1
00:00:01,483 --> 00:00:05,133
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

2
00:00:05,166 --> 00:00:07,483
I hope Fran's okay.
She's never been
late for breakfast.

3
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,466
Oh, I'm sure Miss Fine's
all right.

4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,433
It takes time for her
to roll out of bed,

5
00:00:13,466 --> 00:00:15,100
throw on a robe.

6
00:00:15,133 --> 00:00:16,400
Well, and then there's
the slipper dilemma.

7
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,266
Fuzzy or formal
marabou-feather pom-pom?

8
00:00:20,366 --> 00:00:22,333
Good morning, everyone.

9
00:00:22,366 --> 00:00:25,366
Miss Fine,
why aren't you undressed?

10
00:00:27,233 --> 00:00:31,216
You know,
I've dreamt of you
asking me that question.

11
00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:34,466
Only you guys
weren't there.

12
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:35,483
But Niles was.

13
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,100
What that man could do

14
00:00:37,133 --> 00:00:38,333
with a feather duster.

15
00:00:39,416 --> 00:00:41,200
Don't ever let him go.

16
00:00:42,266 --> 00:00:44,383
You guys already
started breakfast?

17
00:00:44,416 --> 00:00:49,500
Gee, I was gonna suggest
we all go out to eat,
you know, for a change.

18
00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:51,830
Well, Miss Fine,
I rather prefer
to stay at home.

19
00:00:51,116 --> 00:00:52,433
Niles is the only one
who knows how to make

20
00:00:52,466 --> 00:00:54,316
my breakfast just the way
I like it.

21
00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:56,350
Toast and eggs? Please.

22
00:00:56,383 --> 00:00:58,660
Daniel Day-Lewis
could make that

23
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,483
with his left foot tied
behind his back.

24
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,266
Although, who would want
to eat it?

25
00:01:04,416 --> 00:01:07,660
Come on, aren't you sick
of the same old routine?

26
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,433
I don't have a routine,
Miss Fine.

27
00:01:08,466 --> 00:01:10,330
Of course you do.

28
00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:13,150
I come in here every morning.
I sit down.

29
00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:15,133
You say I look gorgeous.

30
00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:16,316
Well, I don't do that.

31
00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:18,250
Well, start.

32
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,330
-Oh, just one piece of toast
-Oh, just one piece of toast

33
00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:24,216
-this morning, Niles.
-this morning, Niles.

34
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,200
-I think I overdid... it this...
-I think I overdid... it this...

35
00:01:27,233 --> 00:01:28,483
-...weekend.
-...weekend!

36
00:01:29,483 --> 00:01:32,830
[DOORBELL RINGING]

37
00:01:32,116 --> 00:01:34,500
Just what is your problem,
Miss Fine?

38
00:01:34,830 --> 00:01:36,466
We're in a rut, honey.
I mean, Mr. Sheffield.

39
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,166
Nothing ever changes
around here.

40
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,483
I mean, it's Monday morning,
which means Miss Babcock
has just arrived.

41
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,000
She's handing Niles her coat.

42
00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:49,400
She's saying, "Careful,
I just cleaned my fur."

43
00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:54,830
To which he responds,
"Well, don't cough up
any hairballs."

44
00:01:57,266 --> 00:02:01,350
And right about now,
she's getting even with him.

45
00:02:01,383 --> 00:02:03,660
NILES: [SCREAMS]

46
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:06,483
Miss Babcock is here.

47
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,366
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

48
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,233
SINGER:<i>♪♪ She was working</i>
<i>in a bridal shop</i>
<i>in Flushing, Queens ♪♪</i>

49
00:02:15,266 --> 00:02:17,000
<i>♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend</i>
<i>kicked her out ♪♪</i>

50
00:02:17,330 --> 00:02:18,350
<i>♪♪ In one of those</i>
<i>crushing scenes ♪♪</i>

51
00:02:18,383 --> 00:02:20,200
<i>♪♪ What was she to do?</i>
<i>Where was she to go? ♪♪</i>

52
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:23,200
<i>♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪</i>

53
00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:26,330
<i>♪♪ So over the bridge</i>
<i>from Flushing</i>
<i>to the Sheffield's door ♪♪</i>

