1
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,466
All right now.
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,283
Oh, "What to expect
in your eighth month.
3
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:15,283
Indigestion, heartburn,
bloating,
4
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:19,160
flatulence, nasal congestion."
5
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:23,150
Oh, well, according to this,
my entire family is pregnant.
6
00:00:23,183 --> 00:00:26,330
You know, the worst part
about your pregnancy is going
to be the mood swings.
7
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,300
-Oh.
-I can get very testy.
8
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:30,116
[doorbell rings]
9
00:00:30,150 --> 00:00:32,333
Oh, I'll get it.
I'll get it, sweetie.
It's okay.
10
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,266
Oh, look who this is.
11
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,266
Aunt Freida.
What a surprise.
12
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,333
-Hi, Aunt Freida.
What are you doing here?
-Hi.
13
00:00:39,366 --> 00:00:41,366
[kissing]
14
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,400
-I came by to drop off
your wedding present.
-Oh.
15
00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:47,216
Since I was not invited
to your nuptials.
16
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,100
Or ensuing festivities.
17
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:52,466
Oh, Freida,
we sent you an invitation.
18
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,500
That said,
"You are invited to attend
19
00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:59,000
but forbidden
to sing, Freida."
20
00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:02,116
Well, Ma did want
to personalize
the invitations.
21
00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:05,133
I knew it was all her doing.
22
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,216
She's jealous.
23
00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:08,166
She's jealous
of my singing talent
24
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,000
and of my successful
business investments.
25
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:12,366
What business investments,
Freida?
26
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:16,100
You married a billionaire
who dropped dead
two days later.
27
00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:19,166
All right, so a little luck
was involved.
28
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,660
The point is that Sylvia
has hurt me deeply.
29
00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:23,166
Aw.
30
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,216
But I'm not gonna
take this out on you.
31
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:27,366
[sobbing] Oh, Frannie!
32
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:31,330
You! This SOB bought
our apartment building
33
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:33,000
and threw your father
and me out.
34
00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:35,283
However, your mother
is going to pay!
35
00:01:35,316 --> 00:01:38,166
You are horrible, Freida.
36
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,266
We are never gonna have you
up to our house again.
37
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,383
What house?
38
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:49,300
Your father and I are
practically homeless.
39
00:01:49,333 --> 00:01:51,200
We have to sell everything.
40
00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:54,133
Do you know anyone
who wants to buy
a 40-year-old couch
41
00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:57,416
which, thanks to
plastic slipcovers,
is like brand-new.
42
00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:01,266
Oh, Ma, Ma.
43
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,100
You're not gonna be homeless.
44
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:05,300
Me and Max will
take care of everything.
45
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,416
We figured that.
46
00:02:07,416 --> 00:02:09,166
Morty!
47
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,000
Where do you want me
to put this?
48
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:13,160
Upstairs,
near the bay window.
49
00:02:18,183 --> 00:02:19,483
♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪
50
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,183
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
51
00:02:21,216 --> 00:02:22,350
♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪
52
00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:24,116
♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪
53
00:02:24,150 --> 00:02:25,483
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
54
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,166
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
55
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,400
♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪
56
00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:32,116
♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪
57
00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:34,183
♪ She was there to sell
make-up
But the father saw more ♪
58
00:02:34,216 --> 00:02:36,266
♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪
59
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:37,383
♪ That's how she became ♪
60
00:02:37,416 --> 00:02:40,160
♪ The Nanny ♪
61
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:43,830
♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪
62
00:02:43,116 --> 00:02:45,233
♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪
63
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,400
♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪
64
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,500
♪ Watch out C.C. ♪
65
00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:49,250
♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪
66
00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:50,350
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
67
00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,500
♪ She's the lady in red ♪
68
00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:56,200
♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪
69
00:02:56,233 --> 00:02:58,183
♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪
70
00:02:58,216 --> 00:02:59,316
♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪
71
00:03:09,383 --> 00:03:13,116
Oh, Niles, how am I ever
going to tell Maxwell...
72
00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:15,500
...that my parents
are staying here?
73
00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:18,366
Quickly and
without the negligee.
74
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,133
Maybe I shouldn't
tell him at all.
75
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,133
How long do you think
it'll be before he notices?
76
00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:24,150
Well, not long.
