1
00:00:02,283 --> 00:00:04,400
Oh, this is so exciting.
2
00:00:04,433 --> 00:00:08,283
Grace is applying to the
Eastside School for the Gifted?
3
00:00:08,316 --> 00:00:12,450
You know, you won't be
the first member of
the Fine family to attend.
4
00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:15,450
Your Aunt Celia
spent three years there.
5
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:19,266
Ma, she worked in the lunchroom.
6
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:22,400
And she got fired
for giving free lunches
7
00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:26,400
to a lady who tried
to pass herself off
as an eighth-grader.
8
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:34,383
Meanwhile,
with my little pigtails
and my little plaid skirt,
9
00:00:34,416 --> 00:00:35,483
I was adorable.
10
00:00:37,466 --> 00:00:40,416
You know, Sylvia, tomorrow
we're having the headmistress
of the school over
11
00:00:40,450 --> 00:00:43,216
for a fancy-schmancy
Music Appreciation Day.
12
00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:46,500
Fran's trying to schmooze her
because she's a big macher.
13
00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:47,450
[Fran laughs]
14
00:00:47,483 --> 00:00:52,283
And now that she's bilingual,
we'll slide right in.
15
00:00:52,316 --> 00:00:54,350
Oh, what time
are you gonna start?
16
00:00:54,383 --> 00:00:57,283
Because I could stop by
on my way to the beauty parlor.
17
00:00:57,316 --> 00:00:59,300
No, Ma, I don't think
that's such a good idea.
18
00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:01,160
Why?
19
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:05,133
Well, because A,
they would meet you,
20
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:08,250
and B, they would meet you
before you went
to the beauty parlor.
21
00:01:10,433 --> 00:01:13,300
Meanwhile, if you wanna get
Grace in,
22
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:17,200
you should give
a big, generous donation.
23
00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:22,116
Your Uncle Louie has a garage
full of illegal cable boxes.
24
00:01:24,266 --> 00:01:26,433
Oh, well, I can always
join a gang.
25
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,400
Darling, you'll never guess
who I just bumped into.
26
00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:32,283
Remember my friend
Rodney Pembrook?
27
00:01:32,316 --> 00:01:34,333
All those zany stories
I used to recount?
28
00:01:34,366 --> 00:01:37,316
Oh, the recounting we did.
29
00:01:37,350 --> 00:01:39,333
You have no idea
who I'm talking about, do you?
30
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,283
Not a clue.
31
00:01:41,316 --> 00:01:46,100
I'm sorry, honey. I only really
started paying attention
after you proposed.
32
00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:49,116
-Come on, we went to Oxford
together. We were like brothers.
-Oh.
33
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,316
He comes from one
of wealthiest families
in London.
34
00:01:51,350 --> 00:01:56,433
Is he single? Because your
sister's not that happy
with her husband lately.
35
00:01:56,466 --> 00:02:01,830
Oy, we're both married
and she's still
trying to trade up.
36
00:02:01,116 --> 00:02:03,283
Oh, Niles, guess what.
We're gonna have company.
37
00:02:03,316 --> 00:02:06,416
Heh. Thirty years
and he still thinks
company excites me.
38
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:11,183
Yes, Rodney Pembrook
from Oxford. Oh, my God.
39
00:02:11,216 --> 00:02:13,416
Do you remember New Year's Eve,
freshman year
40
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,333
we were sick all over the room,
41
00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:20,660
and then some idiot forgot
to turn the bathtub off
and flooded the place?
42
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,266
I think that was you, wasn't it?
43
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,416
No, but you remember
the next morning
when you woke up
44
00:02:23,450 --> 00:02:26,250
-and it was all spotless again?
-Uh.
45
00:02:26,283 --> 00:02:28,660
That was me.
