1 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:39,324 - I swear, if'n you don't learn to share this honey... 2 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,594 I'm gonna give you a real whuppin: 3 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:44,967 Now go on! 4 00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:02,355 - Is the doctor in? - No doubt about it. 5 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:06,415 - What's ailin' ya, Fat Elmer? - I et too much cheese. 6 00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,427 Now I can't burp. 7 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,897 Can ya fix me, Granny? 8 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,049 Dang. 9 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,260 Before I sign anything... 10 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,802 I want to know how much money we're talkin' about. 11 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,803 Mr. Clampett, there's more petroleum in your swamp... 12 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:34,635 than there is in all of Kuwait. 13 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,903 - That bad, huh? - Mr. Clampett... 14 00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:42,449 you are sitting on the biggest domestic oil strike in history. 15 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:46,451 And when you sign these contracts, we're going to pay you one billion dollars. 16 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,956 Do you have anybody who can advise you on these contracts? 17 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,892 Cousin jethro's a-comin'tomorrow night for Sunday supper, Pa. 18 00:04:56,997 --> 00:05:00,160 He's the one with the learnin'. He went to school at Oxford. 19 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,049 - Jethro. - Yes, Ma? 20 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,414 Did you fix those bare-as-bones brakes like I told you? 21 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:21,420 Of course. I pulled 'em off yesterday. 22 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:24,650 The new ones are comin' in the mail next week. 23 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,940 - Jethro! - Howdy, Granny. 24 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:45,500 Oh! You dadblamed simpleminded yahoo! 25 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:49,104 Your crack-bucket head's emptier than last year's bird's nest. 26 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,980 If your head was filled with dynamite... 27 00:05:52,086 --> 00:05:53,986 - Ow! Ow! - You wouldn't know how to blow your nose! 28 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,079 - You... - Ow! 29 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,215 - Granny! Ow! Granny! - Just get out of my sight! 30 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,892 Now, jedediah... 31 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,396 you're fixin' to be the richest man in this here county. 32 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:10,801 Look at how you live. Why, your land's overrun with snakes and skunks. 33 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:14,237 You got no TV, no telephone and no radio. 34 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:19,804 You're right, Pearl. We are a-livin'in paradise. 35 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:23,405 No, Jed! Paradise is someplace like... 36 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,417 Beverly Hills, Californy. 37 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:28,079 - They got swimmin'pools. - Mm-hmm. 38 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,486 - And movie stars. - And smog. 39 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:33,560 What's a smog? 40 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,963 I reckon it's a small hog. 41 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:46,096 Now, if you're not gonna think about yourself, think about your daughter. 42 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:49,403 You need to get remarried, jed, and she needs a ma... 43 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,740 someone to teach her womanly ways. 44 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:56,407 - She's runnin'wild, jed. She's no different than a boy. 45 00:06:56,517 --> 00:07:00,613 Imagine that. Elly May wearin'fancy dresses... 46 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,588 and actin' ladylike! 47 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:07,649 Well, that don't sound like much fun. 48 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:14,462 Beverly Hills. 49 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,798 Listen to what I'm sayin: jed. 50 00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,374 It would be the best thing for y'all. 51 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:24,911 Just pack up all your belongin's and move on out there. 52 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,948 Jethro could drive you out in his truck. 53 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:32,883 I ain't drivin' in no movin' vehicle with no dunderhead. 54 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,011 I ain't no dunderhead. 55 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:40,326 - Come on! Put me down! - Set him down. 56 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:47,325 - See what I mean? - Who are you, mister? 57 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:50,665 Ozark Mountain Oil. Mr. Briggs sent me to see if you'd signed the contract. 58 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,864 - Oh, my. - Elly May Clampett. 59 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,572 Well, that's it. 60 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,645 I've made my decision. 61 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,845 For the good of this here family... 62 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,009 I'm a-movin' us to Beverly Hills. 63 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:12,218 Now, don't you worry, Elly May. 64 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:16,558 - We gonna take good care of your critters for ya. - Okay, Sam. I know you will. 65 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,825 Oh, Ma! 66 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:31,103 What's all this I hear about you not wantin' to go to Californy? 67 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,441 I like it here. Say what you will... 68 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:36,778 but there ain't nothin' you can do to get me off of this rockin' chair. 69 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,947 - I ain't goin' nowheres! Cut me loose! - It's a long ride to Californy. 70 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,081 Jedediah Clampett, I'm gonna skin you alive! 71 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,752 Hush up, Granny. 72 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,954 Get goin', boy, before she breaks loose. 73 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,928 I ain't a-goin:! 74 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,318 Watch your head, Granny. 75 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,373 There's so many people in this here town. 76 00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:39,775 Goin' to take a long time to meet everybody. 77 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,781 Hey! Nice wheels, buddy! 78 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:48,150 - Jethro, why do you think that feller's pointin' at us? 79 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,452 I reckon that's the way they wave "howdy" in Californy. 80 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,629 - Has, uh... - Uh.! Excuse us.! 81 00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,757 Has escrow closed on the Clampett estate? 82 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:04,200 Yes, chief. With an offer of 22 million in cash, it closed swiftly. 83 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,204 And I must say, it is inspirational... 84 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:09,139 how you happened to find a place for the Clampetts right next-door to your own. 85 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,142 Hathaway, the people who lived there... 86 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,838 were my best friends and neighbors for over 20 years. 87 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,881 It's a shame they had to file for bankruptcy. 88 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:21,148 Yeah. I just hope my call to the I.R.S. didn't have anything to do with it. Well. 89 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:30,859 - Now, um, what time does their fight arrive? - That's just it, chief. 90 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,023 - They're driving. - Driving? 91 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,794 From Arkansas? 92 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,131 I know it makes no sense whatsoever. 93 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,535 Not to you, perhaps. 94 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,870 But to a man with vision, like myself... 95 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:46,378 - That is a sign of daring, self-confidence, vigor. - Of course, chief. 96 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,347 Hmm. Doesn't he look busy at work. 97 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,545 Tyler. 98 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:57,818 - Would you step in here for a moment, please. - Oh! 99 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,760 - Geez. - It's an earthquake.! 100 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,892 Oh. 101 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:25,680 - You wanted to consult with me? - Sit down, Tyler. Relax. 102 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:30,782 I have heard that you are quite excited about the arrival of the Clampetts. 103 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,519 I think that you and I, together... 104 00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:37,723 can fully exploit the potential of the Clampett financial portfolio. 105 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:40,391 Hmm. 106 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,765 You and I. The two of us. 107 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,896 I've already taken the liberty of drawing up the power of attorney papers. 108 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,602 - Have you now? - So I can write checks, arrange investments... 109 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,872 make international transactions. 110 00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:55,573 - Really work the Clampett account. - Hmm. 111 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,206 We'll be quite the team, sir. 112 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,478 Mmm. 113 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,289 Tyler, you will personally rescind, shred and burn... 114 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,258 every paper you have drawn up with regard to the Clampett account. 115 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:12,389 - I'll be handling that account personally. - Duly noted. 116 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,660 And nice kick, sir. 117 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,793 Took me completely by surprise. 