He'll see her here
for breakfast,
77
00:03:24,183 --> 00:03:26,160
he'll see her here for lunch,
he'll see her here for dinner.
78
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,133
So I'm figuring
I got at least six months.
79
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,266
[scoffs]
80
00:03:32,466 --> 00:03:36,216
Oh, darling,
don't you look beautiful.
81
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,150
Mmm, and that perfume.
82
00:03:39,183 --> 00:03:41,333
Oh, I haven't smelled
that perfume
83
00:03:41,366 --> 00:03:44,160
since the last time
you did something wrong.
84
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:45,133
What did you do?
85
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:48,660
Nothing.
86
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:53,500
Can't a wife just put
something on sexy
to entice her husband...
87
00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:56,183
[mumbling]
...when her parents
are moving in?
88
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,200
-What, darling?
-I said, can't a wife
89
00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:06,283
just say over and over again
how much she loves
her husband...
90
00:04:06,316 --> 00:04:09,133
[mumbling]
...when her parents
are moving in?
91
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,166
What do you keep mumbling
into my neck?
92
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,466
[sighs] Okay, all right,
I'll tell you.
93
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,166
But while I'm telling you,
94
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,416
would you please,
just focus on the negligee.
95
00:04:20,283 --> 00:04:23,433
Freida bought Mom and Dad's
building and threw them out
of their apartment.
96
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:29,000
Oh, darling, that's terrible.
Oh, I wish I had known.
97
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:30,466
Well, we have to help them.
What are they gonna do?
98
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,350
Oh, don't worry.
They already found
a new beautiful place to stay.
99
00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:37,300
Well, that's good. Nearby?
100
00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:38,466
Walking distance.
101
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:43,116
Do you use all your closets
in here?
102
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,383
No.
103
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:48,433
Focus on the negligee.
104
00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:56,433
Well, I have to
call the agency.
105
00:04:56,466 --> 00:05:00,150
None of these models
they submitted are right
for our poster.
106
00:05:00,183 --> 00:05:01,366
You know, sir,
107
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,350
if you need an attractive,
photogenic man on camera,
108
00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:06,350
-I can pass for--
-Hume Cronyn?
109
00:05:06,383 --> 00:05:09,166
[laughs]
110
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,830
[clears throat] Niles,
thank you for your offer
111
00:05:11,116 --> 00:05:14,330
but this poster really has
to sell our new show.
112
00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:17,433
We need someone virile,
someone who exudes masculinity.
113
00:05:17,466 --> 00:05:19,216
Oh, well,
then there's your man.
114
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,116
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, sweetheart.
115
00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:26,416
Have you found your virile,
masculine model yet?
116
00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:29,100
Not yet, no.
We shoot tomorrow.
117
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:32,160
Oh. Well, maybe Michael
will know someone.
118
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,233
Honey?
119
00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:37,483
How you doing? What's up?
120
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,283
Margaret.
121
00:05:39,316 --> 00:05:41,283
Maxwell, let me handle this.
122
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,366
You're hired.
123
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,266
The job pays $5000.
124
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:46,300
Sorry, Hume.
125
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:52,383
Well, I don't care.
126
00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:55,450
All those models live
hand-to-mouth.
127
00:05:55,483 --> 00:05:58,283
At least I have skills
to fall back on.
128
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,433
Morning, Ma.
129
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,350
Good morning, darling.
130
00:06:08,383 --> 00:06:12,483
Oh, I'm so happy
that you're going to be here
all the time.
131
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,660
I forgot what it's like
living with my mommy.
132
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,433
Mmm.
133
00:06:16,466 --> 00:06:20,250
Darling, don't you think
your rouge is
a little orangey.
134
00:06:21,383 --> 00:06:23,500
I'm remembering.
135
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,500
What's the matter?
136
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:28,300
Sweetheart,
have you considered bangs?
137
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:29,416
Why?
138
00:06:29,450 --> 00:06:33,160
They took 10 years
off your sister's face.
139
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,383
Ma, it was the eye lift
that took 10 years off.
140
00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:38,283
The bangs just
covered up the scars.
141
00:06:38,316 --> 00:06:43,333
So... [chuckling]
Have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?
142
00:06:43,366 --> 00:06:45,660
Of course you are.
