1 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,330 [EXCLAIMS] 2 00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:12,100 Oh, would you relax? 3 00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:16,500 I'm sure Hillary's caught Al Gore doing the same thing. 4 00:00:17,383 --> 00:00:20,233 Just let me finish the fantasy. Go ahead. 5 00:00:20,266 --> 00:00:22,383 Miss Babcock, you're fired. 6 00:00:23,366 --> 00:00:25,330 Because? 7 00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:27,830 I'm in love with Miss Fine. 8 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,233 I just love playing this game. 9 00:00:30,266 --> 00:00:33,133 Where is he, anyway? At some boring business dinner? 10 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:37,000 Well, if you must know, and I know you must, he's gone to a party. 11 00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:39,300 Get out of here. That's what I told him. 12 00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:42,200 Well, you know what this means, don't you? 13 00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:44,450 Yes. That he's finally letting go of the past 14 00:00:44,483 --> 00:00:47,233 and rejoining the world of the living. 15 00:00:47,266 --> 00:00:50,000 No. That his Jacuzzi tub is free. 16 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:51,466 No, no, no. Forget it, Miss Fine. 17 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,183 There's a problem with that tub. 18 00:00:53,216 --> 00:00:55,116 Oh? What? It's taken. 19 00:00:55,150 --> 00:00:57,333 Oh. No, you don't. No, you don't! 20 00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,830 Oops. I locked the door. 21 00:01:00,116 --> 00:01:02,150 And would you look how filthy this key is. 22 00:01:02,183 --> 00:01:04,466 I better go wash it in the Jacuzzi. 23 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,660 [IN SINGSONG VOICE] Na-na-na-na-na. 24 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,316 Hey, hey, hey. 25 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:12,416 Too many doors in this house. It's likeLaugh-In. 26 00:01:12,450 --> 00:01:15,660 [RINGING] 27 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,160 Aren't you gonna get it? 28 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,450 I can let a phone ring. Can you? 29 00:01:19,483 --> 00:01:21,660 It might be that fabulous man 30 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:22,283 you were telling your mother about. 31 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,400 No. He wouldn't call. 32 00:01:23,433 --> 00:01:25,350 Why not? I made him up. 33 00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:31,466 It could be Visa increasing your limit. 34 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,150 Oh! 35 00:01:34,116 --> 00:01:35,466 Hello. Sucker. 36 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,450 Oh, it's you, Mr. Sheffield. 37 00:01:38,483 --> 00:01:40,660 Well, where are you? 38 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,100 Oh, he sounds like he's had too much to drink. 39 00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,400 All right. Stay where you are. I'm gonna come and get you. 40 00:01:44,433 --> 00:01:47,183 I'll get my coat. Don't bother. 41 00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,266 Goodbye, Miss Fine. 42 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,200 Well, hello, Miss Fine. 43 00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:59,283 Oh, someone's 100 proof. Don't light a match. 44 00:01:59,316 --> 00:02:01,500 Why so shocked? 45 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,000 Your father never came home inebriated? 46 00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:04,483 No. We're Jewish. 47 00:02:05,483 --> 00:02:08,500 He came home gaseous. 48 00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,300 Never lit a match then, either. 49 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,160 ♪♪ If you want my body ♪♪ 50 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,400 ♪♪ And you think I'm sexy ♪♪ 51 00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:18,466 ♪♪ Come on sugar tell me so ♪♪ 52 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,466 Okay, Mr. Sheffield, calm down. 53 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,350 That's not even attractive from Rod Stewart any more. 54 00:02:30,830 --> 00:02:33,660 SINGER:♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 55 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,300 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 56 00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,116 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 57 00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,100 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 58 00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:41,830 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 59 00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:43,216 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffields' door ♪♪ 60 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:46,100 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 61 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,300 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 62 00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:52,830 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 63 00:02:52,116 --> 00:02:55,500 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 64 00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:57,266 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 65 00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:58,416 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 66 00:02:58,450 --> 00:03:00,116 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 67 00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:01,166 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 68 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,216 ♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪ 69 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:08,283 ♪♪ She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 70 00:03:08,316 --> 00:03:10,316 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 71 00:03:10,350 --> 00:03:13,500 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! 