1
00:00:05,183 --> 00:00:07,100
[Maxwell] No, no, no.

2
00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:11,350
Oh, boy, I've heard that before.
What'd you do,
ask him to marry you?

3
00:00:11,383 --> 00:00:14,333
No. All I did was ask
if I could go to Atlantic City
with a bunch of guys.

4
00:00:14,366 --> 00:00:18,000
Oh, you know, honey,
he's probably relating to
when he was your age

5
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:19,350
and wild and crazy.

6
00:00:19,383 --> 00:00:20,483
Oh, no, that can't be.

7
00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:25,366
Ehh, you just don't know
how to work
your father like I do.

8
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,183
No. I don't look as good
in a halter top as you do.

9
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:36,216
Fran looked absolutely
breathtaking in her
wedding gown, didn't she?

10
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:37,233
Yeah.

11
00:00:39,483 --> 00:00:41,350
-Are you guys busy?
-Nanny Fine,

12
00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:44,233
I am preparing Maxwell
for a live TV interview.

13
00:00:44,266 --> 00:00:46,400
He doesn't have any time
for your mindless dribble.

14
00:00:46,433 --> 00:00:48,466
Don't you look radiant
this morning.

15
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:54,216
[chuckles]
Well, maybe because you were
so electrifying last night.

16
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:56,316
[clears throat]
When did you start
smoking again?

17
00:00:56,350 --> 00:00:58,366
Somewhere between "I" and "do."

18
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:03,233
Maxwell, I wanna talk to you
about Brighton going to
Atlantic City.

19
00:01:03,266 --> 00:01:06,150
No, no, darling, Brighton and I
have discussed this at length.

20
00:01:06,183 --> 00:01:08,283
He knows how I feel about it
and I'm adamant.

21
00:01:08,316 --> 00:01:09,416
Well, I think that...

22
00:01:09,450 --> 00:01:11,316
-Is adamant good or bad?
-Bad.

23
00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:15,160
I think that we should reopen
the discussion.

24
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:16,300
There is nothing
left to discuss.

25
00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:18,000
I have made up my mind.

26
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,166
He's not going. Case closed.

27
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,333
I'm sorry, Fran.
I didn't mean to cause
a problem between you and Dad.

28
00:01:27,366 --> 00:01:30,200
I don't know if you saw the way
he blew you off like that.

29
00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:33,150
I mean,
it seems to me like he doesn't
respect you or your opinion.

30
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,500
Look, I know what you're doing
and it's not gonna work.

31
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:42,200
Playing one parent
against the other
is the oldest trick in the book.

32
00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:45,660
How could you not respect me
or my opinion?

33
00:01:46,330 --> 00:01:47,133
What are you talking about?

34
00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:48,433
Of course
I respect your opinion.

35
00:01:48,466 --> 00:01:50,433
-Don't I?
-Absolutely, sir.

36
00:01:50,466 --> 00:01:53,233
-Well, maybe when I happen to
agree with you. Right, Niles?
-Absolutely, madam.

37
00:01:53,266 --> 00:01:56,100
-When does her opinion
ever agree with mine?
-Never, sir.

38
00:01:56,133 --> 00:01:58,400
And when has he ever
even asked me my opinion?

39
00:01:58,433 --> 00:01:59,483
Never, ma'am.

40
00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:03,350
Niles, would you just stop
being so wishy-washy?

41
00:02:03,383 --> 00:02:05,366
Would you just say
what you really think?

42
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,300
I can't. You sign my checks.
You keep my secrets.

43
00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:12,183
You hired me first.
But you'll probably live longer.

44
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:15,316
How can I pick
an answer that'll be
most beneficial to Niles?

45
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,200
You know, I knew a little girl
when I was growing up.

46
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:22,350
Her parents didn't let her go
away with her friends.

47
00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:25,333
And do you know what
she ended up doing? Shoplifting.

48
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,000
-Well, what happened to her?
-She married you.

49
00:02:30,466 --> 00:02:34,150
Oh, and you see how marvelously
it turned out for her.

