1
00:00:02,501 --> 00:00:03,918
(man on TV)
'And "Love Fortress
International" had no
response'
2
00:00:04,001 --> 00:00:05,543
'to this morning's
"Daily Planet" story.'
3
00:00:05,626 --> 00:00:07,501
'The newspaper reported that
"Love Fortress" magazine'
4
00:00:07,585 --> 00:00:09,751
and nightclub operation
is little more than a
cover-up
5
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:12,585
for crime including gambling,
prostitution..
6
00:00:12,668 --> 00:00:14,376
Well, you sure scooped
that pretty boy.
7
00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:15,460
Perry.
8
00:00:15,543 --> 00:00:17,626
I just dropped by
to congratulate you.
9
00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:19,463
This is a heck of a story.
10
00:00:19,168 --> 00:00:21,293
Yes. That is a heck
of a story, Lois.
11
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:24,251
Clark, weren't you assigned
to this piece, too?
12
00:00:24,335 --> 00:00:26,043
I was kind of under
the impression
13
00:00:26,873 --> 00:00:28,626
that you two
were permanent partners.
14
00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:31,293
Well, we're not
permanent permanent
15
00:00:31,376 --> 00:00:33,251
partners yet, chief.
16
00:00:33,335 --> 00:00:36,873
No. That would be
a...big step,
chief.
17
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,960
The kind of thing that
a person would have to..
18
00:00:39,043 --> 00:00:40,168
...think through.
19
00:00:40,251 --> 00:00:42,460
Uh-huh, well..
20
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,001
...thank you for that
cryptic exchange.
21
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,168
Now all you interpreters
22
00:00:47,251 --> 00:00:49,001
let's get back to work.
23
00:00:49,463 --> 00:00:51,501
We're all proud
of you, Lois.
24
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:54,001
Lois, I can't believe
the number you did on my man.
25
00:00:54,463 --> 00:00:56,751
- Your man?
- Spencer Spencer.
26
00:00:56,835 --> 00:00:58,501
The owner of
"Love Fortress
International."
27
00:00:58,585 --> 00:01:01,793
- Have you read his work?
- "His work"?
28
00:01:01,876 --> 00:01:05,168
This is nothing but a..
Whoa...skin book.
29
00:01:05,251 --> 00:01:07,335
Chief, he takes
on
serious topics.
30
00:01:07,418 --> 00:01:08,793
[laughing]
31
00:01:08,876 --> 00:01:11,168
Look, I've read him so
much,
I feel like I know him.
32
00:01:11,251 --> 00:01:13,543
Nobody knows him, Jimmy.
He hides out from everyone.
33
00:01:13,626 --> 00:01:17,463
If I had the looks, the
women,
the cars, and life he has
34
00:01:17,168 --> 00:01:18,418
I'd hide out, okay?
35
00:01:18,501 --> 00:01:20,876
[telephone ringing]
36
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,918
- Yes.
- 'Hold for Spencer Spencer.'
37
00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:26,793
- It's Spencer Spencer.
- Oh, my God. The man!
38
00:01:26,876 --> 00:01:29,873
- Hello.
- 'Miss Lane..'
39
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:32,501
'Lois, Spencer Spencer here.'
40
00:01:32,585 --> 00:01:34,251
'Quite a colorful article'
41
00:01:34,335 --> 00:01:36,918
'you did
on my little operation.'
42
00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:39,876
'I'd like to make
you a proposal.'
43
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:43,376
'What say you meet with
one of my spokesmodels'
44
00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:45,418
'and let us give you
an accurate'
45
00:01:45,501 --> 00:01:48,043
'picture of...my world?'
46
00:01:48,873 --> 00:01:51,751
Believe me, I can make it
worth your while.
47
00:01:51,835 --> 00:01:55,043
Mr. Spencer, I have an accurate
picture of your world
48
00:01:55,873 --> 00:01:57,460
and a truly disgusting
place
it is.
49
00:01:57,543 --> 00:01:59,585
Read part two tomorrow.
50
00:01:59,668 --> 00:02:01,335
- Lois!
- Mr. Charm.
51
00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:04,001
He's probably sitting
there
in his legendary silk
pajamas
52
00:02:04,463 --> 00:02:06,918
drinking Absinthe,
girls massaging
him.
53
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:11,960
I...disgust...her?
54
00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:13,463
[dramatic music]
55
00:02:13,168 --> 00:02:17,463
I...disgust...her?
56
00:02:17,168 --> 00:02:19,335
I disgust her!
57
00:02:19,418 --> 00:02:20,960
You're finished, Ms. Lane!
58
00:02:21,043 --> 00:02:22,585
When I'm through with you..
59
00:02:22,668 --> 00:02:26,210
...we'll see who disgusts whom!
60
00:02:31,335 --> 00:02:34,293
[theme music]
61
00:02:59,543 --> 00:03:01,168
[music continues]
62
00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:34,335
[instrumental music]
63
00:03:44,751 --> 00:03:46,251
I know you think
I'm not thinking about it
64
00:03:46,335 --> 00:03:47,668
but just because I'm not
talking about it
65
00:03:47,751 --> 00:03:49,210
doesn't mean I'm not
thinking about it.
66
00:03:49,293 --> 00:03:51,001
Louis, marriage
is a very big
step.
67
00:03:51,463 --> 00:03:53,168
I said I would
wait,
and I will wait.
68
00:03:53,251 --> 00:03:55,001
I'm glad you understand.
69
00:03:55,463 --> 00:03:56,751
Of course, if I was
the paranoid type
70
00:03:56,835 --> 00:03:58,876
I might think that you were
trying to avoid the whole
thing.
71
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,001
[chuckles]
Of course not.
72
00:04:01,463 --> 00:04:03,210
Avoid it..
No, I'm not trying to avoid
it.
73
00:04:03,293 --> 00:04:04,585
Do you ever notice how lousy
74
00:04:04,668 --> 00:04:06,001
the cheese sandwiches are
in this machine?
75
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:07,293
- What?
- Oh! I'm just saying.
76
00:04:07,376 --> 00:04:08,668
You can't get
a good cheese sandwich.
77
00:04:08,751 --> 00:04:10,876
I mean, I would kill
for a piece of camembert
78
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,043
the really good kind
from France.
79
00:04:13,873 --> 00:04:14,293
You notice
it's tough to get
80
00:04:14,376 --> 00:04:15,543
good camembert outside
of France.
81
00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:16,876
Lois, you
know,
I'm so glad
82
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,210
you're not
avoiding
this whole thing.
83
00:04:18,293 --> 00:04:19,751
I'm very, very
happy about
that.
84
00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:22,873
Oh! Lois. You busy?
85
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,751
Um, no. No, no. Heh, heh.
86
00:04:24,835 --> 00:04:26,501
Just talking to Clark here.
87
00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:30,043
Clark?
88
00:04:30,873 --> 00:04:32,210
[instrumental music]
89
00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:34,463
[people shouting in French]
90
00:04:34,168 --> 00:04:36,710
Perry, I am fine.
Don't worry about me.
91
00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:39,585
I'm not working too
hard.
Can I go back to work?
92
00:04:39,668 --> 00:04:41,376
Now Lois, I read you
like a book.
93
00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:43,001
Things get a little rough
in your life
94
00:04:43,463 --> 00:04:45,835
you wrap yourself up
in your work..
95
00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:47,335
...like it was going
to save you.
96
00:04:47,418 --> 00:04:49,873
Look, chief,
I've gotta draw the line
here.
97
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:50,418
I have a professional life
98
00:04:50,501 --> 00:04:52,418
and I have a personal life..
99
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,873
...and Clark asked me
to marry him!
100
00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:57,751
Lois, don't you think
you ought to try dating
first?
101
00:04:57,835 --> 00:04:59,210
But see, I really love him.
102
00:04:59,293 --> 00:05:00,418
Well, then there's
no problem--
103
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,463
Well, yes, yes
there is, Perry!
