1
00:00:04,330 --> 00:00:05,350
-Oh, hi, Niles.
-Hmm?

2
00:00:05,383 --> 00:00:08,416
Say, look at this great
Mother's Day present I got.

3
00:00:08,450 --> 00:00:11,433
-50% off on the red dot sale.
-Hmm.

4
00:00:11,466 --> 00:00:15,000
Oh, by the way,
here's your magic marker.

5
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:18,150
Every light in this
entire house is on.

6
00:00:18,183 --> 00:00:21,266
Do you people realize
how much energy
we're wasting here?

7
00:00:22,216 --> 00:00:24,150
Would you just
sign my report
card?

8
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,133
Nice try, Brighton.

9
00:00:29,466 --> 00:00:33,500
Oh, B, you failed French.

10
00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:35,100
-What are you talking about?
I got a "B."
-No, you didn't.

11
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:39,000
You turned the "F" into a
"B"
with a red magic marker.

12
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,150
You know, I am horrified.

13
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,333
Fran, you've gotta
promise me

14
00:00:43,366 --> 00:00:45,100
you won't tell Dad
I failed French.

15
00:00:45,133 --> 00:00:47,133
You know what a pain
he can be.

16
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:51,660
Your father?
The most compassionate,
understanding,
handsome...

17
00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:52,433
He's standing
right behind me.

18
00:00:52,466 --> 00:00:54,100
Oh, yeah.

19
00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:57,216
That's right, Brighton.
And you are getting a tutor.

20
00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:59,160
A tutor?

21
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,830
Oh, that's not how you learn
a foreign language.

22
00:01:01,116 --> 00:01:02,333
You gotta go
to the country

23
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,233
and immerse yourself
in the culture.

24
00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:05,266
Forget it, Miss Fine.

25
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:07,116
You're not getting a trip
to Paris.

26
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:11,333
I tried that when
I wanted to perfect
my Swedish meatballs.

27
00:01:11,366 --> 00:01:13,150
He sent me to Ikea.

28
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,350
Now, you know,
I might not mind
a hot-looking French
tutor,

29
00:01:17,383 --> 00:01:19,830
some babe
in a short
skirt,

30
00:01:19,116 --> 00:01:20,366
spiked heels,
a little
accent.

31
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,100
Oh, come on,

32
00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:24,116
do you think
your father's gonna
hire a floozy like that

33
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:26,200
to teach his kids?
Please.

34
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,350
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

35
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:34,200
<i>♪♪ She was working</i>
<i>in a bridal shop</i>
<i>in Flushing, Queens ♪♪</i>

36
00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:35,483
<i>♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend</i>
<i>kicked her out ♪♪</i>

37
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,333
<i>♪♪ In one of those</i>
<i>crushing scenes ♪♪</i>

38
00:01:37,366 --> 00:01:39,266
<i>♪♪ What was she to do?</i>
<i>Where was she to go? ♪♪</i>

39
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:42,316
<i>♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪</i>

40
00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:45,660
<i>♪♪ So over the bridge</i>
<i>from Flushing</i>
<i>to the Sheffield's door ♪♪</i>

41
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,383
<i>♪♪ She was there</i>
<i>to sell makeup,</i>
<i>but the father saw more ♪♪</i>

42
00:01:47,416 --> 00:01:50,160
<i>♪♪ She had style!</i>
<i>She had flair!</i>
<i>She was there! ♪♪</i>

43
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:54,100
<i>♪♪ That's how</i>
<i>she became the nanny! ♪♪</i>

44
00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:56,350
<i>♪♪ Who would have guessed</i>
<i>that the girl</i>
<i>we've described ♪♪</i>

45
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,366
<i>♪♪ Was just exactly what</i>
<i>the doctor prescribed? ♪♪</i>

46
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,100
<i>♪♪ Now the father</i>
<i>finds her beguiling ♪♪</i>

47
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:01,333
<i>♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪</i>

48
00:02:01,366 --> 00:02:03,116
<i>♪♪ And the kids</i>
<i>are actually smiling ♪♪</i>

49
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:04,216
<i>♪♪ Such</i><i>♪♪</i>

50
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:06,160
<i>♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪</i>

51
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:10,000
<i>♪♪ When everybody else</i>
<i>Is wearing tan ♪♪</i>

52
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,830
<i>♪♪ The flashy girl</i>
<i>from Flushing ♪♪</i>

53
00:02:12,116 --> 00:02:14,330
<i>♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪</i>

54
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,216
Fran, what are you
doing to the blouse
you bought your mother?

