1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,266 -Anything for the post office? -Here. 2 00:00:04,300 --> 00:00:06,150 Miss Babcock's corporate tax returns 3 00:00:06,183 --> 00:00:07,366 must be postmarked by the 15th 4 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,660 or she'll face substantial penalties. 5 00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:13,383 -Today's the 16th, Niles. -What's your point? 6 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,266 Would you mail this letter to Lenny? 7 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:20,133 You know, I can't believe you're still writing to your first-grade pen 8 00:00:20,166 --> 00:00:22,416 Why? Val wrote to hers for a long time 9 00:00:22,450 --> 00:00:24,266 until eventually he lost his appeal. 10 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:26,100 She got tired of writing him, huh? 11 00:00:26,133 --> 00:00:28,100 No. He lost his appeal. 12 00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:31,316 They fried him at Leavenworth. 13 00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:33,433 Here you go. 14 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:35,250 Miss Fine, this is an Easter Seal. 15 00:00:35,283 --> 00:00:38,133 -Oh, they don't look. -Oh. 16 00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:41,383 FRAN: Ugh, something smells rotten in here. 17 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,283 Or dead under the house. 18 00:00:43,316 --> 00:00:46,366 Or... Maggie, I love your new perfume. 19 00:00:47,466 --> 00:00:50,160 She's trying to attract a guy. 20 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,300 Who, the Orkin Man? 21 00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:55,160 Now, Brighton, be nice to your sister. 22 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:02,133 Thank God my new girlfriend doesn't smell like that. 23 00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:05,416 Oh, does she fold out and thumbtack to the wall like the last one? 24 00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:09,300 Well, I think it's just fabulous. 25 00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:11,300 Now even you'll be married before me. 26 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:14,316 Who is this little tramp that's after your father's money? 27 00:01:15,483 --> 00:01:17,116 Well, her name's Veronica. 28 00:01:17,150 --> 00:01:18,266 I leave notes for her in third period, 29 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,383 she leaves them for me in fourth. 30 00:01:19,416 --> 00:01:21,433 We've had no physical contact whatsoever. 31 00:01:21,466 --> 00:01:24,416 Well, it's working for Michael and Lisa Marie. 32 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,233 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 33 00:01:29,266 --> 00:01:32,183 SINGER:♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 34 00:01:32,216 --> 00:01:33,416 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 35 00:01:33,450 --> 00:01:35,266 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 36 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,200 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 37 00:01:37,233 --> 00:01:40,283 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 38 00:01:40,316 --> 00:01:43,116 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 39 00:01:43,150 --> 00:01:45,483 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 40 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,466 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 41 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,333 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 42 00:01:51,366 --> 00:01:54,183 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 43 00:01:54,216 --> 00:01:56,416 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 44 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,183 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 45 00:01:58,216 --> 00:01:59,400 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 46 00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:01,000 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 47 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,500 ♪♪ Such♪♪ 48 00:02:03,830 --> 00:02:07,416 ♪♪ She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 49 00:02:07,450 --> 00:02:10,100 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 50 00:02:10,133 --> 00:02:12,450 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 51 00:02:14,316 --> 00:02:17,216 [TV PLAYING] 52 00:02:19,116 --> 00:02:21,200 Oh, Autumn, what are you doing? 53 00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:23,416 You're throwing your life away. 54 00:02:23,450 --> 00:02:27,330 And for what? Thatschmendrick 55 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:29,000 Oh, this isn't even my soap. 56 00:02:33,183 --> 00:02:36,316 Oh, Summer, what are you doing? 57 00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:40,433 Throwing your life away. 58 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,116 Oh, Nanny Fine. 59 00:02:44,150 --> 00:02:46,233 How can you watch those soaps? 60 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,350 -[SHUSHING] -The plots are so ridi... 61 00:02:48,383 --> 00:02:50,100 what's going on? 62 00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:53,333 Well, she is hopelessly in love with her business partner, 63 00:02:53,366 --> 00:02:56,166 only he doesn't even know she exists. 