1
00:00:05,166 --> 00:00:09,116
Oh, Val, I am sitting on
a secret for over a week now
2
00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:12,500
and I cannot tell a living soul.
3
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,183
[sighs]
4
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,383
-Good cake.
-Niles and Ms. Babcock
are having an affair.
5
00:00:22,416 --> 00:00:24,500
[gasps]
6
00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:26,350
-With who?
-With each other.
7
00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:29,300
So where are they now?
8
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,400
Well, he was called out of town
9
00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:33,283
for this big family reunion
in London
10
00:00:33,316 --> 00:00:36,133
and she said she'd take him
to the airport in the limo.
11
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,316
In the back,
12
00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:39,416
because all of a sudden
she was in need
13
00:00:39,450 --> 00:00:42,350
of duty-free L'air Du Temps.
14
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,150
Hello, hello.
15
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:56,366
-Hi, Ms. Babcock.
-Hi, Ms. Babcock.
16
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,830
Um, Ms. Babcock,
17
00:01:03,116 --> 00:01:05,350
did Niles get off okay?
18
00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:12,133
Yes.
19
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,383
Oh, Nanny Fine,
would you please tell Maxwell
20
00:01:16,416 --> 00:01:19,400
that there's a crack in
the privacy glass in the limo.
21
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:22,250
It looks to me
like someone's heel
went through it.
22
00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:31,283
Oy, the limo.
23
00:01:31,316 --> 00:01:33,316
Oh, I feel so bad
for Ms. Babcock.
24
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:36,283
These are the moments
that you wanna share
with someone close to you.
25
00:01:36,316 --> 00:01:38,183
-Yeah.
-You know, like your mother.
26
00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:40,433
Ma.
27
00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:48,216
Maggie, I have something
to tell you.
28
00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:51,316
I got that modeling campaign
in Japan.
29
00:01:51,350 --> 00:01:53,433
Oh, congratulations.
30
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:00,433
What I'm about to say
your parents aren't gonna like.
31
00:02:04,216 --> 00:02:06,133
But I have to leave
in less than five days
32
00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:07,466
and I can't stand
the thought of us
33
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,250
being apart for a whole year.
34
00:02:10,266 --> 00:02:11,300
So, Maggie...
35
00:02:12,316 --> 00:02:13,450
will you marry me?
36
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,166
-Yes!
-No!
37
00:02:17,233 --> 00:02:20,660
[theme song playing]
38
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,350
♪She was working
In a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
39
00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:24,216
♪Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out
40
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:26,330
♪In one of those
Crushing scenes
41
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,160
♪What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
42
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,316
♪She was out on her fanny
43
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,366
♪So over the bridge
From Flushing
To the Sheffield's door
44
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,116
♪She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more
45
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,200
♪She had style! She had
flair!
She was there!
46
00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:41,483
♪That's how she became
The Nanny
47
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,000
♪Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
48
00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:46,383
♪Was just exactly
What the doctor
prescribed?
49
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,333
♪Now, the father
Finds her beguiling
50
00:02:48,366 --> 00:02:49,466
♪Watch out C.C.!
51
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,200
♪And the kids
Are actually smiling
52
00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:52,266
♪Such joie de vivre
53
00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:53,483
♪She's the lady in red
54
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,000
♪When everybody else
Is wearing tan
55
00:02:58,216 --> 00:03:00,133
♪The flashy girl
From Flushing
56
00:03:00,166 --> 00:03:01,283
♪The Nanny named Fran!
57
00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,466
This boy just asked my daughter
to marry him.
58
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,183
What do you mean "yes"?
59
00:03:08,216 --> 00:03:10,116
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
60
00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:12,166
I didn't mean to say yes
before you.
61
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,660
It's just that it's in my DNA.
62
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:18,116
I hear a marriage proposal,
I have to accept.
63
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:21,233
Look, Margaret is entirely
too young to get married.
64
00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:25,830
Why? I was just about her age
when we got married.
