1
00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:06,250
[GASPING]
Maggie!
2
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:09,266
Tilt your head.
3
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,266
Can I vacuum in there yet?
4
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,233
You know,
I think there's more
than enough suction
5
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:19,316
going on in that room.
6
00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:21,400
Why don't you give them
some privacy?
7
00:00:21,433 --> 00:00:24,300
Niles, I'm performing
a very important function.
8
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:27,830
I'm watching out
for her father.
9
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,330
Yeah. The minute
Mr. Sheffield comes
10
00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:33,233
walking through
that front door,
11
00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:37,466
I'll just shift right
into my nanny schtik.
12
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,660
"Maggie, you're too young,
yada, yada."
13
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,483
Wow! Would you
look at the way
she tilts her head?
14
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,133
You know,
I taught her that.
15
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:50,660
Gee, Niles,
that Abdominizer
16
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:53,116
I bought you
is really paying off.
17
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:55,000
[CLEARING THROAT]
18
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,660
Not that your body
could ever compare
with Mr. Sheffield's.
19
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:05,500
He's so handsome and young.
20
00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:06,183
[INDISTINCT]
21
00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:08,500
What are we ever gonna
do with that girl?
22
00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:09,466
She's completely
out of control.
23
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,333
Maybe I should hire
another nanny to watch her.
24
00:01:12,366 --> 00:01:15,330
Well, you know,
that would really
free me up a lot to...
25
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:16,216
Miss Fine!
26
00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:19,466
Look, I'm very concerned
about Margaret.
27
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,330
She has three weeks
of winter vacation
coming up,
28
00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:23,366
and I don't
want her spending
the entire time
29
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,250
on that couch
kissing some boy.
30
00:01:25,283 --> 00:01:28,500
Oh, why don't you do
what my father did
31
00:01:28,830 --> 00:01:30,150
when I entered
my make-out years?
32
00:01:30,183 --> 00:01:32,266
-Huh?
-He walked into the den
33
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,466
and he spliced
into the neighbor's cable.
34
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,116
And?
35
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,433
I don't know.
We haven't seen him since.
36
00:01:41,466 --> 00:01:43,133
Miss Fine!
37
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:46,330
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
she's going to be 17.
38
00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:48,150
I mean, all she's doing
is kissing.
39
00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:50,330
It's not as if
she's running out
of the house
40
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:53,266
to meet some wild drifter
who's picking her up
on a motorcycle.
41
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:56,330
[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING]
42
00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:57,366
Got to go.
That's my date.
43
00:02:01,483 --> 00:02:04,250
SINGER:♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪
44
00:02:04,283 --> 00:02:06,160
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪
45
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,316
♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪
46
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:09,200
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
47
00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:12,283
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
48
00:02:12,316 --> 00:02:15,150
♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪♪
49
00:02:15,183 --> 00:02:18,100
♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪
50
00:02:18,133 --> 00:02:20,133
♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪
51
00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:23,400
♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪
52
00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:26,366
♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl
we've described ♪♪
53
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,400
♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
54
00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:30,166
♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪
55
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,400
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
56
00:02:31,433 --> 00:02:33,150
♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪
57
00:02:33,183 --> 00:02:34,250
♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪
58
00:02:34,283 --> 00:02:36,500
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
59
00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:39,433
♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪
60
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:42,330
♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪
61
00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:44,316
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
62
00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:49,200
If you still
haven't made any plans
for your Christmas vacation,
63
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:51,383
you're welcome to
join me and Daddy.
64
00:02:51,416 --> 00:02:54,283
Oh, well, uh,
you know, Mom,
65
00:02:54,316 --> 00:02:58,366
as tempting as a bus tour
of Florida dinner theaters
sounds,
66
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,166
I don't think I could stand
the thrill of seeing
the Ropers doLove Letters.
67
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:08,316
Oh, JJ Walker's gonna be
inSix Degrees of Separation.
68
00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:11,116
It's not too late
to change your mind.
69
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:14,000
The review says it's dynamite.
70
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:18,160
-Oh, Niles.
