1
00:00:06,483 --> 00:00:10,333
Maxwell, I cannot tell you
how excited I am
2
00:00:10,366 --> 00:00:15,450
about our little weekend
getaway to Boston.
3
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,233
It's a business trip, C.C.
4
00:00:19,266 --> 00:00:21,266
Of course I know that.
5
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:24,500
Work, work, work. In fact,
right
now I'm off to get a wax.
6
00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:25,250
I mean...
7
00:00:27,316 --> 00:00:30,500
fax.
8
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:32,233
Don't worry, sir. You'll be
right near Salem.
9
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:35,150
They know how to take care
of her kind there.
10
00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:41,116
Niles, you don't think C.C.
wants to go to Boston
11
00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:43,283
to, you know...
12
00:00:43,316 --> 00:00:46,150
Shout, "The British
are coming?"
13
00:00:48,266 --> 00:00:51,216
Oh, no, sir.
14
00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,283
No. As a matter of fact,
just before you came in,
15
00:00:53,316 --> 00:00:54,483
she was saying what a shame
it is
16
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,000
the children can't go
with you.
17
00:00:57,330 --> 00:00:58,383
Oh, really?
Mm.
18
00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:01,216
Well, I suppose it would be
educational for them.
19
00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:04,300
Oh, but the hotel only has
two rooms.
20
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:07,183
Do you think she would mind
sharing with the girls?
21
00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:08,250
Mind?
22
00:01:08,283 --> 00:01:10,330
How many times have we
heard her say,
23
00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:13,100
"I don't care who
I sleep with"?
24
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:18,116
I'm never gonna meet
anybody.
25
00:01:18,150 --> 00:01:22,316
I'm never gonna fulfill my
dream
of buying double burial plots.
26
00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:29,330
That's your dream, Val?
Mmm-hmm.
27
00:01:29,660 --> 00:01:32,200
That's my dream, too.
[GASPS]
28
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:35,233
No wonder we're
best friends.
29
00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:39,830
Fran?
Yeah?
30
00:01:39,116 --> 00:01:41,250
You think we're being
too particular?
31
00:01:41,283 --> 00:01:43,266
I mean, maybe...
32
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:46,330
maybe we should lower
our standards.
33
00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:48,216
Lower our standards?
34
00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:51,500
Val, we're already
down to mammal.
35
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:57,216
All I want is a nice, cute
guy
with a couple of bucks.
36
00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:04,350
What?
37
00:02:04,383 --> 00:02:08,200
Have you ever seen
Harold and Maude?
38
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:17,383
Oh, forget it. Once you've
seen
a guy in his Batman pajamas,
39
00:02:17,416 --> 00:02:20,150
there's just no mystery left.
40
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:24,100
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
41
00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:26,366
SINGER:♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪
42
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,100
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪
43
00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:30,000
♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪
44
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:31,433
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
45
00:02:31,466 --> 00:02:34,383
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
46
00:02:34,416 --> 00:02:37,150
♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffields' door ♪♪
47
00:02:37,183 --> 00:02:39,433
♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪
48
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:42,133
♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪
49
00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:46,000
♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪
50
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,250
♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl
we've described ♪♪
51
00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:51,100
♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
52
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,300
♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪
53
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:54,330
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
54
00:02:54,660 --> 00:02:55,183
♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪
55
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,433
♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪
56
00:02:56,466 --> 00:02:58,133
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
57
00:02:58,166 --> 00:03:02,250
♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪
58
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,166
♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪
59
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,660
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
60
00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,433
Oh, Fran, what are we
gonna do?
61
00:03:14,466 --> 00:03:16,383
I'll tell you what
we're gonna do.
62
00:03:16,416 --> 00:03:20,160
We're gonna have our own
singles party.
63
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,316
We'll charge 20 bucks
a head.
64
00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:25,500
With all the losers we know,
we'll make a fortune.
65
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:26,416
You know, I've got just the
perfect place to do it,
66
00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:29,330
the back room of Benny's
Clam Bar.
67
00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,330
It's so dark and depressing
there.
68
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:36,183
Val, how old do I look?
69
00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:39,483
I don't know. I can't
really tell.