118 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:21,139 Tyler. 119 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,802 - The Clampetts will not be badgered. - Sir? 120 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,675 They are not your common garden-variety millionaires. 121 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:31,649 They are, in fact, billionaires. 122 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:36,121 By definition, people of, uh, discrimination... 123 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:39,590 discernment, great refinement. 124 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,628 Boy, howdy.! 125 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:48,596 Hey! Jethro, we's supposed to go thataway. 126 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,472 Hey! You cut us off, you bunch of nothin's! 127 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,847 That's real nice, son. 128 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,855 This here's what I carry. 129 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,492 Okay. Go! Go, go! 130 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,099 Margaret! 131 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,404 Morgan, come in here a minute, please. 132 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,838 Hi. I'm Doug Llewelyn, and welcome to the People's Court. 133 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,342 Where is your mother? 134 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,412 She's changing. 135 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,913 That would be too much to hope for. 136 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:39,110 - Oh. - Milburn, I'm sorry. I have to cancel our lunch. 137 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:42,382 - What? - I have to spend more quality time with Babette. 138 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:47,722 Margaret, dear, we are trying to do more things together... put the spark back, remember? 139 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:50,194 You claim the defendant has your dog? 140 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,197 - Um, well, actually... - Yes or no? 141 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,824 - Yes, we do. - Morgan. Morgan. - It's my dog. 142 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:58,166 - It's your dog? - Yes. I raised this dog from a pup, and due to... 143 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:03,740 Morgan, I have a little job for you. 144 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:07,746 - Ajob? - Yes. J.D. Clampett has a daughter your age. 145 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,975 Now, she's goin' to high school with you. 146 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,983 I want you to show her around. 147 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:14,781 - Just be her friend. - Oh, man. 148 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:17,322 You wanna pay me to hang out with her? 149 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:20,655 She must be a major bowwow. 150 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,728 Son. 151 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,854 Morgan. 152 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,297 Close your eyes. 153 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,630 Close your eyes. 154 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,704 Now picture this. 155 00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,705 I cut off your allowance... 156 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,707 Cancel your credit cards... 157 00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,936 And delete you from my will. 158 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:41,070 Now, how do you see your future? 159 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,809 Grilling frozen cow parts at Burger King? 160 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:49,015 And people say you're stupid. 161 00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:51,454 Monday morning, first period, 8:00 a. M... 162 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,719 she'll be like the little sister Mom thought would ruin her figure. 163 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:02,961 - The dog will go to the plaintiff, Rusty. 164 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,084 Honey, I'm home. 165 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:30,788 Why don't you come here and give your little embezzling cowboy a ride around the bungalow. 166 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:33,491 - No. - Why not? 167 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,798 'Cause I'm still living in this dump when I should be living in a mansion in Beverly Hills. 168 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:40,134 Laura, sweetheart. 169 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,437 Bungalows 3A, 3B and 3C are in Los Angeles. 170 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:47,035 We live in 3G which, technically, is in Beverly Hills. 171 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,944 You're all talk, Tyler. 172 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,108 You said we'd have enough money this month... 173 00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:53,708 to buy me that little baby sealskin coat. 174 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:57,153 - We will. - Promises, promises. 175 00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,157 Sweetie, we will. 176 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:02,695 J.D. Clampett, the billionaire, just opened up an account at the bank. 177 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,889 Who is this Clampett guy? 178 00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:07,466 If he's so rich, how come I've never heard of him? 179 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:11,298 Baby cakes, this guy's got more money than he knows what to do with. 180 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:14,498 Now, that's a problem I think we can help him with. 181 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,912 Stop the car, Jethro! 182 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,915 They's a fresh kill in the road. 183 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,178 - Can't just leave it there. - You're right, Granny. 184 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,811 Roadkill stew sounds mighty good right now. 185 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,984 Oh, no, you don't, you old coot! I seen it first! 186 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,586 - Milburn, call Westec Security. - Well, I... 187 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,688 I'm sure there's enough for us all. 188 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:42,529 Eww! How revolting. 189 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:45,695 Easy now, Granny. They're probablyjust bein'neighborly... 190 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,740 like them nice folks we met on that extry-wide road. 191 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,106 Well, let's give 'em a Californy howdy. 192 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,105 - Howdy, y'all.! - Howdy.! 193 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:58,184 Milburn! 194 00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,252 Did you fip me off? 195 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,149 You reckon we're at the wrong spot, UncleJed? 196 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:42,160 Could be. Don't know. 197 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,890 It's the right address, Pa. 198 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,990 Whee doggies! 199 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,267 The whole place looks brand-new. 200 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,872 Hey, UncleJed, there's a whole 'nother house up here. 201 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,554 This is a big ol'house. 202 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,180 Why do you reckon they got two sets of steps? 203 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,384 That's easy. 204 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:49,894 One's for goin' up. The other's for goin' down. 205 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,055 Oh. 206 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,666 What a pretty critter. 207 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,170 Hello, police? This is Miss Jane Hathaway. 208 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,241 I wish to report the unlawful entry... 209 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,970 of a gang of armed and dangerous hooligans at the Clampett estate. 210 00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:07,842 518 Crestview Drive. 211 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:12,680 - I need you here code three, and I will be timing you. 212 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,652 I think you got you a new friend, Duke. 213 00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:20,550 Cease and desist.! Everyone.! 214 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,424 If I were you, sir, I would yield, submit and capitulate. 215 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:27,728 What are you desperadoes doing here? 216 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,565 - Well, it's a mighty long story. - But he don't mind tellin' it. 217 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,334 - Pa was a-huntin' one day with old Duke. - Duke spotted this jackrabbit. 218 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:39,036 - So I throws up my gun, and I takes my aim... - Don't shoot! 219 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,511 Pardon, ma'am? 220 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:48,484 Two minutes and 46 seconds. 221 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:54,083 Go.! Go.! Go.! 222 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,962 I need three men over there on the south side.! 223 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:04,094 Attention, inside.! You're surrounded.! 224 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,968 Drop your weapons and file out one at a time.! 225 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:10,634 - Don't shoot! Oh! They've taken me hostage! - Attention, inside.! 226 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:14,144 Drop your weapons and file out one at a time! 227 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,374 This is the Beverly Hills Police Department. 228 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,382 Told you this warn't no house. 229 00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:22,045 - You heard him. It's the police department. - This is your last warning.! 230 00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:25,056 All right! Fire one in! 231 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,793 Look. 232 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,556 They's a-playin' kick the can. 233 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,012 Move in! 234 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,584 I knew we shouldn't have never left home. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! 235 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:56,655 Right this way. We've I.D. 