-NILES: Huh?
71
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:21,183
It's so hard
planning a vacation
when you're a single.
72
00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:23,350
Yes. It's so much nicer
when you have a family
73
00:03:23,383 --> 00:03:26,350
so you can lug their
ski equipment around Vail.
74
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,133
Sit around the fire
listening to
75
00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:31,233
"Niles, get me a brandy.
Niles, bring me a comforter.
76
00:03:31,266 --> 00:03:33,483
Niles, go out in that
blizzard for a pizza!"
77
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,350
-Niles.
-What...
78
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:39,433
is that on your shoe, sir?
Let me get that for you.
79
00:03:39,466 --> 00:03:42,333
There you are, sir.
Much better, sir.
Merry Christmas, sir.
80
00:03:45,316 --> 00:03:48,233
Miss Fine. Miss Fine,
I've-- I've made a decision.
81
00:03:48,266 --> 00:03:50,830
-Yeah?
-Yeah, I simply can't risk
82
00:03:50,116 --> 00:03:53,100
Margaret spending her
whole winter vacation
with that boy,
83
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,500
so I'm sending her abroad.
84
00:03:55,830 --> 00:03:58,660
A broad?
You want her
swinging that way?
85
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,350
Miss Fine, I'm serious.
86
00:04:08,383 --> 00:04:10,250
I'm sending her away
for three weeks.
87
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:13,830
You're sending her
away from her family
88
00:04:13,116 --> 00:04:14,183
on the holidays?
89
00:04:14,216 --> 00:04:16,330
Uh-huh.
She's going to Switzerland.
90
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:18,100
Just her and her nanny?
91
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,433
Alone.
92
00:04:20,466 --> 00:04:22,233
I'm sending her
to a convent
93
00:04:22,266 --> 00:04:25,483
where she can learn French,
arts, and European history.
94
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:30,183
Wow-wee! That sounds
more boring
than I can even fathom.
95
00:04:31,216 --> 00:04:32,433
And I'm actually
considering
96
00:04:32,466 --> 00:04:34,283
sitting through
a bunch of bad plays
97
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,160
where the only dialog
I'm gonna hear
98
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:39,160
is the audience going,
"What'd he say?"
99
00:04:40,116 --> 00:04:41,416
I don't care how much
Margaret protests.
100
00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:44,466
I'm her father,
and what I say goes.
101
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,483
So talk her into it,
would you?
102
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,166
Me?
103
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,300
Yeah. And try to
phrase it carefully.
104
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,133
I don't want to
come off like an ogre.
105
00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:55,160
Oh, don't worry.
You're not gonna
be an ogre.
106
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:56,283
I'll protect you.
107
00:04:56,316 --> 00:04:59,466
Well, the ogre saw you
sucking face with Eric.
108
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:07,283
Now he wants to send you to
a nunnery in the Swiss Alps.
109
00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:10,330
A convent?
110
00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:12,160
What am I supposed
to do there?
111
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,383
Learn French.
112
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,500
I guess he didn't see
what I saw.
113
00:05:19,316 --> 00:05:22,100
Oh, honey, a convent
might not be that bad.
114
00:05:22,133 --> 00:05:25,233
I got two words for you.
Sound of Music.
115
00:05:26,333 --> 00:05:27,366
I mean, in two hours,
116
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,100
Maria managed
to ditch the nuns,
117
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:31,233
marry a gorgeous captain,
sell the movie rights,
118
00:05:31,266 --> 00:05:34,100
and never have to schlep up
another mountain again.
119
00:05:35,433 --> 00:05:38,233
Oh, come on, Fran,
would you go
if you were me?
120
00:05:38,266 --> 00:05:41,166
Honey, you know,
going away by yourself
could be a great thing.
121
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,283
When I was your age,
I spent an entire summer
on a kibbutz in Israel,
122
00:05:44,316 --> 00:05:47,316
and I had the time
of my life.
123
00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:49,160
A kibbutz?
124
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,316
Is that like one of those
communes in the '60s?