46
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,316
♪ She was working
in a bridal shop ♪
47
00:02:33,350 --> 00:02:35,000
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
48
00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:36,166
♪ Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪
49
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,450
♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪
50
00:02:37,483 --> 00:02:39,333
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
51
00:02:39,366 --> 00:02:43,000
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
52
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,150
♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing ♪
53
00:02:44,183 --> 00:02:45,466
♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪
54
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,830
♪ She was there to sell makeup
but the father saw more ♪
55
00:02:48,116 --> 00:02:50,133
♪ She had style, she had flair
she was there ♪
56
00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:51,150
♪ That's how she became ♪
57
00:02:51,183 --> 00:02:54,160
♪ The Nanny ♪
58
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:57,160
♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪
59
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,116
♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪
60
00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:00,283
♪ Now, the father
finds her beguiling ♪
61
00:03:00,316 --> 00:03:01,416
♪ Watch out C.C. ♪
62
00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:03,116
♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪
63
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,116
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
64
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,383
♪ She's the lady in red ♪
65
00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:09,160
♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪
66
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,150
♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪
67
00:03:12,183 --> 00:03:13,300
♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
68
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,150
[playing piano]
69
00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:30,500
I think we're really making
a good impression
on the headmistress.
70
00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:33,166
Wait till she hears me sing
"Don't Rain On My Parade."
71
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,483
-[people exclaiming]
-[applause]
72
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:43,500
Mrs. Sheffield, where I have
seen this pianist before?
73
00:03:43,830 --> 00:03:46,000
Do I know him from
the recital hall at Juilliard?
74
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:47,830
Oh, no.
75
00:03:47,116 --> 00:03:49,300
The atrium at Macy's.
76
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,300
You know, Mrs. Sheffield,
I'm... I'm very curious
77
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:57,660
about your background
and education.
We haven't discussed it.
78
00:03:57,100 --> 00:04:01,266
You know, I... I had wonderful
experiences at private school
79
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:06,500
and, uh, some
of my fondest memories
were with my classmates.
80
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:07,250
Who?
81
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:12,450
Tootie, Blair and Natalie.
82
00:04:12,483 --> 00:04:16,200
You know, uh, Grace's father
is from England
83
00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:19,660
and he went to private school
as well.
84
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:22,283
Yes, I'm looking forward
to meeting your husband.
85
00:04:22,316 --> 00:04:25,500
Where's my little coochy coo?
86
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,266
Hey, sexy, come on.
87
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:35,000
Move those beautiful legs
over here
and come say hello to Rodney.
88
00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:36,133
Pardon, doll.
89
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,166
Honey, honey.
90
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,333
You're interrupting my
91
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,483
"mother-daughter we got culture
in this house" day.
92
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:46,200
What's that? Oh, Rodney,
come on in here, you ugly bum.
93
00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:48,483
Come on in, you madman.
94
00:04:51,183 --> 00:04:53,483
Maxwell, she's breathtaking.
95
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,100
[Maxwell] Mm.
96
00:04:56,133 --> 00:05:00,000
How the devil could you have
waited five years
to propose to her?
97
00:05:00,330 --> 00:05:02,000
-You perfect fool.
-[chuckles]
98
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:04,450
Oh, thank you, Rodney.
99
00:05:04,483 --> 00:05:07,133
[laughs]
And she does funny voices.
100
00:05:08,366 --> 00:05:11,300
[shushing]
101
00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,830
[clears throat]
Darling, darling.
102
00:05:13,116 --> 00:05:15,366
You'll never guess
what this crazy lunatic
did at the club.
103
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,383
He ordered us a bottle
of white wine,
104
00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:20,660
-then switched to red wine...
-Right.
105
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:22,330
...and ordered fish. [laughs]
106
00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:26,433
Oh, you outlaws, you.
107
00:05:26,466 --> 00:05:30,133
Butch, why don't you
take Sundance and get
some coffee in the kitchen?
108
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:33,316
Oh, uh... No, uh... Have Niles
bring it to the office. Uh...
109
00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:36,416
Rodney's gonna let me
into a very hush-hush deal
he's got going.
110
00:05:36,450 --> 00:05:40,216
-You know, everything this chap
touches turns to gold.
-[Fran] Mm-hmm. Oh.
111
00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:42,483
-How do you do?
-Ow! Ow!
112
00:05:45,183 --> 00:05:46,466
Excuse me. It's okay.
113
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,466
You know the British.
They're so warm and cuddly.
[laughs]
114
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:56,150
I know, why don't I just ring
for the butler to replenish us?
115
00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:57,283
Yahoo!
116
00:05:57,316 --> 00:06:01,116
Sweet lordy Lord,
my ship has come in.
117
00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:04,283
Uh, Niles, would you mind
getting us some tea?
118
00:06:04,316 --> 00:06:06,266
It turns out,
I had an uncle who died.
