1 00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:09,729 This is one hell of a way to spend Christmas. 2 00:01:09,979 --> 00:01:12,982 - Mulcahey! - Sir. 3 00:01:13,232 --> 00:01:19,196 Secure the sidewalk. No one gets in or out. 4 00:01:37,004 --> 00:01:42,008 I have a present for you! Pigs! 5 00:01:47,305 --> 00:01:53,060 Let the children go! Damn you, Ripper! 6 00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:20,836 Slater!! 7 00:02:21,086 --> 00:02:26,549 Do no even think it, Slater. Wait for the hostage negotiator. 8 00:02:26,799 --> 00:02:29,385 Goddamn it, Jack, I am talking to you! 9 00:02:29,635 --> 00:02:33,264 The last time you pulled this jive, jitterbug, tough gonad shit - 10 00:02:33,514 --> 00:02:36,141 - people lost bodyparts! 11 00:02:36,392 --> 00:02:41,646 If you go in there, you will lose your badge! 12 00:02:41,855 --> 00:02:44,149 Jack, as Mayor of this city, - 13 00:02:44,399 --> 00:02:48,152 - you and I have had our tiffs, but this is the Lieutenant Governor. 14 00:02:48,403 --> 00:02:52,823 - When the Governor gets here, call me. - Do not let Slater in. 15 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:56,285 Repeat: Do not let him in! 16 00:02:56,535 --> 00:02:59,121 Piece of cake. 17 00:02:59,371 --> 00:03:04,334 Do you want to be a farmer? Here is a couple of acres. 18 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:10,923 - Dekker, the next one I will hurt. - Slater, do not go in there! 19 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:20,932 Check fire. There is a plain-clothes officer in the building. 20 00:03:24,102 --> 00:03:28,439 - Jack, what kept you? - Dad! 21 00:03:30,441 --> 00:03:36,363 Andy is getting nervous. I promised him you would come. 22 00:03:36,613 --> 00:03:43,411 I gave him my word he could watch you die. Lose the cannon. 23 00:03:43,662 --> 00:03:47,957 Has he hurt you, Andrew? 24 00:03:48,041 --> 00:03:53,379 Did you say hurt, Jack? What do you know about hurt? 25 00:03:53,629 --> 00:03:58,717 - You put me in a cage for ten years. - You deserved the death penalty. 26 00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:01,678 Yes, whatever. 27 00:04:01,928 --> 00:04:06,516 Things crawl around in my head and sit on my chest when I wake up. 28 00:04:06,766 --> 00:04:09,769 Do you know what it is like? 29 00:04:10,019 --> 00:04:17,025 Your illegal search rendered the bloody axe inadmissable. Remember? 30 00:04:17,276 --> 00:04:21,363 Now lose the gun. 31 00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:34,875 All right, I am unarmed. Let the boy go. 32 00:04:35,125 --> 00:04:41,298 Just one gun, Jack? You must be kidding. 33 00:05:02,275 --> 00:05:06,613 - Is that all, sport? - Yes, that about does it. 34 00:05:06,863 --> 00:05:10,283 Then step away. 35 00:05:12,535 --> 00:05:15,204 Chop-chop. 36 00:05:15,454 --> 00:05:21,710 Unless you consider this a weapon. 37 00:05:27,965 --> 00:05:33,345 Brilliant, Jack. Brilliant. I surrender. 38 00:05:33,596 --> 00:05:36,015 - That is a live grenade. - Sure. 39 00:05:36,265 --> 00:05:42,145 You will sacrifice your son to get me. I am flattered, but I doubt it. 40 00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:48,067 Andy, pick up the grenade. Go on. 41 00:05:51,654 --> 00:05:55,532 Show it to me. 42 00:06:00,328 --> 00:06:05,542 Jack, that toy cannot hurt the boy. 43 00:06:05,792 --> 00:06:09,795 But this one can. 44 00:06:28,646 --> 00:06:31,190 Focus! 45 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:36,361 Come on, focus! 46 00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:41,283 People are trying to sleep. 47 00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:46,663 The film is out of focus. The film... Never mind. 48 00:06:46,913 --> 00:06:50,541 Nick! 49 00:07:10,226 --> 00:07:14,521 Nick, are you okay? 50 00:07:14,813 --> 00:07:19,609 The climax is on the fritz. 51 00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:34,540 I never used to do that, Danny. 52 00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:41,171 It is okay. I have seen this Slater six times. I was just worried. 53 00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:45,592 The new Jack Slater opens this weekend. 54 00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:53,474 Like I did not know that. "They killed his cousin. Big mistake!" 55 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:56,393 "Jack Slater IV." 56 00:07:56,643 --> 00:08:02,399 I am checking the print tonight. Midnight. Just myself. 57 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:10,156 I could get you admittance, if that sort of thing appeals to you. 58 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:14,285 See it before it opens? Who do I have to kill? 59 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:21,374 Just get to school. You will only be four hours late. 60 00:08:45,813 --> 00:08:51,193 Treachery, conspiracy, sex, sword fights, madness, ghosts. 61 00:08:51,444 --> 00:08:53,946 And everybody dies. 62 00:08:54,196 --> 00:08:57,324 Shakespeare's "Hamlet" could not be more exciting. 63 00:08:57,574 --> 00:09:02,287 And though he may seem incapable of taking action, - 64 00:09:02,537 --> 00:09:09,377 - he is one of the first action heroes. 65 00:09:10,253 --> 00:09:16,925 You will now see a scene from the film by Laurence Olivier. 66 00:09:17,176 --> 00:09:21,304 You may have seen him in the Polaroid commercial - 67 00:09:21,555 --> 00:09:27,643 - or as Zeus in "Clash of the Titans". 68 00:09:27,769 --> 00:09:32,857 O bosom black as death. 69 00:09:35,025 --> 00:09:40,447 Help angels. All may yet be well. 70 00:09:40,697 --> 00:09:43,700 Now he is praying. 71 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:48,246 And now I will do it. 72 00:10:00,424 --> 00:10:07,638 - And so he goes to heaven. - Do not talk, just do it. 73 00:10:09,599 --> 00:10:13,310 Hey, Claudius. 74 00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:20,150 You killed my father. 75 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,154 Big mistake. 76 00:10:25,071 --> 00:10:28,241 Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. 77 00:10:28,491 --> 00:10:34,246 And Hamlet is taking out the trash. 78 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:44,923 - Stay thy hand, fair prince. - Who said I am fair? 79 00:10:50,094 --> 00:10:55,349 No one is going to tell this sweet prince goodnight. 80 00:10:55,599 --> 00:11:00,562 To be... or not to be. 81 00:11:00,812 --> 00:11:04,858 Not to be. 82 00:11:20,831 --> 00:11:25,960 The whole morning? He was not? 83 00:11:26,044 --> 00:11:31,924 No, he was not at school today. He is sick as a lamb. 84 00:11:32,174 --> 00:11:37,721 Tell me the story of your life starting this morning, first period. 85 00:11:37,971 --> 00:11:40,348 And make it good. 86 00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:48,481 Something along the lines of: "I cut so I could donate a kidney." 87 00:11:48,481 --> 00:11:54,361 Were you at the movies again? That crazy guy is an accessory. 88 00:11:54,612 --> 00:11:59,866 - Nick is not crazy. - Damn it, Danny! 89 00:12:00,117 --> 00:12:09,458 I lied to a principal. And what for? So you can go to the movies? 90 00:12:09,709 --> 00:12:11,460 Sorry. 91 00:12:11,711 --> 00:12:14,630 I did not choose this. 92 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:20,552 I did not ask to become a widow before the age of forty. 93 00:12:20,802 --> 00:12:22,387 I know that. 94 00:12:22,637 --> 00:12:26,599 Give me a hug. 95 00:12:26,891 --> 00:12:30,019 - I will not cut again. - Let me hear the "P" word. 96 00:12:30,269 --> 00:12:34,231 I promise. 97 00:12:34,523 --> 00:12:40,195 Jesus! I am late. I have to get to work. 98 00:12:40,404 --> 00:12:44,324 Lock the top lock the minute I close the door. 99 00:12:44,574 --> 00:12:50,997 And do not open for anyone. Bye. I love you. 100 00:13:42,544 --> 00:13:46,798 Are you alone? Okay. Move it! 101 00:13:51,969 --> 00:13:56,348 Do yourself to the drain. 102 00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:02,020 Tough guy. 103 00:14:03,271 --> 00:14:09,443 Do it. I will make it easier for you. 104 00:14:10,403 --> 00:14:14,156 Go ahead. 105 00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:18,368 Do it. 106 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,917 What is it with you? You have junk! 107 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:32,757 No jewelry, no VCR. A shit TV worth twenty bucks. 108 00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:36,760 Go fish, amigo. 109 00:14:39,304 --> 00:14:43,475 Remember your mom says you are to go straight home. 110 00:14:43,725 --> 00:14:48,729 She will be there when the shift is over. 111 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:54,735 If we find the guy, I will give you a call. 112 00:15:29,016 --> 00:15:34,521 - I almost gave up on you. - I am sorry. 113 00:15:43,613 --> 00:15:49,452 - What do you think? - I have never seen anything like it. 114 00:15:49,702 --> 00:15:56,083 - It is not too tight, is it? - No. It is the style. 115 00:15:56,333 --> 00:16:03,173 I always wanted to be a magician. But my hands were too tiny. 116 00:16:03,423 --> 00:16:09,178 My father worked here and got me my first job. Usher. 117 00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:18,687 I worked myself up to projectionist. It is not much, but it is showbiz. 