125
00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:54,150
Well, sort of.
126
00:05:54,183 --> 00:05:56,233
Except the only thing
we smoked was fish.
127
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:01,183
Oh, yeah.
But if I go,
Eric will meet another girl.
128
00:06:01,216 --> 00:06:05,330
Oh, no, he won't.
You just tell him
that if he cheats on you,
129
00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:08,183
you're gonna know
just by looking at him.
130
00:06:08,216 --> 00:06:10,350
Who'd be stupid enough
to believe that?
131
00:06:10,383 --> 00:06:12,150
Guys.
132
00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:17,383
Well, I propose we shut up
the office on the 15th.
133
00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:21,416
No one important
is ever around
for the holidays.
134
00:06:21,450 --> 00:06:24,133
You staying in town again,
C.C.?
135
00:06:30,830 --> 00:06:33,660
No. This year I'm getting
as far away from this place
as possible.
136
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,350
Oh, Santa got my letter.
137
00:06:41,316 --> 00:06:43,233
What about you, Niles?
What are your plans?
138
00:06:43,266 --> 00:06:45,233
Aren't we going to Vail?
139
00:06:45,266 --> 00:06:47,450
No, old man.
This year you're on your own.
140
00:06:47,483 --> 00:06:49,466
I am?
141
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,466
Yes. Why don't you
take a nice vacation
just for yourself?
142
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,416
[LAUGHING]
Oh, please, the lost
Marx brother, Cheapo?
143
00:07:01,283 --> 00:07:04,183
Are you suggesting
I'm frugal?
144
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:07,183
MAXWELL: Well,
you have to admit, old man,
I-- I know what I pay you,
145
00:07:07,216 --> 00:07:09,433
and you're not spending it
on your wardrobe, eh?
146
00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:14,400
Oh, come on, Niles,
you never break a buck.
147
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:17,100
You live in Maxwell's house,
you eat his food.
148
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:21,266
Nanny Fine got you
that Flowbee so you
could cut your own hair.
149
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:25,330
Where do you
stash your cash?
150
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:27,366
Somewhere you'll never
get near.
151
00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:32,660
Oh. Your mattress.
152
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,250
No.
153
00:07:35,283 --> 00:07:36,450
His.
154
00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:47,150
Merry Christmas,
Mr. Sheffield.
155
00:07:47,183 --> 00:07:49,000
Maggie's going to a convent
156
00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:52,133
so your round, young virgin
will stay that way.
157
00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:55,266
Miss Fine, I don't know
how to thank you.
158
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:59,500
Oh, you'll think
of something.
159
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,830
Fifth floor at Saks,
Ralph Lauren leather goods.
160
00:08:01,116 --> 00:08:04,660
Ask for Sadie.
I put it on hold.
161
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:07,160
Oh, Daddy, I am so excited
about my trip.
162
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,216
And I owe it all to Fran.
163
00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:11,500
Oh, stop.
164
00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:12,433
No. I mean,
I was against it at first,
165
00:08:12,466 --> 00:08:15,100
but then she really
talked me into it.
166
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:17,133
Stop.
167
00:08:17,166 --> 00:08:19,183
I can't wait to go
on a kibbutz in Israel.
168
00:08:19,216 --> 00:08:21,333
Stop!
169
00:08:21,366 --> 00:08:23,250
What the devil is all this
about a kibbutz?
170
00:08:23,283 --> 00:08:26,660
Oh, honey,
I think you misunderstood
our little conversation.
171
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:29,333
No. No. I remember.
You said that dad
was an ogre and...
172
00:08:29,366 --> 00:08:32,660
No! No! No! No!
173
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,133
I said okra.
174
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,283
Okra was what we planted
on the kibbutz.
175
00:08:38,316 --> 00:08:42,400
That must have been
where you got
your wires crossed.
176
00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:44,100
Well, whatever.
177
00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:47,830
Anyways,
I've got to go
kiss Eric goodbye.
178
00:08:47,116 --> 00:08:50,500
Oh, Fran,
you were so right.
When you tilt your head...