54
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,316
<i>♪♪ She was there</i>
<i>to sell makeup,</i>
<i>but the father saw more ♪♪</i>

55
00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:30,383
<i>♪♪ She had style!</i>
<i>She had flair!</i>
<i>She was there! ♪♪</i>

56
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:34,116
<i>♪♪ That's how</i>
<i>she became the nanny! ♪♪</i>

57
00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:37,233
<i>♪♪ Who would have guessed</i>
<i>that the girl</i>
<i>we've described ♪♪</i>

58
00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:39,300
<i>♪♪ Was just exactly what</i>
<i>the doctor prescribed? ♪♪</i>

59
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,100
<i>♪♪ Now the father</i>
<i>finds her beguiling ♪♪</i>

60
00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:42,333
<i>♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪</i>

61
00:02:42,366 --> 00:02:44,100
<i>♪♪ And the kids</i>
<i>are actually smiling ♪♪</i>

62
00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:45,200
<i>♪♪ Such</i><i>♪♪</i>

63
00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,160
<i>♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪</i>

64
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,400
<i>♪♪ When everybody else</i>
<i>is wearing tan ♪♪</i>

65
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:52,483
<i>♪♪ The flashy girl</i>
<i>from Flushing ♪♪</i>

66
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,350
<i>♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪</i>

67
00:03:00,166 --> 00:03:02,500
Oh, Fran, can you help me
with this?

68
00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:03,250
It's really hard.

69
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,450
Homework?

70
00:03:06,830 --> 00:03:07,483
No. A<i>Cosmo</i>

71
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,660
Oh, sure, honey.

72
00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:12,400
Let's see.

73
00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:17,830
Oh, "Is your man
making the cut or
are you in a rut?"

74
00:03:17,116 --> 00:03:20,160
Wow, this should
be very informative.

75
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:23,183
-[SHUSHING]
-Yeah, I want to
see if Peter and I...

76
00:03:23,216 --> 00:03:25,433
-Now...
-Fran, you got a minute?

77
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:28,160
-Uh...
-Oh, Fran, it's okay.

78
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,166
I mean, I probably should
be doing my homework.

79
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,383
Oh, sweetie,
you're a gorgeous,
blonde heiress.

80
00:03:32,416 --> 00:03:34,116
You need trigonometry
like a hole...

81
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:35,333
Oh, here you go.
Take your pen,

82
00:03:35,366 --> 00:03:37,466
go upstairs,
do your homework.

83
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,433
Fran, I made a play
date for tomorrow.

84
00:03:39,466 --> 00:03:43,400
Uh-oh, tomorrow's
my manicure day.

85
00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:44,400
That's okay.

86
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,366
Oh, no, it isn't, honey.

87
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,330
I mean,
my personal business

88
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:52,500
should never interfere
with you and your friends.

89
00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:53,366
Can't you change
the play date?

90
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,150
Fran, I don't know
how to say this
without hurting you.

91
00:03:57,183 --> 00:03:59,250
Well, just be honest.

92
00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:01,100
I don't want you
to come with me.

93
00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:04,500
Haven't you ever
heard of a white lie?

94
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:05,450
I think I'm old
enough to go alone.

95
00:04:05,483 --> 00:04:10,330
Alone? What are you, six?

96
00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:11,183
I'm 10.

97
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:16,000
Wow! Are you short for 10?

98
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:18,160
I just don't think
I need my nanny

99
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,160
sitting there,
watching me play
with my friends.

100
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,250
It's kind of embarrassing.

101
00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:25,483
Uh, perhaps I should explain
what a white lie is.

102
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,266
Hi, Miss Babcock.

103
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:31,183
Gee, that outfit
looks fabulous on you.

104
00:04:31,216 --> 00:04:33,200
Why, thank you, Nanny Fine.

105
00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,830
You don't think
it's too tailored?

106
00:04:35,116 --> 00:04:38,660
No, not at all.
Very sexy.

107
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,366
That was a variation
on a white lie

108
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,150
known as lying
through your teeth.

109
00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:49,383
But, you know,
you gotta be careful

110
00:04:49,416 --> 00:04:52,500
because if you
make it too obvious,

111
00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:53,333
they're gonna see
right through it.