118 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,276 So, is the print ready? 119 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:31,115 Just a minute, young man. Are we not forgetting something? 120 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:38,705 You have to have a ticket to see a movie. And I have just the one. 121 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:47,630 When I was your age, Harry Houdini played here and I met him backstage. 122 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,676 And he made a gesture like this. 123 00:16:51,926 --> 00:16:56,472 And all of a sudden this was in his hand. 124 00:16:56,722 --> 00:17:01,643 And he said to me: "This is a magic ticket." 125 00:17:01,893 --> 00:17:07,482 "I got it from an Indian magician, who got it from a Tibetan magician." 126 00:17:07,732 --> 00:17:13,612 "It is a passport to another world. It was mine." 127 00:17:13,863 --> 00:17:17,908 "And now it is yours." 128 00:17:19,910 --> 00:17:24,039 And now it is yours. 129 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:30,378 - What does it do, Nick? - I never had the courage to find out. 130 00:17:30,628 --> 00:17:36,675 I have always wanted to try, but I was afraid it would not work. 131 00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:43,431 At your age Houdini was like a god to me. What if he was faking? 132 00:17:43,682 --> 00:17:47,518 And then again... 133 00:17:47,518 --> 00:17:54,608 - What if it did work? - What if it did? 134 00:17:55,401 --> 00:17:59,071 Houdini said something else. He said: 135 00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:09,205 "This ticket has a mind of its own. It does what it wants to do." 136 00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:14,209 That always made me edgy. 137 00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:22,008 I guess there is only one way to find out then. Right? 138 00:18:24,928 --> 00:18:29,932 Please retain your stub, sir. 139 00:18:32,393 --> 00:18:36,980 - Shall we see if Slater wins? - Jack Slater cannot lose. 140 00:18:37,231 --> 00:18:41,943 Never has, never will. 141 00:19:23,064 --> 00:19:27,944 Oh, Frankie. 142 00:19:29,111 --> 00:19:37,077 Frankie, why do you keep on with the insults? 143 00:19:37,327 --> 00:19:43,917 - I would not insult you, Mr. Vivaldi. - When you lie, that is an insult. 144 00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:50,381 You are Jack Slater's favourite cousin. You talk all the time. 145 00:19:50,631 --> 00:20:00,265 I must know what Slater knows and you are going to tell me. 146 00:20:00,807 --> 00:20:03,560 Does he know that me and Torelli - 147 00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:09,899 - have just signed a secret pact to control - 148 00:20:10,149 --> 00:20:14,737 - all drugs in Southern California? 149 00:20:14,987 --> 00:20:22,702 We mostly talk muzzle velocities. Guns. 150 00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:40,177 Meet Mr. Benedict. 151 00:20:40,427 --> 00:20:45,765 The genuine article. And you better believe it. 152 00:20:46,015 --> 00:20:53,606 Sometimes he likes to bake while he shoots people. 153 00:20:54,106 --> 00:21:00,445 I am saying that Mr. Benedict can take you out as easy as cake. 154 00:21:00,695 --> 00:21:05,116 Pie, you Sicilian schmuck. 155 00:21:05,366 --> 00:21:13,165 The man is a surgeon. 156 00:21:13,541 --> 00:21:20,589 Do you want me to make him operate on you? 157 00:21:20,839 --> 00:21:24,926 I swear I do not know. 158 00:21:30,306 --> 00:21:36,645 Dump him at his place. But take it easy. 159 00:21:37,938 --> 00:21:45,820 He bought it. He actually believes me and Torelli are banding together. 160 00:21:46,070 --> 00:21:53,452 The beauty part is, nobody knows different. Until after the funeral. 161 00:21:53,702 --> 00:21:58,332 Then everybody knows. 162 00:22:00,709 --> 00:22:09,884 Everybody knows Tony Vivaldi is number one. 163 00:22:10,134 --> 00:22:15,973 You are going to pay. 164 00:22:17,724 --> 00:22:21,520 Is this right? It does not look like a crack house. 165 00:22:21,770 --> 00:22:29,652 Do you want 60 guys dancing on the lawn throwing cocaine around? 166 00:22:43,623 --> 00:22:46,542 - What is up, guys? - Quiet. This is a drug bust. 167 00:22:46,793 --> 00:22:50,546 Drug bust? You must be joking. 168 00:22:50,796 --> 00:22:56,802 My cousin Frank lives here. The only drugs he has is aspirin. 169 00:22:57,052 --> 00:23:00,680 If you touch that front door, you are going to need them. 170 00:23:00,931 --> 00:23:07,270 It must be a mistake. We received an anonymous tip. 171 00:23:10,106 --> 00:23:13,108 Frank? 172 00:23:29,123 --> 00:23:32,460 Jack, listen to me. 173 00:23:32,710 --> 00:23:35,254 - Who did this? - Listen to me. 174 00:23:35,504 --> 00:23:38,674 This is important. 175 00:23:38,924 --> 00:23:47,932 Tony Vivaldi and the Torelli mob are joining forces. 176 00:23:49,142 --> 00:23:52,812 I am out of here. 177 00:24:01,903 --> 00:24:05,281 Sorry, Frank. 178 00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:30,304 It is a bomb! 179 00:24:37,978 --> 00:24:43,650 He is okay. Minor wound. Both cops dead. 180 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:05,420 Two days to retirement. 181 00:26:16,151 --> 00:26:20,238 Nick? 182 00:26:44,302 --> 00:26:50,683 - Who the hell are you? - Do not shoot me! I am a kid. 183 00:27:00,192 --> 00:27:04,654 - How did you get here? - I do not think you want to know. 184 00:27:04,904 --> 00:27:09,909 Close your eyes, stay flat and do not move! 185 00:27:28,176 --> 00:27:30,720 You are driving with no hands! 186 00:27:30,970 --> 00:27:36,975 You have to practice and never do it in heavy traffic. 187 00:27:45,024 --> 00:27:50,029 I iced that guy, to cone a phrase. 188 00:27:51,697 --> 00:27:56,618 Wait... The bad puns, the voice, the hard rock. 189 00:27:56,869 --> 00:28:02,165 This is really happening. 190 00:28:03,792 --> 00:28:09,755 This is not happening. Repeat: This is not... 191 00:29:37,586 --> 00:29:41,298 I threw up. Sorry. I thought I was going to die. 192 00:29:41,548 --> 00:29:47,637 I am sorry to disappoint you, but you will live to enjoy the fruits of life. 193 00:29:47,887 --> 00:29:55,144 Acne, shaving, premature ejaculation and divorce. 194 00:30:16,205 --> 00:30:21,168 Does this suck weenie or what? 195 00:30:21,835 --> 00:30:25,004 This is a movie set. 196 00:30:25,255 --> 00:30:32,344 This is a movie. That is how the scenery changed, right? 197 00:30:39,059 --> 00:30:45,773 You are going to play chicken, right? Just like Jack Slater. 198 00:30:49,068 --> 00:30:52,863 Fasten your seat belt, please. 199 00:30:53,113 --> 00:30:58,744 Your fingers? Cross as many as you can. 200 00:31:39,573 --> 00:31:46,412 I am in the movie. Holy cow, I am in the movie. 201 00:31:50,249 --> 00:31:55,546 Nick, Houdini was not faking. 202 00:32:24,781 --> 00:32:28,743 Jack, did you see that? 203 00:32:33,581 --> 00:32:40,295 I was just in a real police station. And this is much nicer. 204 00:32:40,545 --> 00:32:45,216 Slater, it is your ex-wife on line two! 205 00:32:45,466 --> 00:32:48,928 You stay. She is always calling me. 206 00:32:49,178 --> 00:32:52,890 Hello, sweetheart. It is nice to hear your voice. 207 00:32:53,140 --> 00:33:00,981 - Oiler! You team up with Waterman. - Give me a partner, Sarge. 208 00:33:02,983 --> 00:33:06,861 That is right. 209 00:33:07,904 --> 00:33:13,784 Of course. No, just as you said. 210 00:33:14,994 --> 00:33:20,290 Krause! You team up with the rabbi. 211 00:33:30,466 --> 00:33:34,345 - How do you get to Carnegie Hall? - Practice! 212 00:33:34,595 --> 00:33:38,932 John Practice, you S.O.B. Why are you not in Washington? 213 00:33:39,182 --> 00:33:43,311 The Bureau thinks there is something going on between... 214 00:33:43,561 --> 00:33:47,106 Vivaldi is joining forces with Torelli. 215 00:33:47,357 --> 00:33:52,987 - How do you do that? - I do not sit around eating donuts. 216 00:33:53,237 --> 00:33:57,574 Those are government donuts. I have to call D.C. 217 00:33:57,824 --> 00:34:00,410 Good for you. 218 00:34:00,660 --> 00:34:04,914 Watch it, Jack. He killed Mozart. 219 00:34:05,165 --> 00:34:09,043 - In a movie? - "Amadeus". It won 8 Oscars! 220 00:34:09,293 --> 00:34:13,047 I saved him in 'Nam, so I will be on the lookout. 221 00:34:13,297 --> 00:34:17,885 Now, no more movies. 222 00:34:17,968 --> 00:34:22,055 Slater!! 223 00:34:23,014 --> 00:34:26,768 The city council is chewing my eggs off for your plane crash! 224 00:34:27,018 --> 00:34:31,147 The mayor is parading up my Lincoln Tunnel for that beach stunt! 225 00:34:31,397 --> 00:34:33,899 Everybody wants to know what it will be! 226 00:34:34,149 --> 00:34:38,278 - Do I make myself clear?! - I am just doing my job. 227 00:34:38,528 --> 00:34:41,865 You have given us the worst reputation in the country! 228 00:34:42,115 --> 00:34:45,702 The Chamber of Commerce is doing cartwheels in my cocoa factory! 229 00:34:45,952 --> 00:34:49,080 Ratcliff, you are on duty with the cat. 230 00:34:49,330 --> 00:34:53,209 Hiya, Toots! 231 00:34:54,126 --> 00:34:59,172 - Join me for a flea bath later? - Touch me again and I will kill you! 232 00:34:59,423 --> 00:35:02,425 - I can prove this is a movie. - Who are you? 233 00:35:02,676 --> 00:35:04,803 It is a cartoon cat. 234 00:35:05,053 --> 00:35:10,141 He is supposed to be back. He was only suspended a month. 