64 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,450 What a loser. 65 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,333 Hello, Maxwell. 66 00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:05,300 Maxwell! 67 00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:08,233 Oh, I'm sorry, C.C. I didn't notice you there. 68 00:03:09,366 --> 00:03:11,333 So what's gonna happen? Is she going to get this guy 69 00:03:11,366 --> 00:03:14,416 or bash his British head in or what? 70 00:03:14,450 --> 00:03:17,416 Well, he asked her to work late tonight, 71 00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:20,183 and she's going to seduce him. 72 00:03:20,216 --> 00:03:22,250 So we'll find out what happens tomorrow? 73 00:03:22,283 --> 00:03:23,400 Tomorrow? 74 00:03:23,433 --> 00:03:25,500 This is a soap. 75 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:26,366 We'll be lucky if six months from now 76 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,330 that coffee she's making is ready. 77 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,433 Oh, C.C., what are you doing Saturday night? 78 00:03:33,466 --> 00:03:36,483 Oh, my cousin Gee Gee needs a transfusion, 79 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,500 and my blood type is the...why? 80 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,450 Never mind. I just thought we could do some work, 81 00:03:43,483 --> 00:03:47,150 -but under the circumstances, with your cousin... -Oh, what's the rush? 82 00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:50,330 I mean, they gave her six months. 83 00:03:51,216 --> 00:03:54,450 You know, if she were Jewish, her last name would be Iceberg. 84 00:03:56,330 --> 00:03:57,300 Oh, lookee here. 85 00:03:57,333 --> 00:04:00,216 Another letter from that pen pal of yours. 86 00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:03,216 Do I detect a strong, hideous cologne? 87 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:06,233 Yeah, your daughter just left. 88 00:04:06,266 --> 00:04:09,266 But on the bright side, no more silverfish. 89 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:15,150 Oh, Lenny. 90 00:04:15,183 --> 00:04:16,433 [EXCLAIMING] 91 00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:19,200 -Oh, stop doing that. -What? 92 00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:21,116 Whenever you get a letter from Lenny, 93 00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:23,116 you make that ridiculous grin. 94 00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:24,400 No, I don't. 95 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:29,250 You know, you never did tell me what this Lenny chap looks like. 96 00:04:29,283 --> 00:04:30,466 Oh, I have no idea. 97 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,830 We vowed never to exchange photographs, 98 00:04:33,116 --> 00:04:35,000 which is probably why he stood by me 99 00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:37,233 through my fatal attraction with Ben and Jerry. 100 00:04:38,316 --> 00:04:42,000 Yes. I've seen those pictures at your mother's. 101 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:46,830 Listen, Mr. Smarty Feldman, 102 00:04:46,116 --> 00:04:49,266 he who wore a plaid skirt to his high school graduation 103 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,466 should not throw stones. 104 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,266 It was a kilt. 105 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,830 You say potato. 106 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,366 Oh, no, I'm nauseous! 107 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,250 What, Lenny broke the no-photo rule? 108 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,433 No. He's coming to New York, 109 00:05:02,466 --> 00:05:07,166 and he wants to meet me for dinner at the Russian Tea Room. 110 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,133 The Russian Tea Rooms are bad because waiters 111 00:05:09,166 --> 00:05:12,200 dressed as Cossacks give you the creeps? What? 112 00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:15,316 No. I'm afraid to meet Lenny because, well... 113 00:05:15,350 --> 00:05:20,216 Over the years, I might have stretched the truth a little 114 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,316 For instance? 115 00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:22,466 Oh, things. 116 00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:27,333 [STAR-SPANGLED BANNER PLAYING] 117 00:05:29,216 --> 00:05:32,400 Oh, cheer up, FloJo. Silver goes with everything. 118 00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:37,183 Are you out of your mind? 119 00:05:37,216 --> 00:05:38,466 What, no good? 120 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,233 You wouldn't believe I'm the fastest woman on Earth? 121 00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:43,233 In that outfit I would. 122 00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:48,100 You like? 123 00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:49,350 'Cause I did kind of tell him 124 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:54,150 that I was also a little more popular than I am. 125 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,266 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 126 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,450 Yes, sir! 127 00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:03,350 -You know... -Oh, what a great audience. 