Argh! Look out.
Hey!
What?
Who do you say you are, sucker?
Superman?
I don't think so.
Meet your replacement.
Enough.
You win.
You're the better man.
Yeah.
You beat Superman.
- To a pulp. - Oh.
Thank you.
I was getting so sick of him.
(computer) 'Jaxon.'
'Jaxon, haven't you wasted enough time'
'playing games?'
I'm not playing.
I'm rehearsing.
'Whoo. Rehearse all you want.'
'It won't get you what you need.'
I guess I just have to get used to the idea
that, in this world I may just be another geek
with a lot of RAM
but, in that world
I'm a God.
And being a God takes a lot of practice.
That world is nothing but a pixilated pinball game
unless you get those passwords
from the real Lois Lane.
Oh, I'll get them.
She may not know it now, but she's going to give me
everything that I want..
Everything.
Oh, chief, you are gonna thank me.
- Thank you for what? - Ow!
Chief, you can't just pull virtual goggles
off somebody like that. It's dangerous.
If I was in a virtual program
you could really mess up my mind.
Jimmy, if these things are dangerous
you shouldn't be wearing 'em.
Oh, and what am I going to thank you for?
Oh, see, these are virtual goggles.
'It's away of transporting yourself into another world'
a world in which I've to say in all modesty
I'm pretty good at getting around
where other people can't.
In this case I was surfing through a computer dating bank
trying to find you a date.
Jimmy, I don't like dating services
and I don't trust computers.
I'm most happy in this world
knowing that, if I grab this lamp.
I know I'm grabbing this lamp.
You, uh, get my meaning?
- Yes, sir. - Good.
(male #1) '"Daily Planet"..'
Good morning.
Thank you for the flowers and the coffee.
What's the occasion?
The occasion is..
...I'm in love
and I'm getting married.
What are these?
I've been thinking about our honeymoon.
Oh, there's a nice thought.
With all the money we're gonna save on airfare
thanks to Superman express
we can go just about anywhere we want. Paris, Hawaii.
I don't care where we go, Lois
as long as I'm with you.
Well, let's say we go to Hawaii.
We could stay in one of those huts, right on our own beach..
You know with the thatched roof and ceiling fan..
...nice, soft bed.
Perfect.
And that is, if you like soft beds.
A soft bed's fine.
'Cause, you know, there are other kinds of beds.
I mean, there's hard, firm, straw mat, futon.
Some people even like the floor.
Lois, any bed that you choose will be fine with me.
Well, what if it's not?
I mean, what if you expect one type of bed
and you end up getting a completely different type?
You, you might be disappointed.
How come I get the feeling
that this isn't all about...beds?
Well, it did occur to me
that there's one or two things that we never talked about.
One or two things?
One thing.
What thing?
The thing.
Oh.
That thing.
We haven't had any experience toge--
Well, much, I mean, with each other.
- Oh, God, what am I doing? - It's okay.
I'm sucking the romance out of this like a vacuum.
It's just..
...well, we've waited
and I'm glad.
I'm glad, too.
But, then..
...it's for life and what if..
'I mean, what if you..'
Oh, if this is half as stupid as I think it is, just kill me.
No, no, no, no.
(Perry) 'Hey, hey, hey, hey.'
Enough of that.
Lois, aren't you getting a tour of that new fun center?
Oh, the Virtual reality center. Yeah, we were just, uh--
She was filling me in because I'm going, too, chief.
And we're..
..on our way.
Okay. Now we're cooking.
(computer) 'Since you programmed me'
'to spur you on to greater heights'
'let me just remind you'
'why this is so important.'
(system recording) 'File access denied.'
Access denied. Access denied.
(computer) Lex Luthor was a very tricky man.
He liked to protect his information
especially information this valuable, Jaxon.
X. I told you, call me X.
(computer) 'X..'
'According to the information we can access'
'Lois Lane is the only other person'
'besides Lex who knows the information--'
Did I program you to repeat yourself, huh?
What are you, the first cybernetic parent?
I know this already, okay. I'm the one that told you.
I programmed you to challenge me.
I don't know if you remember
but I'm the one who's actually alive.
I see no reason to get nasty.
