1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:03,915 Hm. 4 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:11,088 - Arsenio Hall! - Woo! Woo! Woo! 5 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,430 Team Two take the prison. We get the villa. 6 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:47,124 Little Sister, this is Big Brother, we are in the ballpark. 7 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,766 Big Brother, Little Sister. We're at the prison. 8 00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:07,622 Little Sister, Big Brother. Are you in position? 9 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:12,209 Big Brother, Little Sister, affirmative. Attack in 30. 10 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,128 Starting now. 11 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,556 Hm! 12 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:34,565 Ooh! Ooh! 13 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,239 Ah, ah. Ooh. 14 00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,090 Six... 15 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:04,762 ...five, four, three, two... 16 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:08,933 It's an ambush! 17 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,606 Alka-Seltzer! 18 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,109 Whoa! 19 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:19,777 Ahh! 20 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:24,198 Big Brother! Harbinger, where are you? 21 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,829 Ahh! 22 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,625 Ahh! Ah! Ah! 23 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,797 Ah! Oh! 24 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:46,470 Surrender, Yankee infidels! You have no chance. 25 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,640 Off to prison, American Satans. 26 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:16,792 Americans were shocked by the announcement of the failure 27 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:20,629 of yet another mission to rescue hostages from the Middle East. 28 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,842 Informed sources reveal that the rescue team itself has been captured 29 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,344 and added to those already being held. 30 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,347 Reports also indicate that an attempt on the life 31 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:34,351 of a terrorist dictator was thwarted at the same time. 32 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:39,273 With the election 10 days away, it may be a setback for the White House. 33 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,818 Presidential challenger Senator Gray Edwards 34 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,321 commented on the failed mission. 35 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,698 This is no time for partisan politics. 36 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,910 Bringing our people home should be our priority. 37 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:55,623 Despite this crisis, the president put on his best political face 38 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,875 continuing on his campaign schedule. 39 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,878 Benson's 20-point lead in the poll six months ago 40 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,340 has plummeted since the hostage crisis began. 41 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,842 The CNN/Victoria's Secret catalog poll 42 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,179 has the president and Edwards running neck and neck. 43 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,974 Today, Benson made a brief stop in Fergus Falls, Virginia 44 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,144 - for a groundbreaking of a library. - You took my baby! 45 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,647 The five living former chief executives 46 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,567 Presidents Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford and Nixon 47 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,362 were on hand for the groundbreaking ceremony. 48 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,990 Correspondent Jeri Kelter reports on this historic moment. 49 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:33,744 The library is to be built near the Fergus Falls Civic Center. 50 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,331 - President Benson made no statements. - Oh! My knee! 51 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:41,919 Publicly, he seemed unaware of the political blow he had been dealt. 52 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:47,049 Privately, aides marveled at his spirit as he performed his morning routine 53 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:49,093 by milking the White House goats 54 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,429 and eating two helpings of grapefruit and creamed corn. 55 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:57,935 Tonight, the president and his top advisers will burn the midnight oil. 56 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,020 Sabotage. 57 00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,606 My God, man, what does it mean? 58 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:05,943 We must tighten security, sir. Find out who's behind it. 59 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:09,572 No, no, no. The word "sabotage." What does it mean? 60 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,949 Someone's subverting our mission, sir. 61 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,410 One of our own may be aiding the enemy. 62 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,328 Come in! 63 00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,582 Mr. President. 64 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:23,711 Oh, Jesus! Don't you ever sneak up on me like that again. 65 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,962 What is it, Bob? 66 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,132 If Edwards hears of this, he'll use it against you. 67 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:32,136 - He'll try to prove you're incompetent. - I can prove that too. 68 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:35,306 Mr. President, the CIA can't afford another failure. 69 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,058 We'll send Colonel Walters to get our people. 70 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,603 To ensure success, we need Topper Harley. 71 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,938 We've located him in the Far East. 72 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,149 Topper Harley. 73 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,737 We've served together before, sir. There's no one better. 74 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,824 - Cookie? - Not me, sir. 75 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,285 - Young lady? - No, thank you. 76 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,330 No, no, I was just offering him a young lady. 77 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,292 Oh, yeah, Topper Harley. 78 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,253 Good. I love the boy. Kid's got guts. 79 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,757 There isn't a fighting man on this planet that can... 80 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,177 Gotcha! Listening at the door, huh? 81 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,222 Well, Walters, looks like we've got our saboteur. 82 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,723 That's your wife, sir. 83 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,269 Huh! Yeah, so it is. 84 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:27,483 Lavinia. You're looking as lovely as the day we met. 85 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,236 Find out what she knows. 86 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:33,155 As for you, get me Topper Harley. 87 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:29,920 Hm? 88 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:19,219 Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears! Sprinkles, sprinkles! 89 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,223 Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears! Sprinkles, sprinkles... 90 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,025 You fight! 91 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,839 Aisle 5, mezzanine, to your left. 92 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,634 Get your program right here. Program! 