104
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,463
Ha-have you ever thought
that you found someone
105
00:05:04,168 --> 00:05:05,793
who is exactly
right for you
106
00:05:05,876 --> 00:05:08,585
but then you found out
some...thing
107
00:05:08,668 --> 00:05:10,463
that you never knew
about them
108
00:05:10,168 --> 00:05:11,710
that you thought
could just wreck it all?
109
00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:14,460
Yes, you know after
Alice and I got
married
110
00:05:14,543 --> 00:05:15,751
I found out her right leg
111
00:05:15,835 --> 00:05:17,626
was an inch
shorter
than her left.
112
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:18,960
Chief--
113
00:05:19,043 --> 00:05:20,873
She used to wear
these little
shoes
114
00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:21,585
with wooden wedges in them.
115
00:05:21,668 --> 00:05:23,463
Made in Portugal.
116
00:05:23,168 --> 00:05:24,918
Then on our wedding
night
we're standing there
117
00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:26,626
in front of each other, uh
118
00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:28,751
in the, uh...altogether
119
00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:31,585
and she's listing off to
the
starboard, her secret was
out.
120
00:05:31,668 --> 00:05:34,251
But see it, it didn't
make any difference to
me
121
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,960
because I loved her.
122
00:05:37,543 --> 00:05:41,293
- That's so beautiful.
- Oh, well, listen, now..
123
00:05:41,376 --> 00:05:44,463
You and Clark have got to
deal
with whatever it is
124
00:05:44,168 --> 00:05:47,376
and I don't mean
over a sandwich at your
desk.
125
00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:48,668
Where do you mean?
126
00:05:48,751 --> 00:05:50,293
Well, get out of town
127
00:05:50,376 --> 00:05:52,793
so you can focus on
what really counts.
128
00:05:52,876 --> 00:05:55,460
Oh, well, Perry, I think
I'm disciplined enough
129
00:05:55,543 --> 00:05:57,460
to not be distracted by work.
130
00:05:57,543 --> 00:05:58,960
- Ah, it's for you.
- Oh.
131
00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:01,460
Hello. Yes?
132
00:06:01,543 --> 00:06:03,918
What? Are you sure?
133
00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:06,460
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
134
00:06:06,543 --> 00:06:08,876
My police source says
they just found four bodies
135
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,460
all male, in a shallow grave.
136
00:06:10,543 --> 00:06:12,376
The first two ID'd last seen
137
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:14,918
at one Spencer Spencer
Love Fortress.
138
00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:17,335
Oh, heh, heh, and get this..
139
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:19,043
They were all headless.
140
00:06:19,873 --> 00:06:21,168
Good Lord. Hey, Lois!
141
00:06:21,251 --> 00:06:22,918
A word to the wise..
142
00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:26,668
Honey, there will always be
another headless corpse
143
00:06:26,751 --> 00:06:28,168
but true love..
144
00:06:28,251 --> 00:06:30,293
...comes around maybe once.
145
00:06:33,463 --> 00:06:35,626
Hey. There you are. Guess you
haven't seen your desk yet,
huh?
146
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:38,001
Not now, Jimmy. I just got
a major tip I have to..
147
00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:39,335
What about my desk?
148
00:06:40,918 --> 00:06:43,960
[chuckles]
Camembert.
149
00:06:46,463 --> 00:06:47,960
Let me guess....France.
150
00:06:48,835 --> 00:06:51,463
Oui. But of course.
151
00:06:52,835 --> 00:06:55,835
Clark, that's...so sweet.
152
00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:59,463
But?
153
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,668
We have to talk.
154
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,960
[sighs]
I-I also think
it's a really good
idea
155
00:07:03,043 --> 00:07:05,873
what Perry said
about getting
away.
156
00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:07,835
How did you know?
157
00:07:07,918 --> 00:07:11,043
Uh...s-super-hearing.
158
00:07:11,873 --> 00:07:12,460
Right.
159
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:16,918
And we will talk,
uh, right after I get back.
160
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:19,793
Sorry I just, uh,
I have to get this statement.
161
00:07:19,876 --> 00:07:22,210
But we'll do this.
We will, I swear.
162
00:07:24,918 --> 00:07:25,918
[sighs]
163
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,918
[dramatic music]
164
00:07:38,376 --> 00:07:41,626
What? Oh, great.
My car's blocked in.
165
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:44,335
Oh, aah..
166
00:07:44,418 --> 00:07:45,918
No. No!
167
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:47,335
[cellphone ringing]
168
00:07:50,793 --> 00:07:53,585
[music continues]
169
00:07:53,668 --> 00:07:55,210
Yes. Hello.
170
00:07:55,293 --> 00:07:57,335
(man on phone)
'Miss Lane, you have
an overseas call.'
171
00:07:57,418 --> 00:07:59,418
- 'Please hold.'
- No. No, I can't..
172
00:07:59,501 --> 00:08:01,543
Oh! Yes, I'll hold.
173
00:08:04,293 --> 00:08:06,251
'Hello? Hello?'
174
00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:08,335
Hello? Hello?
175
00:08:10,335 --> 00:08:12,251
'Hello? Hello?'
176
00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:15,293
[dramatic music]
177
00:08:17,335 --> 00:08:19,251
Please hold.
I'm transferring.
178
00:08:19,335 --> 00:08:21,335
Yes, I-I'm holding.
179
00:08:23,876 --> 00:08:26,710
Oh, hey, could you call
somebody in maintenance?
180
00:08:26,793 --> 00:08:28,210
They got me blocked in there.
181
00:08:28,293 --> 00:08:30,873
- 'Sure, Ms. Lane.'
- 'Thank you.'
182
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,626
[music continues]
183
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,876
Hello?
184
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,376
[creaking]
185
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:36,960
[gasps]
186
00:08:37,043 --> 00:08:38,251
Aah..
187
00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:41,543
(woman on phone)
'Please hang up
and try again.'
188
00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:45,168
[instrumental music]
189
00:08:46,543 --> 00:08:48,710
- Are you alright?
- Yes.
190
00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:51,335
Thank you.
191
00:08:51,418 --> 00:08:54,501
I know it doesn't seem
like enough to say.
192
00:08:54,585 --> 00:08:56,376
It's just,
it's all I
can.
193
00:08:58,043 --> 00:09:00,960
Well...look at you.
194
00:09:01,043 --> 00:09:04,001
You've gotten me
out of a lot of
jams
195
00:09:04,463 --> 00:09:06,793
but I've never
seen you like
this.
196
00:09:06,876 --> 00:09:09,043
Things are different now.
197
00:09:10,418 --> 00:09:14,043
What do you mean...she's alive?
198
00:09:14,873 --> 00:09:16,793
Idiot! High school dropout!
199
00:09:16,876 --> 00:09:19,043
I'll deal with you
when I see you.
200
00:09:19,873 --> 00:09:21,210
Slam the phone down
definitively.
201
00:09:24,585 --> 00:09:26,293
Take it easy, Mr. Spencer.
202
00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:29,251
It's always darkest
before the dawn.
203
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:32,835
What do any of you
know about pain?
204
00:09:32,918 --> 00:09:36,668
I make Quasimodo look like
a Rockette for cryin' out
loud!
205
00:09:36,751 --> 00:09:39,793
Hola! It's happy hour,
is it not?
206
00:09:39,876 --> 00:09:43,960
'Oh, yeah. We're all
happy as hell in here.'
207
00:09:44,463 --> 00:09:47,873
The Lane woman's still alive
and bodies with no heads
208
00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:49,585
are popping up
all over Metropolis!
209
00:09:49,668 --> 00:09:51,376
I merely do the experiments.
210
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,710
I don't dispose
of the refuse.
211
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,168
Do I look like
a gravedigger?
212
00:09:56,251 --> 00:10:00,463
No. You look like
an alcoholic quack.
213
00:10:00,168 --> 00:10:02,418
Hm, very well.
214
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:05,043
Then perhaps I will not share
my breakthrough with you.
215
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:06,710
Breakthrough?
216
00:10:06,793 --> 00:10:08,960
[whirring]
217
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,873
Dr. Pescado..
218
00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:12,710
...tell me.