50
00:02:34,183 --> 00:02:36,500
I'm his father.
I know what's best for him.

51
00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:38,330
-And what am I?
-You're the nanny.

52
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:39,500
[gasps]

53
00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:45,160
You called me the N word.

54
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,316
Did you hear that, Niles?

55
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:49,500
-[Niles] Do you get the house
in the settlement?
-Uh-huh.

56
00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:50,100
Every word of it.

57
00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:57,500
<i>♪ She was working</i>
<i>In a bridal shop ♪</i>

58
00:02:57,830 --> 00:02:58,250
<i>♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪</i>

59
00:02:58,283 --> 00:02:59,416
<i>♪ 'Til her boyfriend</i>
<i>Kicked her out ♪</i>

60
00:02:59,450 --> 00:03:01,100
<i>♪ In one of those</i>
<i>Crushing scenes ♪</i>

61
00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:03,330
<i>♪ What was she to do?</i>
<i>Where was she to go? ♪</i>

62
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:05,466
<i>♪ She was out on her fanny ♪</i>

63
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,283
<i>♪ So over the bridge</i>
<i>From Flushing ♪</i>

64
00:03:07,316 --> 00:03:09,100
<i>♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪</i>

65
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:11,266
<i>♪ She was there to sell make-up</i>
<i>But the father saw more ♪</i>

66
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:13,233
<i>♪ She had style!</i>
<i>She had flair!</i>
<i>She was there ♪</i>

67
00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:14,266
<i>♪ That's how she became ♪</i>

68
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,133
<i>♪ The Nanny ♪</i>

69
00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:20,660
<i>♪ Who would have guessed</i>
<i>That the girl we described ♪</i>

70
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,283
<i>♪ Was just exactly</i>
<i>What the doctor prescribed? ♪</i>

71
00:03:22,316 --> 00:03:23,466
<i>♪ Now, the father</i>
<i>Finds her beguiling ♪</i>

72
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,100
<i>♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪</i>

73
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:26,316
<i>♪ And the kids</i>
<i>Are actually smiling ♪</i>

74
00:03:26,350 --> 00:03:27,433
<i>♪ Such joie de vivre ♪</i>

75
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:29,133
<i>♪ She's the lady in red ♪</i>

76
00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:32,150
<i>♪ When everybody else</i>
<i>Is wearing tan ♪</i>

77
00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:35,316
<i>♪ The flashy girl</i>
<i>From Flushing ♪</i>

78
00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:36,433
<i>♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪</i>

79
00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:40,350
[Hawaiian music playing]

80
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,350
I hate theme day at the home.

81
00:03:51,383 --> 00:03:54,266
And why do they always have
to pick Hawaii?

82
00:03:56,283 --> 00:03:59,350
Well, maybe so
everybody could wear
their regular clothes.

83
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,150
Yetta, I wanted to talk to you.
Me and Max had a fight.

84
00:04:04,183 --> 00:04:06,283
Oh, honey, you better start
drinking some more milk.

85
00:04:06,316 --> 00:04:08,200
You're getting a real
hump back here.

86
00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:11,116
No, I put
my brassiere on backwards.

87
00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:14,433
It's easier to hook it
in the front.

88
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:20,333
So, I'm thinking maybe I came to
the wrong place for advice.

89
00:04:21,466 --> 00:04:23,333
So why are you here?

90
00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:27,300
Well, I wanted to talk to you
because I knew Ma
would have a conniption

91
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:30,100
if she knew that me and Maxwell
already had a fight.

92
00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:31,466
Oh, my God.

93
00:04:33,283 --> 00:04:35,316
What did you do to my son?

94
00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:38,266
Ma, what are you doing here?

95
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,250
I've never been to Hawaii.

96
00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:44,133
You should go back
and beg forgiveness.

97
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:47,250
-Why do you always
take his side?
-You're right.

98
00:04:47,283 --> 00:04:49,200
At your age,
with your background,

99
00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:51,450
there are plenty of
millionaire producers.

100
00:04:51,483 --> 00:04:54,266
All right, I get the point.