143
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,216
Otherwise, you would be up
at the crack of dawn
144
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,416
making blintzes
for your husband.
145
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:53,466
Little Miss Sleep Till 10:30.
146
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,183
So have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?
147
00:06:59,183 --> 00:07:02,250
Darling, rush and bring these
to your husband.
148
00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:04,830
Tell him you made them.
149
00:07:04,116 --> 00:07:05,400
I don't need the credit.
150
00:07:06,483 --> 00:07:10,830
Ma, you're doing
that thing again.
151
00:07:10,116 --> 00:07:12,400
-What thing?
-You know, that thing
that caused me
152
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:15,233
to weigh 140 pounds
in fifth grade.
153
00:07:16,283 --> 00:07:19,333
Darling, I don't mean
to criticize
154
00:07:19,366 --> 00:07:23,160
but that man
that you married
is a prince.
155
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,433
You should wait on him
hand and foot.
156
00:07:25,466 --> 00:07:28,450
He's a big step up
from anything we thought
157
00:07:28,483 --> 00:07:30,200
you would wind up with.
158
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:40,330
Oh, good, more blintzes.
159
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,383
-They're delicious.
-Thank you, darling.
160
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,183
Fran made them.
161
00:07:48,466 --> 00:07:50,416
What's the matter?
You look so tense.
162
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:53,266
Oh, no, I just got
a slight headache.
That's all.
163
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:57,160
Oy, let Mamala
take care of that.
164
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,316
No, really, it's fine.
Really, it's....
165
00:07:59,350 --> 00:08:01,366
Ooh, that does feel good.
166
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:05,233
Oy, you have beautiful hair.
167
00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:08,150
Morty had gorgeous hair
like this.
168
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:11,400
Till he lost it
at the Pirates of the Caribbean.
169
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:13,830
Whoosh!
170
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,283
Hey, Fran,
about your mother?
171
00:08:21,316 --> 00:08:23,350
What? I said I was glad
she's here!
172
00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:27,500
Yeah, I can see that.
173
00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:30,166
Oh, your father was right.
Your father was right.
174
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,330
Oh, this was a big mistake.
I've already had three muffins,
175
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,500
a box of cereal,
and about 16 puddings,
176
00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:37,483
and I've only been with her
20 minutes today.
177
00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:41,300
Hey, Fran,
what does it mean
when your mother says
178
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:44,216
she likes your sweater
but on somebody else?
179
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:47,200
It means I gotta get her
out of this house.
180
00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:48,416
You know, it'll be fine.
181
00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:51,330
It's all for the best
because I'll be happy.
182
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:52,366
And you know what?
Your father will
be even happier.
183
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,216
Because he wants her out
even more than I do.
184
00:08:56,333 --> 00:09:02,300
♪ Climb upon my knee
Sonny Boy ♪
185
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:06,316
♪ Though you're forty-three
Sonny Boy ♪
186
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:21,200
Honey?
187
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:23,166
Oh, where's Max?
188
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,500
Your mother took him to Sears
to have his portrait taken.
189
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,216
Boy, are they getting clingy.
190
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:33,830
You know, I didn't realize
when I married Max
191
00:09:33,116 --> 00:09:35,330
that I was marrying
my whole family too.
192
00:09:36,416 --> 00:09:39,316
You know,
I know Mr. Sheffield thinks
that I'm too old
193
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:41,660
for the poster
for his new show,
194
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,366
but perhaps
if he saw me in print.
195
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,660
This is your
high school photo.
196
00:09:46,233 --> 00:09:48,116
I know, but I could
look like that again
197
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:50,330
if the lights were
in the perfect position.
198
00:09:50,660 --> 00:09:51,200
Off?
199
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,466
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
I'm just lashing out.
200
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,200
It's Ma.
She has got to go.
201
00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:01,416
Well, why don't you
just tell her that you think
it's time for her to leave?
202
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:04,200
How can I bust up
Harold and Maude?
203
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,350
I don't understand
what happened
all of a sudden.
204
00:10:08,383 --> 00:10:10,250
Why is he so attached to her?
205
00:10:10,283 --> 00:10:12,000
You met his mother.
206
00:10:12,330 --> 00:10:14,333
You saw how
she paid him no attention
at the wedding.