219
00:10:14,873 --> 00:10:15,710
I don't think so.
220
00:10:17,376 --> 00:10:19,793
I hope I wasn't
out of line with that
221
00:10:19,876 --> 00:10:22,543
"quack" thing.
What can I say?
222
00:10:22,626 --> 00:10:24,918
I'm a tortured
human being.
223
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:28,463
Yes, yes.
224
00:10:28,168 --> 00:10:29,710
Heidi!
225
00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,168
Jawohl.
226
00:10:31,251 --> 00:10:32,585
Heidi, the data.
227
00:10:32,668 --> 00:10:34,793
Jawohl, Herr doctor.
228
00:10:34,876 --> 00:10:38,251
After all these
long months
229
00:10:38,335 --> 00:10:40,835
my brilliance..
230
00:10:40,918 --> 00:10:42,835
...and your millions
231
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:44,418
have finally won out.
232
00:10:44,501 --> 00:10:46,168
Do you mean to tell me
233
00:10:46,251 --> 00:10:48,835
you have performed
the transplant..
234
00:10:48,918 --> 00:10:50,251
...successfully?
235
00:10:50,335 --> 00:10:53,210
Behold...patient X!
236
00:10:55,043 --> 00:10:56,543
Hm.
237
00:10:56,626 --> 00:11:00,668
Here we have a man with
a face like Abe Vigoda
238
00:11:00,751 --> 00:11:01,918
and a body..
239
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:04,835
...and a body like
Sylvester Stallone
240
00:11:04,918 --> 00:11:08,293
in the first "Rocky"
before things got crazy.
241
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:13,293
Pescado, this surgery
will work...for me?
242
00:11:13,376 --> 00:11:16,751
You have merely to select
the body you wish.
243
00:11:16,835 --> 00:11:18,543
I already have.
244
00:11:18,626 --> 00:11:20,793
Allow me to introduce
245
00:11:20,876 --> 00:11:22,793
'the new, improved..'
246
00:11:22,876 --> 00:11:25,210
'...Spencer Spencer.'
247
00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,251
[intense music]
248
00:11:27,335 --> 00:11:29,043
I always say..
249
00:11:29,873 --> 00:11:30,876
...shoot for the moon.
250
00:11:36,585 --> 00:11:37,918
[tapping on window]
251
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,751
- Who is it?
- Who is it?
252
00:11:40,835 --> 00:11:43,873
Lois, who else knocks on
your third storey window?
253
00:11:44,793 --> 00:11:48,251
I, uh, I guess I didn't
seem very appreciative
254
00:11:48,335 --> 00:11:51,418
about all that cheese.
255
00:11:51,501 --> 00:11:52,918
It's just having
a boyfriend
256
00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:56,501
who can turn your every
whim into reality
257
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,585
takes some getting used to.
258
00:11:58,668 --> 00:12:00,501
I mean, my gosh,
if I, uh, wanted
259
00:12:00,585 --> 00:12:03,873
the perfect
pearl
from Japan
260
00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:05,335
I wouldn't expect it
to just appear
261
00:12:05,418 --> 00:12:07,418
'anymore than if I had
some sudden craving'
262
00:12:07,501 --> 00:12:08,793
for Swiss chocolate.
263
00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:10,293
I wouldn't expect you
to go zipping off
264
00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:12,293
to Switzerland
265
00:12:12,376 --> 00:12:15,873
no more than if I wanted
snow from the Andes.
266
00:12:15,210 --> 00:12:17,335
I mean they're
just
idle fantasies.
267
00:12:17,418 --> 00:12:19,960
'And they're not something
that's important to two..'
268
00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:24,751
[chuckles]
269
00:12:24,835 --> 00:12:27,168
- You got to stop doing that.
- Why?
270
00:12:27,251 --> 00:12:29,293
Making you happy
makes me happy.
271
00:12:31,873 --> 00:12:32,918
Did I ever tell you
why I gave up
272
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:35,460
my crush on Superman?
273
00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:37,751
Because he is a fantasy.
274
00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:41,376
And did I tell you
why I fell in love with Clark?
275
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,418
[instrumental music]
276
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,168
Because he's real.
277
00:12:46,668 --> 00:12:48,293
And that's what I want.
278
00:12:49,293 --> 00:12:51,543
- You do?
- Yeah.
279
00:12:51,626 --> 00:12:54,918
He's got problems
and insecurities and..
280
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,463
...hat hair.
281
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,210
I do not have hat hair.
282
00:13:00,293 --> 00:13:02,873
If I told
Clark
that I like
283
00:13:02,210 --> 00:13:04,585
the scent of
tulips
from Holland
284
00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:07,460
that is not your cue to
go
taxing down the runway.
285
00:13:07,543 --> 00:13:10,501
It just means that
Clark
and I would save up
286
00:13:10,585 --> 00:13:13,293
and someday take
a vacation
287
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,168
like a normal couple.
288
00:13:15,251 --> 00:13:17,793
But I am Clark.
289
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:19,835
But you're also that
guy
who saves the world
290
00:13:19,918 --> 00:13:24,335
from killer bees and props
up
the Golden Gate Bridge.
291
00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:27,418
Couldn't you just think of me
as a very...busy
292
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:31,463
very fast,
very strong...doctor?
293
00:13:31,168 --> 00:13:32,876
- I need some stability.
- 'Superman, help!
294
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,335
- 'Please!'
- Ah, Lois--
295
00:13:34,418 --> 00:13:36,376
I need a sense that
I'm not always sharing
you
296
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:38,585
with the five billion
other
people on the planet.
297
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:39,918
If you could just
hold that thought--
298
00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:41,876
I need to know
that
you will be there
299
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,585
for me when I need you.
300
00:13:44,668 --> 00:13:46,873
I got to go.
301
00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:48,210
[instrumental music]
302
00:13:50,751 --> 00:13:52,918
[whooshing]
303
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,835
[disco music]
304
00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:20,293
Klavel!
305
00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:22,918
Towel me. Towel me.
306
00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:24,626
Easy!
307
00:14:24,710 --> 00:14:26,460
Think you're
scrubbing
a bowling ball?
308
00:14:26,543 --> 00:14:28,463
First day I get new arms
309
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,751
I'm going to
wring
your neck.
310
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:32,918
'There is one little
wrinkle,
Senor Spencer.'
311
00:14:33,001 --> 00:14:34,751
[whirring]
312
00:14:39,668 --> 00:14:41,668
As Heidi and I
were making
313
00:14:41,751 --> 00:14:43,543
the final preparations
for the surgery
314
00:14:43,626 --> 00:14:46,463
'she raised a rather
an important issue.'
315
00:14:46,168 --> 00:14:47,585
My understanding is
316
00:14:47,668 --> 00:14:51,585
that this
Superman
is invulnerable.
317
00:14:51,668 --> 00:14:54,376
How am I to perform
the excision of his
head?
318
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,251
My scalpels
will
not even nick
319
00:14:56,335 --> 00:14:57,793
el hombre de acero.
320
00:14:59,251 --> 00:15:02,585
- What?
- His schalpels will not
even--
321
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:05,501
Heidi...I speak English.
322
00:15:05,585 --> 00:15:07,626
Ze Man Of Schteel.
323
00:15:07,710 --> 00:15:10,168
You crepe-hanging crybabies!
324
00:15:10,251 --> 00:15:12,585
You think you're dealing
with kids here?
325
00:15:12,668 --> 00:15:14,835
The guy will cut like butter.
326
00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:16,376
Ever hear of Kryptonite?
327
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:21,043
Well, I know that only
a few specimens exist.
328
00:15:21,873 --> 00:15:23,918
- How can you get it?
- I'm getting a body
transplant!
329
00:15:24,001 --> 00:15:26,251
You think I cannot pull off
a piece of Kryptonite?
330
00:15:26,335 --> 00:15:29,668
I suppose Superman will just
331
00:15:29,751 --> 00:15:32,543
cha, cha, cha into
our waiting clutches.
332
00:15:33,835 --> 00:15:35,251
[thuds]
333
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,210
No, Ms. Reichstag.
