1 00:00:01,233 --> 00:00:03,483 [Fran] Previously on The Nanny... 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,366 He's a heavy sleeper. Sometimes, 3 a.m., 4 a.m. in the morning, 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,200 I'll ring him up for a diet soda, I get no answer. 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,000 [music playing] 5 00:00:21,316 --> 00:00:25,283 Oh, my God! 6 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,450 Oh, this is worse than when I walked in on my parents. 7 00:00:27,483 --> 00:00:31,216 At least they had the decency to be covered in crumbs. 8 00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:34,133 [stammers] I don't ever want to see that again. 9 00:00:35,416 --> 00:00:37,316 I just don't understand. What happened? 10 00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:40,500 Five hours ago, they were at each other's throats. 11 00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:42,333 Well, apparently, they've decided to move downward. 12 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,330 What are we going to do? 13 00:00:46,660 --> 00:00:48,216 What are we gonna say to them when we see them? 14 00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:50,483 Oh, darling, I think the best course of action 15 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,116 is to exercise self-control and say nothing. 16 00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:55,350 And what about for me? 17 00:00:57,250 --> 00:01:00,830 ♪I'm too sexy for my apron 18 00:01:00,116 --> 00:01:02,500 ♪Too sexy For my bagel cutter 19 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,830 ♪Too sexy for my Sub-Zero 20 00:01:04,116 --> 00:01:05,316 ♪Too sexy... 21 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:07,233 I, uh.... 22 00:01:07,266 --> 00:01:10,830 I couldn't sleep. I was, uh... 23 00:01:10,116 --> 00:01:11,183 Too sexy? 24 00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:13,483 Oh, Niles, 25 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,000 I know what's troubling you. 26 00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:18,466 You're probably all torn up. 27 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,483 You know, about resigning. 28 00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:25,233 But judging from the smile on your banana, 29 00:01:25,266 --> 00:01:27,160 I'm guessing you decided to stay. 30 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,433 Uh... Yeah. 31 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:33,000 Niles, you've got an arm full of toppings there. 32 00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:35,400 Don't you need something to put all that on? 33 00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:37,316 I have something in my room. 34 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:43,830 [theme song playing] 35 00:01:43,116 --> 00:01:45,366 ♪She was working In a bridal shop In Flushing, Queens 36 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,200 ♪Till her boyfriend Kicked her out 37 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,000 ♪In one of those Crushing scenes 38 00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:50,483 ♪What was she to do? Where was she to go? 39 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,150 ♪She was out on her fanny 40 00:01:54,183 --> 00:01:56,450 ♪So over the bridge From Flushing To the Sheffield's door 41 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:59,166 ♪She was there to sell make-up But the father saw more 42 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,250 ♪She had style! She had flair! She was there! 43 00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:05,000 ♪That's how she became The Nanny 44 00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:07,333 ♪Who would have guessed That the girl we described 45 00:02:07,366 --> 00:02:09,400 ♪Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? 46 00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,333 ♪Now, the father Finds her beguiling 47 00:02:11,366 --> 00:02:12,466 ♪Watch out C.C.! 48 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,216 ♪And the kids Are actually smiling 49 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,350 ♪Such joie de vivre 50 00:02:15,383 --> 00:02:17,660 ♪She's the lady in red 51 00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:20,500 ♪When everybody else Is wearing tan 52 00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:23,116 ♪The flashy girl From Flushing 53 00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:24,333 ♪The Nanny named Fran! 54 00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:29,266 [music playing] 55 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:35,183 Honey, I made you some tea. 56 00:02:35,216 --> 00:02:36,483 I hope you don't mind sugar. 57 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,216 If you want honey, 58 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,433 you're gonna have to scrape it off of Miss Babcock. 59 00:02:44,233 --> 00:02:46,000 What's the matter, sweetie? 60 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,330 Well, my play closed, 61 00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:50,150 so it's not gonna open on Broadway. 62 00:02:50,183 --> 00:02:51,266 Aw. 63 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,433 You know, I was so sure this was the year 64 00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:56,366 I was gonna beat out Andrew Lloyd Webber for a Tony. 65 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,660 Sweetie, Andrew Lloyd Webber didn't have a show opening this season. 66 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,450 I know. I really had a chance. 67 00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:06,133 I've already rented the 49th Street Theater. 68 00:03:06,166 --> 00:03:09,500 It's gonna cost me a fortune. Money I'm never gonna see again. 