1 00:00:01,466 --> 00:00:03,150 Fran, what are we doing here? 2 00:00:03,183 --> 00:00:05,160 The guys that come to this coffee shop 3 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,133 already got girls they picked up at the club. 4 00:00:07,166 --> 00:00:10,150 Honey, that's why you and I are shoo-ins. 5 00:00:10,183 --> 00:00:13,216 You know what those chicks are gonna look like under these lights 6 00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:17,250 with their big hair and gaudy dresses and overly done makeup? 7 00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:21,266 A couple of hookers, that's what. 8 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,350 Oh, I'm never gonna meet anybody. 9 00:00:25,383 --> 00:00:27,116 I'm such a loser. 10 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:29,266 Val, you're your own worst enemy. 11 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:33,366 And anytime now a guy can come up to you and say hi. 12 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,416 Hi. 13 00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,450 Do you mind? We're talking here. 14 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,116 Hey, could I get your name and number? 15 00:00:40,150 --> 00:00:43,000 FRAN: Why? Was that your Porsche we hit in the front? 16 00:00:44,366 --> 00:00:45,333 What Porsche? 17 00:00:45,366 --> 00:00:46,433 Oh, nothing. 18 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:52,660 Are you actually making a move on Val? 19 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,133 Uh... 20 00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:54,133 Yeah. 21 00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,350 BOTH: [SCREAMING] 22 00:00:55,383 --> 00:00:58,433 Oh, Val, you see. 23 00:00:58,466 --> 00:01:00,266 I told you it was gonna happen. 24 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,283 The three-year drought is over. 25 00:01:02,316 --> 00:01:05,133 You're not gonna be an old maid! 26 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,400 All right, play hard-to-get. 27 00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,416 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 28 00:01:11,450 --> 00:01:14,316 SINGER:♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 29 00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:16,830 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 30 00:01:16,116 --> 00:01:17,366 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 31 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,283 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 32 00:01:19,316 --> 00:01:22,383 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 33 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,116 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 34 00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:27,366 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 35 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,466 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 36 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,266 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 37 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:36,316 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 38 00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:38,383 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 39 00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:40,166 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 40 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,416 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 41 00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:43,166 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 42 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,266 ♪♪ Such♪♪ 43 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,660 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 44 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:49,466 ♪♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 45 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,660 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 46 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,100 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 47 00:01:57,166 --> 00:02:00,316 Maxwell, I have some samples to show you 48 00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:02,316 for our new business cards. 49 00:02:02,350 --> 00:02:03,400 There's this one... 50 00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:05,830 No. You go ahead and pick one, C.C. 51 00:02:05,116 --> 00:02:07,150 You know I really don't care about this sort of... 52 00:02:07,183 --> 00:02:09,000 Sheffield should be bigger. 53 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,216 I agree. 54 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:12,150 That's why I think we should go with this one. 55 00:02:12,183 --> 00:02:14,166 -Fine. -Move your thumb. 56 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,233 [EXCLAIMS] 57 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,283 The other one. 58 00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:22,400 "Sheffield-Babcock Productions"? 59 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,316 Yes, Maxwell. 60 00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:27,000 I think it's time I got some recognition. 61 00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:30,316 I perform a very important function around here. 62 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,330 Oh, that's true, sir. That couch would be floating all over the room 63 00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:34,483 if she weren't here to hold it down. 64 00:02:37,830 --> 00:02:39,000 Maxwell, this partnership discussion 65 00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:42,200 is long overdue, and you always find a way of avoiding it. 66 00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,283 Oh, that's absurd, C.C. 67 00:02:43,316 --> 00:02:45,183 I certainly don't try to avoid... 