[theme music]
[instrumental music]
I think it's done.
Hmm. This is terrific!
Say that after you taste it.
No, I mean...us
here in the kitchen cooking dinner together.
Not too normal for you?
Routine? Dull?
[chuckles] I live for normal
thrive on routine and as for dull
that word just does not exist when I'm with you.
Well, in that case, after dinner
you're in for a very special dessert.
Ooh.
Wanna give it a quick check before we get comfortable?
Hmm.
Sounds pretty quiet out there.
Superman may actually have the night off.
Bon appetit.
Hmm. It's great!
'Tangy. Crispy.'
Just the right combination.
Cuts like butter.
Sure. You're Superman.
Isn't London broil supposed to be pink in the middle?
I-I can see pink.
Where?
- Well, right there. - That tiny, infinitesimal dot?
It's a pink dot, honey.
It's a disaster. Clark, face it, I can't cook.
Oh, Lois, I didn't fall in love with you
because of your cooking.
Stop the presses.
I fell in love with you because of you.
Put another way
I bought the whole house
not just the kitchen.
And believe me, there are other rooms
where you rate five stars.
Let's skip right to dessert.
Hmm.
(Bertha) 'Help!'
'Go away! Go away!'
'Help me! Help me!'
'Go away!'
Go away! Go away!
It's Bertha Emory.
Help!
(Bertha) 'No! No!'
[screaming]
Now, Bertha, you should never try flying without Superman.
[eerie music]
[theme music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
[knock on door]
(Mink) 'Stax?'
'I hear you in there.'
'Open the door.'
Mink.
You're a tough man to find, Herbie.
This is your fourth move in the last month.
Oh, well, ambiance is everything.
'Hey, think I finally found it.'
What's all this?
Uh, it's a...a ghost.
A ghost?
I hate that new age music. Enough!
Bad news, Herbie.
The boys voted to clip you.
For what? I got you in on the ground floor, didn't I?
You sold us an entire block of Brownstones
'so as we could set up a mall.'
You didn't even own those buildings.
The ownership papers were fake.
O-okay.
Yes, maybe there's one small flaw in the deal.
Nobody scams us.
I sold those deeds of trust
to a retirement fund for widows and orphans.
How should I know it was controlled
by the biggest crime family in the city?
Everybody makes a mistake, Herbie.
- This one's...yours. - Hey! Ha!
I'm working my butt off to square things
make things right with my partners.
- Let me show you. - Unh-unh.
Gently.
Trust deed, to number 27.
Bertha Emory's place?
The old bat sold?
Went on the market this morning.
She said she'd never budge.
Yeah, but then she saw ghosts.
Soon, I'll own every Brownstone on the block.
Who's next?
Uh, the Kents. It's a young newly-wed couple.
They should be out of there by tomorrow morning.
- It's a piece of cake. - I don't know.
I come back without popping you, I get popped.
No, no, see, not if you present the deal correctly.
Point out to your associates
that available parcels of prime real estate like this
are practically non-existent in the city.
That this is one of the only block zoned
for retail development in the entire area.
In short, they are just one surefire scheme away
from a gold mine and the wise man that decided against
popping the possessor of that scheme was you.
Stand tall, Mink. Stand proud.
You're about to turn the corner on to easy street.
Did the crime lab find anything unusual in Mrs. Emory's house?
Anything to explain why she took a high-dive out the window?
Trust me, it wasn't a suicide attempt. I was there.
Clark...was carving a roast.
Lois, some French guy says
'you called him about a cooking lesson?'
Shh, shh! He's a famous chef.
- I can barely understand him. - Uh, yes, yes.
Tell him I'll be with him tout de suite.
Well, if you hear anything else, just give me a buzz.
Monsieur Bouchard, enchante.
Thank you for returning my call.
See, the problem is, I've never been really
interested in cooking.
Well, I would hardly call it a crime against humanity.
I just have been more interested in my career.
Uh, the thing is, I'm married now, and it's, it's a little
embarrassing serving dinner from takeout cartons.
So I-I was wondering, could you give me cooking lessons?
Hello?
Mon ami?