101
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:59,300
Meanwhile, I want him to start
thinking of me as his equal,
not as his nanny.

102
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,166
Whatever turns him on.

103
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,466
Your father used to like me
to dress up like a French maid.

104
00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:10,366
With Grandpa, it was Heidi.

105
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:16,330
He'd put his hair
in little braids.

106
00:05:19,183 --> 00:05:22,166
I'd put on the long beard.

107
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:29,433
Well, I'm beginning to see
the future and it ain't pretty.

108
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,283
Oh, Ma, what am I gonna do?

109
00:05:33,316 --> 00:05:37,830
I mean, I want Maxwell
to stop thinking of me
as his nanny

110
00:05:37,116 --> 00:05:39,166
and start thinking of me
as his wife.

111
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,500
Well, act like his wife.

112
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:44,416
If you don't get what you want,
deny him his...

113
00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:47,183
woo-wee.

114
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,830
Ma, I'm a grown woman.

115
00:05:51,116 --> 00:05:52,300
You could say the real word

116
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:55,116
and I'm not gonna deny him
the bing-bing.

117
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,333
Your mother's right.

118
00:05:59,366 --> 00:06:03,450
I've been holding out
on your grandfather
for the past 25 years.

119
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,133
But he's been dead for 26.

120
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:09,400
Don't judge me.

121
00:06:16,316 --> 00:06:20,216
[thinking]
<i>All right, I'm gonna give</i>
<i>this holding-out thing a shot.</i>

122
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:23,116
<i>I figure 20 minutes,</i>
<i>he'll say, "I'm sorry"</i>

123
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,466
<i>and be begging for bing-bing.</i>

124
00:06:27,116 --> 00:06:29,100
<i>The man is gonna</i>
<i>want me so much.</i>

125
00:06:29,133 --> 00:06:33,500
<i>When I deny him,</i>
<i>he's gonna go crazy.</i>

126
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:35,250
[door opens]

127
00:06:35,283 --> 00:06:38,116
Hello, darling. I've been
thinking about this afternoon

128
00:06:38,150 --> 00:06:41,830
and I really do think
I made the right decision

129
00:06:41,116 --> 00:06:42,483
about not letting Brighton go.

130
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,233
[Fran thinking]
<i>Oh, you do, do you?</i>

131
00:06:45,266 --> 00:06:49,250
<i>Well, you haven't seen</i>
<i>this pose.</i>

132
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:53,183
Well, honey, if that's
the way you feel,
that's the way you feel.

133
00:06:54,466 --> 00:06:56,133
[thinking]<i>Oh, here he comes.</i>

134
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,366
<i>No, no, no.</i>

135
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,433
<i>Oh, does he smell delicious.</i>

136
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:07,300
Well, I'm glad you understand
how I feel, sweetheart.

137
00:07:07,333 --> 00:07:11,116
Isn't it wonderful
how we're communicating
as a married couple?

138
00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:13,383
[Fran thinking]
<i>What'd he say? Oh, who cares?</i>

139
00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:15,266
<i>Is that a tushy.</i>

140
00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:18,433
-Don't you think so?
-Yeah.

141
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,233
So how was your day at Yetta's?

142
00:07:22,266 --> 00:07:24,466
How much can a woman take?

143
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,500
Well, I know those homes
can be a little depressing

144
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,316
but, you know,
Yetta forgets that she's there.

145
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:33,330
So every day
is like a new adventure for her.

146
00:07:34,233 --> 00:07:37,216
Well, I've got
an early start tomorrow.

147
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,433
<i>And here comes the robe.</i>

148
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,250
Good night, sweetheart.

149
00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:49,233
[Fran thinking]
<i>Oh, God, I can't</i>
<i>take it anymore.</i>

150
00:07:49,266 --> 00:07:51,330
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

151
00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:02,333
Ooh! Harry Winston earrings.

152
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:06,366
I see denying your husband
worked out beautifully.

153
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,483
Oh, Ma, of all the times
that I ignored your advice,

154
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,333
this was the best time
I ever had.