55
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:27,366
I'm sewing the size
in upside down so the "L"
looks like a "7".

56
00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:33,160
Basically I'm knocking
40 pounds off her
for Mother's Day.

57
00:02:34,216 --> 00:02:38,116
Better you should give
her
some grandchildren
before she dies.

58
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,266
How much did she
pay you to say that?

59
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,150
Nothing.

60
00:02:44,183 --> 00:02:46,183
What do I need?
Knock wood.

61
00:02:46,216 --> 00:02:49,133
I live in
a beautiful
mansion,

62
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:52,330
and thanks God
I got my
health.

63
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,133
Oh, can you believe
ma would lay guilt

64
00:02:56,166 --> 00:02:58,416
on a little girl just
to get what she wants?

65
00:02:58,450 --> 00:03:03,500
I want a kid so I
could
do that, too.

66
00:03:03,830 --> 00:03:04,366
Having kids is hard work.

67
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,166
I wouldn't know
where to start.

68
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,250
How about by getting a date?

69
00:03:10,283 --> 00:03:11,283
Well, I'll be back shortly.

70
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,283
I'm just going out to lunch

71
00:03:12,316 --> 00:03:13,283
with a friend of mine.

72
00:03:13,316 --> 00:03:15,216
-Okay.
-Mr. Wilder.

73
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:17,100
He's getting divorced
for the second time.

74
00:03:17,133 --> 00:03:19,233
Married a beautiful
blond chorus girl.

75
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:22,266
His poor children
were so attached to her.

76
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:25,250
Been disinfecting
the extension
phone
again, Niles?

77
00:03:26,233 --> 00:03:28,500
Cold and flu season, sir.

78
00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:29,466
[GRUNTS]

79
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,333
Well, the whole
thing's
a bloody mess.

80
00:03:32,366 --> 00:03:34,660
I'll tell you,
I'm not gonna
remarry

81
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,166
until the children are
grown
and out of the house.

82
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,660
Well, wait a minute.

83
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:40,483
That could be,
like, 10 years.

84
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,416
I mean, what if you
met the right girl?

85
00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:44,216
You think she's gonna
wait all that time

86
00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,660
to settle down
and start a family?

87
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,150
I don't know.
If she's the right
person,
she'll understand.

88
00:03:48,183 --> 00:03:49,483
No, she won't.

89
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,166
[HORN HONKING]

90
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,466
That'll be Mr. Wilder.

91
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,400
He bought a new
Bentley to hide

92
00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:58,233
some of the money
from her divorce lawyer.

93
00:03:58,266 --> 00:03:59,416
[CHUCKLES]

94
00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:02,830
Bundle up, sir.
There's just
so much I can do.

95
00:04:04,216 --> 00:04:06,233
Oh, meanwhile, I gotta
spend the whole afternoon

96
00:04:06,266 --> 00:04:08,483
interviewing French
tutors for Brighton.

97
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,483
Well, what happened to the one
Mr. Sheffield liked, Nannette?

98
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,283
No, no.

99
00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:16,483
[DOORBELL RINGS]

100
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,233
Oh. I'll tell you,
it's a good thing

101
00:04:18,266 --> 00:04:19,483
Mr. Sheffield put
me
in charge of this,

102
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,216
'cause unlike a man,

103
00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:23,100
I will hire a tutor

104
00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:26,160
based solely on their
academic credentials.

105
00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:28,400
<i>-Bonjour.</i>
-You're hired.

106
00:04:37,116 --> 00:04:39,266
Miss Fine, it's 85 degrees
in here.

107
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,466
Why did you turn up the heat?

108
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,183
Oh, would you leave me alone?

109
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:45,160
I'm checking out
the tutor's credentials.

110
00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:49,500
[SPEAKING FRENCH]

111
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:55,416
Mighty impressive.