Bertha Emory listed her house this morning.
It sold in less than an hour.
Wow! The market must be picking up.
Remember that real estate agent that called?
He said he had a buyer that would die
if he didn't get our Brownstone.
Poor Mrs. Emory!
She must've sold because of what happened last night.
She claimed that her place was haunted.
Haunted? As in..
Ghosts.
Ghosts? That's ridiculous.
Isn't it?
[indistinct chatter]
(Mink) 'Herbie?'
Stax!
From what I hear these Kents you're gonna scare away
are well-known reporters for "The Planet."
They may not scare so easy.
Very perceptive, Mink. I like that in a thug.
And because they're the Kents
I've decided to amp up my efforts.
How?
Do you know anything about the black arts?
Witchcraft, devil worship, human sacrifice?
Sounds like my second marriage.
Look, I'm all stocked up.
I got black mass candles, satanic symbols
book of incantations, tannis root powder, rubber snakes
the guy sold me the whole kit.
By the time I'm through with them
the Kents will think an entire witches' coven
has moved in and taken over.
And you add to that my special effects
and they will be begging me
to take the place off their hands.
Let me impress one thing on you, Herbie.
You got 48 hours.
If this thing don't work, next time we meet
one of us will be dead.
Boy, you just can't buy that kind of encouragement!
[upbeat music]
♪ Where black is black ♪
♪ The cat turned back ♪
♪ He's black.. ♪
♪ And now he's back ♪♪
[eerie music]
[keys jingling]
[eerie music]
[dog barking]
Oh, no, puppy, don't!
[screams]
Superman!
Hi, honey. I was in mid-emergency. What is it?
- I don't know. - You don't know?
If I knew, I wouldn't need your help.
Lois!
Something intense
is happening in the kitchen.
(Lois) 'Well?'
Demonic symbols
'black mass candles'
an incantation book.
(Lois) 'What about the pots and pans?'
(Clark) Hanging neatly from the rack.
Who do you suppose did this?
- Vandals? - Vandals!
Clark, pots and pans were whizzing around the room.
By themselves?
I know how it sounds.
There must be some rational explanation.
I am all for that. Go ahead.
I'll accept almost anything.
Barometric pressures, wind currents, sun spots?
Afraid not.
Your turn.
Fatigue and emotional trauma?
What emotional trauma?
Although it was no real big deal to me
you seemed pretty upset
by last night's...London broil.
What?
Clark!
After everything we've been through
invading aliens, alternate universes
machines that suck the youth out of you
you think the one thing
that's gonna make me see flying pots is...meat?
[sighs]
Man.
Aw, man!
[eerie music]
Aah!
What a dump!
I always wanted to say that
but I was never in a place awful enough.
Who are you? What are you?
Why are you? And most important, why are you here?
- You set me free. - It was a mistake.
It wasn't me, it was all that crap I bought.
I just wanted to thank you.
'I've been in this strange state of limbo'
ever since my death.
I was murdered, you know.
Oh, well, you're welcome.
Now, do I open the door, or you just slither underneath?
Well, how long have I been dead?
There was no way of telling in there.
Well, who...who was The President when you died?
Oh, I never followed politics.
Well, who...won the Super Bowl?
Well, I wasn't into sports.
Well...what was your favorite TV show?
Well, I didn't really watch television.
Oh, no wonder somebody killed you. You were a real drag.
I must find my killer, avenge my death
so that I can pass over to the other side.
The other side? What's on the other side?
- Don't you know? - Who, me?
Well, you must be a very powerful medium
to have released me the way you did.
Are you my master?
Master?
Uh, yeah, master. That's it.
You got it, sister.
And, uh, you have to do everything I say
or I'm gonna put you back in that wall.
Yes, master, anything you say.
Ooh, I like the sound of that.
Uh, now, in time
if you are a good and faithful servant
I will discover the identity of your killer
so you can be free.
You can do that?
Yeah, I'm a master medium, remember?
[knock on door]
(Mink) Hey, Herbie, let go of the door!
You didn't call me, Herbie.
And when I phoned over here
they says you wasn't taking any calls.
And I had to leave my nice, warm apartment
to find out how it went tonight.