155
00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,250
What do you mean
you didn't take my advice?

156
00:08:16,283 --> 00:08:19,366
Why couldn't you
hold out like I do?

157
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,466
Because my husband
looks like James Bond

158
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,466
and your husband
looks like James Coco.

159
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,316
James Coco? I wish.

160
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,330
Well, I gotta go now.

161
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:37,316
I've got a very important thing
to take care of before dinner.

162
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,366
-What?
-Lunch.

163
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,483
What are you doing here?
I thought you were
gonna go with Maxwell

164
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,100
to<i>Entertainment Tonight.</i>

165
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:49,466
Oh, you know how he gets.

166
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,366
He said, "Darling,
you know I want you by my side.,

167
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,183
but I'd just be so nervous

168
00:08:54,216 --> 00:08:57,233
knowing someone I loved
was watching me so closely."

169
00:08:57,266 --> 00:09:00,000
Yeah, I know,
I was standing next to you.
He was talking to me.

170
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:05,233
"Where the hell
are my manila envelopes?"
That was to you.

171
00:09:05,266 --> 00:09:09,160
Oh, look, he's on. He's on.
You know, he really wanted me
to be by his side.

172
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,830
But he said he'd be
too nervous having me
watching him so closely.

173
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,466
[both] He was talking to me.

174
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,433
Okay. Let's get this straight.

175
00:09:15,466 --> 00:09:19,000
Wife, butler,
manila envelope getter.

176
00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:21,160
Shh!

177
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,500
He's on. Oh, he looks good.

178
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,433
In control, no nervous laughter.

179
00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:27,333
[nervous laughter]

180
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:30,266
<i>-It's great</i>
<i>to have you here, Maxwell.</i>
<i>-Oh, thanks, Bob.</i>

181
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:33,000
<i>Yeah. Now, we're gonna get to</i>
<i>your new show</i>
<i>in just a second.</i>

182
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,233
<i>But I understand that</i>
<i>congratulations are in order.</i>

183
00:09:35,266 --> 00:09:37,300
[nervous laughter]

184
00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,150
<i>You're laughing. Why?</i>

185
00:09:39,183 --> 00:09:42,216
<i>-Oh. Am I?</i>
<i>-Well, yeah.</i>

186
00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:46,150
<i>Well, anyway,</i>
<i>congratulations to you</i>
<i>and the new Mrs. Sheffield.</i>

187
00:09:46,183 --> 00:09:48,133
<i>-It's great.</i>
<i>-Who?</i>

188
00:09:48,166 --> 00:09:50,330
<i>Oh, oh, my nanny.</i>

189
00:09:50,660 --> 00:09:52,830
<i>Right. What,</i>
<i>you married your nanny?</i>

190
00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:54,233
<i>No, no. No, she...</i>
<i>Not my nanny.</i>

191
00:09:54,266 --> 00:09:55,483
<i>She used to be my nanny.</i>
[nervous laughter]

192
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,830
<i>Well, what does she do now?</i>

193
00:09:58,116 --> 00:10:00,250
<i>Same thing she did</i>
<i>when she was my nanny. Nothing.</i>

194
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:05,466
<i>Oh, no, I mean, not my wife.</i>
<i>My nanny did nothing.</i>

195
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,660
<i>My wife is, uh...</i>

196
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,383
[chokes]
<i>Hope you're not seeing this.</i>

197
00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:18,433
Oh, you poor woman.

198
00:10:18,466 --> 00:10:20,466
For a husband
to treat his wife that way.

199
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,116
You see, that is why
I never got married.

200
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:24,133
Yeah, that's why.

201
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:33,200
-Hi, Val.
-Oh, Fran, I saw<i>ET</i>

202
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,330
I am so sorry.

203
00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,300
But don't worry,
I got the perfect solution.

204
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:39,383
Oh, no, it's okay.
We made up last night.

205
00:10:39,416 --> 00:10:42,216
He was just nervous.
It was a slip of the tongue.

206
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,830
Is that a new necklace?