179
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,316
Honey, honey, look,
if you're going on
a kibbutz,
180
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:56,316
start letting the hair
on your legs grow out.
181
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:59,000
You know, it's amazing.
182
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,200
Every time I ask you
to do something,
183
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:02,216
you always manage
to screw it all up!
184
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,450
And yet,
you continue to ask me.
185
00:09:07,466 --> 00:09:10,233
You need help, mister.
186
00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:11,266
There's no way on earth
187
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,830
Margaret is going
to a kibbutz
188
00:09:13,116 --> 00:09:14,416
unchaperoned at her age.
189
00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:18,500
Why?
My mother let me go
when I was a teenager.
190
00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:19,400
Ho, ho, ho.
191
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,133
Oh, you must have been
quite a piece of work
back then.
192
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:25,166
God only knows
how you managed to
scam her into that one.
193
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,330
You know,
you are so wrong.
194
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,450
My mother and I
had a very open relationship.
195
00:09:40,116 --> 00:09:42,450
So, Val, here's the scam
that we tell my mother.
196
00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:45,266
The kibbutz
is completely chaperoned.
197
00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:50,166
There are no gorgeous,
shirtless Israeli guys.
198
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:54,116
And we're only there to absorb
the rich and wonderful culture
of our people.
199
00:09:56,116 --> 00:09:58,200
Got it. [GROANS]
200
00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:01,283
Fran, why does
your mother have to put
the yoghurt in the freezer?
201
00:10:01,316 --> 00:10:04,483
That's her new invention,
frozen yoghurt.
202
00:10:06,383 --> 00:10:09,266
Oh, parents are so stupid.
203
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:12,150
Oh, Fran, look
who's onVirginia Graham.
204
00:10:12,183 --> 00:10:15,283
That really cool guy
fromThe Blue Lagoon.
205
00:10:15,316 --> 00:10:19,366
Mmm, he is going
to be such a big star.
206
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,316
-Change the channel.
-[GRUNTING]
207
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:28,200
WOMAN:Well, now, I want you
to say hello to one of
the most talented, young,
208
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:33,216
bright, exciting
Broadway producers,
Mr. Maxwell Sheffield.
209
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:35,366
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
210
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:39,166
Oh, don't stop now.
211
00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:43,830
Oh, is he a babe!
212
00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:47,333
To think I was
about
to do this musical
213
00:10:47,366 --> 00:10:51,100
with a bunch of
people
running around
dressed
214
00:10:52,366 --> 00:10:54,266
-Heaven forbid.
-Oh, terrible.
215
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,416
Luckily,
luckily, my secretary
talked me out of that one.
216
00:10:57,450 --> 00:11:00,466
Take a bow,
Miss C.C.
Babcock.
217
00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:16,183
SYLVIA: Fran, I just
got off the phone
218
00:11:16,216 --> 00:11:19,133
with Mrs. Spielberg
from down the hall,
219
00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:23,160
and her son is dying
to take you out.
220
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:26,300
Steven? That geek
from AV Squad?
221
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:29,116
[BOTH EXCLAIMING]
222
00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:32,116
How about Mrs. Milken's son?
223
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,660
He's very smart.
224
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:37,416
Meanwhile, he stole money
out of my locker, Ma.
225
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:44,300
So, Val,
what do you want to
do this summer vacation?
226
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:48,250
I want to go someplace
that I can expand my mind
227
00:11:48,283 --> 00:11:52,000
and absorb all the
ancient
heritage.
228
00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:54,183
You're not going
to a kibbutz.
229
00:11:54,216 --> 00:11:57,250
Ma, how did you know?
230
00:11:57,283 --> 00:12:01,660
Darling,
I'm your mother.
I read your diary.
231
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,183
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
232
00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:04,283
Oh, that must be Ma.
233
00:12:12,483 --> 00:12:15,333
We're going into the city.
234
00:12:15,366 --> 00:12:18,483
Uncle Jack's building
is going condom.
