979 No. And no, I didn't have any plans for tonight. 1078 01:11:14,384 --> 01:11:17,979 You're kidding. You were actually going to be alone for Christmas? 1079 01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:20,955 - I'm used to it. - I can't believe it. 1080 01:11:21,310 --> 01:11:23,983 When I was little, I was usually at boarding school. 1081 01:11:24,521 --> 01:11:25,715 Where were your folks? 1082 01:11:26,106 --> 01:11:29,735 - Oh, I don't know. Skiing. - Instead of being with their kid? 1083 01:11:30,693 --> 01:11:34,925 Their parents did it to them, they did it to me. It was fine. 1084 01:11:35,365 --> 01:11:39,199 I also had a lot of advantages. I went to the best schools. 1085 01:11:39,621 --> 01:11:42,215 I could speak 4 languages by the time I was 15. 1086 01:11:43,416 --> 01:11:45,930 When I was 15, I was flunking English. 1087 01:11:46,753 --> 01:11:48,709 I suppose I did wonder about... 1088 01:11:49,047 --> 01:11:52,756 Well, you know, regular high school. Boys. 1089 01:11:53,843 --> 01:11:56,960 - Dances. That kind of thing. - You didn't go to dances? 1090 01:11:57,307 --> 01:12:00,697 No. If I'm really honest, I actually don't know how. 1091 01:12:01,059 --> 01:12:02,856 Come on. Everybody can dance. 1092 01:12:03,146 --> 01:12:04,977 - Everybody cannot dance! - They can. 1093 01:12:05,314 --> 01:12:07,589 - No, they cannot! - It's easy. 1094 01:12:12,572 --> 01:12:13,766 What's wrong? 1095 01:12:14,116 --> 01:12:15,105 Nothing. 1096 01:12:15,368 --> 01:12:16,881 He's not coming, is he? 1097 01:12:17,410 --> 01:12:20,322 Oh, honey, he's trying real hard to get back tonight. 1098 01:12:20,956 --> 01:12:22,912 I knew it. He's not coming back. 1099 01:12:23,250 --> 01:12:27,368 Let's go and open some of the gifts that Grandma and Grandpa brought. 1100 01:12:27,755 --> 01:12:29,427 I'm sure Santa wouldn't mind. 1101 01:12:29,715 --> 01:12:31,626 - There is no Santa! - What? 1102 01:12:32,301 --> 01:12:33,939 There is no Santa. 1103 01:12:34,262 --> 01:12:35,490 Now, you stop that! 1104 01:12:35,763 --> 01:12:38,880 If there was, wouldn't he let Daddy be with us? 1105 01:12:39,517 --> 01:12:43,066 - What's wrong? Where's Daddy? - Oh, sweetie! 1106 01:12:43,480 --> 01:12:45,391 I want my daddy. 1107 01:12:45,732 --> 01:12:47,051 Christmas stinks. 1108 01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:50,238 Everybody just hold it! I think I have an idea. 1109 01:12:50,738 --> 01:12:54,731 Let's open some presents. Look what's in this. Open this one. 1110 01:12:55,158 --> 01:12:57,035 - I don't want one. - I'll have it. 1111 01:12:57,329 --> 01:12:59,160 Ms. D'Bonne's office, please. 1112 01:13:00,873 --> 01:13:04,422 Hello. I am calling from Olympic Florist... 1113 01:13:04,836 --> 01:13:08,067 ...and I have 350 red long-stemmed roses... 1114 01:13:08,465 --> 01:13:10,376 ...to deliver to Ms. D'Bonne. 1115 01:13:10,967 --> 01:13:12,719 I need the address, please. 1116 01:13:13,096 --> 01:13:14,814 They're coming from a Mr... 1117 01:13:15,139 --> 01:13:18,336 ...James Ubriacco, Ubri... 1118 01:13:18,726 --> 01:13:21,843 Yeah, doll, that's it. That's it. 1119 01:13:25,483 --> 01:13:28,714 Good. Thanks, doll. And a Merry Christmas to you too. 1120 01:13:29,070 --> 01:13:30,344 Sucker. 