'She's here.'
'Reminder, be smooth and charming.'
'Where are your breath mints?'
- Oh, no. - 'Front right pocket.'
'What would you do without me?'
You'll have to excuse my surprise, Miss Lane
but I sent an invitation for one.
Oh, well, Mr. Xavier
this is my partner and fiancée Clark Kent.
Uh...please call me X.
- X? - X, you know..
Alright.
Uh, X
we've heard a lot about this place.
What makes it so unique?
Well, my virtual world is so advanced
I-I like to say that it's beyond virtual reality.
How so?
Well, you see, normally VR is about
computer-created sensations coming at you.
The way that I've designed it
I bring you in.
Your mind actually travels into my world.
Oh, that sounds a little dangerous.
Well, it-it's no more dangerous
than putting your body on a roller coaster.
You get off and on when you're told
and you're fine.
You're not afraid of roller coasters
are you, Miss Lane?
Well, I guess it depends on whose roller coaster it is.
We heard this place is really popular with the kids.
It's popular, period.
Yesterday, the mayor paid a visit
and spent three hours playing virtual golf in Scotland
with Sean Connery.
I'm glad to know my tax dollars aren't being wasted.
Now, look, I can talk about this all day
but why don't you guys see for yourselves?
So, where would you like to visit this morning?
Mattress store?
Hawaii.
Okay.
Just slip the goggles over your eyes, relax
and...open your minds.
'That's odd.'
'Strange vital signs.'
'Must be some sort of malfunction.'
Huh?
I.. What's going on?
'I'm sure it's just a minor adjustment.'
Just..
'Ahh, that's better.'
It's...ahem.
See you in Hawaii.
(computer) 'You hit my monitors again, Jaxon.'
Yeah, well, they were malfunctioning.
Now who is this fiancée, partner guy
Mr. Clark Kent, Mr. GQ?
You know, he is not part of the plan.
He's a viral anomaly. He's--
- 'Jaxon!' - X!
(computer) 'Breathe. Remember to breathe'
'or you'll pass out again.'
'Just separate Kent and Lane in virtual world'
'then kill him if you have to.'
But I've never killed anybody before.
'Did you actually think you could take over Lex's empire'
'and not kill one or two people?'
Well, I-I never really thought about it.
'To acquire and maintain control'
'a conqueror must be willing'
'to deceive, dominate, and eliminate.'
[chuckles] Kill him..
Okay. Sounds like fun.
Clark?
I'm right..
...here.
Whoa!
I can't believe this.
It looks...so real.
The air smells so clean I'd swear we were in Hawaii.
So..
...you wanna pick up our conversation
where we left off?
Why don't we wait till we're really alone
as opposed to virtually alone?
Ah, right. Okay.
Well, then how about a virtual walk
on a virtual beach?
(computer) 'Jaxon, you seem to be having a strong emotion.'
'Is it...jealousy?'
Shut up. You know, if you were a better computer
I could actually hear what they're saying
without having to go in there myself.
'Lois Lane is not someone to whom'
'you should become emotionally attached in any way.'
'She is a step in your plan.'
I know that.
'So, now you've deceived them.'
Time to dominate.
I wonder if everything in virtual reality
feels this real.
Why?
Oh..
- Pretty real. - Mm-hmm.
(Jaxon) 'Okay.'
Trip's over.
Why's he wearing that suit?
To impress you.
Oh, no, he's not.
Yes, he is.
It's time to go back to reality.
Just relax and..
That was amazing.
So, do I get a good review?
So, now that we're back in real reality
you want to finish our conversation?
Clark, I want..
- Yes? - Pastrami.
- What? - On rye.
Russian dressing, sliced pickles
side of slaw, cream soda, and then..
And then?
And then we can deal with that thing.
I think I'll have some fries, too.
You're nervous.
I feel much better.
You want anything else?
Just watching made me full.
[chuckles]] I'm not full at all.
It's weird.
Anyway..
...here's what's been bugging me.
The other night I was thinking about
all of my past relationships.
And so what I did was make a list
of all the positive ones
and all the negative ones.
And?
And they all ended up in the negative column
especially, my last one with Lex.
Ouch.