70
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,830
Book it, Val.
71
00:03:43,316 --> 00:03:45,500
Daddy, forget it.
72
00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:47,183
Do you know how hard those
concert tickets were to get?
73
00:03:47,216 --> 00:03:49,483
There's no way I'm missing
Nine Inch Nails.
74
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,283
Nine-inch nails? Barbra's
on tour again?
75
00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:56,200
No, Miss Fine.
76
00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,200
Margaret would prefer to go
to a concert with her friends
77
00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:01,500
than spend the weekend in Boston
with her own family.
78
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:03,660
Oh, well, who wouldn't...
79
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:06,150
want to go to Boston?
80
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,116
Dad, I'm 16 years old.
81
00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:12,160
I can stay home and
take care of myself.
82
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,333
Niles will be here to make me
stuff, right?
83
00:04:14,366 --> 00:04:16,333
Sweetie, the reason
why your father
84
00:04:16,366 --> 00:04:18,330
doesn't want you
to stay home alone
85
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,233
is because it makes him
feel old.
86
00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:22,200
What?
87
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:25,266
I mean, you know, you're turning
into a responsible young woman,
88
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,383
and that makes him feel
unneeded and useless.
89
00:04:27,416 --> 00:04:29,333
That, the gray patch
in his hair,
90
00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:32,233
waking up stiff in
the morning... Don't ask.
91
00:04:32,266 --> 00:04:34,660
I've never felt better,
92
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,000
and I'm certainly not afraid
of growing old.
93
00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:39,133
Margaret, the house is yours
for the weekend.
94
00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:44,316
Oh, thank you, Dad. Fran,
you're a goddess.
95
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,250
For your information,
Miss Fine,
96
00:04:46,283 --> 00:04:50,660
when I awaken in the mornings,
nothing is stiff.
97
00:04:56,316 --> 00:04:58,450
I rest my case.
98
00:04:58,483 --> 00:05:02,483
[MUSIC PLAYING]
99
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,483
MARGARET: Oh, wow! Look how
many
guys RSVP'd for your party.
100
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,266
This one sounds perfect for you.
Oh?
101
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:12,400
Oh, no, wait. He says he's
looking for a Catholic girl.
102
00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:15,660
Great. He's Jewish.
103
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,216
[DOORBELL RINGS]
104
00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:26,116
Niles, would you keep an eye
on my bags?
105
00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:28,366
All right.
106
00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,333
Just tell me
when to stop.
107
00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:43,100
Now.
108
00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:44,416
Sorry.
109
00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:46,116
So am I.
110
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:48,216
[GASPS]
111
00:05:49,366 --> 00:05:52,233
Can this day get
any better?
112
00:05:53,316 --> 00:05:55,133
Oh, I guess it can.
113
00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:57,330
I'll be spending the entire
weekend alone
114
00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:59,330
with Maxwell in Boston.
115
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,250
[IMITATING BUZZER BUZZING]
I'm sorry.
116
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:06,000
But we have some lovely
consolation prizes for you.
117
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,500
I am not sitting next
to Gracie on the plane.
118
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:13,183
She always vomits.
119
00:06:13,216 --> 00:06:15,433
All right. She can sit
next to Miss Babcock.
120
00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:18,433
Maxwell,
121
00:06:18,466 --> 00:06:22,166
you're bringing the children
on the trip?
122
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,400
Yes, C.C. It was very sweet
of you to think of them.
123
00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:27,350
Niles told me it was
all your idea.
124
00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:37,830
Don't thank me.
125
00:06:38,316 --> 00:06:42,500
Don't worry. I won't throw up
as
long as I don't eat anything.
126
00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:45,433
Well, in case you get
peckish,
I packed you a sandwich.
127
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,000
Egg salad.
128
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,333
It'll go lovely
with your blazer.
129
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,466
Now remember, I'm trusting you
to behave yourself.
130
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,830
No wild parties.
131
00:07:03,116 --> 00:07:05,160
All right, Dad. Goodbye.
Bye.
132
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:06,300
I'll miss you. I love you.
133
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,150
I love you too.
134
00:07:08,183 --> 00:07:09,450
You know, this is
the first...
135
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,000
Oh, this is so cool.