65
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:33,233
Well, all right,
I should have been her age
when we got married.
66
00:03:33,266 --> 00:03:36,150
Excuse me, but this is
a very important moment
in my life.
67
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,266
Could we have privacy?
68
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,433
-No.
-Yes.
69
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,830
Fine.
70
00:03:41,116 --> 00:03:43,233
I love you, Michael,
and I would love to marry you.
71
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,366
Oh, my God.
72
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,216
-Oh, my God.
-What's wrong?
73
00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:49,450
Come see the ring my son-in-law,
the Jewish model,
74
00:03:49,483 --> 00:03:50,483
gave my daughter.
75
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,166
Oh, my God.
76
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,166
No one's getting married.
77
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,500
You're getting married?
78
00:03:56,830 --> 00:04:00,233
Oy, I have never been this thin
in a wedding photo before.
79
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:04,160
How fast can you do it?
80
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:07,500
We got five days
to plan the wedding.
81
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,283
There is no wedding.
82
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:14,160
Are ostrich feathers
politically correct after dark?
83
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,366
-Excuse me.
-Oh, look at that ring.
84
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,450
-We have to get dresses.
-I don't wanna sit
next to her cousin.
85
00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:20,283
Excuse me.
86
00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:23,350
I haven't finished here.
87
00:04:23,383 --> 00:04:27,000
Oh, sorry, honey. Keep talking.
We're listening.
88
00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:29,000
-What--
-I think that we should have
89
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:31,200
a make-your-own
Belgian waffle bar.
90
00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:33,660
-Is that perfect?
-Ooh!
91
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,450
What are you talking about?
92
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:38,100
There isn't gonna be a wedding.
Will you come back here
and discuss this?
93
00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:40,133
Where are you going?
Get back here.
94
00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:42,330
I have not finished with this.
95
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,330
What's all the noise about?
96
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,000
I'm marrying your sister.
But actually, Fran said yes
97
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,466
and your grandmother left
with the ring on,
98
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,150
and no one's letting
your father talk.
99
00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:56,266
Welcome to the mishpachah, bro.
100
00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:59,283
[music playing]
101
00:05:02,266 --> 00:05:06,133
Margaret, you haven't even been
seeing this boy for a year.
102
00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:09,433
How about a cupid fountain
that pees mimosa?
103
00:05:09,466 --> 00:05:11,100
Ooh!
104
00:05:11,133 --> 00:05:14,500
Oh, the Schwartzburgs
had that at the bris.
105
00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:15,266
It was very unique.
106
00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:17,400
[sighs]
107
00:05:17,433 --> 00:05:20,316
-I need some air.
-You know, that doesn't work.
Give it here.
108
00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,166
Dad, I don't understand.
109
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,330
First you're upset
because Michael and I
wanna move in together
110
00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:27,166
and then you're upset
because we wanna get married?
111
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,300
Excuse me.
112
00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:30,166
-Val?
-Uh-huh.
113
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,400
I'm a little bit nauseous.
114
00:05:31,433 --> 00:05:34,500
Do you have any
soda crackers or anything?
115
00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,150
Well, I got some Cap'n Crunch
in the glove compartment.
116
00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:39,283
-Honey, could you get some?
-Oh, here, use this.
117
00:05:39,316 --> 00:05:42,500
-I thought you said
it didn't work.
-On the window,
118
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:44,250
but it's perfect to pry open
the glove compartment.
119
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:48,433
How about a caricaturist
for the wedding?
120
00:05:48,466 --> 00:05:50,333
Oh, that's so tacky, Ma.
121
00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:53,233
Can we just stick with
the cupid peeing?
122
00:05:53,266 --> 00:05:56,116
Well, I'm sorry, but I don't see
a box of Cap'n Crunch in here.
123
00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:58,830
Oh, no, they're not in a box.
They're loose.
124
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,116
Here. Take these.
125
00:06:03,150 --> 00:06:06,330
Now, I've had enough.
I am the head of this household.