68 00:02:45,216 --> 00:02:47,483 Oh, Miss Fine. Do come in. 69 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,133 I didn't break it. 70 00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:50,150 Break what? 71 00:02:50,183 --> 00:02:51,366 Uh, my diet? 72 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:54,400 Come, sit. Sit, sit, sit. 73 00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:57,150 So how is that wacky family of yours, eh? 74 00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:59,660 Oh, well, let's see. 75 00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,250 Oh, you know, they scrambled the Spice Channel 76 00:03:01,283 --> 00:03:03,383 at Grandma Yetta's retirement home. 77 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,416 Two freak pregnancies. 78 00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:10,500 And you know ma's mole, 79 00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:12,330 the one that kept changing colors? 80 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,300 Well, thank God, nothing. 81 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:16,250 Doctor called it a mood mole. 82 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,450 [ALL LAUGH] 83 00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:21,200 Dad wasn't so lucky, though. 84 00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,330 You know that burning sensation he has... 85 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:25,660 Shut up! 86 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,450 He doesn't really care. 87 00:03:28,483 --> 00:03:30,483 He is just listening to your blather 88 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,166 to avoid talking to me. 89 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,300 Well! 90 00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:38,183 Anywho, the burning sensation... 91 00:03:38,216 --> 00:03:40,316 Nanny Fine, wouldn't you rather share this 92 00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:43,160 mindless dribble with your friend Val? 93 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,216 Well, yes, I would. 94 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,450 But Val's not around much these days ever since 95 00:03:46,483 --> 00:03:50,483 she found herself a boyfriend. 96 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,350 ALL: [LAUGHING] 97 00:03:52,383 --> 00:03:56,366 Oh, no, it's true. It's true. 98 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,133 Val has a life, and I don't. 99 00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:00,160 It's a world gone mad. 100 00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:05,660 It's like when Rhoda got married before Mary. 101 00:04:06,350 --> 00:04:09,000 Oh, poor Nanny Fine. 102 00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,150 Would you like a nice cup of tea? 103 00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:13,383 Oh, you know, that would be very nice. 104 00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:16,000 Good. Get me one with lemon, too. 105 00:04:18,366 --> 00:04:21,116 God, how do I put up with that woman, 106 00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:24,150 not to mention the remains of decay over here? 107 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:30,416 C.C., I founded this company when I was 17 years old, 108 00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:33,233 and I am not about to give half of it away. 109 00:04:33,266 --> 00:04:35,200 Without me, there would be no 110 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,100 Maxwell Sheffield Productions. 111 00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:43,660 Niles, would you leave us alone for a moment? 112 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,483 Oh, certainly, sir. I'm almost done. 113 00:04:48,116 --> 00:04:49,366 Now, look, C.C. 114 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,200 I had already produced seven shows in England 115 00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:54,366 before you became my secretary! 116 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,660 [CHUCKLING] 117 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,266 Oh, I forgot about those seven shows. 118 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,116 What did the critics call them? 119 00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:09,133 "Sleepy," "Dopey," "Lousy," and "Closey"? 120 00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:17,316 All right, C.C. If you're unhappy here, 121 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,200 please don't let me stand in your way. 122 00:05:20,233 --> 00:05:24,250 Fine. If that's the way you feel, I quit! 123 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:28,330 Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah! 124 00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:31,116 Well, why didn't you say something? 125 00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:33,300 I'm sorry, sir. I just-- I just got so excited. I mean, 126 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,433 she said... and then-- then you said... and when she said, "I quit," 127 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:41,830 well, I-I-I just wanted to roll over, light up, and watchLetterman. 128 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,100 Oh! 129 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,830 [♪♪♪] 130 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,216 Psst, psst. Dad, is Fran here? 131 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,830 -No. -Oh, thank God. 132 00:05:54,116 --> 00:05:56,160 First, she makes me go with her to buy some shoes. 133 00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,166 I'm sorry. But those people deserve medals. 134 00:05:59,383 --> 00:06:00,466 Then we went to get a facial. 135 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,116 I'm combination skin, should it ever come up. 136 00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,200 And then I had to sit throughA Star is Born, 137 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,166 both Barbra and Judy's version. 138 00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:12,830 Dad, she's turning me into Val. 139 00:06:12,116 --> 00:06:14,283 [SOBBING] 140 00:06:17,150 --> 00:06:18,483 Brighton, 141 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,000 Yentl 142 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,283 on laser disc. 143 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,660 ♪♪ Brighton, can you hear me? ♪♪ 144 00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:30,830 No! 145 00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:33,450 Look, Miss Fine, I know you're going through 146 00:06:33,483 --> 00:06:35,416 a very difficult stage right now, 147 00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:38,400 and I can't possibly fill Val's shoes. 