1121 01:13:30,948 --> 01:13:33,542 Kids, listen to Mommy. Go in your rooms... 1122 01:13:33,867 --> 01:13:36,461 ...and put on warm clothes. We're taking a trip. 1123 01:13:36,828 --> 01:13:39,183 Daddy, will you put the presents in the car? 1124 01:13:39,539 --> 01:13:44,090 Ma, will you put the onions in some Tupperware? Come on, let's move it! 1125 01:13:44,545 --> 01:13:48,902 Go! Daddy won't come to Christmas, Christmas will come to Daddy. 1126 01:14:02,731 --> 01:14:05,006 Rocks, I don't feel so good. 1127 01:14:05,318 --> 01:14:08,230 It's fun. It's chasing without the stupid running. 1128 01:14:08,570 --> 01:14:10,845 I'm going to lose my Kibbles 'n Bits. 1129 01:14:18,999 --> 01:14:20,193 What's this? 1130 01:14:20,625 --> 01:14:23,822 Touch a present and you'll be hunting gophers for dinner. 1131 01:14:38,144 --> 01:14:39,463 I smell fruitcake! 1132 01:14:39,772 --> 01:14:42,161 - That's gotta be fruitcake. - Rocks, I said no! 1133 01:14:42,982 --> 01:14:44,779 Mom. Mom, look out! 1134 01:14:52,326 --> 01:14:54,123 Don't worry. Mommy's just playing. 1135 01:14:56,913 --> 01:14:58,471 Hang on! 1136 01:15:02,337 --> 01:15:03,326 Stop this thing! 1137 01:15:15,101 --> 01:15:17,376 Are you okay? Are you okay, honey? 1138 01:15:17,812 --> 01:15:18,927 Is everybody okay? 1139 01:15:19,230 --> 01:15:22,586 All right, good. Now, wasrt that fun? 1140 01:15:22,983 --> 01:15:24,132 No. 1141 01:15:24,444 --> 01:15:25,718 No. All right. 1142 01:15:26,154 --> 01:15:29,863 Okay. Well, tell you what we're gonna do. 1143 01:15:30,533 --> 01:15:33,286 Mommy's gonna figure out how to get us out of here. 1144 01:15:34,371 --> 01:15:36,043 - I got an idea. - What? 1145 01:15:36,415 --> 01:15:38,292 You push and I drive. 1146 01:15:38,625 --> 01:15:41,662 Really? Good. You have your driver's license with you? 1147 01:15:42,589 --> 01:15:43,385 No. 1148 01:15:43,631 --> 01:15:46,509 Okay, good try. I know. I have an idea. 1149 01:15:46,884 --> 01:15:51,162 Look, there's lots of pine cones here. I'm gonna gather some up for us. 1150 01:15:51,598 --> 01:15:54,112 - And while I do that... - I don't like pine cones. 1151 01:15:54,476 --> 01:15:56,034 Oh, you don't? 1152 01:15:56,686 --> 01:15:59,246 Well, okay, then I will get you a stick. 1153 01:15:59,607 --> 01:16:02,644 And then you guys sing and guard the presents, okay? 1154 01:16:03,026 --> 01:16:06,382 So sing a nice loud Christmas song so Mommy can hear you. 1155 01:16:21,420 --> 01:16:23,536 Now what am I gonna do? 1156 01:16:31,724 --> 01:16:34,397 Will you stop messing me up! 1157 01:16:54,623 --> 01:16:56,375 Meals on wheels. 1158 01:16:56,749 --> 01:16:58,899 Mommy found another doggie. 1159 01:16:59,212 --> 01:17:00,281 That's no dog. 1160 01:17:00,589 --> 01:17:02,978 Hey, mama, on your way to Grandma's house? 1161 01:17:04,467 --> 01:17:06,105 Hey, you! Beat it! 1162 01:17:09,305 --> 01:17:11,865 Ooh, I love the smell of fear. 1163 01:17:12,184 --> 01:17:13,822 Nice wolf. 1164 01:17:15,104 --> 01:17:16,742 I won't hurt you. 1165 01:17:19,317 --> 01:17:20,511 Nice wolf. 1166 01:17:22,695 --> 01:17:24,174 I like wolves. 