235 00:35:10,391 --> 00:35:16,897 Listen to me. An animated cat just walked into the squad room. 236 00:35:17,147 --> 00:35:21,526 - He will do it again tomorrow. - That cat is one of my best men. 237 00:35:21,776 --> 00:35:25,029 Who is that smiling twerp? 238 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:29,242 I love the way you fight, knowing how you really feel about each other. 239 00:35:29,492 --> 00:35:33,662 How do I feel about this sack of puppy poo? 240 00:35:33,913 --> 00:35:37,332 You are dearest friends. After your wife left you - 241 00:35:37,583 --> 00:35:41,419 - Jack told everyone he drove her to the diphtheria clinic. 242 00:35:41,670 --> 00:35:44,172 When he came back, you said: 243 00:35:44,422 --> 00:35:49,927 "You saved me from humiliation. You are my dearest friend." 244 00:35:50,177 --> 00:35:52,847 - You promised not to tell. - I did not. 245 00:35:53,097 --> 00:35:55,974 - Then how did he know? - "Jack Slater I". 246 00:35:56,225 --> 00:35:59,936 - Won what? - No, the first Jack Slater. 247 00:36:00,187 --> 00:36:01,521 You told your dad? 248 00:36:01,771 --> 00:36:06,859 I told no one. I do not know this kid. 249 00:36:07,735 --> 00:36:13,073 He seems to know a lot about us. 250 00:36:13,324 --> 00:36:16,952 The state of New York has never heard of you, Mr. Madigan. 251 00:36:17,202 --> 00:36:18,662 - What is your name? - Danny Madigan. 252 00:36:18,912 --> 00:36:22,666 - Where are you from? - How did you get in my car? 253 00:36:24,709 --> 00:36:31,340 I fell off a bridge into your car. He saved my life. 254 00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:35,177 Truth at last. Now why were they after you? 255 00:36:35,427 --> 00:36:38,180 My cousin Frank found out some drug information. 256 00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:44,144 Do not believe what Vivaldi told him. 257 00:36:44,394 --> 00:36:48,564 - How do you know about Vivaldi? - I know what is going on. 258 00:36:48,815 --> 00:36:54,111 - If you would just listen... - I have the perfect listener for you. 259 00:36:54,361 --> 00:36:56,655 Meet your new partner. 260 00:36:56,905 --> 00:37:01,201 Oh no... Better to die. 261 00:37:01,451 --> 00:37:05,622 You will love it, Jack. We are perfect buddy material. 262 00:37:05,872 --> 00:37:09,959 I teach you to be vulnerable, you teach me to be brave. 263 00:37:10,209 --> 00:37:18,258 I am Jack Slater's new partner. We work together in this film. 264 00:37:18,550 --> 00:37:21,761 You know I am right. If this was the real world, - 265 00:37:22,012 --> 00:37:27,475 - they would not make us partners, but send me to a social worker. 266 00:37:27,725 --> 00:37:31,771 How do I know they tortured Frank and stashed him behind his door? 267 00:37:32,021 --> 00:37:35,482 I saw it on screen. This is a movie. 268 00:37:35,733 --> 00:37:39,111 You are very clever, and I would be roaring with laughter, - 269 00:37:39,361 --> 00:37:42,072 - but they killed my cousin. And that is a... 270 00:37:42,322 --> 00:37:46,951 "Big mistake." That is what you were going to say, right? 271 00:37:47,201 --> 00:37:52,957 - How would I know that? - No one likes a smart-ass. 272 00:37:53,207 --> 00:37:58,378 Then shoot me. Point your gun at my head and pull the trigger. 273 00:37:58,629 --> 00:38:03,299 Come on. Do it. I double dare you. 274 00:38:03,550 --> 00:38:08,554 But you are not going to do it. You do not kill kids in the movies. 275 00:38:08,805 --> 00:38:12,600 Because you are the good guy. 276 00:38:12,850 --> 00:38:16,770 You really believe you are inside a movie, do you not? 277 00:38:17,020 --> 00:38:23,860 You have ten minutes to prove it. And then I shoot you. 278 00:38:29,490 --> 00:38:32,660 - Schwarzenegger films? - Foreign films are in the back. 279 00:38:32,910 --> 00:38:40,542 - No, this guy is an action star. - Down the centre on the left. 280 00:38:46,631 --> 00:38:49,717 No, it is not possible. 281 00:38:49,967 --> 00:38:54,596 What? He is fantastic. It is his best performance ever. 282 00:38:54,847 --> 00:39:00,185 - It was you in that movie. - You were in a movie? 283 00:39:00,435 --> 00:39:06,190 Yes, called "Girl of My Dreams". It starred you. 284 00:39:06,441 --> 00:39:11,112 We had a very romantic scene together. 285 00:39:11,362 --> 00:39:16,033 - What is the store's phone number? - 5552310. 286 00:39:16,283 --> 00:39:18,827 What is your home number? 287 00:39:19,077 --> 00:39:22,205 You can give it to him. I am a police officer. 288 00:39:22,455 --> 00:39:25,792 - 5553812. - Amazing. 289 00:39:26,042 --> 00:39:30,713 I will bet that everyone has a 555 number. 290 00:39:30,963 --> 00:39:36,009 There can only be 9999 numbers that start with 555. 291 00:39:36,260 --> 00:39:41,514 - How many people live in L.A.? - Eight or nine million. 292 00:39:41,765 --> 00:39:44,851 That is why we have area codes. 293 00:39:45,101 --> 00:39:47,979 - Is this your kid? - Oh no. 294 00:39:48,229 --> 00:39:52,441 He is a mental patient that I am taking downtown. 295 00:39:52,691 --> 00:39:58,113 What about this girl? She is too attractive to work here. 296 00:39:58,363 --> 00:40:04,661 I agree. I think she should work with us. Undercover of course. 297 00:40:04,911 --> 00:40:08,706 The point is there are no unattractive women here. 298 00:40:08,956 --> 00:40:12,751 Where are the ordinary women? 299 00:40:13,002 --> 00:40:17,923 - Nowhere. This is a movie. - No, this is California. 300 00:40:18,173 --> 00:40:23,553 And thanks. It was sweet the way you got that girl's number. 301 00:40:23,803 --> 00:40:27,306 Okay, Mr. Non-believer. I will take you to the house - 302 00:40:27,557 --> 00:40:34,772 - where your cousin Frank was tortured. I have seen it on screen. 303 00:40:35,022 --> 00:40:36,523 It is like that one. 304 00:40:36,773 --> 00:40:41,736 But on the other side of the road. It has an ocean view. 305 00:40:41,987 --> 00:40:47,075 There is something you do not understand. 306 00:40:47,325 --> 00:40:55,666 This ticket is magic. Any second we will drive right into a theatre. 307 00:40:57,292 --> 00:41:00,504 Maybe I need to warm it up. 308 00:41:00,754 --> 00:41:05,592 Of course. My decoder ring has to warm up all the time. 309 00:41:05,842 --> 00:41:10,304 The house looked European. Like a postcard from Italy. 310 00:41:10,554 --> 00:41:12,098 Like that one. 311 00:41:12,348 --> 00:41:19,855 In fact, just like that one! The bad guys are in there. 312 00:41:20,063 --> 00:41:25,151 - I think you should wear this. - I have not earned it yet. 313 00:41:25,401 --> 00:41:31,532 You just solved the entire case and revolutionised police training. 314 00:41:31,782 --> 00:41:37,329 I have studied human character, terrorist psyche, fingerprints. 315 00:41:37,579 --> 00:41:42,709 I have taken courses in surveillance, hostage negotiation and psychology. 316 00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:45,461 And all I had to do was drive around the neighbourhood - 317 00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:50,091 - and point at a house and say: "The bad guys are in there." 318 00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:52,426 Trying to be funny? 319 00:41:52,676 --> 00:41:56,388 Yes. I am the famous comedian Arnold Braunschweiger. 320 00:41:56,638 --> 00:42:01,601 - Schwarzenegger. - Gesundheit. 321 00:42:14,071 --> 00:42:15,906 May I help you? 322 00:42:16,156 --> 00:42:20,619 Yes. Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house? 323 00:42:20,869 --> 00:42:29,335 We are out killing drug dealers. Do you have any in the house? 324 00:42:31,420 --> 00:42:35,883 Be ready for anything. 325 00:42:36,467 --> 00:42:38,593 Where are you going? 326 00:42:38,844 --> 00:42:43,139 I will be back. You did not know I would say that. 327 00:42:43,390 --> 00:42:47,602 - You always say that. - I do? 328 00:42:47,852 --> 00:42:54,900 Everybody waits for you to say it. It is like your calling card. 329 00:42:54,942 --> 00:42:58,487 You are interested in drug dealers? 330 00:42:58,737 --> 00:43:03,450 Jack, that is the henchman with the glass eye. 331 00:43:03,700 --> 00:43:09,121 - Are you a henchman? - No, I only go as far as lackey. 332 00:43:09,372 --> 00:43:12,958 - Anything else? - Take off your sunglasses. 333 00:43:13,209 --> 00:43:17,629 - Who is asking? - The Tin Man. 334 00:43:17,879 --> 00:43:23,009 - I suggest you hit the bricks. - No. They are the wrong colour. 335 00:43:23,259 --> 00:43:30,683 Oh, dear. Let us change them. Would arterial red suit you? 336 00:43:33,978 --> 00:43:40,317 Make no mistake. They are very well trained. 337 00:43:41,776 --> 00:43:48,616 I snap my fingers again and tomorrow you emerge from several canine rectum. 338 00:43:48,866 --> 00:43:52,786 Or you and Toto can go back to Oz. Questions? 339 00:43:53,037 --> 00:43:57,207 Yes. Two of them. 340 00:43:57,457 --> 00:44:01,127 Why am I wasting time on a putz like you - 341 00:44:01,378 --> 00:44:06,924 - when I could be doing something dangerous like rearranging my socks? 342 00:44:07,175 --> 00:44:16,183 And how will you snap your fingers after I rip off both your thumbs? 343 00:44:20,395 --> 00:44:24,190 Have a nice day. 344 00:44:28,653 --> 00:44:37,619 He had one with a bull's-eye earlier. He calls his boss a Sicilian schmuck. 