235
00:12:22,216 --> 00:12:24,450
Meanwhile, your
meshuggener granddaughter
236
00:12:24,483 --> 00:12:26,466
wants to go to a kibbutz.
237
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,366
Well, you went
when you were her age.
238
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:33,330
[GASPING] Ma!
239
00:12:33,660 --> 00:12:37,300
That was different.
I was building a nation.
240
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:42,500
Ma, I am so never
talking to you again.
241
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:43,333
-Fran...
-I can't hear you.
242
00:12:43,366 --> 00:12:46,450
I can't hear you.
243
00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:50,350
Fran, you better get
this kibbutz thing
out of your head
244
00:12:50,383 --> 00:12:53,500
and start thinking
about your future now.
245
00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:56,300
Or you are gonna wind up
like your Cousin Myra,
246
00:12:56,333 --> 00:13:00,283
over 30 and still single.
247
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:06,466
Sure, Ma, like that's
ever gonna happen.
248
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,283
Oh, Val, you should
see my Cousin Myra.
It is so pathetic.
249
00:13:10,316 --> 00:13:12,830
Thirty-two years old
250
00:13:12,116 --> 00:13:14,150
in a really short
mini-skirt,
high heels,
251
00:13:14,183 --> 00:13:15,383
big hair.
Oh!
252
00:13:15,416 --> 00:13:17,416
It is so sad.
253
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,483
So you're telling me
your mother let you go
254
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,166
7,000 miles across the world,
no argument?
255
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,250
Uh, yeah.
256
00:13:33,350 --> 00:13:35,660
Mr. Sheffield,
I'm telling you,
257
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,216
this is gonna be a really
good experience for Maggie.
258
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,116
I just wish
that you would trust
me
259
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:42,316
as much as my mother did.
260
00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:47,116
[ECHOING]
Oh, sure, a vacuum
accident on your neck?
261
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:50,166
I don't trust you as
far as I can throw you,
young lady!
262
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,000
[POPPING]
263
00:14:00,433 --> 00:14:04,483
Ma, it's me.
264
00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:07,433
Ma?
265
00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:12,166
Hello. Anybody home?
266
00:14:13,116 --> 00:14:15,366
FRAN: Oh, my God!
267
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:19,400
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
268
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,116
Would it kill you
to knock
269
00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:31,333
before you enter
a person's bedroom?
270
00:14:31,366 --> 00:14:33,160
Ma, I'm sorry.
271
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,300
I hear sounds of ecstasy
coming from your room,
272
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,150
I figure you're eating
a cheesecake.
273
00:14:40,266 --> 00:14:44,400
Darling,
if it bothers you,
just forget what you saw.
274
00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:48,133
Well, that's not gonna be
so easy since it's burned
in my cornea.
275
00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:52,266
Darling, what are you doing
here anyway?
276
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,350
Just a minute here.
277
00:14:53,383 --> 00:14:56,660
I've got to take a swig
of Manischewitz.
278
00:14:58,216 --> 00:15:01,500
Mmm, good vintage.
May.
279
00:15:02,316 --> 00:15:05,400
I asked you to get
my stuff from Israel,
remember?
280
00:15:05,433 --> 00:15:08,166
Oh, it's over there.
What do you want
with that junk?
281
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,450
Oh, well, I talked
Mr. Sheffield into letting
Maggie go on a kibbutz,
282
00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:14,183
and I wanted to show her
what a good time I had.
283
00:15:14,216 --> 00:15:16,283
Fran, you hated
the kibbutz.
284
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,433
No, I didn't.
285
00:15:18,466 --> 00:15:22,400
Oh, look,
here's my old journal.
286
00:15:22,433 --> 00:15:25,383
"I hate this kibbutz."
287
00:15:26,466 --> 00:15:31,216
"Friday. Almost able
to braid armpit hair.
288
00:15:33,316 --> 00:15:38,133
Sent Val to Jordan
to smuggle in Lady Bics."
289
00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:40,283
You left halfway through
the program.
290
00:15:40,316 --> 00:15:42,133
Don't you remember?