112
00:04:53,366 --> 00:04:56,450
-Fran, I really want
to go alone.
-Oh!

113
00:04:56,483 --> 00:04:59,416
Although, I'll miss
the sound of your voice.

114
00:04:59,450 --> 00:05:02,500
It's so soothing.

115
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:05,200
Thank you, sweetheart.

116
00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:06,333
So, can I go or not?

117
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:10,150
Honey, what are you so anxious
to grow up for anyway?

118
00:05:10,183 --> 00:05:13,266
I mean, at your age,
it's cute to be single.

119
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:16,830
Fran, if you don't
have to stay there
babysitting me,

120
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,400
you'll have more
time for yourself.

121
00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:21,266
Sweetie, it's my job.

122
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,330
What do you think?
I need to go to the movies

123
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:26,466
or have lunch with Val
or go shopping...

124
00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:31,660
You know what?
We'll try it once.
We'll see if you like it.

125
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:37,830
Can you imagine,
Miss Fine thinking
I'm predictable?

126
00:05:37,116 --> 00:05:38,433
Me. [SCOFFS]

127
00:05:38,466 --> 00:05:41,300
-Mr. Spontaneity.
-Spontaneity.

128
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,660
Niles, you don't think
I'm predictable, do you?

129
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,483
Well, predictable is good.

130
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,250
Predictable is solid.

131
00:05:54,283 --> 00:05:57,660
Oh, God, even I knew
I was gonna say that.

132
00:05:58,830 --> 00:05:59,400
Well, if I were you,
sir, I'd do something

133
00:05:59,433 --> 00:06:03,300
before she wakes up
in the bedroom
of another man... sion.

134
00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:11,383
Niles, I want her
to be happy here.

135
00:06:11,416 --> 00:06:15,166
How do you suggest I go about
satisfying Miss Fine?

136
00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:23,466
Well, the second way,
sir...

137
00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:26,660
Niles.

138
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,450
Oh, just shake it up,
sir.

139
00:06:27,483 --> 00:06:29,233
Do something wild.

140
00:06:29,266 --> 00:06:31,316
Out there.
Totally unexpected!

141
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,116
I don't know.
Give me a bonus.

142
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,330
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
Gracie doesn't want me

143
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,483
to take her to
play date anymore.

144
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,416
She doesn't need me.

145
00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:45,150
Did you know she was 10?

146
00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:50,233
Miss Fine, do you think
this tie is boring?

147
00:06:50,266 --> 00:06:53,450
Mr. Sheffield, this is
very traumatic for me.

148
00:06:53,483 --> 00:06:56,160
I'm losing my baby.

149
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,450
Yes or no?

150
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:04,330
Well,
it wouldn't be Monday
without your Monday
tie.

151
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,000
That's it. It's gone!

152
00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:08,416
All right.
What else don't you like?

153
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:11,160
I'm not crazy
about the pants.

154
00:07:15,366 --> 00:07:18,166
-Miss Fine!
-Miss Fine!

155
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,416
You are just going to avoid
the whole issue, aren't you?

156
00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:23,400
So predictable.

157
00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:27,000
Oh, oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?

158
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:33,466
Bet you didn't think
I was gonna do that!

159
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,200
Sure.
Tousle Niles' hair.

160
00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:37,416
Typical.

161
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,150
Did he flatten it all out?

162
00:07:40,183 --> 00:07:42,283
Because I do like
a little height.

163
00:07:48,116 --> 00:07:50,660
SYLVIA: Fran, there's
no more room in here.

164
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:52,333
Do you want to take
some of the crystal?

165
00:07:52,366 --> 00:07:55,160
All right. Maybe just
Wilma and Bamm-Bamm.

166
00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:02,416
Don't tell your sister

167
00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:06,160
because I don't want to
start World War III here.

168
00:08:07,383 --> 00:08:11,250
Ma, I can't believe
Gracie doesn't want
to be seen with me.

169
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:14,333
Honey, it's a normal
thing
for a kid to go
through.

170
00:08:14,366 --> 00:08:16,300
Do you remember
when you suddenly

171
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:19,333
didn't want me to
pick you up at school?

172
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:23,660
Yeah. But, ma,
I don't wear a girdle
on the outside of my pants.

