[instrumental music]
(Clark) Previously on "Lois & Clark.."
(Perry) I now pronounce you husband and wife.
(Clark) Is everything alright?
(Lois) Stand by to be stunned.
(Clark) What've you done with her?
(Lex Luthor) I replaced her just before the wedding.
(Clark) Where is she? Where is Lois?
I lost her.
(Wanda) Who is this Lois, anyway?
(Lex) Someone better off forgotten.
Did you know Lois was writing a novel?
'"The True and Amazing Adventures of--"'
(Lois) Wanda Detroit.
Wanda's got this boyfriend. Real jerk, his name's Clark.
Anyways, there's this other dude who
she's totally in love with. His name's Kent.
Lois is somewhere acting like the heroine of her secret novel?
(Jimmy) Wanda Detroit.
(Lois) I got this crazy chick looking to kill me.
[echoing] Kill me.
[thunder crashing]
[intense music]
[gasps]
Wanda? Are you alright?
Oh, jeez. I just had the craziest dream.
Aw, tell me about it, my darling.
Oh, I hate when people tell me their dreams.
At least I think I do.
Funny, I don't remember anybody ever telling me their dreams.
How could I hate it?
You're tired. We both are.
These last few days have been a nightmare.
Hunted, hiding like rats.
But all that's about to change.
I have a plan that will free us forever from Clark
and his evil factotum Superman.
Kent, why is this happening to us?
We're simply too good for this world.
- Anything? - Nah.
(Jonathan) 'Are you hungry?'
No.
You need to rest.
I can't believe I let her go. Just let her drive off with him!
- Honey-- - I'm an idiot!
Clark, what were you gonna do?
She said she didn't love you. She didn't wanna see you.
It had to be a trick, dad. She cannot love him.
This won't do any good.
I let my feelings cloud my judgment.
Now I've looked everywhere, and I can't find--
(Lex) 'Superman!'
'I'm speaking on an ultra frequency'
'only you can hear.'
- What is it? - Luthor.
(Lex) 'I imagine you'd like to see me.'
'Well, then, you shall.'
'The corner of Kirby and Steranko.'
Don't.
Give me one good reason.
How about 15?
Explosives..
...wired to office buildings, museums, two or three of those
ubiquitous twenty-something coffee hangouts.
Now, tell me, what is the appeal of those places?
Where's Lois?
Look, but don't touch, or boom.
Good to be at it again, hmm?
Now, tell me, be honest..
Isn't one of us without the other incomplete
almost unnecessary, or am I all alone here?
Oh, I hope not, because
there's nothing more painful than unrequited hate.
Luthor...when this is over
I will personally build your next prison
and I will seal the lock.
Well, I wish I were taking challenges tonight
but this little meeting is about love.
If you call what you're doing to Lois love
then you are sicker than I ever imagined.
Why, you think that I don't love her, that I'm, what, incapable?
Too consumed with evil to feel?
What a simple world you live in.
All the powers that fate gave you
how little you understand an ordinary man's heart
and the lengths it will drive him to.
Take her from me, and I will unleash
all the forces of hell on this city.
Do that, and this is war.
Well, then..
[explosion]
This...is...war!
[theme music]
[rumbling]
(Dr. Klein) 'So while that building was exploding'
someone was trying to kidnap the clone
while he was on her way back
from the NIA Lab in Washington.
One guess. Lex Luthor.
We don't know.
Leonard was the only one close enough
to get a really good look--
But my glasses got knocked off.
Fortunately, the clone..
[glass shatters]
...fought him off, if you can imagine.
Hello! I think I said I want to see..
Oh...Clark.
- Hi. - Hi.
You got my message...finally.
I really need to talk to you...alone.
Subtle hint.
I'll go dissect something.
Hmm!
So...how you been?
Good, I guess. You?
Mmm. You know..
Oh.
This gross you out?
I'm sorry. I just...think I need the vitamins.
Look, I'm sorry about what happened last night.
Was it Luthor?
Well, I didn't really get a good look
but, yeah, I think it was him.