119
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:09,660
But wait, it gets better.
120
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,366
I've inherited a royal title.
I'm rich.
121
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:15,383
Oh, that's so exciting.
Did you get the check yet?
122
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:18,160
-No.
-Then get the tea.
123
00:06:28,316 --> 00:06:32,233
You know, Sylvia, why don't you
just take the magazine home?
124
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,366
That's not courteous.
125
00:06:36,283 --> 00:06:38,200
Ma, what are you doing here?
126
00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:43,116
You know, just once
I'd like you to say, "Hello.
How are you? What's new?"
127
00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:44,483
What's gonna be new
since this morning
128
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,660
when you were sitting here
eating breakfast?
129
00:06:47,483 --> 00:06:50,300
I since had a nectarine.
130
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:54,100
So did she get into the school?
131
00:06:54,133 --> 00:06:56,400
Well, it was only
our second interview,
132
00:06:56,433 --> 00:07:00,660
and the teacher dropped a word
that I didn't understand.
Which one was that?
133
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,350
-Curriculum.
-Oh.
134
00:07:03,350 --> 00:07:07,100
She said it was broad-based,
and you said,
"What do the boys study?"
135
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:08,416
Yeah, right.
136
00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:12,350
But, you know, I really think
I impressed her
137
00:07:12,383 --> 00:07:15,466
when I told her that
we were related to Larry Fine.
138
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,830
Larry Fine of the Three Stooges?
139
00:07:19,116 --> 00:07:22,333
Now, you see,
and you thought no one knew.
140
00:07:22,366 --> 00:07:25,250
Is he the funny-looking one
with the kinky hair
141
00:07:25,283 --> 00:07:28,266
-who always acts like a moron?
-Yeah.
142
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,466
We're not related to him.
143
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,150
Yeah, but Ma,
we so easily could be.
144
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,150
You know, Grace,
I didn't get into that school.
145
00:07:35,183 --> 00:07:37,000
What makes you think you will?
146
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:40,160
Because I study, I write well,
I've maintained a 4.0-grade
average.
147
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:43,216
Okay, but If I have the choice
between being smart
and being good-looking...
148
00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:45,133
You'd pick either?
149
00:07:45,166 --> 00:07:46,283
Niles.
150
00:07:46,316 --> 00:07:48,366
The minute you arrive,
you tell that theater owner
151
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,116
he better not jack up the rent
or next time he'll have
to deal with me.
152
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:54,316
Oh, C.C., there's no need
to frighten the man.
153
00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:56,416
-Where are you going?
-Darling, I have to go to London
154
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:58,316
-for an emergency meeting.
-What?
155
00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:01,300
I'm sorry, but I'm going
on the Concorde,
so I'll be back tomorrow night.
156
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:02,350
Niles!
157
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:11,283
No, no, I'm not sending you
any more money,
so stop calling me.
158
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,350
If Mommy calls again,
I'm not here.
159
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,316
Well, if it isn't
Jane Austen Powers.
160
00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:21,400
Why can't you
just be happy for me?
161
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:24,330
Being called "sir" is new to me.
162
00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:26,400
You're used to it.
163
00:08:26,433 --> 00:08:29,466
Well, Niles, I'm very happy
about your newfound title.
164
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,150
It must be quite a check.
Come on, let's see it.
165
00:08:32,183 --> 00:08:33,400
Well, it hasn't come yet.
166
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:36,316
Oh, in that case, go upstairs
and pack my bags, would you?
167
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,250
Okay. But you'd better watch
168
00:08:38,283 --> 00:08:41,330
because after my check arrives,
I'll be loaded.
169
00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:42,466
Again, just like you.
170
00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:51,266
[humming]
171
00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:57,133
Uh, Niles,
I had to let Rodney in.
172
00:08:57,166 --> 00:09:00,183
Oh, good, because that will
probably be your job now.
173
00:09:03,216 --> 00:09:04,316
-Niles.
-Sir.
174
00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:07,316
Good Lord, the last time
I saw you,
175
00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:08,450
we were all pheasant hunting.
176
00:09:08,483 --> 00:09:11,483
Somebody bagged a bird
with the very first shot.
177
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,660
That was you.
178
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,266
No, no, no. But remember
the next night
179
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:16,283
when it was
so delicious under glass
180
00:09:16,316 --> 00:09:19,166
with the little red potatoes?
