1
00:00:01,350 --> 00:00:04,200
Good afternoon,
my beautiful darling.

2
00:00:04,233 --> 00:00:06,150
Good afternoon, my sweet angel.

3
00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:10,000
-Oh. Well, she's not here?
-No.

4
00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:11,450
Ever since she entered
her third trimester,

5
00:00:11,483 --> 00:00:13,200
her mood swings
have been lethal.

6
00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:15,466
Oh, I know. It's worse than
when Sylvia gave up chocolate.

7
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,133
That was the most unbearable
hour of my life.

8
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:22,150
Oh, here you guys are.

9
00:00:22,183 --> 00:00:25,100
-Are you hiding from me?
-[all] No.

10
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:26,466
Oh, good.

11
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,350
Because I have a little surprise
for our new college man.

12
00:00:30,383 --> 00:00:33,383
-Oh, it's just so exciting.
-It's just Harvard, Fran.

13
00:00:33,416 --> 00:00:36,500
Oh, no, I mean the cake.

14
00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:37,466
The interior is pudding.

15
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:44,830
My son the Harvard man, huh?
Takes me back to my Eton days.

16
00:00:44,116 --> 00:00:48,116
Oh, takes me back
to my eating disorders.

17
00:00:48,150 --> 00:00:51,660
I thought tonight
for a celebratory dinner,
I would make salmon.

18
00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:53,316
Oh, no.

19
00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:56,000
Those poor little salmon,
they spend their whole life

20
00:00:56,330 --> 00:00:58,416
swimming upstream
just to be poached for dinner?

21
00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,300
I was going to barbecue.

22
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,466
Ooh, mesquite?

23
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:04,283
With a teriyaki glaze?

24
00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:07,283
That would be perfect for
Brighton's celebratory dinner.

25
00:01:07,316 --> 00:01:10,400
[sobbing] My baby's leaving.

26
00:01:10,433 --> 00:01:13,183
Who put their finger
in the cake?

27
00:01:13,216 --> 00:01:15,133
[all] You did.

28
00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:17,400
Well, aren't we a bunch
of moody musketeers.

29
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:20,483
Oh, well, I better get to work.

30
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,183
Before I go, darling,
I just wanted to tell you,
you are beautiful.

31
00:01:24,216 --> 00:01:29,660
You're thin, you're 29, and, oh,
the skin on the back
of your hand just snaps

32
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,150
right back like a rubber band
when you pinch it.

33
00:01:33,283 --> 00:01:36,350
Oh, isn't he wonderful?
I love him so much.

34
00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:41,200
And we are so proud of our son
getting into Harvard.

35
00:01:41,233 --> 00:01:44,400
Uh, Fran, I've decided
I don't wanna go to college.

36
00:01:46,366 --> 00:01:47,483
Why?

37
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,500
Well, it's just that
I don't wanna have tests.

38
00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:53,116
I don't wanna have
responsibilities.
I just want a year off.

39
00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:54,416
That's okay, honey.

40
00:01:54,450 --> 00:01:57,400
If you don't wanna go to
college, we're not
gonna make you go.

41
00:01:57,433 --> 00:02:01,100
There's plenty of people
in my family that chose
not to go to college.

42
00:02:01,133 --> 00:02:03,250
-Really?
-Yeah, well, it seemed like
the natural choice

43
00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:05,166
after they chose
not to finish high school.

44
00:02:07,316 --> 00:02:09,450
So you're really cool with me
not going to Harvard?

45
00:02:09,483 --> 00:02:12,100
I'm totally fine.

46
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,333
It's not a problem.

47
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:16,400
Come sit down with me, baby.
We're gonna have some cake.

48
00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:19,450
Now, maybe I'll give you
the piece that says "Harvard!"

49
00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:26,383
Hi, Fran.

50
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:27,466
Bye, Fran.