69 00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:12,330 Oh, sweetie, you can always get your money back. 70 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,330 You know, Ma once got a refund on a chicken carcass 71 00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:17,316 that she claimed the meat fell off on the way home. 72 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,166 Good morning, Max. 73 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,383 Franny, don't you look pretty today. 74 00:03:24,416 --> 00:03:27,500 Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies! 75 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,316 Oh, Miss Babcock, 76 00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:33,830 aren't you in a good mood. 77 00:03:33,116 --> 00:03:34,366 What got into you? 78 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,500 Hello, hello. 79 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,150 C.C., I, uh... 80 00:03:41,183 --> 00:03:42,383 I thought, uh... 81 00:03:42,416 --> 00:03:44,316 I thought you resigned last night. 82 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:47,116 Oh, can't a girl have a change of heart? 83 00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:50,433 I think a change of clothes would do you better. 84 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:56,160 Aren't you wearing the same thing you wore yesterday? 85 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:57,216 Um, yes. 86 00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:58,483 Whenever I find something I love, 87 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,416 I always buy two and wear it the next day. 88 00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:04,660 -Haven't you ever noticed? -No. 89 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,383 Well, get used to it. It's gonna start happening a lot. 90 00:04:06,416 --> 00:04:08,330 Anyway.... 91 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,500 Maxwell, I have fabulous news. 92 00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:14,330 Someone wants to rent 49th Street Theater to open their new play. 93 00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:16,660 Oh, that's fantastic. 94 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,183 That completely lets us off the hook. 95 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:21,233 -So who's opening a new show? -Andrew Lloyd Webber. 96 00:04:21,266 --> 00:04:23,466 What? No. Absolutely not. 97 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,466 I don't care if I lose a fortune. 98 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000 That man is not having my theater. 99 00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:30,416 Oh, honey, stop it. 100 00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:33,150 Just remember, it doesn't matter what he does. 101 00:04:33,183 --> 00:04:35,333 His hits, his Tonys, his knighthood. 102 00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:38,150 You better be building to a big finish. 103 00:04:39,383 --> 00:04:42,000 You'll always be the pretty one. 104 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,100 Well, he can forget it. 105 00:04:45,133 --> 00:04:46,433 And you can call the newspapers 106 00:04:46,466 --> 00:04:49,416 and tell them Maxwell Sheffield is opening his own new show. 107 00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:54,000 Oh, and, uh, have them print our pictures side-by-side. 108 00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:56,660 I want everyone to see I'm the pretty one. 109 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,333 Oh, hey, did either of you guys 110 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:03,366 happen to seeDiagnosis Murder last night? I fell asleep. 111 00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:05,383 -No. -No. 112 00:05:07,116 --> 00:05:08,383 Oh, that's so too bad. 113 00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:12,000 I was so hoping to find out if the butler did it. 114 00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:16,350 [music playing] 115 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:22,160 [man on TV]The gestation period for the female elephant 116 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,100 is up to two years. 117 00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:25,150 Oh, my God. 118 00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:31,350 What I don't get, Fran, is elephants are always so big. 119 00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:33,216 How can you tell when they're pregnant? 120 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,483 [elephant trumpets] 121 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,160 That's how. 122 00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:39,150 -[bell dings] -Oh, I'll get it. 123 00:05:39,183 --> 00:05:42,116 What happened to Niles? How come he doesn't get the door anymore? 124 00:05:42,150 --> 00:05:45,300 Oh, sweetie, he's been getting the door for years. 125 00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:47,116 Now he's finally getting something 126 00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:48,366 he hasn't gotten for years. 127 00:05:51,316 --> 00:05:53,283 -Hi. -Hello. 128 00:05:53,316 --> 00:05:56,330 Oh, what a gorgeous chest. 129 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:57,333 Oh, thank you. 130 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:04,660 Sammy says I've got the boobs of a 73-year-old. 131 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:09,466 Darling, I brought Yetta's hope chest. 132 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,216 It's antique. 133 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:14,500 I thought it would be perfect for the nursery. 