Yeah.
But now you have me.
So none of that matters.
Oh, Clark.
"Oh, Clark."
You know, it'd be great if only I didn't have to
leave Virtual World every time I wanna program an event.
I mean, now I can't hear what's going on.
(computer) 'Oh-ho-ho, you'll never really grow as a human being'
'if you continue to blame machines'
'for your ineptitudes.'
Ineptitudes?
I'll show you ineptitudes.
Say goodbye to..
"Oh, Clark."
My point is that I've worked through a lot of my fears
a-a lot..
...except, maybe one
and-and it's not really a fear.
It's actually more of a concern about..
...that thing.
Well, a-actually, you bring up a good point.
Because we've never really talked about..
...our past.
Right.
Right. Exactly, and, uh..
Well, I just wanted you to know
why I'm a little skittish..
...about crossing the intimacy threshold and
you've been so understanding that I thought
maybe you were a little skittish, too.
Well, my experience
has been a little different.
Mm-hmm.
I'm a little different.
[chuckles Sure.
I mean..
...I've had girlfriends.
I've dated..
...but...that thing..
...the intimacy threshold..
...the big threshold..
[sighs] ...I've never really..
...crossed it.
I-I've stepped up, taken a good look--
Oh, my God.
Lois, I'm not from here
so I'm always asking myself
do I really belong?
Am I really supposed to have a life here?
Oh, my God.
Lois, are you listening?
'Cause I'm kind of pouring my heart out here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, I'm sorry. I'm just a little..
[chuckles] Could-could we walk?
Sure.
So what you're saying is, is you're a v-v-v..
...a-a very patient man.
Lois, I needed to be sure.
I needed to meet the one person
that I could share everything with.
No. I admire the way you've dealt with this.
I-I just also feel a little..
- Yeah? - I just wish you'd told me.
It-it.. This is big.
I didn't exactly know how to bring out.
I mean, it already adds a lot of pressure to a situation
that has plenty of pressure.
Lois, there is no pressure.
Because...I'm sure that I've made the right choice.
You were the person that I've waited for.
I just wish I had waited, too.
- No, no. - Well, I do.
Especially, since they were practically federal disasters.
Well, then think of it that way.
I'll be your first nonfederal disaster
and you'll be my first..
Ugh. I can't fly.
Run! Run! That way!
I had him!
He squeaked out by inches.
(computer) 'You have to get tougher, bolder'
'like Lex Luthor.'
Don't bring him up.
This has nothing to do with him. This is my plan, do you hear me?
And we're gonna do it my way
and my way's subtle!
Ah! Thanks, Superman.
Superman?
- Are you alright? - Fine. Are you?
Fine, except I don't have any powers.
I think that's because you're not all you.
Citizens, be careful crossing the street.
Have a nice day.
Did he just call us citizens?
The guy sounded more like Robocop than me.
Something is very wrong here.
I think I know what it is. Clark..
(in unison) We're still in the Virtual World.
Jaxon's trapped us in here.
What are we going to do?
Just act normal.
[sighs] See where he lets us go.
I, I don't think he likes me very much.
- Clark. - What?
We just had our most intimate conversation inside a computer
with God knows who's watching and listening.
Oh, he's gonna pay for this.
I can't just reach into her brain
and yank out what I want.
I've got to make her tell it to me.
I've got to make her vulnerable yet..
'...trusting. I've got to--'
- 'We have a problem.' - What is it?
(computer) 'Clark Kent's vital signs,' they're dropping.
Oh, that's good.
Maybe Lois killed him for me.
This isn't right.
It-it's-it's not possible.
(computer) 'Stop banging my monitors.'
Well, then quit malfunctioning.
'I am not malfunctioning.'
'It's his readouts.'
'They're screwing up my circuits.'
'Why don't you just kill his body right here?'
[scoffs] Because..
Duh, Lois Lane has to feel
that she's in her world
a world where she can trust what happens and why.
I mean, Clark Kent, he, he can die
but she has to see it.
And then be comforted by me.
Let's get her to her apartment where she feels safe.
We've been up and down every street
and we always end up right in front of your apartment.
And I'm getting sick of seeing the same 10 people.