126
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:09,160
And as such,
I have a say in the future
of my eldest daughter.
127
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,416
This will not be rushed into.
128
00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:14,366
There will be no wedding.
End of discussion.
129
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:18,433
Oh, you are going to make
such a beautiful bride.
130
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:26,660
This is a knockoff of the dress
Melissa Rivers almost bought.
131
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,330
[together] Ooh!
132
00:06:29,150 --> 00:06:31,316
Oh, Fran, what are we gonna do
about Daddy?
133
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,500
He was so upset when Val
dropped him off at the theater.
134
00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:35,266
Oh, sweetie.
135
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,450
It's been my experience
with your father
136
00:06:37,483 --> 00:06:39,366
that he just needs time
to think about it
137
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,400
and then he changes his mind.
138
00:06:41,433 --> 00:06:43,450
Fathers are always devastated
139
00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:45,383
when their little girls
get married.
140
00:06:45,416 --> 00:06:47,300
But your father was happy.
141
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,216
I said little girls.
142
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:53,350
[sighs]
143
00:06:53,383 --> 00:06:55,000
-Fran?
-Yeah?
144
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:58,350
I remember the first time
you brought Maggie in.
145
00:06:58,383 --> 00:07:01,450
You were just the nanny
and I was working here
behind the counter.
146
00:07:01,483 --> 00:07:04,183
-Yeah.
-Now you're married,
147
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,300
you got a whole family
148
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,383
and I work at a doughnut shop
149
00:07:08,416 --> 00:07:11,200
six blocks closer
to the bus stop.
150
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,266
When you wish upon a star.
151
00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:23,166
It's so fancy.
Everyone will look at me.
152
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,330
So? They'll think
you're a beautiful girl.
153
00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:29,660
I don't know.
I'm not good at this
like you are.
154
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,216
Honey, that's what I'm here for.
155
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,416
What do you think?
You turn 14 and boom,
156
00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,166
you've got the savoir faire
and sophistication
157
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,450
of a woman of my years
and experience?
158
00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:41,416
Look, when I was 14...
159
00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:43,333
Oh, go try it on.
160
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,183
Who knew this job would be
so demanding?
161
00:07:48,216 --> 00:07:50,300
Please, I'm exhausted.
162
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:55,200
Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?
163
00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:57,366
I'm just so happy
164
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,466
that I got married before her.
165
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,330
Oh. Sure. Yeah.
166
00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:06,830
Do you think it would take away
from the bride if I wore this?
167
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:11,133
[music playing]
168
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,166
Hi, sweetie.
169
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,350
I knew you were upset,
170
00:08:20,383 --> 00:08:23,333
so I made you
a little chocolate pudding.
171
00:08:24,266 --> 00:08:25,383
You made it?
172
00:08:25,416 --> 00:08:28,183
Well, I made it to Zabar's
before they closed.
173
00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:31,433
Oh, sweetie.
174
00:08:31,466 --> 00:08:35,133
You have no idea
how your disapproving
of the wedding
175
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,483
upsets Maggie.
176
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,350
I mean, can you imagine
how upset I would be
177
00:08:39,383 --> 00:08:43,150
if my parents disapproved of me
marrying you?
178
00:08:43,183 --> 00:08:45,330
I mean, in a world gone mad.
179
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,283
Yes, but it just doesn't seem
right to me.
180
00:08:48,316 --> 00:08:50,433
I mean, she's not ready.
181
00:08:50,466 --> 00:08:52,183
Well, it seems right to her.
182
00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:54,433
And if you would just
stop yelling at her
183
00:08:54,466 --> 00:08:56,366
and try listening to her,
184
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,830
I think that you would know
what it feels like.
185
00:08:59,116 --> 00:09:01,450
I can't. I can't talk to her.
186
00:09:01,483 --> 00:09:04,830
She'll just look at me
with those eyes of hers
187
00:09:04,116 --> 00:09:05,416
and I can't refuse her anything.
188
00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:07,300
Honey.