136
00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:17,300
I get the whole house
to myself.
137
00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:20,416
Do whatever I want,
whenever I want.
138
00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:25,330
Oh, Fran, now I know
why you stay single.
139
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,133
Yeah, that's it.
140
00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:33,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]
141
00:07:33,133 --> 00:07:34,166
Okay. All right.
142
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,483
Oh, Fran, I got
horrible news.
143
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,350
Oh, my hair guy couldn't
take you this morning?
144
00:07:39,383 --> 00:07:43,116
Yes, he did.
Isn't he fabulous?
145
00:07:44,366 --> 00:07:46,433
Fran, you are not gonna
believe this.
146
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,366
Benny's Clam Bar burnt down.
147
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,316
[GASPS] How?
148
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:53,830
A fire!
149
00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:01,660
Oh, my God.
Oh, now wait a minute.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
150
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,300
All we have to do
is find a place
151
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,250
that's really classy
and free tonight
152
00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:07,300
that'll hold 100 guys
and seven women.
153
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,483
Oh, oh, oh.
No, no, no, no.
154
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,150
Mr. Sheffield said that we
cannot have parties here.
155
00:08:14,183 --> 00:08:17,350
We're never gonna meet
anybody.
156
00:08:18,450 --> 00:08:23,233
We're just gonna die alone.
157
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,483
Fran, actually Dad said
158
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,233
that I couldn't have any
parties tonight.
159
00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,250
SINGER:♪♪ It's Raining Men ♪♪
160
00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:34,250
♪♪ Hallelujah ♪♪
161
00:08:34,283 --> 00:08:36,416
♪♪ It's Raining Men ♪♪
162
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,483
♪♪ Amen ♪♪
163
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:41,216
Well, in my spare time
164
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:43,330
I like to do a little hunting.
165
00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:45,660
Oh, well, maybe next time
you go
166
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:48,183
you could bag me
a chocolate mousse.
167
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,316
Mooses aren't chocolate.
168
00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:56,316
Oh, I know. I was saying, you
know, chocolate "mousse".
169
00:08:56,350 --> 00:09:00,266
It's a j--
have you met my friend Val?
170
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,166
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
171
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:08,116
Oh, I love the way you move.
172
00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:10,350
And I love the way you look.
173
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,100
Those heels are so sexy.
174
00:09:13,133 --> 00:09:15,133
Oh, thank you.
175
00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:17,133
Mind if I try them on?
176
00:09:24,416 --> 00:09:27,416
Have you met my friend Val?
177
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,433
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
178
00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:33,100
[FRENCH ACCENT] You know,
you might not believe this,
179
00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:37,133
but this hair, it's all
from a can.
180
00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:52,160
Really?
181
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:56,116
Gee, it looks so natural.
182
00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:18,383
Have you met my friend Val?
183
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,250
Val.
184
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:26,500
Mm, I love your hair.
185
00:10:29,116 --> 00:10:32,266
And you hate to hunt.
Mm.
186
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,183
What do you think
of my shoes?
187
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:35,366
Well, they look great
on you.
188
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,150
Dip me.
189
00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:40,466
Don't wait up.
190
00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:45,116
You know, Fran,
you're pretty sharp
to throw a party like this.
191
00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:48,133
Meet great people, you make
a few bucks.
192
00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:51,830
Hey, a few bucks, please.
193
00:10:51,116 --> 00:10:55,283
I may quit my career
as a... supermodel.
194
00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:01,316
Well, I think it's amazing
that you show a profit,
195
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:04,433
especially after all
those business licenses
you have to buy.
196
00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:08,466
What business? It's a party.
197
00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:11,483
Ah, Fran...
198
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,200
Oh, Jeff.
199
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:19,100
I don't know how to tell you
this, but I'm a police
officer.
200
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,100
And you're under arrest.
201
00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:24,316
That was a pistol?
202
00:11:33,316 --> 00:11:35,000
Uh-oh.
203
00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:39,350
Somebody's gonna have a hell of
a mess to clean up.
204
00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:43,133
Damn, it's me.
205
00:11:45,183 --> 00:11:47,416
Well, thanks for taking
me home
206
00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:51,483
and for letting me play
with your siren.