148 00:06:38,433 --> 00:06:41,333 Well, unfortunately for her, you can. 149 00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:46,330 Well, I'm not busy. 150 00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:48,433 How about I be your best friend tonight, hmm? 151 00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:51,400 Come on, what... what would you and Val do together? 152 00:06:51,433 --> 00:06:53,330 Uh... 153 00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:54,830 Make out. 154 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,266 Miss Fine... 155 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:04,316 Well, sometimes we file our nails, 156 00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:09,330 and we talk about our fantasies, you know, 157 00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:12,183 when our parents are gonna move to Florida, 158 00:07:12,216 --> 00:07:14,466 Haagen-Dazs, burning fat. 159 00:07:15,466 --> 00:07:17,483 You know, the usual. 160 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,483 Well, I have fantasies, too, you know. 161 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,266 Cats 162 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:26,366 Phantom Sunset Boulevard 163 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,200 And, you know, then, sometimes we fantasize about men. 164 00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:35,250 How about you? 165 00:07:35,283 --> 00:07:38,216 Well, I did once have a dream about that chap inWings. 166 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:42,433 Ah, you know, um, 167 00:07:42,466 --> 00:07:46,133 I-- I think this is, uh, getting a little too intimate for me. 168 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,383 I'm, uh, I'm gonna go and watch some sports. 169 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,466 Miss Toriello is here. 170 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,150 FRAN: Oh, Val, you broke up with Pauly? 171 00:07:57,183 --> 00:07:59,000 Oh, you know, it's probably all for the best. 172 00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:01,500 I thought that he was the biggest... 173 00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:02,133 Oh, hi, Pauly. 174 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,283 Hey. 175 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,366 Hi. 176 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,100 Fran, I just gotta use the bathroom. 177 00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,400 Yeah. We could have went to Orange Julius, 178 00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:09,433 but they make you buy something. 179 00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:11,266 Okay, go, go. 180 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:12,333 Oh. 181 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:13,366 FRAN: [CHUCKLING] 182 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,330 Oh, you kids 183 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:21,400 make such a cute couple. 184 00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:24,400 -You know, we should double sometime. -Sure. 185 00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:27,266 -Maybe you could dig someone up for me. -Yeah. 186 00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,483 Like you need any help getting fixed up. 187 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:34,000 I was just pulling your leg. 188 00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:36,450 Got any brothers? 189 00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,333 Fran, I tell you, 190 00:08:38,366 --> 00:08:42,830 I've been waiting for someone like Val for a long time. 191 00:08:42,116 --> 00:08:45,166 Oh, that's really sweet, Pauly. 192 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,400 You know, I'm very happy for the two of you. 193 00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:50,433 I know we're all gonna be great friends. 194 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,433 MAXWELL: Ah, C.C., 195 00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:08,316 come crawling back? 196 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:13,216 Actually, Maxwell, I'm in negotiations with Marvin Hamlisch. 197 00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:15,383 You know him. You met him at the awards dinner, 198 00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:18,250 when he got the Tony and you got the onion soup. 199 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,316 -[CHUCKLES] -Anyway, we're forming a company. 200 00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:25,500 -Oh, really? You and Marvin, eh? -Uh-huh. 201 00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:27,383 So what's it to be, Bablisch Productions 202 00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:30,483 or simply Hamcock? 203 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,000 [CHUCKLING] 204 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,216 Well, I'd love to stay and chat, 205 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,830 but I just dropped by to get my things. 206 00:09:46,116 --> 00:09:49,216 It's gonna take me forever to pack up and get out of here. 207 00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:54,166 [NILES SINGING] 208 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,466 God, Niles, I can't get into my office. 209 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,283 Scripts are piled to the bloody ceiling. 210 00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:08,116 Where do they all come from? 211 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,000 Young, starving writers, sir, 212 00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:11,283 scraping together the $2 213 00:10:11,316 --> 00:10:13,116 to postmark the opus they pray 214 00:10:13,150 --> 00:10:15,233 will rescue them from their squalor. 215 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,450 C.C. reads all of them? 216 00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,316 No. She throws them out. 217 00:10:20,383 --> 00:10:22,350 She was more valuable to me than I thought. 