173
00:08:25,316 --> 00:08:29,166
Madonna does it,
it's trendy.

174
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,160
I do it, I'm a freak.

175
00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:34,183
If you're so upset,
why don't you talk

176
00:08:34,216 --> 00:08:36,150
to Mr. Sheffield
about it?

177
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:39,300
Oh, me and Mr. Sheffield,
that's a whole 'nother story.

178
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:43,450
I don't think
there's any spark left
in our relationship.

179
00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:48,416
Did you try
unscrewing the light bulbs
for a little mood lighting?

180
00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:52,500
Whenever I want
to turn your father
on,

181
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,466
the first thing I do
is make it dark.

182
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:04,160
But, ma,
me and Mr. Sheffield

183
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:08,150
aren't even close
to unscrewing.

184
00:09:08,183 --> 00:09:11,500
In fact, I think
we're beginning
to bore each other.

185
00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:13,433
Oh, that's normal
in a marriage.

186
00:09:13,466 --> 00:09:16,416
But me and Mr. Sheffield
aren't married.

187
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:18,483
-Are you living with him?
-Yeah.

188
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,000
-Are you taking
care of his kids?
-Yeah.

189
00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:24,660
-Are you having sex?
-No.

190
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,316
Then you're married.

191
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:33,383
Relationships
are like thighs.

192
00:09:33,416 --> 00:09:35,383
They start out smooth,

193
00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:37,283
then they get
a little lumpy,

194
00:09:37,316 --> 00:09:40,416
but without them,
you don't have
a leg to stand on.

195
00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:51,266
You know, ma,
I think you're
about a quart low

196
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,500
on your estrogen.

197
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:59,160
Honey, the point is
you've got to go
with the flow.

198
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:00,350
Things change.

199
00:10:00,383 --> 00:10:02,266
Not here, ma.

200
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:06,660
That's why I always
like to come home.

201
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,400
That, and I need
a place to hide out

202
00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:09,433
when I pretend
to have a date.

203
00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:13,466
Well, honey,
things change here, too.

204
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,300
Look, I changed
the curtains.

205
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:19,383
-I got new contact paper.
-Nice.

206
00:10:19,416 --> 00:10:21,366
I threw your father out.

207
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:25,366
I switched to fat-free
Wish-Bone dressing.

208
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,500
What?

209
00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:30,100
You can hardly
taste the difference.

210
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:32,383
No, ma. What about
you and daddy?

211
00:10:32,416 --> 00:10:34,266
I don't want
to talk about it.

212
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,150
Do you want a blintz?

213
00:10:36,183 --> 00:10:40,330
Ma! Got any sour cream?

214
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:43,200
I do. If you don't care
about expiration dates.

215
00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:44,300
No.

216
00:10:47,233 --> 00:10:50,383
What could daddy have done
to make you throw him
out of the house?

217
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:52,266
[GASPS]
Is it another woman?

218
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:54,330
Of course not.

219
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,466
You know
I don't go that way.

220
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:06,233
We had a fight.

221
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,133
Oh, is that all?

222
00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,283
You two are always fighting.
He'll come back.

223
00:11:10,316 --> 00:11:12,433
It's different this time.

224
00:11:12,466 --> 00:11:14,466
It's for good. Go look.

225
00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:20,383
Oh, my God!

226
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:23,830
He took his good hair!

227
00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,216
Oh, ma.

228
00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:34,250
Oh, Niles, my parents
are splitting up.

229
00:11:34,283 --> 00:11:37,150
What if ma starts
dating other men

230
00:11:37,183 --> 00:11:39,333
and finds one she likes

231
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:44,316
and gets married before me?

232
00:11:46,216 --> 00:11:50,216
Oh, there, there,
Miss Fine. Mm.

233
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,116
Oh, Niles,
I've got to get
them back together.

234
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:59,500
No one in my family
has ever been
divorced before.

235
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:00,250
I thought your sister was?

236
00:12:00,283 --> 00:12:02,100
No. They're just
miserable.

237
00:12:03,233 --> 00:12:05,200
What about
your Aunt Hester
and Uncle Louie?

238
00:12:05,233 --> 00:12:08,150
Never legally married.