That was me.
181
00:09:20,483 --> 00:09:23,266
-Anyway, if you want some food,
the kitchen's that way.
-[scoffs]
182
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,160
You want a drink, follow him.
183
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:30,000
Hello. C.C. Babcock,
Maxwell's business partner.
184
00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:32,116
Ah, it's a pleasure.
185
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:35,383
Whatever happened
to that plump brunette
he partnered with after college?
186
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,416
I have no idea.
187
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:45,116
-Oh, hi, Rodney.
-Oh, Fran, hello.
188
00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:47,450
Max left for London
without giving me
his investments...
189
00:09:47,483 --> 00:09:50,283
-Oh! Oh.
-...and I've got
a 5:00 deadline.
190
00:09:50,316 --> 00:09:53,350
-Can you write me a check?
-No. No.
191
00:09:53,383 --> 00:09:56,000
-She cannot.
-Why not?
192
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:59,330
-You're his wife, aren't you?
-Yes, Rodney.
193
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:01,250
Yes, I am.
194
00:10:01,283 --> 00:10:06,330
Yes, but I am his
business partner,
and I am in charge of the money.
195
00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:10,250
Yes, but this is
a private investment
made by Max and myself.
196
00:10:10,283 --> 00:10:13,133
Well, I am in charge of that too
because you're stupid.
197
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:18,483
Now, Miss Babcock,
my husband wants in on this deal
198
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,000
and I'm just doing
what he would want.
How much do you need?
199
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,300
An even million
was the figure we discussed.
200
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,150
A million?
Give me that checkbook!
201
00:10:26,183 --> 00:10:29,366
Over my dead body. Oh, look,
Rodney's checking out your tush.
202
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,316
Oh, really?
203
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,433
-How many zeroes in a mil?
-Six.
204
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,116
Oh, wow!
205
00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:36,483
Look at that. When you put
the smiley faces in,
206
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,350
it looks like the Osmond family.
207
00:10:39,383 --> 00:10:43,466
-Mrs. Fran Sheffield. [guffaws]
-Well, sign away.
208
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,183
Because it's the last time
you'll use that name.
209
00:10:47,216 --> 00:10:49,466
Thank you, Fran. You've just
made the deal of a lifetime.
210
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,433
Well, you are welcome, sir.
211
00:10:53,116 --> 00:10:54,233
[scoffs]
212
00:10:54,266 --> 00:10:57,233
Fran, uh, Jocelyn's here.
And do you have any idea
213
00:10:57,266 --> 00:10:59,416
why Niles would want me
to make him a sandwich?
214
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,500
Oh, they made him a lord
or something.
215
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:03,433
Just humor him, humor him.
216
00:11:04,483 --> 00:11:06,383
-[Fran] Hi.
-Oh, ta-ta.
217
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,416
So good to see you.
Let's have lunch.
218
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:11,266
God, I could really go
for that Rodney.
219
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:15,000
[chuckles] Well, why don't you?
He's handsome, he's single.
220
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:16,400
-He's broke.
-What?
221
00:11:16,433 --> 00:11:19,450
Darling, everyone in England
knows he's penniless.
222
00:11:19,483 --> 00:11:22,500
He's gone through his own money
and everyone else's.
223
00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:24,433
He must be over here
looking for new victims.
224
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:27,400
[gasps]
225
00:11:27,433 --> 00:11:30,483
Oh, Maxwell's gonna fire you
when he hears you let me
write that check.
226
00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:41,466
Nanny Fine,
maybe you misunderstood
the bank.
227
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,383
How? They said Rodney already
wired the money to Switzerland
228
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:48,330
and it was too late
to stop the check.
229
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,333
I know. I just wanted
to hear it again.
230
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,350
Oh, cheer up, Nanny Fine.
231
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:55,330
Whenever I'm depressed,
232
00:11:55,660 --> 00:11:57,283
I think about people
who are worse off than myself
233
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:59,216
and then I visit them. [laughs]
234
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,200
Hey, Val. How you enjoying
your first day of work?
235
00:12:05,233 --> 00:12:06,483
Oh, I can't talk.
236
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,450
I'm not supposed to have
non-doughnut-related
conversations.
237
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,183
What's with the hair?