334
00:15:37,293 --> 00:15:40,873
His two best friends,
Lois Lane and Clark Kent
335
00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:41,793
will lure him here.
336
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:44,376
My man in Metropolis
says their boss
337
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,876
is pushing them to go off
to some remote little spot
338
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,751
he says this Clark guy
is all for it.
339
00:15:49,835 --> 00:15:51,418
Well, gee whiz
340
00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:54,376
I live in a remote
little spot
341
00:15:54,460 --> 00:15:56,210
and when they think
they're stranded here
342
00:15:56,293 --> 00:15:59,293
their buddy will show up
and I got him!
343
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,960
Am I smart or what?
344
00:16:04,001 --> 00:16:06,918
This promotional basket
just came for you.
345
00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:09,710
Judas Priest! These things
get worse every year.
346
00:16:09,793 --> 00:16:12,918
You know they're fleeing Cuba
in things smaller than that.
347
00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:14,626
They want you to send
a travel editor out
348
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:17,043
to review this new
private island resort.
349
00:16:17,873 --> 00:16:18,918
They say it's the perfect
spot
to fall in love.
350
00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:22,751
Jimmy, should I even bother
reading my mail anymore
351
00:16:22,835 --> 00:16:26,001
'or should I just ask you
for a summary? Give me that.'
352
00:16:27,251 --> 00:16:28,585
Um, I was kind of
thinking that
353
00:16:28,668 --> 00:16:30,293
the travel editor's
been awful busy
354
00:16:30,376 --> 00:16:33,585
and maybe you might wanna
send somebody a little..
355
00:16:33,668 --> 00:16:36,835
...younger, uh, a little
more
in need of a vacation.
356
00:16:36,918 --> 00:16:39,501
You know, I think you may be
onto something, son.
357
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,463
Tell Lois to come
in here, will you?
358
00:16:44,418 --> 00:16:47,168
[instrumental music]
359
00:16:57,376 --> 00:17:00,463
[music continues]
360
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:03,918
[knock on door]
361
00:17:14,626 --> 00:17:16,418
- Hi
- Hi. See that?
362
00:17:16,501 --> 00:17:18,335
Used the door
just like a regular guy.
363
00:17:18,418 --> 00:17:19,710
Very impressive.
364
00:17:19,793 --> 00:17:20,835
Yes siree.
365
00:17:20,918 --> 00:17:22,168
Came down the old street
366
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:24,626
and walked up the old stairs
367
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,918
just walking
up
the stairs.
368
00:17:30,585 --> 00:17:32,043
Here, let me help.
369
00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:38,793
Just like a regular guy.
370
00:17:40,835 --> 00:17:42,293
Sort of..
371
00:17:42,376 --> 00:17:45,168
So what was that thing that
we just...crushed, anyway?
372
00:17:45,251 --> 00:17:47,960
Promotion for some
stupid tropical resort.
373
00:17:48,043 --> 00:17:50,626
Ah, so Perry
got to you, too.
374
00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:52,501
He's practically
forcing us to go.
375
00:17:52,585 --> 00:17:54,168
I told him I'm too busy.
376
00:17:54,251 --> 00:17:56,501
Yeah, well, work would be
a lot safer than
377
00:17:56,585 --> 00:17:59,168
spending an
uninterrupted
weekend with me.
378
00:17:59,251 --> 00:18:01,873
Hold it.
Hold it.
379
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,168
I'm not the one leaping
off tall buildings
380
00:18:03,251 --> 00:18:04,585
at every distant SOS.
381
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,668
Wait, wait, ah,
what are you
saying?
382
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,876
I'm saying I don't think
you could let the world
383
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,710
get by on it's own
for two whole days.
384
00:18:10,793 --> 00:18:12,793
Oh, and you'd rather write
about other people's lives
385
00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:15,585
'cause it's less dangerous
than
living one of your own.
386
00:18:15,668 --> 00:18:17,543
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
387
00:18:21,585 --> 00:18:24,376
Someone...want you?
388
00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:25,710
No..
389
00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:29,710
- Yes..
- Go.
390
00:18:33,835 --> 00:18:36,463
[whooshing]
391
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:42,376
You know...I could do it
if you could.
392
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,460
Wanna bet?
393
00:18:45,543 --> 00:18:47,585
Heh, heh...bet.
394
00:18:52,501 --> 00:18:55,001
[instrumental music]
395
00:19:15,668 --> 00:19:18,626
[music continues]
396
00:19:23,751 --> 00:19:25,418
(Clark)
Here we are!
397
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,418
Let me help you with
those bags here, captain.
398
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:33,001
Oh! Excuse me, do you know
where we check in?
399
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,293
Well, the, uh, brochure
said something
400
00:19:38,376 --> 00:19:40,626
about a, a welcoming hukilau.
401
00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:45,293
Uh, I-I guess we just
wait
for the Hotel Jitney.
402
00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:48,543
I think I understand
what's going on here, captain.
403
00:19:48,626 --> 00:19:50,710
You think we
shouldn't be fooled
404
00:19:50,793 --> 00:19:53,626
by the casual elegance
of this place.
405
00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:55,293
I understand that.
406
00:19:55,376 --> 00:19:56,876
You know, us big city
tourists
might think
407
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,543
it's a little
bit...rustic
or even primitive.
408
00:20:04,210 --> 00:20:05,793
[chuckles]
409
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:07,418
Thank you very much!
410
00:20:08,585 --> 00:20:10,501
[instrumental music]
411
00:20:12,751 --> 00:20:17,501
[Clark chuckling]
Ah-ha! I knew you couldn't
keep our bargain.
412
00:20:17,585 --> 00:20:20,043
Two hours and already
you're working.
413
00:20:20,873 --> 00:20:21,960
I'm writing my will.
414
00:20:22,043 --> 00:20:23,876
This way, when they
find our bleached
bones
415
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,751
someone will know
my last wishes.
416
00:20:25,835 --> 00:20:27,335
Well, if these are
my last minutes
417
00:20:27,418 --> 00:20:29,585
who better to spend
them with?
418
00:20:29,668 --> 00:20:33,293
Alone in paradise
with the woman I love.
419
00:20:33,376 --> 00:20:35,463
It's almost Biblical.
420
00:20:36,376 --> 00:20:38,335
While you were out...
looking around
421
00:20:38,418 --> 00:20:40,210
you didn't happen
to find any proof
422
00:20:40,293 --> 00:20:42,873
that there actually
is a hotel, did you?
423
00:20:42,210 --> 00:20:44,793
No, but why wouldn't
there be a hotel?
424
00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:48,335
Well, maybe...no one
built one
425
00:20:48,418 --> 00:20:51,668
or maybe we're on
the wrong island, or..
426
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,876
...maybe this is
a penal colony
427
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,501
or-or maybe no living being
has ever been here
428
00:20:57,585 --> 00:20:58,710
in the history
of the Earth!
429
00:20:58,793 --> 00:20:59,876
Why don't you just go
430
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,626
and take a quick buzz
and look?
431
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:03,251
Now, how would I do that?
432
00:21:03,335 --> 00:21:04,751
I don't buzz anywhere.
433
00:21:04,835 --> 00:21:07,876
Yes, but Superman does.
434
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,460
Yes, but..
435
00:21:09,543 --> 00:21:12,210
Superman is not here.
436
00:21:12,293 --> 00:21:13,710
That's cute.
437
00:21:13,793 --> 00:21:15,210
[chuckles]
438
00:21:15,293 --> 00:21:17,918
Boy, that's really,
really, uh..
439
00:21:19,835 --> 00:21:21,873
...cute.
440
00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:24,376
Well, okay.
441
00:21:28,168 --> 00:21:31,710
Hmm.
442
00:21:31,793 --> 00:21:33,710
Thank you.
443
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,001
I knew you'd come through.
444
00:21:35,463 --> 00:21:36,626
A joke's a joke,
huh, but..
445
00:21:38,168 --> 00:21:39,501
Where's the suit?
446
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:41,668
What suit? There is no
suit.