51
00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:34,433
<i>♪ She was working</i>
<i>In a bridal shop ♪</i>

52
00:02:34,466 --> 00:02:36,133
<i>♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪</i>

53
00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:37,300
<i>♪ Till her boyfriend</i>
<i>Kicked her out ♪</i>

54
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:38,483
<i>♪ In one of those</i>
<i>Crushing scenes ♪</i>

55
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,433
<i>♪ What was she to do?</i>
<i>Where was she to go? ♪</i>

56
00:02:40,466 --> 00:02:43,350
<i>♪ She was out on her fanny ♪</i>

57
00:02:43,383 --> 00:02:45,166
<i>♪ So over the bridge</i>
<i>From Flushing ♪</i>

58
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,000
<i>♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪</i>

59
00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:49,200
<i>♪ She was there to sell make-up</i>
<i>But the father saw more ♪</i>

60
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:51,183
<i>♪ She had style!</i>
<i>She had flair!</i>
<i>She was there ♪</i>

61
00:02:51,216 --> 00:02:52,166
<i>♪ That's how she became ♪</i>

62
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,330
<i>♪ The Nanny ♪</i>

63
00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:57,483
<i>♪ Who would have guessed</i>
<i>That the girl we described ♪</i>

64
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,183
<i>♪ Was just exactly</i>
<i>What the doctor prescribed? ♪</i>

65
00:03:00,216 --> 00:03:01,366
<i>♪ Now, the father</i>
<i>Finds her beguiling ♪</i>

66
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,000
<i>♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪</i>

67
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,233
<i>♪ And the kids</i>
<i>Are actually smiling ♪</i>

68
00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:05,316
<i>♪ Such joie de vivre ♪</i>

69
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:07,160
<i>♪ She's the lady in red ♪</i>

70
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,660
<i>♪ When everybody else</i>
<i>Is wearing tan ♪</i>

71
00:03:11,266 --> 00:03:13,233
<i>♪ The flashy girl</i>
<i>From Flushing ♪</i>

72
00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:14,350
<i>♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪</i>

73
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,400
This is gonna last
you three weeks.

74
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,133
Oh, I just love
getting pampered.

75
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:30,416
I feel like a regular
<i>Princess Caroline In the City.</i>

76
00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:34,660
Oh, excuse me,
could you give me that magazine?

77
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,500
See, my nails are still wet.

78
00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:41,183
Oh, B, thanks so much
for bringing us.

79
00:03:41,216 --> 00:03:43,333
You know,
you can't drive with wet nails.

80
00:03:43,366 --> 00:03:45,316
Oh, that is so weird.

81
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,466
I wonder how that happened.

82
00:03:52,216 --> 00:03:54,116
-So anyway, Fran.
-[hair dryer whirring loudly]

83
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:56,166
-I was thinking
what we would do--
-What?

84
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,216
No, when we get home,
what we're gonna do
is we have to make sure--

85
00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:00,366
-What? What?
-So that-- When we-- Oh, Fran.

86
00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:04,400
What I said was,
when we get home,
we have to make sure

87
00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:07,183
we talk to Dad
about me not going to Harvard.

88
00:04:07,216 --> 00:04:10,000
Oh, honey, what do you think
I'm getting all beautified
here for?

89
00:04:10,330 --> 00:04:12,660
I wanna look pretty
when I tell him
the horrible news.

90
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,100
You know, I can't run
like I used to.

91
00:04:15,216 --> 00:04:17,133
Would you like me
to exfoliate you?

92
00:04:19,266 --> 00:04:22,160
Should this be exciting to me?

93
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:25,830
If you like a woman scraping
dead skin cells off your face.

94
00:04:25,116 --> 00:04:26,450
Oh, so she does touch me.

95
00:04:27,283 --> 00:04:28,283
Oh, yeah.

96
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:31,266
-[Val] Oh, Fran.
-What?

97
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:35,366
I leaned on my wet nails
and I got it all over my face.

98
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,216
-Oh, honey. Right.
-Oh, I'm so stupid.

99
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,316
You know,
next time you gotta remind me,

100
00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:43,416
use flesh-colored nail polish.

101
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:46,200
Hey, any of you's
want your tea leaves read?

102
00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:48,416
Oh, and I had a cup of Sanka.

103
00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:50,116
Oh, I can read that too.

104
00:04:51,483 --> 00:04:54,830
Since when are you a psychic?

105
00:04:54,116 --> 00:04:56,316
Since when do you need to know
my business?

106
00:04:56,350 --> 00:05:00,216
Well, I'm sorry, Libby,
I just didn't know
you were a fortune-teller.

107
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,160
Are you calling me a liar?

108
00:05:03,216 --> 00:05:04,350
Could you do my cup?