Uh, why would he wanna kidnap you?
Well...I can get to something he needs.
What?
See, I think it's a way to get him.
But what is it, specifically?
Clark, I've got this whole speech memorized
so it would just be nice if I could sort of go in order.
Sure.
[chuckles] Thanks.
Uh...well..
I'm really, really, really sorry that I tried to kill Lois.
I know that that was just totally...wrong.
But I'm only nine days old.
And I don't think I deserve to be locked up.
It's really unfair.
Can we just get to the point here?
What do you know about Luthor
that could help me get Lois back?
Okay. Speech adios.
This thing that Lex wants, I know where it is.
And I'm one of only two people who can get it.
But, what is it?
Well, I'll tell you... on our walk.
What walk?
The walk we're gonna take.
[telephone rings]
- Yes? - The clone is gone.
Of course she is, Clark Kent checked her out.
Yes. How did you know that?
Because I'm not an obsequious snitch
bungling the plans of my superiors.
After our failed attempt to get her
for which I blame you entirely, by the way
it was obvious that she'd fall into enemy hands.
Fortunately, I have a second scenario.
Tonight be certain that the two canisters of which we spoke
are in the main lab vault, and that the vault is open.
- 'Can you do that?' - Yes.
If you can't, my boy, I suggest you run, hide, and pray.
- So, Kent.. - My pet?
Do you have a plan where we could actually
breathe real air, see the sun again?
Not that this isn't a real wonder palace
great for keeping skin moist and growing mushrooms.
Yes, I have a plan.
And if it works, we will not only walk free again
but outlive every one of our pursuers.
And the best thing of all, Wanda, we'll be together.
Wanda..
It sounded odd, your calling me that.
Wanda Detroit.
How come there's so much about me that I don't know?
Where I'm from, who my parents are?
I gotta admit, it really scares me, like being in the dark.
That bump on your head's got you a little foggy, that's all.
What's a name? I mean, for that matter, what's a past?
Can you touch it, can you feel it, can you love it?
Who we are, how we feel, right here, right now..
That's everything, isn't it?
I guess.
- Yeah, sure. - Alright, then.
Now, let me show you the plan.
Lex has money, like $200 million in these..
...what do you call 'em? Not stocks. Bears--
- Bearer bonds. - Right. Yeah.
So, they're in this bank, and only Lois Lane can get them out.
I was supposed to, but I refused.
But I was thinking--
Lex wanted that money pretty bad
doesn't seem like he's rolling in it
and he can't use the real Lois
because everybody's looking for her, right?
And, trust me, it takes like half an hour
to sign all those forms, and if he did use the real Lois
you'd be there, but you got to figure
Lex has guys in the bank watching
to make sure I don't get it
but what if I do, and the guys call Lex?
That would flush him out.
And you'd snag him. Pretty cool, huh?
Mm-hmm. Not bad.
- I'm helping you, aren't I? - Yeah, yeah. You are.
- Does that mean you love me? - What?
Well, I think I love you.
See, I was reading about it in this magazine
how love is helping each other, and you're helping me to get out
and I'm helping you to get Lex
and, well, I got to admit, you sort of grow on a person.
So I think I love you. Do you love me?
Don't take this the wrong way, but...no.
Well.. Is it okay if I love you?
Sure, yes. Just don't kill anybody over it, okay?
Oh, my God! That was two days ago.
You have got to learn to let things go.
I'm working on it.
[instrumental music]
(Lex) 'You ready?'
I don't know about this, Kent. Breaking the law.
Doesn't that make us just as bad
as that no-good hunk o' jerk Clark?
Of course not.
He does it out of desperation.
He's too stupid to make a living
so he resorts to petty theft. It's pathetic, really.
But you and I were falsely accused.
We're relentlessly hunted.
I mean, what other methods are left for us?
It still doesn't feel right.
Well, maybe it will...once you've done it.
Hey, boys...I'm flat.
Either of you good with your hands?
[gunshots]
Open the door.
We don't have a lot of time, my dear..