I'll know in the morning how successful I was.
Say, listen...do you notice anything
different about the place?
It's even uglier than I remembered.
Look, stink, don't pressure me.
Quit following me around.
What did you say?
I'm tired of you breathing down my neck.
So why don't you be a good little hit man and go home
and I'll call you when I need you.
Who the hell do you think you are?
'You can't get away with that!'
Nobody talks to me like that!
[screaming]
I shouldn't have done that.
Well, your wish is my command.
Huh, yeah, don't you forget it.
Now get back over to the Kents and scare the hell out of them.
- Why? - Oh, because I said so.
Oh, that's good enough for me.
[laughs]
[instrumental music]
Oh.
Oh, I was dreaming about pots whizzing around the kitchen.
Do you get the feeling we're not alone?
No.
Pots don't fly by themselves. We agree on that.
Absolutely.
You know, our neighbor moved out of her house
because she thought it was haunted
then you come home and find eerie symbols and props.
So I'm primed to see something...horrific
which I do.
She was frightened out of her house and immediately sold.
We get a call from a real estate agent
wanting to buy our place
and now, strange, spooky stuff starts showing up here.
So somebody's trying to scare us into selling?
It worked on Mrs. Emory.
Well, I guess it's a relief to feel like we're up against
a real, live, flesh and blood adversary.
[laughs] See, I told you
there was a rational explanation.
I'm glad you realize I'm not in the habit of seeing things.
- Right. - I mean, I'm a pro, right?
Of course.
My job is to observe..
...calmly..
...and rationally.
[gasps] Oh, my God!
- You didn't see that? - 'See what?'
It-it just vanished into the wall.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna look into the wall.
Well, I don't think X-raying's gonna do any good.
What do you mean?
I don't think you can X-ray a-a..
A-a what?
A ghost, Clark.
A ghost.
They were ready for bed, for God sake, kissing!
Look, you better get a lot thicker skin
if you're gonna be in the real estate business.
Why do I have to terrify them?
They seem like such a nice young couple.
I want them out of the Brownstone!
Why?
Since when do you ask questions?
I'm the master, you're the servant, remember?
I'd like to think of us as partners.
- Oh, you do? - Yes.
- Fine with me. - Really?
Absolutely, since you're dead
you can be the silent partner!
Now, get back out there and do your stuff
or I'll never reveal your murderer to you
even though I am real close to finding out who it is.
And you will spend the rest of eternity
squeezed between five inches of molding plaster!
Gotcha.
[instrumental music]
Lois, you okay?
Oh, sure.
You didn't get much sleep last night, honey.
[chuckles] What is all this?
Just a little morning sunshine I whipped up.
Sorry about last night.
Things look a lot less spooky in daylight.
Sit. Eat.
Well, it all looks delicious.
Hmm. Ooh.
Oh, it tastes great, honey.
Wonderful!
Wow, must be some cookbook you're reading!
You know, I've been thinking.
All that yucky stuff that happened.
Hmm?
It could take a long time, ages
to find out who's at the bottom of trying to drive us out.
We do have an interested buyer.
It's not like we've put down roots here.
What do you say we just sell, avoid all the aggravation
and get a good night's sleep?
Honey, that's not us.
We can't be intimidated like that.
I can be intimidated if I want, and I want.
In fact, I've already signed the escrow papers.
What escrow papers?
Remember that person who was interested
in buying our house?
Honey, you already signed papers?
If this marriage is going to work
we're going to have to divide up the chores.
So you take out the garbage, I'll sign the papers.
I don't know what's going on here, honey
but we need to talk about--
Listen, four-eyes, don't get up
from that table again until
you've finished every last bite
of your breakfast!
Honey, I think last night affected you
a little bit more than you're willing to admit.
If you love me, you'll sign.
If you want to love me, ditto.
Clark, don't you dare sign!
(as Katie) Sign, damn it, or I'll never make you another meal!
Don't listen to me. I'm not me.
- Shut up! - You shut up.
Aah!
(as Katie) Do that again and I'll
scratch my eyes out!
Lois!
- No, witch! - Intruder!