218 00:10:22,383 --> 00:10:25,333 NILES: Oh, true, sir. People with pets live longer. 219 00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:29,416 Oh, God, that would have gotten you, eh, old girl? 220 00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:35,500 Niles, is it possible you actually miss Miss Babcock 221 00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:37,416 and that you're substituting food for insulting her? 222 00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:41,500 Oh, that is ridiculous, sir. 223 00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:43,166 I don't know what you're talking about. 224 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,133 What happened to that quart of Chunky Monkey 225 00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:48,283 that was behind the peas? 226 00:10:48,316 --> 00:10:50,483 Been there, done that. 227 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,316 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I don't know what to do. 228 00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:56,366 Val's new boyfriend made a pass at me. 229 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,300 Well, perhaps you just imagined the whole thing. 230 00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:01,100 I most certainly did not. Now, come over here. 231 00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:03,200 I'm gonna show you exactly what happened. 232 00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:06,116 Put your arms around me. 233 00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:11,283 Okay. Normal, normal, normal. 234 00:11:11,316 --> 00:11:13,133 How do you do? 235 00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:21,116 Are you sure he held you like this for this long? 236 00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:23,166 Well, I'm taking a little dramatic license. 237 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:27,830 I mean, it is a re-enactment of an actual event. 238 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,383 Miss Fine, isn't it possible you just 239 00:11:29,416 --> 00:11:31,133 backed into a drawer or something? 240 00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:32,300 Look, if a drawer could do that, 241 00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:34,160 I'd be living at Ethan Allen's. 242 00:11:37,216 --> 00:11:39,216 Maybe... maybe you're just jealous of the relationship 243 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,416 and wanted to break them up. 244 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,266 I don't have a jealous bone in my body. 245 00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:44,366 That's completely against my personality. 246 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,100 Ah, yes, but sometimes when you're facing a void in life, 247 00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:49,160 you do, well, pretty strange things. 248 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,250 Yeah. You have been acting a little weird lately. 249 00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,166 Oh, you're right. I know you're right. 250 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,433 I just need a new best friend. 251 00:12:02,466 --> 00:12:05,466 Yeah. Boy, I could sure use a good zing at Miss Babcock. 252 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,150 You know, when I was a kid 253 00:12:09,183 --> 00:12:11,433 and our dog died, we got a new one. 254 00:12:11,466 --> 00:12:14,100 That's what I need, a new dog. 255 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,383 Hello. Hello. 256 00:12:15,416 --> 00:12:20,416 [MUMBLING] 257 00:12:25,233 --> 00:12:30,116 Well, C.C., long time no see. 258 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,000 You know, now that you've quit, 259 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:35,330 you're much more punctual than you were when you were getting paid. 260 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,330 Perhaps I should fire you. 261 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,383 Excuse me! 262 00:12:41,416 --> 00:12:44,333 But she happens to commute here. 263 00:12:44,366 --> 00:12:46,250 I live here. 264 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,300 Oh! 265 00:12:51,366 --> 00:12:55,366 I just came by to drop off these contracts that were at my house. 266 00:12:58,116 --> 00:13:02,330 Miss Babcock, look, you're on the cover of theInquisitor. 267 00:13:02,660 --> 00:13:05,400 Oh, how did that get in there? 268 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:10,216 Oh, my God. 269 00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:13,166 "Miracle dog lands plane." Listen to this. 270 00:13:14,283 --> 00:13:16,283 "Peppy, Peppy the Chihuahua..." 271 00:13:16,316 --> 00:13:19,266 Below the dog with the goggles, Maxwell! 272 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:22,133 Me and Marvin Hamlisch, right there. 273 00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:26,500 Oh, well, C.C., seems congratulations are in order. 274 00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:27,283 You're in good company. 275 00:13:27,316 --> 00:13:30,216 Well, Marvin Hamlisch is an institution. 276 00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:33,160 I meant Peppy. 277 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,450 Miss Babcock, I was wondering 278 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,216 -if you'd like to... -Love to. 279 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,330 Well, you didn't even know what I was gonna... 280 00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:42,400 -My treat. -Okay. 281 00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:44,830 Gee, I'm famished. 282 00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,200 We'll have so much to talk about. It'll be great. 283 00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:47,200 Like what? 284 00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,200 Uh... 285 00:13:49,233 --> 00:13:51,160 We'll drink. We'll drink. 