345 00:44:51,132 --> 00:44:55,719 How did Slater find out? Will you tell me? 346 00:44:55,969 --> 00:45:01,057 I want him to join me, but he keeps going after the bad guys. 347 00:45:01,308 --> 00:45:04,894 Where is it written that I am a bad guy? 348 00:45:05,144 --> 00:45:12,151 Find out who talked and have him killed. Then, Slater. 349 00:45:12,776 --> 00:45:18,156 - What is it with you? - We should call off the funeral. 350 00:45:18,407 --> 00:45:22,661 Are you crazy? When I say blood bath, there is... 351 00:45:22,911 --> 00:45:26,164 A blood bath. 352 00:45:26,414 --> 00:45:33,254 I will find out more about Slater's short friend. 353 00:45:33,504 --> 00:45:38,800 - He must be guilty of something. - Yes, of acting like an asshole. 354 00:45:39,051 --> 00:45:42,137 If I arrest him, I have to arrest Congress. 355 00:45:42,387 --> 00:45:45,807 - Why did your park there? - In case my ex-wife is here. 356 00:45:46,057 --> 00:45:49,936 She is not. Her name was not in the credits. 357 00:45:50,186 --> 00:45:54,106 - Who does the doctor treat? - Patients. 358 00:45:54,356 --> 00:45:58,193 - What is the elbow of my jacket doing? - Wearing thin? 359 00:45:58,443 --> 00:46:01,446 Bingo! 360 00:46:01,696 --> 00:46:04,908 That was a stretch. 361 00:46:05,158 --> 00:46:10,705 - Do you drive this on the weekends? - No, that is my girl's car. 362 00:46:10,955 --> 00:46:13,374 Knock on the door. 363 00:46:13,624 --> 00:46:20,839 Your ex-wife is not home. Her name was not in the credits. 364 00:46:24,050 --> 00:46:25,426 Meredith? 365 00:46:25,677 --> 00:46:29,180 - I hope you mean Whitney. - Sorry. Whitney. 366 00:46:29,430 --> 00:46:34,143 You are not Skeezy, are you? 367 00:46:34,518 --> 00:46:37,312 Daddy! 368 00:46:37,563 --> 00:46:41,566 - Stop it, Daddy! - You have gained some weight. 369 00:46:41,816 --> 00:46:47,238 Hi. I am Danny Madigan and my life has not been long yet. 370 00:46:47,488 --> 00:46:52,827 But from now on, it will all be downhill. 371 00:46:53,077 --> 00:46:54,662 - You look wonderful. - Thank you. 372 00:46:54,912 --> 00:46:58,582 So, who is your friend? He is cute. 373 00:46:58,832 --> 00:47:02,419 No, he is hopelessly insane. 374 00:47:02,669 --> 00:47:05,672 He probably loved you in "Gone With the Wind". 375 00:47:05,922 --> 00:47:09,008 - This is her first movie. - Do you see? 376 00:47:09,258 --> 00:47:12,011 - Who is Skeezy? - It is a sorority thing. 377 00:47:12,261 --> 00:47:15,848 They assign you a freshman and when he comes by you kiss him. 378 00:47:16,098 --> 00:47:19,434 - Do you have to kiss him? - Dad, come on! 379 00:47:19,684 --> 00:47:26,941 If the phone rings for me, I will be out of the shower in less than an hour. 380 00:47:27,191 --> 00:47:30,403 What a cutie. 381 00:47:30,695 --> 00:47:35,282 That is old evidence. Counterfeit case. Looks real, right? 382 00:47:35,532 --> 00:47:41,955 It turns funny colours when you burn it. I used it for alimony. 383 00:47:49,086 --> 00:47:52,965 What is wrong? 384 00:47:56,426 --> 00:48:02,098 You do not happen to have a cigar, do you? 385 00:48:04,601 --> 00:48:09,480 "I will be back." I know. 386 00:48:26,996 --> 00:48:31,625 Dad! Dad! 387 00:49:03,780 --> 00:49:08,117 He would have been your age. 388 00:49:08,367 --> 00:49:16,959 I know. The Ripper pulled him down off the roof three years ago. 389 00:49:16,959 --> 00:49:23,882 - Your dad saw everything. - How do you know all that? 390 00:49:24,048 --> 00:49:28,845 Your dad is in the papers a lot. I like crime stories. 391 00:49:29,095 --> 00:49:34,933 - That is Skeezy. - I will get rid of him. 392 00:49:41,231 --> 00:49:44,609 Hello, Toto. 393 00:49:48,029 --> 00:49:52,283 There and there and there. 394 00:49:52,533 --> 00:49:56,829 Let go of me! 395 00:49:58,955 --> 00:50:06,212 - Good evening. Is Uncle Jack here? - He is off tracking a lead. 396 00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:10,257 Joe, would you teach her the virtue of silence? 397 00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:14,011 Benedict, if you harm a hair on her head... 398 00:50:14,261 --> 00:50:17,472 Stop! 399 00:50:32,736 --> 00:50:37,074 You were saying? 400 00:50:38,283 --> 00:50:45,456 Now, I believe it was Sherlock Holmes who said: 401 00:50:45,707 --> 00:50:48,960 "Eliminate all logical solutions to a problem - 402 00:50:49,210 --> 00:50:53,505 - and the illogical becomes invariably true." 403 00:50:53,756 --> 00:51:02,222 I know your name is Daniel Madigan, but how do you know mine? 404 00:51:03,556 --> 00:51:09,478 Slater showed me some mugshots. We made your face easy. 405 00:51:09,729 --> 00:51:14,441 Daniel Madigan from New York. A long way from home. 406 00:51:14,692 --> 00:51:17,819 - When did you get here? - Just. 407 00:51:18,070 --> 00:51:22,032 Then how do you know what I said on the terrace? 408 00:51:22,282 --> 00:51:24,242 I heard a recording. 409 00:51:24,492 --> 00:51:29,914 - Are there microphones in the statues? - You would not believe how many. 410 00:51:30,164 --> 00:51:35,252 - And the eye I was wearing? - I saw it. 411 00:51:35,502 --> 00:51:39,506 I saw it in a movie. There were micro-cameras in the statues. 412 00:51:39,756 --> 00:51:47,221 I have killed people smarter and younger than you. 413 00:51:53,811 --> 00:51:59,941 This is between you and Slater. Take the money in the desk - 414 00:52:00,192 --> 00:52:06,823 - and leave me and Meredith... Whitney, alone. 415 00:52:08,825 --> 00:52:12,912 Holy shit, boss. It looks like two K in here. 416 00:52:13,162 --> 00:52:18,125 Just a minute. Give it to me. 417 00:52:22,837 --> 00:52:32,012 These bills are marked, right? You tried to sucker me with them. 418 00:52:32,388 --> 00:52:35,057 Burn it. 419 00:52:35,307 --> 00:52:38,560 - Burn it? - Yes, burn it. 420 00:52:38,810 --> 00:52:44,899 Do not play games with grown-ups. You will get hurt. 421 00:53:05,251 --> 00:53:08,713 Big mistake. 422 00:53:25,311 --> 00:53:30,191 Great, is it not? I will hurt you a little bit. 423 00:53:30,441 --> 00:53:39,366 Freeze! Lose the guns or I redecorate in brain matter grey. Got it? 424 00:53:39,491 --> 00:53:44,746 Kill me and I will kill him. 425 00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:53,254 Leave it. Get the door. 426 00:54:00,594 --> 00:54:03,847 Boss? 427 00:54:42,340 --> 00:54:46,886 Do not give up your day job. 428 00:55:17,289 --> 00:55:20,876 Jack! 429 00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:28,382 Do not leave home without it. 430 00:55:36,223 --> 00:55:42,646 - Where are you going? - I have to catch the red-eye. 431 00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:55,866 I do not believe this. I am in the movie and... 432 00:55:56,116 --> 00:56:00,287 I am missing the action! 433 00:56:02,122 --> 00:56:06,125 Get the hell out of here! 434 00:56:20,555 --> 00:56:23,892 Back up the top! 435 00:56:29,772 --> 00:56:36,445 Next time we get thicker armour. Like a tank. 436 00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:58,423 Chicken it is. 437 00:57:06,764 --> 00:57:13,229 This is going to work. It is a movie. I am a good guy. 438 00:57:15,981 --> 00:57:26,199 I am a comedy sidekick. Oh, shit! It is not going to work! 439 00:57:51,389 --> 00:57:58,270 - I think I scared them. - You did great. Come on. 440 00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:00,480 Benedict has the ticket. 441 00:58:00,730 --> 00:58:06,819 Too bad. I wanted it for my collection. 442 00:59:42,866 --> 00:59:46,160 You are travelling through another dimension. 443 00:59:46,411 --> 00:59:51,832 My name is Skeezy. S-K-E-E-Z-Y. 444 01:00:38,333 --> 01:00:42,128 Say this. 445 01:00:44,172 --> 01:00:49,677 - Grow up. - Just say this one word. 446 01:00:49,927 --> 01:00:55,099 - Is it another movie proof? - Maybe. 447 01:00:55,349 --> 01:01:00,687 - I do not want to say it. - Say what? 448 01:01:00,937 --> 01:01:07,735 You cannot say it, because this movie is PG-13. Admit it. 449 01:01:07,985 --> 01:01:12,656 Slater. The guy with the missing eye, I saw his licence plate. 450 01:01:12,907 --> 01:01:16,410 Good for you. 451 01:01:17,619 --> 01:01:24,751 - You mean the guy with the glass eye? - No, when he ran it was missing. 452 01:01:25,001 --> 01:01:28,921 It has got words. 453 01:01:29,255 --> 01:01:33,759 "Vengeance is..." 454 01:01:34,009 --> 01:01:36,303 No! 455 01:01:49,232 --> 01:01:53,027 Did you catch that? 456 01:01:59,282 --> 01:02:01,201 Some of it may be English. 457 01:02:01,451 --> 01:02:03,870 See if this is clear enough: 458 01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:09,584 Give me your badge! And you will not get it back. 459 01:02:17,466 --> 01:02:25,181 Wohlschläger, team up with the digitalised Humphrey Bogart. 460 01:02:34,523 --> 01:02:37,651 Are you making some changes? 461 01:02:37,901 --> 01:02:42,864 Why not come and work the funeral with me? I would not miss it. 462 01:02:43,114 --> 01:02:48,411 Torelli has spent a bundle. He has a helicopter circling the building. 463 01:02:48,661 --> 01:02:52,331 A rooftop funeral in Long Beach. How is that for taste? 464 01:02:52,581 --> 01:02:56,502 - Who died? - Leo the Fart. Shot yesterday. 465 01:02:56,752 --> 01:02:59,421 Somebody tried for Torelli and missed. 466 01:02:59,671 --> 01:03:05,260 Leo was tough. Only he could not sneak up on you. 467 01:03:05,510 --> 01:03:12,183 If you change your mind, I will be in front of the hotel. 468 01:03:27,989 --> 01:03:33,494 - Where are we, anyway? - Home. 469 01:03:46,506 --> 01:03:48,841 How did you know there was a guy in there? 