[carnival music]
(male #1) 'Mic check, one, two.'
'Mic check. One, two. Mic check.'
Step right up! Step right up, folks!
Step right up and have your futures
told by Madame Velofsky.
She knows all, she sees all
and she tells all.
How much of my dollar is going to charity?
A 100%.
One hundred pennies of your dollar will go to charity.
See your destiny with Madame Velofsky.
Okay, I'm sold.
Lois! Is that you?
Honey, I need some help.
I cannot keep these fingernails on.
How in thunder you women put up with all of this is beyond me.
Oh, just a minute. Just a minute, sir.
Come on, Lois.
You'll be here when I get back, right?
You're not going to have some sudden urge
to buy a video or put money
in the parking meter or go get
yourself new shoelaces?
Lois, I'm about to lose a customer.
[bell ringing]
Is this your idea of a date?
Do you think Scardino takes her to silly street fairs
buys her cotton candy?
Jimmy, I don't care what Scardino does.
- Oh. - Hi, guys. Lois around?
Yeah, and she's, uh, with me.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Like a date? - Yeah, like a date.
You know, where she and I are together
for a period of time as a couple.
Now, she is with me, and I am with her.
Look out! Look out! I can't hold this!
Look out below. Somebody get him out of the way!
'I-I can't hold it!'
Look out! Look out below!
[whoosh]
Oh, my gosh!
- Glad I was nearby. - Thanks, Superman.
My gosh, Calvin, are you alright?
Uh, he's a little bit dazed, but he'll be fine.
Fine? Fine?
He broke my hand, Elise!
Just when I get my big break in showbiz
this baboon busts my hand!
Take me to the hospital right now.
I mean it.
Clark?
- So, now you know. - Know what?
Just about how much you mean to Clark Kent.
[theme music]
[explosion]
[music continues]
[carnival music]
Probably had a good reason.
Yeah, sure, he did. Probably had to buy some ties.
I'm sorry, Lois. The guy just brings it out in me.
Well, I don't understand what you see in him.
Well, he's nice.
And he's kind.
And he's patient.
Oh. I thought you were mad at him.
I'm mad at both of you.
(male #2) 'Hey, man, you forgot your prize.'
Uh, me? Why me?
Because you deliberately horned in on my date with Clark
and you tried to make him look bad.
I didn't have to try very hard.
And because you think gifts solve everything
and because you won't talk to me about your work!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lois.
You know that's not personal. But I'm here.
I'm here because I want to be with you whenever I can.
Now, can you say that about Clark Kent?
I mean, h-he's the one you had a date with.
Where is he?
I'm a musician! I'm an artist! I need both my hands!
What would Jimi Hendrix have been with one hand?
I'll tell you what. He'd have been nobody!
He'd have been nothing! He'd have been--
Sweetie, he'd have been alive.
You're alive, Calvin
and you're going to be fine.
You don't understand anything.
You're a waitress, for God's sake.
You serve slabs of dead cow to fat businessmen.
You wouldn't know art if it jumped up and bit your kneecap!
(Superman) You know, people who love each other
are supposed to be kind to each other.
What are you? A greeting card on steroids?
You fly around
butting your nose in other people's business.
Who asked you?
Listen, I've never been sorry
that I've saved anyone's life before, Mr. Dregg.
- I'd hate to start now. - Why are you still here?
What are you waiting for? Gratitude?
You ruined my life!
It will heal.
Please go. He won't calm down unless you go.
Really, I'll be fine. And thank you.
You ruined my life!
[sighs]
It is not just some dumb guy thing, Lois.
I'm a federal agent. You're a reporter.
Our professional loyalties conflict.
Not to mention the fact that if you know too much about
what I'm doing, you could be in danger.
Oh, so that's what this is.
This is you protecting the little woman?
- Sometimes. - I don't need protecting.
What do you need? What do you want, Lois?
I just want one man. One whole man.
Is that too much to ask for?
And what do I have to choose from?
I've got one guy who's really wonderful
only he disappears every time I try and talk to him
and one guy who's really exciting to be with
only he won't talk to me about his work.
What do people talk about if they don't talk about
what they did all day?
And one guy who is out of this world..
...literally.
I thought you'd given up the Superman fantasy.
Well, my head has
but, you know my heart is just...conflicted.
So, it would seem.
Could we just go over my options?
Well, your current options are
one wonderful guy
who is apparently afraid of commitment
one exciting guy who, uh, wants to control the conversation
and one superhero who is apparently unattainable.
Or it could be that none of them is right for you.
You know
you just seem to have this annoying little habit
of repeating back to me everything that I just said.
Sometimes, we can't hear what we're saying
unless somebody reflects it back.
They make me really mad!
Hmm.
And what do you think
you might want to do about that?