286 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,416 You've had sushi before, haven't you, Nanny Fine? 287 00:13:57,450 --> 00:14:01,233 Oh, yeah. Sure, sure, sure, sure. 288 00:14:02,416 --> 00:14:04,150 Smells like fish here. 289 00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:09,400 Oh, look, samples. 290 00:14:24,183 --> 00:14:26,316 Tastes a little rubbery. 291 00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:28,830 You're eating the display. 292 00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:29,283 Oh, my God. 293 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,830 I'm turning into my mother. 294 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,483 You know, once she ate a half of a plastic Oreo cookie 295 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,266 before she realized it was a refrigerator magnet. 296 00:14:47,116 --> 00:14:48,483 Miss Babcock, did you ever think 297 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,300 that a guy was coming on to you 298 00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:54,116 and it turned out that he really had no interest in you at all? 299 00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:56,100 Oh, happens to me all the time. 300 00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:01,216 [EXCLAIMING] 301 00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:03,166 So, what's the green stuff? 302 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,830 It's wasabi. It's like mustard. Gives it a real kick. 303 00:15:06,116 --> 00:15:07,433 Ooh, I love mustard. 304 00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,366 So, tell me, 305 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,233 how's working with Marvin Hamlisch? 306 00:15:18,266 --> 00:15:20,266 How should I know? I never met the man. 307 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,483 Well, what about that picture in the paper? 308 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,183 Oh, Nanny Fine, I know the editor. 309 00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,100 The entire cover was a fake. 310 00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:30,400 You mean, Peppy didn't fly the plane? 311 00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:39,316 Nanny Fine, you've got to help me. 312 00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:42,350 You have to get Maxwell to ask me back. 313 00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:04,216 Please, Nanny Fine, you've just got to do this for me, 314 00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:06,830 for old time's sake. 315 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:09,283 We go way back. 316 00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,450 Remember that time you ate the rubber shrimp? 317 00:16:20,183 --> 00:16:21,400 Gee, 318 00:16:21,433 --> 00:16:26,416 you know, that mustard really clears up the nasal passages. 319 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,333 I like it. 320 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,216 I wonder how long it's gonna last? 321 00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:50,233 FRAN: What's the matter, Mr. Sheffield? 322 00:16:50,266 --> 00:16:53,233 Miss Fine, it's no good. I-- I just can't be genuinely 323 00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:56,416 insincere the way Miss Babcock is. 324 00:16:56,450 --> 00:17:00,200 I tried calling everyone "sweetie darling" like she does. 325 00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:03,450 Now Harvey Fierstein's making pesto for me on Thursday. 326 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,150 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 327 00:17:09,183 --> 00:17:13,160 why don't you and Miss Babcock bury the hatchet? 328 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:17,100 Ask her back. Then you could take her to the benefit tomorrow. 329 00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,416 Actually, Miss Fine, I was just thinking about asking you. 330 00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:22,330 Okay. I can't worry about the world. 331 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,660 [DOORBELL RINGING] 332 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,160 Oh, I'll get that. It's for me. 333 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,466 -Oh, hi, Pauly. -Hey, Fran. 334 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,330 Where's Val? 335 00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:35,133 Oh, she stepped in some dog doo 336 00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:37,116 so she went to buy a lottery ticket. 337 00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:43,500 Well, actually, I'm glad that we have a minute together because... 338 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,133 I just wanted to tell you... you know the other night 339 00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,483 when I accidentally tripped you 340 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,366 and you fell on the floor and then I stepped on your hand? 341 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,233 Hey, no problem. 342 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:57,330 Well, it wasn't exactly an accident. 343 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,150 No kidding? 344 00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:00,166 What about the hot soup? 345 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,350 Oh, I'm so ashamed. 346 00:18:02,383 --> 00:18:04,350 -What about the... -Let's not belabor this. 347 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:10,183 The point is, is that, well, the other day when you hugged me, 348 00:18:10,216 --> 00:18:12,300 I kind of thought that you were coming on to me, 349 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:15,000 and now I realize that I was probably 350 00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:17,830 just jealous of Val having a... 351 00:18:17,116 --> 00:18:20,500 Hey, Fran, say no more. 352 00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:22,166 I just want us all to be good friends. 353 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,450 Me, too. 354 00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:29,166 Pauly! 355 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,350 Val! 356 00:18:30,383 --> 00:18:33,500 -This is not what it looks like. -Yeah. 357 00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:35,250 Well, it looks like you're kissing my best friend. 