291
00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:44,200
We had to tell them
that Nana died
292
00:15:44,233 --> 00:15:47,830
so we would get back
the deposit.
293
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,316
Why do I remember having
the time of my life?
294
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,350
What was so great about it?
295
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,000
Fran?
296
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,483
Fran!
297
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,283
[SPEAKING HEBREW]
298
00:16:06,316 --> 00:16:08,466
Uh, yeah, yeah.
Bagel, bagel.
299
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,183
Shalom, matzo ball, shalom.
300
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,350
Now, come over here
and knish me.
301
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,450
Oh, yeah.
302
00:16:21,483 --> 00:16:26,366
Now I remember
why I loved it so much.
303
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,500
That was where I lost my...
304
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,116
hat.
305
00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:37,150
All right.
306
00:16:37,183 --> 00:16:40,000
So you did have fun.
I was wrong.
307
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:43,416
So, maybe Maggie
will just have
as much fun as you.
308
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:48,250
Oh, over my dead body!
309
00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:56,316
[EXCLAIMING]
This old dishrag
has seen better days.
310
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,300
Were your ears burning?
311
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:10,160
Looky, Diamond Jim,
I brought you some
travel brochures.
312
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,116
Don't worry.
They're free.
313
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:17,333
Let's see.
Ooh, windsurfing
in Saint Barts.
314
00:17:17,366 --> 00:17:18,400
Uh-oh.
315
00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:20,183
$25 equipment fee.
316
00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:25,660
Well, you know,
if you flip one
really fast,
317
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:26,366
it's like you're there.
318
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:31,000
Is that how you make
your dates move?
319
00:17:32,466 --> 00:17:35,416
As it happens,
I've made travel plans.
320
00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:39,283
Oh, which island
did you decide on?
Staten or Coney?
321
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:43,250
Actually, I can afford
to make a lovely trip.
322
00:17:43,283 --> 00:17:45,316
I sold a pair of
gaudy gold cuff links
323
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:47,330
Mr. Sheffield gave me,
324
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:49,383
one treble clef,
one bass clef.
325
00:17:52,316 --> 00:17:56,500
I gave Maxwell
those cuff links
for his birthday.
326
00:17:57,266 --> 00:18:01,500
Oh. Well, then, thanks
for the trip.
327
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:07,000
Niles, Niles,
where's Mr.
Sheffield?
328
00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:09,333
I've got to talk
to him about Maggie
going on this kibbutz.
329
00:18:09,366 --> 00:18:11,316
But didn't you already
talk him into it this
morning?
330
00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:13,483
Yeah. But it's this
afternoon.
Now, I've got to talk him
out of it.
331
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,160
-Keep up! Keep up!
-But it's too late.
332
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,330
He's already gone shopping
with her for the trip.
333
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:21,183
Oh, good.
Okay. She's trying on
short shorts and tube tops.
334
00:18:21,216 --> 00:18:23,433
He's looking at
salesmen looking at her
335
00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:25,183
in the short shorts
and tube tops.
336
00:18:25,216 --> 00:18:26,250
They're at each other's
throat.
337
00:18:26,283 --> 00:18:27,483
The trip's off.
My work is done.
338
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,283
[EXCLAIMING]
339
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:32,316
Oh, good,
you're still here.
Wait till you see this.
340
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:41,133
Isn't that adorable?
341
00:18:41,166 --> 00:18:44,500
I'm dead.
342
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:47,500
Wow, Dad,
thank you so much
for all this cool stuff.
343
00:18:47,830 --> 00:18:48,166
I love you.
344
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,366
Oh, love you too,
sweetheart.
345
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,416
Oh, Miss Fine,
I can't thank you enough.
346
00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:56,300
You know, I don't think
Margaret and I have ever
been this close.
347
00:18:56,333 --> 00:19:00,416
I just hope she has
as thrilling a time
on her kibbutz as you did.
348
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,200
Yeah.
Well, be careful
what you hope for.
349
00:19:06,316 --> 00:19:08,660
You know, Margaret and I
are like...
350
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,300
well, we're like friends.
