1 00:00:06,483 --> 00:00:10,333 Maxwell, I cannot tell you how excited I am 2 00:00:10,366 --> 00:00:15,450 about our little weekend getaway to Boston. 3 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,233 It's a business trip, C.C. 4 00:00:19,266 --> 00:00:21,266 Of course I know that. 5 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:24,500 Work, work, work. In fact, right now I'm off to get a wax. 6 00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:25,250 I mean... 7 00:00:27,316 --> 00:00:30,500 fax. 8 00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:32,233 Don't worry, sir. You'll be right near Salem. 9 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:35,150 They know how to take care of her kind there. 10 00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:41,116 Niles, you don't think C.C. wants to go to Boston 11 00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:43,283 to, you know... 12 00:00:43,316 --> 00:00:46,150 Shout, "The British are coming?" 13 00:00:48,266 --> 00:00:51,216 Oh, no, sir. 14 00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,283 No. As a matter of fact, just before you came in, 15 00:00:53,316 --> 00:00:54,483 she was saying what a shame it is 16 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,000 the children can't go with you. 17 00:00:57,330 --> 00:00:58,383 Oh, really? Mm. 18 00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:01,216 Well, I suppose it would be educational for them. 19 00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:04,300 Oh, but the hotel only has two rooms. 20 00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:07,183 Do you think she would mind sharing with the girls? 21 00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:08,250 Mind? 22 00:01:08,283 --> 00:01:10,330 How many times have we heard her say, 23 00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:13,100 "I don't care who I sleep with"? 24 00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:18,116 I'm never gonna meet anybody. 25 00:01:18,150 --> 00:01:22,316 I'm never gonna fulfill my dream of buying double burial plots. 26 00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:29,330 That's your dream, Val? Mmm-hmm. 27 00:01:29,660 --> 00:01:32,200 That's my dream, too. [GASPS] 28 00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:35,233 No wonder we're best friends. 29 00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:39,830 Fran? Yeah? 30 00:01:39,116 --> 00:01:41,250 You think we're being too particular? 31 00:01:41,283 --> 00:01:43,266 I mean, maybe... 32 00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:46,330 maybe we should lower our standards. 33 00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:48,216 Lower our standards? 34 00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:51,500 Val, we're already down to mammal. 35 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:57,216 All I want is a nice, cute guy with a couple of bucks. 36 00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:04,350 What? 37 00:02:04,383 --> 00:02:08,200 Have you ever seen Harold and Maude? 38 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:17,383 Oh, forget it. Once you've seen a guy in his Batman pajamas, 39 00:02:17,416 --> 00:02:20,150 there's just no mystery left. 40 00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:24,100 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 41 00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:26,366 SINGER:♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 42 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,100 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 43 00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:30,000 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 44 00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:31,433 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 45 00:02:31,466 --> 00:02:34,383 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 46 00:02:34,416 --> 00:02:37,150 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffields' door ♪♪ 47 00:02:37,183 --> 00:02:39,433 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 48 00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:42,133 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 49 00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:46,000 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 50 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,250 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 51 00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:51,100 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 52 00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,300 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 53 00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:54,330 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 54 00:02:54,660 --> 00:02:55,183 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 55 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,433 ♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪ 56 00:02:56,466 --> 00:02:58,133 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 57 00:02:58,166 --> 00:03:02,250 ♪♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 58 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,166 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 59 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,660 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 60 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,433 Oh, Fran, what are we gonna do? 61 00:03:14,466 --> 00:03:16,383 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. 62 00:03:16,416 --> 00:03:20,160 We're gonna have our own singles party. 63 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,316 We'll charge 20 bucks a head. 64 00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:25,500 With all the losers we know, we'll make a fortune. 65 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:26,416 You know, I've got just the perfect place to do it, 66 00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:29,330 the back room of Benny's Clam Bar. 67 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,330 It's so dark and depressing there. 