239
00:12:08,183 --> 00:12:09,383
How about your
Cousin Ernie and...

240
00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:11,283
What are you? Liz Smith?

241
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:17,183
Oh, Niles, would you mind
preparing a little nosh?

242
00:12:17,216 --> 00:12:21,160
I have my grandmas
coming over,
Yettie and Nettie.

243
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,000
We're gonna try
and figure out a way

244
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,660
to get my parents
back together again.

245
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,300
What shall I prepare? Nuts?

246
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:29,366
Some English toffee?
Biscotti?

247
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,500
Yeah, that sounds good.

248
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:32,133
Just put it in a blender

249
00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:33,250
with a couple of prunes.

250
00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:38,266
Goodbye, Fran. I'm going
to my play date.

251
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:43,100
Wait a minute.
What about instructions?

252
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:46,333
All right, Fran.
Sit down.

253
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,383
-Breathe deeply.
-[EXHALES]

254
00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,233
Here's the number
if you need me.

255
00:12:52,266 --> 00:12:54,216
I'll be right
across the street.

256
00:12:56,366 --> 00:13:00,330
Okay. I'll be all right.
Go ahead.

257
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:03,116
Only, look both ways
before you cross the street

258
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,100
and don't talk to strangers

259
00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:09,000
and don't make contact
with the toilet seat.

260
00:13:10,216 --> 00:13:12,183
That's a good girl.

261
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:17,660
Yeah, you're almost there,
sweetie.

262
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,250
Bye-bye, baby.

263
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,183
[RINGING]

264
00:13:28,216 --> 00:13:31,333
Hi, Gracie?
We made it, honey!

265
00:13:31,366 --> 00:13:33,350
Are you bored?
Do you want me
to pick you up?

266
00:13:33,383 --> 00:13:36,183
I'll buy you something.
Okay, bye.

267
00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:39,366
[SOBBING]

268
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,830
Nanny Fine,
get a hold of yourself.

269
00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:44,216
All these tears just
because of little...

270
00:13:45,216 --> 00:13:46,333
Lacey?

271
00:13:47,283 --> 00:13:50,100
Oh, it's not just
'cause of Lacey.

272
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,283
My parents are splitting up.

273
00:13:52,316 --> 00:13:56,400
Everything that
I've come to rely
and depend on is just gone.

274
00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:59,000
Oh, Nanny Fine,
get a grip.

275
00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,500
My mother left
when I was born.

276
00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:02,350
She wanted a girl.

277
00:14:09,166 --> 00:14:11,350
Sure. It's hard at first.

278
00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:13,350
You're shuttled
from house to house,

279
00:14:13,383 --> 00:14:16,830
forced to choose
who you love the most.

280
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,483
They try to
buy your love,

281
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,660
topping each other's gifts,
giving you more and more

282
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,330
until you've got everything
you ever wanted!

283
00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:26,150
Oh, life can be sweet,
Nanny Fine!

284
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,500
Divorce? Embrace it!

285
00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:32,266
[DOORBELL RINGING]

286
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:36,830
I'm coming. I'm coming.

287
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,330
[COUGHING]

288
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,500
Nanas,

289
00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:55,366
I thought you were
gonna stop smoking.

290
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,200
What, it's gonna
stunt our growth?

291
00:15:00,183 --> 00:15:03,150
Yetta, you promised
you were gonna quit smoking.

292
00:15:03,183 --> 00:15:05,830
She also promised
she wouldn't eat

293
00:15:05,116 --> 00:15:07,300
anything gassy
before we left.

294
00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:13,000
Meanwhile,
did you get a seat
on the express bus?

295
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,416
Oh, it is a wonder

296
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:23,200
I have any class at all.

297
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,250
Oh, there's that floss.

298
00:15:35,216 --> 00:15:36,466
These cookies for us?

299
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,350
Sure, Nana.
Help yourself.

300
00:15:44,116 --> 00:15:46,183
So, Yettie,
did you talk to ma?

301
00:15:46,216 --> 00:15:48,150
Oh, sweetheart, please,

302
00:15:48,183 --> 00:15:52,350
throwing that bum out
was the smartest thing
she ever did.