[screaming] Aah!
Lois?
Jimmy, did you hear something?
Like what?
It sounded a little like my name.
You didn't say my name, did you?
No. Um, Clark did.
Clark who?
- Lois. - There it is again.
Oh.
- Lois. - What?
No. Don't say a word. Allow me.
"Lois, I can explain.
"I suddenly remembered that I had to get
"my mother's sister's poodle's hair cut
"and so you can see why I had to leave you
"in the middle of our date with your thumb in your ear
but I'm sure you'll understand."
How am I doing so far?
[sighs]
[instrumental music]
Elise!
My hand really itches.
And it really hurts.
You stay.
So, while the male lion basks majestically
in the warm sun of the veldt
the female hunts and cares for her young.
Goodbye, sweetie.
You're not going to work!
What if I need something?
Calvin, everything you need
is right there on the TV tray.
What if I need to write something down?
You know, like a phone message?
Use your other hand!
What if I need to open a can of beer?
Calvin, I'm sorry. Really, I am.
But I have to go to work.
Have you been injured? Just call Barry Barker!
I'll go to the mat for you. I'll sue anybody for anything!
And when I say anybody, I mean anybody!
Superman? Superman?
Finally, I'll be famous! Finally, I'll get respect.
Finally, women will sense my power.
Excuse me. This is about me!
Of course, it is, my boy. I know that.
I never lose sight of the true objective.
I'll take your case, and it won't cost you a cent.
I'll be working entirely on contingency.
Forty percent of the settlement when we win.
Forty percent?
Would you ask my receptionist
to come in here, please?
Thank you very much. See you later.
Barry Barker versus The Man of Steel.
[laughing]
You'll have to work late tonight.
There's a little something I need for you to do.
[laughing]
[instrumental music]
Help!
Louder! Louder!
Help! Help!
[screaming] Help!
Much better, mother.
Oh.
What exactly do you think you're doing, sir?
Superman, you have just been served.
[laughing]
'See you in court.'
(man on TV) 'And now, back to the "Nature Channel."'
'Now bear with me here, folks'
'because it is really pretty complicated.'
'I'll do my best to lead you through the intricacies.'
No one knows why 90% of the females die
before reaching reproductive maturity
but we do know that there are
five male adult Namibian mud daubers for every female
a situation that seriously complicates the mating ritual.
[phone ringing]
'It is ironic that such mindless creatures'
'stand to inherit the Earth..'
- Uh, hello? - Hello, Lois.
Hey, Bobby, did you get what I was looking for?
Hey, I don't see any duck. I wanted Peking duck, Lois.
(Lois) 'Well, I couldn't get duck.'
'You have to order it in advance.'
Ooh. Slippery shrimp.
'I love slippery shrimp.'
- Mm. Nirvana. - What?
Um...it's what you asked for.
It's a code name. Project Nirvana.
Hey, Lois, are you sure your-your boyfriend's
Scardino's with the DEA?
He's not my boyfriend.
Alright, alright, it's a figure of speech.
According to what I'm hearing on the street
he's not DEA, he's FDA.
What?
Food and drug administration, Lois.
He's one of those guys that could say yes or no
to companies that want to market new drugs.
Well, you must have the wrong Scardino.
Alright. Alright. If you say so.
Well, so what else did you get?
'Project Nirvana's got something to do with Intergang.'
I don't know what. And I'm not sticking my neck in that noose.
And you didn't hear it from me. And that's all I know.
Hey, and you know what else? We're even.
- What, Bobby. - Great dumplings, Lois.
Bobby! Ah.
[knocking on door]
- Who is it? - 'It's me, sugar blossom.'
'Dan.'
Hello, I'm doing a survey of women
who resent having gifts sent to them.
Please answer true or false.
"Wrapping paper offends me."
Mm-hm. "I am psychologically unable to accept gifts."
Mm-hm. Uh, "Gifts are okay.
I just can't stand the guy who sent them."
It's not about the gifts, Dan. It's about trust.
(man on TV) Insects predate man by many eons.
And it's not just dangerous for you to know what I'm doing.
It's dangerous for me.
That's not what I was saying, Dan.
I'm saying you don't trust me.
[groans]
[beeping]
I, um, I think, I think you're looking for something
that doesn't exist, Lois, the perfect man.
the perfect relationship, the perfect life.
Excuse me for a minute. This won't take a second.
- Nirvana? - What?
The perfect life.
Nirvana, Utopia, Camelot, Eden.
Yeah. Those places don't exist, Lois.
The real world is what we have to deal with.
Oh, super.
Hi.
Can I talk to you?
(Dan) 'Take a number, pal.'
Whoa! Pee-yu.