93 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,344 One pig snout sandwich. 94 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:39,049 Both fighters are showing signs of fatigue. 95 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,885 They aren't moving around the ring as much. 96 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,763 Hey, this is where your conditioning pays off. 97 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,090 Coochie-coochie-coo. Coochie-goo. 98 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,442 You win! 99 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,993 Topper, Topper, Topper, Topper... 100 00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,703 Topper Harley! 101 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,628 Mmm. 102 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,447 Topper. 103 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,492 I don't believe it. 104 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,996 - Topper. - Colonel. 105 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:36,750 - Good to see you again. - Yeah, you too. 106 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,752 You want to tell me about it? 107 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,172 Well, they let me live here. 108 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,675 I help out fixing things. 109 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:47,594 It's peaceful. Quiet. 110 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,016 No one is allowed to talk. 111 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,436 And that dim sum fighting in the warehouse yesterday? 112 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,605 I do that for the extra money. 113 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:02,067 And to satisfy my male cravings to kill and win. 114 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,320 Colonel, who are they? 115 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,948 She's CIA. 116 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,117 - The other man's an extra. - Ah. 117 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,244 What does she do? 118 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,830 Heads up Middle East covert operations. 119 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,748 Reports directly to Benson. 120 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:20,210 Colonel, these men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy. 121 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,088 Like their fathers and grandfathers. 122 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:25,507 They haven't seen a woman in decades. 123 00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,217 Miss Huddleston! 124 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,845 Ow! Ow! Ow! 125 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,556 This is Michelle Huddleston. 126 00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:33,890 Topper Harley. 127 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,142 Pleasure. 128 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,228 - You're not easy to find. - Why are you keeping track? 129 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,938 It's like the colonel says: 130 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,399 Good men are hard to find. 131 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,736 I don't know what you know about the last war, 132 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,405 but some of our men were missing in action. 133 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,742 On two occasions we sent in squads to rescue those men. 134 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,076 Both squads failed. 135 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:57,122 We must get the men who went to get the men who went to get the men. 136 00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:00,917 - I'm here to make sure we succeed. - What's this got to do with me? 137 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,377 I'm going this time. 138 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:06,256 - We want you to go with him. - Why me, ma'am? 139 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,216 Because you're the best of what's left. 140 00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,928 My war is over. 141 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,103 Mmm... Ah! 142 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,316 It's a few extra dollars now. 143 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,319 But you'll make that back on your heating bill. 144 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,947 We're gonna caulk the ashram if you want to stop by. 145 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,449 Thanks, Bob. 146 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,956 This mission's important. We've got to take care of our people. 147 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,833 Come with me. 148 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,673 When are you gonna put Ramada behind you? 149 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,468 - What are you saying? - You say your war is over. 150 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,681 Maybe the one out there is, but not the one inside you. 151 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,975 You running from the pain won't solve anything. 152 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:02,312 Because wherever you go, you take the pain with you. 153 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,357 You've come an awful long way to lecture me. 154 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,818 You were hurt when that woman left. 155 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,862 You're using that to hide from who you really are. 156 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,532 - That was a long time ago. - Thank you. Next! 157 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,158 I don't want it. 158 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,703 Nice butt. 159 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,707 Topper, let me tell you a little story. 160 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,376 It seems there were three bears. 161 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,921 One day when their porridge was too hot, they took a walk. 162 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,091 A little blond girl skipped through the woods 163 00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:34,386 and she ate their porridge and sat in their chairs 164 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,179 and slept in their beds. 165 00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:39,850 And when those bears returned and discovered that mess... 166 00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:43,103 - Do you know what happened then? - No. 167 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:46,690 That little blond girl got scared. 168 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,025 Ran away. 169 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:53,029 So, what you're saying is, that little blond girl is me. 170 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,616 So I should color my hair... 171 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,870 Topper, they didn't make you this fighting machine. 172 00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:03,540 They just cooked up the porridge and went for a walk. 173 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,877 You won't stop running until you face your three bears. 174 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,546 Ramada. 175 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,091 Colonel. 176 00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,051 I'm sorry. 177 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,095 It has to end for me sometime. 178 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,389 If you should change your mind 179 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,141 here's my 900 number. 180 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,436 It's $5.00 a minute. I'll waive the charges. 181 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,236 ...your three bears. 182 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:36,948 Ramada. Ramada. Ramada. 183 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:05,101 If our lips should meet Inamorata 184 00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,604 Don Corleone. 