207
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,483
My pleasure. Oh, can I
have my handcuffs?
208
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:01,830
Thank you.
209
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,150
Handcuffs, Miss Fine?
210
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:08,400
He was a cop. I got
arrested last night.
211
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,183
Really?
212
00:12:10,216 --> 00:12:12,200
I was a pirate.
213
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,150
I had to walk the plank.
214
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:19,233
I'm serious. It was horrible.
215
00:12:19,266 --> 00:12:22,830
I spent the night in jail.
216
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:25,100
Of course, I did meet a lovely
girl named Sparkle Plenty.
217
00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:28,433
She charges 20 bucks to come
to her party, too.
218
00:12:28,466 --> 00:12:30,160
Well, why didn't you call?
219
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,350
Well, I did.
220
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:34,266
I guess somebody was too busy
shivering his timber.
221
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,383
Oh, my God.
222
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,300
I spend the night over at
Whitney's house,
223
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:43,660
and you guys completely
trash the place?
224
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,283
I missed everything.
225
00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:48,000
Oh, help me to clean up before
my father gets home.
226
00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:49,316
I mean, your father.
227
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:52,133
Oh, thank God he's not coming
back until tomorrow.
228
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:55,660
Could you imagine
the look on his face
if he got a load of this...
229
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,160
[SCREAMING] Oh, oh, oh.
We've been robbed.
230
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,316
Can you imagine what kind of
animal would do something...
231
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:03,330
Save it, Miss Fine.
232
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:05,300
Grace got sick, so we took
an earlier flight.
233
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:09,160
Niles, could you do something
with Miss Babcock's blazer?
234
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,466
Certainly, sir.
235
00:13:16,183 --> 00:13:18,283
I specifically said
no parties.
236
00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:20,660
Mr. Sheffield,
let me explain.
237
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,166
I am very disappointed
in you, Margaret.
238
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,483
[BOTH] Margaret?
239
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,160
Oh, no, Mr. Sheffield.
This was my party.
240
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,100
Oh, nice try, Miss Fine.
241
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:30,416
But even the woman
who put a bumper sticker
242
00:13:30,450 --> 00:13:33,266
on my limo reading
"Honk if you're a hunk"
243
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:36,116
wouldn't be stupid enough to
throw a party in my absence.
244
00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:39,000
Hey, hey, don't make a rush
to judgment here.
245
00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:41,350
You're dealing with
one dumb gal.
246
00:13:43,216 --> 00:13:45,300
Your devotion to the children
is touching, Miss Fine,
247
00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:47,150
but don't be ridiculous.
248
00:13:47,183 --> 00:13:49,250
If I thought for one moment you
were responsible for all this,
249
00:13:49,283 --> 00:13:51,133
I'd have to fire you.
250
00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:54,330
Fire me?
251
00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:57,660
Fran, stop trying to cover
for me.
252
00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,500
Dad, I had the party when Fran
went out last night.
253
00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:01,450
She had nothing
to do with this.
254
00:14:01,483 --> 00:14:03,366
Maggie.
Fran.
255
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,483
I did it.
256
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,233
No, I did this.
257
00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:07,433
Oh, and I suppose
you're the one
258
00:14:07,466 --> 00:14:09,316
that spilled the bottle
of cream rinse
259
00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,316
on the Persian rug?
260
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,316
No.
261
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:14,366
Oh, it must have been
Niles.
262
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,000
Well, I certainly hope it
was
worth it, young lady.
263
00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:20,116
You're grounded
indefinitely.
264
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,350
Dad, the Nine Inch Nails
concert is tonight.
265
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,233
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, wait.
266
00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:27,133
End of discussion,
Miss Fine.
267
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:30,366
Maggie, are you
out of your mind?
268
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,133
Fran, I didn't want you
to get fired.
269
00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:35,333
I care more about you
than I do any concert.
270
00:14:35,366 --> 00:14:38,216
Oh, I love you.
271
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:41,500
And I kind of forgot
it was tonight.
272
00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:42,266
Ohhhh.
273
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,483
Oh, Niles, can you believe
what a mensch
274
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,433
that kid turned out to be?