1167 01:17:28,659 --> 01:17:30,615 Let me out of here! Let me out! 1168 01:17:30,912 --> 01:17:31,708 Nice wolf. 1169 01:17:33,665 --> 01:17:34,984 Come on, come on. 1170 01:17:40,005 --> 01:17:44,157 Just leave the lady alone, unless you want to get spayed the hard way. 1171 01:17:44,969 --> 01:17:48,405 He talks the talk, but can he walk the walk? 1172 01:17:50,600 --> 01:17:52,795 Back off, this ain't your business. 1173 01:17:53,144 --> 01:17:55,294 The hell it ain't. That's my family. 1174 01:17:55,647 --> 01:17:59,196 Remember when Mommy told you the story about Peter and the wolf? 1175 01:17:59,609 --> 01:18:04,364 Well, there's the wolf. Where is that crazy Peter when you need him? 1176 01:18:17,921 --> 01:18:19,479 Rocks! 1177 01:18:46,619 --> 01:18:48,655 Rocks! Oh, no! No! 1178 01:18:53,542 --> 01:18:54,736 Rip his throat out! 1179 01:18:57,170 --> 01:18:59,365 Ow! My tail! 1180 01:18:59,880 --> 01:19:02,792 Never mess with a street dog, you wuss. 1181 01:19:14,063 --> 01:19:17,100 Rocks, you're hurt! Look at your paws and your ears. 1182 01:19:17,441 --> 01:19:20,956 Your little ears. And your neck. What did that animal do to you? 1183 01:19:21,322 --> 01:19:23,119 - It's nothing. - Oh, sweetheart. 1184 01:19:23,408 --> 01:19:25,683 Sweetheart? Oh, baby! 1185 01:19:29,288 --> 01:19:31,438 Hey, I smell kid's dad. Up this way. 1186 01:19:31,791 --> 01:19:32,860 The master? 1187 01:19:33,125 --> 01:19:35,400 But you're hurt. Come back to the car. 1188 01:19:35,711 --> 01:19:38,350 - We gotta get them help. - Then I'm going too. 1189 01:19:38,716 --> 01:19:41,833 - No, you're a house dog. - I've still got my animal instincts. 1190 01:19:42,219 --> 01:19:44,494 All right. Go back that way and get help. 1191 01:19:44,847 --> 01:19:47,281 All right. Which way? 1192 01:19:47,599 --> 01:19:50,432 - You gotta sniff for people. - Sniff? 1193 01:19:50,810 --> 01:19:53,165 - Stick your nose in the air and suck. - What? 1194 01:19:53,481 --> 01:19:56,632 Mommy's gotta go get the dogs before they run away. 1195 01:19:57,319 --> 01:20:00,595 - Take care of yourself. - Don't worry about me. 1196 01:20:01,197 --> 01:20:02,789 Sniff. No, that's snort. 1197 01:20:04,868 --> 01:20:06,699 Rocks! Here, boy! 1198 01:20:07,037 --> 01:20:08,231 Come on, guys! 1199 01:20:08,538 --> 01:20:11,052 - Where'd they go? - Daphne! Here, girl! 1200 01:20:11,375 --> 01:20:13,206 Maybe they went to the bathroom. 1201 01:20:13,545 --> 01:20:16,855 They should have gone to the bathroom before we left, right? 1202 01:20:17,214 --> 01:20:18,613 That's right. 1203 01:20:19,174 --> 01:20:20,493 Rocks, come back! 1204 01:20:20,802 --> 01:20:23,362 - Daphne! - Let's get back in the car. 1205 01:20:23,721 --> 01:20:25,518 - He'll come back. - Come back, girl. 1206 01:20:25,849 --> 01:20:28,807 I'll let you open a present. Whichever one you want. 1207 01:20:29,186 --> 01:20:30,699 But Rocks is hurt! 1208 01:20:31,021 --> 01:20:33,660 Honey, he'll be fine. 1209 01:20:34,149 --> 01:20:35,980 Six, seven... 