185 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:12,484 Kiss me, kiss me sweet Inamorata 186 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:19,407 Hold me close And say goodnight 187 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:26,790 With a love As warm as wine 188 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:34,381 I'm at heaven's door Inamorata 189 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:41,179 Want you more and more Inamorata 190 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,559 You're a symphony 191 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:51,147 A very beautiful sonata My inamorata 192 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:57,320 Say that you're my sweetheart My love 193 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,437 You're a symphony 194 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:35,984 A very beautiful sonata My inamorata 195 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:42,490 Say that you're my sweetheart My love 196 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,747 Hey, what's wrong, kid? 197 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,751 I love you so much. 198 00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:56,922 But it's such a crazy world. I don't want anything to happen to us. 199 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:58,423 Don't worry. 200 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,718 In a few days, we'll be on the train to Hawaii. 201 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:05,555 We'll find a minister to marry us, and we'll never be apart. 202 00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:08,391 But if something should keep us apart? 203 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:12,062 If one of us can't make it to Blenheim Train Station? 204 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,813 Like, for instance, 205 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,900 if something came up unexpectedly. 206 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:21,112 Not that I think it would. Or it already has. 207 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:25,075 Wherever I'll be, I want you to know that... 208 00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,416 Kiss me. 209 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,920 Kiss me like you've never kissed me before. 210 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:58,608 You will denounce the criminal acts against our people by your president. 211 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:02,153 Sign here. Initial here, here, and here. 212 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:13,790 Phil! 213 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,641 Sign the document. 214 00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:02,547 I see you're no stranger to pain. 215 00:23:02,757 --> 00:23:03,840 I've been married. 216 00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:07,844 - Twice. - Oy! 217 00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:21,858 Like the previous six, this victim was found folded neatly in half 218 00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:25,361 inside the glove compartment of a sanitation truck. 219 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,447 Police are baffled. 220 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:28,948 This just in. 221 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,535 Presidential military adviser Colonel Denton Walters 222 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:36,706 has been captured during an aborted attempt to free our hostages. 223 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:40,043 This tape was delivered to us just moments ago. 224 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:42,462 They are treating me good here. 225 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,882 The food is tasty and nourishing. 226 00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,551 The peaceful leader of this country 227 00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:51,304 has asked me to appeal to you, Mr. President 228 00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:56,059 to stop your vicious, imperialistic tactics around the globe. 229 00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:14,661 Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome 230 00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:17,664 to His Excellency, the Prime Minister of Japan 231 00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:21,251 Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto. 232 00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:28,758 The president of the United States, Thomas Benson. 233 00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:34,180 Mr. President, this is Prime Minister Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto. 234 00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:37,183 President Benson, where's your first lady? 235 00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:41,479 I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the age of 15. 236 00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:43,022 I can't keep track. 237 00:24:43,274 --> 00:24:45,608 Let's get this over with. I feel ill. 238 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:49,195 My intestines were removed during action in the North Atlantic. 239 00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:53,867 Took a torpedo in the gut. My bowels were replaced with hemp. 240 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:57,036 - Clogs easily. - I hope you feel better. 241 00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:59,205 Well, my lips to yours. 242 00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:12,802 The junior senator from Minnesota, Gray Edwards. 243 00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:16,306 President Benson, Prime Minister Soto, 244 00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:18,141 ladies and gentlemen. 245 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:21,477 Tonight we put election politics aside as I join you 246 00:25:21,687 --> 00:25:26,357 as majority whip and chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee 247 00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:29,068 in welcoming the Japanese prime minister 248 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:33,072 and his lovely wife to these United States. 249 00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:36,826 Our two great nations have begun... 250 00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:39,704 ...what we hope will be a long and successful dialogue. 251 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:42,498 Ptooh! 252 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,585 - Not only... - I don't remember eating that. 253 00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:48,838 I feel better now. It's that raw fish odor. 254 00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,048 It makes... 255 00:25:50,257 --> 00:25:51,758 Oh, God. 256 00:25:58,766 --> 00:26:02,018 Look at that! Those my teeth? 257 00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:05,021 Only to continue in the highest spirit... 258 00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,815 Yeah. They're filthy! 259 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:11,194 And so I would like to propose a toast. 260 00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:14,864 - Oh, thank you, Yoko. - I'll take that, sir. 261 00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:16,783 To world peace. 262 00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:19,535 To a clean environment. 263 00:26:20,371 --> 00:26:24,540 To harmony with our planet and world prosperity. 264 00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:30,380 Thank you. 265 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:36,386 Looking for a place to sit, lieutenant? 266 00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:40,390 I must talk to the president. Can you arrange that? 267 00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:44,102 - You'd be amazed what I can do. - It's my fault they got Walters. 268 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:45,561 I want to go in. 269 00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,731 You showed up just in time. We leave in the morning. 270 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:53,444 I'm taking charge of this mission. You mind working under a woman? 271 00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:57,282 And now, the president of the United States, Thomas Benson. 272 00:27:01,996 --> 00:27:04,580 Prime Minister Tojo, Senator Edwards, 273 00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:08,960 my fellow Americans and our millions of illegal aliens. 274 00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:12,463 It seems like only yesterday I was strafing your homes. 