72 00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:34,466 [LOUD CRACKLING] 73 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,150 [LOUD SCRAPING] 74 00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:46,400 [LOUD CLANKING] 75 00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:49,350 (NOISES CONTINUING) 76 00:03:50,383 --> 00:03:53,266 (THEME FROMJAWS) 77 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:57,500 No! 78 00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:59,366 Good morning, everyone! 79 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,266 [GROANING] 80 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,400 Dad, are you sick? 81 00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:07,830 No, no, no. I'm feeling fine, Margaret. 82 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:09,383 That's Gracie. 83 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:13,183 Oh, when did we have her? 84 00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:19,330 Never mind when we had her. When can we start making another one? 85 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:26,266 Miss Fine, leave Mr. Sheffield alone. 86 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,350 He's in a very vulnerable state. 87 00:04:28,383 --> 00:04:30,466 Niles, isn't that my watch? 88 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,133 Oh, yes, sir, and thank you. I love it. 89 00:04:38,483 --> 00:04:42,830 Well, I hope last night was worth this morning. 90 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:45,116 You know, you really shouldn't drink like that. 91 00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:48,333 Miss Fine, you're a beautiful woman. 92 00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:50,166 Do you find me attractive? 93 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:54,283 On the other hand, a little booze is good for the heart. 94 00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:58,830 Not one woman spoke to me at that party last night the whole evening. 95 00:04:58,116 --> 00:05:00,433 As a matter of fact, they all avoided me like the plague. 96 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:03,400 Well, maybe it's because of that. 97 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,383 I beg your pardon? 98 00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:10,330 Your wedding ring. 99 00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:11,116 You know, believe it or not, 100 00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:12,433 some women find it a turnoff. 101 00:05:12,466 --> 00:05:15,200 Conjures up images of a beautiful house, 102 00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:18,150 three children, a nanny with a 20-inch waist. 103 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:22,500 You know, Miss Fine, you might think this foolish, 104 00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:26,250 but wearing this ring helps me to remember my wife. 105 00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:29,466 Oh, you're never gonna forget her. 106 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,400 Just look at Maggie's smile 107 00:05:31,433 --> 00:05:36,166 or Gracie's eyes or Brighton's... 108 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,183 Did your wife take any trips? 109 00:05:39,216 --> 00:05:40,400 Let me ask you something. 110 00:05:40,433 --> 00:05:42,266 When you fill out your taxes, 111 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,266 what do you put in marital status? 112 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,283 "S" or "M"? "S." 113 00:05:46,316 --> 00:05:49,100 All right. So you told Uncle Sam you're single. 114 00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:51,216 Maybe it's time you told yourself. 115 00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:53,660 But I want to be an "M" again. 116 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,830 Yeah, well, I want to be an "M," too. 117 00:05:55,116 --> 00:05:59,350 But first you gotta get out there and make an "S" out of yourself. 118 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:06,133 Try this, sir. It's my father's hangover remedy. 119 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,300 Oh, thank you, Niles. 120 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:10,216 Oh, Niles, 121 00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:14,830 it's far too early in the morning for anything this repulsive. 122 00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:15,433 Hello, hello. 123 00:06:18,466 --> 00:06:22,150 Mr. Sheffield wants you to go home and come back in an hour. 124 00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:26,400 It isn't working. So sorry. 125 00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:28,350 Forgot the hair of the dog. 126 00:06:28,383 --> 00:06:29,466 Ow! 127 00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:33,316 Maxwell, look at this. 128 00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:37,500 Andrew Lloyd Webber's made theNew York Times crossword puzzle. 129 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:41,266 What? Why can't I be in a bloody crossword puzzle? 130 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,216 I've produced more plays than he has. 131 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:45,830 Yeah, and your plays are better than his 132 00:06:45,116 --> 00:06:46,400 'cause you can always get tickets for yours 133 00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:49,116 and his are sold out for months. 134 00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:52,450 What? 135 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:57,350 Maxwell, what have I been telling you for the past 10 years? 