1
00:00:03,660 --> 00:00:04,450
Oh, Niles,
2
00:00:04,483 --> 00:00:08,233
you missed some
top-of-the-line bar mitzvah.
3
00:00:08,266 --> 00:00:10,116
They flew
the entire family in.
4
00:00:10,150 --> 00:00:11,166
Yeah? From where?
5
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,433
The ceiling.
6
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,466
Yeah, it was a giant,
sequined hot-air balloon.
7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,216
It was like being in
a JewishWizard of Oz.
8
00:00:21,233 --> 00:00:23,183
Oh, and B,
the bar mitzvah gave me
9
00:00:23,216 --> 00:00:26,466
such great ideas
for your confirmation party.
10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,450
And I'm sure
they're fantastic.
11
00:00:29,483 --> 00:00:32,200
But after church,
the whole family's
12
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,216
coming back here
for an elegant supper.
13
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:37,383
You see,
the arrangements
have all been made.
14
00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:39,333
Quick, Niles,
make the arrangements.
15
00:00:40,466 --> 00:00:42,466
That's right,
Maxwell, less is more.
16
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,383
When I was confirmed,
we had a very simple ceremony.
17
00:00:45,416 --> 00:00:49,330
Hmm, lit a few candles
and danced around a dead cat?
18
00:00:51,233 --> 00:00:52,433
Dad, come on,
I've been studying
19
00:00:52,466 --> 00:00:54,166
with this priest
for three years now.
20
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,116
I want a bar mitzvah.
21
00:00:57,250 --> 00:01:00,400
Oh, come on,
Mr. Sheffield, you know
he's the middle child.
22
00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:02,216
You sawThe Godfather.
23
00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:05,466
You don't want to have
another Fredo Corleone
on your hands.
24
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,116
He already resents you
for all those after-school
activities
25
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:11,133
that you make me
schlepp him to.
26
00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:14,330
Oh, no, that's me.
27
00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:17,150
Nanny Fine,
is this the cruise
you and Val are going on?
28
00:01:17,183 --> 00:01:18,400
Mmm-hmm.
29
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:21,266
Oh, boy, would you just look
at that gorgeous hunk of beef
30
00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:23,660
over there by the pool.
31
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:26,233
And, you know,
the chef will carve it
for you right there.
32
00:01:27,366 --> 00:01:29,316
Don't you find it
a little degrading
33
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,300
to be a single woman
on a cruise?
34
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,383
I mean, trapped on a ship
with all those marauding men,
35
00:01:34,416 --> 00:01:38,150
half naked,
greased up with suntan oil,
36
00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:39,416
no way to escape...
37
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,000
Good night, Maxwell.
38
00:01:45,183 --> 00:01:48,160
Oh, Miss Fine,
you're gonna have
a wonderful time.
39
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,366
You know,
I remember my first
transatlantic crossing.
40
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,166
I booked the royal suite
on the top deck.
41
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,200
Magnificent panoramic views.
42
00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:58,200
Oh, well, we've got
the Jules Verne cabin.
43
00:01:58,233 --> 00:02:01,250
We're 20,000 leagues
under the sea.
44
00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:04,660
But I don't care,
because my psychic told me
45
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:07,150
that I was gonna meet
the man of my dreams
on this cruise.
46
00:02:07,183 --> 00:02:08,400
A psychic, Miss Fine?
47
00:02:08,433 --> 00:02:10,366
Oh, yeah.
She was fabulous.
48
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:14,183
She said that
he and I were going
to dance on water.
49
00:02:14,216 --> 00:02:16,183
Then she got some kind
of freak asthma attack,
50
00:02:16,216 --> 00:02:20,216
and it just
ate up the rest
of my $3.95 a minute.
51
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,330
Miss Fine,
you don't honestly think
52
00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:24,300
you're gonna meet
the love of your life
53
00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:26,300
and get married
based only on what
54
00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:29,200
any stranger tells you
over the telephone?
55
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:31,183
Well, you got that right,
mister.