109
00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:06,160
Yeah, sure.

110
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,160
Ooh. Oh, never mind,
that's raisin bagel.

111
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,166
[gasps] I am seeing two people
very much in love.

112
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:20,330
-I'm also seeing
a very happy marriage.
-[squeals] To who?

113
00:05:21,316 --> 00:05:25,100
-I'm getting an "F."
-As in "pharmacist"?

114
00:05:25,133 --> 00:05:28,433
Uh, Val, "pharmacist"
begins with a "P," honey.

115
00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:32,366
Yes, but his name is Fred
and that begins with an "F."

116
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,500
Doesn't it?

117
00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,350
Oh, Val, remember
when we were at the pharmacy

118
00:05:37,383 --> 00:05:40,483
the other day getting tweezers?
Fred kept staring at you.

119
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,830
We thought that it was because
you had that Q-tip
stuck in your ear.

120
00:05:44,116 --> 00:05:47,160
But maybe it was love.

121
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:51,160
I am also getting
a semi-attached condo villa
in Phase Four.

122
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,200
-[gasps]
-And lots of babies.

123
00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:56,660
Oh, you're gonna have sex.

124
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,283
What about me? What about me?

125
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:02,150
My psychic powers tell me
you already had sex.

126
00:06:02,183 --> 00:06:04,400
-No, do me. Do me.
-I don't do diet soda.

127
00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:06,333
What, am I a quack?
Sit down. Give me your palm.

128
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,416
Okay.

129
00:06:11,216 --> 00:06:13,350
All right,
what have we go there?

130
00:06:13,383 --> 00:06:17,330
<i>I see you very happy</i>
<i>with your three new kids.</i>

131
00:06:19,383 --> 00:06:22,000
<i>No, no, no, wait.</i>
<i>Make that two.</i>

132
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,166
<i>Things look</i>
<i>really good for you.</i>

133
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,300
<i>Uh-oh.</i>

134
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:34,466
[Fran]<i>Uh-oh?</i>
<i>What's with the "uh-oh"?</i>

135
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,233
I see your husband
with a sexy blond
with great legs.

136
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:42,166
-I'm gonna go blond?
-It ain't you.

137
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,333
Well, if it ain't me, who is it?
What's my husband doing
with a leggy blond?

138
00:06:45,366 --> 00:06:47,466
With piercing blue eyes.

139
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:51,316
I'm... I'm seeing Beverly Hills.

140
00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:53,350
I'm... I'm seeing them
in bed together.

141
00:06:53,383 --> 00:06:58,100
Their arms wrapped around
each other... [chuckles]
Ssss... Oof.

142
00:06:58,133 --> 00:07:00,333
Well, don't you see
anything good
on this hand?

143
00:07:02,216 --> 00:07:04,416
Well, your skin snaps back
like a rubber band.

144
00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:11,366
Darling, don't be ridiculous.

145
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,416
What does that no-good
<i>yenta</i>

146
00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:17,350
My future.

147
00:07:17,383 --> 00:07:21,200
She said Max was gonna have
an affair with a leggy blond.

148
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,300
Oh, my God. You think it's me?

149
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,266
Ma.

150
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,300
I'm sorry, but since
I lost the weight,

151
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,350
-your husband has been
giving me the eye.
-Ugh.

152
00:07:31,383 --> 00:07:34,483
He's just in shock
at how big your head looks now.

153
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:38,233
Thank you.

154
00:07:38,266 --> 00:07:41,100
Ma, she saw them kissing
in Beverly Hills.

155
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:44,160
We can't move to California.

156
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:48,250
Although, on the upside,
when you get a divorce
in California,

157
00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:50,350
you get half of everything.

158
00:07:50,383 --> 00:07:54,500
Particularly, if he leaves you
for someone who's younger.

159
00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:57,330
Ma, she didn't say younger.

160
00:07:57,660 --> 00:07:59,366
What? He's gonna leave you
for someone older?

161
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:02,400
Big head.

162
00:08:04,466 --> 00:08:07,200
Darling, you're putting
your faith in a woman

163
00:08:07,233 --> 00:08:10,433
who sweeps up hair
at the Chatterbox.

164
00:08:10,466 --> 00:08:12,483
I don't know about
that place anymore.