136 00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,233 "Send that chorus boy to my room"? 137 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,660 No. Get yourself... 138 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,183 No! 139 00:07:06,466 --> 00:07:08,433 Get yourself a publicist. 140 00:07:08,466 --> 00:07:11,160 I know just the person. Sydney Mercer. 141 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,166 He's an old coot, but he is the best PR man in the business. 142 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,830 No, C.C. Forget it. 143 00:07:16,116 --> 00:07:17,466 Self-promotion is so tacky. 144 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,300 No. Not if you do it right. 145 00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:22,483 Get the guy that's handling Hugh Grant's hooker. 146 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:26,283 She's coming across very classy. 147 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,416 Fran, what you doing? 148 00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:37,216 Oh, Weight Watchers is very strict. 149 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,416 They only allow you one cookie. 150 00:07:44,366 --> 00:07:46,266 [DOORBELL RINGING] 151 00:07:53,283 --> 00:07:55,183 Hi. I'm Sydney Mercer. 152 00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:57,350 Miss Babcock is expecting me. 153 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,330 Oh, no, she's not. 154 00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:04,150 I'm gonna go tell Miss Babcock. 155 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:08,133 Oh, no, no, no. Butler's job. Butler's job. 156 00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:11,483 Come on in. 157 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,250 Are you Mrs. Sheffield? 158 00:08:13,283 --> 00:08:15,433 Oh, no, I'm not his wife. 159 00:08:15,466 --> 00:08:19,116 I just live with him, run his life, and raise his kids. 160 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,466 I'm Fran, the nanny. Come on in. 161 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,350 Niles...Niles, what is so damn important? 162 00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:30,116 And may I present Sydney Mercer. 163 00:08:30,150 --> 00:08:32,330 [LAUGHING] 164 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,400 I know Sydney Mercer. 165 00:08:34,433 --> 00:08:38,150 He's a fat, old, womanizing geezer. 166 00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:40,000 He's my father. 167 00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:41,483 And funny. 168 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,166 Oh, love that guy. 169 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,366 Miss Mercer, right this way. 170 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,330 Mr. Sheffield's sorry he's kept you. 171 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:50,466 We're all sorry he's kept you. 172 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:56,660 Max, you are a publicist's dream. 173 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,366 You are devastatingly handsome, sexy, 174 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,160 and incredibly debonair. 175 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,133 (GIGGLES) 176 00:09:06,283 --> 00:09:10,300 Wait. She hasn't even seen him do his Rod Stewart yet. 177 00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:15,000 Your only problem is that you have kept yourself a secret. 178 00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:16,300 Yes, yes, I'm a secret. 179 00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:19,000 I was just telling everyone what a secret I was, right? 180 00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:22,216 -He's such a secret. -Yeah, a secret, all right. 181 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:26,160 Oh, Max, we are gonna have so much fun together. 182 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,416 Just put yourself in my hands. 183 00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:32,116 Whoa. Whoa. 184 00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:37,200 Before Maxwell puts anything in your hands, 185 00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,316 he must discuss this with his partner. 186 00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:43,500 We make all our important decisions together. 187 00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:44,383 You're hired. 188 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,233 Maxwell, I want a man. 189 00:09:49,266 --> 00:09:52,450 The last one deflated when she nibbled his ear. 190 00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:58,500 And to think this morning I was so recalcitrant. 191 00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:00,183 Eggs always do that to him. 192 00:10:02,216 --> 00:10:05,216 Miss Fine, why are you here? 193 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:11,433 I don't know. Everyone was walking this way. 194 00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:20,416 Oh, look, Sydney got Mr. Sheffield 195 00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:23,000 on the cover of People 196 00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:27,250 Yeah. The worst dressed list. 197 00:10:27,283 --> 00:10:32,500 Meanwhile, only the hippest and trendiest people end up on that list. 198 00:10:37,466 --> 00:10:42,116 They got Marsha Clark on the best dressed. Case closed. 199 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:45,483 Oh. Meanwhile, I think he looks gorgeous. 200 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:50,116 But who's that cheap floozy squeezing into the picture behind him? 201 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,333 Oh! I'm inPeople 202 00:10:56,116 --> 00:10:58,433 Listen to this. Liz Smith. 