134 00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:17,166 Oh, yeah. Yetta, you've got everything in here. 135 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,216 Wow. 136 00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:20,216 Look at this picture. He's gorgeous. 137 00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:21,416 Who is that? Grandpa? 138 00:06:21,450 --> 00:06:24,500 Uh... Yeah. 139 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:32,300 -Oh! -Oh, look how cute that is. 140 00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:36,183 -Was this yours? -Yeah, that was my first baby dress. 141 00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:39,300 Your mother's first one is in there, too. 142 00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,160 [squeals] 143 00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:48,000 -Ooh! -Oh. 144 00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:51,100 Those are my old love letters that I wrote. 145 00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:53,250 Aw! To Grandpa? 146 00:06:53,283 --> 00:06:55,316 Uh... Yeah. 147 00:06:58,466 --> 00:07:03,300 It says, "Dear Richard." Daddy's name was Joe. 148 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:06,333 Would you believe Richard is short for Joe? 149 00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:09,483 -No. -All right. 150 00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:12,300 I'm busted. 151 00:07:16,433 --> 00:07:19,000 I never told anyone this to anyone, 152 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:21,366 but I was in love once 153 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,266 before your father. 154 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,366 Wow, Yetta. 155 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,000 You have like a whole Dawson's shtetl thing 156 00:07:29,330 --> 00:07:30,383 going on back then. 157 00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:36,233 We met on the boat coming over from Romania. 158 00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:39,266 My marriage to your grandfather was already planned 159 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,250 and he was waiting for me 160 00:07:41,283 --> 00:07:44,366 but once I saw Richard... 161 00:07:45,366 --> 00:07:48,160 [music playing] 162 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,250 [Yetta]He was so handsome in his captain's uniform. 163 00:07:56,283 --> 00:07:59,000 [Fran] He was a captain in the Navy? 164 00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:02,250 [Yetta]No. In the first class dining room. 165 00:08:02,283 --> 00:08:04,450 [Fran and Sylvia]Ooh. 166 00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:07,166 [Fran]And when our eyes met... 167 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,416 [music continues] 168 00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:26,450 [music continues] 169 00:08:32,660 --> 00:08:35,400 Did anything intimate happen between you and Richard? 170 00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:37,283 Of course not. 171 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:40,133 I was on my way to meet my future husband. 172 00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:43,166 [music playing] 173 00:08:50,316 --> 00:08:54,660 We got separated on Ellis Island. 174 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,200 Your grandfather was there waiting for me 175 00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:59,000 but I told him I couldn't marry him 176 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:02,116 because I wasn't sure of my feelings. 177 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:05,216 So I looked for Richard 178 00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:07,450 for five years. 179 00:09:07,483 --> 00:09:10,250 I wrote him a letter every day. 180 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,366 How did you know where to send the letters? 181 00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:16,133 I guess that's why I still have them. 182 00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,233 So, Yetta, 183 00:09:21,266 --> 00:09:24,166 you're keeping us all in suspense. 184 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,500 Who did you end up marrying? 185 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,450 Richard or Fran's grandfather? 186 00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:31,350 [music playing] 187 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,250 Hi, sweetie. 188 00:09:42,283 --> 00:09:44,300 Did you get a play for your theater yet? 189 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:46,233 Well, you tell me. 190 00:09:46,266 --> 00:09:48,250 Here's a hip-hop musical 191 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,216 calledBooty and the Beast. 192 00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:52,416 Oh, and yes, someone had the brilliant idea 193 00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:56,660 of writing the musical version of the filmWitness. 194 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,330 Get this.Amish Behavin'. 195 00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:04,116 Well, I've got your next hit right over here. 196 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:06,333 Oh, no. God, please don't tell me 197 00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:09,450 it's a boring three-act play about a butler's life 198 00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:13,116 which mysteriously keeps creeping its way to the top of my pile. 199 00:10:13,150 --> 00:10:15,250 Then I guess you wouldn't be interested 200 00:10:15,283 --> 00:10:18,333 in reading Yetta's Letters for a play. 201 00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:20,483 -Nope. -Then I'll read them to you. 202 00:10:22,316 --> 00:10:26,160 Sweetheart, I'm a producer. I know what makes good theater. 