'What should we do?'
Well, he must want us to go inside.
What do we do now?
Act normal.
How can I act normal? Look at this place.
How about some tea?
Tea.
Great.
I wonder what flavor they have
in Virtual Reality.
(computer) 'Jaxon, they've arrived at Lois' apartment.'
'How are we coming?'
Just a few minutes.
It seems as if Mr. GQ here
has shorted out some circuits.
Ah! Ooh.
He's thicker than he looks.
Clark.
(Clark) 'I guess, no tea.'
You know, when we were at the beach
he showed up when we started kissing.
And that car chased us down
when we were in the street holding hands.
So?
So, maybe if we get close right now
he'll make his move.
Kiss me.
Oh, I never thought I could be uncomfortable kissing you.
Yeah. Don't think about it.
Still nothing.
Mm.
Anything?
Oh, well..
...it's starting to be a little more comfortable.
- Yeah. - Mm.
Almost ready here.
Just another minute.
(computer) 'Jaxon, I think you should take a look'
'at what's going on.'
'There's a major power surge coming.'
Oh, this isn't really happening, is it?
No. It's, it's all in our minds.
How come it feels so real?
Who cares?
Oh, I've got an idea.
If she's so hot for Kent.
Oh, Clark.
Mr. Kent, it's time you and I had a little talk.
Lois, don't interrupt.
(Jaxon) 'Stop!'
She has to be let out through the escape window.
'See, if you remove those goggles from her eyes'
you're gonna separate her mind and body..
...forever, Mr. Kent.
Yes. That's right, Mr. Kent.
She's trapped in my Virtual World and
I'm the only one that can get her out
See, 'cause I control the escape window.
So, if you wanna save your little love
then you're gonna have to do it on my terms.
You're bluffing.
I could pull these goggles off, and she's out.
Do it, Mr. Kent and she dies.
Well, you leave me no choice.
Ooh, you've got a choice.
You can step back into my Virtual World
and we can go mano a mano, you and me.
Well, that wouldn't be fair.
That's your world. But in this world--
In this world, Mr. Kent
you take one more step forward and I can promise you
you will never get her back.
[inhales] Ooh.
[laughs] You know, I've wondered ever since fourth grade
what it would feel like just to pound guys like you.
And I got to say, it's weird 'cause it feels..
...great.
[chuckles] I love it.
So, if you wanna leave, go on.
If you wanna call the cops, fine.
'Cause I can promise you, before they can get here
I will have everything that I need from her.
I mean, you can call in the 87th Airborne.
Nothing is gonna stop me.
Lois, I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Good dresser? Yes.
Computer expert? No.
Lois?
(Lois) 'Clark?'
Oh.
What happened?
I-I was in this weird place
for a minute, all white
and then I was out on the sidewalk.
What happened to the big guy?
He disappeared right after he through you out the window.
- What is going on? - I-I don't know.
But when I was in the white place
I-I-I saw all these icons
and heard all these voices, all about Lex Luthor.
Lex?
I think all of this has something
to do with Lex Luthor
and your relationship with him.
Now, check out her data, likes fly-fishing
and discuss politics. She's perfect for you.
Jimmy, first of all
I don't know if I'm ready to date yet.
And secondly, this isn't her.
I mean, I don't know this woman.
This all electrons and plastic.
Chief, you're describing some of my best relationships.
Look, you're gonna have the whole thing right at your desk.
If it doesn't work out, you just dive back
into the net and get another one.
Disposable love. Electronic romance.
What would the king say?
Chief, the king would say
"Go for it, Perry."
I don't know. I, uh..
I'm gonna have to think on this one.
Superman.
- I need your help. - You got it.
I need you to dig up everything we can on Jaxon Xavier.
Jaxon Xavier.
Alright. Let's see what we got here.
Jaxon Xavier. Used to work for Lex Luthor at Lex Labs.
A genius and the pioneer in Virtual Reality.
Jimmy, all these computers work
on some kind of a link, don't they?
Sure, these days all the computers
are hooked up to some kind of on-line system.
Do you think that you could break into Xavier's computers
over at Virtual Center from here?
I-I could try
but I'd need much more powerful equipment.