56
00:02:31,216 --> 00:02:33,116
You know how many
clueless quacks
I had to call
57
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,500
before I found one
with that kind of vision?
58
00:02:39,383 --> 00:02:42,233
♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪
59
00:02:42,266 --> 00:02:43,466
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪
60
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,250
♪♪ in one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪
61
00:02:45,283 --> 00:02:47,316
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
62
00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:50,416
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
63
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:53,166
♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪♪
64
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,466
♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪
65
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,330
♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪
66
00:02:58,660 --> 00:03:01,350
♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪
67
00:03:01,383 --> 00:03:04,416
♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl
we've described ♪♪
68
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:07,330
♪♪ was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
69
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:08,266
♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪
70
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,466
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
71
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,160
♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪
72
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,660
♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪
73
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:18,133
♪♪ She's the lady in red
when everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪
74
00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:19,483
♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪
75
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,250
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
76
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:28,466
Niles, I cannot believe
Miss Fine is going on
a cruise
77
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,000
just because
some psychic told her
she had a date with destiny.
78
00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:34,200
I mean,
when you pay someone,
79
00:03:34,233 --> 00:03:36,316
they only tell you
what you want to hear.
80
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:39,133
Absolutely, sir.
81
00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:44,133
You are so clever
and witty and handsome...
82
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,166
Oh, shut up!
83
00:03:47,416 --> 00:03:50,216
You know,
there is a chance
she could run off.
84
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:52,400
I mean, if she met someone
85
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,300
and convinced herself
it was fate.
86
00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:58,660
Boy, that would really
tear the children up.
87
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,200
Well, you know how
attractive they find her.
88
00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:04,416
I mean, nurturing
and caring and all that.
89
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:08,160
Why don't you tell her
how they feel?
90
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:11,660
Don't use any names,
just convey their thoughts.
91
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:12,383
Lost without you.
92
00:04:12,416 --> 00:04:14,433
Never leave.
93
00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:17,500
Love you so.
94
00:04:17,830 --> 00:04:19,100
Are you completely mad?
95
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,316
She'll think
I'm talking about myself.
96
00:04:21,350 --> 00:04:23,366
Now,
why didn't I think of that?
97
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:28,266
You are so clever and witty
98
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:30,216
and handsome...
99
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:37,316
Dad, a confirmation
is one of the most
100
00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:39,266
important events
in a young man's life.
101
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,466
No, no, no.
Where are the tears?
102
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,100
Where's the emotion?
103
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:48,300
You know,
you're no Erik Menendez.
104
00:04:48,333 --> 00:04:51,216
Fran, I'm not an actor.
I can't just cry on cue.
105
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,830
Well,
try this one on for size.
106
00:04:53,116 --> 00:04:57,433
Your father made
some terrible investments
and your trust fund, gone.
107
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,416
No. No!
108
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:03,100
That's good. That's good.
109
00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,350
Use that.
110
00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:06,433
Uh, Mr. Sheffield,
Brighton has something
111
00:05:06,466 --> 00:05:08,416
that he wants to
speak to you about.
112
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,333
Dad, I've been thinking,
and, well,
113
00:05:10,366 --> 00:05:14,500
it's very important
in a young man's life
to have a real confirmation,
114
00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:16,333
and it would mean
so very, very much to me
if would you would just...
115
00:05:16,366 --> 00:05:19,483
Oh, my God,
your heel's going
through my foot!
116
00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:25,330
Do you think Erik
would have said that
to Leslie Abramson?
117
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:31,330
You know, Miss Fine,
I think
you're absolutely right.
118
00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:33,330
Brighton should
have a big party.
119
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:36,166
Oh, I'm so glad
you changed your mind,
120
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,116
because, you know,
you're only 14
once.
121
00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:43,150
Twenty-nine,
you can be eight, 10 years.
122
00:05:43,183 --> 00:05:44,366
Oh, Fran,
you're the best.
123
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:48,330
Oh, honey, it's gonna be
just like a real bar
mitzvah.