189
00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:09,466
That's exactly what
we're counting on.
190
00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:16,166
Oh, hi, honey.
Look who's out here.
191
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,300
Sweetie, why don't you sit down,
talk to your father
192
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,416
and I'm gonna go
check on dinner.
193
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:23,316
Gracie, how's it coming?
194
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,350
Daddy, I know you're upset,
195
00:09:29,383 --> 00:09:31,316
but I don't think
you really understand
196
00:09:31,350 --> 00:09:33,400
how Michael and I
feel about each other.
197
00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:36,100
Sweetheart, how can you be sure?
198
00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:38,250
You haven't known him
long enough.
199
00:09:38,283 --> 00:09:41,150
Didn't you know
the moment you saw Fran?
200
00:09:41,183 --> 00:09:44,416
Yes, but we both wanted to wait
the proper amount of time.
201
00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:47,100
Fran wanted to wait?
202
00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:52,300
Dad, why wait when you know?
203
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:55,160
I mean, it's like
when you read a script
204
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,466
and you just know that
it's gonna be a hit.
205
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,500
I mean, except for when
you passed onCats...
206
00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:03,416
-because that was kind of--
-Yes, yes. All right,
no need to rehash.
207
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:09,500
Well, Daddy, can't you see
that Michael is myCats?
208
00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:13,160
Please, just don't let me pass
on this one.
209
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,316
[music playing]
210
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,116
You're really in love,
aren't you?
211
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,450
So much.
212
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,216
You know, I love you too, Daddy.
213
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,483
And I love you, sweetheart.
214
00:10:36,660 --> 00:10:38,350
And you're gonna make
a beautiful bride.
215
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:41,366
[music continues]
216
00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:54,416
Thank you for inviting me
to your wedding, Maggie.
217
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,830
Yetta, I'm--
218
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,433
[mumbles]
219
00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:03,266
Did you hear about Ms. Babcock
and the male maid?
220
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,216
What are you talking about?
221
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,233
Well, Franny and her husband
walked in on them
222
00:11:10,266 --> 00:11:14,000
when they were doing
the horizontal hora.
223
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:17,166
Where? Kitchen, closet,
stairway, limo?
224
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,216
Walmart?
225
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,300
Walmart, huh?
226
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:26,383
Well, if they dig the danger
of getting caught,
227
00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:30,233
they should try the aluminum
sheds at Home Depot.
228
00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:40,266
Fran, everything looks
so beautiful.
229
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,183
It's exactly how I pictured it.
230
00:11:42,216 --> 00:11:44,433
Oh, sweetie,
remember all those times
231
00:11:44,466 --> 00:11:46,250
you'd come down these stairs
232
00:11:46,283 --> 00:11:49,250
holding the flowers
from the foyer,
233
00:11:49,283 --> 00:11:52,150
making believe you were a bride?
234
00:11:52,183 --> 00:11:53,350
That was you, Fran.
235
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,333
Niles. They saw us.
236
00:11:58,366 --> 00:12:01,660
No. No. No.
237
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,400
No, what does it matter where?
238
00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:05,316
The important thing is
when you get back,
239
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,300
I need to pick up something
at Home Depot.
240
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:11,133
-[bell dings]
-Oh, honey, that's Michael.
241
00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:13,660
You can't let him see you
before the wedding.
242
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,366
-It's bad luck.
Go put some makeup on.
-It's on.
243
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,133
Well, put some more.
You're taking pictures
with my family.
244
00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:20,383
You're gonna disappear next to
the cast of Ringling Bros.
245
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:25,466
-Hi, sweetie.
-Hey.
246
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,660
[kisses]
247
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:28,483
Let me take your coat.
Come on in.
248
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,160
Hello, Dad.
249
00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:35,383
Hello, son,
250
00:12:35,416 --> 00:12:38,333
who's taking my daughter away.
251
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:41,166
I just wanna let you know that
I love your daughter very much.
252
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,450
I am gonna take
such good care of her.