68 00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:36,183 Val, how old do I look? 69 00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:39,483 I don't know. I can't really tell. 70 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,830 Book it, Val. 71 00:03:43,316 --> 00:03:45,500 Daddy, forget it. 72 00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:47,183 Do you know how hard those concert tickets were to get? 73 00:03:47,216 --> 00:03:49,483 There's no way I'm missing Nine Inch Nails. 74 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,283 Nine-inch nails? Barbra's on tour again? 75 00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:56,200 No, Miss Fine. 76 00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,200 Margaret would prefer to go to a concert with her friends 77 00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:01,500 than spend the weekend in Boston with her own family. 78 00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:03,660 Oh, well, who wouldn't... 79 00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:06,150 want to go to Boston? 80 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,116 Dad, I'm 16 years old. 81 00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:12,160 I can stay home and take care of myself. 82 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,333 Niles will be here to make me stuff, right? 83 00:04:14,366 --> 00:04:16,333 Sweetie, the reason why your father 84 00:04:16,366 --> 00:04:18,330 doesn't want you to stay home alone 85 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,233 is because it makes him feel old. 86 00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:22,200 What? 87 00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:25,266 I mean, you know, you're turning into a responsible young woman, 88 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,383 and that makes him feel unneeded and useless. 89 00:04:27,416 --> 00:04:29,333 That, the gray patch in his hair, 90 00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:32,233 waking up stiff in the morning... Don't ask. 91 00:04:32,266 --> 00:04:34,660 I've never felt better, 92 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,000 and I'm certainly not afraid of growing old. 93 00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:39,133 Margaret, the house is yours for the weekend. 94 00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:44,316 Oh, thank you, Dad. Fran, you're a goddess. 95 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,250 For your information, Miss Fine, 96 00:04:46,283 --> 00:04:50,660 when I awaken in the mornings, nothing is stiff. 97 00:04:56,316 --> 00:04:58,450 I rest my case. 98 00:04:58,483 --> 00:05:02,483 [MUSIC PLAYING] 99 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,483 MARGARET: Oh, wow! Look how many guys RSVP'd for your party. 100 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,266 This one sounds perfect for you. Oh? 101 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:12,400 Oh, no, wait. He says he's looking for a Catholic girl. 102 00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:15,660 Great. He's Jewish. 103 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,216 [DOORBELL RINGS] 104 00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:26,116 Niles, would you keep an eye on my bags? 105 00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:28,366 All right. 106 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,333 Just tell me when to stop. 107 00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:43,100 Now. 108 00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:44,416 Sorry. 109 00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:46,116 So am I. 110 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:48,216 [GASPS] 111 00:05:49,366 --> 00:05:52,233 Can this day get any better? 112 00:05:53,316 --> 00:05:55,133 Oh, I guess it can. 113 00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:57,330 I'll be spending the entire weekend alone 114 00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:59,330 with Maxwell in Boston. 115 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,250 [IMITATING BUZZER BUZZING] I'm sorry. 116 00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:06,000 But we have some lovely consolation prizes for you. 117 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,500 I am not sitting next to Gracie on the plane. 118 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:13,183 She always vomits. 119 00:06:13,216 --> 00:06:15,433 All right. She can sit next to Miss Babcock. 120 00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:18,433 Maxwell, 121 00:06:18,466 --> 00:06:22,166 you're bringing the children on the trip? 122 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,400 Yes, C.C. It was very sweet of you to think of them. 123 00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:27,350 Niles told me it was all your idea. 124 00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:37,830 Don't thank me. 125 00:06:38,316 --> 00:06:42,500 Don't worry. I won't throw up as long as I don't eat anything. 126 00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:45,433 Well, in case you get peckish, I packed you a sandwich. 127 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,000 Egg salad. 128 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,333 It'll go lovely with your blazer. 129 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,466 Now remember, I'm trusting you to behave yourself. 130 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,830 No wild parties. 131 00:07:03,116 --> 00:07:05,160 All right, Dad. Goodbye. Bye. 132 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:06,300 I'll miss you. I love you. 133 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,150 I love you too. 134 00:07:08,183 --> 00:07:09,450 You know, this is the first... 135 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,000 Oh, this is so cool. 136 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:17,300 I get the whole house to myself. 