112
00:04:55,450 --> 00:04:57,416
<i>Viva la</i>

113
00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:59,183
Oh, croissants.

114
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,416
<i>Croissants.</i>

115
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:03,333
I never thought
I'd say this to you,
but more nasal.

116
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,483
Niles, I'm an American.

117
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,316
I don't have to
put on some fake accent
just to impress
someone.

118
00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:17,166
<i>Allo.</i>

119
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,216
Would you care
for some<i>croissants?</i>

120
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,300
<i>Merci, chérie.</i>

121
00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:25,100
[SPEAKS FRENCH]

122
00:05:25,133 --> 00:05:28,283
Another time. Once
more.
With feelings, huh?

123
00:05:28,316 --> 00:05:31,200
[SPEAKING FRENCH]

124
00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:35,400
No. No, no.
You murder the
language.

125
00:05:35,433 --> 00:05:39,330
Brighton, say it
as though you were

126
00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:42,500
speaking to an
exquisite
woman, huh?

127
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:43,266
<i>Je t'adore.</i>

128
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,483
<i>Je t'adore.</i>

129
00:05:46,466 --> 00:05:48,660
<i>Je t'adore.</i>

130
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,433
Well, honey,
even I understood that.

131
00:05:49,466 --> 00:05:51,160
Go shut the door.

132
00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:01,330
Come on, guys,
it's a Saturday.

133
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:02,450
I don't want to be
stuck in the house.

134
00:06:02,483 --> 00:06:05,433
Listen, Brighton,
you're not going anywhere
until you pass French.

135
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:10,100
So just plant
your little<i>derrière</i>
on the chair.

136
00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:11,466
Today is a school day.

137
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,466
You should listen to
your beautiful nanny.

138
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,500
Recess.

139
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,100
Forgive me if I stare.

140
00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:23,200
You have such
classic
features.

141
00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:25,830
You remind me of a Rodin.

142
00:06:25,116 --> 00:06:28,316
Rodan, the pterodactyl
that terrorized Tokyo?

143
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,330
Well, I've been called worse.

144
00:06:35,183 --> 00:06:37,133
[SPEAKS FRENCH]

145
00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:39,183
In my country, a woman
as beautiful as you

146
00:06:39,216 --> 00:06:41,100
would have a family
of her own

147
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:44,100
or at least be
responsible
for one breaking up.

148
00:06:44,133 --> 00:06:45,183
[LAUGHS]

149
00:06:45,216 --> 00:06:48,450
That is so sweet.

150
00:06:50,233 --> 00:06:54,116
Perhaps you
would like to join
me for dinner
tonight?

151
00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:56,350
Oh, Philippe, that's awfully
sweet of you.

152
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,433
But it's a little last-minute.

153
00:06:57,466 --> 00:06:59,483
I mean, I already made
dinner plans.

154
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,100
But you know what?
Let me just go see

155
00:07:02,133 --> 00:07:03,266
if I can change them.

156
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,333
Okay?

157
00:07:04,366 --> 00:07:06,383
Niles, Niles,
cover up the holes

158
00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:08,830
on the Lean
Cuisine
with some tape

159
00:07:08,116 --> 00:07:10,830
and shove it back
in the freezer.

160
00:07:24,450 --> 00:07:26,200
Oh, Fran,
you look so
pretty.

161
00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:28,183
I've never seen you
in that dress.

162
00:07:28,216 --> 00:07:29,316
Oh, sure you have, honey.

163
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:31,133
This is the one
that I always pull out

164
00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:34,183
when my relationships start
to get a little serious.

165
00:07:34,216 --> 00:07:36,660
No. I've never seen you
in that dress...

166
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:38,133
You made your point, honey.

167
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,200
[DOORBELL RINGS]

168
00:07:39,233 --> 00:07:41,660
I'll get it.

169
00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:43,150
Philippe.

170
00:07:43,183 --> 00:07:45,150
<i>Bonsoir,</i>

171
00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:53,283
He's French. It's cool,
isn't it?

172
00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:58,133
You know, Fran,
maybe I should say
hello to Philippe.

173
00:07:58,166 --> 00:08:00,116
I mean, I don't wanna
be rude.