238
00:12:13,216 --> 00:12:15,183
Oh, it's my marketing strategy.
239
00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:19,350
See, I wear it
like cinnamon buns,
and hence, I sell more.
240
00:12:19,383 --> 00:12:21,200
Can I have another cinnamon bun?
241
00:12:21,233 --> 00:12:23,416
Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
242
00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:29,266
Here's to you, Nanny Fine.
243
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:32,300
It was just a matter of time
before you screwed up
with Maxwell.
244
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,466
I know.
245
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,366
Well, look on the bright side.
246
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,316
Maybe you can live
with one of the kids.
247
00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:40,266
Because when I move in,
they're out of there.
248
00:12:42,383 --> 00:12:46,483
Oh! Why am I such a loser?
249
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,660
You got cocky.
250
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,233
That'll bring you down
every time.
251
00:12:55,283 --> 00:12:58,200
Fran, there has got to be a way
to get that money back.
252
00:12:58,233 --> 00:13:02,166
How, Val? He already converted
the million bucks into Francs.
253
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,400
Oh, well, once you convert it
into hot dogs,
254
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:08,100
well, it's very hard to trace.
255
00:13:09,216 --> 00:13:12,183
Loosen your cinnamon buns,
would you?
256
00:13:12,216 --> 00:13:15,383
Fran, this isn't like you.
I've never seen you defeated.
257
00:13:15,416 --> 00:13:19,160
Why don't you just go
to that Rodney guy
and demand your money back?
258
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,166
Yeah, you go do that.
259
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,500
Take your financial advice
from E. F. Muffin.
260
00:13:27,316 --> 00:13:30,660
Val, you are right.
261
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:34,350
This isn't me. Accepting doom.
Drowning my sorrows in jelly?
262
00:13:34,383 --> 00:13:37,416
No. I push this doughnut away.
263
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,466
I am going to go to Rodney
264
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,000
and demand that he give us
our money back.
265
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:45,300
And if all else fails,
see if you can get me a job here
266
00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:47,200
because I could do
a gorgeous French cruller.
267
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,466
Good luck, Nanny Fine.
268
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,830
You'll get that check.
269
00:13:53,116 --> 00:13:54,350
Excuse me.
270
00:13:54,383 --> 00:13:56,330
NYPD.
271
00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,160
Why so blue?
272
00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:07,466
-Fran. Come in.
-Hi.
273
00:14:08,316 --> 00:14:10,233
What a surprise.
274
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,383
Can I get you anything?
275
00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:15,000
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe a cracker, some Gouda,
276
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:17,450
a million bucks?
277
00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:20,000
What are you saying?
You want your money back?
278
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:21,200
Yes.
279
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:23,133
And the cracker and the Gouda.
280
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,830
Well, what happened? I mean,
281
00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:27,316
a few hours ago, you thought you
were making a good investment.
282
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:31,100
Well, that was before I knew
you were broke,
and then I started to think
283
00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:33,300
maybe it's not
such a good investment.
284
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:38,133
Look, Fran, if you're
uncomfortable investing with me,
285
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:40,483
I'll write you a check,
right now.
286
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,350
-[clears throat]
-I'm uncomfortable.
287
00:14:45,383 --> 00:14:47,466
Fran, you've gotta believe me.
288
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,160
This was a good investment.
289
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:53,100
I'd never steer Maxwell wrong.
He's like a brother to me.
290
00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:55,500
Well, then why did you lie
to him?
291
00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:57,200
And why did you pretend
to still be rich?
292
00:14:57,233 --> 00:15:02,000
Because I made
one bad investment
and everyone lost faith.
293
00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:03,150
I mean, why are you here?
294
00:15:03,183 --> 00:15:04,316
Because you found out
I was broke
295
00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:06,283
and thought
I was a bad risk, right?
296
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,160
Yeah, well, maybe.
297
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:15,150
See, you have money.
You don't know what it's like
to be an underdog.
298
00:15:15,183 --> 00:15:18,116
Oh, please, are you kidding me?
299
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:22,266
I was an underdog before
Underdog got his own series.
300
00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:27,830
You know
what it boils down to, Fran?
301
00:15:27,116 --> 00:15:28,433
I needed a break.
302
00:15:28,466 --> 00:15:31,500
And I knew if Max
invested with me,
303
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,500
everyone else would follow.