'd them all. 236 00:20:56,756 --> 00:21:00,157 - Excellent. - We want the wheels of justice to spin quickly. 237 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,820 These criminals must be prosecuted and incarcerated... 238 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,829 before our client finds out what happened. 239 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,922 Exactly. 240 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:10,332 The reputation of Milburn Drysdale is at stake. 241 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,064 Would everyone turn to the right, please. 242 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,868 Huh.! Hmm.! Pathetic. 243 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:21,105 Now we have, starting on the left, a Jedediah Clampett. 244 00:21:21,214 --> 00:21:23,205 - Then, next to him, his daughter, Elly May. - Huh? 245 00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:27,343 And a Daisy Mae Moses, a. k. a. "Granny. " 246 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,115 And a nephew, jethro Bodine. 247 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,689 And some woman involved in a drive-by slapping. 248 00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:42,400 Oh, chief. Chief. Are you okay? 249 00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:44,732 Chief. Quickly! Say something! 250 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:47,533 Say something! 251 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:52,373 You're fired! 252 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:56,209 Mr. Clampett, sir! I am deeply sorry... 253 00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:59,251 for any embarrassment my former assistant might have caused you. 254 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:02,321 - L-I... - Yes, sir. L-I... 255 00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:05,084 I- I humbly apologize for my egregious error. 256 00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,250 And rest assured that it will never happen again... 257 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,328 as I am no longer in the employ of the bank. 258 00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:12,762 Chief, Mr. Drysdale, I will clean out my desk at once. 259 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:18,030 Oh, dear.! Oh, please, don't trouble yourselves. 260 00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:20,196 Please, gentlemen. Oh. Oh, thank you. Don't trouble yourselves. 261 00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:23,332 Oh, I'm... Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, thank... No. 262 00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:27,974 So, then everything is fine? 263 00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:31,847 Mr. Clampett, please don't take your money from my bank. 264 00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:36,251 I'll do anything you want. I'll contribute to charities, anything. 265 00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:38,790 I'll eat mud. 266 00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:40,859 That won't be necessary. 267 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,726 All I want is for this here lady to watch over my affairs. 268 00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:48,631 Me? You want me? 269 00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,896 Well, I reckon you done what you done... 270 00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:53,563 'cause you didn't know we was who we was. 271 00:22:53,673 --> 00:22:55,607 And if we hadn't have been who we was... 272 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:58,768 we'd have still been much obliged for you a-doin' what you done. 273 00:23:00,012 --> 00:23:03,812 Mr. Clampett, I will work very hard for you. 274 00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:05,781 I trust you will. 275 00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:08,445 Is that all right with you, Mr. Drysdale? 276 00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:10,681 That's exactly what I'd do in your situation. 277 00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,758 - So we got ourselves a deal. - Ah! 278 00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:16,894 Absolutely! 279 00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:19,055 Yeah. 280 00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:24,135 Just to show you there's no hard feelin's... 281 00:23:24,237 --> 00:23:26,762 we'd like to invite you and your family to Sunday supper. 282 00:23:26,873 --> 00:23:30,502 - Thank you. We'll be there. - It'll give me the opportunity to swap recipes with your wife. 283 00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:32,510 Oh, she'd love that. 284 00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:38,650 Here you go. 285 00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:45,847 - What-What are you doing? - We're just payin' our respects. 286 00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:48,119 - You... - Oh. 287 00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:50,718 Oh. Oh, no. This is a limousine. 288 00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:53,162 You'll be going home in this. 289 00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:55,962 You take this, and I'll follow you in my Rolls-Royce. 290 00:23:57,270 --> 00:24:00,637 - There you go. - Is that your car? 291 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:03,903 - Yes, it is. - Ain't that fancy! 292 00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:06,740 Can I drive it? 293 00:24:06,846 --> 00:24:10,282 You drive my $180,000 Rolls-Royce? 294 00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:16,212 Uh, well, of course you can, son. I think that's a great idea. 295 00:24:16,322 --> 00:24:18,222 Hot dog! 296 00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:49,821 Howdy! 297 00:24:50,857 --> 00:24:54,384 Oh, isn't this exciting? 298 00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:56,894 Elly May Clampett, sit down! 299 00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:04,095 Oh, excuse me. 300 00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:06,569 Hello. 301 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:08,867 Let Mr... Let Mr. Clampett know... 302 00:25:08,975 --> 00:25:11,842 that the full weight of the bank is ready to help them. 303 00:25:11,944 --> 00:25:15,277 - Yes, chief. - She thinks she's talkin' to somebody. 304 00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:18,942 Ain't even a cord there. 305 00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:21,747 Like real estate, bonds, securities. 306 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:24,721 Whatever it is he wants, it's his. 307 00:25:24,824 --> 00:25:29,090 Mr. Drysdale wants you to know that the bank is ready to help in any way that it can. 308 00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:32,028 There's one reason and one reason only I moved out here. 309 00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:34,966 I'm lookin' to get hitched. 310 00:25:36,102 --> 00:25:37,967 Chief, he says he wants to get hitched. 311 00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:41,039 - "Hitched"? - Married. 312 00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:44,200 - Married? - Chief, that's what I said. 313 00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:48,269 Miss Hathaway, if... if Clampett wants a wife... 314 00:25:48,381 --> 00:25:50,815 tell him that you will personally find him one. 315 00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:55,047 Oh, chief, capable as I may be, matrimonial brokering is... 316 00:25:55,154 --> 00:25:57,054 Is now one of your specialties. 317 00:25:57,156 --> 00:26:00,250 Congratulations, Miss Hathaway, and good luck. 318 00:26:01,761 --> 00:26:04,696 Yes, sir. Oh, dear. 319 00:26:04,797 --> 00:26:08,289 No problem. Uh, Mr. Clampett. 320 00:26:08,401 --> 00:26:13,065 Just exactly what are you looking for in a fiancée? 321 00:26:13,172 --> 00:26:15,572 A "fiancée"? 322 00:26:15,675 --> 00:26:18,667 "Fiancée"is French for the person you intend to marry. 323 00:26:18,778 --> 00:26:21,303 Well, I'm lookin' for a refined lady... 324 00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:24,008 to help me raise my daughter, Elly May. 325 00:26:24,116 --> 00:26:26,584 Aw, Pa, I'm already raised up. 326 00:26:29,188 --> 00:26:31,088 And refined. 327 00:26:31,190 --> 00:26:34,125 - Ah. - Elly May, don't spit from a movin' vehicle. 328 00:26:35,461 --> 00:26:37,622 Wait till it stops. 329 00:26:43,069 --> 00:26:45,537 Jethro, save some for our guests. 330 00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:52,036 Here you go, Unclejed. 331 00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:00,950 I think old Duke is sweet on your critter. 332 00:27:01,053 --> 00:27:04,955 She's not a critter. She's a champion French "Barbonet. " 333 00:27:05,057 --> 00:27:09,619 And her purebred puppies are gonna be worth $3,000 each. 334 00:27:09,729 --> 00:27:12,459 Uh, son, what, uh... What do you do? 335 00:27:12,565 --> 00:27:14,692 Don't know. What do you do? 336 00:27:15,768 --> 00:27:17,668 Oh, I'm just president of a bank. 337 00:27:17,770 --> 00:27:21,137 Wow. UncleJed, can I be a president too? 338 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:25,700 Now, Jethro, that's a mighty disrespectful thing to say to Mr. Drysdale. 339 00:27:25,811 --> 00:27:29,508 - No. - Ask him if you can be vice president. 340 00:27:29,615 --> 00:27:33,813 Vice president. 341 00:27:33,919 --> 00:27:36,319 Uh-huh. 342 00:27:50,403 --> 00:27:53,998 Vice president. Mm-hmm. I think so. 343 00:27:54,106 --> 00:27:56,233 We can... We can always use another good man. 344 00:27:56,342 --> 00:28:01,211 Hoo-whee. I'm gonna get me a fancy offiice and a pretty secretary. 345 00:28:01,313 --> 00:28:05,409 There's them bells again. 346 00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:09,579 Jethro, I bet you there's somebody standin'at that front door right now. 347 00:28:13,993 --> 00:28:16,928 If I was you, I'd eat real quick whilst he's gone. 348 00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:21,125 Oh, that's good. Margaret, why don't you help yourself, dear. 349 00:28:21,233 --> 00:28:23,963 - Oh, good Lord. - What is it? 350 00:28:28,007 --> 00:28:30,635 - Howdy, mister. - Hi. I'm Woodrow Tyler. 351 00:28:30,743 --> 00:28:33,769 - I'm here to seeJed Clampett. - Well, come on in. 352 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:37,182 No, no. No. 353 00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:45,720 - Tyler. Well, what brings you here? - Sir, hello. 354 00:28:45,825 --> 00:28:50,558 We took up a collection to buy these beautiful flowers for our newest clients. 355 00:28:50,663 --> 00:28:53,063 Welcome to Beverly Hills. 356 00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:55,258 Well, thank you, sonny. 357 00:28:55,367 --> 00:29:01,237 Tyler, can the ham. Just introduce yourself and get out of here, okay? 358 00:29:01,340 --> 00:29:04,434 - Very pleased to meet you. - Howdy! 359 00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:11,080 Elly May Clampett! 360 00:29:11,183 --> 00:29:14,152 - He was fixin' to bite my hand. - Well, stand him up. 361 00:29:17,723 --> 00:29:21,124 - Tyler, apologize. - My fault completely, Mr. Clampett. 362 00:29:21,227 --> 00:29:22,922 I moved too quickly. 363 00:29:23,028 --> 00:29:26,520 You have a beautiful daughter... and very strong. 364 00:29:26,632 --> 00:29:29,465 - Mrs. Drysdale. - Hmm? 365 00:29:29,568 --> 00:29:32,594 What could help Elly May be as refined as you? 366 00:29:32,705 --> 00:29:35,606 Well, I went to finishing school in France. 