If you're having a crisis of conscience
have it somewhere else.
[beeping]
- Well? - It's kind of exciting.
Welcome to a whole new world.
[intense music]
[humming]
[gunshot]
Here we have the labors of one Dr. Mamba.
(Lois) 'Who?'
A scientist who worked for me, a genius in the field
of genetics and cellular research
but his genius was co-opted by Clark.
It was Clark who got the good doctor to create the clone
that's trying to kill you.
Oh, her.
Still, the doctor may have gone wrong
but what he achieved is the key to our freedom.
And $200 million, because when free
it's always best to be well off.
Well, avoiding the cops is also right up there on my list
so what do you say, let's scram?
Mm. Beautifully put, my dear.
Dr. Klein. Dr. Klein.
I heard the lab got robbed.
Oh, Clark. The lab was robbed last night.
Yeah, right. What was taken?
Two clone fetuses created by Dr. Mamba. One male, one female.
I have a feeling the thief was--
- Luthor. - No.
Luthor?
Doctor, maybe you ought to sit down for a minute.
You know, actually, I think I'll sit.
Yeah.
C.K! Here are those bank diagrams you wanted.
Oh, and it's not exactly legal to possess these.
- Hi, officer. - Thanks, Jimmy.
- Uh, any word on Lois? - No, nothing.
Out of her head, kidnapped by Lex Luthor
you married to a clone.
Man, if it ain't one thing with you guys, it's another.
[instrumental music]
[intense music]
[gasps]
Wanda? Ah.
We have a visitor. Meet Asabi.
- Good evening. - Hiya.
(Lex) 'Asabi used to work for me several years ago'
trying to teach me the mystic ways of the Thugee Cult.
But I rejected his teachings.
I was in love with all things scientific. And what a fool.
Because now I know science is only the key
that opens the prison door, whereas the power of spirit--
Is the freedom to never again be trapped in any prison.
I speak of your soul.
What is it, do you think?
- My soul? - Mm-hmm.
You know, who I am..
...which I'm a little fuzzy on, to be honest.
Ah.
The soul is the water. The glass is your body.
With you so far.
The soul is only trapped within the glass
until one learns the very simple trick of..
My-my darling. Do you know the Greek definition of "Seconds?"
"Nick, give me another Souvlaki."
No, no, no, no. The seconds on a clock.
Oh. No.
"Each is an arrow, the last one fatal."
But...not for us.
Our final seconds will be the first step to life everlasting.
The clone fetuses we took from the lab
their growth accelerated, their bodies almost ready.
Almost ready? For what?
We are sought by a man with great powers, with X-ray vision.
Now, how do you hide from such a man?
You don't, unless you exchange one body for another.
I'm not going to shuck my body, like a piece of corn.
I got enough problems here, I'm not doin' it.
Nothing personal, Mr. Asabi, but this is nuts.
Alright. Then let me tell you our future.
We run, we hide, we're caught. We're caged and die alone.
Let me tell you something else
if that's what you wish, I'll make it so.
I'll give up my freedom, my future, my life for you.
Oh, Kent.
But know this, that we stand on the very precipice
of all our tomorrows.
And if you just close your eyes and make believe
'we shall know eternity..'
...together.
You really think this guy can do magic?
Look.
Well...I never pictured myself as a blond, but what the hell?
My life can't be any crazier than it already is.
Now, that's my girl.
Now, get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow.
I see into her mind, her heart.
'A great love, one that transcends time.'
Even now, she longs for him in her dreams.
- And if I kill him? - Ah...the love would not die.
The memories would surface.
Alright, help me, Asabi, I cannot lose her.
Then there is but one way to sever this love
and bind her to you forever.
She must kill this man with her own two hands
of her own free will.
That done, the love will die, and she will be yours.
[indistinct chatter]
- 'Yes?' - Mr. Luthor?
Hello, Philip.
Well, she's here, making a withdrawal
'just as you predicted, sir.'
Should take at least a half an hour.
Alright, thank you very much for your call.
Expect your payment by the end of the week.
Why, thank you, sir.