124
00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:51,116
Now, get off me.
I know what you're doing.
125
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:53,216
Hey, today I am a man.
126
00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:59,200
So, tell me,
what's the plans
for the big event?
127
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:01,383
Well, are you ready for this?
Yeah.
128
00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:05,830
I'm taking the entire family
on a cruise.
129
00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:07,100
That's fabulous.
130
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:10,350
I inspired you.
Where you going?
131
00:06:10,383 --> 00:06:12,160
To the Caribbean.
132
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:15,316
That's fabulous.
Just like me.
133
00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:16,466
What cruise line?
134
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,330
Celebrity.
135
00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:22,000
That's fabulous.
Me, too.
136
00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:24,400
I know.
We're coming with you.
137
00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:26,150
Why?
138
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,316
Now, Miss Fine,
wasn't it your idea
139
00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:34,330
that Brighton should have
a big bar-mitzvah-like to do?
140
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,330
Yeah, bar mitzvah on land.
141
00:06:37,466 --> 00:06:39,830
We're desert people.
142
00:06:39,116 --> 00:06:41,116
We don't like to get wet.
143
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,466
That's why
we parted the Red Sea.
144
00:06:45,116 --> 00:06:48,133
Oh, Miss Fine,
I know what
you're thinking.
145
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,150
You're on this boat
to find Mr. Right.
146
00:06:50,183 --> 00:06:53,266
Well, don't you worry.
We'll respect your privacy.
147
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,266
So will Morty,
Sylvia, and
Yetta.
148
00:06:57,416 --> 00:07:00,466
You invited my parents
and my grandmother
149
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,133
on the first sexy vacation
I've had in three years?
150
00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:08,416
Yes.
That's so thoughtful of you.
151
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:12,330
But you said
Brighton should be
surrounded by
family.
152
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:14,450
I meant your family.
153
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,500
Excuse me, sir.
154
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:19,433
I may be overstepping
my bounds here,
155
00:07:19,466 --> 00:07:23,330
but I've invited
the Fines and Miss Babcock,
156
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:24,116
as you requested,
157
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:25,483
and I think
it's very unfair
158
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,116
to intrude on this
poor girl's vacation.
159
00:07:28,150 --> 00:07:29,133
You're coming, too.
160
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:31,500
[EXCLAIMING]
Caribe!
161
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:33,100
♪♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪♪
162
00:07:33,133 --> 00:07:35,330
♪♪ Hot, hot, hot ♪♪
163
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:38,133
[HORN BLOWING]
164
00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:48,383
Don't worry,
Franny, I promise you,
you won't even know I'm here.
165
00:07:50,466 --> 00:07:54,283
Then maybe you can
let go of my jacket?
166
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,160
Then I'll fall.
167
00:07:58,316 --> 00:08:00,183
Miss Babcock
is out of her mind.
168
00:08:00,216 --> 00:08:03,466
I haven't seen one
desperate single woman
on this whole ship.
169
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000
Oh, my God, gorgeous guy.
How's my hair?
170
00:08:06,330 --> 00:08:07,183
Who cares?
He's mine.
171
00:08:07,216 --> 00:08:10,160
Val! Val, I saw him first!
172
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,166
Yetta.
173
00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:15,150
Welcome aboard
theCentury,
I'm your captain.
174
00:08:15,183 --> 00:08:16,450
Oh, how do you do?
175
00:08:16,483 --> 00:08:21,216
I'm Fran Fine,
and--and this is my
birth control device.
176
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,266
Nice to meet you.
177
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:27,416
Oh, you look so different
without your blue uniform
178
00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:31,000
and your big
handlebar moustache.
179
00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:33,183
Yetta,
that's Captain
Crunch.
180
00:08:33,216 --> 00:08:36,330
I know who it is.
181
00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:40,400
That picture on the box
must have been
taken years ago.
182
00:08:44,166 --> 00:08:46,266
Darling,
I don't think
I'm gonna make it.