470 01:03:49,091 --> 01:03:54,305 There always is. It costs me a fortune in closet doors. 471 01:03:54,555 --> 01:03:57,683 Like in "Slater II - The Sagittarius Strangler". 472 01:03:57,933 --> 01:04:02,771 Soon you will meet the Madigan Strangler. I just got fired. 473 01:04:03,021 --> 01:04:09,569 What you find so entertaining is my life. I am not even a cop anymore. 474 01:04:09,819 --> 01:04:15,324 He only took your badge, because you destroyed more of the city than usual. 475 01:04:15,574 --> 01:04:21,955 Jack, you are everybody's hero. It will all be okay again. Trust me. 476 01:04:22,205 --> 01:04:29,795 No, Danny. It is getting harder. I only wanted to be a decent cop. 477 01:04:30,046 --> 01:04:34,091 But I kept getting involved in crazy adventures. 478 01:04:34,341 --> 01:04:38,136 But the craziest part is, I kept surviving. 479 01:04:38,387 --> 01:04:44,684 These are the sequels. They have to get harder. 480 01:04:44,851 --> 01:04:48,938 Look on the good side. You have a great daughter. 481 01:04:49,188 --> 01:04:53,359 And your ex-wife would not call if she did not want you back. 482 01:04:53,609 --> 01:04:57,821 Do you think she cannot tell the real voice from a taped one? 483 01:04:58,071 --> 01:05:05,495 I pay a cashier to call me at work, so the guys think I have a life. 484 01:05:05,745 --> 01:05:11,167 My ex-wife is happily remarried. She never calls. 485 01:05:11,417 --> 01:05:16,588 And Whitney. Why can she not be a normal teenager? 486 01:05:16,838 --> 01:05:21,509 On prom night she stays home to field strip an AK-47. 487 01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:28,266 She will die a young maid. I am going to buy it soon, too. 488 01:05:28,516 --> 01:05:34,480 No way. You cannot die until the grosses go down. 489 01:05:34,730 --> 01:05:38,775 Vivaldi said something would happen at a funeral. 490 01:05:39,026 --> 01:05:42,320 We should look into this funeral. 491 01:05:42,570 --> 01:05:44,197 Whatever. 492 01:05:44,447 --> 01:05:48,534 Jack, it is a funeral for a guy named Fart. 493 01:05:48,784 --> 01:05:50,328 Funeral? 494 01:05:50,578 --> 01:05:57,251 Someone tried to kill Torelli, but hit Leo the Fart instead, right? 495 01:05:57,501 --> 01:06:05,174 Wrong. Did Benedict take the shot? Most likely. Would he miss? No way. 496 01:06:05,425 --> 01:06:10,805 - Unless he wanted to miss. - Did he mean to miss? Why? 497 01:06:11,055 --> 01:06:15,934 Because Leo the Fart was very, very fat. Get it? 498 01:06:16,185 --> 01:06:17,603 No, I do not. 499 01:06:17,853 --> 01:06:22,315 They broke in, cut Leo open and stuffed him with T.N.T. 500 01:06:22,565 --> 01:06:28,821 He goes off at the funeral and takes out the whole Torelli mob. 501 01:06:29,071 --> 01:06:34,201 That is what this is all about. Vivaldi will blow up that funeral. 502 01:06:34,451 --> 01:06:39,039 It would not be a bomb. We have had a dozen explosions in this movie. 503 01:06:39,289 --> 01:06:42,459 Do not start that again. 504 01:06:42,709 --> 01:06:45,128 - Nerve gas! - What are you talking about? 505 01:06:45,378 --> 01:06:49,340 Some nerve gas has been stolen from military trucks. 506 01:06:49,590 --> 01:06:54,678 They could have put it inside him. Do you know what that means? 507 01:06:54,928 --> 01:07:00,183 Leo the Fart will pass gas one more time. 508 01:07:12,987 --> 01:07:14,446 Mr. Torelli. 509 01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:19,993 I hope it is all right I am here. I do not want to be a fourth wheel. 510 01:07:20,243 --> 01:07:24,038 Fifth wheel. 511 01:07:25,415 --> 01:07:33,339 Did you hear that, Benedict? Family. Go pay your respects. 512 01:08:06,369 --> 01:08:09,163 - Stay in the car. - No, I am coming with you. 513 01:08:09,413 --> 01:08:11,707 Let us say this is a movie. 514 01:08:11,957 --> 01:08:17,045 If someone says, "Stay in the car", and the guy does not, what happens? 515 01:08:17,296 --> 01:08:19,423 - He saves the day. - Or gets killed. 516 01:08:19,673 --> 01:08:22,133 Good point. I will stay. 517 01:08:22,384 --> 01:08:26,679 Wait a minute! What if that gets me killed? 518 01:08:26,929 --> 01:08:32,518 There is a gun in the glove compartment. 519 01:08:35,187 --> 01:08:39,107 - Practice! - Makes perfect. 520 01:08:41,026 --> 01:08:44,946 The Fart is a bomb to take out the Torelli mob. 521 01:08:45,196 --> 01:08:53,120 That explains the mortuary break in. Let us use the service entrance. 522 01:08:55,747 --> 01:08:59,501 - Who do you work for, John? - What do you mean? 523 01:08:59,751 --> 01:09:05,965 We both know there is no side entrance to this hotel. 524 01:09:07,008 --> 01:09:13,847 I am sorry, Jack. I did not want it to go down this way. 525 01:09:14,139 --> 01:09:19,311 Danny said not to trust you. He said you killed Moe Zart. 526 01:09:19,561 --> 01:09:23,523 - Moe who? - Zart. 527 01:09:24,065 --> 01:09:26,984 I kill many people. I cannot remember them all. 528 01:09:27,235 --> 01:09:31,030 How do you get to Carnegie Hall? 529 01:09:31,280 --> 01:09:34,992 In a bodybag if you do not drop that. 530 01:09:35,242 --> 01:09:37,744 That is doubtful, kid. 531 01:09:37,995 --> 01:09:42,040 Real doubtful. 532 01:09:43,708 --> 01:09:48,880 Thank you for the fingerprints. You are about to murder Jack Slater. 533 01:09:49,130 --> 01:09:53,175 Chain yourself to that pipe. 534 01:09:53,425 --> 01:09:57,387 These drug guys have more money than the government. 535 01:09:57,638 --> 01:10:02,350 So you cut a deal with a scumbag like Vivaldi. 536 01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:08,564 Vivaldi made up with Torelli, but it was a phoney. He will destroy him. 537 01:10:08,814 --> 01:10:13,611 In exchange for leaving him alone, he gives me a profit percentage. 538 01:10:13,861 --> 01:10:16,655 I will be rich, Jack. You will be dead, but... 539 01:10:16,905 --> 01:10:18,949 Freeze! 540 01:10:19,199 --> 01:10:21,576 Toss me the cuffs. 541 01:10:21,826 --> 01:10:27,373 You idiot. You made the classic movie mistake. Do not explain so much. 542 01:10:27,623 --> 01:10:33,045 You had to get in a last few words. Had you fired, you would have won. 543 01:10:33,295 --> 01:10:37,341 But you are the typical villain. Dumb. 544 01:10:37,591 --> 01:10:41,177 You are no genius yourself, kid. 545 01:10:41,428 --> 01:10:46,849 - The Fart goes off in 7 minutes. - Get my car. 546 01:10:47,100 --> 01:10:51,103 Move it. 547 01:10:52,354 --> 01:11:01,905 I would love to stay and watch, but I have to establish my alibi. 548 01:11:02,322 --> 01:11:05,199 Arrivederci. 549 01:11:05,450 --> 01:11:07,326 Did you want to save the day? 550 01:11:07,577 --> 01:11:12,081 - You are not doing anything. - I would steal your thunder. 551 01:11:12,331 --> 01:11:17,878 No, you stay here and make sure everything goes as planned. 552 01:11:18,128 --> 01:11:25,134 You have had Slater in front of the 8-ball before, but you screwed it up. 553 01:11:28,930 --> 01:11:32,892 That is "behind" the 8-ball. You moron. 554 01:11:33,142 --> 01:11:40,732 Somebody once told me I talk too much. No more words. 555 01:11:41,358 --> 01:11:46,738 - Whiskers! Where have you been? - Sorry, Jack. Fur ball problem. 556 01:11:46,988 --> 01:11:51,283 Seal off the area. There will be a chemical explosion in 5 minutes. 557 01:11:51,534 --> 01:11:58,081 - Thanks, Whiskers. I owe you one. - Forget it. You have often saved me. 558 01:12:00,417 --> 01:12:05,797 Do you see the hook of that crane? Get it up on the roof in 2 minutes. 559 01:12:06,047 --> 01:12:10,051 How do I do that? 560 01:12:34,656 --> 01:12:40,412 Help me move that crane! I have to get it to the roof! 561 01:12:40,662 --> 01:12:45,333 Wait! You have to work this thing! 562 01:12:53,591 --> 01:12:57,886 I cannot even drive. 563 01:13:27,622 --> 01:13:31,834 Pardon me. 564 01:13:41,843 --> 01:13:47,140 He was a good man. A flatulent man. 565 01:13:49,058 --> 01:13:53,729 Do you hear this? Help me! Get me out of here! 566 01:13:53,979 --> 01:13:58,817 My God! This man is not dead! 567 01:14:06,115 --> 01:14:09,619 Get out of the way! This man needs a doctor! 568 01:14:09,869 --> 01:14:12,830 - This man needs a doctor! - I am a doctor. 569 01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:18,168 Are you a doctor? Check his chin. 570 01:14:18,377 --> 01:14:21,838 The doctor has fainted. Can somebody help this man? 571 01:14:22,088 --> 01:14:28,886 I will take the corpse... The patient... Look, an elephant! 572 01:14:34,350 --> 01:14:39,187 Do not shoot! He will drop Leo! 573 01:15:00,415 --> 01:15:03,585 Do not shoot! 574 01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:14,525 Oh, shit! 575 01:17:00,442 --> 01:17:04,529 That is a no-fly zone, fellow. 576 01:17:49,945 --> 01:17:57,202 Danny! He is ticking! Move the crane as fast as you can! 577 01:18:18,180 --> 01:18:23,226 Danny, stop the crane now! 578 01:18:23,476 --> 01:18:28,231 Drop! Go, go, go! 579 01:18:31,525 --> 01:18:35,737 Drop, you gas bag! 580 01:18:55,714 --> 01:19:00,302 Everybody out of here! 581 01:19:38,712 --> 01:19:42,632 Silent but deadly. 582 01:19:44,717 --> 01:19:50,473 - Bring the car around. - The helicopter landed on it. 583 01:19:50,723 --> 01:19:52,850 I hate when that happens. 584 01:19:53,100 --> 01:19:58,313 Tar actually sticks to some people. 585 01:20:06,404 --> 01:20:10,533 Hey, Dad! I thought you could use some clothes. 