[buzzing]
Time for Phase Two.
This plan is totally excellent.
Yeah, except no Lex.
Well, I've been thinking... again.
Would it be the worst thing in the world
if you never saw Lois again?
What?
Well, just-just keep an open mind, okay?
I-I look like her, and I can sound like her
and everybody thinks that I am her
and I learn real fast, and if you give me a month
I'll be her and I have $200 million,
so you have to admit the whole package
it doesn't totally suck.
No, no, it doesn't.
Look...I'm sure you mean well.
But I love Lois, who she is.
Everything she's been, she's done, dreamed, thought.
Every second of her life up to now.
You can't just make that.
Hey, hey, wait.
I'm never gonna have anyone.
No, look, I'm sorry.
I'm just a freak. I don't have a past or a life.
I bet I don't even have a soul.
There's nothing for anybody to love.
That's not true. You're just different.
Different-different is good.
Okay? I ought to know.
You just need to get your own life.
And-and you will.
- Really? - Really.
Will you help me...maybe meet somebody nice like you?
Sure.
Do you think he'll be able to fly?
Well..
[beeping]
Ow!
Aah!
Clark, long time no see.
Superman!
Another building is exploding in 15 seconds
and the real Lois is in that building!
[indistinct screaming]
You now have 10 seconds to save her!
And I'd better get back to my detonator
in the next three minutes or another building goes
then another and another.
Tick tock, Clark.
(Lois) 'Superman, help!'
'Superma--'
[rattling]
(Luthor) 'Well done, man of steel.'
'Of course, there were no real explosives here.'
'Much as I can count on your behavior when she's in danger'
'I'd never leave her life in anyone's hands but my own.'
'I love her too much, and she loves me.'
'Says there's never really been anyone else.'
'You might pass that on to your friend Clark.'
[groans]
Now, you're probably wondering
why I didn't snuff out your miserable life up there.
But I wanted to tell you something about yourself
answer a few questions about your place in the world.
That's really nice of you.
Yes, considering what a graceless
little traitor you are.
You see, Dr. Mamba designed two classes of clones.
An "A" class with a life span of about, mm, hundred years
and a "B" class with a life span of two weeks.
Now, you, my dear, are very much a "B" class.
What?
What are you now, about 10, 12 days?
With a life span of two weeks..
...I wouldn't be making any holiday plans.
No!
You will be quite dead by Friday.
But, Lex, Lex...you could fix me...couldn't you?
I had you made. I could have you remade.
'Cause I-I'd do anything for you, you know that.
Do I?
What if I could give you something that you wanted?
What could you possibly give me?
Superman. You hate him, right?
Well, he's really someone else. Someone else that you hate.
They're the same person.
What are you prattling on about?
Superman. He's really...Clark Kent.
My God.
I did good, right? I was good?
I'm very impressed.
This information could not have come at a better time.
And how deeply wonderful that that which I brought into being
could...teach me something.
Now, let me give you a little lesson.
Never trust anyone.
There's no reversing your life span.
You will die in two days, a soulless, paper-thin copy
unloved in life, unmourned in death
and forgotten faster than you ever lived.
Have a nice week.
Lex?
Lex, please don't leave me!
(Clark) 'He-he didn't hurt you, did he?'
Did he say anything about Lois?
Or did he take you to his hideout?
- I'll talk to her. - Good luck.
Come on, son, why don't we take a walk, clear out your head?
Yeah.
- Lois? - Don't call me that.
- That's your name, isn't it? - I don't have a name.
I'm not even supposed to be alive.
Guess it's a good thing I'll be dead in two days.
Oh, no.
Just here long enough to see everything I'll never have.
I just want to know why. Can you tell me that?
I don't know...but I do know that who you are
doesn't have anything to do with how long you're here.
It has to do with who you touch, and how.
And Clark really cares for you.
You've been a friend to him. He can trust you.
You see?
I can't even do that right.
- 'Lex Luthor?' - Yes?
- 'Are you alone?' - I am.
- Have you the item? - Item present.