I left it at home.
447
00:21:41,751 --> 00:21:42,751
It's just you and me
448
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:44,418
Joe and Judy Regular.
449
00:21:44,501 --> 00:21:46,751
- Uh!
- Wanna neck?
450
00:21:48,835 --> 00:21:50,585
[dramatic music]
451
00:21:52,376 --> 00:21:54,043
[Spencer laughing]
452
00:21:54,873 --> 00:21:55,626
(Spencer)
'Can you believe these two?'
453
00:21:55,710 --> 00:21:58,751
'Looking forward to some
fun in the sun?'
454
00:21:58,835 --> 00:22:01,001
[laughing]
455
00:22:01,463 --> 00:22:03,463
Pretty quick it'll
hit 'em,
they're in trouble.
456
00:22:03,168 --> 00:22:05,463
That's when they'll
call
in the big boy.
457
00:22:06,668 --> 00:22:08,918
[whirring]
458
00:22:09,001 --> 00:22:12,585
Oh, well, I've never been
a patient man.
459
00:22:12,668 --> 00:22:14,463
Do it!
460
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:18,543
[whirring]
461
00:22:18,626 --> 00:22:20,626
[growling]
462
00:22:27,376 --> 00:22:28,918
[roaring]
463
00:22:36,418 --> 00:22:38,793
[dramatic music]
464
00:22:42,463 --> 00:22:43,460
[growling]
465
00:22:46,668 --> 00:22:48,710
[music continues]
466
00:22:48,793 --> 00:22:50,293
[sighs]
467
00:22:50,376 --> 00:22:51,918
- Hi.
- Hi.
468
00:22:53,376 --> 00:22:56,876
Oh, God! It wasn't a dream.
We are here.
469
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,501
[laughs]
470
00:22:58,585 --> 00:23:02,710
- What are you doing?
- I am building our hut.
471
00:23:02,793 --> 00:23:04,543
Our hut?
472
00:23:04,626 --> 00:23:07,418
Well, I figure
the hotel people
473
00:23:07,501 --> 00:23:10,001
will be here before nightfall
or
the boat people will come back
474
00:23:10,463 --> 00:23:12,210
and realize that they have
put us in the wrong place.
475
00:23:12,293 --> 00:23:13,960
Either way,
we'll need shelter.
476
00:23:14,043 --> 00:23:17,463
No, no, what we need
is a sauna and a massage
477
00:23:17,168 --> 00:23:18,543
and some room service.
478
00:23:18,626 --> 00:23:21,793
So why don't you scoop me up
into your arms and fly us off?
479
00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:23,463
Maybe we're near Rio.
480
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,168
No scooping,
no flying.
481
00:23:25,251 --> 00:23:27,168
You have been scooping
and flying
482
00:23:27,251 --> 00:23:29,876
on a fairly regular basis
ever since I've known you.
483
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,463
And now, now that we're
surrounded by crazed insects
484
00:23:33,168 --> 00:23:34,876
and murderous plants
485
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,626
now you think
would be a bad time!
486
00:23:36,710 --> 00:23:38,543
Lois, you challenged
me
to let the world
487
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,460
get along without
me
for a weekend.
488
00:23:40,543 --> 00:23:42,835
Me and the world we seem
to be doing just fine.
489
00:23:42,918 --> 00:23:44,835
You, on the other
hand,
are a wreck.
490
00:23:44,918 --> 00:23:47,293
Oh! Really?
You think I'm a wreck?
491
00:23:47,376 --> 00:23:49,751
Well, I'll show you
what a wreck I am.
492
00:23:49,835 --> 00:23:52,463
Let me get these
pantyhose off!
493
00:23:52,168 --> 00:23:54,751
Hand me one of
those palm leaves.
494
00:23:54,835 --> 00:23:55,918
Here you go.
495
00:23:57,293 --> 00:23:58,751
[laughs]
496
00:23:58,835 --> 00:24:01,543
I just wish you didn't look
like
your having such a good time.
497
00:24:01,626 --> 00:24:04,418
Oh! I've hadn't had
a vacation in years.
498
00:24:04,501 --> 00:24:06,293
'Ow! Oh!'
499
00:24:07,710 --> 00:24:10,960
Trust me! There could
be better ones.
500
00:24:11,043 --> 00:24:12,543
Okay, what do you
do with this?
501
00:24:14,751 --> 00:24:16,001
Too boring.
502
00:24:17,626 --> 00:24:19,376
Bigger print.
503
00:24:23,376 --> 00:24:25,585
The tiger ran away?
504
00:24:25,668 --> 00:24:29,918
You said this was the
most
vicious animal alive.
505
00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:31,793
And it is.
506
00:24:31,876 --> 00:24:36,463
Assuming that, uh,
it keeps going, you know..
507
00:24:36,168 --> 00:24:38,251
...forward.
508
00:24:38,335 --> 00:24:40,251
Contaminate the drinking water!
509
00:24:42,251 --> 00:24:43,918
[sighs]
510
00:24:44,001 --> 00:24:45,251
It's not so bad.
511
00:24:45,335 --> 00:24:49,043
No. No, I think
it
looks pretty
sturdy.
512
00:24:50,876 --> 00:24:53,043
Gee, our first house.
513
00:24:55,835 --> 00:24:58,043
Hey, I thought
you said no
scooping.
514
00:24:58,873 --> 00:25:00,543
This is not scooping.
This is carrying.
515
00:25:00,626 --> 00:25:02,668
I'm carrying you
over the threshold.
516
00:25:05,335 --> 00:25:07,668
♪ Da da dum ♪♪
517
00:25:07,751 --> 00:25:09,168
Our new home.
518
00:25:12,876 --> 00:25:15,918
No, no, Alice, it's
okay
I'll go to the video
store.
519
00:25:16,001 --> 00:25:17,293
Uh, what's
your
second choice
520
00:25:17,376 --> 00:25:19,168
if they're out of
"Tora, Tora,
Tora"?
521
00:25:20,626 --> 00:25:22,710
Oh, some breaking news,
dumpling. I got to go.
522
00:25:24,293 --> 00:25:27,918
Chief, sometimes it seems
like you're afraid of Alice.
523
00:25:28,001 --> 00:25:30,960
I am, Jimmy. I am.
524
00:25:31,043 --> 00:25:33,960
- Any word from Lois and Clark?
- No. And there won't be.
525
00:25:34,043 --> 00:25:36,460
CK says the island doesn't
even have any phones.
526
00:25:36,543 --> 00:25:38,960
Ah, no phones.
527
00:25:39,043 --> 00:25:42,376
Jimmy, learn the
value
of life's treasures
528
00:25:42,460 --> 00:25:45,501
a beautiful woman,
a bottle of rum..
529
00:25:45,585 --> 00:25:48,876
[Perry laughing]
Oh, boy, I envy Clark.
530
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:52,876
Those two, they must be
in seventh heaven right
now.
531
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,418
Aah!
532
00:25:55,501 --> 00:25:57,168
[chuckles]
What happened?
533
00:25:57,251 --> 00:25:59,418
I thought a swim
might be nice.
534
00:26:06,876 --> 00:26:10,835
Uh, Lois! Uh, that water
doesn't look so good.
535
00:26:10,918 --> 00:26:13,501
But look, th-there's a
natural
spring right over here.
536
00:26:17,418 --> 00:26:18,876
Where have you
been anyway?
537
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,501
Ah, I was searching for food.
538
00:26:24,873 --> 00:26:27,585
And, boy, are we lucky.
Look at all these bananas.
539
00:26:27,668 --> 00:26:29,873
Here, this water
is a lot better.
540
00:26:29,210 --> 00:26:33,376
Great. By the
way,
I hate bananas.
541
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:36,293
Well, there's always
roots and snails.
542
00:26:36,376 --> 00:26:37,835
I can't believe
I was
complaining
543
00:26:37,918 --> 00:26:39,710
about camembert
from France.
544
00:26:39,793 --> 00:26:42,668
It's like those words
came
from a different woman
545
00:26:42,751 --> 00:26:44,960
a clean woman, a dope.