(as Katie) Wacko!
- Cow! - Get out!
You get out! I was me first!
[screams]
[groans]
Now do you believe me?
Relax. I told you, I'm fine.
Are you sure?
Wh-what I mean is...are you sure?
- I'm sure. - Well, I'm not.
Do you know what it feels like having the person you love
turn into a snarling monster right before your eyes?
She was snarling. I was speaking loudly for emphasis.
I'm glad you were there.
Helped me get through it.
What was it...like?
I mean, how did it feel to have someone..
...occupy your body?
Crowded.
It's strange.
I can only imagine.
No, I mean, it's strange
I, I still feel remnants
of her feelings in me.
I feel her pain.
Clark, I feel sorry for her.
Yeah, well, she didn't earn a whole lot of my sympathy
when she was trying to brain you with that-that spatula.
It's like she's stuck here.
Here in-in the house?
Gee, that ought to send property values soaring!
Speaking of which, would-would a ghost
have a big interest in real estate?
'Cause the last time I looked
dead people couldn't own property.
So why was she trying to force us to sell?
Maybe she's being guided by a more earthly force.
Yeah.
Did you learn anything else about her?
[instrumental music]
She never thought she was pretty.
She gained some weight and her husband
used to tease her about that.
[gasps]
What?
What is it?
She was murdered!
Right here in this room.
Oh, you're about the worst ghost I've ever met!
One simple haunting! Whoosh! And they're gone! Out!
But no! Once again you come back empty-handed!
Casper could do a better job!
Stop yelling at me! You sound just like my husband.
That's all he ever did, was yell at me, make fun of me
tease me, laugh at me!
Get it!
I-I'm sorry.
I was so wrong to raise my voice.
[sighs ] So!
What did they call you when you resembled the living?
My friends used to call me Katie.
Hmm.
The few I had.
So, Katie..
...um, the reason I got so carried away there
was because I want to turn that Brownstone into a home
for widows and orphans.
A-a place where little tykes can fill their empty tummies
and blue-haired ladies can play canasta
to their hearts' content.
Love, Katie!
Love!
That's why I want that Brownstone.
I understand. You're forgiven.
Oh, bless you!
Now, you think you can take one more shot
at clearing out the place?
You know, those orphans aren't gettin' any younger.
Frightening didn't work. I even tried possessing her.
But that Lois was tough.
She fought me with everything she had.
But as bad as it was
it was still sorta nice being human again.
I mean, it beats this limbo I'm in.
Now, now, take it easy.
Remember, if you complete this task
I might just disclose who your killer is to you.
Oh, that would be wonderful, master.
Herbie. Call me Herbie.
After all...we're gonna be partners, right?
[knock on door]
Are they out?
Makes you a first-class criminal, Mink.
You have an instinctive feel for--
- Cut the crap! - Mink!
I'm this close. I-I'm begging you, Mink.
A few hours. That's all I ask.
I like to see you sweat, Herbie.
My head don't hurt so much.
And how'd you do that nasty thing with the lamp?
Three hours! Please! Four hours! I'll throw in a TV!
[gun cocks]
Bye-bye, Herbie.
Aah!
[gunshots]
That creep!
Ah, does my heart good
to see my two top investigative reporters
hard at work on their stories?
"Prohibition agents raid Brownstone?"
"Discover stiff in basement?"
What's that got to do with smuggling microchips
out of the country?
I put that story on hold, chief.
Right now, I'm working on a murder.
Oh, okay. Okay. Good. Sounds like page one.
Uh...when did it happen?
Sometime after 1898.
What?
Someone died in our Brownstone, chief.
I'm compiling a list of everyone who owned it
then cross-referencing the names with the morgue files.
See?
Jumpin' Judas, you got a rogue's gallery
of fiends, cutthroats, and murderers there.
And those were just the good tenants, chief.
Well, you know, I tried to trace my family back once.
Didn't like much what I found.
So I stopped.
Ah, at least I got one reporter
taking care of current business.
How's the Morton bribery case comin' along?
"How to Raise the Dead?"
I get tired of novels.
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me.
You're trying to resurrect..