275 00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:16,259 Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars. 276 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,594 Excuse me. I need a glass of water. 277 00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:21,431 Damn tongue's dry. It's not mine, you know. 278 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,434 Lost mine in Laos. Little commie lopped it off. 279 00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:28,771 It's probably a doorstop somewhere. Got this one from a basset hound. 280 00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,109 Get the car. 281 00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:35,987 President Benson. 282 00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:38,698 No, you're not. 283 00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:41,200 I've seen him. He's older, about my height. 284 00:27:41,452 --> 00:27:43,536 Sir, this is Topper Harley. 285 00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:46,622 Topper. Yes, of course. Son I never had. 286 00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:49,834 Well, no damn wonder I didn't recognize you then. 287 00:27:50,044 --> 00:27:53,338 Word of advice, don't call yourself the president. 288 00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:56,883 I wouldn't, neither should you. It doesn't hold water. 289 00:27:57,134 --> 00:28:01,304 For that matter, neither do I. Let's get away from these power cables. 290 00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:06,142 - I'd like to join the next mission. - God bless you, boy. 291 00:28:06,352 --> 00:28:07,643 This one's on the QT. 292 00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:11,314 It's called "Secret Mission to Get Walters and Our Boys Back." 293 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:15,151 When you come back, I'm gonna throw you wonderful guys a party. 294 00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:17,820 And there should be plenty to eat. 295 00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:20,656 I doubt more than half of you will return. 296 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:26,913 Thank you. 297 00:28:28,165 --> 00:28:30,166 Got a light, lieutenant? 298 00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:32,168 I quit smoking. 299 00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:34,670 Besides, I don't think it's allowed here. 300 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,007 What are they gonna do, arrest me for smoking? 301 00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:53,689 - I know what to get you for Christmas. - A Thighmaster? I've broken three. 302 00:28:53,899 --> 00:28:54,941 Really? 303 00:28:55,192 --> 00:28:58,403 Let's go to my apartment and discuss our mission. 304 00:28:58,612 --> 00:29:00,405 I'm putty in your hands. 305 00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:03,866 In my hands, nothing turns to putty. 306 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:30,893 Hmm. 307 00:30:09,892 --> 00:30:10,933 Hm? 308 00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:30,453 Ah. Ah. 309 00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:52,141 Oh. 310 00:32:35,829 --> 00:32:38,497 Yippee! Woo-hoo! 311 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:44,337 Yippee-ki-yay! Woo! 312 00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:48,924 In an emotional address at the state capitol 313 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,344 Nebraska Governor, Paul Burmaster, 314 00:32:51,595 --> 00:32:55,514 made a public apology for his state being so flat. 315 00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:04,690 Where are you? 316 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,443 I don't know. 317 00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:09,487 What's wrong? 318 00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:12,031 My arm's asleep. 319 00:33:12,282 --> 00:33:14,283 No, something else. 320 00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:17,203 My leg too. 321 00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:19,955 Please, you can tell me. 322 00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:22,708 Well... 323 00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:24,502 Topper. 324 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,630 I have to wee-wee. 325 00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:33,302 Look, I told myself last night was just going to be last night. 326 00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:39,308 I guess I just never counted on finding a guy so deep, so sensitive. 327 00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:42,895 I've fallen for you, Topper. 328 00:33:43,146 --> 00:33:45,356 I've fallen for you big time. 329 00:33:51,697 --> 00:33:54,156 There's someone else, isn't there? 330 00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:57,493 I have no idea what you mean. 331 00:33:58,537 --> 00:34:00,079 Women sense these things. 332 00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:02,248 I said there's no one. 333 00:34:04,418 --> 00:34:05,835 I'm fine. 334 00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:09,338 I know about Ramada, Topper. I read your dossier. 335 00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:11,841 She must be quite a woman. 336 00:34:13,844 --> 00:34:15,010 And what if she was? 337 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:17,471 Was? 338 00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:26,272 Last call for Train 590 for Glendale, San Francisco and Honolulu. 339 00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:30,025 Board! Board! 340 00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:36,449 I told you. Warned you twice. 341 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,539 Harley. 342 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:46,459 - Topper Harley. - Right here. 343 00:34:58,638 --> 00:35:01,140 I cannot go with you or ever see you again. 344 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,976 Just believe that I love you. 345 00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,895 You must be brave, my darling. 346 00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:08,981 This card is printed on recycled paper. 347 00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:44,266 Sergeant pick that up. Someone could trip over it. 348 00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:56,362 Which one of you is Michelle Huddleston? 349 00:35:57,322 --> 00:35:58,823 She is. 350 00:35:59,282 --> 00:36:02,284 I'm glad you're here. The hostages are being moved. 351 00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,787 I'm Commander Armin Harbinger. I'm in charge. 352 00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:07,122 Sorry, commander. Presidential orders. 353 00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:08,874 We're in charge now. 354 00:36:10,544 --> 00:36:12,044 - Any questions? - No, ma'am. 355 00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:18,133 Harley, I've been there. 356 00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:21,637 I've seen the enemy. If you're not ready, you won't make it. 357 00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:23,722 I've fired a couple of guns. 358 00:36:25,141 --> 00:36:27,685 I'll assemble the men, with your permission. 359 00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:37,570 Gentlemen, Ms. Huddleston, CIA, and Lieutenant Topper Harley. 360 00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:39,405 We're working for them. 361 00:36:39,656 --> 00:36:43,659 Williams, com sync pac ram set MOS 92-H tact op spec patty-wack. 362 00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:46,328 - Patty-wack? - Give a dog a bone, sir. 363 00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:48,163 Of course. 364 00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:51,917 Rabinowitz, demolition. Can't wait to blow something up for you. 365 00:36:52,168 --> 00:36:53,836 I look forward to it. 366 00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:58,507 Commander Harbinger advised me we have 11 hours to free the prisoners. 367 00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:00,926 After that, we may lose them forever. 368 00:37:02,429 --> 00:37:04,680 This is the prison camp area. 369 00:37:04,890 --> 00:37:08,851 It's heavily guarded, but they won't expect an attack from the jungle. 370 00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:13,188 Your contact, code name Bench Press, will lead you to the camp. 371 00:37:13,356 --> 00:37:15,608 I'll meet you at the rendezvous point. 372 00:37:15,859 --> 00:37:17,026 Good luck. 373 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:23,699 Topper! 