- Oh, my God. It's gone. - No, it's not.
Ah.
Perhaps if you removed your sunglasses--
- That'll be non-sat. - Non-sat?
Non-satisfactory.
Can we get down to business, please?
This is the A-Tech Quantum Disrupter
the most deadly weapon on Earth.
Oh, really?
Capable of long-range target annihilation
at the molecular level.
Well, that's one way to take out the trash.
This is no toy, mister.
You're looking at nine years of top-secret government research.
The results of which might even kill Superman.
Why, then, by all means, I'll take it.
Haven't you forgotten something?
Forgotten something?
You mean like the fact that I'm betraying my oath
my country and my brethren by turning over this
awesomely destructive force to a clinical psychopath?
That I'll be haunted the rest of my life
for ever agreeing to this satanic bargain?
- Forgotten that, do you mean? - No. Your money.
Ah.
[trips over trash can]
[crashing]
[cat screeches]
(Asabi) 'Tomorrow, you will inhale the smoke of the sacred flame.'
'It takes all that you are, all that you shall ever be.'
Exhale, and at that moment, your new bodies will inhale the smoke
and then...hmm.
- That's it? - Yes.
Just like that? Boom, I'm a blonde?
It's harder dying your roots.
Soon we shall be free to start any lives we dare dream.
Now, what would you like to be, hmm?
A European countess. A South American horsewoman.
No. Wait. I've got it. A Russian poet.
- A writer. - Hmm?
A writer.
When you said, "Poet," I.. Yeah, a writer.
It's crazy. I can barely talk.
Who am I to think I could be a writer?
Well, you have more locked inside you
than you could ever dream possible, believe me.
I just wish I didn't have this weird feeling.
I know what we're doing is the right thing
to get us out of this corner, but..
It's just something.. Something's eating at me, like..
...being in the dark and wanting to turn on the switch.
And it makes you nuts, 'cause you know it's there
and you can't find it.
Well...we'll find it together.
But first, I've got to run a little errand
and...I won't be long.
She's emerging from her darkness
struggling ever closer to her truth.
The love she longs for--
No. Yes, I know, but that love will be severed.
I'm gonna lure him here tonight
and she...is going to kill him.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Your mom told you? - Yeah.
I'm really sorry.
We should get you over to S.T.A.R. Labs.
I'm sure there's--
Well, I really don't have much time left, and I..
...don't want to spend it getting stuck with needles.
Your mom's a great person.
I can see why you turned out the way you did.
She understands so much..
...and I believe her
when she says that...you care about me.
I don't like to see anyone in trouble.
I wanna help.
Well, I-I don't think you will, when you find out what happened.
I, um...did...something...bad.
I wanted Lex to help me to live longer
and so I told him that..
I told him that you were Superman.
[sighs]
- It's okay if you hate me. - No.
- I already hate myself. - You were scared.
You made a mistake. It's alright.
- I'm so ashamed. - Shh, shh, shh.
But I'll help you to find Lois and I'll help you to catch Lex.
I hate Luthor. I hate him for making me.
Now, is that any way to talk about your creator?
Some would call it blasphemy.
- Stand back. - Yes, do.
That way you'll have a better view.
[yelling]
Oh..
Clark!
Jonathan and Martha Kent!
I don't believe we've met. Lex Luthor.
What did you do to my son?
Same thing I'll do to you,
if you take another step.
Well, Clark, all the years we've known each other
'you've been keeping a little secret.'
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Now, is that any way to treat your best enemy?
How long I feared you, envied you, yet never really knew you.
So I wonder, can you beg...for your life?
No?
Too un-Superman. I understand.
So...what about for the life of your parents?
You'll beg for that, won't you?
Please. Don't. Don't kill them.
Come on.
- I beg you. - Nicely done.
You grovel with style, and that's important
because I'm gonna tell every criminal in the world
who you really are, and as an added bonus
I'm gonna give them the design of this weapon
your parents' address
and you're gonna spend the rest of your life begging..
...or hiding, and believe me
they're both equally humiliating.