367 00:29:35,708 --> 00:29:40,008 No one understands refinement and sophistication better than the French. 368 00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:44,310 Hmm. Do you think we ought to move ourselves to France? 369 00:29:44,416 --> 00:29:47,112 - Yes, I do. - No, you don't. No, she doesn't. 370 00:29:47,219 --> 00:29:50,711 Actually, you can find a good French tutor that'll come right to your home. 371 00:29:52,224 --> 00:29:55,455 I don't wanna change. I just wanna be who I am. 372 00:29:55,561 --> 00:29:58,621 - And I ain't goin'to no France.! - Oh, my. 373 00:29:59,732 --> 00:30:02,292 Excuse me. 374 00:30:02,401 --> 00:30:04,995 - Mrs. Drysdale. - Hmm? 375 00:30:05,104 --> 00:30:07,038 If you ain't gonna eat them vittles, can I have 'em? 376 00:30:08,207 --> 00:30:11,540 Of course you can, son. Bon appétit. 377 00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:13,612 Thank you. 378 00:30:22,087 --> 00:30:25,079 Elly May, come on down here. 379 00:30:30,095 --> 00:30:33,587 - How'd you know where I was, Pa? - 'Cause ever since you could walk... 380 00:30:33,699 --> 00:30:36,759 you've been climbin' trees and cuddlin' with your critters. 381 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:51,710 It's high time you started thinkin' about changin' some things. 382 00:30:51,817 --> 00:30:54,809 You need to start wearin' dresses and fixin' up nice. 383 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,151 But, Pa, folks would call me a sissy. 384 00:30:58,257 --> 00:31:00,817 It ain't sissy for girls to act like girls. 385 00:31:02,595 --> 00:31:06,156 Ever since your ma died, I done what I knew best... 386 00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:08,699 and raised you up like a boy... 387 00:31:08,801 --> 00:31:11,292 roughhousin', fishin', fightin'. 388 00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:13,997 Yeah. That stuff's fun. 389 00:31:14,106 --> 00:31:18,634 Elly, nature made you a girl, and here lately... 390 00:31:18,744 --> 00:31:20,769 she's been gettin' more and more positive about it. 391 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,780 Aw, Pa. 392 00:31:25,651 --> 00:31:28,313 Every time I look into your eyes... 393 00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:30,320 I can see your ma there. 394 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,628 Was my ma refined? 395 00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:39,721 Oh, yes. 396 00:31:39,832 --> 00:31:42,266 She was a real genteel lady. 397 00:31:44,870 --> 00:31:49,000 I miss her so much... even now. 398 00:31:49,108 --> 00:31:51,941 I wanna be just like my ma was. 399 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:57,477 I reckon I do need somebody to teach me the ways. 400 00:31:57,583 --> 00:32:00,143 Yeah, reckon you do. 401 00:32:03,188 --> 00:32:06,919 And now I got the means to make that happen. 402 00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:23,469 Tyler, don't you have anything better to do today? 403 00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:27,170 I just thought you'd wanna know more about the richest dumb guy in America. 404 00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:31,443 - He's a hayseed, a hillbilly. - Mm! 405 00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:33,609 So this Clampett guy should be easy, huh? 406 00:32:33,719 --> 00:32:37,177 Yes, but we better do it fast before he gets married. 407 00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:40,315 Married? Tyler, Clampett's getting married? 408 00:32:40,426 --> 00:32:43,862 No, but he wants to. 409 00:32:47,666 --> 00:32:50,863 - He's a horny old goat lookin' for some action? - Nah. 410 00:32:50,970 --> 00:32:52,801 He's just looking for a refined lady... 411 00:32:52,905 --> 00:32:55,533 - to help raise his hellcat daughter, Elly May. - Hmm. 412 00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:59,805 But he did seem interested when somebody brought up the idea of a French tutor. 413 00:32:59,912 --> 00:33:03,245 Hmm. A French tutor. 414 00:33:19,932 --> 00:33:23,732 Bonjour. My name is Laurette Voleur... 415 00:33:23,836 --> 00:33:27,237 and I am a... French governess. 416 00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:29,569 Well, come on in, ma'am. 417 00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:34,843 Bonjour. I am going door-to-door... 418 00:33:34,947 --> 00:33:37,711 to see if anyone needs my services. 419 00:33:37,816 --> 00:33:39,613 - My business card. - "Mademoiselle. " 420 00:33:39,718 --> 00:33:43,279 "Mademoiselle... " 421 00:33:43,389 --> 00:33:47,189 - Sorry, ma'am. I don't think so. - Are you sure? 422 00:33:49,495 --> 00:33:54,956 - Yep. - There is not a young woman in the house... 423 00:33:55,067 --> 00:33:58,594 who is perhaps a bit, uh, unruly? 424 00:34:00,139 --> 00:34:03,302 Not that I can think of, but, then again, we just moved here. 425 00:34:03,409 --> 00:34:07,470 Nobody in need of refinement and sophistication? 426 00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:14,542 No. Maybe you oughta try the neighbors. 427 00:34:14,653 --> 00:34:19,420 Oh, well, I am so sorry to bother you. 428 00:34:19,525 --> 00:34:22,426 I will be going now. 429 00:34:23,862 --> 00:34:25,887 Well, what's the problem, ma'am? 430 00:34:25,998 --> 00:34:30,935 I was just hoping that my services would be needed, but... 431 00:34:31,036 --> 00:34:34,301 - Well, what do you do? - I teach, um... how do you say this... 432 00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:39,776 oh, rambunctious teenage girls how to be more ladylike and proper. 433 00:34:42,347 --> 00:34:46,613 Well, dog my cats. You know, Mrs. Drysdale was just telling us... 434 00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:49,653 about how the French was the best at finishing a gal out. 435 00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:52,918 Oui, they are. They are the very, very best... 436 00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:56,859 at making a woman a woman. 437 00:34:56,962 --> 00:34:59,829 Hey. I just thought of somethin'. 438 00:34:59,932 --> 00:35:01,832 Maybe she could help with Elly May. 439 00:35:01,934 --> 00:35:04,494 Oh. 440 00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:14,606 Here, Rascal. 441 00:35:14,713 --> 00:35:16,874 Yeah. 442 00:35:16,982 --> 00:35:20,383 You like swimmin' in this cement pond, don't you? 443 00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:22,750 You like it too, Frankie? 444 00:35:22,855 --> 00:35:24,823 Takin'that duck for a swim? 445 00:35:27,059 --> 00:35:32,224 And over here by the cement pond is my daughter Elly. 446 00:35:32,331 --> 00:35:34,322 Elly, say hello to Miss Laurette. 447 00:35:34,433 --> 00:35:36,958 - Howdy, Miss Laurette. - Bonjour, Elly May. 448 00:35:37,069 --> 00:35:38,969 It is such a pleasure to meet you. 449 00:35:39,071 --> 00:35:40,971 I was thinkin', every day after school... 450 00:35:41,073 --> 00:35:44,042 maybe Miss Laurette could help teach you to be a lady. 451 00:35:44,143 --> 00:35:46,043 - How about that? - Okay. 452 00:35:46,145 --> 00:35:49,080 Spanky likes you. 453 00:35:50,682 --> 00:35:52,809 Not as much as I like him. 454 00:35:54,453 --> 00:35:57,422 Go on, now, and stay out of trouble. 455 00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:01,888 I finally figured this game out, Spanky. 456 00:36:01,994 --> 00:36:04,895 You take this ball... 457 00:36:04,997 --> 00:36:08,057 you put it down this here gully. 458 00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:10,761 It rolls down yonder. 459 00:36:10,869 --> 00:36:14,361 Then you hurl yourself down this slippery gully... 460 00:36:14,473 --> 00:36:18,341 and see how many of them there snake-bashin' clubs... 461 00:36:18,443 --> 00:36:21,901 you can knock down... before the ball gets there. 462 00:36:23,348 --> 00:36:26,840 What a stupid idiot. 463 00:36:26,952 --> 00:36:29,250 Did you say somethin', ma'am? 464 00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:33,017 What a stupendous intellect. 465 00:36:33,125 --> 00:36:35,320 That's 'cause I graduated the sixth grade, ma'am. 466 00:36:35,427 --> 00:36:37,696 Only took three years. 467 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:07,922 Now, Elly May, sit straight, chin up... 468 00:37:08,026 --> 00:37:12,486 and try to practice looking interested when people are boring you. 469 00:37:21,673 --> 00:37:24,574 Ah, greetings, Mr. Clampett. 470 00:37:24,676 --> 00:37:26,644 - Well, howdy, Miss Jane. - Hello, Elly May. 471 00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:29,111 Miss Jane, this here is Miss Laurette Voleur. 472 00:37:29,214 --> 00:37:32,911 Bonjour, Mademoiselle Laurette. Comment allez-vous? 473 00:37:34,019 --> 00:37:35,919 Tut-tut-tut-tut-tut. 474 00:37:36,021 --> 00:37:39,957 - I must only speak the English in front of Elly May. - Of course. 475 00:37:40,058 --> 00:37:43,994 Uh, Mr. Clampett, drawing from Commerce Bank clientele... 476 00:37:44,096 --> 00:37:47,532 I have selected some preliminary bridal prospects for you. 477 00:37:47,633 --> 00:37:50,966 Oh.! Oh, dear.! Oh, my goodness.! 478 00:37:51,069 --> 00:37:54,368 Mon Dieu.! How clumsy of me. I'm so sorry. 479 00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,703 Oh. Oh, it's no... no problem. 480 00:37:56,808 --> 00:38:00,471 No problem whatsoever. At the bank, I have these in triplicate. 481 00:38:00,579 --> 00:38:05,039 - I shall return. - I'll walk you out, Miss Hathaway. 482 00:38:05,150 --> 00:38:07,050 Why, thank you, Jethro. 483 00:38:07,152 --> 00:38:09,279 So, Mr. Clampett... 484 00:38:09,388 --> 00:38:11,788 perhaps we should discuss my, uh, weekly salary? 485 00:38:18,830 --> 00:38:21,162 Shoo! 486 00:38:21,266 --> 00:38:25,225 Shoo! 487 00:38:31,843 --> 00:38:36,303 Shoo, cow. Excuse me, I'm just going to reach over here and press this button. 488 00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:38,406 Hello. Can anyone hear me? 489 00:38:38,517 --> 00:38:40,985 Can anyone hear me? 490 00:38:41,086 --> 00:38:43,748 - Yeah. - Can somebody help me? 491 00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:47,052 - Hello? - Miss Hathaway? 492 00:38:47,159 --> 00:38:50,060 How's it feel to live in Beverly Hills? 493 00:38:50,162 --> 00:38:53,563 - Hello? - I can hear you. Where are you? 494 00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:56,725 Please, can somebody let me out of here? 495 00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,702 I am trapped inside the wall. 496 00:38:59,805 --> 00:39:02,569 Hello? Hello? 497 00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:05,268 - Hello? Hello? - Just stay put, Miss Hathaway. I'll get ya out. 498 00:39:05,377 --> 00:39:06,742 Hello? 499 00:39:07,946 --> 00:39:09,846 Watch your head. 500 00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:20,385 Miss Hathaway? 501 00:39:21,927 --> 00:39:23,622 Yoo-hoo! 502 00:39:27,499 --> 00:39:30,696 I'm in. This is gonna be easier than I thought. 503 00:39:30,802 --> 00:39:32,736 So, they bought the French thing? 504 00:39:32,838 --> 00:39:36,035 Mais oui. They're bumpkins. 505 00:39:36,141 --> 00:39:38,109 It's a crime they have so much money. 506 00:39:38,210 --> 00:39:41,043 It's worse than a foreigner winning the lottery. 507 00:39:41,146 --> 00:39:43,478 I know exactly what I'm gonna do. 508 00:39:43,582 --> 00:39:46,574 First, I'll lure in Clampett. That'll be easy. 509 00:39:46,685 --> 00:39:51,281 Next, I'll take Elly May and slap on a little window dressing. 510 00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:54,791 Make him think I turned her into a real lady. 511 00:39:54,893 --> 00:39:57,384 Then, when the time is just right... 512 00:39:57,496 --> 00:39:59,930 I'll play one off the other and... wham! 513 00:40:00,031 --> 00:40:04,066 - They won't know what hit 'em. - You're not gonna sleep with him, are you? 514 00:40:04,169 --> 00:40:06,637 - That's not your problem. - Okay, Laura? 