275
00:14:49,483 --> 00:14:51,116
Hmm?
276
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,333
Oh, I'm not gonna let her
277
00:14:52,366 --> 00:14:55,116
miss that concert
to save my butt.
278
00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:56,316
I don't care
if he does fire me.
279
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,160
[CAR HORN HONKING]
280
00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,266
Oh, meanwhile,
that bumper sticker
281
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:02,830
wasn't the stupidest thing
I ever did.
282
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:09,250
Miss Fine, what on earth
possessed you?
283
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,466
I specifically said
no parties.
284
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,300
Well, technically, you told
Maggie no parties.
285
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,433
Don't you start with
the semantics.
286
00:15:18,466 --> 00:15:22,333
Oh, so now you're gonna fire me
because you're anti-semantic?
287
00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:24,466
Miss Fine.
Oh, all right.
288
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,166
But before you do
anything rash,
289
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,150
just remember
I'm a fabulous nanny
290
00:15:28,183 --> 00:15:30,300
and a wonderful influence
on the children.
291
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,133
Oh, I gotta go.
292
00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:34,316
If a hooker named Sparkles
calls, tell her that I'm in
court.
293
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,483
Do you think this is cute
enough
for an arraignment? No?
294
00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:42,483
Niles, I'm beginning
to think that hiring
295
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,116
a door-to-door cosmetics
salesgirl
296
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:48,000
as a nanny was not
my finest hour.
297
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:51,283
Although your skin has never
looked more supple.
298
00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:56,150
Niles, this is the woman
who's raising my children.
299
00:15:56,183 --> 00:15:58,116
Yes, and look what
she's done to them.
300
00:15:58,150 --> 00:16:02,500
Miss Grace's therapist is no
longer on the speed dial.
301
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,350
Master Brighton has given up
those insipid little blazers
302
00:16:04,383 --> 00:16:08,660
with the nautical emblems
and the gold b...
303
00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:14,416
Which look so good
on you, sir.
304
00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:18,166
Niles, Margaret is at a very
impressionable age right now,
305
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,830
and Miss Fine's behavior is
hardly character-building.
306
00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:22,366
That was certainly
proven today.
307
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,200
What 16-year-old
in her right mind
308
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:28,116
would give up the concert
of her life to save a
friend?
309
00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:33,330
Niles, if I show Miss Fine
leniency now,
310
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,233
I'll have someone
working for me
311
00:16:34,266 --> 00:16:36,466
who has absolutely no respect
for my authority
312
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,333
and never listens
to a word I say.
313
00:16:46,366 --> 00:16:48,830
Right?
314
00:16:48,116 --> 00:16:51,283
Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I checked
out after I made my point.
315
00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:01,160
The State v. Fran Fine.
316
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,133
Yes?
317
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,166
Miss Fine?
Yes?
318
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,116
Do you have your attorney
present?
319
00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:10,200
Oh, my attorney present.
320
00:17:10,233 --> 00:17:13,660
Oh, oh, you know what?
321
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,150
I'm not gonna get him
anything.
322
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:20,100
Let's see how he does first.
323
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,300
Is this a competency
hearing?
324
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,266
Meanwhile, what's the use in
having a lawyer for an uncle
325
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,283
if he's a no-show?
326
00:17:35,316 --> 00:17:36,466
Well, is he any good?
327
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000
Well, he worked for some
pretty good law firms.
328
00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:42,350
I mean, Freeburg, Freeman,
and free for the family.
329
00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:44,400
He's strictly pro bono.
Really?
330
00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,300
Well, I'm glad he's not
representing me
331
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,450
because I'm pro-Cher.
332
00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,433
Hold it. Hold it.
333
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,100
MAN: Will you hold it?
334
00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:01,316
I--I object. I object.
335
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:03,100
You object to what?
336
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:06,166
To those electric doors
in the men's room.
337
00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:09,316
That's the elevator.
338
00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:16,660
Use the stairs.
339
00:18:17,466 --> 00:18:20,333
Can we get on with this,
please?
340
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:24,350
Yes, Your Honor. My client has
been unjustly accused,
341
00:18:24,383 --> 00:18:27,233
and I say that--
342
00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:28,283
which one is my client?