165
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,300
The last time
I had my hair done there,

166
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:18,316
when I got home, I pulled out
the two<i>Reader's Digests</i>

167
00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:23,183
I stuffed in my blouse,
they were from 1994.

168
00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:26,416
I was almost too embarrassed to
put them on my cocktail table.

169
00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:31,333
That story disturbs me
on so many levels.

170
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,383
All I'm saying is,
you are overreacting

171
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:39,466
to that shyster Libby
and her voodoo.

172
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,233
Mmm. Maybe you're right.

173
00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:46,316
I mean, she said that Val
was gonna get married
and there's no way.

174
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,183
[Val] Hi, Fran.

175
00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:51,330
-Val.
-The psychic was right, Fran.

176
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:52,350
You know, Fred the pharmacist.

177
00:08:52,383 --> 00:08:55,660
-Yeah, hi, Fred.
-We're dating.

178
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:57,450
Hi, Fran Sheffield.
How's your welt?
Did it pustulate?

179
00:08:58,350 --> 00:09:00,200
It was a small red mark.

180
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:02,383
No, it was like an éclair
was sitting in there.

181
00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:06,483
-When did you two start dating?
-Today.

182
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,660
But I loved her
from the first time I saw her.

183
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:12,300
Standing catty-corner
to the Metamucil display.

184
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:15,300
You know, the orange-flavored
laxatives you buy,
Fran Sheffield?

185
00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:17,200
Shh!

186
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,150
Ma.

187
00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:22,233
Ma, my life is over.

188
00:09:22,266 --> 00:09:25,133
The psychic was right about Val.

189
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:28,166
And she's right about me.

190
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,166
Oh, darling, you're not
thinking straight.

191
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,400
You're too wound up.

192
00:09:31,433 --> 00:09:35,160
What psychic wouldn't predict
that Dumb and Dumber

193
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,500
would eventually
find each other?

194
00:09:49,266 --> 00:09:52,316
This is one boring-ass
baby shower.

195
00:09:55,233 --> 00:09:57,383
Yetta, Fran's baby shower
is next week.

196
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:01,283
Oy, I can't believe I missed it.

197
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:05,250
Can I at least see the baby?

198
00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:07,283
Whoa!

199
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:13,116
Look at you, walking already.

200
00:10:13,150 --> 00:10:18,333
Oh, you're gonna be way too big
for these OshKosh B'Gosh.

201
00:10:22,316 --> 00:10:24,466
Oh, Niles,

202
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,433
how am I going to figure out
who my husband
is leaving me for?

203
00:10:28,466 --> 00:10:31,500
He's not leaving you for...

204
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:33,350
Why don't you go back
to the psychic
and ask for details?

205
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,483
Like a name.

206
00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:38,333
I can't. They fired her.

207
00:10:38,366 --> 00:10:40,150
Do you know that she predicted

208
00:10:40,183 --> 00:10:44,160
$138 would be missing
from the cash register?

209
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:47,200
What she neglected to predict
was they would search
through her purse.

210
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,433
-Oh, why is he straying?
-Oh...

211
00:10:52,466 --> 00:10:55,183
He's not straying. Believe me.

212
00:10:55,216 --> 00:10:58,500
If he didn't leave
when he met your mother,
he ain't going nowhere.

213
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:04,830
Great news. Network called
and they decided to
pick up my pilot.

214
00:11:04,116 --> 00:11:06,660
-Ah!
-Yeah, they want me
to have the announcement

215
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,266
-tomorrow at
the Beverly Hills Hotel.
-Oh, God.

216
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,300
Is that in Beverly Hills?

217
00:11:11,233 --> 00:11:14,000
Oh, sweetheart, don't worry.

218
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,450
I'll only be gone a few days.

219
00:11:15,483 --> 00:11:17,416
Don't leave me!

220
00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:19,150
I'm begging you!

221
00:11:19,183 --> 00:11:23,330
Think of the twins. The twins.

222
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:26,116
Darling, I'm not leaving you.

223
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:28,250
I love you.
I'll call you tonight.

224
00:11:31,283 --> 00:11:32,400
Oh, God.

225
00:11:32,433 --> 00:11:34,330
Niles, this is it.

226
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,133
My worst fears
are being realized.