546
00:26:45,043 --> 00:26:46,376
'Well, if there's
any fish in here'
547
00:26:46,460 --> 00:26:48,710
I bet I can figure out
a way to catch one.
548
00:26:48,793 --> 00:26:51,335
My pop used to take me fishing
all the time when I was a kid.
549
00:26:51,418 --> 00:26:52,668
I got pretty good.
550
00:26:52,751 --> 00:26:54,668
I've never been fishing.
551
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,543
He's just an ordinary
guy,
my father
552
00:27:00,626 --> 00:27:03,543
who loves to do
this ordinary
thing..
553
00:27:03,626 --> 00:27:07,376
...fishing. I-I guess I love
it
because he loved it.
554
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:09,710
Your parents are
really wonderful.
555
00:27:13,335 --> 00:27:15,918
Maybe I want to get married
and have kids
556
00:27:16,001 --> 00:27:17,793
because they made it
look like so much fun.
557
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,876
- Oh, God.
- What?
558
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,668
I'm just never gonna be as
good
of a mother as yours was.
559
00:27:23,751 --> 00:27:25,168
'What do I know about it?'
560
00:27:25,251 --> 00:27:26,835
Your parents made
marriage look fun.
561
00:27:26,918 --> 00:27:28,418
Mine made it look
like a root canal.
562
00:27:28,501 --> 00:27:30,585
- Lois..
- 'Mother was always
depressed.'
563
00:27:30,668 --> 00:27:32,335
My sister wouldn't
come out of her room.
564
00:27:32,418 --> 00:27:34,918
My father only
related to cyborgs.
565
00:27:35,001 --> 00:27:36,460
I didn't want a family.
566
00:27:36,543 --> 00:27:38,585
I ran away as far
as I could.
567
00:27:38,668 --> 00:27:42,168
Okay, so your
parents
made some mistakes.
568
00:27:42,251 --> 00:27:44,043
That doesn't mean
that you're gonna.
569
00:27:44,873 --> 00:27:45,751
How do you know?
570
00:27:45,835 --> 00:27:48,585
Because I hear that the
guy
that wants to marry you
571
00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:51,460
is really, really terrific.
572
00:27:52,876 --> 00:27:55,835
[instrumental music]
573
00:28:00,626 --> 00:28:02,463
[dramatic music]
574
00:28:03,918 --> 00:28:05,876
[whimpering]
575
00:28:09,876 --> 00:28:12,460
One last trial run
before the big event?
576
00:28:12,543 --> 00:28:14,668
Jawohl,
Herr Spencer Spencer.
577
00:28:14,751 --> 00:28:17,460
No...no!
578
00:28:17,543 --> 00:28:19,293
Get him out of here.
579
00:28:19,376 --> 00:28:21,876
[music continues]
580
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,668
(male #1)
'No!'
581
00:28:27,043 --> 00:28:28,710
Well, they're not sick
582
00:28:28,793 --> 00:28:30,876
and there's no sign
of Superman anywhere.
583
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,463
I'm not a patient man.
584
00:28:33,168 --> 00:28:34,543
I'm telling you
585
00:28:34,626 --> 00:28:37,835
they look like
they don't want to be rescued.
586
00:28:37,918 --> 00:28:39,585
Grab 'em!
587
00:28:42,001 --> 00:28:43,626
(male #1)
'No!'
588
00:28:45,376 --> 00:28:47,460
[dramatic music]
589
00:28:52,918 --> 00:28:54,293
Ooh!
590
00:28:54,376 --> 00:28:56,251
Oh, Superman..
591
00:28:57,751 --> 00:28:59,710
...what a way to go.
592
00:29:02,793 --> 00:29:05,001
[crickets chirping]
593
00:29:10,793 --> 00:29:13,710
[laughs]
I guess you never
learned how to do that.
594
00:29:13,793 --> 00:29:16,001
[chuckles]
Think about it, Lois.
595
00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:19,251
Why would I ever have
to learn how to do this?
596
00:29:19,335 --> 00:29:22,668
Well, it just so happens that
I'm a former girl scout.
597
00:29:22,751 --> 00:29:26,001
Good, 'cause I'm a strange
visitor from another planet.
598
00:29:26,463 --> 00:29:27,876
[chuckles]
599
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,918
So I guess by now
600
00:29:30,001 --> 00:29:32,876
you concede that we
are
on the wrong island?
601
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:34,376
[chuckles]
Well, yeah.
602
00:29:35,710 --> 00:29:37,043
Why, do you want to leave?
603
00:29:38,293 --> 00:29:41,335
Um...no.
604
00:29:41,418 --> 00:29:44,418
I suppose I could stick it
out
for...one night.
605
00:29:44,501 --> 00:29:45,835
Good.
606
00:29:47,376 --> 00:29:49,668
Go get some dried leaves.
607
00:29:52,918 --> 00:29:54,418
Clark, hurry up.
608
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:56,501
- It's starting to smoke.
- Okay.
609
00:29:56,585 --> 00:29:59,168
Okay, put the leaves on.
610
00:29:59,251 --> 00:30:00,460
Now, blow.
611
00:30:01,585 --> 00:30:02,751
Oh!
612
00:30:03,918 --> 00:30:06,001
Um, well, that was good.
613
00:30:06,463 --> 00:30:08,335
Next time you blow..
614
00:30:08,418 --> 00:30:10,668
...just remember that
it's a campfire
615
00:30:10,751 --> 00:30:12,585
'not a nuclear reactor.'
616
00:30:12,668 --> 00:30:13,793
Sorry.
617
00:30:13,876 --> 00:30:16,585
That's okay.
Let's try again.
618
00:30:16,668 --> 00:30:17,918
[both laughing]
619
00:30:18,001 --> 00:30:20,918
Here we go.
Okay, now blow.
620
00:30:23,168 --> 00:30:24,418
Blow.
621
00:30:25,835 --> 00:30:28,043
Faster!
622
00:30:30,210 --> 00:30:32,335
[laughing]
623
00:30:32,418 --> 00:30:33,626
What's so funny?
624
00:30:33,710 --> 00:30:35,293
Well, this is
exactly
what I thought
625
00:30:35,376 --> 00:30:37,210
camping with
Clark
would be like.
626
00:30:37,293 --> 00:30:39,793
Well, Lois,
you are camping with Clark.
627
00:30:39,876 --> 00:30:41,876
Oh!
628
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,668
- We did it.
- Alright.
629
00:30:43,751 --> 00:30:45,873
[sighs]
630
00:30:46,668 --> 00:30:49,751
Now, if we only had
some
hot dogs on a stick.
631
00:30:49,835 --> 00:30:51,626
Ah, the next best thing.
632
00:30:53,376 --> 00:30:54,460
'Oh, boy.'
633
00:30:54,543 --> 00:30:57,668
There you go,
banana on a stick.
634
00:30:57,751 --> 00:31:00,168
Is this how you do this?
635
00:31:00,251 --> 00:31:02,668
- I guess.
- I wonder what it tastes
like?
636
00:31:02,751 --> 00:31:05,251
[instrumental music]
637
00:31:07,793 --> 00:31:10,876
You know, I dreamed of this..
638
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,668
...spending the night
in your arms.
639
00:31:15,626 --> 00:31:18,585
First it was Superman
I dreamed of.
640
00:31:20,873 --> 00:31:21,960
Then it was Clark.
641
00:31:25,873 --> 00:31:26,918
And what happened?
642
00:31:28,835 --> 00:31:30,376
Well..
643
00:31:30,460 --> 00:31:32,793
...first you held me
in your arms..
644
00:31:35,751 --> 00:31:38,043
...and then..
645
00:31:38,873 --> 00:31:39,960
...we kissed.
646
00:31:43,876 --> 00:31:46,463
- And..
- And?
647
00:31:46,168 --> 00:31:49,168
And then I asked you
how you felt about me.
648
00:31:53,001 --> 00:31:57,460
I don't know...
how I feel about you.
649
00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:01,876
There is no one way.
650
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,876
I feel..