253
00:12:43,483 --> 00:12:45,333
I'm sure you will.
254
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:48,350
I've always dreamt
of having my daughter
marry an underpants model.
255
00:12:50,466 --> 00:12:53,000
Oh, look. "Mr. and Mrs. Brolin."
256
00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:54,350
Yeah, it's my cousin James.
257
00:12:54,383 --> 00:12:56,200
James Brolin?
258
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,233
Oh, boy, if his wife's name
is Barbra,
259
00:12:58,266 --> 00:13:01,000
they can really have fun
with that.
260
00:13:01,330 --> 00:13:03,133
His wife's name is Barbra.
261
00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,100
Oh, do they really have fun
with that?
262
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,466
I don't know,
they just got married.
263
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:11,483
-In July?
-Yeah.
264
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,416
-In Malibu, California?
-Yeah.
265
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:16,200
-Were her photos in People?
-Uh-huh.
266
00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:19,160
-And they're coming here?
-In, like, 10 minutes.
267
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,116
They wanted to get here early
'cause they have to leave early.
268
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,300
She's got a 9:00 flight.
269
00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:26,200
[gasps] Oh, my God.
270
00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:27,433
Oh, my daughter
is marrying a boy
271
00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:29,383
whose cousin
is married to Barbra.
272
00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:32,116
My dreams are finally
coming true.
273
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:35,160
I'm going to be a Streisand.
274
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,183
Maxwell.
275
00:13:38,216 --> 00:13:40,466
-Maxwell.
-What, darling?
276
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,250
Barbra Streisand
is coming to my house and...
277
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:46,350
-And...
-And what, darling?
278
00:13:46,383 --> 00:13:49,500
I think I'm going into labor.
279
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:50,483
What? Oh, my God.
280
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,433
Someone, pack a suitcase.
Quick. It's time.
281
00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:55,500
Sweetheart, we have to get you
to a hospital.
282
00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:57,233
No. No. The pain is not that...
283
00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:59,283
[groaning]
284
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,300
Bad.
285
00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:04,416
No, darling, we're going
to the hospital.
286
00:14:04,450 --> 00:14:06,350
-No. No. I don't wanna go.
-Come on.
287
00:14:06,383 --> 00:14:08,000
-I don't wanna go.
-Come on.
288
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:11,660
I'll have them over here.
It'll be fine.
289
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,330
Please. Honey, not today.
290
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:16,416
Barbra's married to Dr. Kiley
fromMarcus Welby.
291
00:14:16,450 --> 00:14:18,000
He'll know what to do.
292
00:14:19,366 --> 00:14:21,830
All right, I got her makeup bag
293
00:14:21,116 --> 00:14:23,183
but someone else is gonna have
to get her clothes.
294
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:35,100
Yetta, would you let
everyone know that
Fran's doing just fine.
295
00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:36,383
The doctor's in
with her right now.
296
00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:38,216
It turns out
it was a false alarm.
297
00:14:39,483 --> 00:14:40,466
Fran.
298
00:14:42,183 --> 00:14:43,266
She's pregnant.
299
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,366
Yes, well, of course
I'm the father.
300
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,266
Well, because I just know,
that's how.
301
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,000
Yetta, would you put someone
else on the phone, please?
302
00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:54,283
Mrs. Sheffield, it seems you had
303
00:14:54,316 --> 00:14:57,266
some unusually strong
Braxton Hicks contractions.
304
00:14:57,300 --> 00:15:00,266
It's very common for women
over 35 under stress.
305
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,316
Have you been stressed
about anything recently?
306
00:15:02,350 --> 00:15:06,000
You mean, besides the fact
that you think I'm over 35?
307
00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:09,283
Nothing to worry about.
You're in no danger.
308
00:15:09,316 --> 00:15:11,150
But you do seem
a little agitated.
309
00:15:11,183 --> 00:15:12,466
Yeah, well, you would be too
310
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,366
if Barbra Streisand
was at your house
at this very moment
311
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,830
and had to leave
in less than two hours.