203 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,250 Trust me, Yetta's Letters won't. 204 00:10:28,283 --> 00:10:30,316 -Fine, fine. -[phone rings] 205 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:36,250 Hello, Mr. Thinks-He-Knows- Everything Productions. 206 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,830 Hold on. 207 00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:40,450 Andrew Lloyd Webber's secretary. 208 00:10:40,483 --> 00:10:42,283 Pretend you work for me. 209 00:10:42,316 --> 00:10:44,416 Oh, I could do that. Did it for five years. 210 00:10:46,116 --> 00:10:49,100 Uh, yes, this is Mr. Sheffield's secretary. 211 00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:51,416 With what may I help you with doing, please? 212 00:10:53,466 --> 00:10:55,466 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 213 00:10:56,366 --> 00:10:57,350 Uh-huh. 214 00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,466 Uh. 215 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,283 He wants to talk to you. 216 00:11:01,316 --> 00:11:04,383 He doesn't understand why you won't rent him your theater. 217 00:11:04,416 --> 00:11:07,166 Tell him I'm not in and I'll explain everything in a letter. 218 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,400 He says he's not in. 219 00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:20,830 And he will explain everything in a letter. 220 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,366 What's your address? 221 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,316 Uh-huh. 222 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:28,266 Oh, that's a lovely neighborhood. 223 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,150 Mm. The entire floor, you say? 224 00:11:32,183 --> 00:11:35,183 He's got the entire... Oh, you're not interested in this. 225 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:38,660 Okay. I've got it. Thanks, honey. 226 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,450 -[Fran] Yeah, goodbye. -Excuse me, sir. 227 00:11:39,483 --> 00:11:42,400 The messenger's here to pick up all the scripts you've rejected. 228 00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:45,133 -Well, that'll be all of them. -Including mine, 229 00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:47,316 Love, Valet, Compassion? 230 00:11:49,316 --> 00:11:50,450 Particularly. 231 00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,416 Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 232 00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:56,266 You know I don't like ranch dressing. Where's my Italian? 233 00:11:57,483 --> 00:12:00,160 It seems we're all out of olive oil. 234 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,160 [music playing] 235 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,483 -Oh, hi, B. -Oh, hey, Fran. 236 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,483 -Hey, do you know if Dad saw this? -What? 237 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,383 "Andrew Lloyd Webber announces plans to mount new musical." 238 00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:17,660 Oh, my God, let me see that. He always gets so upset 239 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:19,400 when Webber's doing a Broadway musical. 240 00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:22,133 "Based on the love letters of a young immigrant woman... 241 00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:23,450 Yetta Rosenberg"? 242 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,500 What's Andrew Lloyd Webber doing with your grandmother's letters? 243 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:29,283 Oh, my God. 244 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,483 I must've written his address down on Yetta's envelope. 245 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,266 Your father can't find out about this, 246 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,150 because you know who he's gonna blame, don't you? 247 00:12:35,183 --> 00:12:37,133 -[Maxwell] C.C.! -Oh, thank God, thank God. 248 00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:39,216 -[Maxwell] Where's Fran? -[gasps] 249 00:12:41,266 --> 00:12:44,233 How did Andrew Lloyd Webber get Yetta's Letters? 250 00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:48,000 Now, I don't know exactly how, I don't know exactly why, 251 00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:50,483 but I do know that this is somehow your fault. 252 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,330 I had nothing to do with it. 253 00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:57,830 But I'd fire that idiot secretary you hired. I think she steals. 254 00:12:57,116 --> 00:12:59,830 How could you do this to me? 255 00:12:59,116 --> 00:13:00,483 How could she do this to me? 256 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,166 I'm mishpachah. 257 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:07,000 Well, excuse me, but as I recall, I offered them to you 258 00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:09,316 and your exact words were, "No, no, no." 259 00:13:09,350 --> 00:13:12,450 And since when did you take "no, no, no" for an answer? 260 00:13:14,116 --> 00:13:17,100 You know what, lady? Married life has made you soft. 261 00:13:17,133 --> 00:13:18,433 Oh, stop it. 262 00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:20,366 You're getting all worked up over nothing. 263 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,100 Come over here. Look at this. 264 00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:26,450 It says that he's only negotiating. Negotiating. 265 00:13:26,483 --> 00:13:28,200 Now, you're her favorite grandson. 