358 00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:38,183 Okay. I was wrong. This is very similar. 359 00:18:38,216 --> 00:18:39,266 But she kissed me. 360 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,266 Oh, Pauly, you better tell the truth 361 00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,200 or you're gonna be walking funny. 362 00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:50,283 I'm thinking that you've been in this situation before. 363 00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:52,400 Now get out of here! I never want to see you again. 364 00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:54,100 -Get out! Get out! -Get out! 365 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,166 Oh, what a slime. 366 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,000 -What a lowlife. -What a sleaze. 367 00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:00,383 -Ugh! -Some hell of a kisser, huh? 368 00:19:00,416 --> 00:19:01,483 Wasn't he? 369 00:19:08,183 --> 00:19:09,250 [DOORBELL RINGING] 370 00:19:09,283 --> 00:19:12,000 Oh, I'll get it! 371 00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:16,266 I'm coming. 372 00:19:18,316 --> 00:19:23,266 Oh, Miss Babcock, you look fabulous. 373 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,183 What are you doing here? 374 00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:27,233 You called me. You told me you had a plan 375 00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,466 to get me and Maxwell back together. 376 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,333 You told me to get dressed up and get over here! 377 00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:34,333 Oh, that was tonight? Ah, psyched you out. 378 00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:40,000 -C.C., what are you doing here? -Uh... 379 00:19:40,330 --> 00:19:43,330 Well, she came to pick up the tickets for the benefit. 380 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,400 Good! I mean, yes. 381 00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:47,350 But she can't stay long because 382 00:19:47,383 --> 00:19:50,660 Marvin Hamlisch is waiting in the limo. 383 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,300 That's right. Marvin Ham-- Huh? 384 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:54,433 Why don't you invite him in? 385 00:19:54,466 --> 00:19:56,416 Yeah. Why don't you go invite him in? 386 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,266 I can't, Nanny Fine, 387 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:05,233 because he's in the car talking on the car phone to... 388 00:20:05,266 --> 00:20:06,300 C.C. 389 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,183 Hello, Marvin Hamlisch. 390 00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:22,830 Oh, Mr. Hamlisch, I'm one of your biggest fans. 391 00:20:22,116 --> 00:20:25,100 -Can you send me an autographed picture? -Of course. 392 00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:28,400 Just have her write, "To Fran, Love Barbra Streisand." 393 00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:33,830 Maxwell... 394 00:20:33,116 --> 00:20:35,150 Maxwell, I can't imagine why you'd let 395 00:20:35,183 --> 00:20:38,416 this woman go, but your loss is my gain. 396 00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,333 [C.C. LAUGHS] 397 00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:45,316 -How did you... -[SHUSHING] 398 00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:48,233 Excuse me, sir. It's Harvey Fierstein 399 00:20:48,266 --> 00:20:50,000 regarding the pesto. 400 00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:51,400 Can you digest pine nuts? 401 00:20:51,433 --> 00:20:52,433 Oh, my God! 402 00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:57,450 You know what, Harv, put his nuts on the side. 403 00:21:00,383 --> 00:21:04,000 Oh, God, C.C., please, please, 404 00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:07,150 you have to come back. Look, I'll-- I'll make you executive vice president 405 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,466 and give you two full points in the company. 406 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,316 I'm afraid I can't come back for anything 407 00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:14,216 than an equal partnership, Maxwell. 408 00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:16,183 Sorry, C.C., I can't do that. 409 00:21:16,216 --> 00:21:18,383 Kidding! 410 00:21:18,416 --> 00:21:23,330 Come on, C.C., we've got some backers to schmooze. 411 00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:25,330 No hard feelings, hey, Marv? 412 00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:26,133 Good luck with your new show. 413 00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:27,466 I smell a Tony. 414 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,300 Well, then, you should have showered after he left. 415 00:21:32,830 --> 00:21:33,216 [SIGHS] 416 00:21:35,416 --> 00:21:37,660 Welcome back. 417 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,216 So, tell me, would you like a drink? 418 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:45,000 -I'd love it. -Okay. 419 00:21:45,330 --> 00:21:46,383 Oh, Mr. Hamlisch, I'm such a big fan. 420 00:21:46,416 --> 00:21:48,350 Do you know, I saw A Chorus Linenine... 421 00:21:48,383 --> 00:21:50,250 Save it, Niles. 422 00:21:50,283 --> 00:21:51,483 This is Alan Neider, 423 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,350 my music teacher from Hillcrest High School. 424 00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:01,150 Isn't he a dead ringer for Marvin Hamlisch? 425 00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:03,233 I don't see it. 426 00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:13,350 Oh, I'll tell you, it is so pathetic, 427 00:22:13,383 --> 00:22:17,383 the poor guy living in the shadow of a genius. 428 00:22:17,416 --> 00:22:19,200 No real talent himself. 429 00:22:19,483 --> 00:22:24,830 [PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] 430 00:22:26,433 --> 00:22:28,183 Sad, isn't it? 431 00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:43,660 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]