312
00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:19,200
Who?
313
00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:22,000
Oh, my God.
314
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,133
Darling, darling, what is it?
315
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:26,283
He does not know
who Barbra Streisand is.
316
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,233
Sweetheart,
I've just spoken to your mother.
317
00:15:30,266 --> 00:15:32,830
The guests are gonna
enjoy their dinner
318
00:15:32,116 --> 00:15:34,183
but we're gonna postpone
the ceremony until tomorrow.
319
00:15:34,216 --> 00:15:37,366
But what about Barbra?
What about Barbra?
320
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,400
She's enjoying herself
thoroughly.
321
00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,250
She's singing.
322
00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:43,333
Barbra Streisand is singing
in my house?
323
00:15:43,366 --> 00:15:45,500
Mrs. Sheffield, I'm sorry,
324
00:15:45,830 --> 00:15:47,000
but you've got to
remain here overnight.
325
00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:49,283
But you said
that I wasn't in any danger.
326
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,500
I want to play it safe.
I'd prefer if you stay
off your feet.
327
00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:54,350
You know, the doctor's
absolutely right, sweetheart.
328
00:15:54,383 --> 00:15:56,483
What you need is
a calming environment.
329
00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:01,283
What could be more calming than
Streisand singing 'Evergreen'?
330
00:16:01,316 --> 00:16:05,330
'Evergreen.'
That's Barbra Streisand.
331
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,100
My uncle's her dentist
in California.
332
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,133
I've met her.
333
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:11,200
Oh, my God.
334
00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:13,400
It's six degrees of aggravation.
335
00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:16,400
Okay, he's gone.
336
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:19,300
-Get my dress, get my purse.
-No. Darling, darling,
no, no, no.
337
00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:22,283
I want you in that bed.
338
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,000
You know, honey,
339
00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,433
if you said that ordinarily,
it would be a big turn-on.
340
00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:29,483
But right now,
get out of my way.
341
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,350
Sweetheart, you'll just have to
see Barbra another time.
342
00:16:32,383 --> 00:16:34,250
Come on, you've waited
this long.
343
00:16:34,283 --> 00:16:36,333
What you need right now
is to stay calm
344
00:16:36,366 --> 00:16:38,116
and not get over excited.
345
00:16:38,150 --> 00:16:40,166
-But, honey--
-No buts.
346
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,133
-I want you to stay in that bed.
-But, Max--
347
00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:44,830
Do you understand me?
348
00:16:45,166 --> 00:16:46,233
Yes.
349
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:48,316
And you know I'm right?
350
00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,400
-Yes.
-Yes.
351
00:16:52,433 --> 00:16:57,216
I'm sorry, honey.
I know that I'm acting childish.
352
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,350
I'll spend the night here
like they want me to.
353
00:17:00,383 --> 00:17:03,150
And I'll be right here
by your side.
354
00:17:03,183 --> 00:17:06,333
Oh, sweetie, I love you.
You're such a good husband.
355
00:17:06,366 --> 00:17:08,300
You're so busy
taking care of me.
356
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:10,483
Meanwhile, when was
the last time you even ate?
357
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,116
Oh, I don't know.
I had some breakfast
this morning.
358
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:15,416
Matter of fact,
I'm a little peckish.
359
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:17,416
Why don't I pop out,
bring us both back some dinner?
360
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:19,266
-Okay.
-What are you in the mood for?
361
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,283
Whatever you're in the mood for.
362
00:17:21,316 --> 00:17:23,150
Well, I could go for a burger.
363
00:17:23,183 --> 00:17:25,116
Really? You couldn't go
for Chinese?
364
00:17:27,183 --> 00:17:29,383
I could go for Chinese.
365
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,133
You too?
366
00:17:34,316 --> 00:17:36,350
-I'll be right back.
-Okay.
367
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,000
I love you.
368
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,450
You're the best husband
369
00:17:43,483 --> 00:17:46,283
in the whole wide world.