Just tell me what.
So, did you and Lex ever talk about children?
Well, yeah.
A-and-and-and what were you going to name them?
- Oh, Clark, I-- - It's important, Lois.
Trust me.
Great shades of Elvis.
Jimmy, what's going on here?
I-I don't need a date this bad.
Here you go, the last parts. Mr. White.
Well, Superman, uh, what's going on here?
Lois is in danger.
I need you to call the police and have them surround
the Virtual Center but tell them
do not go inside until I say.
Otherwise, Lois could die.
You got it.
How we doing?
We are almost there.
Good job, Jimmy.
Uh, Superman, I can't create an exit window for us.
So, unless we can find Jaxon's escape window and steal it
we're gonna be trapped inside..
...maybe forever.
Jimmy, you don't have to go inside.
There's no reason for you to risk your life, too.
I know more about computers than you do, Superman.
It's information, you got to know
how to access it and channel it.
It's like one of those video games where you've to load up
on ammo and fuel to win.
And I'm the king of video games.
This isn't a game, Jimmy.
I know. Just trying to lighten the moment.
You ready?
I'm Superman.
Good point.
Let's break in.
[chuckles] Cool.
Now, listen, it's time to power up.
The more information we get in here, the stronger we are.
Let me show you.
Lex wanted an X in every child's name.
- I wasn't-- - Of course.
What were they?
Alexis, Roxanne, and Lynx.
Lynx?
Alexis, Roxanne, Lynx!
Try them, computer!
- Clark, what are you doing? - Shh, shh.
(computer) 'We're gaining access to the forbidden banks.'
'No. Final access denied.'
No!
This guy sounds like Clark.
It's not Clark.
Believe me, no matter what he looks like
he's not Clark.
What's the other name?
There is no other name. That's it.
I don't have time to play.
Someone's tapping into my system.
Now..
Wait.
Of course.
Computer, try the name Jaxon.
(computer) 'One moment.'
Lois, did Lex ever tell you
he had a child from another woman?
Yes.
He said he and the boy's mother
were killed in a car accident.
Killed?
(computer) 'The password Jaxon is...invalid.'
Invalid?
Invalid!
- No! - Give me that name.
I don't think so.
Why do you keep hitting me with vases?
You're him, aren't you, X?
My name is Jaxon Xavier Luthor.
I am Lex Luthor's son.
I never died.
And you..
Yoo-hoo!
You were almost my mother.
I didn't think things could get any worse than they are.
I need that name.
Superman, I'm going to stall him.
Hurry up.
Hold it.
Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
Hi-ya!
Come on.
Alright.
If that's the way you wanna play it
check this out.
Hi-ya!
Aah!
Not so fast, Jaxon.
Superman.
'I should've known.'
You can die in here, flyboy.
Let's go.
This is it, Superman.
How does it feel to know you're going to die?
(Jimmy) 'Lois!'
What is it with you?
I'll be with you in a moment.
Uhh!
Hold on. Hold on.
(computer) 'Jaxon.'
Wher.. Where'd they go?
(computer) 'I have no idea.'
What? You have no idea? Wha.. How can you have no idea?
Because the last time I looked, I wasn't a map.
Well, they-they have to be in the system somewhere.
We have to find them.
- 'Jaxon.' - X!
'Why don't you concentrate on the last name'
'Lois wouldn't give you.'
'It's the key to the system.'
If they get inside, they're gonna screw everything up.
'Jaxon.. Sorry, X.'
'You access the Luthor files, I'll look for the intruders.'
'That's why they call it a partnership.'
Alright. Alright. Fine.
But find them!
Superman?
We're over here.
Jimmy?
Hello?
(Jimmy) 'Lois, over here.'
Follow my voice.
Where are we? What happened?
Superman learns pretty fast.
He jumped us out of the VR world
into a section of the computer's unused memory.
I don't know how long we can hide here, though.
Lois, what does he want?
He's Lex Luthor's son.
Luthor had a son?
Illegitimate.
Whoa, Lex, my man.
Sorry.
I don't what he wants
but he was obsessed with knowing
what Lex was gonna name his children.
He wanted access codes.
Access to what?
See, this is Luthor's system.