128 00:06:03,383 --> 00:06:04,316 Thank you! 129 00:06:04,350 --> 00:06:06,266 You know, to me... 130 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,200 To me nothing says debutante 131 00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:10,366 like a leopard-skin cocktail dress. 132 00:06:12,316 --> 00:06:14,250 What, no Oprah? 133 00:06:14,283 --> 00:06:16,116 I don't do daytime. 134 00:06:17,366 --> 00:06:21,233 Miss Fine, whatever possessed you to make up all these things? 135 00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:23,500 What is it you're always telling the children? 136 00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:26,160 Don't wear white shoes after Labor Day? 137 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,266 All right, what is it I'm always telling the children? 138 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:32,366 Miss Fine works too hard. We should send her to Club Med. 139 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,333 No. To tell the truth. 140 00:06:34,366 --> 00:06:37,366 Oy, I think I told him I was on that show, too. 141 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,500 Oh, mayday, Fran. 142 00:06:40,830 --> 00:06:41,400 Veronica stayed after school so she could meet me. 143 00:06:41,433 --> 00:06:43,500 And that's it. It's over. 144 00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:44,283 Oh, what happened? 145 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,366 Well, I wrote to her and told her I look 146 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,483 and I don't. 147 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,216 B, you made up some cock-and-bull story 148 00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:54,416 just to make yourself seem better? 149 00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:57,133 I'm so surprised at you. 150 00:06:59,266 --> 00:07:03,350 What? I said I was surprised at him. 151 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:06,400 I had to lie to Lenny. 152 00:07:06,433 --> 00:07:09,660 A guy like that's not gonna be interested in me 153 00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:11,483 without the Olympics, Letterman, and... 154 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,166 my career. 155 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,330 You told him you were a nanny? 156 00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:16,233 Close. 157 00:07:18,116 --> 00:07:22,466 [THEME FROM 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY PLAYING] 158 00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:44,000 Houston, we have a problem. 159 00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:58,100 Oh, Niles, I thought I might as well give Miss Fine 160 00:07:58,133 --> 00:07:59,383 a lift to the Tea Rooms. 161 00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:02,333 I'm going out anyway. Got to drop by my... 162 00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:05,366 My, um, attorney's. 163 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,400 Your attorney is nowhere near the Russian Tea Room. 164 00:08:08,433 --> 00:08:10,200 Then I'll get a new one. 165 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,466 Same place I'll get a butler. 166 00:08:17,283 --> 00:08:18,450 Admit it, sir. 167 00:08:18,483 --> 00:08:21,830 You're dying to get a look at this Leonard fellow. 168 00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:25,300 Oh, Niles, as usual, you are way off the mark. 169 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:28,166 Do you think he still has all his hair? 170 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,483 Oh, no, sir. 171 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,116 You're the fairest of them all. 172 00:08:35,116 --> 00:08:36,466 Where is Miss Fine anyway? 173 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,416 Oh, she's upstairs getting allfarpitzed. 174 00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:41,366 What does that mean? 175 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,450 You know, dressed. 176 00:08:42,483 --> 00:08:44,466 I thought that was farblondzhet. 177 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,466 No, sir, that means confused. 178 00:08:47,383 --> 00:08:49,266 No, man, that'sfarkatke. 179 00:08:50,266 --> 00:08:52,266 Well, then, what'sfarshimmelt? 180 00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:56,330 I think that's her uncle. 181 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:05,366 Oh, Miss Fine, you look beautiful. 182 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,433 Oh, yeah, but I'm all farshvitzt. 183 00:09:12,216 --> 00:09:15,166 Oh, what am I so afraid of anyway? 184 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,350 So I told Lenny that I'm a little more sophisticated 185 00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,830 than I really am. 186 00:09:20,116 --> 00:09:23,160 Oh, God. Please let that be an eyelash. 187 00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:28,183 Yeah, it was. 188 00:09:29,483 --> 00:09:31,000 Tell me the truth. 189 00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:33,216 If you were expecting Grace Kelly, 190 00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:36,216 and I showed up, you wouldn't be disappointed, right? 191 00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,266 -Literally Grace Kelly? -Yeah. 192 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,383 Well, yes. 193 00:09:41,283 --> 00:09:44,133 I believe youfarkatked 194 00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:47,166 FRAN: Oh, forget it. I'm not going. 