207
00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:46,830
-Yeah. Matches the earrings.
-[gasps]

208
00:10:48,433 --> 00:10:50,450
I think Maxwell
is beginning to realize

209
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:54,216
that he cannot afford
to keep making these mistakes.

210
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,433
Oh, what was your solution?

211
00:10:57,466 --> 00:11:00,100
Well, I've been
thinking about it

212
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:03,216
and he's always gonna see you
as the nanny until...

213
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,300
Until what?

214
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:08,233
Well, that's as far as
I thought it out.

215
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:14,183
How about until
I hire another nanny?

216
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:17,133
Sure. Easy after I gave you
the first part.

217
00:11:17,166 --> 00:11:20,330
No, I already hired one,
for your information.

218
00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:21,200
And it wasn't easy either.

219
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:24,216
Finding a woman that's great
with the kids like I am

220
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,133
and gets along with Maxwell.

221
00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:28,500
Because, you know,
while he's working at the house,

222
00:11:28,830 --> 00:11:29,250
he's gonna see
a lot of her.

223
00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:33,450
Good morning, Mrs. Sheffield.

224
00:11:33,483 --> 00:11:36,830
Good morning, Nanny Bower.

225
00:11:36,116 --> 00:11:37,250
Would you like a biscuit?

226
00:11:37,283 --> 00:11:39,416
Oh, no. That would not be
proper etiquette

227
00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:43,330
for the nanny to sit down
and eat with her employers.

228
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:45,283
I guess I cut
Nanny College that day.

229
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:51,183
You know, if you don't mind,
I think that I will just go
and pick up Grace from ballet

230
00:11:51,216 --> 00:11:53,166
and take Brighton
to the dentist.

231
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:57,233
When are you gonna do
your nails and your hair,
and go shopping at Loehmann's?

232
00:11:57,266 --> 00:12:00,183
I do all that
on my day off, ma'am.

233
00:12:00,216 --> 00:12:01,433
[Fran] Day off?
Oh, that's novel.

234
00:12:01,466 --> 00:12:03,183
I never thought of that.
Oh, well.

235
00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:05,416
[door closes]

236
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:09,450
Well, I guess
I'm a lady of leisure, Val.

237
00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:12,333
-Now I just gotta figure out
what a lady of leisure does.
-Yeah.

238
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,366
Oh, Niles.

239
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,483
Tell me, what did the first
Mrs. Sheffield do
with all of her free time?

240
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:24,200
Well, she loved to do her own
dusting, cleaning,
and vacuuming.

241
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:28,350
All right, she spent
a lot of time at a country club.

242
00:12:28,383 --> 00:12:32,383
Oh, that sounds lovely.

243
00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:35,250
-Say, I wonder if they've got
a water slide.
-Ooh!

244
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:51,433
Gee, I'm beginning to think
that I'm the first brunette

245
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:54,830
that's ever been
allowed in this club.

246
00:12:54,116 --> 00:12:56,250
So you're not enjoying
your first day here?

247
00:12:56,283 --> 00:12:59,183
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm a little turned off.

248
00:12:59,216 --> 00:13:01,383
I mean, no one's playing
Marco Polo in the pool.

249
00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:05,500
And for the clubhouse,
no comedienne.

250
00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:07,330
And you'd think
with a place like this

251
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:11,333
they'd have at least one
<i>Pac-Man</i>

252
00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:13,450
What do people do around here?

253
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:20,000
Well, when in Rome.

254
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,350
Can I have a mochachino
blended with Equal please?

255
00:13:22,383 --> 00:13:24,500
Make it a venti.

256
00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:35,150
[imperceptible]

257
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:33,150
[Grace] Fran.

258
00:14:34,116 --> 00:14:36,160
Dad, have you seen Fran?

259
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,250
Oh, now, Grace,

260
00:14:37,283 --> 00:14:41,433
you can't go on running off
to Fran for every little thing.

261
00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:44,450
She's no longer the nanny,
you know.
She's my wife now.

262
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:47,350
Wow, one night on the couch
sure whipped you into shape.