651
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,793
[sighs]
...so many...things
652
00:32:07,876 --> 00:32:09,918
and all at once.
653
00:32:13,873 --> 00:32:14,710
Happy...
654
00:32:16,463 --> 00:32:17,751
...but kind of scared, too.
655
00:32:19,835 --> 00:32:21,835
Excited.
656
00:32:21,918 --> 00:32:23,501
Calm.
657
00:32:25,873 --> 00:32:26,585
Lost.
658
00:32:29,751 --> 00:32:31,501
Found.
659
00:32:33,543 --> 00:32:37,335
I feel safe in a way
that I've never known
660
00:32:37,418 --> 00:32:40,501
but...in danger, too.
661
00:32:40,585 --> 00:32:44,043
This thing between
us,
whatever it is..
662
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,873
...it's stronger than me.
663
00:32:52,418 --> 00:32:56,876
Being with you...is
stronger than me
alone.
664
00:33:00,873 --> 00:33:01,626
That's new to me.
665
00:33:01,710 --> 00:33:04,710
[instrumental music]
666
00:33:10,251 --> 00:33:12,710
[dramatic music]
667
00:33:36,043 --> 00:33:38,168
(Belzer)
On your feet.
668
00:33:41,543 --> 00:33:43,960
[intense music]
669
00:33:49,376 --> 00:33:50,585
I'll tell you what.
670
00:33:50,668 --> 00:33:52,873
I'm willing to forgo the bet
671
00:33:52,210 --> 00:33:53,793
anytime you wanna
change into..
672
00:33:53,876 --> 00:33:56,293
[whispering]
...Superman,
it's fine with
me.
673
00:33:56,376 --> 00:33:59,668
Lois, I kinda have to pick
my moments for changing into..
674
00:33:59,751 --> 00:34:00,918
[whispering]
...Superman.
675
00:34:01,001 --> 00:34:03,710
This one. This
moment.
Pick this one.
676
00:34:03,793 --> 00:34:06,585
Maybe we're being watched.
I don't have the suit.
677
00:34:06,668 --> 00:34:08,168
Maybe we'd bust out of here
and never find out
678
00:34:08,251 --> 00:34:09,335
what's behind all this.
679
00:34:09,418 --> 00:34:10,918
Do you have
rules
for everything?
680
00:34:11,001 --> 00:34:13,463
- Because that'd be good--
- You're being impulsive.
681
00:34:13,168 --> 00:34:15,835
I'd really like to think
twice
about marrying somebody
682
00:34:15,918 --> 00:34:17,793
with that kind of impulsive--
683
00:34:17,876 --> 00:34:19,960
(Belzer)
'Hey, pipe down.'
684
00:34:24,001 --> 00:34:27,376
Your host requests the honor
of your company upstairs.
685
00:34:30,668 --> 00:34:32,335
(Lois)
'Ah, I think I'm gonna
have to pass.'
686
00:34:32,418 --> 00:34:33,668
'I forgot my party clothes.'
687
00:34:33,751 --> 00:34:36,293
Spencer Spencer says
to come-as-you-are.
688
00:34:36,376 --> 00:34:37,793
Hey, hold it, Houdini!
689
00:34:40,463 --> 00:34:42,251
- Aah!
- Nap time, sweetheart.
690
00:34:43,585 --> 00:34:46,043
I don't how you got
out of those chains
691
00:34:46,873 --> 00:34:48,835
but this toxin will
kill her
in a few minutes.
692
00:34:48,918 --> 00:34:50,418
The antidote is upstairs.
693
00:34:50,501 --> 00:34:51,960
If you so much as blink
694
00:34:52,043 --> 00:34:53,710
she won't get it
695
00:34:53,793 --> 00:34:56,210
and you could say goodbye
to your babe.
696
00:34:59,918 --> 00:35:01,918
'If he even breathes wrong'
697
00:35:02,001 --> 00:35:04,501
hit the alarm,
and this one dies.
698
00:35:05,460 --> 00:35:08,418
[dramatic music]
699
00:35:20,876 --> 00:35:23,585
Come on!
700
00:35:23,668 --> 00:35:27,043
Wake up!
701
00:35:27,873 --> 00:35:28,668
'I've had lousy
dates before'
702
00:35:28,751 --> 00:35:30,668
'but this is ridiculous.'
703
00:35:37,751 --> 00:35:41,873
Hiya, toots.
I'm Spencer Spencer.
704
00:35:41,210 --> 00:35:43,463
Welcome to my windowless lair.
705
00:35:43,168 --> 00:35:45,873
You're Spencer Spencer?
706
00:35:48,463 --> 00:35:49,835
I thought you'd be...taller.
707
00:35:49,918 --> 00:35:52,585
You know, you're lovely
when you're revolted.
708
00:35:52,668 --> 00:35:54,043
Look, I don't know
what's going on here
709
00:35:54,873 --> 00:35:55,335
but you might as well
just let me go.
710
00:35:55,418 --> 00:35:56,751
Superman will be here
any minute.
711
00:35:56,835 --> 00:36:01,418
Well, that'd be just
hunky dory with me.
712
00:36:01,501 --> 00:36:04,460
[intense music]
713
00:36:20,543 --> 00:36:22,460
[zapping]
714
00:36:27,710 --> 00:36:28,960
This place lined with lead?
715
00:36:29,043 --> 00:36:31,376
It was built as
a fallout shelter.
716
00:36:31,460 --> 00:36:32,918
Quiet.
717
00:36:34,376 --> 00:36:36,418
[music continues]
718
00:36:42,793 --> 00:36:45,251
What's he doing with her?
719
00:36:45,335 --> 00:36:46,626
Anything he wants.
720
00:36:46,710 --> 00:36:48,585
Well, that exactly does he want?
721
00:36:51,251 --> 00:36:52,376
Superman.
722
00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:54,418
[dramatic music]
723
00:36:56,251 --> 00:36:58,335
You know, I was gonna kill you
724
00:36:58,418 --> 00:37:00,001
'for all that crap
you wrote about me'
725
00:37:00,463 --> 00:37:01,376
but then I thought
you might prefer
726
00:37:01,460 --> 00:37:03,543
an exciting career
opportunity.
727
00:37:03,626 --> 00:37:06,918
- What do you mean?
- You can be my sex slave.
728
00:37:07,001 --> 00:37:10,543
- Kill me.
- I know. I know. The body.
729
00:37:10,626 --> 00:37:13,168
Maybe I shouldn't hide
it in a box.
730
00:37:13,251 --> 00:37:15,251
Maybe you imagine it worse
than it is.
731
00:37:15,335 --> 00:37:16,710
Maybe?
732
00:37:16,793 --> 00:37:18,210
You couldn't imagine
worse than this!
733
00:37:18,293 --> 00:37:19,876
My only chance
at girls like you
734
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,668
is shooting 'em up
with cobra venom!
735
00:37:21,751 --> 00:37:23,001
And then it's iffy.
736
00:37:23,463 --> 00:37:24,501
But all that's
gonna change now
737
00:37:24,585 --> 00:37:26,835
thanks to modern medicine.
738
00:37:26,918 --> 00:37:28,960
[whirring]
739
00:37:31,751 --> 00:37:33,418
Oh, my God.
740
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:36,543
What? I don't look good
in tights?
741
00:37:36,626 --> 00:37:38,585
The headless bodies,
it was you.
742
00:37:38,668 --> 00:37:40,463
[dramatic music]
743
00:37:41,626 --> 00:37:43,543
He says he can
get you want you want.
744
00:37:43,626 --> 00:37:44,793
- Lois?
- Clark.
745
00:37:44,876 --> 00:37:47,585
Shut up. Blow.
746
00:37:47,668 --> 00:37:51,293
Mess up, and she'll look
like a goalie for a dart
team.
747
00:37:53,835 --> 00:37:55,668
Okay, Spencer,
here's the deal.
748
00:37:58,293 --> 00:37:59,876
- I'm Superman.
- Clark!
749
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:02,873
- What?
- I am Superman.