195 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,100 Oh, Miss Fine, what, so for the next 20 years, 196 00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:52,383 I have to hear about this wonderful man you never met? 197 00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:54,333 You are going. 198 00:09:54,366 --> 00:09:55,383 As a matter of fact... 199 00:09:55,416 --> 00:09:56,466 You're going to take her yourself. 200 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,166 I'm going to take you myself... 201 00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,483 Even though it's nowhere near your attorney. 202 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,250 Even though it's nowhere near my... 203 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,283 Anyway, you're going to meet this Lenny fellow face to face 204 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,416 so you can see that he is no better than I am. 205 00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:13,383 -You are. -Would you please? 206 00:10:14,366 --> 00:10:15,366 You are. 207 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,330 All right, let's go. 208 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,150 Wait, wait. 209 00:10:18,183 --> 00:10:21,100 Oh, I know. I'll tell him I couldn't come, 210 00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:23,200 because Miss America could not fulfill her duties 211 00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:25,450 and I had to jump in. That's good, that's good. 212 00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:29,160 No, you wrote that to him in your last letter. 213 00:10:32,166 --> 00:10:34,400 A million Rosa Lopezes in the world, 214 00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:38,000 and we got to end up with a domestic with total recall. 215 00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:43,450 Hello, hello. 216 00:10:43,483 --> 00:10:45,216 Ready to work? 217 00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:46,366 Maxwell? 218 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,133 I'll be back in a while, C.C. 219 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,266 Can you start without me? 220 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,416 She can, and she has. 221 00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:04,160 Come along, Miss Fine. 222 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,350 There's no reason to be so trepidatious. 223 00:11:06,383 --> 00:11:09,316 Well, I can't help it. I'm nervous. 224 00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:14,233 Oh, what if he's not as accepting of me as you are? 225 00:11:14,266 --> 00:11:17,250 I mean, you've seen me at my absolute worst. 226 00:11:17,283 --> 00:11:19,160 Yes, I have. 227 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,100 When? 228 00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:22,466 No, I just mean your absolute worst 229 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,100 is absolutely lovely. 230 00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:29,333 You know, there's a pooper-scooper law in this city. 231 00:11:29,366 --> 00:11:31,500 Come along. 232 00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:33,300 Oh, I'm going. I'm going. 233 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:35,383 Quit pushing. Quit pushing. 234 00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:37,333 Oh, Mr. Sheffield! 235 00:11:48,366 --> 00:11:51,116 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, it's very sweet of you 236 00:11:51,150 --> 00:11:54,183 to sit with me until Lenny comes, but it isn't necessary. 237 00:11:54,216 --> 00:11:56,383 I'm a grown woman. I can handle myself. 238 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,450 Hello, girl sweet as pudding. 239 00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:09,116 Uh, you know, my wife was pissed, 240 00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:12,500 but I felt trapped in my old body. 241 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:22,150 Forget it, Miss Fine. I'm not going anywhere. 242 00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:24,350 Would you care for an aperitif? 243 00:12:24,383 --> 00:12:27,366 No, I'll just do a little before-dinner drink. 244 00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:30,416 Two champagne cocktails, please. 245 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,200 Oh, Mr. Sheffield. 246 00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:36,330 Buying drinks, how classy. 247 00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,183 Boy, me and Val usually just sit at the bar 248 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,250 and wait for the guys next to us to go to the bathroom, 249 00:12:40,283 --> 00:12:42,233 and then we take theirs. 250 00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:44,233 You'd drink someone else's drink? 251 00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:47,266 No! We just hold it. 252 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,383 Well, you got to have a drink 253 00:12:48,416 --> 00:12:51,283 to get into the free happy-hour buffet. 