227
00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:40,100
He's gonna wind up in the arms
of a sexy blue-eyed blond.

228
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,300
All right, so the psychic
was right about Val.

229
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,216
But you have nothing
to worry about.

230
00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:47,283
He's not going to be with
some sexy blue-eyed blond
in Beverly Hills.

231
00:11:47,316 --> 00:11:50,216
-He's gonna be with--
-Maxwell, did you
get my carry on?

232
00:11:51,366 --> 00:11:53,450
[both] Miss Babcock.

233
00:11:57,660 --> 00:12:00,660
I don't understand.
Why would she leave me for him?

234
00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:08,133
What I don't understand is
why he would leave me for her.

235
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:10,216
[imitates Fran] I don't know.

236
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,830
I knew it was
too good to be true.

237
00:12:14,116 --> 00:12:17,150
I was finally getting me some
and he took my some away.

238
00:12:18,383 --> 00:12:20,500
You know, I'm sorry.

239
00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:24,316
I mean, I know I am not blond,
but I'm kind of leggy.

240
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:28,660
Aren't I? I can't see anymore.

241
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:32,330
Well, I don't know about you,
but I am not going to
take this sitting down.

242
00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:35,330
Well, what are we going to do?
Follow them to California?

243
00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:37,283
Listen to me listening to you
and this silly psychic.

244
00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:40,350
This is ridiculous.
Your hormones are going crazy.

245
00:12:40,383 --> 00:12:42,350
Your mood swings
are all over the place.

246
00:12:42,383 --> 00:12:44,150
Your ankles are so swollen
you can't even...

247
00:12:44,183 --> 00:12:46,133
Oh, my God.
He is going to
leave you for her.

248
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:50,266
Well, that does it.
We're going to California.

249
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:53,483
And I'm packing something
really cute, so she'll
like me better than him.

250
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:55,383
Ooh, I'll take one of his suits.

251
00:12:55,416 --> 00:12:58,466
Gee, do you think that if I find
a really good push-up bra,

252
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,416
I could pass the twins off
as cleavage?

253
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,483
Uh, excuse me,
I'm Mrs. Maxwell Sheffield.

254
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,450
I lost my key and I need
a new one to get into our room.

255
00:13:11,483 --> 00:13:17,316
-Do you have proof that
you're his wife?
-[scoffs] Hello.

256
00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:20,350
Very subtly look over
your left shoulder
and tell me if that's--

257
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,150
Hello, I'm Fran Drescher.
I'm checking in.

258
00:13:25,350 --> 00:13:27,400
Nails, nails, nails.

259
00:13:28,316 --> 00:13:30,366
Hi.

260
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:35,266
Excuse me, Miss Fran Drescher,
but I am your biggest fan.

261
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,450
Oh, thank you.

262
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:41,400
My God, you really
do talk like that.

263
00:13:41,433 --> 00:13:43,266
Who would make this up?

264
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,483
So I see you're into
the flat hair in real life.

265
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,133
Yeah, it's not for you.

266
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,266
Oh, you think
it makes me look fat?

267
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,150
You know, the bigger the hair,
the smaller the hips.

268
00:13:57,183 --> 00:13:59,660
She learned that from your show.

269
00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:02,300
Tell me, what's the butler like?
Is he as funny in person?

270
00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:05,216
I think he steals
the whole show.

271
00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:11,160
Can I interject? I thought
you were so fabulous in
<i>My Cousin Vinny.</i>

272
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,416
Where do you keep your Oscar?

273
00:14:12,450 --> 00:14:15,216
At Marisa Tomei's house.

274
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,233
Are you two here on vacation?

275
00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:20,830
Oh, no.
We're here spying on her husband

276
00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:22,133
who's having an affair
with my girlfriend.

277
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:26,160
Mmm. We did that
very same story this season.

278
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,100
Really? I didn't see that.
When was it on?

279
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:33,450
Now. And don't forget to watch
the series finale next week.

280
00:14:33,483 --> 00:14:36,300
Oh, I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

281
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:40,233
Unless, of course,
that's the night
I'm having my twins.

282
00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:55,166
[whispering]
Oh, look at him, all by himself.

283
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,330
I feel like such an idiot.

284
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,100
Oh, that Niles.

285
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,660
He's so paranoid.