183
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:49,500
Oh. Uh, Captain,
I'd like you
to meet my mother.
184
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,366
She's a little nervous
about being so far out
at sea.
185
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,366
TheCentury
the safest ships afloat.
186
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,100
Don't lie to me.
187
00:08:56,133 --> 00:08:58,333
Have you ever
run out of food?
188
00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:01,383
Ma, calm down.
It's a huge ship.
189
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:04,366
There's no way
they're gonna run out of...
190
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:09,500
Say, do they have
an A&P on Saint Thomas?
191
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:13,416
Well, what happened
with Mr. Gorgeous?
192
00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:15,133
Gay.
193
00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:18,350
Look at him making out
with that girl over there.
194
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:21,100
Wait until she finds out.
195
00:09:22,383 --> 00:09:25,330
Well, I don't know
why I'm looking to
pick up men anyway.
196
00:09:25,660 --> 00:09:26,366
I mean,
the psychic said that
197
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,266
the man of my dreams
was going to find me.
198
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,183
Ah, Miss Fine, I found you.
199
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:33,183
Oh, Fran, you've gotta
see the video arcade.
It is so big.
200
00:09:33,216 --> 00:09:34,400
Fran, there's a club
just for kids.
201
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,160
Children, please wait.
Wait a minute.
202
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,660
Now,
Miss Fine is on vacation.
203
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,316
Let's not bother her.
204
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:40,416
But, Dad,
you just dragged us
205
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,283
all over the ship
looking for her.
206
00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:45,133
To tell her we're not
going to bother her.
207
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,660
Well, that's all right.
That's okay.
208
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,500
Listen, you kids,
if you need me
for anything,
209
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:53,100
I'm on the plaza deck,
Room 5102.
210
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:54,450
Hey, we're in 5103.
211
00:09:54,483 --> 00:09:56,300
And I'm in 5104.
212
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:58,466
[ALL CHATTERING]
213
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,830
Oh, my God,
that's fabulous.
214
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,660
You're just so
full of surprises.
215
00:10:08,266 --> 00:10:11,150
Would you let go
of me, old woman?
216
00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:14,200
Then I'll fall,
and I'll have to spend
217
00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:16,400
the entire cruise
in our room.
218
00:10:16,433 --> 00:10:18,133
I don't...
219
00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:22,160
What do you mean our room?
220
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,150
Well, you see, the thing was,
when I made the arrangements,
221
00:10:24,183 --> 00:10:25,450
there were only
two rooms left.
222
00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:27,160
Well, I couldn't
share with a woman,
223
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,316
so I was forced
to take the suite.
224
00:10:29,350 --> 00:10:31,100
Why didn't you
give us the suite?
225
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:32,166
Well, I offered, but...
226
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,466
What do we need with
a wet bar and a Jacuzzi?
227
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,300
A couple of old maids
like us.
228
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,400
Hi, kids.
229
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:51,433
Hey, Fran.
230
00:10:51,466 --> 00:10:53,350
Oh, God, Val,
can you believe
231
00:10:53,383 --> 00:10:57,333
those two 17-year-old twins
playing ping pong over there?
232
00:10:57,366 --> 00:11:01,100
I don't know
who's more gorgeous,
the boy or the girl.
233
00:11:03,366 --> 00:11:05,416
Okay,
let's take their chairs.
234
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,000
[BOTH SIGHING]
235
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:11,450
So, Val, did you get
the dining room menu?
236
00:11:11,483 --> 00:11:13,116
Yeah, it's right here.
237
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,150
The late seating offers
a doctor across from us
238
00:11:15,183 --> 00:11:17,116
with an accountant
on the side,
239
00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:19,350
and the early comes
with two retired couples,
240
00:11:19,383 --> 00:11:23,150
but we're literally on
top of the seafood bar.
241
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,283
Seafood bar.
Seafood bar.
242
00:11:25,316 --> 00:11:28,350
It doesn't matter
who I eat with
because the psychic told me
243
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,830
that,
by the end of this cruise,
244
00:11:30,116 --> 00:11:34,000
I was going to dance on water
with the man of my dreams.