515 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:09,468 I got my hand on your butt. 516 00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:11,565 Okay. Hold on. 517 00:40:11,676 --> 00:40:13,837 I got someone on call waiting. 518 00:40:13,945 --> 00:40:17,039 Hello? Hello? 519 00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:21,981 It was nobody. Okay, now. 520 00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:25,181 I got my hand on your butt, and I'm squeezing. 521 00:40:25,290 --> 00:40:28,088 Tyler! Get your hand off my butt. 522 00:40:28,193 --> 00:40:30,991 - Mr. Drysdale! - Get a pencil and write this down. 523 00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:33,030 Yes, Mr. Drysdale. 524 00:40:33,131 --> 00:40:36,259 Right. Uh-huh. I can do that. 525 00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:03,454 Howdy, I'm Elly May. You must be Mr. Drysdale's son. 526 00:41:07,599 --> 00:41:10,397 Well, thanks for picking me up. Is this here your car? 527 00:41:15,273 --> 00:41:19,573 Are we goin' to school, or are we just goin' to stand here all day? 528 00:41:25,250 --> 00:41:28,913 - Hey, y'all. Howdy. - She's with me. 529 00:41:29,020 --> 00:41:31,147 Heck, Morgan, I'm tryin' to be friendly-like... 530 00:41:31,256 --> 00:41:33,884 but these folks don't seem to want to say howdy back. 531 00:41:33,992 --> 00:41:36,187 - They sure are shy. - So what? 532 00:41:36,294 --> 00:41:38,489 Elly May, who cares? They're losers. 533 00:41:38,597 --> 00:41:40,690 Not one of them is worth over 300 million. 534 00:41:40,799 --> 00:41:42,892 - Uh-oh. - Well, if it isn't Morgan... 535 00:41:43,001 --> 00:41:45,435 spelled big "M," little "organ. " 536 00:41:45,537 --> 00:41:49,530 - We've gotta go. - Not so fast, bank boy. Cough up your lunch money now. 537 00:41:49,641 --> 00:41:52,735 All I have is $400 in traveler's checks. 538 00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:55,836 So just sign them and hand them over. 539 00:41:55,947 --> 00:41:58,347 Jake, show these two what happened to the last guy who didn't pay up. 540 00:42:04,055 --> 00:42:06,080 Well, I can wire the money to your account. 541 00:42:06,191 --> 00:42:08,182 Before the close of the business day. 542 00:42:10,795 --> 00:42:13,525 I don't see why you had to give anything to that gorilla. 543 00:42:13,632 --> 00:42:16,226 Well, that gorilla is the captain of the wrestling team. 544 00:42:16,334 --> 00:42:19,394 Wow. I never wrestled a team before. 545 00:42:19,504 --> 00:42:24,237 - Well, 'lessen you count the McCarter triplets. - Cappuccino? 546 00:42:24,342 --> 00:42:26,367 - What? - Two. 547 00:42:33,184 --> 00:42:35,914 Thank you, Tiffany. 548 00:42:36,021 --> 00:42:38,251 This here electronic whittler works real fine. 549 00:42:41,192 --> 00:42:43,626 Why, hello, Jethro. 550 00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:46,424 Well, howdy, Miss Hathaway. 551 00:42:47,966 --> 00:42:50,901 My, don't you look strapping in your new business suit. 552 00:42:51,002 --> 00:42:55,996 - Armani? - No. I'm pretty sure it's wool. Sure does itch like wool. 553 00:42:57,909 --> 00:43:00,810 - Miss Hathaway? - Oh, no, no. We're colleagues. 554 00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:03,745 Call meJane. MeJane, you Jethro. 555 00:43:06,418 --> 00:43:09,751 Okay. Okay, Miss Hathaway. 556 00:43:09,854 --> 00:43:13,449 Can I get one of these electronic whittlers for UncleJed? 557 00:43:13,558 --> 00:43:16,925 - It's his birthday coming up real soon. - Let me make a note of that. 558 00:43:17,028 --> 00:43:20,122 And speaking of your UncleJed, back to the job at hand... 559 00:43:20,231 --> 00:43:22,961 - Finding him a suitable wife. - Can I help? 560 00:43:23,068 --> 00:43:26,265 Heck, back in the hollow, my ma was the best matchmaker around. 561 00:43:26,371 --> 00:43:28,771 - Is that so? - Uh-huh. 562 00:43:28,873 --> 00:43:33,367 First thing she'd do is get the back-fence gossips start a-jawin'. 563 00:43:33,478 --> 00:43:35,378 Why, we could drop some items in the trades. 564 00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,381 - Excellent. - Thank you. 565 00:43:38,483 --> 00:43:41,646 And then she'd... What'd she do? 566 00:43:41,753 --> 00:43:45,450 She'd hang a sign on the church bulletin board. 567 00:43:45,557 --> 00:43:48,890 Maybe we can get a big bulletin board. 568 00:43:48,994 --> 00:43:51,326 No, no. We'd better be a bit more discreet. 569 00:43:51,429 --> 00:43:54,330 Tell me, what are your uncle's favorite things? 570 00:43:54,432 --> 00:43:56,332 Shoot, that's easy. 571 00:43:56,434 --> 00:43:59,801 - He likes smoked crawdads. - Mm-hmm. 572 00:43:59,904 --> 00:44:01,872 Sowbelly and hand-slung chitterlings. 573 00:44:01,973 --> 00:44:04,339 And sponge cake. 574 00:44:04,442 --> 00:44:06,569 Besides food, Jethro. 575 00:44:06,678 --> 00:44:11,206 - Oh. He likes people who don't waste nothin'. - Oh, go on. 576 00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:15,719 And his favorite song is "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Hank Williams. 577 00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:19,017 - Yes! - Yes, ma'am. 578 00:45:16,347 --> 00:45:18,247 Entrez. 579 00:45:23,488 --> 00:45:26,423 Excuse me, ma'am, uh... 580 00:45:26,524 --> 00:45:28,424 is that Hank Williams I hear? 581 00:45:28,526 --> 00:45:30,494 I'm sorry. It must be too loud. 582 00:45:30,595 --> 00:45:32,722 - I will... - No, no. 583 00:45:32,831 --> 00:45:35,925 I was just listening to it while repairing this old dress... 584 00:45:36,034 --> 00:45:39,094 and, uh, waiting for my sponge cake to bake. 585 00:45:39,204 --> 00:45:41,138 You're cookin' a sponge cake? 586 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,470 Oui. It is my spécialité. 587 00:45:44,576 --> 00:45:47,602 I love this music. 588 00:45:48,747 --> 00:45:50,647 It makes me want to dance. 589 00:45:52,183 --> 00:45:53,980 It's so romantic. 590 00:46:36,327 --> 00:46:40,263 You are a fine dancer... 591 00:46:40,365 --> 00:46:43,163 and a very attractive man. 592 00:46:43,268 --> 00:46:46,465 Whomever Miss Hathaway finds for you to marry... 593 00:46:46,571 --> 00:46:48,698 is going to be a very happy woman. 594 00:46:48,807 --> 00:46:51,241 Well, thank you, ma'am. 595 00:46:51,342 --> 00:46:55,540 And all women know "a-penis" is hard to find. 596 00:46:58,249 --> 00:47:01,446 - Excuse me? - "A-penis. " 597 00:47:04,189 --> 00:47:06,885 Oh, happiness! 598 00:47:06,991 --> 00:47:08,652 Well, uh... 599 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,990 I've disturbed your work enough, ma'am. 600 00:47:23,541 --> 00:47:25,839 Jethro, have you considered getting a new car? 601 00:47:25,944 --> 00:47:30,381 Nope, but I told UncleJed we should slap a new coat of paint on this'n. 602 00:47:30,481 --> 00:47:32,745 But he said just 'cause we had money... 603 00:47:32,851 --> 00:47:34,978 we didn't need to go showin' it off. 604 00:47:35,086 --> 00:47:37,054 I was just thinking, oh, you should, you should. 605 00:47:37,155 --> 00:47:40,215 You would look so good in a big new fashy car. 606 00:47:40,325 --> 00:47:43,761 Big fashy car, huh? Maybe. 607 00:47:45,396 --> 00:47:48,229 Yep. 608 00:47:48,333 --> 00:47:52,531 Okay, Miss Jane, I'm 'bout ready to pull over. 609 00:47:52,637 --> 00:47:55,333 You are so impossibly romantic. 610 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,704 Close your eyes. 611 00:47:57,809 --> 00:47:59,709 Hot diggity dog! 612 00:47:59,811 --> 00:48:02,678 Okay, now, keep 'em closed. 613 00:48:02,780 --> 00:48:05,442 How charmingly old-fashioned. 614 00:48:05,550 --> 00:48:07,916 Mm. 615 00:48:08,019 --> 00:48:10,146 Open your eyes and look up. 616 00:48:11,656 --> 00:48:13,624 Ain't she pretty? 617 00:48:15,193 --> 00:48:17,218 Oh, my God! 618 00:48:17,328 --> 00:48:19,796 The chief is going to kill me. 619 00:48:30,942 --> 00:48:33,376 We'll be back with the financial news after this message. 620 00:48:33,478 --> 00:48:35,912 Howdy. I'm jethro Bodine. 621 00:48:36,014 --> 00:48:38,175 I'm talkin' to all you ladies out there. 622 00:48:38,283 --> 00:48:40,410 Are you looking for the perfect husband? 623 00:48:40,518 --> 00:48:42,418 Then considerjed Clampett. 624 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,148 Yes, Jed is rated triple A's... 625 00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:49,420 for a-ttractive, a-vailable, and a-billionaire. 626 00:48:49,527 --> 00:48:52,587 So come on down to the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills... 627 00:48:52,697 --> 00:48:54,756 and see me, jethro Bodine, vice president. 628 00:48:54,866 --> 00:48:56,766 - Dear, what's the matter? - And remember. 629 00:48:56,868 --> 00:49:00,668 I'm not onlyJed's wife finder. I'm also his nephew. 630 00:49:03,708 --> 00:49:05,608 I'm ruined. 631 00:49:36,574 --> 00:49:38,041 Oh! 632 00:49:51,255 --> 00:49:53,951 Howdy. 633 00:49:55,126 --> 00:49:57,253 Thank you. 634 00:49:57,362 --> 00:50:01,059 Hathaway, you are embarrassing this institution! 635 00:50:01,165 --> 00:50:03,099 This is a carnival. 636 00:50:03,201 --> 00:50:06,432 What kind of a numbskull would think up a harebrained scheme like this? 637 00:50:06,537 --> 00:50:08,596 That'd be me, Mr. Drysdale. 638 00:50:08,706 --> 00:50:10,401 Y- Your idea. Well... 639 00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:13,341 Well, it's brilliant.! 640 00:50:13,444 --> 00:50:15,844 Insightful. Cutting edge. 641 00:50:15,947 --> 00:50:18,040 You're a born leader, son. 642 00:50:18,149 --> 00:50:21,641 We've have had 1,215 women respond to the ad. 643 00:50:21,753 --> 00:50:23,721 - And two men. - Wh... 644 00:50:23,821 --> 00:50:27,882 Once I've entered the data into the computer, worked my magic... presto. 645 00:50:27,992 --> 00:50:32,622 - We will narrow them down to a precious few. - Send in the next five. 646 00:50:32,730 --> 00:50:36,359 Oh, uh, Hathaway, uh, you're not validating parking, are you? 647 00:50:36,467 --> 00:50:38,367 Parking? Um... 648 00:50:38,469 --> 00:50:40,767 Oh, that was my idea too, Mr. Drysdale. 649 00:50:40,872 --> 00:50:44,968 Well, it's a brilliant idea, if I may say so. 650 00:50:45,076 --> 00:50:47,567 Let's see, uh... 651 00:50:47,678 --> 00:50:51,205 1,215 women... and two men. 652 00:50:51,315 --> 00:50:53,442 At a dollar and a half every 15 minutes. 653 00:50:53,551 --> 00:50:56,418 Ah, well, that's only gonna cost me 5... 654 00:50:56,521 --> 00:50:59,046 5-5-5-5... $5,000. 655 00:50:59,157 --> 00:51:02,217 Well... 656 00:51:08,366 --> 00:51:10,891 - Bonjour, Jethro. - Well, howdy, Miss Laurette. 657 00:51:11,002 --> 00:51:12,902 What is all of this? 658 00:51:13,004 --> 00:51:16,405 Miss Jane said a big fancy car would be more suitin' to my personality... 659 00:51:16,507 --> 00:51:19,533 so I'm fixin' on makin' one out of my truck. 660 00:51:19,644 --> 00:51:23,239 Personally, if it would have been me, I would have just bought a new one. 661 00:51:23,347 --> 00:51:25,747 But... carry on. 662 00:51:28,820 --> 00:51:30,845 What a moron. 663 00:51:33,357 --> 00:51:35,291 Hey, organ, what are you doin' here? 664 00:51:35,393 --> 00:51:37,258 - You come here to wrestle me? - No. 665 00:51:37,361 --> 00:51:39,261 Or did you just come here to kiss the gym foor? 666 00:51:39,363 --> 00:51:41,991 Come on, Morgan, just kiss it. Come on, kiss it. 667 00:51:42,100 --> 00:51:44,091 Why don't you pick on somebody your own size? 668 00:51:44,202 --> 00:51:46,534 And what business is it of yours, baby? 669 00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:50,198 What are you doing here, anyway, corn pone? 670 00:51:50,308 --> 00:51:52,970 I came by to join the wrestlin' team. 671 00:51:53,077 --> 00:51:54,977 I don't wrestle girls, at least not in the gym... 672 00:51:55,079 --> 00:51:56,979 but in your case, I'll make an exception. 