286
00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:05,330
Honey?

287
00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:07,350
Honey?

288
00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,160
[screaming]

289
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,400
What the hell are you doing
in my bed?

290
00:15:20,433 --> 00:15:23,166
What the hell are you doing
in my husband's bed?

291
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,183
Oh, I can't believe
the psychic was right.

292
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,350
How can he do this to me after
all we've been through to--

293
00:15:29,383 --> 00:15:31,330
Meanwhile, where the hell is he?

294
00:15:33,116 --> 00:15:34,416
We switched rooms.

295
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,266
Chester likes a terrace.

296
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,400
Oh, really?

297
00:15:37,433 --> 00:15:39,483
Well, where is little Chester?

298
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,400
Oh, I left him with Max.
Sometimes that dog
can be a pain in the ass.

299
00:15:43,483 --> 00:15:45,233
Why did you bring him?

300
00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:48,660
Because he's my baby.

301
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:52,830
This is so weird.

302
00:15:52,116 --> 00:15:54,483
I mean, the psychic told me
that Max was gonna end up in bed

303
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:59,160
with a sexy, blue-eyed blond
in California.

304
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,316
Your psychic thinks I'm sexy?

305
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,466
Something's wrong here.
I mean, besides the fact that

306
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,500
I just flew 3000 miles
to end up in bed with you.

307
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,450
Nanny Fine, I can understand
how you might not
trust me with Maxwell.

308
00:16:13,483 --> 00:16:17,150
I mean, after all,
there were years of
unrequited love

309
00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:20,160
and unfulfilled fantasies and...

310
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,350
Oh, shameless come-ons.

311
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:28,433
But eventually, he came to see
that he didn't have a chance
in hell with me.

312
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:34,483
So I'm guessing there's only
food left in the mini bar.

313
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,200
Nanny Fine,
you have nothing to worry about.

314
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,000
I found my man

315
00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:45,350
and I am completely and totally

316
00:16:46,383 --> 00:16:50,133
and multiply satisfied.

317
00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:56,316
Really?

318
00:16:56,350 --> 00:17:02,000
That is the joy of being
with a man who lives
to serve others, baby.

319
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:05,830
[squealing]

320
00:17:16,183 --> 00:17:17,366
[whispers] Hey, Chester.

321
00:17:31,830 --> 00:17:33,500
Somebody needs a waxing.

322
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,350
Let go.

323
00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:53,266
You are not in Hollywood
two minutes,
and look at you already.

324
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,150
Would you mind telling me
what the hell the two of you
are doing in here?

325
00:17:56,183 --> 00:18:00,830
My psychic saw you
in Beverly Hills, in bed,

326
00:18:00,116 --> 00:18:02,233
wrapped in the arms
of a leggy blue-eyed blond.

327
00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:04,450
-[gasps] It's you.
-It's me.

328
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:07,160
Oh, thank God.

329
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,200
-Your psychic thinks I'm leggy.
-Get out.

330
00:18:10,233 --> 00:18:12,300
You know, it wouldn't kill you
to clip your toenails.

331
00:18:14,216 --> 00:18:18,333
Hi, honey.
That's a funny coincidence.

332
00:18:18,366 --> 00:18:20,383
I love California.
What do you think of it?

333
00:18:20,416 --> 00:18:22,133
I find it arid.
My hair doesn't--

334
00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:24,283
You flew 3000 miles

335
00:18:24,316 --> 00:18:28,160
because some silly psychic
told you I was
about to have an affair?

336
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:29,316
Well, she wasn't totally wrong.

337
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:32,416
You were in bed
with a leggy, blue-eyed blond.

338
00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:35,250
He scrubs my toilets.

339
00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:38,300
I'm sorry, honey.
I know that Libby was wrong.

340
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:41,416
But if a sexy, blue-eyed
blond woman did come on to you,

341
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:44,150
you would tell her
that you're madly in love

342
00:18:44,183 --> 00:18:48,166
with your big, fat, miserable,
moody wife, wouldn't you?

343
00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:54,166
-Well, of course, I would.
-Mm-hmm-mmm...

344
00:18:56,450 --> 00:18:58,316
You'd tell her I was fat?

345
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,183
Well, it's just, you know,

346
00:19:03,216 --> 00:19:04,366
pregnant describes it.