...the person that was killed in your townhouse.
Now, there's a thought.
I found her.
'Name's Katherine Banks.'
Wife of a crime lord, since retired.
- How was she killed? - Blow to the head.
- When? - Ten years ago.
Any suspects?
The husband, of course
but he had an airtight alibi.
He was in jail.
Anything else?
She was covered with flour.
Flour?
Well, I was just reading.
It seems a murdered spirit can only be freed
from the place it haunts if the killer is found.
I got it! I got it!
- Tuna on rye, right? - No.
Uh...I'll call the delivery place, chief.
Aw, does anybody still work here?
Your neighbor sold her Brownstone
to Bismarck Development Company
while the name on your escrow papers
for your place is Hardkin Investment Associates.
Those are two completely different buyers.
But they could be dummy companies
controlled by the same person.
- Keep diggin'. - Right.
The key to this is Katherine Banks' murder.
We need to find out more about it.
Maybe...from the best source possible.
No. Unh-unh. Way too dangerous.
- Oh! - Lois, I'm serious.
- Whoo! - Seriously.
Lois, this is something you just, you cannot do.
Calling Katherine Banks.
Calling Katherine.
Come in, Katherine...Banks.
Here.
It was here, wasn't it?
They found you in this room.
Are you here, Katherine?
- What do you want? - Oh, my God!
A ghost. You're really a ghost.
Yes, I am. Move out.
No.
I, I mean, I-I belong here.
You can see the logic. I pay the mortgage.
And I'm alive.
But I-I get that you're in terrible trouble
'and I'm sorry.'
Very sweet. Move out!
Katherine, we both know why you're here.
We do?
And by here, I mean, here as opposed to there.
I'd like to help.
Sure. As if you care.
I don't trust you or anyone with a pulse.
Life was that tough?
Well, I was beaten to death with a blunt instrument.
So in that sense, yes.
I, uh..
I get the feeling..
'...your husband..'
...you did everything for him.
I know you're a great cook.
I was. And I cleaned.
And I brought him his slippers.
But...he could be very mean to me.
And he made me feel cheap and used and unwanted.
That's terrible.
Can you tell me about it?
No.
This morning when I was you
your husband looked at me...us..
...with such love in his eyes
like I've never seen in my whole life
not for one day as long as I lived.
Katherine.
Oh, call me Katie. All my friends call me Katie.
Katie.
What happened the night you..
Were...murdered?
It's okay.
I had just finished giving a cooking lesson.
- You give cooking lessons? - Mm-hmm.
I had taught a secretary at my husband's firm
Lilah Monroe, how to prepare aiguillettes of pheasant
with juniper berries.
And I came into this room..
...and the next thing I knew
I was stuck in the kitchen wall
for, well, how long have I been dead?
- Ten years. - Ten years?
Ten years!
Ronald Reagan!
What?
I have to go!
But what did your husband do to you?
Oh, no, I can't tell you.
But if I could figure out who--
No. My master's calling. Herbie freed me.
I, I can't betray him. I have to go!
Katie!
(woman on phone) 'I'm sorry, we have no seats left on that flight, Mr., uh..'
- It's Stax, Herbie. - 'We have no seats left.'
What, the next flight to Miami is full?
- 'Yes, it is.' - Book me anywhere else you fly.
[grunts] Ten years!
Reagan was President when I died!
Uh! Am I glad to see you!
I've got something for you to take care of.
I can't go on scaring Lois and Clark. Ask me anything else.
Oh, forget Lois and Clark.
Katie, to better improve master-servant relations
I have decided to reveal the identity of your killer.
Really?
You deserve it.
Katie...it's time to avenge your death.
Mm-hmm.
Time's up, Herbie!
Undertaker's waitin'.
Oh, this is gonna be a pleasure.
[rattling]
[glass shattering]
[eerie music]
[screaming]
I can't believe you tried such an insane stunt.
It worked, didn't it?
And-and that is the second thing I can't believe
that you actually summoned a...a..
Ghost. It's okay. You can say it.
How was she?
As scary as when she possessed you?
Clark, she's a ghost. She was scary.
But then she just..