304
00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:34,466
But I swear to you,
305
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,400
I would never do anything
to hurt him.
306
00:15:37,433 --> 00:15:40,166
I just needed a second chance.
307
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,116
Oh... Well... Oh.
308
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,250
So is there anything else
I can get you?
309
00:15:46,183 --> 00:15:47,283
Well...
310
00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:50,300
That Gouda's probably
softening up by now.
311
00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:53,466
Would you settle
for a cinnamon bun?
312
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,333
I don't even care for them.
313
00:15:55,366 --> 00:15:57,116
But I bought a dozen.
314
00:15:59,183 --> 00:16:01,300
[sighs] Oh, what to do?
315
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:06,160
I wanna give the guy a break
but he lied to me.
316
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:07,333
Oh, and you have never lied,
317
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:11,316
Miss I-Went-to-a-Private-School-
and-I'm-Related-to-the-Stooges?
318
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,000
Well, that was different.
319
00:16:14,330 --> 00:16:16,300
I was just trying to get Gracie
into a good school.
320
00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:20,216
And maybe he just wanted
to get his life back on track.
321
00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:23,660
You know, you both pretended
to be something that you're not.
322
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,466
By the way, that lipstick
is way too blue for us.
323
00:16:27,416 --> 00:16:29,150
Oh, maybe you've got a point.
324
00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:31,150
Maybe I should just give
the guy a break.
325
00:16:31,183 --> 00:16:34,283
I mean, everyone deserves
a second chance.
326
00:16:34,316 --> 00:16:37,660
If you do this,
I'll give you a present.
327
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:39,283
Really? What?
328
00:16:39,316 --> 00:16:42,466
How would you like to see
what you're going to look like
in 30 years?
329
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,133
You can do that?
330
00:16:45,166 --> 00:16:46,233
Watch me.
331
00:16:52,416 --> 00:16:56,183
Oh, my God.
332
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,300
-Hi.
-Nanny Fine, how did it go?
333
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,250
Wait, wait, wait, let me guess.
334
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:16,266
Rodney said, "I'll give you
the money back, but you'll miss
great investment."
335
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,266
And you said,
"Oh, keep the million bucks.
I believe in you."
336
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,183
Yes.
337
00:17:23,183 --> 00:17:25,466
-Oh, hello, sweetheart.
-Hi, hi.
338
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,216
-Hi. [chuckles]
-Oh, it's good to be home.
339
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:31,183
Oh, Maxwell, Nanny Fine has
a million things to tell you.
340
00:17:32,383 --> 00:17:36,500
Well, I've got something
to tell you, sweetheart.
341
00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:38,116
Rodney is flat broke.
342
00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:40,830
Really?
343
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,366
I heard all about him in London.
344
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,400
Appears he's up to his neck
in hock. Heh.
345
00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:49,350
Thank goodness I left before
I invested any money with him.
346
00:17:49,383 --> 00:17:51,250
So, what do you wanna tell me,
sweetheart?
347
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,250
Well, uh...
348
00:17:58,283 --> 00:18:01,660
Rodney came over to the house
349
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,160
and I wrote him out a check
for the million dollars
350
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:08,830
that you just said you were glad
you never gave him.
351
00:18:08,116 --> 00:18:12,466
-And?
-And the worst part of it is
352
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:18,316
he offered to give it
back to me,
and I still didn't take it.
353
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:22,400
Uh, no, sweetheart,
uh, actually,
the worst part of it is
354
00:18:22,433 --> 00:18:25,216
that that door doesn't lock
from your side.
355
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:27,366
Oh!
356
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,216
Okay. Bye.
357
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,830
Well, I decided to go
with my instincts.
358
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:39,250
You know, follow my heart.
359
00:18:39,283 --> 00:18:41,250
I mean, what could possibly
go wrong when you...
360
00:18:41,283 --> 00:18:43,416
[gasps] Oh, my God.
361
00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:46,216
Oh, my God. Oh, boy.
362
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,333
I don't know how you could have
trusted that thief.
363
00:18:49,366 --> 00:18:53,160
It's a good thing the money
doesn't mean that much to you.
364
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:56,183
Let me... [clears thorat]
...try to put this to you
365
00:18:56,216 --> 00:18:58,216
-in a language you
could understand.
-Okay.