266 00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,133 Trust me. I know what I'm talking about here. 267 00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:34,160 Why is she gonna go pick a perfect stranger over you, huh? 268 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:37,183 Paris is lovely, Mr. Lloyd Webber. 269 00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:42,433 We could have gone to Epcot and seen all of Europe. 270 00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,160 Where do I sign? 271 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,416 [music playing] 272 00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:59,433 Hello, hello. 273 00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:04,283 There's spring in the air. 274 00:14:04,316 --> 00:14:09,330 Yetta signed the rights to her letters over to Andrew Lloyd Webber. 275 00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:11,330 -What do you have to say about that? 276 00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:13,316 Why are these doors closed? 277 00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:17,466 It's such a beautiful day. 278 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,500 [inhales] 279 00:14:19,830 --> 00:14:21,250 Smell that breeze. 280 00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:25,330 Well, hello, little birdie. 281 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:27,266 Aren't you beautiful? 282 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,250 [whistling] 283 00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:30,350 [bird chirps] 284 00:14:33,366 --> 00:14:38,133 ♪I'm as restless As a willow in a windstorm 285 00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:42,330 ♪I'm as giddy As a baby on a... 286 00:14:45,266 --> 00:14:47,450 Sweetie, I brought... 287 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,433 I brought you some ice cream to make you feel better. 288 00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:58,500 Oh, you know, I'd really love some chocolate syrup. 289 00:14:58,830 --> 00:14:59,433 Yeah, well, who wouldn't? 290 00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:03,200 You know, darling, I've been thinking. 291 00:15:04,216 --> 00:15:06,100 There's no way this contract 292 00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:08,333 between Yetta and Webber could possibly be valid. 293 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:11,483 I mean, let's face it, Yetta isn't exactly in her right mind. 294 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,300 Sweetie, just because she thinks we're Rob and Laura Petrie 295 00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:15,483 and she's our neighbor Millie, 296 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,316 only means she's occasionally confused. 297 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,100 Occasionally? 298 00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:23,660 Oh, sweet doggie. 299 00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:25,366 Nice, puppy. 300 00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:32,500 Wow, she don't feed him enough. 301 00:15:32,830 --> 00:15:35,116 -[banging keys on piano] -[clapping] 302 00:15:36,116 --> 00:15:38,316 Beautiful. 303 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,433 Thank you. 304 00:15:42,466 --> 00:15:45,366 Why doesn't anyone ever eat these fruits? 305 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,250 Because they're wax. 306 00:15:48,283 --> 00:15:50,500 Even the grapes? 307 00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:54,133 Yetta. 308 00:15:57,116 --> 00:15:58,400 [Yetta] What? 309 00:15:58,433 --> 00:16:01,000 When you coming out of there? 310 00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:06,316 [Yetta] I can't decide whether to vote for Nixon or Kennedy. 311 00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:10,266 Something terrible happened. I just heard it on the news. 312 00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:12,450 What happened, Yetta? 313 00:16:12,483 --> 00:16:14,266 Wait a minute. 314 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:15,400 I lost it. 315 00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:20,483 Don't worry, Yetta. You told me in case you forgot. 316 00:16:21,383 --> 00:16:22,416 Who are you? 317 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:28,100 Oh, you're right. That contract is so not valid. 318 00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:31,100 What the hell is my mother doing in Paris 319 00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:34,266 posing next to Jim Morrison's grave? 320 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:38,160 Ma, you know, Andrew Lloyd Webber is trying to schmooze Yetta 321 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,183 into signing the rights to her letters. 322 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,200 Well, he's schmoozing the wrong lady. 323 00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:46,660 I got power of attorney years ago. 324 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,400 What? Thank God. 325 00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:50,116 So you could just sign the rights over to us. 326 00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,660 -Sure. -Well, that's great. 327 00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:54,166 So, what do we have to do to get things started? 328 00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:57,233 This wasn't really necessary, 329 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,116 but we better get our check 330 00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:02,150 because our flight to London leaves in an hour. 331 00:17:04,183 --> 00:17:06,183 Frère Jacques! 332 00:17:06,216 --> 00:17:07,466 Frère Jacques! 