351
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:10,433
When we were
shopping just now,
352
00:19:10,466 --> 00:19:13,000
we ran into a couple
of her schoolmates,
353
00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:16,283
and for the first time,
she didn't make me hide.
354
00:19:16,316 --> 00:19:18,830
Oh.
355
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,300
Sweet. Touching.
Love it.
356
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,400
Now, haul yourself upstairs
and tell her she can't go.
357
00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:25,160
-What? Why?
-Why?
358
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:30,000
Uh, they closed Israel
for Hanukkah. Yup.
359
00:19:30,330 --> 00:19:34,383
Too many people,
too many candles.
Big fire hazard. Big.
360
00:19:34,416 --> 00:19:36,416
Miss Fine.
361
00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:39,330
All right.
You wanna know
what it really is?
362
00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:42,333
I kind of remembered
that the kibbutz
was where I lost my...
363
00:19:42,366 --> 00:19:46,300
Oh, hi, kids!
What's new?
364
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:47,483
Well, we were just
in the basement...
365
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,660
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Wait! Wait!
366
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:52,283
Everybody quiet,
except Miss Fine.
367
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:55,333
Now, you were saying
you don't want Margaret
to go to the kibbutz
368
00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:58,133
because that's where
you lost your...
369
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:03,216
Hat.
370
00:20:04,433 --> 00:20:05,483
Hat?
371
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,400
ALL: Hat?
372
00:20:07,433 --> 00:20:11,100
All right. I take it
you were very attached
to this hat.
373
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,183
Well, not as much
as my mother was.
374
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:18,450
Look, Miss Fine,
375
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,330
what on earth
is the big deal
376
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:21,350
about losing your...
377
00:20:26,366 --> 00:20:31,233
Oh, God! Oh, my God!
Everybody out!
378
00:20:31,266 --> 00:20:34,266
No! No! No!
Not you, Miss Fine.
379
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,316
Oh, my God!
380
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:38,416
Why-- Why do I ever listen
to you?
381
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:41,366
Well, my voice is
kind of hard to tune out.
382
00:20:43,183 --> 00:20:45,266
It's like one of those
innate compulsions
383
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:47,350
like smelling milk you know
has gone bad
384
00:20:47,383 --> 00:20:49,233
or touching something
that says "wet paint,"
385
00:20:49,266 --> 00:20:51,400
or gnawing at the inside
of your cheek
when the dentist says...
386
00:20:51,433 --> 00:20:55,216
All right. Okay.
We get the picture.
I'll go tell her.
387
00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:59,500
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
you don't.
This is where I take over.
388
00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:02,166
Now you'll see how something
is done when it's done right.
389
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,483
Margaret is not going
to the kibbutz,
and that is final.
390
00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:12,100
I have to hand it to you,
Miss Fine.
391
00:21:12,133 --> 00:21:15,200
This was a brilliant
solution
to everyone's problem.
392
00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:18,166
Meanwhile, would you
go pick some grapefruit?
393
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,150
'Cause if we don't come back
with a full wheelbarrow,
394
00:21:20,183 --> 00:21:22,416
they're gonna kick us off.
And there's no Ramada
around here.
395
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,400
All right, all right.
396
00:21:29,266 --> 00:21:31,283
Fran?
397
00:21:31,316 --> 00:21:36,233
Oh, my God!
Yelsey, hi.
398
00:21:36,266 --> 00:21:38,100
Are you still working here?
399
00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:40,150
Yes. But now I work
with my son.
400
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,350
You like kibbutz?
401
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,330
Yeah.
402
00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:50,830
You want me
to take your hat?
403
00:21:50,116 --> 00:21:53,000
Oh, no, you don't!
404
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,400
Ohh.
405
00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:09,333
Nice tan, Sheila.
406
00:22:11,216 --> 00:22:13,166
Bonjour,
407
00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:17,466
Oh, shake it,
Miss Babcock.
408
00:22:25,350 --> 00:22:29,500
Oh, daylight come
and me want go home.
409
00:22:41,116 --> 00:22:44,183
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]