374 00:37:26,786 --> 00:37:29,079 I know we haven't had much time together 375 00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:33,709 but when you go into battle, take something of mine with you. 376 00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:40,799 Your lucky mole. 377 00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,819 Topper, what are you reading? 378 00:38:42,112 --> 00:38:43,445 Great Expectations. 379 00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:46,949 - Is it any good? - It's not all I hoped for. 380 00:38:48,034 --> 00:38:50,285 Know what I'm gonna do if we make it? 381 00:38:50,537 --> 00:38:55,040 I'm gonna go back to Eagle River and marry my gal, Edith Mae. 382 00:38:55,875 --> 00:38:59,628 Gonna get us a nice little place with a white picket fence. 383 00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:01,296 You know the kind. 384 00:39:01,798 --> 00:39:03,465 Two-car garage. 385 00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:05,884 Maybe a fishing boat. 386 00:39:06,136 --> 00:39:09,013 And in 15 years, when they're all paid for, 387 00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:12,558 I'll set my charges and blow the shit out of them. 388 00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:16,729 You got a girl, Topper? 389 00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:23,819 Penny to Sky King, no parents in sight. Party is on. 390 00:39:24,988 --> 00:39:26,405 Green, green, green... 391 00:39:26,656 --> 00:39:27,990 Hook up. 392 00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:40,085 Geronimo! 393 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,048 Me! 394 00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:56,226 Ahh. 395 00:40:33,223 --> 00:40:34,723 Thanks, brothers. 396 00:41:36,870 --> 00:41:38,328 Jeez! 397 00:41:51,467 --> 00:41:52,968 Stop it! 398 00:41:59,392 --> 00:42:01,643 - Ramada. - Topper. 399 00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:05,314 - What are you doing here? - This is Bench Press, our contact. 400 00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,566 - I didn't know. - You know each other? 401 00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:10,027 Yes. Yes, we do. 402 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,154 It's been a long time. 403 00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:16,325 - Let's see, the last time we met... - Was The Flurvian Sea. 404 00:42:17,577 --> 00:42:19,995 - You remember? - I remember every detail. 405 00:42:20,163 --> 00:42:24,917 The sky was blue. You wore gray. I was in chiffon. 406 00:42:25,168 --> 00:42:28,003 Topper, there's so much to say. 407 00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:30,214 You're as pretty as when you dumped me. 408 00:42:30,423 --> 00:42:32,174 You've changed. 409 00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:36,929 That beauty mark. 410 00:42:39,515 --> 00:42:42,559 It was a... It's a gift. 411 00:42:43,186 --> 00:42:45,854 Very touching, but it's no time to reminisce. 412 00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:50,067 We must be at the rendezvous point in seven hours or we miss our pickup. 413 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,194 It's your show, hero. 414 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:55,364 Let's move out. 415 00:42:56,699 --> 00:42:58,408 Follow me. 416 00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:10,921 We're late. I know a shortcut. 417 00:43:16,886 --> 00:43:18,887 - The meat's smoking. - Shut up. 418 00:43:19,055 --> 00:43:21,932 - Let's take it off the grill. - Leave me alone. 419 00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,935 - Frank, you're drunk again. - Whose fault is that? 420 00:43:30,066 --> 00:43:32,818 This is the best way to the prison compound. 421 00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:35,779 They see many boats, so they won't be suspicious. 422 00:43:35,989 --> 00:43:38,448 There are clothes in the wheelhouse. 423 00:43:40,118 --> 00:43:43,912 Somebody once wrote, "Hell is the impossibility of reason." 424 00:43:44,664 --> 00:43:47,916 That's what this place feels like. Hell. 425 00:43:48,084 --> 00:43:50,961 I hate it already, and it's only been a few hours. 426 00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:53,463 I'm so tired. We get up at 5:00... 427 00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:56,758 At first I thought they'd handed me the wrong dossier. 428 00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,303 I couldn't believe they wanted him dead. 429 00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:02,431 Third generation West Point. Top of his class. 430 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,308 Korea, Airborne, 431 00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:08,478 about a thousand decorations, et cetera, et cetera. 432 00:44:11,274 --> 00:44:13,775 I loved you in Wall Street! 433 00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:34,004 An enemy control boat has changed course and is heading for our people. 434 00:44:34,213 --> 00:44:35,630 Send the alert. 435 00:44:37,467 --> 00:44:39,801 Hello, Lucky. Report my signal. 436 00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:41,511 Report my signal. Over. 437 00:44:41,721 --> 00:44:44,639 Hello, George Mike Walters. Strength three. Over. 438 00:44:44,807 --> 00:44:48,810 Recon reports Indians on the warpath in your area. Over. 439 00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,354 No Indians here. Over. 440 00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:54,149 Do not take literally. Repeat. Do not take literally. 441 00:44:54,359 --> 00:44:57,027 The vultures are circling the carcass. Repeat. 442 00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,738 The vultures are circling the carcass. 443 00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:01,823 I see a couple of gulls, but... 444 00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:05,160 Pit bull's out of the cage. Crips are raiding the store. 445 00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:08,580 Hey, you yanking my crank? 446 00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:24,429 They see a woman, they will know we are masquerading. 447 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,224 Only men are allowed to do the fishing. 448 00:45:32,397 --> 00:45:34,022 Topper. 449 00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:36,525 Why did you have to come here now? 450 00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:39,694 Of all the missions in all the jungles... 451 00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:43,031 ...you had to walk into this one. - I tried to stay away. 452 00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:46,952 I thought I'd never see you again, that you were out of my life. 453 00:45:47,203 --> 00:45:49,204 But it's a sequel. I had to come. 454 00:45:49,372 --> 00:45:51,581 Do you know what the critics will say? 455 00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:54,918 - "Same warmed-over characters..." - Topper, stop it. 456 00:45:55,128 --> 00:45:59,047 You're only using this whole casting thing as an excuse 457 00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:00,882 to hide what's hurting you. 458 00:46:01,384 --> 00:46:04,636 Hurt? Maybe. Once. 459 00:46:05,763 --> 00:46:07,973 But I knew this day would come. 460 00:46:08,433 --> 00:46:10,642 I knew one day you'd come crawling back 461 00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:14,396 begging for forgiveness. Groveling, sniveling, 462 00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:17,149 pleading for another chance. 463 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:22,112 Sorry, sweetheart, but this all-day sucker is down to the soggy stick. 464 00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:25,157 No, Topper, you don't understand. 465 00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:29,744 I'm married. I was married before you and I ever met. 466 00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:31,496 I'm still married today. 467 00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:33,415 - You're joking. - I'm not. 468 00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:36,418 - You've got to be. - If I was joking I would say, 469 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:40,589 "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?"' 470 00:46:40,798 --> 00:46:42,591 You are married. 471 00:46:42,967 --> 00:46:45,927 - Why didn't you tell me? - I thought he was dead. 472 00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:49,347 He worked for the CIA, training pilots in Germany. 473 00:46:49,599 --> 00:46:50,682 Highest security. 474 00:46:50,933 --> 00:46:53,351 They told me he died over Villenshtoben. 