245
00:11:35,166 --> 00:11:36,416
I went to a psychic.
246
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:39,116
He told me I'd be single,
living with my parents
247
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:41,500
and 10 pounds heavier.
248
00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:43,416
Please, I'm at least
20 pounds heavier.
249
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:48,100
Oh, hi, Ma.
Where's Daddy?
250
00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:50,216
He's floating in the pool.
251
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:55,500
Where is he?
252
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,233
Morty,
did you forget something?
253
00:12:00,383 --> 00:12:03,433
Stays on in a monsoon,
mytuchus.
254
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:09,216
Darling, I met the most
gorgeous guy for you.
255
00:12:10,216 --> 00:12:13,100
There he is.
Arch your back.
256
00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:16,330
Hi.
257
00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:17,166
I'm Steve Goodman.
258
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,160
Hi, Steve.
I'm Fran Fine.
259
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,333
Your mother told me
so much about you.
260
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,133
You know,
my sister also graduated
261
00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:25,160
Hillcrest High
five years ago.
262
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:29,166
What's left for us
to talk about?
263
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:33,330
Well, we could talk
about the mambo contest
Saturday night.
264
00:12:33,660 --> 00:12:35,660
Think you could
keep up with me?
265
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:38,116
He's asking me
to dance on water.
266
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:40,133
Don't break my heart.
267
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:41,200
Don't tell me
you're with someone.
268
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:44,416
Oh, no, no, no.
I am free as a bird.
269
00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:47,000
Completely unattached.
270
00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:49,160
[SIGHING]
There you are.
271
00:12:50,183 --> 00:12:53,116
Did we remember
to set the alarm
before we left the house?
272
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:56,266
Mr. Sheffield,
there are 2,000
people on board.
273
00:12:56,300 --> 00:13:00,660
What, do I got
a LoJack stuffed
in my bra?
274
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,300
Mr. Sheffield,
275
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:05,500
the white chaises
are for loading
276
00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:09,100
and unloading
potential husbands only.
277
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:10,416
Don't mind me.
278
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:13,100
I just came up
for some fresh air.
279
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:16,200
Yeah, I think
I'll do a couple
hundred laps in the pool.
280
00:13:18,116 --> 00:13:21,400
I think you got your
trunks on backwards.
281
00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:25,466
The whole string is
hanging out over here.
282
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,433
Oh, right.
Uh, don't mind me.
283
00:13:29,466 --> 00:13:31,483
Carry on.
284
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,316
That's Grandma Yetta.
She's sharp as a tack.
285
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,466
It's hard to believe
I got a granddaughter
over 30.
286
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,330
She's senile.
She's senile.
287
00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:57,433
Craps. Sorry, sir,
you lose again.
288
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,350
Hello, Niles.
289
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,316
Now, I knew you were
a high roller.
290
00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:07,483
Those Bermuda shorts
you wore to the pool
were a huge gamble.
291
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:10,400
This from a woman
whose flip-flops
292
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,233
could transport
refugees from Cuba.
293
00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:19,466
Seven's a winner.
294
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,400
Looks like
my luck is changing.
295
00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:29,333
Craps, you lose.
296
00:14:31,116 --> 00:14:33,433
Come on, you have two
chips left. Go for it.
297
00:14:33,466 --> 00:14:36,416
Papa needs a new
pair of oven mitts.
298
00:14:42,660 --> 00:14:43,366
11 is the winner.
299
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,330
Seven, he wins again.
300
00:14:54,830 --> 00:14:56,400
Are you a good witch
or a bad witch?