586 01:20:10,783 --> 01:20:12,159 Thank you, honey. 587 01:20:12,409 --> 01:20:21,251 - Is this not a little convenient? - You always said this was a movie. 588 01:20:24,712 --> 01:20:28,341 So how did it go? 589 01:20:29,550 --> 01:20:33,262 How did it go? 590 01:20:34,888 --> 01:20:41,853 I am dying out here. I want to know how it went. 591 01:20:47,066 --> 01:20:50,027 How did it went? 592 01:20:50,277 --> 01:20:52,154 Splendid. 593 01:20:52,404 --> 01:20:54,948 What? 594 01:20:55,199 --> 01:20:57,326 It went splendidly. 595 01:20:57,576 --> 01:21:04,541 I cannot hear you. I do not want to miss a thing. 596 01:21:04,582 --> 01:21:08,085 Benedict, get your stuff. Was it beautiful? 597 01:21:08,336 --> 01:21:10,546 Perfect in every detail. 598 01:21:10,796 --> 01:21:13,757 Were the gas tanks okay? 599 01:21:14,008 --> 01:21:17,386 Like clockwork. You should have been there. 600 01:21:17,636 --> 01:21:22,265 Men, women and children dropping left and right. 601 01:21:22,515 --> 01:21:27,812 Wait, I want to enjoy it all. Come on, tell me. 602 01:21:28,062 --> 01:21:33,275 They were writhing and screaming and leaping to their doom to escape. 603 01:21:33,525 --> 01:21:36,320 - Really? - No, I am lying. 604 01:21:36,570 --> 01:21:42,992 It was a complete balls-up, and my day has been terrible thanks to you. 605 01:21:43,243 --> 01:21:50,374 What is this? You were my friend and now you turn a 360 on me. 606 01:21:50,624 --> 01:21:55,838 180, you stupid spaghetti-slurping cretin. 607 01:21:56,088 --> 01:22:02,677 If I did a 360, I would end up back where I started! 608 01:22:03,553 --> 01:22:06,806 Trust me. 609 01:22:08,307 --> 01:22:14,396 If that turd Daniel Madigan can move through parallel worlds, so can I. 610 01:22:14,646 --> 01:22:22,946 In, steal whatever I want, and out again. Impossible to catch. 611 01:22:23,196 --> 01:22:26,824 If God was a villain - 612 01:22:27,075 --> 01:22:30,411 - he would be me. 613 01:22:30,661 --> 01:22:37,501 - You want me to vacuum now? - No. But the pool needs attention. 614 01:22:37,751 --> 01:22:41,046 Very good. 615 01:22:53,974 --> 01:22:58,061 Do not move. 616 01:22:58,812 --> 01:23:05,443 - All right, I will go quietly. - The hell you will. 617 01:23:10,781 --> 01:23:14,368 That was for blowing up my cousin Frank's house. 618 01:23:14,618 --> 01:23:20,790 And this is for blowing up my ex-wife's house. 619 01:23:20,790 --> 01:23:26,337 But this is for my daughter's black eye! 620 01:23:28,798 --> 01:23:32,801 Usually when I do that, it leaves a hole. 621 01:23:33,052 --> 01:23:38,223 The ticket. Jack, he has got the ticket! 622 01:23:38,473 --> 01:23:43,353 It is the key to everything. It is magic. See? 623 01:23:43,603 --> 01:23:50,943 He has gone over to my world. The door must still be open. Come on! 624 01:23:51,193 --> 01:23:54,780 I am not worried that you are crazy anymore. 625 01:23:55,030 --> 01:24:01,202 I am worried that you are right. But if I go, how do I get back? 626 01:24:01,453 --> 01:24:09,252 You cannot go through life nit-picking everything. Come on! 627 01:24:11,587 --> 01:24:15,340 To hell with it. 628 01:24:19,553 --> 01:24:23,848 There was nothing to it. 629 01:24:24,015 --> 01:24:29,854 - We are still here. - Are you sure? Look. 630 01:24:32,606 --> 01:24:35,567 Quickly! 631 01:24:36,527 --> 01:24:41,031 - I want to see about Nick. - No time. 632 01:24:42,699 --> 01:24:44,450 What the hell? 633 01:24:44,701 --> 01:24:48,079 - We are in New York. - It all makes sense. 634 01:24:48,329 --> 01:24:51,999 Actually, it makes no sense, but I will explain. Later. 635 01:24:52,249 --> 01:24:57,504 Just be careful. Things are different here. 636 01:24:58,714 --> 01:25:00,090 Get out! 637 01:25:00,340 --> 01:25:04,302 Do not get feisty. The car was a piece of junk anyway. 638 01:25:04,552 --> 01:25:08,181 Drive, bonehead! 639 01:25:09,181 --> 01:25:14,686 Here is another explosion for your movie. 640 01:25:18,523 --> 01:25:22,277 Not one word. 641 01:25:31,869 --> 01:25:35,581 - My hand hurts. - Things are different here. 642 01:25:35,831 --> 01:25:38,792 Smash a window with your hand and it gets hurt. 643 01:25:39,042 --> 01:25:44,297 Great. Could you not have told me earlier? 644 01:25:46,299 --> 01:25:52,304 - The taxis must be bulletproof. - We have to get the ticket. 645 01:26:10,196 --> 01:26:14,658 No way, Slater. Listen to me. It will not work. 646 01:26:14,908 --> 01:26:17,703 You cannot play chicken in real life. You will crash. 647 01:26:17,953 --> 01:26:20,080 Out of the car, amigo. 648 01:26:20,330 --> 01:26:23,792 This is not the movies. You have to reload guns... 649 01:26:24,042 --> 01:26:28,045 - Go, Danny! Get out! - Car crashes can kill you! 650 01:26:28,296 --> 01:26:33,926 You are going to die! Jack!! 651 01:26:34,134 --> 01:26:37,804 What did I do? 652 01:26:43,226 --> 01:26:47,021 No, please... 653 01:26:55,821 --> 01:26:57,656 Damn, that hurt. 654 01:26:57,906 --> 01:27:00,825 You are lucky to be alive, you dumb idiot! 655 01:27:01,076 --> 01:27:09,208 '89 Mercury Sable, standard air bag. Checker cab, no air bag. Who is dumb? 656 01:27:09,458 --> 01:27:15,589 - Just make sure they are dead. - Give me a break. They are dead. 657 01:27:15,839 --> 01:27:19,342 They always look dead. In "Die Hard" a guy is hung - 658 01:27:19,593 --> 01:27:24,639 - and at the end of the movie, he comes back. 659 01:27:24,889 --> 01:27:32,688 All right. Make sure to cover me. He may have a windshield wiper. 660 01:27:36,149 --> 01:27:40,820 Maybe he used the ticket. 661 01:27:41,237 --> 01:27:46,117 Maybe it is on all the time now. 662 01:27:58,253 --> 01:28:01,214 What is this place? 663 01:28:01,464 --> 01:28:05,551 Where am I now? 664 01:28:06,302 --> 01:28:11,849 Danny, do you have a place I can sit down? 665 01:28:11,891 --> 01:28:16,562 Yes. Come on. 666 01:28:16,728 --> 01:28:18,772 Nick! 667 01:28:19,022 --> 01:28:23,068 Danny, I was so worried. Are you okay? 668 01:28:23,318 --> 01:28:25,403 Did you see what happened? 669 01:28:25,653 --> 01:28:31,033 No, I slept in here until I woke up at 2 a.m. I figured you had gone home. 670 01:28:31,283 --> 01:28:34,828 No, I was in the movie! 671 01:28:35,079 --> 01:28:39,207 I am getting up in the years. Define "in". 672 01:28:39,458 --> 01:28:45,088 Whitney kissed me! I drove a crane and dropped Leo the Fart in a tar pit! 673 01:28:45,338 --> 01:28:51,552 I was with Jack Slater every step of the way! 674 01:28:52,928 --> 01:28:56,223 Oh, my God... 675 01:28:56,890 --> 01:29:00,018 The ticket works? 676 01:29:00,268 --> 01:29:08,025 All this time I never used it, because I was too frightened. 677 01:29:08,276 --> 01:29:12,655 But it is not too late. I can still go visit. 678 01:29:12,905 --> 01:29:20,120 Garbo in "Camille". Jean Harlow. Boy, I had a crush. 679 01:29:20,370 --> 01:29:24,666 Monroe in "Bus Stop". 680 01:29:24,791 --> 01:29:30,671 Forgive me for going on, sir. I admire your work greatly, too. 681 01:29:30,921 --> 01:29:37,010 - Nick, it is not who you think. - You mean, it is...? 682 01:29:37,261 --> 01:29:40,764 This is a wonderful moment, Mr. Slater. 683 01:29:41,014 --> 01:29:45,601 I have never met a fictional character before. 684 01:29:45,852 --> 01:29:49,897 How new and exciting this must all be for you. 685 01:29:50,147 --> 01:29:53,525 I have just found out I am imaginary. 686 01:29:53,776 --> 01:29:56,904 How would you like to have been made up? 687 01:29:57,154 --> 01:30:04,994 Your job, your marriage, your kids. Let us push his son off the building. 688 01:30:05,244 --> 01:30:10,541 You will have eternal nightmares, but you are fictional, so who cares? 689 01:30:10,791 --> 01:30:16,964 I do not find it new and exciting that my whole life is a damn movie. 690 01:30:17,214 --> 01:30:22,969 You are young and impressionable. There are worse things than movies. 691 01:30:23,219 --> 01:30:29,350 Politicians, wars, forest fires. Famine, plague. 692 01:30:29,600 --> 01:30:34,480 - Sickness, pain, warts, politicians. - You have already mentioned them. 693 01:30:34,730 --> 01:30:39,276 I know. They are twice as bad as anything else. 694 01:30:39,526 --> 01:30:45,865 Most of my life has been movies, too. But that is all over for me now. 695 01:30:46,115 --> 01:30:50,453 The theatre is shut. Soon it is the wrecking ball. 696 01:30:50,703 --> 01:30:56,375 But now I have a new chance. Can I have the ticket back? 697 01:30:56,792 --> 01:31:01,838 We have one little... hiccup. 698 01:31:02,088 --> 01:31:07,218 - What do you mean? - Benedict has the ticket. 699 01:31:07,468 --> 01:31:12,514 The madman with the glass eye? 700 01:31:13,766 --> 01:31:17,602 - How are you getting back? - Good question. 701 01:31:17,853 --> 01:31:23,983 But I would not want to nit-pick, right, Danny? 702 01:31:25,485 --> 01:31:29,739 Just follow my lead. 703 01:31:32,700 --> 01:31:36,620 Where have you been? Do you know what time it is? 704 01:31:36,870 --> 01:31:40,040 The police call, you are nowhere to be found... 705 01:31:40,290 --> 01:31:44,961 - Mom, I am sorry, okay? - "Okay"? 706 01:31:45,211 --> 01:31:50,966 There are kids with guns everywhere and that is all you have to say? 707 01:31:51,217 --> 01:31:55,220 - Get in here! - Mom, wait. 708 01:31:55,471 --> 01:32:02,310 You always say you wish I had more friends. Well... 709 01:32:07,356 --> 01:32:14,029 Hello, Mrs. Madigan. Arnold Braunschweiger. 710 01:32:32,838 --> 01:32:38,135 Sweetheart, do you want to have a party? 