Well, I suppose that famous strength
will be coming back soon, so I need a little getaway insurance.
Now, let's see.. Eenie, meenie..
I've always preferred female company.
- No! - Hey, hey, hey!
- Uh! - Hey, hey, hey!
You better let her go!
- Uh-uh. - Oh! No!
You two, you stay and help your fallen hero.
Dad...you okay?
Yeah...yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine. Can..
I can't even stand up.
Here, boy. Come on.
Maybe we should call the police.
No. Too dangerous. You're the only chance I've got.
'Follow Luthor. Take the cell phone.'
Don't let him see you.
Whenever he gets to where he's going, call me.
Hopefully, my strength will return by then, okay?
Hey...be careful.
Is Lois here? Is she alright?
She's fine. But thank you for asking.
You know, it occurs to me, Martha
that if I'd had a mother as loving as you
I might be a better person.
Thank God I didn't.
Wanda?
I just had a close call with Superman.
- Kent, are you alright? - Yes, fine.
Fortunately, I was able to defend myself.
But he's incredibly strong. He's quite insane.
And he'll find us at any moment.
Well, I don't think I can shoot anybody.
Oh, no, believe me, no one treasures life more than I do
but this man is evil.
He works for Clark, he wants to destroy us.
And we must be able to defend ourselves
with deadly force, if necessary.
Now, there. It's set on full force.
You put your finger there on the trigger
you aim...and fire.
[whirring]
- 'Clark?' - Yeah.
I followed him.
He's somewhere beneath 4th and Grand, but way deep.
If you follow the tunnels of the old subway tracks.
My mom, is she okay?
She was the last time I saw her.
I kind of got lost, well, not really lost, just a little
'but I'm sure I'm gonna find her any--'
Fourth and Grand. Under the old subway.
Okay, I'll find it. You just sit tight.
[whooshing]
I'm sorry. I'm still lost.
It's alright. You should head back up, this way.
I'll take it from here.
- You don't look so good. - I'll be alright.
It seems they're done a little early.
Asabi, we're ready anytime you are.
Then come to me, and open your mind to the eternal.
The soul is indestructible and ever transitive.
'Death is not to be feared.'
Alright, Luthor, it's over.
Superman!
Luthor? Who's Luthor?
Get out of here and leave us alone!
I don't think so.
Where's my mom?
Wanda, shoot him.
Lois...don't.
Shoot him! Now!
Put him down.
- Stay back. - Lois...it's me.
I'm not gonna tell you again. Get back.
I will when you put the gun down.
(Lex) 'Shoot him!'
[whirring]
Wanda, shoot him!
I.. I can't.
Oh, for God's sake!
I can't hold this, Luthor. The whole thing is gonna cave.
We'll take our chances.
No!
[screaming]
No!
Aah!
Learn this now!
I love you, but don't ever stand between me and what I want!
No!
[whirring]
Kent?
[panting]
Come on. I'm gonna get you out of here.
I found...your mom... down the tunnel..
...around the corner.
I did good, didn't I?
We've got to get out of here.
No!
[Superman grunting]
Let her go!
- She stays with me! - She'll die.
We'll all die, then.
Come on, Kent, I'll help you.
Uhh...no...it's too late.
You say you love her. You say she means everything to you.
Then let her live. Give her that.
Or do you want me to beg again?
And you said I couldn't love.
How little you understood me.
How little anyone ever did.
[crash]
- Uh.. - Kent.
Come on, come on!
We've got to get out of here.
[groaning]
[coughing]
- Is Lois alright? - I don't know.
I've got to get her to a hospital. Are you?
Yes, yes! Go! Go on!
There's been repeated cranial trauma
a pretty bad concussion, shock.
No evidence of hematoma, thank God, but..
Wanda?
- Lois? - Yes?
- How're you feeling? - Fine...I guess.
[chuckles]
- I'm sorry. Do I know you? - Yeah.
- What's your name? - Clark.
Clark?
Hmm..
See you...Clark.
See you...Lois.
[instrumental music]
[theme music]