370
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:49,300
But I'm a person
who needs people.
371
00:17:51,383 --> 00:17:54,216
And in about 10 minutes,
372
00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:58,400
I am going to be
one of the luckiest people
in the world.
373
00:18:10,116 --> 00:18:12,100
[music playing]
374
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:16,200
Hello, gorgeous.
375
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,350
Barbra?
376
00:18:19,383 --> 00:18:20,433
Barbra?
377
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,300
Barbra, can you hear me?
378
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:27,183
[phone ringing]
379
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,183
-Hello, hello?
-[Maxwell]Sweetheart?
380
00:18:31,216 --> 00:18:32,450
Oh, hi, honey.
381
00:18:32,483 --> 00:18:35,350
Uh, are you mad at me
because I ran out?
382
00:18:35,383 --> 00:18:38,316
[Maxwell]Not half as mad as
you're gonna be with yourself.
383
00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,466
Why?
384
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,250
Because when I called home,
385
00:18:42,283 --> 00:18:45,166
I arranged a little surprise
for you.
386
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:49,150
♪Even our piano
387
00:18:49,183 --> 00:18:52,000
♪In the parlor
388
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:55,466
♪Daddy bought for ten cents
389
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,383
♪On the dollar
390
00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:05,333
[all together]
♪Everyone knows that I'm just
Second hand Rose
391
00:19:05,366 --> 00:19:07,330
[singing]
392
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:09,133
[music playing]
393
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:14,466
And do you, Maggie,
394
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,330
take Michael to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
395
00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:20,150
-I do.
-[sobbing]
396
00:19:20,183 --> 00:19:22,200
Oh, Niles,
I really wish you could be here.
397
00:19:22,233 --> 00:19:24,466
You should see
how beautiful Maggie looks.
398
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:29,200
Yes, everybody is using
the coasters.
399
00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:30,450
Here's Ms. Babcock.
400
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,283
Normally,
at this point in the ceremony,
401
00:19:34,316 --> 00:19:36,450
I like to say a few words
about the couple
402
00:19:36,483 --> 00:19:39,000
embarking on their life.
403
00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:43,160
But I think the sentiments
were best expressed by Barbra
404
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,160
who just last night
stood right here
405
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,350
and sang 'What Are You Doing
the Rest of Your Life?'
406
00:19:55,330 --> 00:19:57,330
She sang that too?
407
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:04,166
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
408
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,366
[Sylvia sobbing]
409
00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:10,450
[cheering]
410
00:20:10,483 --> 00:20:13,466
['Wedding March'
playing on piano]
411
00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:23,150
Oh, wasn't it beautiful, Mama?
412
00:20:23,183 --> 00:20:26,160
-Beautiful.
-Oh, yes.
413
00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:31,200
Is Barbra's voice
as flawless in person?
414
00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:32,466
Well, actually,
it was a little tired
415
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,216
after singing
the score ofFunny Girl
416
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,183
and six new songs
from her next album.
417
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,333
I'm so glad that I'm pregnant.
418
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,500
Why?
419
00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:45,366
It's the only thing that's
keeping me from killing myself.
420
00:20:48,216 --> 00:20:52,416
Oh, Val, I am sitting on
such a huge secret
421
00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:54,316
for over a week now.
422
00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:57,150
But I cannot tell a living soul.
423
00:20:58,100 --> 00:20:59,660
[sighs]
424
00:21:00,366 --> 00:21:01,400
Good cake.
425
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,300
Val...
426
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,660
-Good cake.
-Niles and Ms. Babcock
are having an affair.
427
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,830
[gasps]
428
00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:15,383
-With who?
-With each other.
429
00:21:17,483 --> 00:21:19,283
I don't know the line.
430
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:25,300
When are they seeing...
When are they...
431
00:21:26,433 --> 00:21:28,183
[man] "So where are they now?"
432
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,433
Oh, God.
433
00:21:34,466 --> 00:21:37,450
[theme music playing]
434
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:53,416
[theme music ends]