333 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,200 Dormez-vous. 334 00:17:16,366 --> 00:17:19,383 [music playing] 335 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:32,366 ♪I'm torn between The man I love 336 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,133 ♪And the man Whose name is Joe 337 00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:37,366 ♪I fear he is a furrier 338 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,250 ♪So we know he isn't po' 339 00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:44,400 ♪On the island 340 00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:48,100 ♪Ellis Island 341 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:51,000 ♪A new life will begin 342 00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:53,433 ♪If they'll only let us in 343 00:17:56,433 --> 00:18:01,233 ♪I'm in love with a waiter 344 00:18:01,266 --> 00:18:06,160 ♪Who cannot afford To date her 345 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:10,660 ♪On the bright side He can cater 346 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:14,416 ♪Oy, his folks Are gonna hate her 347 00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:17,433 ♪On the island 348 00:18:17,466 --> 00:18:20,450 ♪Ellis Island 349 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,660 ♪If I say yes to a waiter 350 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,283 ♪Am I totally meshuga? 351 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,000 ♪Stick with your intended 352 00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,216 ♪You'll have champagne And beluga 353 00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:37,433 ♪On the island 354 00:18:37,466 --> 00:18:40,416 ♪Ellis Island 355 00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:43,433 ♪On the island 356 00:18:43,466 --> 00:18:46,433 ♪Ellis Island 357 00:18:46,466 --> 00:18:52,466 ♪On the island 358 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:04,350 "Sheffield has the hit of the Broadway season." 359 00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:07,283 "A surefire Tony contender." 360 00:19:07,316 --> 00:19:10,160 "The feel-good sing-along of the year." 361 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,250 Marble rye, 49 cents at D'Agostino's? 362 00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:19,216 Oh, wasn't that some story? 363 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:22,500 The way she gave up the handsome waiter 364 00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,233 for the simple furrier. 365 00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:28,166 What a schmuck. 366 00:19:30,383 --> 00:19:33,660 Well, I'm feeling a little tired. 367 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,166 I, uh, I think I'll retire. 368 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,216 -Congratulations again, sir. -Thank you. 369 00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:40,100 Well, I've had a long day, too 370 00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:43,116 and I have all that publicity to get rolling tomorrow. 371 00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:46,660 -I'll see you in the morning. -Good night. 372 00:19:51,266 --> 00:19:53,366 -You know what, sweetheart? -Yeah? 373 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:58,433 After all these years, I finally beat out Andrew Lloyd Webber 374 00:19:58,466 --> 00:20:01,166 and it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would. 375 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,133 Which is why I'm gonna send him these. 376 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,166 You know, honey,Yetta's Letters would make a great movie. 377 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,466 Oh, I know, that's exactly why first thing in the morning 378 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,000 my lawyer is gonna get in touch with Sylvia for the film rights. 379 00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:19,383 Yeah. I'm not gonna let an opportunity like this 380 00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:21,266 slip through my fingers. 381 00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:24,150 So, Steven, 382 00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:27,383 are you of the Rego Park Spielbergs 383 00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:31,183 or theJurassic Park 384 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,483 Sonny Lamatino! 385 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,216 Sonny Lamatino! 386 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:41,366 Ding! Dang! Dong! 387 00:20:47,383 --> 00:20:52,133 Maxwell, I just read Niles' play and it is genius. 388 00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:54,333 -Oh, well, I don't see it. -How about now? 389 00:20:55,416 --> 00:20:58,333 [music playing] 390 00:20:58,366 --> 00:21:01,283 ♪I scrub and I dust And I do what I must 391 00:21:01,316 --> 00:21:04,466 ♪For a millionaire With a full head of hair 392 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:09,333 ♪But it doesn't matter What I'm paid 393 00:21:09,366 --> 00:21:12,160 ♪'Cause I'm finally getting 394 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,330 ♪Six bucks an hour 395 00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:18,116 ♪Includes a room and shower 396 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:21,183 ♪Which I myself must scour 397 00:21:21,216 --> 00:21:25,200 ♪No wonder he's so dour 398 00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:30,316 ♪He's a six-bucks- An-hour man 399 00:21:30,350 --> 00:21:34,416 ♪We don't mean seven 400 00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:36,333 ♪And I'm in heaven 401 00:21:37,450 --> 00:21:43,483 ♪He's a six-bucks- An-hour man 402 00:21:45,466 --> 00:21:48,483 [vocalizing] 403 00:22:06,466 --> 00:22:09,483 [theme music playing] 404 00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:25,466 [theme music ends]