263
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,660
I did not spend
the night on the couch.

264
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,830
Fran and I made up.

265
00:14:54,116 --> 00:14:57,216
Now, why don't you let me
help you with your problem, hmm?

266
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,366
Well, Dad, um...

267
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,150
all my friends
are already on their cycles.

268
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:09,250
Why aren't I?

269
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:13,233
Well, you see, we didn't have to
bother Fran with that.

270
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:16,660
I'll buy you a bicycle.

271
00:15:20,283 --> 00:15:22,466
Dad, I'm talking about
my period.

272
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,150
Fran, darling.

273
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,300
Fran.

274
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,200
Mrs. Sheffield
is at the club, sir.

275
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:34,330
Is there something
I can do for you?

276
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,000
Oh, no, no. Thank you.

277
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:39,200
You know, sir, nobody
seems to need me
for anything around here.

278
00:15:39,233 --> 00:15:42,366
I mean if you don't
mind my asking,
what did the last nanny do?

279
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,383
Oh.

280
00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:46,500
Well, she, um...

281
00:15:46,830 --> 00:15:47,266
She would, uh...

282
00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:50,266
Uh...

283
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:53,150
Niles, um...

284
00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:56,830
Well, in addition to tending
to the children,

285
00:15:56,116 --> 00:15:59,150
her duties were dusting,
cleaning, vacuuming.

286
00:16:00,466 --> 00:16:03,500
Oh, no, I am onto you.

287
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,830
Your daughter C.C. warned me
about your shenanigans.

288
00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:14,450
Well, um... [clears throat]
Actually, besides
taking care of the children,

289
00:16:14,483 --> 00:16:19,250
I suppose the nanny
would make sure the tie
that she picked out for me

290
00:16:19,283 --> 00:16:22,200
matched the shoes
that she had picked out for me.

291
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:28,330
Uh, then she'd make reservations
for dinner for myself
and, um, her.

292
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:29,166
Uh...

293
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,300
Then sometimes when I was
working late at night,

294
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,250
she'd come in here
to the office,

295
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,000
jump up on my desk...

296
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:39,000
cross her legs
in a most enticing manner.

297
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,350
Well, I... suppose...

298
00:16:45,416 --> 00:16:47,450
God, no, no, no.

299
00:16:47,483 --> 00:16:49,416
Not necessary. No.

300
00:16:51,133 --> 00:16:52,133
Uh...

301
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:56,400
Hated that.
Didn't care for it at all. No.

302
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,830
You know,
it's really none of my business,

303
00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:02,450
but it sounds to me like she was
more of a wife than a nanny.

304
00:17:02,483 --> 00:17:05,830
Well, that's why I married her.

305
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:09,166
Oh, I was under the impression
that your nanny was a nightmare.

306
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,400
-Who in the devil told you that?
-Your first wife. C.C.

307
00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:25,383
-Hi, honey.
-Thank God you're home.

308
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:28,330
I went up to Dad and I was
completely honest with him

309
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:31,166
and I told him that I wanted to
spend the night over
at my boyfriend's house.

310
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,000
And he said no.

311
00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:36,350
You were completely honest
with your father?

312
00:17:36,383 --> 00:17:40,433
Oh, honey, one day I'm gone
and already this whole place
is falling apart.

313
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:44,216
Fran, I mean, I'm 20 years old.

314
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:46,250
I mean, doesn't Dad know that...

315
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,433
Well, you know...

316
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,250
I'm active.

317
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,330
You're doing the bing-bing?

318
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:58,300
Honey, you know...

319
00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:00,400
I love that you feel
so comfortable

320
00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:02,383
that you want to be
totally honest with me,

321
00:18:02,416 --> 00:18:06,266
so let me be
totally honest with you.

322
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:09,160
Get upstairs.
What are you, crazy?

323
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,383
And you're never
leaving the house again.

324
00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:14,433
-Oh, darling, you're back.
-Hi, sweetie.

325
00:18:14,466 --> 00:18:18,416
-How was your day
as a lady of leisure?
-You know, not good.