207
00:10:14,366 --> 00:10:16,250
-She wasn't even there.
-Hello.
208
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,330
Don't you see?
He's never been pampered before.
209
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,160
Do you know that
when he was a child
and cried,
210
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,383
his mother left him
out in the garden
until he stopped?
211
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,283
Oh, that's horrible.
212
00:10:27,316 --> 00:10:29,416
Yes, and you wonder
why he clings to Sylvia.
213
00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:32,383
The poor man is starved
for nurturing and affection.
214
00:10:32,416 --> 00:10:34,266
And I can only go so far.
215
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,100
Oh, my poor Maxwell.
216
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:40,416
And here I was too lazy
to get out of bed
217
00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:44,830
and make him a lousy blintz
this morning.
218
00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:45,283
Well, that's all gonna change.
219
00:10:45,316 --> 00:10:48,330
From here on in,
I am going to give him
everything
220
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:50,330
that he was deprived of
as a child.
221
00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:52,183
Love, warmth, comfort.
222
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,433
But first, I'm gonna
make up for him
being bottle-fed.
223
00:11:05,433 --> 00:11:07,150
Oh, God.
224
00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:08,316
Did Niles die?
225
00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:12,400
Honey, can't a wife
order some lunch
from a deli
226
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:15,133
and pretend she made it
for her husband
without a big to-do?
227
00:11:16,183 --> 00:11:18,200
I'm just trying
to pamper your father.
228
00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:21,000
Well, then why didn't you make
the food yourself?
229
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:24,000
Well, because I'm too young
to be a widow.
230
00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:27,366
Oh, he is going
to be so excited
231
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,166
when I show up
at Michael's photo shoot
232
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,350
with this great
special picnic basket.
233
00:11:33,383 --> 00:11:37,400
Fran, these blintzes
are delicious. You have
to give me the recipe.
234
00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:41,183
Val, I already told you
that I'm pretending to make it.
235
00:11:41,216 --> 00:11:43,500
Well, let me tell you
something, girl.
236
00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:44,183
They taste real.
237
00:11:49,266 --> 00:11:52,433
Niles, hurry up!
I'm ready to go
to Michael's photo shoot.
238
00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:56,300
Sweetie, cut the price tag off
of this afghan
that I knitted your father.
239
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,266
Yo.
240
00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:16,100
Niles, Michael was the one
that got the modeling job.
241
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:19,133
Yes, I know, but when
Carol Haney got sick
inThe Pajama Game,
242
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:23,200
Shirley MacLaine went on
in her place and became a star.
243
00:12:23,233 --> 00:12:26,000
Yeah, you know,
it's trivia like that
that really works
244
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:29,300
against this whole
machismo thing
that you're going after.
245
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:30,416
All right. Thank you.
246
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,383
-Wish me luck.
-Good luck.
247
00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:35,216
[door closes]
248
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,250
Come on then, people.
Let's see smiling.
249
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:45,660
Think fun, think passion.
250
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:46,233
Think paychecks.
251
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:52,160
You know,
Michael's working out
very well, Margaret.
252
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,400
I'm glad we hired him.
253
00:12:53,433 --> 00:12:56,483
Yeah, but don't you think
he would look better
without those girls?
254
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,483
-Uh, which ones?
-All of them.
255
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,183
Oh, darling,
don't get jealous.
256
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:04,330
It's just work.
257
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:05,166
Fire them, Daddy.
258
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,466
When's lunch?
259
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,400
Darling, you just had an Altoid.
You can't eat again
until Tuesday.
260
00:13:21,316 --> 00:13:24,366
Oh, Kaitlin,
how many times
do I have to tell you
261
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,183
I'm a married man?
262
00:13:26,216 --> 00:13:29,100
I'll tell Kaitlin,
and then I'll kill her.
263
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,466
Oh, Fran, darling,
what are you doing here?
264
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,216
Oh, sweetie.
265
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,200
I just wanted to pop in
266
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:39,300
and see if you're okay
and tell you
how much I love you
267
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:42,466
and make sure
you're warm and comfortable.
268
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,183
Oh, that's very sweet
of you, darling,
but I'm really very busy.
269
00:13:45,216 --> 00:13:47,330
Haven't had a chance to stop.
270
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,450
[sniffing] Do I smell
your mother's
kugel mit raisins?