174
00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:03,216
Now, sweetie,
this is Brighton's
tutor.

175
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,830
But aren't
you
failing
Italian?

176
00:08:05,116 --> 00:08:06,200
No.

177
00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:08,316
Well, don't you
think you should
be?

178
00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:10,450
[LAUGHS] Yeah.

179
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,416
<i>Bonsoir,</i>

180
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:17,160
Did you study your
French last night?

181
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,660
Well, how's this?

182
00:08:23,316 --> 00:08:26,200
Did I pass the oral exam?

183
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,660
Ah, Philippe,
I see you're exposing

184
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:32,116
my nanny to your
native tongue.

185
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,830
Mr. Sheffield. I'm sorry.

186
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,350
I guess I just have
no French resistance.

187
00:08:39,366 --> 00:08:41,300
Well, neither do the French.

188
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:43,483
They surrendered in every war
they've ever been in.

189
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,166
That is
because
we are lovers,
not fighters.

190
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,483
I believe your
employer
is jealous, huh?

191
00:08:50,266 --> 00:08:53,500
Miss Fine, I believe
your date is presumptuous.

192
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:56,333
One thing a Frenchman can spot
a mile away is a cuckold.

193
00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:58,660
Oh, really?

194
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,200
Now, you see,
I would have thought

195
00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:01,483
that would have been
a plate of stinky cheese.

196
00:09:02,466 --> 00:09:04,283
-Limey.
-Frog.

197
00:09:04,316 --> 00:09:06,160
The only good
thing
to come out

198
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,350
of your country
is Andrew Lloyd
Webber.

199
00:09:08,383 --> 00:09:09,416
All right. That does it.

200
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:12,383
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.

201
00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:15,350
You know, I had a dream
like this once.

202
00:09:22,466 --> 00:09:26,150
How long do we have
to put up with that
posturing Frenchman?

203
00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:27,383
And why do they let
so many foreigners

204
00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:29,433
into this country
in the first place?

205
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:32,466
Crumpet, sir?

206
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,366
Oh, Maxwell,
don't be so selfish.

207
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:41,660
Philippe and Nanny Fine
are perfect for one
another.

208
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,350
You know how
the French
love
a fine wine.

209
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:48,416
Well, now he can listen
to one 24 hours a day.

210
00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:53,166
[LAUGHING]

211
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,400
No sour grapes.

212
00:09:54,433 --> 00:09:57,166
You could have foreign men
worship you, too.

213
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,133
Go to India.
You'd be sacred.

214
00:10:05,316 --> 00:10:07,300
Why is she throwing herself
at him anyway?

215
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:10,350
I mean, it's not as if
she's never seen
a good-looking man before.

216
00:10:10,383 --> 00:10:13,283
I've been known
to turn a few heads
in my time, right, Niles?

217
00:10:13,316 --> 00:10:15,300
You're a brick

218
00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:16,466
house.

219
00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:21,416
Mighty, mighty.

220
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,283
But perhaps Miss
Fine
has reached a point

221
00:10:24,316 --> 00:10:26,266
in her life where she
wants
a little more.

222
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:28,116
What do you mean,
a little more?

223
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:30,433
Well, you know,
sir,
a little something
extra like...

224
00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:33,333
He proposed! He proposed!

225
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,400
...that.

226
00:10:35,350 --> 00:10:37,333
What? What do you mean
he proposed?

227
00:10:37,366 --> 00:10:39,183
Well, I knew
he was up to something

228
00:10:39,216 --> 00:10:42,100
'cause he started
with
that "Shut the door.
Shut the door."

229
00:10:43,316 --> 00:10:46,233
Miss Fine, how could the man
possibly want to marry you?

230
00:10:46,266 --> 00:10:48,200
<i>Pardon moi?</i>

231
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:50,416
Well, I mean,
he barely even knows you.

232
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:54,350
Well, some people
know what they want
as soon as they see
it

233
00:10:54,383 --> 00:10:56,150
'cause, unlike
other people,

234
00:10:56,183 --> 00:10:58,250
they are in
touch
with their
feelings

235
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,400
and are not
afraid
to express them.

236
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:03,330
<i>Deux points,</i>
<i>deux</i>

237
00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:06,266
Just what exactly
are you saying?