326
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:21,316
Oh, I'm sorry. Well, if you
didn't enjoy yourself,
you don't have to go back there.

327
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:25,660
Good, because we're not
allowed there anymore.

328
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:29,350
Darling, as a matter of fact,
I was gonna come down
to the club and bring you home.

329
00:18:29,383 --> 00:18:31,350
-Grace has a little problem.
-Oh?

330
00:18:31,383 --> 00:18:34,350
It seems that she's the only one
of her classmates

331
00:18:34,383 --> 00:18:38,450
whose "friend"
hasn't visited her.

332
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,330
Oh, honey, you're so archaic.

333
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:44,266
I learned that at the club.

334
00:18:46,383 --> 00:18:48,233
Anyway, don't worry,
I'll talk to her.

335
00:18:48,266 --> 00:18:51,400
I'll simply explain to her
the longer her "friend"
takes to visit,

336
00:18:51,433 --> 00:18:53,133
the happier we'll all be.

337
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:56,316
Who ate the last Nutter Butter?

338
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,216
And why don't we have
any backup?

339
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,383
Oh-ho-ho-ho.

340
00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:05,830
Well, welcome to hell, honey.

341
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,660
I'm so glad you're home.

342
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,660
Oh, you and me both, sweetie.

343
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,316
You know, I'm not cut out
to be one of those fancy wives

344
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:18,133
whose nanny knows their kids
better than they do.

345
00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:19,283
I wanna be the nanny.

346
00:19:19,316 --> 00:19:23,100
Oh, and I want you
to be the nanny.

347
00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,450
That's who I fell in love with.

348
00:19:24,483 --> 00:19:27,416
That's who's raised my kids
so beautifully.

349
00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:30,500
And that's who
I wanted to marry me.

350
00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:33,366
Oh, what a sweet thing to say.
I love you.

351
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,183
I love you, my darling.

352
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:39,333
Oh, good, you guys made up.

353
00:19:39,366 --> 00:19:41,366
I gotta tell you,
I was torturing myself.

354
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,350
I mean, I'm upstairs,
I'm beginning to think

355
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,200
this entire thing
was all my fault.

356
00:19:45,233 --> 00:19:48,283
But yet, here you are,
you're trying to raise me
as a very mature--

357
00:19:48,316 --> 00:19:51,233
You're still not going to
Atlantic City.

358
00:19:51,266 --> 00:19:54,266
Yeah, well... Okay. Yeah.

359
00:19:58,233 --> 00:20:00,450
See, darling,
we are both equals.

360
00:20:00,483 --> 00:20:02,300
-Mmm.
-He hates us both.

361
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,450
Well, you know, I think that
I could be very happy

362
00:20:06,483 --> 00:20:08,433
being the nanny and your wife.

363
00:20:08,466 --> 00:20:12,000
Well, what do you say
I take the two of you upstairs?

364
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:14,366
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.

365
00:20:16,233 --> 00:20:19,166
You're embarrassing me.

366
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,283
Which one do you want
to be wearing this?

367
00:20:30,216 --> 00:20:32,166
Could you just excuse me
for one moment, please?

368
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,383
The agency sent
another nanny over.

369
00:20:35,416 --> 00:20:38,000
Well, just tell her that
we're not replacing
Nanny Bowers.

370
00:20:38,330 --> 00:20:40,133
Oh, please, couldn't we just
hire her for the day?

371
00:20:40,166 --> 00:20:43,166
The cast of<i>All My Children</i>
is signing pictures
at the Paramus Mall.

372
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:47,300
-Niles. Erica Kane coming?
-Mm-hmm.

373
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:50,300
Oh, I guess
we're hiring a new nanny.

374
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,316
Hi.

375
00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:01,283
I'm sorry, but the position
has already been filled.

376
00:21:01,316 --> 00:21:03,830
-Thank you very much.
-Ah, but--

377
00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:07,150
Are you out of your mind?

378
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,483
[theme music playing]

379
00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:29,433
[theme music ends]