271
00:13:50,483 --> 00:13:54,133
Oh, now,
Ma's not the only one
that can cook.
272
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,366
I made this myself.
273
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,316
Now, come sit down
and let me pamper you.
274
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:02,000
-Mmm.
-Fran, why are
you doing this?
275
00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:07,000
Because you were left out
in the garden.
276
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:13,166
Darling, I know that
makes sense in here,
277
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,466
but I'm out here.
278
00:14:17,183 --> 00:14:19,483
Oh, sweetie,
I love you so much.
279
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,233
I just wanna fuss over you
like Ma does.
280
00:14:22,266 --> 00:14:24,330
Yeah, but if
I wanted someone
281
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,216
to cook and clean
and fuss over me,
I'd have married Niles.
282
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:30,166
Oh, and you didn't think
this look worked for me.
283
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,116
Come. Come on, darling.
I have a lot of work
to do here,
284
00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:36,100
so why don't
I just finish up
and you go home,
285
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:39,350
light some candles,
and get the Jacuzzi
ready for us, hmm?
286
00:14:39,383 --> 00:14:41,116
Oh, sweetie, I'd love to,
287
00:14:41,150 --> 00:14:43,200
but, you know,
Mom and Dad booked
the Jacuzzi for tonight.
288
00:14:44,166 --> 00:14:45,200
What do you mean booked?
289
00:14:46,116 --> 00:14:47,383
They made up a schedule.
290
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:51,450
Find that pretty irritating,
don't you?
291
00:14:53,116 --> 00:14:54,183
No, no, I...
292
00:14:54,216 --> 00:14:56,250
I enjoy having
your mother around.
293
00:14:56,283 --> 00:14:58,483
She's a lot of fun.
She makes...
294
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,416
She makes-- Well, all right,
maybe your parents
do have a few quirks.
295
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:05,216
and sometimes I do find it
a little annoying that
I can't use my own Jacuzzi,
296
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,166
my own golf clubs,
my own limo.
297
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,383
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-But...
298
00:15:08,416 --> 00:15:11,660
You see, you want people
living in your house,
299
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:14,366
then you're not gonna
always get the stuff that
you want when you want it.
300
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,166
Remember when you wanted me
and Ma came walking in
301
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,416
withThe Godfather,
one, two and three?
302
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:22,200
Let's just say
for our own sake,
303
00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:24,830
I agree with you,
there's nothing
we can do about it.
304
00:15:24,116 --> 00:15:26,150
Freida kicked your mother out
and that's that.
305
00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:28,330
Yeah.
306
00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:31,266
Unless we could figure out
a way to get Freida
to sing at our wedding.
307
00:15:32,116 --> 00:15:34,250
What?
308
00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:38,166
Honey, you know that camcorder
that we keep in our bedroom?
309
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,133
-Yeah.
-Well, I just figured out
310
00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:42,330
a whole new way to use it.
311
00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:43,100
Love you.
312
00:15:44,283 --> 00:15:46,316
-Did you okay this concept?
-Hmm?
313
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:53,366
[doorbell rings]
314
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,500
Hurry up, Ma!
315
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:56,300
The Good Humor man is here.
316
00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:58,166
I want toasted almond.
317
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:03,160
That's not Ricky,
that's Freida.
318
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:04,266
Oops! My mistake.
319
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:06,350
-Syl.
-Free.
320
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,266
Oh, well, this is off
to a good start.
321
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,450
We're on half-name basis.
322
00:16:10,483 --> 00:16:12,433
Ma, we were very insensitive
323
00:16:12,466 --> 00:16:15,500
to Aunt Freida's feelings
when we told her
324
00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:17,466
-that she couldn't sing
at the wedding.
-I was very hurt.
325
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,330
And I'm not talking to you.
326
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:22,433
You know I have
that exact skirt
in blue.
327
00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:24,116
They make it in blue?
328
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,100
Well, teal,
but mine has
Western stitching.
329
00:16:27,133 --> 00:16:30,200
Ah. I don't look too good
in thatHee-Haw look.
330
00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:32,483
No, you could carry it.
331
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,350
This is how
you say "I'm sorry"
in Jewish.
332
00:16:35,383 --> 00:16:38,330
I'm still not talking to her.