Are you telling me that we're inside something Lex made?
Yes, see, there was always rumors that a Cybernetics
Division was working on a VR that can mess with your head
even brainwash you.
No wonder he had the mayor in here.
Sure, lure the most powerful people in the world
inside a VR amusement park, brainwash them
and when they step outside, they're yours.
So, Jimmy, how do we stop him?
The pressure's on, huh?
Wait.
'The last name.'
'Wh-what if it wasn't Luthor's choice?'
What if it was hers?
What if it was..
(automated message) 'Access granted.'
We're in.
M-my father's mind control system
'it's-it's all here. We're-we're in.'
All I have to do is, is link it with my VR
and every President is my puppet
every general is my toy soldier.
(computer) 'Excuse me.'
'We still haven't taken care of our three intruders.'
(Jimmy) 'We got to get more power.'
Power is the key. We got to get you hitting hard, Superman.
Jimmy, this can't just be about power.
'No matter how much we steal, he always gonna have more.'
Doesn't there have to be some sort of emergency button
to get back to reality?
Of course, the escape window. We got to find it.
Well, what would it look like?
[sighs] Anything.
But it'll always be where he can see it and always get to it.
The watch.
L.L. Lex Luthor.
'He had it on his left wrist.'
Did Clark touch the watch
before he was thrown out of the window?
Uh, yeah. I think he said that he did.
Well, I say we find that watch, we're out of here.
Yeah, but getting it's gonna be the hard part.
Not if we use our best weapon.
What's that?
What we know about him.
(computer) 'I've been asked to give you a message.'
'Being downloaded now.'
A message?
'Here it is.'
'"Hey, chicken boy, come in and fight.'
'"Bawk bawk bawk bawk.'
'"You'll find us in front of the Virtual Planet.'
'Bawk bawk bawk bawk."'
'Apparently they don't know to call you X.'
'What are you gonna do, chicken boy?'
Go ahead.
Take your best shot.
- Sure. - No!
I can let you do it, Superman. He'll kill you.
Don't be ridiculous, Lois.
I'm gonna kill both of you.
Lois, do you mind? We're trying to fight here.
Jaxon, I know why you're so angry.
Shut up.
Lex probably thought of you as a mistake.
And he was never very good at acknowledging his mistakes.
Shut up.
I'm not a mistake.
He kept you around so he didn't feel guilty.
He never told anyone you were his son, did he?
And he never told you how proud he was of all the work
you did at his company.
He never gave you his name.
In fact, he told people that you were dead.
(Superman) 'That's probably why you like it in here, huh?'
You can shut all that out, pretend it never happened.
(Lois) 'But it did happen.'
'No matter where you run'
you can't hide from what you really are.
Ahh! No! No!
'No!'
No!
[sobbing] No!
'No!'
No! No!
No!
- You alright? - Yeah.
He's inside.
No! No! N..
What happened?
He disconnected.
Is he dead?
He's still breathing, but..
(Jimmy) 'The system crashed.'
(Lois) 'How?'
We'll, I'd have to run a diagnostic but..
'...it looks like he did it..'
...on purpose.
So, he could still be in there?
(Jimmy) 'His mind anyway.'
And if it is
it's not a place you'd want to be.
Ten computer experts have been in and out
of Jaxon's systems for a week.
So far, no sign of VR world, Luthor's programs, or X.
Yeah, well, I tell you, I never trusted those machines.
Now I know why.
The minute you separate mind from body
you're asking for a whole lot of trouble.
Chief, you're preaching to the converted.
Amen.
Uh, chief, speaking of conversions
you think I could talk you into picking up your board
and surfing the love net?
Jimmy, I'm too old to surf and too smart
to think that you can catch love in a net.
I was thinking about that thing.
Mm-hmm.
I'm really glad that we talked.
Me, too.
You know, just when I think I know
everything there is to know about you
you take my breath away with something new.
Good, because that's exactly how I feel
every single time I see you.
Oh.
I am counting the hours until our honeymoon.
Mm-mmm.
In the mean time, what do you say, we go get some pastrami?
- You cannot be hungry again? - 'Oh, I'm a bottomless pit.'
No!