475 00:46:53,603 --> 00:46:55,437 The day before we were to go 476 00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:58,857 I got word he was alive, in a hospital in Berlin. 477 00:46:59,692 --> 00:47:01,359 I had to go to him. 478 00:47:01,611 --> 00:47:03,987 They ordered me not to tell anyone. 479 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:09,284 - I know how you must feel. - You do, huh? 480 00:47:09,619 --> 00:47:12,204 You know how it feels to have your heart shot 481 00:47:12,455 --> 00:47:14,122 and tied to the hood of a car? 482 00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:16,875 To be passed like a large kidney stone? 483 00:47:17,460 --> 00:47:19,002 Ramada, 484 00:47:19,295 --> 00:47:20,670 I don't think so. 485 00:47:23,966 --> 00:47:25,550 Patrol boat! 486 00:47:30,515 --> 00:47:34,351 Remember, we're not American. These boys aren't stupid. 487 00:47:45,238 --> 00:47:46,530 Where's Harbinger? 488 00:47:46,739 --> 00:47:48,323 Shut off your engine. 489 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:51,910 Shut off your engine. We're boarding. 490 00:48:43,713 --> 00:48:44,713 Hm. 491 00:49:07,903 --> 00:49:10,280 Kareem of Onion! Al Jarreau! 492 00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:40,935 Go on! Get out of here! 493 00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,316 Take that to the bank and cash it! 494 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,695 Swim for shore! 495 00:49:55,785 --> 00:49:57,160 Save yourselves! 496 00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:05,293 Swim for it! I'll catch up. 497 00:50:05,795 --> 00:50:06,961 Go! 498 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:39,828 Omar Sharif! 499 00:50:57,388 --> 00:51:01,266 Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! 500 00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:16,531 Whoa! 501 00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:24,789 Topper? 502 00:51:29,211 --> 00:51:32,589 President Benson is returning to Washington today 503 00:51:32,965 --> 00:51:35,800 to speak to the nation in what experts are calling 504 00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:39,387 the pivotal address of his political career. 505 00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:46,895 - How is the speech coming, sir? - Hm? 506 00:51:47,563 --> 00:51:49,147 Oh, I'm practicing my A's. 507 00:51:49,398 --> 00:51:51,608 - This look like an A to you? - Yes, sir. 508 00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:52,984 All right. 509 00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:56,446 What's that, Bill? 510 00:51:56,655 --> 00:51:59,908 We just received word from Michelle. Harley is missing. 511 00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:02,577 - His boat has been demolished. - Oh, damn it! 512 00:52:03,746 --> 00:52:05,747 Every time I give an order, it gets screwed up! 513 00:52:05,956 --> 00:52:08,249 Plan a reception, wrong hors d'oeuvres. 514 00:52:08,417 --> 00:52:11,336 Appoint an ambassador, he leaves the country. 515 00:52:11,587 --> 00:52:13,338 Mr. President, we need a plan. 516 00:52:13,589 --> 00:52:16,674 This may be our last chance to get the hostages out. 517 00:52:17,593 --> 00:52:18,802 All right. 518 00:52:19,094 --> 00:52:21,763 Here's where we are and here is where they are. 519 00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:24,933 - Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. - Oh, no time for prayer, Bob. 520 00:52:25,100 --> 00:52:27,769 - Here's the target area. - That's Minnesota, sir. 521 00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:30,438 Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. 522 00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:34,484 Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home. 523 00:52:34,693 --> 00:52:38,446 - Sir, the enemy is over there. - Then we'll fly them over here. 524 00:52:38,614 --> 00:52:41,324 Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... 525 00:52:41,534 --> 00:52:44,786 - Do I have to think of everything? - But the hostages! 526 00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:47,789 It is imperative that you act now! 527 00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:56,130 Topper? 528 00:52:58,592 --> 00:52:59,634 Whoooaaa. 529 00:53:06,809 --> 00:53:08,476 Topper! You made it! 530 00:53:12,857 --> 00:53:15,817 That's right, Cindy, it's 23 minutes past the hour. 531 00:53:15,985 --> 00:53:20,029 And now here's the Buckinghams with Kind of a Drag. 532 00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:28,204 You're bleeding. 533 00:53:28,664 --> 00:53:30,164 I'll be all right. 534 00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:33,418 Something else bothers me a lot more. 535 00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:38,423 Harbinger, where were you when the patrol boat arrived? 536 00:53:38,841 --> 00:53:42,051 Below, sweeping the boat for bombs. What are you accusing me of? 537 00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:46,180 Nothing, yet. But I want you to know I smell a rat. 538 00:53:46,348 --> 00:53:49,267 Don't push me. Before you bagged your first babe, 539 00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:52,562 I was slitting throats for a living. 540 00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:57,859 I'm not saying I don't trust you, and I'm not saying I do. But I don't. 541 00:53:58,068 --> 00:54:00,570 Save it for the enemy. We got a job to do. 542 00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:10,955 Oh, look. I'm cut too. 543 00:54:11,206 --> 00:54:12,206 Oh. 544 00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:17,712 They got me too. It's a real gusher. 545 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,215 Let's get going. 546 00:54:50,955 --> 00:54:53,081 There's a guard at the gate. 547 00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:54,958 He's mine. 548 00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:56,834 Wait here. 549 00:54:58,462 --> 00:54:59,754 Topper. 550 00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:06,761 - Topper. - Jesus! 551 00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:09,597 Before we go in, you should know something. 552 00:55:09,848 --> 00:55:13,267 - What now? - Have you heard of Dexter Hayman? 553 00:55:13,477 --> 00:55:14,978 The freedom fighter? 554 00:55:15,187 --> 00:55:19,357 Yeah, he won the Nobel Prize for inventing the artificial appendix. 555 00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:23,528 Exactly. Dexter is one of the captives. 556 00:55:24,446 --> 00:55:27,115 - He's my husband. - You've got to be joking. 557 00:55:27,324 --> 00:55:29,367 If I was joking, I would say, 558 00:55:29,618 --> 00:55:32,620 "A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar..." 559 00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:34,330 Okay, he is your husband. 560 00:55:34,540 --> 00:55:37,375 Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl. 561 00:55:37,626 --> 00:55:40,670 He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world. 562 00:55:41,005 --> 00:55:44,173 He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day. 563 00:55:44,383 --> 00:55:46,884 I so admired his persistence. 564 00:55:47,136 --> 00:55:51,139 Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him was no deterrent. 565 00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:56,019 He opened my eyes to the arts, music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania. 566 00:55:56,687 --> 00:55:59,230 His work has meant so much to so many. 567 00:55:59,648 --> 00:56:01,983 And I owe him everything, Topper. 568 00:56:02,234 --> 00:56:03,317 Everything. 569 00:56:03,485 --> 00:56:05,486 I'm happy for you, kid. 570 00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:09,407 But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. 571 00:56:09,825 --> 00:56:12,326 I left my heart in my other pants. 572 00:57:22,064 --> 00:57:23,231 Go. 573 00:57:34,159 --> 00:57:35,201 Oy! 574 00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:41,499 Ah! 575 00:57:43,252 --> 00:57:45,128 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 576 00:59:10,505 --> 00:59:11,547 Ah! 577 00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:28,522 Mm! 578 00:59:37,658 --> 00:59:39,408 Cock-a-doodle-doo. 579 00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:44,288 The Iraqi coast. 580 00:59:44,539 --> 00:59:47,250 Oh, those bluffs look treacherous. 581 00:59:48,752 --> 00:59:50,253 Hadn't counted on that. 582 00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:55,049 But if God is on our side, we will rendezvous on Lincoln's wart by noon. 583 00:59:55,550 --> 00:59:57,134 That's it, men. 584 00:59:58,971 --> 01:00:00,471 We're going in! 585 01:00:02,891 --> 01:00:04,892 My rescue mission was underway. 