673 00:51:57,081 --> 00:51:59,072 - Good. Then let's get started. - Whoa! 674 00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:03,644 - I'm gonna kill you! - I'm goin' to kill you.! 675 00:52:03,754 --> 00:52:05,688 No one is going to kill anyone here! 676 00:52:05,790 --> 00:52:07,758 Not without a signed permission slip from home. 677 00:52:07,859 --> 00:52:10,453 - Got it? - Got it, Coach. 678 00:52:12,430 --> 00:52:14,830 So, Jethro... 679 00:52:14,932 --> 00:52:18,163 building on your visionary plan for finding your uncle's wife... 680 00:52:18,269 --> 00:52:22,171 I've... I've created this rather modest database program. 681 00:52:22,273 --> 00:52:25,333 I've cross-referenced the applicants... 682 00:52:25,443 --> 00:52:29,345 against the parameters you indicated he desired... 683 00:52:29,447 --> 00:52:33,315 by specifying the search criteria into functional groupings... 684 00:52:33,417 --> 00:52:36,909 and selecting the fiield values... 685 00:52:37,021 --> 00:52:39,182 through the use of embedded commands... 686 00:52:39,290 --> 00:52:43,522 and, of course, basic Boolean algebra. 687 00:52:46,597 --> 00:52:50,897 Miss Jane, I have no idea what you just said. 688 00:52:53,905 --> 00:52:58,399 Oh, Jethro, you are so delightfully... primitive. 689 00:53:01,646 --> 00:53:04,774 Uh, Miss Hathaway, would you step into my office, please. 690 00:53:04,882 --> 00:53:07,942 - And bring the, uh, the Arlington file. - Yes, sir. 691 00:53:08,052 --> 00:53:10,077 - I'm sorry. - Mr. Drysdale... 692 00:53:10,188 --> 00:53:13,180 since I have trained three Kentucky Derby winners for other people... 693 00:53:13,291 --> 00:53:17,250 it seems a logical extension that I'd want to own and operate my own stud farm... 694 00:53:17,361 --> 00:53:19,056 Arlington Acres. 695 00:53:19,163 --> 00:53:22,155 Well, it's just... It's just a very exciting idea. 696 00:53:22,266 --> 00:53:25,235 Then you agree that his net worth and rural background... 697 00:53:25,336 --> 00:53:27,827 makeJed Clampett the perfect partner for such a venture. 698 00:53:27,939 --> 00:53:31,375 Absolutely. You and Clampett, partners in a stud farm. 699 00:53:31,475 --> 00:53:34,410 - I think it's a wonderful idea. - So you'll call him and arrange for us to meet? 700 00:53:34,512 --> 00:53:36,742 You bet I will. 701 00:53:36,847 --> 00:53:39,714 - I'm sure he can't wait to see you. - Oh. 702 00:53:39,817 --> 00:53:43,412 In fact, as soon as you leave, I'm going to call Mr. Clampett on the phone. 703 00:53:43,521 --> 00:53:45,887 - Ah! This is very exciting. - Isn't it? 704 00:53:45,990 --> 00:53:48,788 Yeah. 705 00:53:48,893 --> 00:53:51,487 But, chief, you specifiically told me... 706 00:53:51,596 --> 00:53:54,827 that you did not want Mr. Clampett involved in such a risky venture. 707 00:53:54,932 --> 00:53:56,866 Exactly. Shred and burn that. 708 00:53:56,968 --> 00:53:59,459 And don't ever let that lady back in this offiice. 709 00:53:59,570 --> 00:54:02,061 It went fantastically. 710 00:54:02,173 --> 00:54:06,041 Mr. Drysdale said I would be a perfect partner for Mr. Clampett. 711 00:54:06,143 --> 00:54:08,907 Yes. I'll tell you more when I get back. Bye. 712 00:54:11,882 --> 00:54:15,978 Excuse me, ma'am. If Mr. Drysdale thinks you'd be perfect for my UncleJed... 713 00:54:16,087 --> 00:54:19,488 I can take you over to meet him right now. 714 00:54:19,590 --> 00:54:22,991 - Wonderful! - Come on. 715 00:54:23,094 --> 00:54:25,688 I think you're gonna like Miss Arlington. 716 00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:28,526 Miss Jane picked her out with her computer-datin' base. 717 00:54:28,633 --> 00:54:31,602 Then Mr. Drysdale personally approved her. 718 00:54:31,702 --> 00:54:34,330 Computer-datin' base, huh? 719 00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:37,305 What'll they think of next? 720 00:54:37,408 --> 00:54:41,174 - Hello, Miss Arlington. - Mr. Clampett. 721 00:54:41,279 --> 00:54:44,908 Well, gee, uh, I don't know quite how to begin. 722 00:54:45,016 --> 00:54:48,008 Then let me start. 723 00:54:48,119 --> 00:54:52,351 I know, by just looking at you, you are the perfect man for my stud farm. 724 00:54:53,758 --> 00:54:57,194 - Stud farm? - If it makes it any easier for you... 725 00:54:57,295 --> 00:55:01,527 I am willing to take on multiple partners. 726 00:55:01,632 --> 00:55:04,897 Multiple partners. 727 00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:10,539 Uh, no offense, ma'am... 728 00:55:10,641 --> 00:55:13,735 but I'm afraid I'd find that just a tad uncomfortable. 729 00:55:15,846 --> 00:55:17,837 Well, what if it was with somebody you really trusted... 730 00:55:17,948 --> 00:55:19,848 like Mr. Drysdale? 731 00:55:21,319 --> 00:55:23,219 I don't think this is the sort of thing... 732 00:55:23,321 --> 00:55:25,881 Mr. Drysdale would want to be involved in. 733 00:55:25,990 --> 00:55:28,185 Oh, well, you should have seen his face... 734 00:55:28,292 --> 00:55:31,159 when I showed him the pictures of what I have in mind. 735 00:55:31,262 --> 00:55:34,231 - He was very excited. - I don't doubt that. 736 00:55:34,332 --> 00:55:37,028 Would you like to see the pictures? They're very detailed. 737 00:55:37,134 --> 00:55:39,500 Not just yet! 738 00:55:39,603 --> 00:55:41,571 Don't you think we're movin' awful fast? 739 00:55:41,672 --> 00:55:46,974 Oh, not as far as I'm concerned, Mr. Clampett. 740 00:55:47,078 --> 00:55:50,070 I've got my license, and I'm ready to breed. 741 00:55:52,049 --> 00:55:54,517 Excuse me, ma'am, uh... 742 00:55:54,618 --> 00:55:56,745 I could use a glass of iced tea. 743 00:55:58,189 --> 00:55:59,952 - Yourself? - Sure. 744 00:56:00,057 --> 00:56:03,515 I'm learnin' Elly May to ride my motorcycle! 745 00:56:03,627 --> 00:56:06,994 - How do you stop this thing? - I'm gonna tan your hide.! 746 00:56:07,098 --> 00:56:10,932 You're doin' real good. Now put on the brakes! 747 00:56:11,035 --> 00:56:12,935 - Granny? - Whoa.! 748 00:56:13,037 --> 00:56:14,937 I'm gonna get you! 749 00:56:18,008 --> 00:56:20,135 Granny! Watch your head! 750 00:56:24,248 --> 00:56:27,479 Stop! Oh-oh-oh! 751 00:56:32,923 --> 00:56:35,153 - Dang! - I'll help you, Granny. 752 00:56:35,259 --> 00:56:37,557 Come on. Swim over here. 753 00:56:37,661 --> 00:56:39,754 There we go. Give me your hand. 754 00:56:39,864 --> 00:56:42,628 Upsy-daisy. Come on. 755 00:56:42,733 --> 00:56:45,065 There we... Ow.! Granny.! 756 00:56:45,169 --> 00:56:47,797 Ow! Ow! Ow! Granny! 757 00:56:47,905 --> 00:56:50,237 Miss Arlington, you reckon if we got hitched, 758 00:56:50,341 --> 00:56:53,139 you could help me tame my daughter, Elly May? 759 00:56:53,244 --> 00:56:55,940 Are you proposing we get married? 760 00:56:56,046 --> 00:56:59,914 Well, I wouldn't feel right about breedin' if we didn't. 761 00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:13,829 Okay, men, that's it. Hit the mineral baths. 762 00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:16,263 - Howdy. - Well, well. Look who's here. 763 00:57:16,367 --> 00:57:20,030 - Missed you at practice, babe. - She didn't come alone. 764 00:57:20,137 --> 00:57:22,002 Hey, Morgan. What are you doin' here? 765 00:57:25,075 --> 00:57:27,976 - Well, who's all these folks? - Just to keep things fair. 766 00:57:28,078 --> 00:57:30,842 - Is this some kind of joke? - Well, come on, baby. 767 00:57:30,948 --> 00:57:32,677 Let's wrestle. 768 00:57:35,252 --> 00:57:37,812 - Come on! - Come on. Give it to him. 769 00:57:37,922 --> 00:57:40,891 Oh, wait. That's mine. 770 00:57:40,991 --> 00:57:43,152 It's mine. 771 00:57:45,196 --> 00:57:47,323 Come on, man. You can do it! 772 00:57:47,431 --> 00:57:50,127 - Fight in the gym. - All right. - Cool. 773 00:58:07,051 --> 00:58:09,918 Wait. Hold on. I'm getting a fax. 774 00:58:13,457 --> 00:58:16,255 Meet me there. 775 00:58:26,303 --> 00:58:28,771 This here's what I call the Clampett clamp. 776 00:58:28,873 --> 00:58:30,602 That's not legal. 777 00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:33,074 Really? Well, try this one. 778 00:58:34,612 --> 00:58:38,343 Hey, come on. 779 00:58:38,449 --> 00:58:41,179 - I call it the possum pretzel. - That ain't legal either. 780 00:58:41,285 --> 00:58:44,516 - Well... - Ow! 781 00:58:46,290 --> 00:58:48,383 What about the hickory nut crunch? 782 00:58:53,330 --> 00:58:55,093 That's definitely not legal! 783 00:58:55,199 --> 00:58:58,828 Well, ain't nothin' legal 'round here? 784 00:59:07,244 --> 00:59:10,543 One, two... 785 00:59:12,750 --> 00:59:15,947 One, two... 786 00:59:16,053 --> 00:59:19,386 - Yeah! - Three. 787 00:59:30,701 --> 00:59:33,568 Young lady! 788 00:59:33,671 --> 00:59:36,435 I think we've found a new team captain. 789 00:59:36,540 --> 00:59:39,509 Sorry, Derek. You're demoted. 790 00:59:41,011 --> 00:59:42,638 Come here, Morgan. 791 00:59:42,746 --> 00:59:45,340 Thanks, y'all. 792 00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:57,554 I truly appreciate y'all a-tossin' me this here fancy birthday party. 793 00:59:57,661 --> 01:00:00,960 Everybody looks just as nice as peach pie. 794 01:00:01,065 --> 01:00:04,466 I just got one question for you... 795 01:00:04,568 --> 01:00:07,093 - Who are these people? - Well... 796 01:00:13,744 --> 01:00:16,508 Howdy, Miss Jane. 797 01:00:16,614 --> 01:00:19,082 Oh, my goodness, jethro. 798 01:00:20,618 --> 01:00:25,078 I took your advice... made me a big fashy car. 799 01:00:25,189 --> 01:00:28,386 It's very you. Very, very macho. 800 01:00:28,492 --> 01:00:32,121 - Thank you. - Well, shall we? 801 01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:39,465 Is Pa here yet? 802 01:00:41,905 --> 01:00:45,136 Elly May Clampett, you look plumb elegant. 803 01:00:45,242 --> 01:00:49,178 Thanks, Pa. I feel kind of funny gettin' all gussied up like this... 804 01:00:49,279 --> 01:00:52,715 but Miss Laurette says I'll get used to it. 805 01:00:54,284 --> 01:00:57,151 You've done a fine job in turnin' Elly May into a lady. 806 01:00:57,254 --> 01:00:59,950 Thank you, Monsieur Clampett. 807 01:01:00,057 --> 01:01:03,823 She is a diamond in ze rough, just like you. 808 01:01:03,927 --> 01:01:08,057 What's all this? 809 01:01:08,165 --> 01:01:11,430 Sushi, calamari, caviar. 810 01:01:11,535 --> 01:01:14,527 What? Speak American. 811 01:01:14,638 --> 01:01:17,266 Listen, I was wondering if, um... 812 01:01:17,374 --> 01:01:19,342 maybe sometime we could go out. 813 01:01:19,443 --> 01:01:23,743 Not on a date or anything, but just maybe to go get some burgers or something. 814 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:26,645 Take off that silly hat. 815 01:01:28,452 --> 01:01:31,444 Then again, I would, uh... understand if you didn't want to. 816 01:01:31,555 --> 01:01:35,389 Sounds like fun. 817 01:01:35,492 --> 01:01:38,723 So, Jethro, once we find your UncleJed a wife... 818 01:01:38,829 --> 01:01:42,629 - Perhaps it'll be your turn to get hitched. - Me? No. 819 01:01:42,733 --> 01:01:45,702 I'm gonna be a Hollywood bachelor... 820 01:01:45,803 --> 01:01:47,930 date all the hot young starlets. 821 01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:51,838 Well, let me remind you not to overlook the charms of the slightly older woman... 822 01:01:51,942 --> 01:01:56,379 who more than makes up with experience what she may lack in other arenas. 823 01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:58,812 Okay, Miss Jane. 824 01:01:58,916 --> 01:02:01,146 No problem. 825 01:02:01,251 --> 01:02:05,711 - Oh, please, let me. - Tyler, clam it. It's showtime. 826 01:02:11,962 --> 01:02:14,931 Miss Laurette? Why are you cryin'? 827 01:02:16,834 --> 01:02:19,701 I- I have just spoken with your father. 828 01:02:19,803 --> 01:02:23,102 And he says I would make ze best wife for him. 829 01:02:23,207 --> 01:02:27,473 - He did? - But as happy as I would make him... 830 01:02:27,578 --> 01:02:33,016 I am afraid that you will think I'm too young and beautiful to be your mother. 