301
00:14:56,433 --> 00:15:01,133
♪♪ Ole ole, ole ole ♪♪
302
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:19,116
♪♪ Me mind on fire
Me soul on fire ♪♪
303
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:21,166
♪♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪♪
304
00:15:23,483 --> 00:15:25,350
♪♪ Party people ♪♪
305
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:28,483
♪♪ All around me
feeling hot, hot, hot ♪♪
306
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,183
♪♪ What to do ♪♪
307
00:15:32,216 --> 00:15:34,183
♪♪ On a night like this ♪♪
308
00:15:34,216 --> 00:15:36,116
♪♪ Music sweet ♪♪
309
00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:38,333
♪♪ I can't resist ♪♪
310
00:15:38,366 --> 00:15:42,000
♪♪ We need a party song ♪♪
311
00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:45,283
♪♪ A fundamental jam ♪♪
312
00:15:45,316 --> 00:15:48,166
♪♪ So we go rum-bum-bum-bum ♪♪
313
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:52,160
♪♪ Yeah, we rum-bum-bum-bum ♪♪
314
00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:55,233
♪♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪♪
315
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,366
♪♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪♪
316
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,416
♪♪ Oh, Lord ♪♪
317
00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:10,250
♪♪ See people rocking ♪♪
318
00:16:10,283 --> 00:16:11,450
♪♪ Hear people chanting ♪♪
319
00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:13,466
♪♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪♪
320
00:16:16,216 --> 00:16:17,450
♪♪ Keep up this spirit ♪♪
321
00:16:17,483 --> 00:16:19,216
♪♪ Come on, let's do it ♪♪
322
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,183
♪♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪♪
323
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,316
♪♪ It's in the air ♪♪
324
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,183
♪♪ Celebration time ♪♪
325
00:16:26,216 --> 00:16:28,133
♪♪ Music sweet ♪♪
326
00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:30,316
♪♪ Captivate your mind ♪♪
327
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:33,416
♪♪ We have this party song ♪♪
328
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:37,400
♪♪ This fundamental jam ♪♪
329
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,433
♪♪ So we go rum-bum-bum-bum ♪♪
330
00:16:43,116 --> 00:16:45,283
Not so fast or I'll fall.
331
00:16:48,433 --> 00:16:51,400
[SIGHING] Wasn't that
a magnificent sunset?
332
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:53,000
Mmm-hmm.
333
00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:54,400
I just wish
it could last forever.
334
00:16:54,433 --> 00:16:56,366
Oh, me, too.
335
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,660
You know, next to candles,
336
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,266
sunset is the most
youthful lighting.
337
00:17:02,416 --> 00:17:04,400
What a wonderful day.
338
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:06,500
You know,
it was a great idea
339
00:17:06,830 --> 00:17:08,400
to make Brighton's
confirmation such an event.
340
00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:10,483
Well, we've got
a lot to celebrate.
341
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,333
Brighton's becoming a man
342
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,330
and I'm getting one.
343
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,250
Oh, yes, Steve.
344
00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:19,266
Nice chap. Nice chap.
345
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:22,450
Strange how one nostril's
larger than the other.
346
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,660
I didn't notice.
347
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:26,266
Oh, really?
348
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:29,383
Yes, it throws off
the whole symmetry
of his face somehow.
349
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,283
Well,
if it doesn't bother you.
350
00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:34,660
I mean, I know
I couldn't live with it.
351
00:17:35,316 --> 00:17:38,383
I could live with
a weird nostril myself.
352
00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:42,830
Oh, Steve, there you are.
353
00:17:42,116 --> 00:17:45,183
Well, listen,
I should leave
the two of you alone.
354
00:17:45,216 --> 00:17:47,400
I'm sure you want
to get to your dinner.
355
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:50,366
You know, Maxwell,
you're welcome to
join us.
356
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,160
Oh, well, that sounds...
357
00:17:55,433 --> 00:17:59,160
Terribly inconvenient.
I couldn't possibly.
Good night.
358
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,183
Are you sure?
359
00:18:01,216 --> 00:18:03,000
Well, actually...
360
00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:07,383
Absolutely sure.
Have fun.
361
00:18:07,416 --> 00:18:09,333
Okay. Good night.
362
00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:15,350
Niles, what do you think?