711 01:32:39,553 --> 01:32:44,682 - How old are you? - Forget it. 712 01:32:53,232 --> 01:32:58,653 Take his shoes, man! 713 01:33:02,615 --> 01:33:06,953 Take his shoes? 714 01:33:29,223 --> 01:33:33,769 No screams. 715 01:33:34,269 --> 01:33:38,774 No sirens. 716 01:33:41,234 --> 01:33:44,195 Excuse me! 717 01:33:44,445 --> 01:33:48,032 Excuse me. 718 01:33:48,282 --> 01:33:53,245 I am sorry to bother you. Would you help me test a theory? 719 01:33:53,495 --> 01:33:59,000 - Sure. What can I do for you? - Well... 720 01:34:16,808 --> 01:34:25,566 Hello? I have just shot somebody. I did it on purpose. 721 01:34:28,402 --> 01:34:34,450 I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess. 722 01:34:34,700 --> 01:34:39,496 Shut up down there! 723 01:34:52,299 --> 01:35:00,724 You look uncannily like him, only you are much more intelligent. 724 01:35:00,974 --> 01:35:05,478 Good morning, good afternoon. What kind of eggs do you want? 725 01:35:05,728 --> 01:35:09,106 Scrambled. Have you guys been up all night? 726 01:35:09,357 --> 01:35:11,317 Why did you not tell me Jack was a cop - 727 01:35:11,567 --> 01:35:17,197 - and that you spent the night looking at mug shots? 728 01:35:17,447 --> 01:35:19,741 Why did you not tell me you had no friends? 729 01:35:19,991 --> 01:35:28,124 And why do you go to the movies at night and make your mother worried? 730 01:35:29,125 --> 01:35:36,840 - You have turned him into a wimp. - I think not. Toast? 731 01:35:37,090 --> 01:35:44,472 No thanks. Jack, are you okay? 732 01:35:44,556 --> 01:35:50,436 We talked. I have never just talked to a woman before. It is neat. 733 01:35:50,686 --> 01:35:53,814 Neat? 734 01:35:54,064 --> 01:35:58,693 Wimp. Next they will be talking about sex. 735 01:35:58,944 --> 01:36:02,405 Me and Jack are going out. I am helping him on a case. 736 01:36:02,655 --> 01:36:10,287 Oh, no. Your licence to kill has expired. Come and eat some eggs. 737 01:36:10,538 --> 01:36:17,002 I have to help. I am the only witness. Like in that Harrison Ford movie. 738 01:36:17,252 --> 01:36:19,838 There is no comparison. 739 01:36:20,088 --> 01:36:23,341 - We are not Jewish. - Amish. 740 01:36:23,591 --> 01:36:27,095 Irene, do not worry. 741 01:36:27,345 --> 01:36:32,266 There are 8 million in the city and I am good at catching people. 742 01:36:32,516 --> 01:36:38,688 And the future of the world may be at stake... 743 01:36:39,022 --> 01:36:43,067 Can you turn this up? 744 01:36:45,737 --> 01:36:48,781 - What is that? - Mozart. 745 01:36:49,031 --> 01:36:55,370 - The guy Practice killed? - That is right, Jack. 746 01:36:55,621 --> 01:36:59,875 Do you like classical music? 747 01:37:00,333 --> 01:37:06,255 I do not know. I think I will. 748 01:37:14,722 --> 01:37:18,892 - Did you say who you really were? - Yes. A cop from L.A. 749 01:37:19,142 --> 01:37:25,189 - I mean really. - Real enough. For now. 750 01:37:25,982 --> 01:37:30,403 - Are you going to catch him? - I always catch everybody. 751 01:37:30,653 --> 01:37:33,322 By spotting him from up here? 752 01:37:33,572 --> 01:37:39,619 Give me a break. It is the first time I have been anyplace real. 753 01:37:39,870 --> 01:37:47,585 This ticket, it worked in one movie. Could Benedict use it again? 754 01:37:47,835 --> 01:37:52,423 On other movies? Why would he do that? 755 01:37:52,673 --> 01:37:57,886 I do not know. But it is a start. 756 01:37:58,136 --> 01:38:03,600 The possibilities are limitless. But I have realised - 757 01:38:03,850 --> 01:38:08,145 - that freedom would elude me until Jack Slater was, - 758 01:38:08,396 --> 01:38:11,690 - forgive the pun, taken out of the picture. 759 01:38:11,941 --> 01:38:18,530 And I thought you might be inclined to help. 760 01:38:18,780 --> 01:38:24,285 This must all be strange to you. But if you do this right, - 761 01:38:24,535 --> 01:38:29,582 - the world is your oyster. Trust me. 762 01:38:29,832 --> 01:38:37,547 You will be free to do whatever you want beyond your wildest dreams. 763 01:38:37,798 --> 01:38:44,929 And you will never have to go back to this film again. 764 01:38:45,221 --> 01:38:47,348 You have never heard of this man, - 765 01:38:47,598 --> 01:38:53,729 - but his actual name is Arnold Schwarzenegger. 766 01:38:53,979 --> 01:38:59,109 There are a thousand theatres and we have looked for 5 hours. 767 01:38:59,359 --> 01:39:02,862 - We are close to catching him. - No, to catching pneumonia. 768 01:39:03,113 --> 01:39:08,242 In my world they just leave clues. Or they show up and kidnap me. 769 01:39:08,492 --> 01:39:13,330 That stuff does not happen here, because this world stinks! 770 01:39:13,580 --> 01:39:19,211 The world is what you make of it. You can give up and go home. 771 01:39:19,461 --> 01:39:27,510 - You believed in me in the movies. - But here you are just... 772 01:39:27,510 --> 01:39:31,514 Just what? 773 01:39:48,946 --> 01:39:54,118 Jack, there he is! 774 01:40:16,013 --> 01:40:18,890 Are you nuts?! 775 01:40:19,516 --> 01:40:22,185 - You crazy asshole! - He is just a cabbie! 776 01:40:22,435 --> 01:40:26,898 In the movies they say "Make my day" or "I am your worst nightmare". 777 01:40:27,148 --> 01:40:32,945 "Rubber-baby-buggy-bumpers". You did not know I would say that! 778 01:40:33,195 --> 01:40:38,325 - Where did he go? - He was reading a paper. 779 01:40:39,743 --> 01:40:47,583 - He has been going to the movies. - That is not the half of it. 780 01:40:48,167 --> 01:40:51,545 We are live from New York. 781 01:40:51,795 --> 01:40:57,050 We are moments away from the premiere of "Jack Slater IV". 782 01:40:57,301 --> 01:41:00,762 And here is the man they have come to see. 783 01:41:01,012 --> 01:41:07,977 It is Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver. 784 01:41:08,227 --> 01:41:10,896 - Good to see you. - Are you a big fan of Slater? 785 01:41:11,147 --> 01:41:15,400 I have enjoyed it. It was just beautiful. 786 01:41:15,651 --> 01:41:21,031 The National Enquirer. Do not talk to them. 787 01:41:23,658 --> 01:41:29,080 Do not plug the restaurants. I hate that. It is so tacky. 788 01:41:29,330 --> 01:41:31,707 - Why go to the movies? - To get help. 789 01:41:31,957 --> 01:41:35,502 Benedict can do anything. But we know who he is. 790 01:41:35,752 --> 01:41:38,463 - So he must take us out. - He cannot get to you. 791 01:41:38,713 --> 01:41:43,009 He does not have to. All he has to do is get to him. 792 01:41:43,259 --> 01:41:47,972 - Benedict will kill Schwarzenegger. - Who is Slater. 793 01:41:48,222 --> 01:41:50,850 Bingo! 794 01:41:51,100 --> 01:41:57,898 In this movie we only kill 48 people. In the last one we killed 119. 795 01:41:58,148 --> 01:42:04,654 But we make up for it with a good story, emotions, depth, dimensions. 796 01:42:04,904 --> 01:42:09,408 There are thousands here tonight and millions around the world. 797 01:42:09,659 --> 01:42:14,705 - I directed and produced it. - This guy is a success story. 798 01:42:14,955 --> 01:42:17,457 - Only in America. - Only in Hollywood. 799 01:42:17,708 --> 01:42:21,920 And at Planet Hollywood we have some incredible memorabilia. 800 01:42:22,170 --> 01:42:25,882 It is absolutely fabulous... 801 01:42:26,132 --> 01:42:31,137 You embarrassed me. How could you do that? 802 01:42:31,387 --> 01:42:36,058 Chris, it is the Ripper from "Jack Slater III". Scary. 803 01:42:36,308 --> 01:42:40,854 - Let us "axe" him a question. - Look at this method villain. 804 01:42:41,104 --> 01:42:45,608 Rip, what brings you here? 805 01:42:46,567 --> 01:42:51,780 - I thought I might kill someone. - You should start with your designer. 806 01:42:52,031 --> 01:42:57,286 Nobody wants to miss out. The notables just keep coming. 807 01:42:57,536 --> 01:43:02,248 Excuse me, sir. Could I see your invitation? 808 01:43:02,499 --> 01:43:07,628 Pete, it is okay. I am his agent. Jesus Christ, Tom. Come here. 809 01:43:07,879 --> 01:43:14,676 It is Tom Noonan, the actor who played the Ripper. 810 01:43:14,927 --> 01:43:17,971 Are you nuts? Do you want to play axe killers for ever? 811 01:43:18,221 --> 01:43:23,226 I need the manager's office for 10 minutes. Here is 50 bucks. 812 01:43:23,476 --> 01:43:26,354 What do you think Slater says about America? 813 01:43:26,604 --> 01:43:30,316 I do not want to hear it. I am not a big fan of Arnold. 814 01:43:30,566 --> 01:43:36,947 She is. Arnold turns her on. I just want to be there when it happens. 815 01:43:37,197 --> 01:43:41,618 Good, you have the props, too. Whip out a Hibachi - 816 01:43:41,868 --> 01:43:47,165 - and we can make some shish-kebab. I will rent you a tuxedo. 817 01:43:47,415 --> 01:43:51,710 Tell him it is me. 818 01:43:51,961 --> 01:43:57,090 Did Nicholson go to the premiere of "Batman" dressed as the Joker? No. 819 01:43:57,341 --> 01:44:04,889 Murray, get me your brother-in-law. Yes, it is important. 820 01:44:13,772 --> 01:44:19,069 - What do you think about this? - I would never miss the premiere. 821 01:44:19,319 --> 01:44:23,656 Where am I sitting? Where? Where am "I" sitting? 822 01:44:23,907 --> 01:44:29,745 There are two balconies. I believe you are in the lower one. 823 01:44:29,995 --> 01:44:34,750 You stay here. And be careful. 824 01:44:43,508 --> 01:44:50,389 Someone should be checking the other balcony. Definitely. 825 01:44:58,772 --> 01:45:06,195 Arnold! The deal is done, right? "Slater V". The soundtrack. 