...seemed like this lonely little girl.
Does she have any idea who killed her?
No. The last thing she remembers is giving a cooking lesson.
That would explain why she was covered with flour.
[sighs] There was some detail about her marriage
that she couldn't bring herself to tell me.
She seemed more interested in talking about you and me.
Well, I hope you didn't tell her everything.
I left out the good parts.
She's probably already seen them anyway.
I never thought of that!
Is there any chance of getting her back here for an encore?
This Herbie called her away.
She said he was her master, the one who freed her.
Wait, wait. Freed her from our wall?
Well, then this Herbie must be the guy
who put that stuff in the kitchen
to scare us out of here.
We need to find this Herbie.
[eerie music]
Boo.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Goin' somewhere, Herbie?
Uh...yeah. Yes.
On a fund-raising mission
since you didn't keep up your end of the bargain.
'Now, I-I've gotta find another home'
for those poor widows and orphans
or they'll be doomed to wander homeless and hungry
'sleepin' in cardboard--'
Put a sock in it!
You used me to do something terrible tonight, Herbie.
I'm not a killer. I don't kill people.
That poor man that I dispatched to the other side
he wasn't the one that murdered me.
How do you know?
I'm-I'm the medium. Y-you're just the message.
If he was, I would've passed over by now
instead of being stuck in this crummy room
'with a crummy con man.'
I never got an even break in my whole life.
And you're the last in a long line that saw to it.
The heck with passin' over.
I don't want my murder solved. I'm stayin'.
And I'll look better than I ever looked
and I'll be with a man that's actually decent!
I'm gonna live.
I'm gonna live better dead than I did alive.
And I'm gonna have anything I darn well please.
And I'm gonna make things
a living hell for you
for the rest of your miserable life.
[thunder rumbling]
Investigating officer's statement?
"Blunt force trauma to the back of the head."
Which means Katie never saw her attacker.
I think we've been through all this.
The last entry was two years ago.
An unsolved murder case is never officially closed
but when the trail turns cold
like old soldiers, it just...fades away.
Darndest thing! Guy got killed tonight. Ask me how.
Am I gonna regret this?
Witnesses swear lawn tools flew through the air
by themselves and attacked him.
Lawn tools?
Flew?
Do you have the victim's name?
Uh, yeah. Mahoney.
Mink Mahoney.
- That rings some bells. - I ran him through our morgue.
Turns out he's the triggerman for the most powerful
crime family in the city.
Excuse me. Alleged triggerman.
He always walks away clean.
Until now.
Got another name for you. Herbie Stax.
(both) Herbie!
- You know him? - Well, his name gets around.
Oh, he has a bunch of dummy companies
he uses for real estate scams.
He, uh, he bought Bertha Emory's townhouse
'under Bismarck Development'
and he tried to get yours
using Hardkin Investment.
Jimmy, this crime family that Mahoney works
for what kind of stuff are they into?
They build mini malls and stuff
after grabbing up the best properties in town.
It's pretty questionable deals.
Sounds like Herbie was trying to sell them our block.
Look at this. I found a supplemental report.
Page 16-C. This wasn't in the original.
[telephone rings]
[wind howling]
Oh...uh. Katie.
Help me find 16-C.
I'm sure that's where the answer is.
"Daily Planet?"
'C.K., phone call for you. Line 6.'
Oh, great!
- Hi, this is, uh-- - 'Clark Kent?'
- Is this Clark Kent? - Yeah.
It's Herbie Stax.
Herbie Stax? We want to talk to you.
Kent! Look, she's outta control.
Someone has to stop her.
- Who? - Katie Banks! The ghost!
Look, she's gone off the deep end.
Just tell me what you want me to do, Mr. Kent. I'll do anything.
Alright, where is she right now?
I think she wants to bond with your wife.
And I mean bond.
Your wife's there with you, isn't she?
Yeah, yeah. She's..
Lois?
Ha!
Hmm.
Lois?
(as Katie) Who the heck are you and what are ya doin' in my house?
Where's Clark?
I made a lovely dinner for my man.
It's time to leave Lois' body, Katie.
I wouldn't be giving me orders, big boy.