363
00:18:15,383 --> 00:18:19,366
Now,
if she really has met
the man of her dreams,
364
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,333
I may have lost her forever.
365
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:24,660
Well, that's life.
366
00:18:25,483 --> 00:18:27,333
Hello, Miss Babcock.
367
00:18:27,366 --> 00:18:29,466
I don't know if
it's the sea air,
but you look...
368
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,383
What do you want?
369
00:18:31,416 --> 00:18:34,366
20 minutes at the slots,
my baby by my side.
370
00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:38,300
Oh, this is gonna
cost you big.
371
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:41,316
I thought
you were duty-free
on the high seas.
372
00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:44,500
Sorry.
Old habits, my beauty.
373
00:18:45,466 --> 00:18:47,366
Name your price.
374
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:51,150
Ninety-five pounds.
British?
375
00:18:51,183 --> 00:18:53,250
No, Yiddish.
376
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:57,283
Meet your new roommate.
377
00:18:57,316 --> 00:18:59,150
Hi, Neil.
378
00:19:05,133 --> 00:19:07,383
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
379
00:19:16,483 --> 00:19:18,450
Here, sweetie,
you want a drink?
380
00:19:18,483 --> 00:19:20,233
I'm not allowed
to have any drinks
381
00:19:20,266 --> 00:19:22,183
with little
umbrellas in them.
382
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,350
The rum she don't care about.
Kids!
383
00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:34,266
If I snore tonight,
nudge me.
384
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,216
MAN: Thank you to
thedancers.
385
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:46,383
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
386
00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:49,216
And Benjie Easterman
as Barbra Streisand.
387
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:52,160
If he weren't
heading for the men's room,
you'd swear it was her.
388
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:53,216
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
389
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:55,200
And now, what you've
all been waiting for.
390
00:19:55,233 --> 00:19:57,216
Get ready to mambo!
391
00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:59,350
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
where is Steve?
392
00:19:59,383 --> 00:20:02,383
They're starting
the dance contest,
and I don't even see him.
393
00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:05,316
You see,
he's not gonna show.
You can't trust him.
394
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:08,333
He won't make you happy.
395
00:20:08,366 --> 00:20:11,233
I don't want to be happy.
I want to be married.
396
00:20:11,266 --> 00:20:13,660
Oh, Steve. Steve.
397
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,266
I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to
sit this one out, Fran.
398
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,000
What? What happened?
399
00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:18,216
Come on, let's go.
400
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:21,166
What did I tell you?
They're all gay.
401
00:20:23,266 --> 00:20:25,660
Where are you taking him?
402
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,330
This man's a stowaway.
403
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,183
I'm sorry, Fran.
I'm really sorry.
404
00:20:29,216 --> 00:20:32,300
And I'll pay back
all the sundries
I charged to your cabin.
405
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:35,300
Oh, God, a stowaway.
406
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:38,200
No wonder he wanted
to sleep with me.
407
00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:41,000
He didn't have a room.
408
00:20:42,416 --> 00:20:46,330
Oh, Miss Fine, I'm so sorry.
409
00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:47,433
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
please just leave me alone.
410
00:20:47,466 --> 00:20:51,166
I am so humiliated.
I just want to hide.
411
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:55,416
MAN:Couple number one,
Fran Fine and Steve Goodman.
412
00:20:55,450 --> 00:20:59,450
Miss Fine, may I be
the man of your dreams
for this one dance?
413
00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,400
I don't think I could.
414
00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:05,316
First prize,
a special singles
cruise on the
415
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:08,433
All right.
Twirl me, pull me, dip me,
mambo, two, three, four.
416
00:21:08,466 --> 00:21:11,183
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
417
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:44,366
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
418
00:21:48,483 --> 00:21:50,416
Mr. Sheffield, you know,
419
00:21:50,450 --> 00:21:52,316
the psychic told me
that I would dance
420
00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:55,116
on water with
the man of my dreams.
421
00:21:55,150 --> 00:21:57,183
What a waste of money
that was.
422
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,250
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
423
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,660
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]