586 01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:07,937 But two things kept running through my mind. 587 01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:10,147 Would we get to the men in time? 588 01:00:10,399 --> 01:00:12,900 And why did I bring helium instead of air? 589 01:00:23,662 --> 01:00:25,246 I'll go to the rear. 590 01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:30,501 Take the front door. 591 01:01:00,157 --> 01:01:02,199 The keys. 592 01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:10,393 - What? - Enough! 593 01:02:50,308 --> 01:02:51,392 I'll have a hamburger. 594 01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:04,905 - Where are the prisoners? - There. 595 01:03:05,115 --> 01:03:07,950 - Let's go! - I'll take the back gate. 596 01:03:18,253 --> 01:03:20,504 Now, that's a hell of a gun. 597 01:03:24,426 --> 01:03:27,761 - Where's Dexter Hayman? - Villa compound 405. 598 01:03:38,023 --> 01:03:41,275 Okay. I'm here. 599 01:03:41,485 --> 01:03:43,194 "Terrorist Mountain." 600 01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:46,947 "It's a Small War." "Pirates of the Persian Gulf." 601 01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:51,619 "Hostage Mover." Ah! "Dexter's Dungeon." 602 01:04:06,134 --> 01:04:08,677 Harbinger, what are you doing here? 603 01:04:09,888 --> 01:04:13,474 I was right, wasn't I? You sabotaged the other missions. 604 01:04:13,725 --> 01:04:16,393 - I find that unacceptable. - You got me wrong. 605 01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:18,145 All these years, 606 01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:21,357 fighting, and shooting and killing. 607 01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:26,737 I just... I can't go on. I... 608 01:04:27,989 --> 01:04:32,660 Hey, hey, hey, rainy face! Hey, proud warrior. 609 01:04:34,579 --> 01:04:38,707 Let the sun come out, you big bad G.I. Joe. 610 01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:44,213 You know, kitten, we all have permission to make mistakes. 611 01:04:45,507 --> 01:04:46,590 It's called "learning." 612 01:04:49,261 --> 01:04:53,055 You give your Uncle Topper 613 01:04:53,515 --> 01:04:55,349 a nice big blow. 614 01:05:18,123 --> 01:05:19,373 I'm done. 615 01:05:23,378 --> 01:05:24,962 Thattaboy. 616 01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:36,724 Thanks. I can kill again. 617 01:05:36,933 --> 01:05:39,226 - You've given me a reason to live. - Good. 618 01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:42,563 Head for the gate. Plenty of bad guys to shoot on the way. 619 01:05:52,657 --> 01:05:57,328 Keeps going, and going, and going, and going. 620 01:05:57,579 --> 01:05:58,996 Nothing outlasts the... 621 01:05:59,623 --> 01:06:00,664 Oh! 622 01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:03,334 Yes! 623 01:06:56,471 --> 01:06:58,389 There's a copter pad half a mile away. 624 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:02,267 - That's our ticket out. - We can't leave. Not without Dexter. 625 01:07:04,312 --> 01:07:05,562 Topper! Watch out! 626 01:07:40,682 --> 01:07:44,184 For a moment there, I thought you were... 627 01:07:44,394 --> 01:07:45,728 Gabriella Sabatini? 628 01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:51,024 I get that all the time. It must be the nose. 629 01:07:51,317 --> 01:07:53,652 Ironically, I haven't picked up a racket in years. 630 01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:56,280 You saved my life. 631 01:07:56,489 --> 01:08:01,452 Topper, no matter what happens, I want you to know that 632 01:08:02,537 --> 01:08:04,496 I never stopped loving you. 633 01:08:06,791 --> 01:08:08,041 Let's move out! 634 01:08:09,669 --> 01:08:11,920 You know how to get to the copter pad. 635 01:08:12,172 --> 01:08:13,881 If I'm not there in 15, you know what to do. 636 01:08:14,132 --> 01:08:18,343 - We get the hell out of here. - No! Wait another 15 minutes. 637 01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:22,097 We could hear gunfire from the compound. 638 01:08:22,307 --> 01:08:25,142 From out of nowhere, a patrol boat appeared. 639 01:08:26,144 --> 01:08:29,188 How would we get past the soldiers on that boat? 640 01:08:29,606 --> 01:08:33,150 Then, suddenly, it happened. 641 01:08:50,251 --> 01:08:51,710 Take cover! 642 01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:00,469 Guys. 643 01:09:02,347 --> 01:09:03,597 Jeez! 644 01:09:04,599 --> 01:09:05,641 That's it, good night. 645 01:09:19,489 --> 01:09:22,574 War. It's fantastic! 646 01:10:16,629 --> 01:10:17,880 Drop the gun! 647 01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:21,884 Drop it! 648 01:10:24,596 --> 01:10:29,641 You will die, Yankee bastard man. How you say? Like a dog. 649 01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:32,644 Now march! 650 01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:36,773 March! 651 01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:45,866 I kill you where you stand, you imperialist Yankee-Doodle dork. 652 01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:14,061 Slippery rascal! 653 01:11:24,322 --> 01:11:25,822 Butcher of Baghdad. Hello? 654 01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:30,369 Well, hello. 655 01:11:30,578 --> 01:11:31,620 Who is it? Who is it? 656 01:11:32,246 --> 01:11:36,917 - Your wife, Hillary Rodham Hussein. - Jesus! I'm so stupid! 657 01:11:37,168 --> 01:11:39,086 I was supposed to pick her up. 658 01:11:39,295 --> 01:11:42,089 Tell her I'm at the gym. No, I'm out of town. 659 01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:45,092 On business. Bombing, gassing, execution. 660 01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:49,221 - Something. Make it up. - I'm sorry. Just missed him. 661 01:11:50,431 --> 01:11:52,224 I owe you one. 662 01:12:03,027 --> 01:12:05,487 Ali MacGraw! My eyes. 663 01:12:09,909 --> 01:12:13,161 You little...! I'm going to split you like a melon! 664 01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:19,209 Now I will kill you until you die from it. 665 01:12:19,460 --> 01:12:20,794 In a pig's ear. 666 01:12:23,006 --> 01:12:25,465 - Mr. President! - Suffering succotash! 667 01:12:25,717 --> 01:12:30,595 Looks like the upper hand is on the other foot, Saddam. 668 01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:31,847 Ah-ha. 669 01:12:34,100 --> 01:12:35,642 Uh-oh! 670 01:12:36,019 --> 01:12:37,019 Yes! 671 01:12:40,023 --> 01:12:41,314 My skin's made of asbestos. 672 01:12:42,025 --> 01:12:44,276 Tanning parlor accident at Dien Bien Phu. 673 01:12:44,485 --> 01:12:48,196 Go on about your business. I got a bone to settle with this guy. 674 01:12:48,448 --> 01:12:50,407 Yes, sir. I'll get Dexter. 675 01:12:50,742 --> 01:12:52,617 Let's make this a fair fight. 676 01:12:58,291 --> 01:13:00,709 I've been waiting for you, O Big One. 677 01:13:00,918 --> 01:13:04,713 We meet at last. The circle is complete. 678 01:13:04,922 --> 01:13:09,551 - Now I am the master! - Only the master of evil, Saddam. 679 01:13:11,012 --> 01:13:13,013 Your powers are... 680 01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,438 Your powers are weak. You shouldn't have come. 681 01:13:21,647 --> 01:13:25,108 Well, I have. We'll settle this the old Navy way. 682 01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:28,028 First guy to die, loses! 683 01:13:37,622 --> 01:13:42,751 Water. Water! Water, please. 684 01:13:44,045 --> 01:13:46,004 - It's locked. From the inside. - No! 685 01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:48,340 - Damn it! - We're gonna die! 686 01:13:48,591 --> 01:13:50,175 - Get ahold of yourself! - Blow it! 687 01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:52,803 - It's not our property. - Do it. Do it! 688 01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:55,889 Oh, Mr. Geppetto! 689 01:13:58,893 --> 01:14:02,229 Go ahead. Shoot. You'll get nothing from me. 690 01:14:02,480 --> 01:14:05,982 You are filth. I spit in the face of filth. 691 01:14:06,234 --> 01:14:09,528 - I've come to get you out of here. - You're American. 692 01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:12,697 Yes, from America. Let's go. 693 01:14:12,907 --> 01:14:16,827 My friend, I yearn for freedom as much as anyone 694 01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:19,204 but I run from no man. 695 01:14:19,413 --> 01:14:20,747 You've got to come with me. 696 01:14:21,582 --> 01:14:23,917 I can't walk. 697 01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:27,129 They've tied my shoelaces together. 698 01:14:29,382 --> 01:14:30,632 A knot. 699 01:14:33,344 --> 01:14:34,594 Bastards. 700 01:14:43,938 --> 01:14:48,108 I'm aborting the mission. Envelope is closed. We're lifting off. 701 01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:52,696 Here you go. It's $4.50. 702 01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:55,407 I didn't think you'd make it. 703 01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:57,534 Onboard. We're getting out. 704 01:14:57,785 --> 01:15:00,620 What about the others? We just can't leave them. 705 01:15:18,848 --> 01:15:23,977 Wait! I can't go any further. I need a drink. 