303
00:15:52,383 --> 00:15:55,166
She should have
married Alan King.

304
00:15:56,483 --> 00:15:59,166
Ma knew Alan King?

305
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,416
No. That was the hitch.

306
00:16:04,416 --> 00:16:06,216
Yetta, you rest.

307
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:10,333
Nettie, did you talk to dad?

308
00:16:10,366 --> 00:16:15,830
Why should I?
I like having
my baby home again

309
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:18,350
in his little room,
in his little bed.

310
00:16:18,383 --> 00:16:20,483
Oh, God, don't tell
me you're bathing him.

311
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:24,133
He's such a good boy.

312
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:28,366
There's a bulb
I couldn't reach to
change for 10 years,

313
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:32,450
but now that
your father's there,
he gave me a boost.

314
00:16:37,483 --> 00:16:42,350
I can't believe you guys.
You're so selfish.

315
00:16:42,383 --> 00:16:46,830
Mom and dad splitting up
isn't about you.

316
00:16:46,116 --> 00:16:48,500
It's about me.

317
00:16:49,830 --> 00:16:51,216
-Look what you did.
-Look what you did.

318
00:16:51,250 --> 00:16:53,250
-Franny...
-Franny,

319
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:55,830
you want a pep'mint?

320
00:16:55,116 --> 00:16:56,183
Okay.

321
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,330
Do you want
an... ashtray?

322
00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:00,216
Where did I get this?

323
00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:04,660
The Hilton. Oh, sure.

324
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:07,300
Oh, forget it.

325
00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:09,433
I'm just gonna
talk to daddy myself.

326
00:17:09,466 --> 00:17:12,500
Come on, Nettie,
we're gonna go
to your place.

327
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:13,150
I can't have people over.

328
00:17:13,183 --> 00:17:15,500
I've got nothing
in the house.

329
00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:18,450
I suppose I'll bake
some cookies.

330
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:24,116
[♪♪♪]

331
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,500
I love my apartment.
It's so cheerful.

332
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,450
Sure. It's like living
inside a Hostess Snowball.

333
00:17:38,116 --> 00:17:39,216
Oh, don't sit down,
Nettie.

334
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,160
I'll never find you.

335
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,330
Where is he?

336
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:46,316
Uh... uh, try the bathroom.

337
00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:48,266
It's the pink door.

338
00:17:50,116 --> 00:17:52,166
I'm gonna start the cookies.

339
00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:56,283
Now, come on, dad,
you know that mom

340
00:17:56,316 --> 00:17:59,830
and you are meant
to be together.

341
00:17:59,116 --> 00:18:00,366
I mean, what are you
gonna do?

342
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,483
Start sitting
at singles bars,

343
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,400
picking up on babes,

344
00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:07,450
hoping that they notice
how much time you put
into your hair,

345
00:18:07,483 --> 00:18:11,100
and all the makeup,
squeezing into
that tight dress.

346
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,266
It's pathetic--
Oh, wait a minute.

347
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:17,233
Hot cookies!

348
00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:22,150
I don't want
things to change.

349
00:18:22,183 --> 00:18:25,450
I want my parents
back together again.

350
00:18:25,483 --> 00:18:29,830
Mom in the kitchen
and dad in the den,

351
00:18:29,116 --> 00:18:31,266
his hair in the bedroom.

352
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,450
Daddy, come out of there.

353
00:18:35,483 --> 00:18:38,166
What are you doing in there?

354
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,266
Me.

355
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:45,000
Ma. In the bathroom?

356
00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:49,330
Well, it is the room he feels
the most comfortable in.

357
00:18:50,116 --> 00:18:53,660
Geez, spare me the details.

358
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,433
I'm just happy
that you and daddy

359
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,333
got together
again and made up.

360
00:18:57,366 --> 00:18:58,383
Twice.

361
00:18:59,483 --> 00:19:02,433
Thank you for your
hospitality, Nettie.

362
00:19:02,466 --> 00:19:04,660
Tramp.

363
00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:07,366
You better believe it.

364
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:14,116
Mr. Sheffield, I'm home!

365
00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:17,416
Oh, thank God,
nothing ever changes here.