238
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,383
What are you saying?

239
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,166
I'm not saying anything.

240
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,250
Bingo!<i>Au revoir.</i>

241
00:11:21,316 --> 00:11:22,416
What? What's the big news

242
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:24,416
you couldn't tell
me
over the phone?

243
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:27,160
Happy Mother's Day.

244
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:28,400
[SCREAMS]

245
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,000
Are you pregnant?

246
00:11:34,330 --> 00:11:35,216
No.

247
00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:42,283
Oh, I can't believe
that Mr. Sheffield
finally proposed to
you.

248
00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:45,200
Oh, no, Ma.
It's not Mr. Sheffield.

249
00:11:45,233 --> 00:11:47,316
It's Philippe, the guy
that I've been seeing.

250
00:11:48,283 --> 00:11:52,116
Someone proposed to you
without even meeting
your mother?

251
00:11:53,216 --> 00:11:55,350
Gee, you know,
I never made that
connection before.

252
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,483
Darling, I don't
like this at all.

253
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,283
Oh, Ma, you're gonna
love Philippe.

254
00:12:01,316 --> 00:12:02,466
He is the most passionate,

255
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,330
sensuous man
I've ever met.

256
00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:07,830
You should see him
eat a piece of fruit,

257
00:12:07,116 --> 00:12:09,333
tearing it apart
like an animal,

258
00:12:09,366 --> 00:12:12,330
juice dribbling
down his chin,

259
00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:13,433
wiping it with his sleeve.

260
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:17,133
I'll tell you,
he reminds me
a lot of Daddy.

261
00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:22,133
Sweetheart, don't go
by the sex.

262
00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:23,483
Don't go by the looks.

263
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,216
I made that mistake
with your father.

264
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,150
The man that I let
my daughter marry

265
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:33,133
has to live up to
my standards, darling.

266
00:12:34,150 --> 00:12:35,183
<i>Bonjour, chérie.</i>

267
00:12:35,216 --> 00:12:37,160
My son!

268
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:45,660
Philippe, ma.
Ma, don't scare him.

269
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:48,183
What? Like I don't know
how to talk to a person

270
00:12:48,216 --> 00:12:50,660
from a foreign country?

271
00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:54,466
Hello. I'm Sylvia Fine.

272
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,483
Thank you
for your lovely statue.

273
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,183
We put it
in the harbor

274
00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:11,500
so everyone could see it.

275
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,133
That's good, ma.

276
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:21,116
Now, it's time
to take your<i>el dopa.</i>

277
00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:25,200
Hello, Sylvia, how are you?

278
00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:30,166
Not kicking myself
like someone else
in this room must be.

279
00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:35,466
Phil, now that
we're<i>mishpocheh,</i>

280
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:41,100
family, we have so
much to talk about.

281
00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:44,283
Morty and I will pay
for the entire wedding.

282
00:13:44,316 --> 00:13:47,450
Your side will just pay
for the food.

283
00:13:47,483 --> 00:13:51,233
But don't worry,
the Fines are not
big eaters.

284
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,300
Congratulations, Philippe.

285
00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:02,133
<i>Merci,</i>

286
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,483
Snail eater.

287
00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:07,166
Your queen
looks like a
man.

288
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,383
Are you two at it again?

289
00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:15,366
This is getting ridiculous.

290
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,166
He got you last.

291
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,300
<i>Chérie,</i>
we must get ready

292
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:21,366
for the interview
for our Green
Card.

293
00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:24,350
Um... Philippe, uh,

294
00:14:24,383 --> 00:14:26,416
could you perhaps
clear this up for me?

295
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:31,166
If you marry Miss Fine,
you get to stay in this
country.
Is that right?

296
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,233
You insult me, sir.

297
00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:35,500
I wanted to take her
to France

298
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:37,330
to live in
my brother's<i>château,</i>

299
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:38,366
but she insisted
on remaining here

300
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,300
to take care
of your
children.

301
00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:42,266
That's right.

302
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:46,350
The<i>château</i>
was conveniently left out
of the conversation,

303
00:14:46,383 --> 00:14:49,000
but that's right.