137 00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:20,416 Do whatever I want, whenever I want. 138 00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:25,330 Oh, Fran, now I know why you stay single. 139 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,133 Yeah, that's it. 140 00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:33,100 [DOORBELL RINGS] 141 00:07:33,133 --> 00:07:34,166 Okay. All right. 142 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,483 Oh, Fran, I got horrible news. 143 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,350 Oh, my hair guy couldn't take you this morning? 144 00:07:39,383 --> 00:07:43,116 Yes, he did. Isn't he fabulous? 145 00:07:44,366 --> 00:07:46,433 Fran, you are not gonna believe this. 146 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,366 Benny's Clam Bar burnt down. 147 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,316 [GASPS] How? 148 00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:53,830 A fire! 149 00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:01,660 Oh, my God. Oh, now wait a minute. Don't panic. Don't panic. 150 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,300 All we have to do is find a place 151 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,250 that's really classy and free tonight 152 00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:07,300 that'll hold 100 guys and seven women. 153 00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,483 Oh, oh, oh. No, no, no, no. 154 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,150 Mr. Sheffield said that we cannot have parties here. 155 00:08:14,183 --> 00:08:17,350 We're never gonna meet anybody. 156 00:08:18,450 --> 00:08:23,233 We're just gonna die alone. 157 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,483 Fran, actually Dad said 158 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,233 that I couldn't have any parties tonight. 159 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,250 SINGER:♪♪ It's Raining Men ♪♪ 160 00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:34,250 ♪♪ Hallelujah ♪♪ 161 00:08:34,283 --> 00:08:36,416 ♪♪ It's Raining Men ♪♪ 162 00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,483 ♪♪ Amen ♪♪ 163 00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:41,216 Well, in my spare time 164 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:43,330 I like to do a little hunting. 165 00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:45,660 Oh, well, maybe next time you go 166 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:48,183 you could bag me a chocolate mousse. 167 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,316 Mooses aren't chocolate. 168 00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:56,316 Oh, I know. I was saying, you know, chocolate "mousse". 169 00:08:56,350 --> 00:09:00,266 It's a j-- have you met my friend Val? 170 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,166 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 171 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:08,116 Oh, I love the way you move. 172 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:10,350 And I love the way you look. 173 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,100 Those heels are so sexy. 174 00:09:13,133 --> 00:09:15,133 Oh, thank you. 175 00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:17,133 Mind if I try them on? 176 00:09:24,416 --> 00:09:27,416 Have you met my friend Val? 177 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,433 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 178 00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:33,100 [FRENCH ACCENT] You know, you might not believe this, 179 00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:37,133 but this hair, it's all from a can. 180 00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:52,160 Really? 181 00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:56,116 Gee, it looks so natural. 182 00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:18,383 Have you met my friend Val? 183 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,250 Val. 184 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:26,500 Mm, I love your hair. 185 00:10:29,116 --> 00:10:32,266 And you hate to hunt. Mm. 186 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,183 What do you think of my shoes? 187 00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:35,366 Well, they look great on you. 188 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,150 Dip me. 189 00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:40,466 Don't wait up. 190 00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:45,116 You know, Fran, you're pretty sharp to throw a party like this. 191 00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:48,133 Meet great people, you make a few bucks. 192 00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:51,830 Hey, a few bucks, please. 193 00:10:51,116 --> 00:10:55,283 I may quit my career as a... supermodel. 194 00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:01,316 Well, I think it's amazing that you show a profit, 195 00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:04,433 especially after all those business licenses you have to buy. 196 00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:08,466 What business? It's a party. 197 00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:11,483 Ah, Fran... 198 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,200 Oh, Jeff. 199 00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:19,100 I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm a police officer. 200 00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,100 And you're under arrest. 201 00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:24,316 That was a pistol? 202 00:11:33,316 --> 00:11:35,000 Uh-oh. 203 00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:39,350 Somebody's gonna have a hell of a mess to clean up. 204 00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:43,133 Damn, it's me. 205 00:11:45,183 --> 00:11:47,416 Well, thanks for taking me home 206 00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:51,483 and for letting me play with your siren. 