333
00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:41,283
But if you see one in teal,
pick me up one.
334
00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:43,150
All right.
335
00:16:43,183 --> 00:16:46,266
Since Freida wasn't
at the wedding,
I thought it would be nice
336
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:49,283
if we all watched
the wedding video together.
337
00:16:49,316 --> 00:16:53,250
Honey, why don't
you turn it on
and we'll see it.
338
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,200
["Bridal Chorus" playing]
339
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,100
She looks so beautiful.
340
00:17:12,483 --> 00:17:14,150
[blowing nose]
341
00:17:15,216 --> 00:17:16,366
What the hell is this?
342
00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:21,000
That's your ticket home, Ma.
343
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,160
["Hava Nagila" playing]
344
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:25,216
[rhythmic clapping]
345
00:17:27,466 --> 00:17:30,150
[singing in Hebrew]
346
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,000
Listen, I don't wanna say
anything,
347
00:17:48,330 --> 00:17:51,116
but could this chicken
be drier?
348
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:54,660
I'll take the dry chicken
over the fishy salmon.
349
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,400
Mmm. Mmm.
350
00:17:55,433 --> 00:17:59,466
I don't know about you, girls,
but my sea bass is delicious!
351
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,416
[laughing]
352
00:18:06,483 --> 00:18:10,330
"Hey, why doesn't
Aunt Freida sing? She's
better than Lisa Minnelli."
353
00:18:10,660 --> 00:18:12,216
-Liza. Liza Minnelli.
-Liza Minnelli.
354
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,200
[Fran as Sylvia]
I'll have you know,
355
00:18:15,233 --> 00:18:17,116
Freida's the best singer
in the world
356
00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:20,416
and anyone who disagrees
can settle it with me!
357
00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:24,300
Oh, I have a little request
from my darling Sylvala
358
00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:27,300
who's always been
like an older sister to me.
359
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,100
Hit it.
360
00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:32,500
[playing piano]
361
00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:39,450
♪ I remember you ♪
362
00:18:39,483 --> 00:18:45,233
♪ You're the one who made
My dreams come true ♪
363
00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:49,400
♪ A few kisses ago ♪
364
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:58,160
♪ I remember too
A distant bell ♪
365
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:03,500
♪ And stars
That fell like rain ♪
366
00:19:03,830 --> 00:19:07,830
♪Out of the blue
367
00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:12,283
♪When my life is through
368
00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:18,316
♪ And the angels
Ask me to recall ♪
369
00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:25,000
♪ Oh, the thrill of it all ♪
370
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,466
♪ Then I shall tell them ♪
371
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:34,116
♪ I remember ♪
372
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:39,466
♪ You ♪
373
00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:42,300
[people applauding]
374
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:43,350
Thank you.
375
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,183
[sobbing]
376
00:19:45,216 --> 00:19:48,333
-My God, Freida,
that was beautiful.
-Thank you.
377
00:19:48,366 --> 00:19:51,300
Unfortunately,
you can't stop after one number.
378
00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:54,183
There's a Gershwin medley,
a salute to Kander and Ebb--
379
00:19:54,216 --> 00:19:56,416
Oh, Ma, would you just say
"I'm sorry" to Freida?
380
00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:02,150
Does the teal skirt come
with a matching jacket?
381
00:20:10,116 --> 00:20:13,450
I think so,
but I can't promise
that it has Western stitching.
382
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:29,150
Well, darling, you know,
I have to admit,
I'm gonna miss your mother
383
00:20:29,183 --> 00:20:30,433
when she leaves.
384
00:20:32,216 --> 00:20:35,300
♪Climb upstairs with me
Sonny Boy
385
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:39,416
♪The Jacuzzi's finally free
Sonny Boy
386
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:48,330
Love, warmth, comfort.
387
00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:51,660
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being breast-fed.
388
00:21:00,316 --> 00:21:04,660
Love, warmth, support.
389
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,266
But first I'm gonna make up
for him being breast--
390
00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:11,133
[laughing]
391
00:21:11,166 --> 00:21:13,250
Love, warmth, comfort.
392
00:21:13,283 --> 00:21:16,330
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being bottle-fed.
393
00:21:19,450 --> 00:21:21,250
[screaming excitedly]
394
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:47,400
[theme music ends]