706 01:15:30,193 --> 01:15:32,736 Okay. Right a bit. Whoa, stop there. 707 01:15:32,945 --> 01:15:38,283 Down a bit, down a bit. There. It's not very cold. Is this filtered? 708 01:15:38,618 --> 01:15:41,870 Their artillery will be down on us soon. We have to go. 709 01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:44,331 No! We'll lose Topper and Dexter. 710 01:15:44,916 --> 01:15:48,168 But that's been the idea all along, hasn't it, Michelle? 711 01:15:52,924 --> 01:15:56,426 You're looking beautiful as ever, Ramada. How did you know? 712 01:15:56,636 --> 01:15:59,888 I didn't. It all came together when I saw you here. 713 01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:02,599 I remembered your inscription in my yearbook. 714 01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:05,685 You wrote, "Remember the fun we had in class 715 01:16:05,937 --> 01:16:08,605 "and I'll fuck up your life if it's the last thing I do." 716 01:16:09,482 --> 01:16:12,984 And then I realize where I had last seen this. 717 01:16:21,202 --> 01:16:24,246 What could I have done to make you so vindictive? 718 01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:27,290 Goodness sake. You know each other. 719 01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:30,085 Oh, Ramada, how could you have been so blind? 720 01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:34,089 You were too wrapped up in being Miss Perfect College to notice me. 721 01:16:34,298 --> 01:16:38,301 Why concern yourself with the feelings of one insignificant roommate? 722 01:16:38,511 --> 01:16:43,556 One fabulous day, one incredible experience. 723 01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:45,976 I had no idea it meant so much to you. 724 01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:48,520 I remember that day as if it were yesterday. 725 01:16:48,729 --> 01:16:50,772 The exhilaration of experimenting, 726 01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:54,943 sharing something so new, so dangerous, 727 01:16:55,194 --> 01:16:58,989 - so intimate. - Go on. 728 01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:01,825 And I'll never forget the look on your face. 729 01:17:02,034 --> 01:17:04,536 The way the sweat glistened on your hard body. 730 01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:06,538 Then you tied my ankles. 731 01:17:06,747 --> 01:17:09,916 Tighter. Tighter. 732 01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:13,420 But it just wasn't right. It wasn't natural. 733 01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:16,840 Bungee-jumping is just too dangerous a sport. 734 01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:18,967 Bungee-jumping? That's it? 735 01:17:20,261 --> 01:17:23,054 How could you hurt so many innocent people? 736 01:17:23,264 --> 01:17:26,099 Oh, Ramada! It was always so easy for you. 737 01:17:26,350 --> 01:17:27,767 How could you understand? 738 01:17:29,770 --> 01:17:32,939 I had Dexter imprisoned because I wanted you to suffer 739 01:17:33,149 --> 01:17:35,942 - as much as you made me suffer. - You fool! 740 01:17:39,613 --> 01:17:42,574 When I discovered I couldn't win Topper because 741 01:17:42,783 --> 01:17:45,368 he loved you, I tried to have you killed. 742 01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:49,539 He... He still loves me. 743 01:17:52,710 --> 01:17:54,419 You turned your back on America 744 01:17:55,546 --> 01:17:58,673 because of your jealousy. You're gonna pay for this. 745 01:18:07,767 --> 01:18:09,017 Good doggy! 746 01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:26,242 Ew. 747 01:18:26,369 --> 01:18:27,994 Ah-huh! 748 01:18:30,623 --> 01:18:33,792 Aluminum siding. Ten-year guarantee. No paint needed. 749 01:19:05,574 --> 01:19:06,616 Hm. 750 01:19:27,638 --> 01:19:30,682 Do you have any idea where you're going? 751 01:19:31,725 --> 01:19:33,601 Ha! You missed! 752 01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:37,564 It'll take more than that to stop me, you devils! 753 01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:39,190 Don't jiggle me. 754 01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:43,319 Advil! Midol! Get over here! To the helicopter. 755 01:19:43,571 --> 01:19:46,531 They dicked with the wrong dictator. 756 01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:48,616 This means war! 757 01:19:51,829 --> 01:19:53,830 You better let me handle this, son. 758 01:19:55,166 --> 01:19:56,791 Ew. You're so sweaty. 759 01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,002 - I knew you'd make it. - It's about time. 760 01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:04,299 - Michelle. - She's our saboteur. 761 01:20:05,593 --> 01:20:07,844 Can you get me off for old times' sake? 762 01:20:08,053 --> 01:20:12,682 Sorry, precious. You sold out the greatest country in the world. 763 01:20:13,100 --> 01:20:17,187 And to think I wore your mole. Get her out of here. 764 01:20:21,984 --> 01:20:23,568 Dexter? 765 01:20:24,653 --> 01:20:25,945 Ramada. 766 01:20:30,993 --> 01:20:35,163 Oh, dear Dexter. Look what they've done to your shoelaces. 767 01:20:35,372 --> 01:20:39,959 Oh, my darling. You've no idea what I've just been through. 768 01:20:40,211 --> 01:20:43,796 But now we're together again. We have much to look forward to. 769 01:20:44,048 --> 01:20:48,176 I want to do it all. Donahue. Geraldo. 770 01:20:48,385 --> 01:20:52,263 Sally Jessy. Oh, and who's that black chick? 771 01:20:53,766 --> 01:20:56,809 - Oprah. - Yes! Yes. Her too. 772 01:21:02,274 --> 01:21:04,734 Let's go! It's getting hot here. 773 01:21:04,944 --> 01:21:06,986 I'm going back for the president. 774 01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:08,696 Topper! 775 01:21:09,740 --> 01:21:11,407 I'm staying here with you. 776 01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:14,661 Get on that helicopter with Dexter, where you belong. 777 01:21:14,912 --> 01:21:17,121 Why? I thought you loved me. 778 01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:20,083 Ramada, I do love you. I've tried to forget you 779 01:21:20,334 --> 01:21:23,461 but no matter what, your face is on the tip of my tongue. 780 01:21:23,671 --> 01:21:24,837 Then let me stay with you. 781 01:21:25,047 --> 01:21:28,341 Ramada, I want to be with you. I want to hold you. 782 01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:30,635 Meet your parents and pet your dog. 783 01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:33,346 My parents are dead. My dog ate them. 784 01:21:33,973 --> 01:21:37,934 I'm sorry. We both know you belong with Dexter. 785 01:21:38,185 --> 01:21:41,062 You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. 786 01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:45,608 I'm not being noble, but do you have any idea what'd happen if you stay? 787 01:21:45,859 --> 01:21:47,110 Of course I do. 788 01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:51,656 Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex. 789 01:21:51,907 --> 01:21:54,409 I'd fondle you in ways you can't imagine. 790 01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:58,371 I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way, 791 01:21:58,622 --> 01:22:01,082 for as long as you could possibly desire. 792 01:22:09,383 --> 01:22:12,218 You better get going. You'll miss your takeoff. 793 01:22:15,097 --> 01:22:18,766 Goodbye, Topper. God bless you. 794 01:22:19,018 --> 01:22:21,603 Wait, let me get a shot of you two. 795 01:22:21,854 --> 01:22:25,231 It'll be great for the talk shows. Let's frame this up. 796 01:22:25,482 --> 01:22:29,319 Closer together. Come on. Don't be shy. 797 01:22:29,528 --> 01:22:30,695 Put your arm around her. 798 01:22:31,447 --> 01:22:33,823 I've almost got it. This is a great shot. 799 01:22:34,033 --> 01:22:36,284 My God, you're gonna love this! 800 01:22:36,910 --> 01:22:41,205 You know, under other circumstances, you'd make a great couple. 801 01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:44,959 Oh, well. Say che... 802 01:22:45,544 --> 01:22:48,296 You're moving too much. Quit spinning! 803 01:22:48,505 --> 01:22:50,173 This'll make me rich and f... 804 01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:55,303 - He really was a wiener! - Don't get me started. 805 01:22:55,554 --> 01:22:58,598 Hold it there! Hold it! 806 01:22:59,683 --> 01:23:02,185 This buggy going to America? 807 01:23:02,394 --> 01:23:04,020 I was afraid we'd lost you! 808 01:23:04,229 --> 01:23:05,647 Lost? Not a chance. 809 01:23:05,856 --> 01:23:07,940 Shove over! I get the window seat. 810 01:23:15,449 --> 01:23:18,576 - They're in my sights. - Just a second! This is personal. 811 01:23:22,790 --> 01:23:25,083 We're too heavy. We need to lose weight. 812 01:28:23,048 --> 01:28:25,633 Hot Shots! Part Deux was filmed in Hollywood 813 01:28:25,842 --> 01:28:27,885 in front of a live studio audience.