See, I can actually make Lois die
by shutting down her system anytime I want to.
I like her as a home
'but I can find others.'
There's that cute what's her name
who turns those cards on that game show.
I could do that if I was still dead.
You are dead, Katie.
I know Herbie betrayed you
but this...just won't work.
Clark will learn to love me.
No, he won't.
Clark loves Lois.
Well, then I hope he comes to her funeral!
No!
Aah!
(as Katie) Let me go. I swear I'll kill her.
I know who killed you, Katie.
It was right there on page 16-C
the one that Lois had before you blew it away.
The one thing you couldn't bring yourself to tell her
was that your husband was having an affair
almost from the day you two were married.
I don't want to hear any more!
You never knew who it was, did you?
And being cooped up in our kitchen wall you didn't
know that your husband remarried right after you died.
♪ I've been workin' on the railroad ♪
He married her, Katie.
♪ All the livelong day ♪♪
She was a stripper named Lilah Monroe.
Lilah wasn't a stripper. She was a struggling secretary!
My husband felt sorry for her! I felt sorry for her!
I even gave her cooking lessons!
Your husband begged you for a divorce, didn't he?
♪ Mine eyes have seen the glory ♪
♪ Of the coming of the Lord ♪♪
But you wouldn't give it to him
because you suspected that he was in love with somebody else
so you vowed to stay married to him just to punish him.
♪ Sh-boom sh-boom ya da ye ya da ye ♪♪
You didn't know that you were giving cooking lessons
to your husband's mistress.
She hated you, and she wanted you out of the way.
Hadn't she just left your house the night of the murder?
- I think she came back-- - No! It's not true!
I wouldn't be taken in like that, not by Lilah!
[door opens]
It wasn't my idea, Katie. He made me.
The truth, Lilah.
Just like you told me.
'It'll free all of us.'
[baritone] Don't say it, Lilah!
(Superman) 'Go on, Lilah.'
She won't hurt you.
Lilah!
I did it!
I killed Katherine!
- You! - No!
I'm sorry, Katie.
I don't care! I'm not leaving!
[screaming]
I could start over. I'm beautiful.
I have a wonderful husband and a life like I never had
and I'm not giving it back!
[screaming]
[grunts]
Katie, Lois said that you are a wonderful person
but nothing about your life was fair.
'Obviously, you belong in a better place.'
No! I like it here! And you don't have a choice!
The way I hear it, Katie..
...you don't have a choice.
Your killer has been found.
[groaning]
I'm sorry, Lois.
I know.
I understand.
'But things will be better for you now.'
You're probably right.
Seems I've made my best friend..
'...my only friend'
after I left this life.
Bummer!
You'll make sure all those people get their homes back?
I'll be waiting for both of you on the other side!
Goodbye, Katie.
[instrumental music]
Well, nice to know that while we're in prison
we have somethin' to look forward to.
[sniffs]
Lois?
Yes, it's really me. Don't be worried.
I-I wasn't worried. Who was at the door?
Telegram.
Oh.
From Herbie.
"Enjoying prison so far.
"Thick walls, terrifying guards.
"I feel very safe.
Tell Superman, thanks."
And Lilah is deliriously happy
to finally have the murder off her conscience.
She was concerned about the hereafter.
Although after a run-in with Katie
I think she has more to be worried about.
So everyone is where they belong. Great.
Yes. Including me.
Lois Lane, in the kitchen, cooking.
And you can just get that look off your face.
- What look? - That look that says..
"Oh, my God, Lois cooked something
and I have to eat it."
Katie left a little behind.
'She sure knew how to cook a wonderful breakfast.'
Wow!
I call that Eggs a la Katie Banks.
Oh, honey, you can cook!
Yes, who would've thought a couple of eggs
could give me such a feeling of conquest!
Although it's sort of like climbing Mount Everest.
Once you do it, you think why would I ever do that again?
I'll eat slowly.
I would.
Oh! Oh, no.
Oh, no!
No, I won't! No! No!
I.. Just kidding!
[chuckles]
[laughing] Sorry. Did I get egg on you?
Let me just wipe that off.
[theme music]