1210 01:20:36,318 --> 01:20:38,036 ...eight and slow. 1211 01:20:38,363 --> 01:20:40,115 Quick, quick, slow. 1212 01:20:40,448 --> 01:20:42,200 Quick, quick, slow. 1213 01:20:45,870 --> 01:20:48,668 Good. Quick, quick, slow. Good. 1214 01:20:50,875 --> 01:20:53,184 Excellent. Good. 1215 01:21:06,935 --> 01:21:09,688 - See, you can dance. - But how do we do it like this? 1216 01:21:10,062 --> 01:21:12,781 Well, you just do it the same way. 1217 01:21:13,358 --> 01:21:14,154 Slow. 1218 01:21:14,443 --> 01:21:16,479 Quick, quick, slow. 1219 01:21:16,820 --> 01:21:18,731 Quick, quick, slow. 1220 01:21:21,157 --> 01:21:24,832 I think I'm sniffing. I'm inaling and I'm getting nothing. 1221 01:21:25,245 --> 01:21:28,476 I'm just an inbred washout. I can't even smell... People! 1222 01:21:31,544 --> 01:21:32,374 I did it! 1223 01:21:32,670 --> 01:21:36,549 I can sniff! I am not a poodle, I am a wild, marauding beast! 1224 01:21:38,301 --> 01:21:40,337 Move it! My masters need help. 1225 01:22:01,701 --> 01:22:04,420 The phone is out, huh? You are unbelievable. 1226 01:22:04,788 --> 01:22:06,824 How dare you treat me like that? 1227 01:22:07,125 --> 01:22:09,320 Easy. You're a lousy human being. 1228 01:22:12,127 --> 01:22:16,723 Listen to me, James. You are a very impressive man. 1229 01:22:17,176 --> 01:22:19,929 Over the past few months, I have watched you bloom. 1230 01:22:20,263 --> 01:22:22,299 You deserve better than some... 1231 01:22:22,641 --> 01:22:25,599 ...frumpy housewife who doesn't have the resourcefulness... 1232 01:22:25,935 --> 01:22:27,846 ...to find herself a decent job. 1233 01:22:30,482 --> 01:22:33,315 She's smart enough to find me here. That's our dog! 1234 01:22:37,781 --> 01:22:41,899 - Hey, Rocks. All right. - Hey, big guy. Hey, pal, give me paw. 1235 01:22:42,328 --> 01:22:45,206 - What happened? - Not so rough. 1236 01:22:45,539 --> 01:22:47,848 Whoa! Is she in heat, or what? 1237 01:22:51,839 --> 01:22:55,275 If you walk out that door, I will personally guarantee... 1238 01:22:55,634 --> 01:22:57,067 ...that you never fly... 1239 01:22:57,344 --> 01:23:00,973 ...for a reputable company for the rest of your pathetic... 1240 01:23:03,224 --> 01:23:06,341 How do you like that? That'll cool you off. 1241 01:23:08,272 --> 01:23:09,341 Rocks, let's go. 1242 01:23:09,607 --> 01:23:10,926 Good shot, huh? 1243 01:23:12,943 --> 01:23:14,012 Bye. 1244 01:23:20,284 --> 01:23:21,842 It's a hat. 1245 01:23:22,161 --> 01:23:24,994 It's a hat. Let's put it on. 1246 01:23:26,166 --> 01:23:27,804 I think it goes a different way. 1247 01:23:28,336 --> 01:23:31,646 Let's see. You look so pretty! 1248 01:23:33,132 --> 01:23:37,410 Look at that face! Mikey, you want to open another one? 1249 01:23:38,554 --> 01:23:40,192 It's probably more clothes. 1250 01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:42,746 You're lucky we gave you some boring things. 1251 01:23:43,101 --> 01:23:46,252 Otherwise, you'd be freezing your tushy off right now. 1252 01:23:51,777 --> 01:23:53,415 Is that Daphne? 1253 01:23:56,406 --> 01:23:59,842 My God! My dog is a genius! 1254 01:24:00,245 --> 01:24:01,917 Way to go, Daphne! 1255 01:24:02,245 --> 01:24:05,237 No need for applause. Just throw treats. 1256 01:24:05,917 --> 01:24:07,794 Come on, we're almost there. 1257 01:24:09,171 --> 01:24:12,208 Okay, Rocks, where are they? Are we getting close? 1258 01:24:12,882 --> 01:24:15,032 Are we? Right. 