366
00:19:17,450 --> 00:19:22,160
Where are you,
my dependable, stable,

367
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:26,160
Rock of Gibraltar,
stodgy, uptight,

368
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,160
totally predictable...

369
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,333
[♪♪♪]

370
00:19:37,233 --> 00:19:40,166
Oh, my God!

371
00:19:41,466 --> 00:19:43,333
Is that my blouse?

372
00:19:45,466 --> 00:19:49,100
Dad? Dad, there's
this really great
party tonight and...

373
00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:50,300
Okay, it might last
until 3:00 a.m.

374
00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:52,150
But before you start
yelling and calling me

375
00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:53,316
"young lady" and
forbidding me to go...

376
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:55,330
Of course, Margaret,
go ahead.

377
00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:56,416
Have a wonderful time.

378
00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:59,100
Oh, dad, you're so strict.
You never let me do anything.

379
00:19:59,133 --> 00:20:02,183
All my friends are--
What'd you say?

380
00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:05,316
I'm cool.

381
00:20:07,483 --> 00:20:10,216
I don't want to
dis your plans.

382
00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:14,660
Do you know
why I'm doing this?

383
00:20:16,183 --> 00:20:18,000
You're toasted?

384
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,000
No.

385
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:24,200
Well, perhaps I'm not
quite as predictable

386
00:20:24,233 --> 00:20:27,200
as some people
like to think I am.

387
00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:29,416
-Margaret?
-See you.

388
00:20:31,316 --> 00:20:34,300
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I know what you're doing,

389
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,333
and believe me,
I'm very flattered,

390
00:20:36,366 --> 00:20:40,660
but don't go changing
to try and please me.

391
00:20:41,433 --> 00:20:43,300
No, Miss Fine.
You were right.

392
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,433
I was far too boring.

393
00:20:45,466 --> 00:20:49,450
I need to mix it up.
Keep 'em guessing.

394
00:20:49,483 --> 00:20:53,160
No. I miss boring.

395
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:56,450
I want it. I need it.
I gotta have it.

396
00:21:03,116 --> 00:21:06,150
At the risk of
slipping into
my old routine,

397
00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:08,250
what the devil are you
talking about, Miss Fine?

398
00:21:08,283 --> 00:21:10,250
I thought you
wanted me to change.

399
00:21:10,283 --> 00:21:13,250
Change a little.
A little is good.

400
00:21:13,283 --> 00:21:16,500
It's like
Michael Jackson's face.

401
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,330
Should have stopped
after<i>Thriller.</i>

402
00:21:26,333 --> 00:21:30,216
Well, I happen to
like the new me.

403
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:32,350
Oh, come on,
you don't want Maggie

404
00:21:32,383 --> 00:21:34,383
going to that wild,
out-of-control party

405
00:21:34,416 --> 00:21:38,266
any more than I
want Gracie going on
a play date by herself.

406
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,300
Oh, I'm fine
with Margaret going.

407
00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:42,160
Till 3:00 in the morning?

408
00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,233
-She's an adult.
-With a strange boy?

409
00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:46,160
I trust her.

410
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:47,233
He's a Kennedy.

411
00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:49,300
Margaret!

412
00:21:49,333 --> 00:21:51,330
How could you
let me do this?

413
00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:53,216
-Well, I was gonna say...
-Look at me.

414
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:56,100
I'm dressed like
Doc bloody Severance

415
00:21:57,330 --> 00:22:00,000
with my Friday tie
on a Tuesday!

416
00:22:01,133 --> 00:22:04,233
Life with you is the most
convoluted, exasperated...

417
00:22:04,266 --> 00:22:06,283
FRAN: Go ahead and yell.

418
00:22:06,316 --> 00:22:09,830
That's stable.
That's healthy.

419
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,316
Hello, Mrs. Lombardi,
is Gracie there?

420
00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:18,250
Oh, no. Let her play.
Let her play.

421
00:22:18,283 --> 00:22:21,133
Uh, yeah. Just tell her
that the doctor called.

422
00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:23,366
It definitely is chicken
pox,
and not to scratch her...

423
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,483
Oh, you want me to come by
and pick her up?

424
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,450
I'll be right over.

425
00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:31,383
Coming, baby.

426
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:34,483
[♪♪♪]

427
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,183
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]