254 00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:54,000 Don't you ever go out? 255 00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:55,233 Actually, I'll have you know 256 00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:58,266 I was quite the Jack-the-lad in my day. 257 00:12:59,266 --> 00:13:01,116 Oh, well, that's okay. 258 00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:04,400 Everybody goes through a curiosity phase. 259 00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:05,416 Oh, thanks. 260 00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:08,150 Ah, just in time. 261 00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:15,116 Oh, I don't know why I'm so worried about meeting Lenny anyway. 262 00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:17,250 I mean, at least I'm not that broad over there. 263 00:13:17,283 --> 00:13:19,183 Would you look at her? 264 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,433 Desperate look in her eyes, 265 00:13:22,466 --> 00:13:24,366 boozing it up. 266 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,483 Oh, my God! It's me! 267 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,350 Maxwell, darling, is that you? 268 00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:12,350 Shh. Don't turn around. 269 00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:24,250 I'm yours. 270 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,300 Tell me what you want me to do. 271 00:14:35,366 --> 00:14:38,000 [WHISPERING] Cluck like a chicken. 272 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,383 What? 273 00:14:47,416 --> 00:14:50,330 It turns me on. 274 00:14:55,316 --> 00:14:59,383 [IMITATING HEN CLUCKING] 275 00:15:15,483 --> 00:15:18,100 [SCREAMING] 276 00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:25,266 Mr. Sheffield's been delayed. 277 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,333 Did you think I was him? 278 00:15:29,466 --> 00:15:32,150 If you tell anyone about this... 279 00:15:32,183 --> 00:15:34,300 Oh, I'd never do that. 280 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,333 We need the eggs. 281 00:15:43,283 --> 00:15:46,200 Oh, I'll tell you, I feel so out of place here. 282 00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:48,100 I can't remember the last time 283 00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:51,100 I sat on a barstool waiting to meet a guy. 284 00:15:51,133 --> 00:15:53,466 I thought you went out last night with Val. 285 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,416 Oh, yeah. That's when it was. 286 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,350 Oh, would you look at those two chippies over there 287 00:16:01,383 --> 00:16:04,500 checking you out? 288 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,250 You know, Mr. Sheffield, you're not tied to me. 289 00:16:06,283 --> 00:16:09,160 I mean, if you want to work the room... 290 00:16:10,830 --> 00:16:12,233 No. If I get up, you might take my drink. 291 00:16:14,216 --> 00:16:16,330 Touche. 292 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:18,266 You are sosuave bola. 293 00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:23,150 I bet you got some sure-fire pickup lines. 294 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,466 Well, the first one's simply, 295 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,233 "Maxwell Sheffield, Broadway producer." 296 00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:30,160 What's the second one? 297 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:31,316 "How do you like your eggs?" 298 00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:34,160 [EXCLAIMING] 299 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,333 Mr. Sheffield! 300 00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:39,366 I wonder what's keeping Lenny. 301 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,450 Lenny who? Oh. 302 00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:43,466 He's half-an-hour late. 303 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,416 The suspense must be killing you. 304 00:16:45,450 --> 00:16:47,283 Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. 305 00:16:47,316 --> 00:16:49,433 I was just thinking how nice it is to get out, 306 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,266 you know, without the kids. 307 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:55,433 Maybe it's time we thought about hiring someone to take care of...oh. 308 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,200 Yes, Miss Fine, 309 00:16:59,233 --> 00:17:01,433 I've often thought of hiring a nanny myself. 310 00:17:01,466 --> 00:17:05,333 [LAUGHING] 311 00:17:05,366 --> 00:17:10,116 Oh, you know, Mr. Sheffield, I have a little confession to make. 312 00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:12,200 I'm having such a great time just sitting here with you, 313 00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:15,166 I don't even care if Lenny is a no-show. 314 00:17:16,216 --> 00:17:17,350 There he is, 315 00:17:17,383 --> 00:17:20,500 and he's gorgeous. Go home. 316 00:17:21,233 --> 00:17:23,366 Wait. Miss Fine, how do you even know that's him? 317 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:27,216 Well, we both agreed to wear a red rose. 318 00:17:28,183 --> 00:17:30,000 He's turning around. 319 00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:32,133 Boy, coming and going, it's still good. 320 00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:34,166 Well, I suppose he's all right, 321 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,660 if you go for that dark, Mediterranean, 322 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:38,433 well-muscled-from-the-docks type. 323 00:17:39,416 --> 00:17:41,266 What, are you jealous? 