343
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,300
Oh, it's me. It's me,
Uncle Manny.
344
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:32,250
Fran, Yetta's granddaughter.
345
00:18:32,283 --> 00:18:35,400
Oh, Yetta's granddaughter.
346
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,350
Who's Yetta?
347
00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:41,350
I'm your great-niece.
I spoke to you last night.
348
00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:44,330
I'm Sylvia Fine's daughter.
349
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,366
Oh, yeah.
350
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,660
The one that's not married.
351
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,830
That you remember?
352
00:18:50,116 --> 00:18:53,250
So, Your Honor, what--what
are the charges?
353
00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:56,300
Conducting business in a
residential neighborhood
354
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:59,133
without a franchise tax license,
355
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:01,300
a city business license
356
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:04,150
or a liquor license.
357
00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:05,466
Wow.
358
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:08,450
You're gonna need a lawyer.
359
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,283
You're a lawyer.
360
00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:14,283
Then you're in luck.
361
00:19:14,316 --> 00:19:18,466
Sweetheart, isn't that skirt
a little snug?
362
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,483
Well, maybe just a little.
363
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,283
You hear that, Your Honor?
364
00:19:23,316 --> 00:19:25,200
The skirt is snug.
365
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:30,216
So if it doesn't fit,
you must acquit.
366
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:45,400
That's my defense?
Oh, I'm going to jail.
367
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:48,416
Do I get conjugal visits?
368
00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,660
Sure.
369
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,366
All right, put me down
for six years.
370
00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:56,216
Oy, what am I saying?
371
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,466
Uncle Manny, do something.
372
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:06,216
I'm sorry, Your Honor, I
think
the defense is resting.
373
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,400
Miss Fine, would you just
like to plead?
374
00:20:11,433 --> 00:20:13,183
Yes, I would.
375
00:20:13,216 --> 00:20:17,150
Oh, please, please,
don't send me to jail.
376
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:20,450
MAXWELL: Your--Your Honor,
permission to approach
the bench?
377
00:20:20,483 --> 00:20:23,160
Come on down.
378
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,400
Mr. Sheffield, what are you
doing here?
379
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,366
Your Honor, this--this woman
works for me.
380
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,166
The--the party was held
in my home.
381
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,383
And, well, I have never known
her to knowingly break the
law,
382
00:20:34,416 --> 00:20:36,466
well, except for the free
pay-per-view,
383
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,830
but then everyone schmears
the cable man.
384
00:20:41,233 --> 00:20:43,133
Right?
385
00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:47,000
Why don't you just go
sit down with the rest
of the dream team?
386
00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:55,416
Mr. Sheffield, the party
was
in your house?
387
00:20:56,466 --> 00:21:00,266
Then you are responsible
for the party.
388
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:04,500
I am fining you $500.
389
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,316
And you are free to go.
390
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,200
And thank God, so am I.
391
00:21:11,233 --> 00:21:12,400
Thank you, thank you.
392
00:21:12,433 --> 00:21:15,166
I can tell you one thing,
I'm not paying that fine.
393
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,183
Oh, you're gonna fight the
system. What a turn-on.
394
00:21:18,216 --> 00:21:20,830
Nope. You're paying it.
395
00:21:20,116 --> 00:21:22,660
What a turnoff.
396
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:24,500
It's coming out
of your salary.
397
00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:25,233
Oh, my salary.
398
00:21:25,266 --> 00:21:28,330
So does that mean you're
not gonna fire me?
399
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:32,830
No. But since you acted
like a bloody teenager,
you're grounded.
400
00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:33,433
Grounded?
401
00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:35,450
You know, I'm a grown woman.
402
00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:38,200
Why don't you just put me over
your knee and spank me?
403
00:21:38,233 --> 00:21:41,366
Oh, what do you know, we made
it back to turn-on.
404
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,433
[MUSIC PLAYING]
405
00:21:44,466 --> 00:21:48,350
FRAN:Don't move,
I'm coming back
with a surprise.
406
00:21:51,266 --> 00:21:54,166
Sweetheart, you look
fabulous in that dress.
407
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,200
Oh, thank you.
408
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,160
Can I try it on?