826 01:45:47,692 --> 01:45:49,652 I will be... 827 01:45:49,902 --> 01:45:56,867 Jack, it is the Ripper! He has brought back the Ripper! 828 01:45:57,117 --> 01:46:01,746 Benedict has brought back the Ripper! 829 01:46:02,789 --> 01:46:06,209 Everybody down! 830 01:46:11,130 --> 01:46:13,716 Get off me! 831 01:46:20,555 --> 01:46:23,558 Get the hell off me. 832 01:46:24,767 --> 01:46:27,854 I should be informed when there is to be a stunt. 833 01:46:28,104 --> 01:46:32,691 You are the best look-alike I have seen. 834 01:46:45,745 --> 01:46:50,374 If you get to L.A., call my office. We can get you jobs... 835 01:46:50,624 --> 01:46:54,586 I do not like you. You have only brought me pain. 836 01:46:54,837 --> 01:46:58,632 Jack, help! 837 01:46:59,466 --> 01:47:04,429 Did anyone come out of here? 838 01:47:04,971 --> 01:47:10,476 Did you see a crazy guy with an axe? 839 01:47:21,069 --> 01:47:25,907 Hey, Jack. What kept you? 840 01:47:27,742 --> 01:47:33,622 - Are you all right, Danny? - Yes, sir. 841 01:47:35,833 --> 01:47:38,710 I tried to change, Jack. 842 01:47:38,960 --> 01:47:43,590 I really tried to do what he told me to, but - 843 01:47:43,840 --> 01:47:51,013 - I kept hearing that old music. I knew you would come here, Jack. 844 01:47:51,263 --> 01:47:55,476 Lose the piece. 845 01:47:57,853 --> 01:48:03,191 There. It is between you and me. So let the boy go. 846 01:48:03,441 --> 01:48:08,279 We have played this number before. What comes next? 847 01:48:08,529 --> 01:48:14,243 You throw the gun away... We have done that part. 848 01:48:14,493 --> 01:48:19,873 And then you tell me to let the kid go. 849 01:48:20,123 --> 01:48:24,877 I am getting bored. Let us skip to the end. 850 01:48:35,679 --> 01:48:41,768 Come on, Jack! Over here, right here! 851 01:49:09,752 --> 01:49:16,258 I will be back! 852 01:49:21,471 --> 01:49:25,516 The hell you will. 853 01:49:27,518 --> 01:49:30,813 Jack! 854 01:49:31,021 --> 01:49:34,608 Danny? 855 01:49:36,276 --> 01:49:42,657 Danny, I will be right there! I am coming! Hang on! 856 01:49:44,867 --> 01:49:48,788 Just hang on now. 857 01:49:49,705 --> 01:49:55,544 - Jack, help! - I will be right there! 858 01:49:55,711 --> 01:50:00,215 - I am coming! - Just hurry! 859 01:50:00,465 --> 01:50:05,511 Hold on, Danny! And do not look down! 860 01:50:05,762 --> 01:50:09,473 Oh, God, please do not let him die. 861 01:50:09,724 --> 01:50:15,562 Listen, kid. You grab my hand and we get out of here. 862 01:50:15,812 --> 01:50:20,609 - I cannot, Jack. I will fall. - Come on, now. 863 01:50:20,859 --> 01:50:24,654 - Trust me. - I cannot do it. 864 01:50:24,904 --> 01:50:31,452 Listen to me. Hold on with your legs and let your hands go. 865 01:50:31,702 --> 01:50:39,167 I will catch you. Believe in me. I will catch you. Get my hand. 866 01:50:39,417 --> 01:50:43,505 Go for it, Danny! 867 01:51:03,064 --> 01:51:08,319 This hero stuff has its limits. 868 01:51:13,532 --> 01:51:17,953 I need a hospital. My shoulder is out of the socket. 869 01:51:18,203 --> 01:51:21,623 Will a morgue suffice? 870 01:51:21,873 --> 01:51:25,043 Get down, Danny! 871 01:51:28,462 --> 01:51:32,883 Give it up, Benedict. The lobby is swarming with cops. 872 01:51:33,133 --> 01:51:38,263 I think I can avoid them. But if not, I have a little - 873 01:51:38,513 --> 01:51:43,643 - explosive surprise for them. 874 01:51:44,686 --> 01:51:52,901 Since you are about to die, I will tell you the plot. Think of villains. 875 01:51:53,152 --> 01:51:57,155 Do you want Dracula? Hang on. 876 01:51:57,406 --> 01:52:03,328 I will fetch him. Dracula? I can get King Kong. 877 01:52:03,578 --> 01:52:08,499 A nightmare with Freddy Krueger. A party for Adolf Hitler. 878 01:52:08,749 --> 01:52:16,924 Hannibal Lecter can do the catering. And a christening for Rosemary's Baby. 879 01:52:17,215 --> 01:52:26,766 If I snap my fingers, they will come. They are lining up. Do you know why? 880 01:52:27,016 --> 01:52:36,858 Because in this world the bad guys can win! I shall miss you, Jack. 881 01:52:43,531 --> 01:52:49,662 Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the gun. 882 01:52:49,912 --> 01:52:55,751 No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty. 883 01:53:10,931 --> 01:53:15,394 You broke my arm! 884 01:53:17,479 --> 01:53:24,819 Do you see, Jack? Bad guys can win. 885 01:53:42,043 --> 01:53:44,462 Now! 886 01:53:44,712 --> 01:53:48,424 No sequel for you. 887 01:53:54,221 --> 01:53:57,683 The ticket. 888 01:54:47,687 --> 01:54:54,651 Take him home. To where this is just a flesh wound. 889 01:54:55,486 --> 01:55:01,324 Do you not understand? We must get him back to the movies. 890 01:55:01,574 --> 01:55:06,079 I said: Turn around! 891 01:55:09,373 --> 01:55:15,921 Great! They always run away! Hang on, Jack. 892 01:55:16,463 --> 01:55:23,636 - Danny, do you know how to drive? - Sure. I have watched you, right? 893 01:55:59,794 --> 01:56:03,298 Get out of the way! 894 01:56:12,598 --> 01:56:17,102 Nick, fire up the projector! Slater is dying! 895 01:56:17,352 --> 01:56:23,525 - Do you have the ticket? - No, but it has to work anyway! 896 01:56:35,494 --> 01:56:39,664 Hold on, Jack. You will make it. This is going to work. 897 01:56:39,915 --> 01:56:43,626 It has to be here. 898 01:56:48,547 --> 01:56:52,593 Please. Nick, hurry! The door will not open. 899 01:56:52,843 --> 01:56:58,181 No sweat, kid. You tried. 900 01:57:14,696 --> 01:57:18,658 Where are you going? Back off! You cannot have him. 901 01:57:18,909 --> 01:57:27,833 I have had it with you, Mister. Who stays, who goes. This one stays! 902 01:57:32,004 --> 01:57:38,885 I was only curious. He is not on any of my lists. 903 01:57:39,136 --> 01:57:44,098 Though you are, Daniel. 904 01:57:44,307 --> 01:57:52,273 - Now? - Oh, no. You die a grandfather. 905 01:57:57,361 --> 01:58:05,076 Wait a minute! Help us. I know you can get him back. 906 01:58:05,326 --> 01:58:13,792 I do not do fiction. It is not my field. Sorry. 907 01:58:14,585 --> 01:58:17,879 You are a very brave young man. 908 01:58:18,130 --> 01:58:26,888 Unfortunately, you are not very bright. If I were you - 909 01:58:28,556 --> 01:58:34,186 - I would look for the other half of the ticket. 910 01:58:41,318 --> 01:58:46,489 They are all gold. 911 01:58:50,284 --> 01:58:55,414 I have got it, Jack! I will get you home. 912 01:58:55,664 --> 01:58:58,041 You cannot die. 913 01:58:58,291 --> 01:59:02,670 I know. Until the grosses go down. 914 01:59:02,921 --> 01:59:07,341 No! This will save us! 915 01:59:07,884 --> 01:59:12,805 Throw that silly thing away. 916 01:59:13,972 --> 01:59:17,059 Holy cow! 917 01:59:38,662 --> 01:59:43,875 Let us hear it for Houdini! 918 01:59:45,626 --> 01:59:50,214 Slater!!! 919 01:59:50,464 --> 01:59:57,888 Has anybody seen Slater? I want him in my office right now! 920 02:00:14,403 --> 02:00:16,989 Help! Somebody! 921 02:00:17,239 --> 02:00:23,536 They got Jack! Doctor, move! 922 02:00:23,745 --> 02:00:27,790 Take this. Get back before it changes its mind. 923 02:00:28,040 --> 02:00:30,918 No way. I will not leave you. 924 02:00:31,168 --> 02:00:35,714 I am an imaginary hero, Danny. You have a real life. 925 02:00:35,964 --> 02:00:44,430 You are real to me. You are the best. I need you... 926 02:00:44,681 --> 02:00:51,478 Here where you can always find me. But I need you there to believe in me. 927 02:00:51,729 --> 02:00:54,231 To take care of your mother. 928 02:00:54,481 --> 02:01:00,237 I would love to... You have your whole life ahead of you. 929 02:01:00,487 --> 02:01:05,533 And pimples and premature ejaculation. 930 02:01:08,327 --> 02:01:12,081 - What? - It is just... 931 02:01:12,331 --> 02:01:17,169 I am scared that I will never see you again. 932 02:01:17,419 --> 02:01:24,676 Whoever thinks that would be making a big mistake. 933 02:01:30,848 --> 02:01:33,892 Get out of the way. Do you want a doctor? 934 02:01:34,143 --> 02:01:37,396 Get out of the way. I am a doctor. 935 02:01:37,646 --> 02:01:41,066 What happened? 936 02:01:47,905 --> 02:01:54,578 Is this a joke? This is not even a flesh wound. 937 02:02:11,927 --> 02:02:12,970 Where the hell have you been? 938 02:02:13,220 --> 02:02:16,181 Where the hell have you been? 939 02:02:16,223 --> 02:02:18,558 It is working again. 940 02:02:18,809 --> 02:02:21,978 That door is coming out of your meagre paycheck! 941 02:02:22,228 --> 02:02:26,524 I have the Eagle Foundation doing a tango up my Hershey Highway! 942 02:02:26,774 --> 02:02:33,322 I do not care about your highway. And stop shouting. I am not deaf! 943 02:02:33,572 --> 02:02:38,410 You shout because it is in the script. You are the comic relief. 944 02:02:38,660 --> 02:02:44,874 And do you know what? I am the hero. So shut up!! 945 02:02:47,627 --> 02:02:50,254 Hollywood writes our lives. 946 02:02:50,504 --> 02:02:55,467 I do not want to shoot people and blow up buildings anymore. 947 02:02:55,717 --> 02:03:01,556 You did get to be a magician, Nick. It really does work. 948 02:03:01,806 --> 02:03:06,769 The ticket is yours, Danny. And do you know what? 949 02:03:07,019 --> 02:03:12,608 I think the magic was yours, too. Come on. 950 02:03:12,858 --> 02:03:17,738 Have I told you about the time my dad took me to see Buffalo Bill? 951 02:03:17,988 --> 02:03:23,535 We met Sitting Bull, who was his medicine man. 952 02:03:37,464 --> 02:03:45,680 Subtitles by Harry Allen Scandinavian Text Service