207 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,483 My pleasure. Oh, can I have my handcuffs? 208 00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:01,830 Thank you. 209 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,150 Handcuffs, Miss Fine? 210 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:08,400 He was a cop. I got arrested last night. 211 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,183 Really? 212 00:12:10,216 --> 00:12:12,200 I was a pirate. 213 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,150 I had to walk the plank. 214 00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:19,233 I'm serious. It was horrible. 215 00:12:19,266 --> 00:12:22,830 I spent the night in jail. 216 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:25,100 Of course, I did meet a lovely girl named Sparkle Plenty. 217 00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:28,433 She charges 20 bucks to come to her party, too. 218 00:12:28,466 --> 00:12:30,160 Well, why didn't you call? 219 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,350 Well, I did. 220 00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:34,266 I guess somebody was too busy shivering his timber. 221 00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,383 Oh, my God. 222 00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,300 I spend the night over at Whitney's house, 223 00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:43,660 and you guys completely trash the place? 224 00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,283 I missed everything. 225 00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:48,000 Oh, help me to clean up before my father gets home. 226 00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:49,316 I mean, your father. 227 00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:52,133 Oh, thank God he's not coming back until tomorrow. 228 00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:55,660 Could you imagine the look on his face if he got a load of this... 229 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,160 [SCREAMING] Oh, oh, oh. We've been robbed. 230 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,316 Can you imagine what kind of animal would do something... 231 00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:03,330 Save it, Miss Fine. 232 00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:05,300 Grace got sick, so we took an earlier flight. 233 00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:09,160 Niles, could you do something with Miss Babcock's blazer? 234 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,466 Certainly, sir. 235 00:13:16,183 --> 00:13:18,283 I specifically said no parties. 236 00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:20,660 Mr. Sheffield, let me explain. 237 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,166 I am very disappointed in you, Margaret. 238 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,483 [BOTH] Margaret? 239 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,160 Oh, no, Mr. Sheffield. This was my party. 240 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,100 Oh, nice try, Miss Fine. 241 00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:30,416 But even the woman who put a bumper sticker 242 00:13:30,450 --> 00:13:33,266 on my limo reading "Honk if you're a hunk" 243 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:36,116 wouldn't be stupid enough to throw a party in my absence. 244 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:39,000 Hey, hey, don't make a rush to judgment here. 245 00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:41,350 You're dealing with one dumb gal. 246 00:13:43,216 --> 00:13:45,300 Your devotion to the children is touching, Miss Fine, 247 00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:47,150 but don't be ridiculous. 248 00:13:47,183 --> 00:13:49,250 If I thought for one moment you were responsible for all this, 249 00:13:49,283 --> 00:13:51,133 I'd have to fire you. 250 00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:54,330 Fire me? 251 00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:57,660 Fran, stop trying to cover for me. 252 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,500 Dad, I had the party when Fran went out last night. 253 00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:01,450 She had nothing to do with this. 254 00:14:01,483 --> 00:14:03,366 Maggie. Fran. 255 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,483 I did it. 256 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,233 No, I did this. 257 00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:07,433 Oh, and I suppose you're the one 258 00:14:07,466 --> 00:14:09,316 that spilled the bottle of cream rinse 259 00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,316 on the Persian rug? 260 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,316 No. 261 00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:14,366 Oh, it must have been Niles. 262 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,000 Well, I certainly hope it was worth it, young lady. 263 00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:20,116 You're grounded indefinitely. 264 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,350 Dad, the Nine Inch Nails concert is tonight. 265 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,233 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, wait. 266 00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:27,133 End of discussion, Miss Fine. 267 00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:30,366 Maggie, are you out of your mind? 268 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,133 Fran, I didn't want you to get fired. 269 00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:35,333 I care more about you than I do any concert. 270 00:14:35,366 --> 00:14:38,216 Oh, I love you. 271 00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:41,500 And I kind of forgot it was tonight. 