1259 01:24:15,344 --> 01:24:17,812 What are you gonna say? "They're just up the road... 1260 01:24:18,179 --> 01:24:20,898 ...about a quarter of a mile, just past the 7-11." 1261 01:24:22,351 --> 01:24:23,340 This way. 1262 01:24:23,603 --> 01:24:28,040 Are you gonna trust that dinky bulb on your face or my nose? Come on! 1263 01:24:28,441 --> 01:24:30,716 All right. I hope you're right. 1264 01:24:36,908 --> 01:24:39,866 Mollie! Mollie! 1265 01:24:41,289 --> 01:24:43,849 Oh, God. Mollie! 1266 01:24:45,502 --> 01:24:47,254 They're gone? I can't believe it. 1267 01:24:47,586 --> 01:24:50,419 Look on the floor. They were here. I left them here. 1268 01:25:04,146 --> 01:25:05,374 Come on in. 1269 01:25:08,442 --> 01:25:11,161 There are some cots in the back you could use. 1270 01:25:11,487 --> 01:25:15,480 No, thank you. We can't sleep here. We have to find my husband tonight. 1271 01:25:15,868 --> 01:25:17,540 No one's going anywhere tonight. 1272 01:25:18,036 --> 01:25:20,994 You hunker down here. We'll go out in the morning. 1273 01:25:21,372 --> 01:25:23,966 We have to go. This is Christmas Eve. We've gotta... 1274 01:25:24,291 --> 01:25:25,406 I'm sorry. 1275 01:25:26,794 --> 01:25:29,467 If it's any consolation, I have cookies and eggnog. 1276 01:25:29,798 --> 01:25:31,516 You can help yourselves. 1277 01:25:32,927 --> 01:25:34,155 Thank you. 1278 01:25:49,695 --> 01:25:51,686 I'm sorry, you guys. 1279 01:25:52,032 --> 01:25:55,263 I didn't mean to get us stuck out in the middle of nowhere... 1280 01:25:55,659 --> 01:25:57,615 ...without our daddy. Sorry. 1281 01:25:58,078 --> 01:26:00,717 How's Santa gonna find us here? 1282 01:26:03,292 --> 01:26:06,011 Don't worry, he has special radar. 1283 01:26:14,428 --> 01:26:17,659 - Merry Christmas, Mom. - Merry Christmas, Mom. 1284 01:26:18,476 --> 01:26:20,034 Merry Christmas. 1285 01:26:32,615 --> 01:26:35,083 - He was big and he jumped me. - We'll find him. 1286 01:26:35,827 --> 01:26:38,944 Wait, wait. I think I'm picking up on something here. 1287 01:26:40,165 --> 01:26:41,996 Fresh meat, fresh meat, fresh meat. 1288 01:26:49,550 --> 01:26:51,302 Yeah, that's the guy. 1289 01:26:51,845 --> 01:26:52,880 Damn. 1290 01:26:53,137 --> 01:26:54,490 - He bit me. - He ain't so big. 1291 01:26:54,764 --> 01:26:55,753 He had friends. 1292 01:26:56,016 --> 01:26:57,893 The fur's gonna fly. 1293 01:26:58,183 --> 01:27:00,094 Run! I'll take care of these guys. 1294 01:27:00,604 --> 01:27:02,481 You take care of nobody, chump. 1295 01:27:04,483 --> 01:27:05,472 It's showtime. 1296 01:27:05,734 --> 01:27:07,247 - Your funeral. - Your mama. 1297 01:27:08,320 --> 01:27:09,309 Kill! 1298 01:27:27,049 --> 01:27:29,165 Honey, let's go to bed now. 1299 01:27:29,509 --> 01:27:32,546 - I'm not sleepy. - I know. 1300 01:27:32,929 --> 01:27:34,328 But you know what? 1301 01:27:34,639 --> 01:27:38,552 The sooner we go to sleep, the sooner Christmas will come. 1302 01:27:57,874 --> 01:27:59,307 Santa? 1303 01:28:15,935 --> 01:28:17,050 Mom. 1304 01:28:17,727 --> 01:28:19,922 Come over here. Look. 1305 01:28:20,313 --> 01:28:22,224 I think it's Santa. 1306 01:28:33,369 --> 01:28:34,404 Hello? 