324 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,333 Well, I admit, I wish I could lift a crate 325 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,200 of rear-projection television sets, 326 00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:49,100 but unfortunately, I have to hire people to do that. 327 00:17:51,266 --> 00:17:53,450 Hi, it's me! 328 00:17:53,483 --> 00:17:55,100 Hi. 329 00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:56,233 Well, don't be shy. 330 00:17:56,266 --> 00:17:58,266 Give me a kiss. 331 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,333 Maxwell Sheffield. 332 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,216 David Stavros. 333 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,133 Who? 334 00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:11,000 You're not Lenny? 335 00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:13,450 Well, what are you wearing a red rose for? 336 00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:15,400 I'm with the band. 337 00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:20,283 You have some hell of a nerve! 338 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:23,183 Now, kiss me goodnight and get out of here. 339 00:18:24,316 --> 00:18:27,000 Uh, Miss Fine! 340 00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:29,250 Oh, all right. 341 00:18:29,283 --> 00:18:32,660 Here. Jot your number down on this napkin. 342 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,416 Now get lost. 343 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,830 What do you say? You want to give this Lenny another half-an-hour? 344 00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:40,150 Oh, no way. The guy stood me up. 345 00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:42,830 Boy, you'd think that he would want to meet 346 00:18:42,116 --> 00:18:46,133 the first millionaire woman astronaut who opened for Streisand. 347 00:18:47,233 --> 00:18:49,150 Perhaps your letters intimidated him. 348 00:18:49,183 --> 00:18:52,200 Yeah, well, if he can't handle a strong woman... 349 00:18:52,233 --> 00:18:54,283 Excuse me, ma'am. This was left for you. 350 00:18:54,316 --> 00:18:55,466 Oh. 351 00:18:57,183 --> 00:18:59,250 Oh, it's from Lenny. 352 00:18:59,283 --> 00:19:03,000 "Dear Fran, this is my last letter. 353 00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:07,250 When I came in and saw you with that great-looking guy, 354 00:19:07,283 --> 00:19:12,216 I knew I could never compete with him." 355 00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:15,366 Oh, Miss Fine, I--I feel terrible. 356 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,466 You? 357 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,300 What were the odds of Lenny walking in 358 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:23,000 just when I was in the arms of David? 359 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,316 Niles, I don't make it a habit of drinking with the help. 360 00:19:35,350 --> 00:19:38,500 I've never been any help to you. 361 00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:41,133 Exactly. 362 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,116 So, tell me, Rochester, 363 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:56,830 what did you do to kill a day before I came along? 364 00:19:56,116 --> 00:19:59,316 Well, truth be told, my life was a little empty. 365 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,416 But now I have a hobby. 366 00:20:06,116 --> 00:20:08,250 I loathe you. 367 00:20:09,216 --> 00:20:11,333 I despise you. 368 00:20:11,366 --> 00:20:12,366 Servant. 369 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,116 Trollop. 370 00:20:15,233 --> 00:20:17,283 Bellboy. 371 00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,300 Brunette. 372 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,366 Good night, Maxwell, Fanny Nine. 373 00:20:49,150 --> 00:20:50,433 Swine. 374 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,233 Chicken. 375 00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:00,116 Good night, people. 376 00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:05,350 Miss Fine, how much did I have to drink this evening? 377 00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:08,300 Not as much as them. 378 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,350 I suppose when two people spend as much time 379 00:21:10,383 --> 00:21:12,100 around each other as those two, 380 00:21:12,133 --> 00:21:14,250 something like this is bound to happen. 381 00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:17,400 Yeah, I suppose it's inevitable. 382 00:21:21,660 --> 00:21:22,300 Are you... 383 00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:25,300 are you thinking what I'm thinking? 384 00:21:25,333 --> 00:21:27,300 What are you thinking? 385 00:21:29,116 --> 00:21:31,216 I'm thinking about... 386 00:21:33,183 --> 00:21:36,133 taking a shower and going to bed. 387 00:21:39,216 --> 00:21:40,433 What a coincidence. 388 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:44,416 I'm going to bed thinking about you taking a shower. 389 00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:47,216 [♪♪♪] 390 00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:57,150 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]