203 00:10:58,466 --> 00:11:00,383 "Broadway producer, Maxwell Sheffield 204 00:11:00,416 --> 00:11:04,466 "has hired the young, vivacious Sydney Mercer to promote him." 205 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,416 Promote, my ass. 206 00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:09,383 All right. But we'll need a two-page spread. 207 00:11:11,116 --> 00:11:12,433 Hello, people. 208 00:11:17,316 --> 00:11:19,333 Anyone catch me onRicki Lake? 209 00:11:19,366 --> 00:11:22,233 Yes. And you looked gorgeous. 210 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:26,366 Oh, that Bea Arthur was making such eyes for you. 211 00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:31,483 Whoa. If it isn't the lost Baldwin brother, Pappy. 212 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:36,300 You know, darling, I think we should celebrate our success. 213 00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:38,500 How's this sound to you? 214 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:39,333 The Rainbow Room. 215 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,233 Dinner, dancing. 216 00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:42,350 Free tonight? 217 00:11:42,383 --> 00:11:44,166 As a bird. 218 00:11:45,350 --> 00:11:49,330 Oh, so I can take care of the kids. 219 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:52,266 Darling, there is no one I would rather have dinner with. 220 00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:54,183 See you at 8:00? 221 00:11:59,483 --> 00:12:04,300 Oh, did you see how many holes he has in his jeans? 222 00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:06,200 12. 12. 223 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,333 Well, I talked him out of the leather pants. 224 00:12:18,233 --> 00:12:19,283 Then I spent the next hour 225 00:12:19,316 --> 00:12:21,483 getting him out of the leather pants. 226 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:28,830 Took you an hour to get a pair of pants off of a man? 227 00:12:28,116 --> 00:12:31,183 Next time, try wearing a little Chanel No. 5 and a tube top. 228 00:12:34,483 --> 00:12:36,283 Miss Fine, this is serious. 229 00:12:36,316 --> 00:12:38,433 Our little boy is noticing girls. 230 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:42,450 Oh, please, he's not ready to take the plunge with Sydney. 231 00:12:42,483 --> 00:12:46,166 The man is a scared, timid little puppy. 232 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,216 Woof! 233 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:50,233 Well, night all. And don't wait up. 234 00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:52,116 Well, wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 235 00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:53,366 There's something different about you. 236 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,333 [GASPS] You took off your wedding ring. 237 00:12:56,366 --> 00:12:59,830 My bloody hand's in my pocket. 238 00:12:59,116 --> 00:13:00,333 How could you possibly know that? 239 00:13:00,366 --> 00:13:04,350 Oh, I could spot a man without a wedding ring a mile away. 240 00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:09,466 Oh, there's one. There's one. 241 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,416 There's another one. 242 00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:14,116 What the hell am I doing in here? 243 00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:18,660 Well, Niles, what do you think of the new look, huh? 244 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,400 Oh, it's fantastic, sir. 245 00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:22,500 Yes. I'd take all those Brooks Brothers suits 246 00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:24,000 and just give them away. 247 00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:26,330 Good idea. Get rid of them for me, would you? 248 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:28,400 Yes. I'll make all the alterations... Arrangements. 249 00:13:30,483 --> 00:13:33,100 Well, Miss Fine, you were right. 250 00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:36,350 I think I really was hiding behind my ring. 251 00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:40,000 Truth is, I was terrified of getting hurt. 252 00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:44,160 But now, thanks to you, I think I've really met the one. 253 00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:46,416 Ohhh. 254 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,160 Well, the guy's in love. 255 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,300 I couldn't be happier for him. 256 00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:58,000 Think it'll last? 257 00:13:58,330 --> 00:14:01,100 Miss Fine, you're not concerned about your position? 258 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,100 Niles, you dog. 259 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,183 No. In the household, Miss Fine. 260 00:14:08,216 --> 00:14:10,200 Oh, what have I got to be worried about? 261 00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:13,183 That he'll bring home a wife who'll take care of the kids, 262 00:14:13,216 --> 00:14:16,000 feed them lunch, send them off to school? 263 00:14:16,330 --> 00:14:17,333 I don't do that. 264 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,250 Well, I better go upstairs and clean out a few of his drawers. 265 00:14:22,283 --> 00:14:24,116 Niles, she's not moving in yet. 266 00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:26,416 I know. I need some shirts to go with my new suits. 267 00:14:29,183 --> 00:14:30,266 [DOORBELL RINGING] 268 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,316 I'll get it. I'll get it. 269 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,000 -Oh. -Hello, Fran. Is Maxwell ready? 270 00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,316 Well, what are you doing here? 271 00:14:40,350 --> 00:14:42,333 He just left to go to the Rainbow Room. 272 00:14:42,366 --> 00:14:45,100 Oh, no. I thought I was supposed to meet him here. 273 00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:48,330 Oh, you better hurry up, because if he eats too late, 274 00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:50,116 he gets terrible indigestion. 