750
00:38:02,210 --> 00:38:04,210
- No, he's not.
- Lois, stop.
751
00:38:04,293 --> 00:38:07,043
- No, he's not.
- Yes, I am.
752
00:38:07,873 --> 00:38:09,251
I think you should know
this man is insane.
753
00:38:09,335 --> 00:38:11,835
- Lois!
- So where's the suit?
754
00:38:11,918 --> 00:38:14,168
No, don't tell me,
you left it at home.
755
00:38:15,418 --> 00:38:17,293
- As a matter of fact.
- Oy..
756
00:38:17,376 --> 00:38:19,463
Someone get him out of here!
757
00:38:19,168 --> 00:38:21,168
Keep your eye
on the candelabra.
758
00:38:21,251 --> 00:38:22,626
Clark!
759
00:38:25,001 --> 00:38:26,543
[zapping]
760
00:38:30,168 --> 00:38:32,585
Gee, am I impressed.
761
00:38:34,001 --> 00:38:35,835
Is there, uh, Kryptonite here?
762
00:38:37,251 --> 00:38:39,335
I have that feeling.
763
00:38:39,418 --> 00:38:40,793
Well, Spencer,
you figured me out.
764
00:38:40,876 --> 00:38:43,418
- I-I'm not Superman.
- He's not Superman.
765
00:38:43,501 --> 00:38:44,918
A passing resemblance, maybe.
766
00:38:45,001 --> 00:38:46,293
It's a thing
he does at parties.
767
00:38:46,376 --> 00:38:47,918
So now if you'll
just let her go--
768
00:38:48,001 --> 00:38:50,751
Enough! I don't know
what's going on here
769
00:38:50,835 --> 00:38:52,668
but...something is.
770
00:38:52,751 --> 00:38:54,918
Pescado!
Bring in the you-know-what!
771
00:38:59,543 --> 00:39:01,876
[dramatic music]
772
00:39:04,835 --> 00:39:05,918
[groans]
773
00:39:06,001 --> 00:39:07,210
Clark!
774
00:39:08,668 --> 00:39:11,001
It is him!
775
00:39:11,463 --> 00:39:12,543
Doctor..
776
00:39:12,626 --> 00:39:14,585
...scrub for surgery.
777
00:39:14,668 --> 00:39:16,001
[music continues]
778
00:39:18,876 --> 00:39:20,960
Get in your cage.
779
00:39:25,210 --> 00:39:27,668
[crackling]
780
00:39:46,251 --> 00:39:48,710
[music continues]
781
00:39:55,626 --> 00:39:57,960
Following the removal
of the head
782
00:39:58,043 --> 00:40:01,251
we will immediately freeze
the body in liquid nitrogen
783
00:40:01,335 --> 00:40:03,460
for attachment to you.
784
00:40:07,751 --> 00:40:10,210
[music continues]
785
00:40:37,793 --> 00:40:40,793
Ah! The Kryptonite has
rendered his flesh
786
00:40:40,876 --> 00:40:43,585
completely vulnerable.
787
00:40:43,668 --> 00:40:45,501
[dramatic music]
788
00:40:48,626 --> 00:40:51,668
Night-night, Superman.
789
00:40:53,460 --> 00:40:55,918
[intense music]
790
00:41:08,001 --> 00:41:10,501
[singing in German]
791
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,460
[intense music]
792
00:41:34,710 --> 00:41:35,960
[continues singing]
793
00:41:39,710 --> 00:41:42,168
[dramatic music]
794
00:41:44,873 --> 00:41:45,960
Heidi!
795
00:42:00,376 --> 00:42:01,668
Heidi!
796
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:05,501
Belzer!
797
00:42:09,376 --> 00:42:11,210
Get whoever just
ran out of here.
798
00:42:11,293 --> 00:42:12,543
Do it, Pescado!
799
00:42:14,501 --> 00:42:16,043
Klavel, let's go!
800
00:42:17,793 --> 00:42:20,210
[dramatic music]
801
00:42:20,293 --> 00:42:22,751
[grunting]
802
00:42:30,626 --> 00:42:33,876
Damn it, doctor! Make the cut
before he regains full
strength!
803
00:42:36,460 --> 00:42:38,001
Heidi, the Nitrogen!
804
00:42:38,463 --> 00:42:39,793
Jawohl, Herr doctor.
805
00:42:41,460 --> 00:42:43,873
[both grunting]
806
00:42:45,376 --> 00:42:46,710
[wind howling]
807
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,918
[intense music]
808
00:42:53,751 --> 00:42:55,835
'Okay. That'll hold you.'
809
00:42:57,293 --> 00:43:00,001
[gunfire]
810
00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:08,626
[gunfire]
811
00:43:10,376 --> 00:43:12,043
[ice shattering]
812
00:43:12,873 --> 00:43:14,960
[music continues]
813
00:43:17,376 --> 00:43:19,463
[both groaning]
814
00:43:22,043 --> 00:43:23,460
Oh, gee.
815
00:43:25,293 --> 00:43:27,168
Where's Spencer Spencer?
816
00:43:29,376 --> 00:43:31,668
He's a...broken man.
817
00:43:34,463 --> 00:43:36,873
I'll call someone
to pick up those
two.
818
00:43:36,210 --> 00:43:38,001
And then could we
please go home?
819
00:43:38,463 --> 00:43:42,460
[chuckles]
Do you wanna,
uh...wait for a
boat?
820
00:43:42,543 --> 00:43:44,835
No. I want to fly.
821
00:43:44,918 --> 00:43:46,626
First class.
822
00:43:46,710 --> 00:43:48,043
Okay.
823
00:43:51,710 --> 00:43:55,463
So, so, uh, he tried
to decapitate Superman
824
00:43:55,168 --> 00:43:57,293
and make you
his love slave?
825
00:43:57,376 --> 00:43:59,251
Oh, this is terrific stuff!
826
00:43:59,335 --> 00:44:03,251
Ah, well, I mean, of course
you must be very shaken up
827
00:44:03,335 --> 00:44:05,335
'uh, unable to write even.'
828
00:44:05,418 --> 00:44:07,918
I'm sending you
the story now.
829
00:44:08,001 --> 00:44:09,418
'Oh, great.'
830
00:44:09,501 --> 00:44:11,501
Now, uh, Lois, um..
831
00:44:11,585 --> 00:44:14,335
...about that other thing
with Clark.
832
00:44:14,418 --> 00:44:16,835
'Uh, have you thought
it over yet?'
833
00:44:16,918 --> 00:44:18,835
Well, things have been
pretty hectic.
834
00:44:18,918 --> 00:44:22,293
But you know that other side
to him I mentioned?
835
00:44:22,376 --> 00:44:24,626
I think I decided
it's something
836
00:44:24,710 --> 00:44:26,543
I could put up with.
837
00:44:28,543 --> 00:44:30,460
- Goodnight, Perry.
- Goodnight, sweetie.
838
00:44:30,543 --> 00:44:33,251
Oh-oh, listen,
Lois...great work.
839
00:44:34,626 --> 00:44:36,335
[laptop beeping]
840
00:44:38,001 --> 00:44:39,585
[tapping on window]
841
00:44:44,335 --> 00:44:47,043
I was, uh..
842
00:44:47,873 --> 00:44:48,293
...out.
843
00:44:48,376 --> 00:44:50,251
And I wondered
how you were doing.
844
00:44:52,001 --> 00:44:54,460
Dare I ask
where these are from?
845
00:44:54,543 --> 00:44:56,043
Uh, down the
street.
Tony's.
846
00:44:56,873 --> 00:44:58,751
I paid cash.
You want to see a
receipt?
847
00:44:58,835 --> 00:45:00,710
[chuckles]
No.
848
00:45:04,876 --> 00:45:07,376
[instrumental music]
849
00:45:15,751 --> 00:45:19,463
[chuckles]
Well, I
better..
850
00:45:22,463 --> 00:45:23,543
Hmm.
851
00:45:26,876 --> 00:45:28,460
[music continues]
852
00:45:44,585 --> 00:45:46,876
[theme music]