1307 01:28:39,250 --> 01:28:40,239 Man. 1308 01:28:40,668 --> 01:28:42,784 Merry Christmas, honey. 1309 01:28:52,598 --> 01:28:54,156 Daddy! 1310 01:28:54,518 --> 01:28:56,588 - Daddy! - Hi, Julie. 1311 01:29:04,946 --> 01:29:06,459 Where's Rocks? 1312 01:29:06,780 --> 01:29:10,329 You wouldn't believe it. We ran into these wolves, right? 1313 01:29:10,742 --> 01:29:12,653 We actually got attacked by wolves. 1314 01:29:12,953 --> 01:29:15,990 - Oh, no. - And Rocks came to my defence. 1315 01:29:16,373 --> 01:29:19,922 And one of the wolves chomped on my beeper. Look at it. 1316 01:29:20,545 --> 01:29:24,504 And they all totally spazzed out. Bunch of wimps. 1317 01:29:26,884 --> 01:29:29,159 Hey, kid, it's great to see you. 1318 01:29:30,598 --> 01:29:32,828 Oh, Rocks! How did you find us? 1319 01:29:33,142 --> 01:29:35,212 I just followed your scent. 1320 01:29:36,061 --> 01:29:38,700 And you smell beautiful, Daphne. Oh, honey pie! 1321 01:29:39,022 --> 01:29:41,980 - Pumpkin butt. - Not in front of the kids. 1322 01:29:42,443 --> 01:29:46,197 And, James, before the wolves... 1323 01:29:46,865 --> 01:29:47,934 ...what were you doing? 1324 01:29:49,159 --> 01:29:50,672 Getting fired. 1325 01:29:53,454 --> 01:29:54,887 Thank God! 1326 01:29:57,041 --> 01:29:58,872 Mom, can Rocks stay with us now? 1327 01:30:00,171 --> 01:30:02,321 Honey, have a heart. 1328 01:30:02,631 --> 01:30:05,099 If not for Rocks, we wouldn't be here together. 1329 01:30:05,552 --> 01:30:08,464 - I mean, I might even be dead. - I know! That's why... 1330 01:30:08,805 --> 01:30:11,478 So, what if he's not the smartest dog in the world? 1331 01:30:11,849 --> 01:30:13,840 Who cares if he can sit down? 1332 01:30:14,144 --> 01:30:15,133 I can sit down. 1333 01:30:15,395 --> 01:30:18,626 - Or if he can beg. - Beg? Beg's easy. Look. 1334 01:30:18,982 --> 01:30:22,338 Who needs a beggar in the family? Or lie down? 1335 01:30:22,737 --> 01:30:25,570 I mean, the point is, he is still a great dog. 1336 01:30:26,281 --> 01:30:27,430 He stays. 1337 01:30:27,740 --> 01:30:28,650 - What? - He stays. 1338 01:30:28,950 --> 01:30:30,144 Really? 1339 01:30:30,411 --> 01:30:32,129 Hey, Mike, did you hear that? 1340 01:30:33,790 --> 01:30:35,143 I'm gonna stay! 1341 01:30:35,459 --> 01:30:36,778 Hey, guys? 1342 01:30:37,962 --> 01:30:40,078 I'm picking up something weird over here. 1343 01:30:48,347 --> 01:30:50,907 Hey, what is that? Come here. 1344 01:30:52,268 --> 01:30:54,304 Is that sleigh bells? 1345 01:30:56,398 --> 01:30:59,708 Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! 1346 01:31:01,903 --> 01:31:04,178 - I told you he was real. - I knew that. 1347 01:31:04,531 --> 01:31:05,964 - You did not. - I always knew. 1348 01:31:06,282 --> 01:31:07,874 - You did not. - Did too. 1349 01:31:08,411 --> 01:31:11,084 - She kissed you! - I hate my sister. 1350 01:31:11,414 --> 01:31:13,484 - Get the cootie spray! - Let's go to bed. 1351 01:31:13,832 --> 01:31:16,790 - I don't want to go to bed. - This is so exciting! 1352 01:31:17,127 --> 01:31:21,279 Santa's right outside. He's right above our head. Can't you hear it? 1353 01:31:21,305 --> 01:31:25,855 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0