831 01:02:36,353 --> 01:02:40,289 Who'd of thought it... Miss Laurette and my pa? Hmm. 832 01:02:41,725 --> 01:02:45,183 Oh, where is he? Oh. 833 01:02:46,964 --> 01:02:49,933 So I can call you whenever I want? You'll hotfoot it right over? 834 01:02:50,033 --> 01:02:53,730 - Mm-hmm. - Hot dog. 835 01:02:53,837 --> 01:02:56,305 Thank you. 836 01:02:58,876 --> 01:03:03,677 I will miss Elly May so much when you find yourself a wife. 837 01:03:03,781 --> 01:03:09,413 - And I will miss you too. - I hadn't thought about you not bein' here. 838 01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,387 It's sure been a pleasure to have you stay with us. 839 01:03:12,489 --> 01:03:14,184 Thank you. 840 01:03:14,291 --> 01:03:16,156 Jed? 841 01:03:16,260 --> 01:03:19,388 Elly May said ze strangest thing to me tonight. 842 01:03:19,496 --> 01:03:22,226 She said she would love for me to be her mother. 843 01:03:22,332 --> 01:03:27,031 I'm sure she'll get over the disappointment in whomever you choose. 844 01:03:28,939 --> 01:03:31,908 I love Elly May just like a daughter. 845 01:03:32,009 --> 01:03:34,204 Perhaps you should speak with her. 846 01:03:34,311 --> 01:03:36,541 I'll do that. 847 01:03:45,088 --> 01:03:47,215 Well. 848 01:03:47,324 --> 01:03:49,224 This here's a big night for you... 849 01:03:49,326 --> 01:03:53,660 all dressed up and ladylike at your first Beverly Hills social. 850 01:03:53,764 --> 01:03:56,324 Your ma would be so proud. 851 01:03:56,433 --> 01:04:00,233 Thanks, Pa. Miss Laurette said she was right proud too. 852 01:04:00,337 --> 01:04:03,067 You like her, don't you? 853 01:04:03,173 --> 01:04:06,802 Well, I like her just fine, and I guess you like her too. 854 01:04:06,910 --> 01:04:08,878 I certainly do. 855 01:04:10,614 --> 01:04:13,082 All I want is for you to be happy, Elly May. 856 01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:16,744 I just want you to be happy, Pa. 857 01:04:16,854 --> 01:04:19,482 Well, I reckon there's no time like right now. 858 01:04:24,461 --> 01:04:27,021 - Happy birthday, jed. - Happy birthday. 859 01:04:35,339 --> 01:04:36,772 Oh! 860 01:04:57,928 --> 01:05:01,125 Well, I got a feeling you're worth every dime of it too. 861 01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:04,394 Step up here. Let me take a good look at you. 862 01:05:04,501 --> 01:05:07,629 Boy, you're looking good on your birthday. 863 01:05:07,738 --> 01:05:10,536 I think we need a speech, don't you? Speech. 864 01:05:14,778 --> 01:05:18,407 You know, I have more than any one man deserves... 865 01:05:18,515 --> 01:05:21,484 yet there is something I'd like for my birthday. 866 01:05:21,585 --> 01:05:26,989 I'd like to ask the one who helped Elly May become a lady to be my wife. 867 01:05:28,926 --> 01:05:32,521 Miss Laurette Voleur. 868 01:05:32,629 --> 01:05:35,598 Oh, I am so surprised. 869 01:05:36,934 --> 01:05:39,425 This is ze happiest day of my life. 870 01:05:42,806 --> 01:05:44,706 Huh? 871 01:05:44,808 --> 01:05:48,335 All right. Congratulations. 872 01:06:43,867 --> 01:06:46,665 - You don't say. - I do say! 873 01:06:46,770 --> 01:06:48,863 Well, I'll be. Who's he marrying? 874 01:06:48,972 --> 01:06:52,840 Oh, some foozy with a fancy accent. 875 01:06:52,943 --> 01:06:55,173 She seems sneaky to me. I don't trust her. 876 01:06:55,278 --> 01:06:57,405 Oh, Granny, you don't trust anybody. 877 01:06:57,514 --> 01:06:59,880 Never mind about that. 878 01:06:59,983 --> 01:07:03,714 I'm invitin' you to the weddin' and the cousins. 879 01:07:03,820 --> 01:07:08,450 But just from Jed's side, not includin' the Kelloggs nor the Daggs. 880 01:07:08,558 --> 01:07:11,618 Now, Granny, you're not gonna get into your tonic... 881 01:07:11,728 --> 01:07:14,219 and disappear like you did when Jed married your daughter, are ya? 882 01:07:19,569 --> 01:07:22,299 Jethrine, your UncleJed's gettin' married. 883 01:07:24,975 --> 01:07:27,603 I always cry at weddings. 884 01:07:27,711 --> 01:07:30,202 Oh, now, honey. 885 01:07:30,313 --> 01:07:33,111 I do. 886 01:07:37,054 --> 01:07:40,046 Well, you got both kinds of chickens here, Jed. 887 01:07:40,157 --> 01:07:43,126 - White and the brown. - What you got there, son? 888 01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:46,889 Oh, it's just a standard prenuptial agreement. 889 01:07:46,997 --> 01:07:52,128 Miss Hathaway said for you not to tell anyone that you signed it, not even her. 890 01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:57,434 Well, if Miss Hathaway says so, I don't even have to read this. It must be fine. 891 01:08:01,611 --> 01:08:05,741 They'll be comin' from miles around to get my expert doctorin'... 892 01:08:05,849 --> 01:08:08,647 and I won't turn a one away. 893 01:08:08,752 --> 01:08:12,381 I done took me the "hypocritter" oath to help everybody. 894 01:08:16,927 --> 01:08:19,395 Kinda weak. 895 01:08:19,496 --> 01:08:24,524 Probably good enough for city folk. 896 01:08:24,634 --> 01:08:26,602 Tyler.! 897 01:08:28,905 --> 01:08:31,533 Did you get him to sign the papers? 898 01:08:31,641 --> 01:08:34,735 Oh, yeah. He's a very trusting man. 899 01:08:34,845 --> 01:08:36,972 He thinks everyone's honest. 900 01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:40,538 That's a quality I admire in a man I'm taking advantage of. 901 01:08:40,650 --> 01:08:43,778 Hey, uh, you're not sleeping with him, are you? 902 01:08:43,887 --> 01:08:47,755 Tyler, you know once I move in with a man, I stop having sex with him. 903 01:08:47,858 --> 01:08:49,826 Oh, yeah. That's right. 904 01:08:49,926 --> 01:08:55,489 - Keep your mind on business. Now go. - Hey, wait. 905 01:08:55,599 --> 01:08:59,729 - How about a little good-bye kiss? - All right. 906 01:09:01,505 --> 01:09:03,666 I knowed it! I knowed it! 907 01:09:03,773 --> 01:09:06,708 I done catched you red-handed, you two-timin' hussy! 908 01:09:06,810 --> 01:09:10,302 When I inform jed, the weddin'will be off! 909 01:09:10,413 --> 01:09:12,677 Let's get her. 910 01:09:12,782 --> 01:09:15,580 Uh-oh. Oh. 911 01:09:18,788 --> 01:09:20,915 No! No! No! 912 01:09:25,262 --> 01:09:27,594 Shut up, you old hag.! 913 01:09:27,697 --> 01:09:31,155 We got just the place for you. 914 01:09:31,268 --> 01:09:33,168 Let me down! 915 01:09:38,808 --> 01:09:41,276 I've already input the info into the computer. 916 01:09:41,378 --> 01:09:44,779 Soon as you say "I do"... bing! I press "Enter. " 917 01:09:44,881 --> 01:09:47,441 Boom! The money goes via modem to Switzerland. 918 01:09:47,551 --> 01:09:50,884 Bing, bang, boom. We're rich! 919 01:09:52,822 --> 01:09:55,154 - Oh. - Look at those legs. 920 01:09:55,258 --> 01:09:58,227 I can't wait to get them wrapped around me. 921 01:09:58,328 --> 01:10:00,853 Get her off of me! 922 01:10:00,964 --> 01:10:03,592 - Get those legs off him! - She's got crap on her boots! 923 01:10:07,337 --> 01:10:10,431 She doesn't even think we're her grandchildren. 924 01:10:10,540 --> 01:10:13,202 And you say you fear for your lives? 925 01:10:13,310 --> 01:10:17,440 Yes. I'm afraid the poor old dear tried to shoot us with a shotgun. 926 01:10:17,547 --> 01:10:19,572 Are there any other indications of dementia? 927 01:10:19,683 --> 01:10:22,413 Last week, we caught her trying to eat a raccoon. 928 01:10:22,519 --> 01:10:25,488 - Really? - She calls us kidnappers. 929 01:10:25,589 --> 01:10:27,989 They are! They are! The old buzzards are! 930 01:10:28,091 --> 01:10:30,389 - Wait, now. - Grandma, please. 931 01:10:30,493 --> 01:10:33,257 Ow! She bit me again, honey! 932 01:10:33,363 --> 01:10:35,627 Better check her for rabies. 933 01:10:35,732 --> 01:10:37,893 - Get two orderlies in here stat! - Poor old dear. 934 01:10:41,104 --> 01:10:44,665 We can't take the heartbreak a minute longer. We need to admit her someplace... 935 01:10:44,774 --> 01:10:48,574 where she can be kept in a straitjacket away from sharp objects and pay phones. 936 01:10:48,678 --> 01:10:51,977 From what you've told me, I'd say that your grandmother... 937 01:10:52,082 --> 01:10:57,714 is a perfect candidate for, uh, electroshock therapy. 938 01:11:02,192 --> 01:11:06,288 And nobody... I repeat nobody... is allowed into the Clampett estate without an invitation. 939 01:11:06,396 --> 01:11:09,331 Sans invitation, non. 940 01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:12,265 Miss jane, this fella's all mad at me 'cause I opened up... 941 01:11:12,369 --> 01:11:13,996 this box of wedding food... 942 01:11:14,104 --> 01:11:16,595 but there ain't nothin' in there but a bunch of snails. 943 01:11:16,706 --> 01:11:20,608 I think the snails got up in there and et all the food. 944 01:11:21,878 --> 01:11:24,346 No problem. Jethro, we'll just buy some more. 945 01:11:24,447 --> 01:11:27,109 And, Henri, the snails go back to the garden where they belong... 946 01:11:27,217 --> 01:11:30,015 s'il vous plâit. 947 01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:31,985 To your posts. 948 01:11:32,088 --> 01:11:36,218 Everything's going fine, but I have one small question. 949 01:11:36,326 --> 01:11:41,059 Granny has not been available for her fitting, and the wedding is tomorrow. 950 01:11:41,164 --> 01:11:45,328 Hmm. Come to think of it, I ain't seen hide nor hair of Granny since yesterday. 951 01:11:45,435 --> 01:11:48,063 And you're not concerned? 952 01:11:48,171 --> 01:11:52,540 No. She done the same thing when I married Elly May's ma. 953 01:11:52,642 --> 01:11:55,543 Came pourin' in about three days later... 954 01:11:55,645 --> 01:11:59,012 naked as a jaybird and reeking of her medicine. 955 01:11:59,115 --> 01:12:02,243 Hmm. 956 01:12:36,219 --> 01:12:38,585 Play it, George.! 957 01:12:51,134 --> 01:12:52,761 Whoo! 958 01:13:20,730 --> 01:13:23,528 Miss Hathaway, if the immediate family isn't concerned enough... 959 01:13:23,633 --> 01:13:25,999 to file a missing persons report, then there's nothing we can do. 960 01:13:26,102 --> 01:13:28,297 But, Captain Gallo, I suspect foul play. 961 01:13:28,405 --> 01:13:31,340 I'm sorry, but my hands are tied. 962 01:13:36,780 --> 01:13:42,480 But if you're desperate, you might try this guy. 963 01:13:42,585 --> 01:13:47,784 He's expensive, but he's also the best private investigator around. 964 01:13:58,334 --> 01:14:01,269 Oh, this case was pretty easy to crack, Miss Hathaway. 965 01:14:01,371 --> 01:14:06,001 I have met unsavory characters before, but she takes the cake. 966 01:14:07,610 --> 01:14:10,841 Laurette Voleur, a. k. a. Laura Jackson. 967 01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:13,745 A.k. a. Lili Lebecque. 968 01:14:13,850 --> 01:14:17,843 Married 12 times to any guy with a little extra money to throw around. 969 01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:20,081 I should've known. 970 01:14:20,190 --> 01:14:25,059 Voleur. French for "thief. " Now what about Granny? 971 01:14:25,161 --> 01:14:30,064 The old lady is being forcibly held at the Los Viejos Retirement Home... 972 01:14:30,166 --> 01:14:34,068 a disreputable establishment, often cited for patient abuse. 973 01:14:34,170 --> 01:14:37,037 Be tough to break her out. 974 01:14:37,140 --> 01:14:41,042 What a calamity, and the wedding is just hours away. 975 01:14:44,747 --> 01:14:49,411 Reverend, do you think Cousin Bill's gonna be too busy to make it to the weddin'? 976 01:14:56,259 --> 01:14:58,727 Hillary, where did I put that invitation? 977 01:15:01,865 --> 01:15:04,163 Flowers, come here. Quick. 978 01:15:04,267 --> 01:15:08,226 They need tent stakes in the backyard right now. Let's go. 979 01:15:14,711 --> 01:15:18,169 Hello. Clampett residence. Mr. Drysdale? 980 01:15:18,281 --> 01:15:21,944 - I have an urgent call for Mr. Drysdale. - I'll take that. 981 01:15:22,051 --> 01:15:25,452 He works for me. 982 01:15:25,555 --> 01:15:28,524 - Woody Tyler. Can I help you? - Tyler, what are you doing there? 983 01:15:28,625 --> 01:15:31,287 Um, I just dropped by to see if I could be of help. 984 01:15:31,394 --> 01:15:34,124 Tell Mr. Drysdale to stop the wedding. 985 01:15:34,230 --> 01:15:38,963 - Okay. - Laurette is a phony who is after Mr. Clampett's money. 