366
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:00,830
Uh... [clears throat]
...do you have any idea
367
00:19:00,116 --> 00:19:02,250
-how much
one million dollars is, hmm?
-Uh... Unh.
368
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:05,483
Oh, about 400,000 cartons
of Haagen-Dazs.
369
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,116
Ah!
370
00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:10,200
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
371
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,660
Max, Fran.
372
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:16,300
Where the hell is everything?
373
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:19,183
Back where it belongs.
It's amazing what you can rent.
374
00:19:19,216 --> 00:19:22,183
Oh, listen to me, Rodney.
You owe my wife and me
an explanation.
375
00:19:22,216 --> 00:19:24,283
-Yeah.
-Actually, Maxwell,
376
00:19:24,316 --> 00:19:26,183
I owe your wife a big thanks.
377
00:19:26,216 --> 00:19:27,233
-Hmm?
-Oh.
378
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:29,133
Once everybody heard
you'd invested,
379
00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:31,160
the money poured in
380
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,166
and the deal went down
without a hitch.
381
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:37,266
You, my old school friend,
have just made yourself 500,000.
382
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:40,133
-Oh, I did?
-Yes. Come on.
383
00:19:40,166 --> 00:19:41,416
-We'll call your broker.
-[Maxwell chuckles]
384
00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:44,450
From the kitchen, before they
switch the phone off.
385
00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:48,166
[whisteling]
386
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,133
Oh! You're pretty happy
with yourself, aren't you?
387
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,483
Oh, you know,
all's well that ends well.
388
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,316
Just goes to show,
you gotta be yourself
in this world.
389
00:19:57,350 --> 00:20:00,000
Meanwhile, when are you
gonna start being yourself
390
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:02,133
with that private school lady,
huh?
391
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:04,166
Would you stop already
with that?
392
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,383
God, has anyone ever told you
you're annoying?
393
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:10,283
Just my voice.
394
00:20:10,316 --> 00:20:13,830
You know,
if you're so concerned,
395
00:20:13,116 --> 00:20:16,483
why don't you set
things straight
with the private school lady?
396
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,483
Well, I can't, but if you don't,
397
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,150
I can show your husband
what you're gonna look
like in 30 years.
398
00:20:24,483 --> 00:20:26,316
And I'm not related to a Stooge.
399
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,250
And I don't personally
know Tootie,
400
00:20:28,283 --> 00:20:31,483
and the crab I served
at the party was crab with a K.
401
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,250
But that pianist
really was from Macy's.
402
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:38,250
Well, I appreciate your candor,
403
00:20:38,283 --> 00:20:43,830
-but unfortunately the committee
has decided not to accept Grace.
-Huh.
404
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:46,150
We're giving her spot
to an underprivileged
child from Queens.
405
00:20:46,183 --> 00:20:49,330
But I'm from Queens.
I'm a total schlub.
406
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:50,250
I have no class.
407
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,233
Oh, please take my kid.
408
00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:54,483
Oh, I know
you're classless, dear,
409
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,450
but Grace is still
Maxwell Sheffield's daughter
410
00:20:58,483 --> 00:21:02,300
and the school has
too many children
from privileged backgrounds.
411
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:05,166
So are you saying
that it's Maxwell's fault
412
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,250
that our daughter isn't getting
into the school of her dreams?
413
00:21:08,283 --> 00:21:09,416
Mm-hmm.
414
00:21:09,450 --> 00:21:12,116
Oh, I feel so much better.
415
00:21:13,316 --> 00:21:15,466
-Chocolates?
-Oh!
416
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,483
Worthless.
417
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,200
How could I inherit
an estate that's worthless?
418
00:21:28,233 --> 00:21:29,466
I can't even claim the title,
419
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,266
there's so many damn lawsuits
against it.
420
00:21:33,300 --> 00:21:36,466
Yeah, well, what about me?
I already hired six bridesmaids.
421
00:21:38,483 --> 00:21:40,100
And the worst part,
422
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,133
I maxed out all my credit cards
on a new wardrobe.
423
00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:45,200
It'll take years
to pay them off.
424
00:21:45,233 --> 00:21:50,100
Niles, I'm sorry to interrupt,
but your break's over.
425
00:22:01,433 --> 00:22:03,266
[theme music playing]
426
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:20,416
[theme music ends]