304
00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:50,366
Now, about Christmas time,

305
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,100
does your brother
like<i>mishpocheh</i>

306
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,150
Bear with me.

307
00:15:00,183 --> 00:15:02,160
The INS has to determine

308
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,150
that yours will not simply be
a marriage of convenience.

309
00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:07,300
Well, I'll tell
you,
it was pretty
convenient for

310
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:11,330
'cause if I hadn't
met someone soon,
I was gonna hang
myself.

311
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,216
So exactly how long
did you go out with
Fran

312
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,316
before you proposed?

313
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:21,830
All I remember is getting lost
in her eyes,

314
00:15:21,116 --> 00:15:23,350
then she spoke with
a cute little accent,

315
00:15:23,383 --> 00:15:24,433
and I was hers,

316
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,150
body and soul.

317
00:15:27,283 --> 00:15:30,483
Thank God love
is not only blind,
it's deaf, too.

318
00:15:33,116 --> 00:15:34,383
When was she born?

319
00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:37,500
Well, I know she's 26.

320
00:15:39,450 --> 00:15:44,160
That's a rough conversion
from the metric system.
Move on.

321
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,100
What is her favorite food?

322
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:49,300
Well, we dine on love.

323
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:51,200
But I never get enough.

324
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:53,383
I'm always hungry for more.

325
00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:55,300
Oh, can we wrap this up?

326
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,250
I think he's
ready
for dessert.

327
00:15:59,433 --> 00:16:02,166
Is Miss Fine
the only American woman

328
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,500
you would consider dating...

329
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,250
Considered dating?

330
00:16:06,283 --> 00:16:08,300
<i>Absolument.</i>

331
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:13,116
The moment our two souls met,
it was an explosion of love.

332
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,216
Have you ever heard
such utter rot?

333
00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:21,250
[IMMITATING PHILIPPE]
"Our two souls met in
an explosion of love."

334
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,450
-Couldn't you just retch?
-Quite right, sir.

335
00:16:25,483 --> 00:16:26,466
Too flowery,

336
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,166
not nearly
as seductive as

337
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,116
[SCREAMS]
"Miss Fine!"

338
00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:38,830
No more, please.
I am spent.

339
00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:45,330
[SIGHING]

340
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,660
Hello, Caca.

341
00:16:58,383 --> 00:16:59,400
What?

342
00:16:59,433 --> 00:17:02,000
Is that not what
C.C. stands for?

343
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:04,116
This is what
the butler told
me.

344
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:15,283
You know, Philippe,
you have made me
the happiest woman on Earth.

345
00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:18,383
And how have I done
that
<i>mon coeur?</i>

346
00:17:18,416 --> 00:17:21,333
By taking Nanny Fine
off my hands...

347
00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:25,250
Arms... Shoulders?

348
00:17:25,283 --> 00:17:28,116
Your skin is like
white<i>chocolat,</i>
<i>chérie.</i>

349
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,483
Aren't you engaged
to Nanny Fine?

350
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,133
<i>Oui.</i>

351
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,350
And you think I would condone
this type of scandal with me?

352
00:17:43,283 --> 00:17:44,300
<i>Oui.</i>

353
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:50,316
<i>Monsieur,</i>
I am deeply
offended.

354
00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:58,160
Stop it.

355
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000
[SPEAKS FRENCH]

356
00:18:10,283 --> 00:18:13,166
Did Caca do a no-no
in the kitchen?

357
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,416
Now she's going to
have to clean it up.

358
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,200
What do you mean?

359
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:25,660
Well, someone's
got to tell Miss Fine
that she's marrying a cad.

360
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,830
I could never break
her heart like that.

361
00:18:27,116 --> 00:18:28,133
I can.

362
00:18:29,166 --> 00:18:30,383
But I won't.

363
00:18:30,416 --> 00:18:32,116
Destroy Nanny
Fine's
relationship

364
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:35,160
and be stuck
with her
forever?

365
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,283
You've been
inhaling
a little too much
Easy-Off, Beulah.

366
00:18:39,283 --> 00:18:41,233
Big mistake.

367
00:18:41,266 --> 00:18:42,366
If you told,
it would make you

368
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,300
so attractive
to Mr. Sheffield.