275 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:52,660 But if that happens, 276 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,160 don't let him take anything but two Mylanta gelcaps. 277 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,183 Oh, wait. I'll give you some. 278 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,660 And I just want to wish you 279 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,250 all the happiness in the world. 280 00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:05,366 You will be needing a nanny, won't you? 281 00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:09,266 What are we talking about? 282 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,330 Well, $500 a week plus dental. 283 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:15,416 Fran, you are way off. 284 00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:18,116 Okay. $350 and a Waterpik. 285 00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:24,183 No. I mean Maxwell. 286 00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:26,483 I'm not interested in him that way. 287 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,100 Well, what's the matter? He's not good enough for you? 288 00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:32,116 It's his gender. 289 00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:35,830 Oh, believe me, I accidentally saw him in the shower, 290 00:15:35,116 --> 00:15:37,416 and there's nothing wrong with his gender. 291 00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,316 Fran, I'm gay. 292 00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:46,450 [GASPING] 293 00:15:46,483 --> 00:15:49,166 You're gay? 294 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,316 Oh, thank God. 295 00:16:01,383 --> 00:16:03,150 Uh. 296 00:16:05,366 --> 00:16:09,350 Uh, I'm letting go and you're not. Why? 297 00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:13,250 Aren't you gay, too? 298 00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:15,233 Me? No. 299 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,200 I just assumed. You're over 30. 300 00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:20,330 You've never been married. 301 00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:21,350 There's no man in your life. 302 00:16:21,383 --> 00:16:24,466 Oh, honey, I'm not gay. I'm just pathetic. 303 00:16:32,830 --> 00:16:34,500 Too bad. I would have asked you out. 304 00:16:34,830 --> 00:16:36,183 Oh, great. A gorgeous professional 305 00:16:36,216 --> 00:16:38,383 finally asks me out and it's a woman. 306 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,830 You're not Jewish, are you? 307 00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:45,150 Sorry. Oh, too bad. 308 00:16:45,183 --> 00:16:47,383 We were this close to making my mother happy. 309 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,830 I feel like this whole thing is my fault. 310 00:16:54,116 --> 00:16:56,300 Oh, don't blame yourself. 311 00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:58,466 But how could you do this to him? 312 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,330 Couldn't you see he was falling for you? 313 00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:04,416 You're not enjoying this, are you? 314 00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:10,483 Fran, how was I to know? 315 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,283 We just had business lunches. 316 00:17:13,316 --> 00:17:15,383 I talked, he listened. 317 00:17:15,416 --> 00:17:18,233 Does that mean he wants to have sex with me? 318 00:17:18,266 --> 00:17:21,133 Yes. 319 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,116 That's why they listen. 320 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,000 That's why they buy you dinner. 321 00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:28,183 That's why they tell you they like your voice, it's not too nasal. 322 00:17:28,216 --> 00:17:29,350 Oh. 323 00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:34,250 Fran, I really want to keep Max as a client. 324 00:17:34,283 --> 00:17:36,330 How can I make this up to him? 325 00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:38,160 Oh, I don't know. 326 00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:42,333 The poor man's sitting alone in a restaurant, his heart on his sleeve, 327 00:17:42,366 --> 00:17:46,350 vulnerable, ready to make a commitment to a woman... 328 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:53,250 Taxi! Taxi! Taxi! 329 00:17:55,233 --> 00:17:58,266 Wait. Hold the elevator. Hold the elevator. 330 00:18:00,150 --> 00:18:03,266 Miss Fine, what on Earth are you doing here? 331 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:06,283 Um, my eye doctor's in this building. 332 00:18:07,366 --> 00:18:10,500 And you're dressed like that? 333 00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:14,183 Oh, would you look at what I put on! 334 00:18:14,216 --> 00:18:17,150 Well, thank God he could take me on Saturday night. 335 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,133 Mr. Sheffield, what do you think of 336 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:25,233 when a woman is in her 30s, gorgeous, and never been married? 337 00:18:25,266 --> 00:18:28,166 Oh, don't worry, Miss Fine. You'll meet someone. 338 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,433 Not me. I was talking about... 339 00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:31,350 Oh, you think I'm gorgeous? 340 00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:34,300 What's your point? 341 00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:37,830 Never mind. How long have you thought I was gorgeous? 342 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,333 Miss Fine, I have a date with Sydney. 