986 01:15:39,068 --> 01:15:41,400 Well, that's not good. 987 01:15:41,504 --> 01:15:45,133 - Do it, Tyler, or your job is toast. - I got it. 988 01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:52,146 - She's getting fat, Mom. - Where is Hathaway? 989 01:15:52,248 --> 01:15:54,079 She was supposed to check in with me hours ago. 990 01:15:54,183 --> 01:15:57,152 - Well, I don't know, dear. - Mr. Drysdale. 991 01:15:57,253 --> 01:15:59,949 - What do you want, Tyler? - Miss Hathaway called. 992 01:16:00,056 --> 01:16:02,547 She said something had come up and to go ahead and start the wedding without her. 993 01:16:02,659 --> 01:16:05,287 - Well, what could have come up? - I wish I knew. 994 01:16:05,395 --> 01:16:07,920 My, what a lovely dog. 995 01:16:08,031 --> 01:16:10,226 Oh, thank you. 996 01:16:10,333 --> 01:16:12,801 Tyler, make yourself useful. Go count the olives. 997 01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:14,802 Oh, yeah. Right away. 998 01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:17,532 Oh, I hate that little worm. 999 01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:21,303 What could possibly be more important than this to Miss Hathaway? 1000 01:16:34,591 --> 01:16:38,027 - Look at that. New nurse. - Yeah. 1001 01:16:38,127 --> 01:16:43,759 - Howdy, Mama! - My baby! Oh! Why! 1002 01:16:43,866 --> 01:16:46,767 My goodness, Beverly Hills has made you so sophisticated. 1003 01:16:46,869 --> 01:16:49,770 Doesn't your twin brother look handsome? 1004 01:16:49,872 --> 01:16:51,999 - Hi, jethro. - Give him a kiss, Jethrine. 1005 01:16:52,108 --> 01:16:55,703 Howdy, Jethro. 1006 01:17:05,622 --> 01:17:08,113 Oh, excuse me. 1007 01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:14,361 - I reckon. - Yep. 1008 01:17:15,832 --> 01:17:17,527 Young man... 1009 01:17:17,634 --> 01:17:21,229 I am here to see Daisy Mae Moses. 1010 01:17:21,337 --> 01:17:23,828 Ah, then you must be here for the rabies test. 1011 01:17:23,940 --> 01:17:27,501 Yes. Rabies test. Exactly right. 1012 01:17:27,610 --> 01:17:29,703 Then you want Room 525. 1013 01:17:31,914 --> 01:17:34,041 Oh, nurse. 1014 01:17:34,150 --> 01:17:36,448 Better be careful. She's a wild one. 1015 01:17:36,552 --> 01:17:39,487 We had to give her electroshock therapy. 1016 01:17:39,589 --> 01:17:42,888 Thank you. 1017 01:17:54,003 --> 01:17:57,370 - Excuse me. - No problem. 1018 01:18:00,443 --> 01:18:04,243 My God. Oh, Granny. 1019 01:18:06,983 --> 01:18:10,714 Your elixir. 1020 01:18:13,289 --> 01:18:16,190 I will take you out of here immediately. 1021 01:18:16,292 --> 01:18:18,192 Your hair is just a bit disheveled. 1022 01:18:18,294 --> 01:18:21,730 Miss Jane? Is that you? 1023 01:18:21,831 --> 01:18:24,891 - 'Tis I. - Oh! 1024 01:18:27,437 --> 01:18:32,374 - Granny says she don't trust Miss Laurette. - Oh. 1025 01:18:32,475 --> 01:18:36,969 Take off that silly hat. 1026 01:18:46,823 --> 01:18:49,951 I heard she's so skinny, you couldn't hit her with a handful of corn. 1027 01:18:55,198 --> 01:18:59,999 Look where they're parking the cars. My God, how tacky. 1028 01:19:01,370 --> 01:19:03,838 This place is turning into a zoo. 1029 01:19:03,940 --> 01:19:08,070 I think she's tryin' to take him for all he's got. 1030 01:19:08,177 --> 01:19:09,769 Hmm. 1031 01:19:19,589 --> 01:19:21,887 Hi there, handsome. 1032 01:19:21,991 --> 01:19:25,119 - You mind if I sit in this chair? - This chair? 1033 01:19:25,228 --> 01:19:27,856 - I was kind of saving... - Thank you. 1034 01:19:30,233 --> 01:19:32,497 Lovely wedding, isn't it? 1035 01:19:34,170 --> 01:19:36,138 Go. 1036 01:19:40,143 --> 01:19:44,102 Oh. We've got to get back. 1037 01:19:44,213 --> 01:19:46,704 I called. I told them to stop the wedding... 1038 01:19:46,816 --> 01:19:48,681 but that Tyler is so incompetent. 1039 01:19:48,785 --> 01:19:52,312 Tyler? Him and Laurette's the ones that stuck me in this hellhole! 1040 01:19:52,421 --> 01:19:55,879 So, stabbed in the back by one of our own. 1041 01:19:55,992 --> 01:19:58,460 And she ain't no foreigner. 1042 01:19:58,561 --> 01:20:00,859 There they are. Stop them. 1043 01:20:26,522 --> 01:20:28,990 Jethro, hold up. 1044 01:20:53,282 --> 01:20:55,580 - Come on. Come on. - Oh, there she is. 1045 01:20:55,685 --> 01:20:58,813 - Come on. Come on. Come on. - Oh, she looks beautiful. 1046 01:21:00,690 --> 01:21:05,059 Oh, I've got the vapors. 1047 01:21:24,413 --> 01:21:26,881 My makeup. 1048 01:21:26,983 --> 01:21:29,918 Oh. 1049 01:21:30,019 --> 01:21:34,115 "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in case of an emergency. 1050 01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:37,784 "Oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartment. 1051 01:21:37,894 --> 01:21:41,330 "Your seat cushion can be used as a floatin'device. 1052 01:21:41,430 --> 01:21:43,557 - Thus sayeth the Lord. " - Excuse me, Reverend. 1053 01:21:43,666 --> 01:21:46,760 But I believe you're readin' the airplane safety instructions. 1054 01:21:46,869 --> 01:21:49,929 May we skip this part? 1055 01:21:50,039 --> 01:21:53,634 Hathaway had better have a good excuse for not being here. 1056 01:21:54,911 --> 01:21:57,539 Quick, Granny, hurry.! 1057 01:21:59,682 --> 01:22:01,707 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Can I see your invitations, please? 1058 01:22:01,817 --> 01:22:05,514 I'll handle this, Granny. Young man, have you any idea with whom you're speaking? 1059 01:22:05,621 --> 01:22:09,079 I'd say one crazy lady and another one with a bad wig. 1060 01:22:09,191 --> 01:22:11,785 Every strand of this here hair is mine! 1061 01:22:11,894 --> 01:22:13,885 - Ow! - Oh... Oh, Granny, no, no, no! 1062 01:22:13,996 --> 01:22:16,590 No, Granny, no! No, Granny, no! We'll find another way. 1063 01:22:16,699 --> 01:22:20,658 "We are gathered here to unite these two in holy matrimony. " 1064 01:22:24,040 --> 01:22:26,338 - Can we hurry things up, please? - Yes, ma'am. 1065 01:22:28,077 --> 01:22:31,205 Come on. Come on, baby. 1066 01:22:31,314 --> 01:22:34,374 "If any one of y'all has one good reason these two shouldn't be hitched... " 1067 01:22:34,483 --> 01:22:36,849 and it darn tootin' better be a good reason... 1068 01:22:36,953 --> 01:22:40,286 "then speak now or forever hold your peace. " 1069 01:22:42,425 --> 01:22:45,952 - All right, then. "I now pronounce you... " - Please. Please. Please. 1070 01:22:46,062 --> 01:22:48,189 "man and... " 1071 01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:49,889 What in tarnation is that? 1072 01:22:53,669 --> 01:22:57,662 Charge! 1073 01:23:31,841 --> 01:23:34,401 Come on, Granny! 1074 01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:36,944 It is I, Jane Hathaway. 1075 01:23:37,046 --> 01:23:39,344 Hathaway, have you lost your mind? 1076 01:23:39,448 --> 01:23:43,282 She's an impostor. She's marrying Mr. Clampett just to steal his money. 1077 01:23:43,386 --> 01:23:47,584 - That sidewinder Tyler helped her! - I'm ruined! 1078 01:23:47,690 --> 01:23:49,453 Milburn! Milburn! 1079 01:23:52,028 --> 01:23:54,997 Tyler. Let's set up the computer and push the button. 1080 01:23:55,097 --> 01:23:57,292 If I can't have their money, nobody should. 1081 01:23:57,400 --> 01:24:00,062 Quick! 1082 01:24:00,169 --> 01:24:01,602 Okay. 1083 01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:05,003 We'll send their billion bucks bouncin'around so many banks... 1084 01:24:05,107 --> 01:24:08,076 - they'll never find it. - It's all set. 1085 01:24:08,177 --> 01:24:11,977 All we got to do is push that button. 1086 01:24:12,081 --> 01:24:14,549 You rustic, nose-picking, inbred yokels! 1087 01:24:14,650 --> 01:24:18,984 - You're all about to be poor again. - Think again. 1088 01:24:33,035 --> 01:24:36,027 No, you don't, you schemin'skunk.! 1089 01:24:36,138 --> 01:24:38,163 Wait'll I get my hands on you! 1090 01:24:38,274 --> 01:24:41,641 Oh, Pa, you must be so disappointed. 1091 01:24:41,744 --> 01:24:43,871 A little. 1092 01:24:43,979 --> 01:24:46,504 But, Elly May, I was mainly marryin' Miss Laurette... 1093 01:24:46,615 --> 01:24:49,243 'cause I thought you wanted her for your new ma. 1094 01:24:51,821 --> 01:24:54,654 - I'm so sorry, Pa. - Don't be sorry. 1095 01:24:54,757 --> 01:24:56,952 I love you just the way you are. 1096 01:24:57,059 --> 01:24:59,755 I reckon I oughta raise you up to be who you want to be. 1097 01:24:59,862 --> 01:25:04,196 Well, I don't need a new ma, not as long as I got you and Granny. 1098 01:25:06,035 --> 01:25:09,664 Hot dog, Miss Jane! You sure are a good shot. 1099 01:25:09,772 --> 01:25:11,899 Well, thank you, Jethro. 1100 01:25:12,007 --> 01:25:12,996 - Whoo! - Got ya! 1101 01:25:13,109 --> 01:25:16,237 Well, folks, I guess you can say... 1102 01:25:16,345 --> 01:25:19,007 things didn't turn out quite the way we planned. 1103 01:25:19,115 --> 01:25:23,518 So, since there ain't gonna be no hitchin'... 1104 01:25:23,619 --> 01:25:25,951 and we're all here anyway... 1105 01:25:27,957 --> 01:25:32,519 I say we have one hellacious shindig. 1106 01:25:32,628 --> 01:25:34,823 Yeah.! 1107 01:25:41,103 --> 01:25:45,233 - Let go of me.! - Here, boys. She's all yours! 1108 01:25:52,581 --> 01:25:54,481 Let go of my hand! 1109 01:26:10,432 --> 01:26:13,367 - Hey! Nobody treats my pa that way! - Shut up! 1110 01:26:18,941 --> 01:26:22,035 How's that for ladylike, you old money-grubber? 1111 01:26:27,850 --> 01:26:30,444 Come on, city boy, let's dance. 1112 01:26:30,553 --> 01:26:32,953 All right, stand back! 1113 01:26:38,294 --> 01:26:40,455 You're under arrest for kidnapping... 1114 01:26:40,563 --> 01:26:42,463 attempted embezzlement and fraud. 1115 01:26:42,565 --> 01:26:45,864 Oh, right.! It was all Tyler's idea. 1116 01:26:52,508 --> 01:26:55,409 I admit it freely. It was all her idea. 1117 01:26:55,511 --> 01:27:00,210 I always fall in love with the wrong kind of man. 1118 01:27:00,316 --> 01:27:03,080 - Clean up that cake. - Don't step on the train. 1119 01:27:03,185 --> 01:27:07,144 I'll wait for you, honey. 1120 01:27:10,559 --> 01:27:14,154 Well, where was she? She... Oh.! 1121 01:27:14,263 --> 01:27:18,097 - Oh, well... - Whee doggie! 1122 01:27:32,615 --> 01:27:35,482 Whoo.! Yeah.! That's good. 1123 01:27:48,230 --> 01:27:50,858 Thank you. 1124 01:27:50,966 --> 01:27:54,834 That's just about right. Oops! 1125 01:27:54,937 --> 01:27:57,963 It's a shame they had to file for bankruptcy. 1126 01:27:58,073 --> 01:28:00,701 I just hope my call to the I.R.S. didn't have... 1127 01:28:00,809 --> 01:28:03,505 - Oh, I shouldn't open it. Sorry. - No problem. We'll do it again. 1128 01:28:03,612 --> 01:28:05,170 But I got there... 1129 01:28:05,281 --> 01:28:08,079 That old lady is, uh... 1130 01:28:08,183 --> 01:28:10,811 That old lady is... I'm sorry. 1131 01:28:10,919 --> 01:28:13,353 - That's okay. - She's gettin' pretty old by now, I'll tell ya. 1132 01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:15,480 Still rolling. 1133 01:28:17,192 --> 01:28:20,650 - Okay. Give me a big smile. - I can't get any bigger. 1134 01:28:25,434 --> 01:28:27,732 So, uh, what happened? 1135 01:28:27,836 --> 01:28:31,328 Actually, he slapped me. 1136 01:28:37,946 --> 01:28:41,074 Why don't you come up here? Let me take a good look at you. 1137 01:28:42,918 --> 01:28:46,149 Jim. Jim? They're gettin'worried about you. 1138 01:28:50,759 --> 01:28:54,217 - Not even a bridesmaid. - I gotta do this again. 1139 01:29:04,440 --> 01:29:06,567 Action.! 1140 01:29:09,978 --> 01:29:12,105 We've got... No, we've got to get back. 1141 01:29:12,214 --> 01:29:14,842 I called, I told them to postpone the... 1142 01:29:14,950 --> 01:29:16,850 - I lost my purse. - It's right here. 1143 01:29:16,952 --> 01:29:20,251 - How did you get it? - I don't know. 1144 01:29:20,356 --> 01:29:23,723 Jethro? Come on down here. 1145 01:29:23,826 --> 01:29:26,090 Likely as not, there's another family lives up here... 1146 01:29:26,195 --> 01:29:27,958 there.