272 00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:42,266 Ohhhh. 273 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,483 Oh, Niles, can you believe what a mensch 274 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,433 that kid turned out to be? 275 00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:51,116 Hmm? 276 00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,333 Oh, I'm not gonna let her 277 00:14:52,366 --> 00:14:55,116 miss that concert to save my butt. 278 00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:56,316 I don't care if he does fire me. 279 00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,160 [CAR HORN HONKING] 280 00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,266 Oh, meanwhile, that bumper sticker 281 00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:02,830 wasn't the stupidest thing I ever did. 282 00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:09,250 Miss Fine, what on earth possessed you? 283 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,466 I specifically said no parties. 284 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,300 Well, technically, you told Maggie no parties. 285 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,433 Don't you start with the semantics. 286 00:15:18,466 --> 00:15:22,333 Oh, so now you're gonna fire me because you're anti-semantic? 287 00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:24,466 Miss Fine. Oh, all right. 288 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,166 But before you do anything rash, 289 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,150 just remember I'm a fabulous nanny 290 00:15:28,183 --> 00:15:30,300 and a wonderful influence on the children. 291 00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,133 Oh, I gotta go. 292 00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:34,316 If a hooker named Sparkles calls, tell her that I'm in court. 293 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,483 Do you think this is cute enough for an arraignment? No? 294 00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:42,483 Niles, I'm beginning to think that hiring 295 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,116 a door-to-door cosmetics salesgirl 296 00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:48,000 as a nanny was not my finest hour. 297 00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:51,283 Although your skin has never looked more supple. 298 00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:56,150 Niles, this is the woman who's raising my children. 299 00:15:56,183 --> 00:15:58,116 Yes, and look what she's done to them. 300 00:15:58,150 --> 00:16:02,500 Miss Grace's therapist is no longer on the speed dial. 301 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,350 Master Brighton has given up those insipid little blazers 302 00:16:04,383 --> 00:16:08,660 with the nautical emblems and the gold b... 303 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:14,416 Which look so good on you, sir. 304 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:18,166 Niles, Margaret is at a very impressionable age right now, 305 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,830 and Miss Fine's behavior is hardly character-building. 306 00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:22,366 That was certainly proven today. 307 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,200 What 16-year-old in her right mind 308 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:28,116 would give up the concert of her life to save a friend? 309 00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:33,330 Niles, if I show Miss Fine leniency now, 310 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,233 I'll have someone working for me 311 00:16:34,266 --> 00:16:36,466 who has absolutely no respect for my authority 312 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,333 and never listens to a word I say. 313 00:16:46,366 --> 00:16:48,830 Right? 314 00:16:48,116 --> 00:16:51,283 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I checked out after I made my point. 315 00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:01,160 The State v. Fran Fine. 316 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,133 Yes? 317 00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,166 Miss Fine? Yes? 318 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,116 Do you have your attorney present? 319 00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:10,200 Oh, my attorney present. 320 00:17:10,233 --> 00:17:13,660 Oh, oh, you know what? 321 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,150 I'm not gonna get him anything. 322 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:20,100 Let's see how he does first. 323 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,300 Is this a competency hearing? 324 00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,266 Meanwhile, what's the use in having a lawyer for an uncle 325 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,283 if he's a no-show? 326 00:17:35,316 --> 00:17:36,466 Well, is he any good? 327 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000 Well, he worked for some pretty good law firms. 328 00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:42,350 I mean, Freeburg, Freeman, and free for the family. 329 00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:44,400 He's strictly pro bono. Really? 330 00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,300 Well, I'm glad he's not representing me 331 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,450 because I'm pro-Cher. 332 00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,433 Hold it. Hold it. 333 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,100 MAN: Will you hold it? 334 00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:01,316 I--I object. I object. 335 00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:03,100 You object to what? 336 00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:06,166 To those electric doors in the men's room. 337 00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:09,316 That's the elevator. 