347
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,283
Fat, I don't get.

348
00:19:06,316 --> 00:19:08,150
I'm not fat, technically.

349
00:19:13,416 --> 00:19:16,116
Um, Daddy, you remember
that time in your life

350
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,400
when you wanted to take
some time off
before you went to college?

351
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,366
No.

352
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,660
Well, that's where we differ.

353
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:25,366
Just what exactly
are you trying to tell me?

354
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,450
That you don't want to
go to college?

355
00:19:28,483 --> 00:19:32,200
Yeah. I think I need to take
some time off
to figure out who I am.

356
00:19:32,233 --> 00:19:34,830
You're Brighton Sheffield,
Harvard freshman.

357
00:19:34,116 --> 00:19:36,116
Now you know.
See you spring break.

358
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:39,133
-Dad, I really need to do this.
-Absolutely not!

359
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,283
Come on, Dad.
What did your father say

360
00:19:40,316 --> 00:19:42,500
when you told him you wanted to
get into theater?

361
00:19:42,830 --> 00:19:43,216
Absolutely not.

362
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:46,216
-And did you listen to him?
-Absolutely... not?

363
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:49,300
-But I still went to college.
-Yeah, well, I'm not saying
I'm never gonna go.

364
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,330
I just want
a year off to travel.

365
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:52,433
I wanna backpack
through Germany.

366
00:19:52,466 --> 00:19:54,333
I wanna see
the ancient city of Rome.

367
00:19:54,366 --> 00:19:58,266
I wanna go to Paris
and eat cheese.

368
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,450
How do you propose to pay
for this cheese?

369
00:20:04,183 --> 00:20:06,133
-Well, I can get a job.
-Oh, really?

370
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:07,333
And how do you
propose to do that

371
00:20:07,366 --> 00:20:09,333
when you don't even
speak the language?

372
00:20:15,116 --> 00:20:18,216
You're gonna do mime
on the streets of Paris?

373
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,483
You see how good I am?
You got it like that.

374
00:20:21,283 --> 00:20:23,133
Oh, my God!

375
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:26,216
Do you know this? Do you know
your son isn't going to Harvard?

376
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:29,330
-No.
-Well, sure you did, Fran.

377
00:20:37,183 --> 00:20:39,233
Come on, sweetie,
let's talk about this.

378
00:20:39,266 --> 00:20:42,330
I know that you're upset.

379
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:44,433
But listen, he's just a kid.
What do you want him to do?

380
00:20:44,466 --> 00:20:47,450
Twenty years from now, look back
on this time with regret?

381
00:20:47,483 --> 00:20:51,216
Yes. I just don't want him
to make a mistake.

382
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,466
But it will be his mistake.

383
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,116
Look, didn't a lot of people say
you were making a mistake

384
00:20:57,150 --> 00:21:00,216
when you hired me, but that
turned out good, didn't it?

385
00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:02,400
It turned out good, didn't it?

386
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:08,383
Oh, yes, of course, it did.
Beyond my wildest dreams.

387
00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:11,466
Sweetie, he'll be fine.

388
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,350
He's a smart boy.

389
00:21:13,383 --> 00:21:15,483
He's got a good head
on his shoulders.

390
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,416
Would you happen to know
exactly what size that head is?

391
00:21:19,450 --> 00:21:22,316
-Why?
-Well, when he was
going to Harvard

392
00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:25,133
I was gonna show him my support
by buying him a Porsche.

393
00:21:25,166 --> 00:21:26,400
Now I suppose I have to buy him
one of those berets

394
00:21:26,433 --> 00:21:28,150
with the funny ball on top.

395
00:21:29,116 --> 00:21:30,416
Oh, sweetie.

396
00:21:32,466 --> 00:21:37,133
So tell me, where do you see me
20 years from now?

397
00:21:39,116 --> 00:21:42,166
I see you
with a man in New York.

398
00:21:43,116 --> 00:21:46,660
And this young guy in Paris.

399
00:21:47,216 --> 00:21:50,330
And a jazz saxophonist
in Chicago.

400
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:53,333
That sounds good.

401
00:21:55,333 --> 00:21:57,160
Are you an organ donor?

402
00:22:07,830 --> 00:22:09,100
[theme music playing]

403
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,660
[theme music ends]