343 00:18:39,366 --> 00:18:42,333 Oh, no, you don't. She's gay. Let's focus on me. 344 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,233 What did you say? 345 00:18:46,266 --> 00:18:48,100 I said let's focus on me. 346 00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:49,416 Miss Fine! 347 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:53,216 FRAN: Oh, no. The elevator's stuck! 348 00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:55,166 MAXWELL: Just keep calm. FRAN: I think we're stuck! 349 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,000 MAXWELL: It's gonna be okay, Miss Fine. 350 00:18:58,330 --> 00:18:59,433 What are you doing? 351 00:19:01,216 --> 00:19:05,660 FRAN: I'm looking for the emergency phone. 352 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,660 MAXWELL: That's not it. 353 00:19:13,416 --> 00:19:16,283 FRAN: Oh, well, then I'd better stop talking into it. 354 00:19:20,383 --> 00:19:23,400 Oh, well, at least the lights came back on. 355 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,350 I can't believe Sydney's gay. 356 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:31,316 Oh, God, what an idiot I've made of myself. 357 00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,333 Oh, wait a minute. What am I saying? 358 00:19:33,366 --> 00:19:35,233 She doesn't know how I feel about her. 359 00:19:35,266 --> 00:19:38,000 Oh, well, don't be so sure. 360 00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:39,200 You know, women have a sixth sense... 361 00:19:39,233 --> 00:19:40,316 You told her? 362 00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:42,133 Oh, yeah. 363 00:19:42,166 --> 00:19:44,000 You know, Miss Fine, my one regret 364 00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,160 is that the cable on this elevator might snap 365 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,166 before I can get my hands around your throat. 366 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,350 That's your one regret? 367 00:19:50,383 --> 00:19:53,416 Not the revival ofFiddler starring Lyle Waggoner? 368 00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:55,200 Miss Fine! 369 00:20:01,383 --> 00:20:04,216 Would you just calm down? Relax. 370 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:07,450 Let's just sit down and take it easy. 371 00:20:07,483 --> 00:20:11,250 Eventually, someone will come and get us out of here. 372 00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:14,830 [SIGHING] 373 00:20:14,116 --> 00:20:15,466 Oh, what a waste. 374 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,466 You know, upstairs I have an intimate table for two waiting, 375 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:23,200 a violinist, champagne chilling on ice, cracked crab. 376 00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:27,166 All right, give me a boost. We're making a break. 377 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,350 Let me take this off. Jacket. 378 00:20:33,216 --> 00:20:35,233 [GRUNTING] 379 00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:39,433 It's only one floor away. 380 00:20:39,466 --> 00:20:43,450 Oh, it's right over there where that rat just went. 381 00:20:43,483 --> 00:20:45,200 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 382 00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:46,350 There's a rat. There's a rat. 383 00:20:46,383 --> 00:20:48,160 Oh, Mr. Sheffield. 384 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:49,300 Miss...Miss... Miss Fine, it's all right. 385 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:51,283 Just calm down, Miss Fine. 386 00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:54,333 Just remember he's more afraid of you than you are of him. 387 00:20:54,366 --> 00:20:56,500 Oh, I don't think so. 388 00:20:56,830 --> 00:20:58,116 Right now he's looking at my hair thinking, 389 00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:01,250 "Is that a one-bedroom or a two?" 390 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,830 Pull me down. Pull me down. Pull me down. 391 00:21:05,116 --> 00:21:09,330 Oh, good news and bad news, Miss Fine. 392 00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:10,466 The bad news is you're stuck. 393 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,350 Oh, well, what's the good news? 394 00:21:14,383 --> 00:21:18,183 You've got your money's worth on that Thigh Master. 395 00:21:21,416 --> 00:21:25,283 Help! 396 00:21:25,316 --> 00:21:26,450 Oh, my God. 397 00:21:26,483 --> 00:21:28,116 What? Another rat? 398 00:21:28,150 --> 00:21:32,300 Worse. There's an echo in here. 399 00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,450 I just heard my own voice. 400 00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:39,166 [BAND PLAYING] 401 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,466 Oh, the band's 402 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,266 beginning to play. 403 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:50,500 Oh. How I love this song. 404 00:21:50,830 --> 00:21:52,483 Want to dance? No, Miss Fine. 405 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:57,266 If you don't mind, I'd rather sit this one out. 406 00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:00,116 Maybe I should sit out the next five years, 407 00:22:00,150 --> 00:22:02,183 then I wouldn't have to feel this way again. 408 00:22:02,216 --> 00:22:07,330 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, don't be so hard on yourself. 409 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:11,316 Take it from me, you're a real catch. 410 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,133 When the right woman comes along, 411 00:22:16,166 --> 00:22:20,830 believe me, you'll know it. 412 00:22:21,483 --> 00:22:24,830 Thank you, Miss Fine. 413 00:22:24,116 --> 00:22:26,433 But I'm afraid I wouldn't know the right woman for me 414 00:22:26,466 --> 00:22:28,333 if she fell out of the sky. 415 00:22:28,366 --> 00:22:30,330 (EXCLAIMING] 416 00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:35,216 [MUSIC PLAYING]