338 00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:16,660 Use the stairs. 339 00:18:17,466 --> 00:18:20,333 Can we get on with this, please? 340 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:24,350 Yes, Your Honor. My client has been unjustly accused, 341 00:18:24,383 --> 00:18:27,233 and I say that-- 342 00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:28,283 which one is my client? 343 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,300 Oh, it's me. It's me, Uncle Manny. 344 00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:32,250 Fran, Yetta's granddaughter. 345 00:18:32,283 --> 00:18:35,400 Oh, Yetta's granddaughter. 346 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,350 Who's Yetta? 347 00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:41,350 I'm your great-niece. I spoke to you last night. 348 00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:44,330 I'm Sylvia Fine's daughter. 349 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,366 Oh, yeah. 350 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,660 The one that's not married. 351 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,830 That you remember? 352 00:18:50,116 --> 00:18:53,250 So, Your Honor, what--what are the charges? 353 00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:56,300 Conducting business in a residential neighborhood 354 00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:59,133 without a franchise tax license, 355 00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:01,300 a city business license 356 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:04,150 or a liquor license. 357 00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:05,466 Wow. 358 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:08,450 You're gonna need a lawyer. 359 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,283 You're a lawyer. 360 00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:14,283 Then you're in luck. 361 00:19:14,316 --> 00:19:18,466 Sweetheart, isn't that skirt a little snug? 362 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,483 Well, maybe just a little. 363 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,283 You hear that, Your Honor? 364 00:19:23,316 --> 00:19:25,200 The skirt is snug. 365 00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:30,216 So if it doesn't fit, you must acquit. 366 00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:45,400 That's my defense? Oh, I'm going to jail. 367 00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:48,416 Do I get conjugal visits? 368 00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,660 Sure. 369 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,366 All right, put me down for six years. 370 00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:56,216 Oy, what am I saying? 371 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,466 Uncle Manny, do something. 372 00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:06,216 I'm sorry, Your Honor, I think the defense is resting. 373 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,400 Miss Fine, would you just like to plead? 374 00:20:11,433 --> 00:20:13,183 Yes, I would. 375 00:20:13,216 --> 00:20:17,150 Oh, please, please, don't send me to jail. 376 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:20,450 MAXWELL: Your--Your Honor, permission to approach the bench? 377 00:20:20,483 --> 00:20:23,160 Come on down. 378 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,400 Mr. Sheffield, what are you doing here? 379 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,366 Your Honor, this--this woman works for me. 380 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,166 The--the party was held in my home. 381 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,383 And, well, I have never known her to knowingly break the law, 382 00:20:34,416 --> 00:20:36,466 well, except for the free pay-per-view, 383 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,830 but then everyone schmears the cable man. 384 00:20:41,233 --> 00:20:43,133 Right? 385 00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:47,000 Why don't you just go sit down with the rest of the dream team? 386 00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:55,416 Mr. Sheffield, the party was in your house? 387 00:20:56,466 --> 00:21:00,266 Then you are responsible for the party. 388 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:04,500 I am fining you $500. 389 00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,316 And you are free to go. 390 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,200 And thank God, so am I. 391 00:21:11,233 --> 00:21:12,400 Thank you, thank you. 392 00:21:12,433 --> 00:21:15,166 I can tell you one thing, I'm not paying that fine. 393 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,183 Oh, you're gonna fight the system. What a turn-on. 394 00:21:18,216 --> 00:21:20,830 Nope. You're paying it. 395 00:21:20,116 --> 00:21:22,660 What a turnoff. 396 00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:24,500 It's coming out of your salary. 397 00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:25,233 Oh, my salary. 398 00:21:25,266 --> 00:21:28,330 So does that mean you're not gonna fire me? 399 00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:32,830 No. But since you acted like a bloody teenager, you're grounded. 400 00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:33,433 Grounded? 401 00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:35,450 You know, I'm a grown woman. 402 00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:38,200 Why don't you just put me over your knee and spank me? 403 00:21:38,233 --> 00:21:41,366 Oh, what do you know, we made it back to turn-on. 404 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,433 [MUSIC PLAYING] 405 00:21:44,466 --> 00:21:48,350 FRAN:Don't move, I'm coming back with a surprise. 406 00:21:51,266 --> 00:21:54,166 Sweetheart, you look fabulous in that dress. 407 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,200 Oh, thank you. 408 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,160 Can I try it on?