369
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,330
How?

370
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,183
Well, a handsome man
came onto you.

371
00:18:49,216 --> 00:18:51,116
Remember,
boys never want a toy

372
00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:53,266
until another boy wants
to play with it.

373
00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:57,150
Listening.

374
00:18:57,183 --> 00:18:59,000
Besides,
Philippe is a philanderer.

375
00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:00,166
The marriage will never last.

376
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,433
When Miss Fine is devastated,

377
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:04,266
whose strong,
British arms will be there
to comfort and...

378
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:06,350
Maxwell!

379
00:19:07,433 --> 00:19:09,266
What shall we put
the bridesmaids in?

380
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,316
Fuchsia or lime green?

381
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:14,500
No woman looks good
in lime green.

382
00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:15,483
Lime green it is.

383
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,300
<i>Je t'adore.</i>

384
00:19:20,216 --> 00:19:21,233
Okay.

385
00:19:24,316 --> 00:19:26,383
The man is obsessed
with shutting the door.

386
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:32,200
-Miss Fine,
I have something to tell you.
-Oh?

387
00:19:32,233 --> 00:19:35,300
Your French fiancé Philippe's
a philanderer.

388
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:38,660
Try saying that
five times fast.

389
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:40,433
Miss Fine, I'm serious.
He made a pass at C.C.

390
00:19:40,466 --> 00:19:42,250
That's right.
He kissed me.

391
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:45,433
Another man wanted me,
C.C. Babcock,
for his love toy.

392
00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:51,166
How dare you make
something up like
that
just to tear us

393
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,160
-I have never...
-It is true.

394
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,266
I cannot resist
such beautiful woman.

395
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:57,250
I was appalled.

396
00:19:58,266 --> 00:20:01,160
Tell her how you said
my skin looked
like white chocolate.

397
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,283
[FRAN GASPS]

398
00:20:02,316 --> 00:20:06,660
Oh, my God,
you called me
your Reese's piece.

399
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:13,266
What kind of a man
would do this to a
woman?

400
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,116
A Frenchman.

401
00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:19,466
<i>Chérie,</i>
I love all
women,

402
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,350
but I marry you.

403
00:20:21,383 --> 00:20:22,433
Well, fine,

404
00:20:22,466 --> 00:20:24,383
I love all men.

405
00:20:24,416 --> 00:20:28,216
So when we're married,
I guess it won't bother you
when I do this.

406
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,183
Kissing an English man
is like kissing your mother.

407
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,466
Oh, really?
Then, what about this?

408
00:20:48,466 --> 00:20:50,416
This is no good.

409
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:53,000
You made your point.

410
00:20:56,330 --> 00:20:58,300
Fran, you do not understand.

411
00:20:59,366 --> 00:21:01,383
In France,
men are like
bees.

412
00:21:01,416 --> 00:21:05,166
We must
pollinate
all the flowers
in the garden.

413
00:21:05,466 --> 00:21:07,350
Well, I'll tell you
something.

414
00:21:07,383 --> 00:21:09,216
I don't think
you should be so free

415
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:11,383
and easy with your stinger
there,

416
00:21:12,483 --> 00:21:14,333
because in this country,

417
00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:18,183
we have what's known
as the Bobbitt bee.

418
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:23,466
But,<i>chérie, je t'adore.</i>

419
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,216
My pleasure.

420
00:21:34,383 --> 00:21:37,450
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.

421
00:21:37,483 --> 00:21:41,283
Oh, Miss Fine, there, there.

422
00:21:42,283 --> 00:21:45,416
Hey, what do you say
I take you out for
a nice supper?

423
00:21:45,450 --> 00:21:49,166
Oh, no.
I couldn't eat
anything.

424
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,660
Maybe a small lobster

425
00:21:54,350 --> 00:21:57,160
and a twice-baked potato.

426
00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:01,660
Why do I listen to you?

427
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:03,400
I just drove her
straight into his arms.

428
00:22:03,433 --> 00:22:07,183
Well, there's no such
thing
as a perfect plan.

429
00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:09,466
Cheers, Caca.

430
00:22:10,366 --> 00:22:13,250
[♪♪♪]

431
00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:24,283
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]