You know, while the female seems to hold the power
to choose amongst the various rivals
'for her affections'
'in fact the power resides'
'with whichever male mud dauber'
proves to be the most ruthless gladiators.
Give me a break here, guys!
Come on!
I've never really been sued before, Lois
so, I'm not exactly sure how to..
How to pursue this.
Well, you need a lawyer.
I know a guy who handles stuff like this.
He's never lost a case.
(Superman) Yeah, but is he a good person?
He's a lawyer.
Bad for your Boy Scout image
to be represented by a scuzzball?
Well, surely, there must be one honest lawyer out there.
I know one. For all the good it'll do you.
His hand will heal, and since he has no job
there'll be no loss of income.
So, other than his medical bills he has no case.
Yes, and I've offered to pay for the medical expenses.
And his response?
Well, he seems to have only one response to everything.
- He complained. - Hm-mm. I know the type.
They want. They need. They deserve.
Nothing is ever enough, and nothing is ever right.
They stand alone at the center of the universe
whining for more.
I really hate them.
You must be great in front of a jury.
So, you'll take the case?
No.
(man on TV) 'And so we see that spineless dung beetles'
'tend toward thinly veiled power struggles'
'apparently having little regard for the colony as a whole.'
'Next, we go to the fascinating Andean nettle bug'
A species with three genders.
Male, female, and the sexless drone.
'The drones seem to serve a matchmaking function'
'unique in the insect kingdom'
'and a thankless job it is for them.'
(female #1) 'You've reached the office of Charles Knox'
'President of OmniCorp.'
'Please leave your name and number'
'and the purpose of your call.
'Thank you for calling OmniCorp.'
(man on TV) '...a ravenous male and predatory female..'
Oh, my God. Look at that.
'...follow it's genetic program'
and fulfill its deplorable destiny.
You guys seen Clark today?
No, and don't try and put me in the middle of anything.
Jimmy, I need you to do some research.
I need you to find out everything you can
about OmniCorp and Charles Knox.
- He's the president. - Okay.
Now, I'm gonna go investigate this guy
who's suing Superman.
Okay.
The Andean nettle bug mates only once
with tragic consequences for all concerned
'but the species survives and thrives'
and the little newly hatched nettle bug-ettes
have no inkling
of the calamitous fate that awaits them.
I don't try cases anymore.
I gave it up because I never won.
I never won because I believe
that justice should be about truth
not about who the better liar is.
But that's exactly what I need.
Someone who understands that justice is about truth.
No. You need to win.
Otherwise, you're gonna spend the rest of your life
in court answering to greedy plaintiffs
and their noxious attorneys.
Is that what you want?
- No, of course not. - Oh.
Then you need someone who sees an open wound
and automatically... reaches for the salt.
You need a real lawyer. I'm sorry.
[indistinct chattering]
- Did you bring it? - 'Yes.'
[cheering]
Is Superman getting too big for his britches?
Next on "Jerry."
Isn't this exciting, Elise?
'I'm gonna be on "National TV"'
and Barry Barker says there's no way I can lose the case.
Oh, that's wonderful, Calvin.
Calvin, if you win a lot of money
then can we tell people we're married?
Absolutely, honey, you know the only reason
I wanted to keep it a secret
was is I didn't want your friends to think
that you were marrying a bum.
You understand what you got to say
when you're on the witness stand, don't you?
Yes, Calvin.
- Hi, Lois. - Men are pigs.
- What? - Oh, here it is! It's starting.
Today, we'll be talking with Calvin Dregg
a master guitarist on the cusp
of major stardom
until he suffered a career-ending injury
at the hands of Superman.
'Yes, folks. Superman.'
Is the Man of Steel the champion of justice
or is he just... a bully in a cape?
You decide.
Oh, I'm so photogenic.
We tried to contact Superman
to hear his side of the story
but apparently, the Man of Steel feels
that he's not answerable to anyone.
Well, we'll see, won't we, Calvin?
Whether he's answerable to the law?
- You look so good, Calvin. - Shh! Shh!
According to the doctor my attorney found me
I have permanent nerve damage.
I'll never play the guitar again.
And Superman didn't even apologize!
[electricity crackling]
You idiot! You bought a defective TV!
I'm gonna have to find another one.
A little unpleasant.
- What? - Well?
- Well what? - Time to talk.
Clark, we were on a date
and you just disappeared
and never came back.
Look, Lois, I'm-I'm not e-exactly sure what to say.
The truth.
Look, I've come to the point with this, with us
that whatever the truth is, I need to hear it.
(male #3) 'My brakes are losing control!'
Lois, I'm really sorry.
- Clark, don't you do it! - I'm really sorry.
[sighs]
(female #2) 'Superman, my brakes!'
(male #4) 'It's my knee! I-I, I need a doctor!'
(female #2) 'Don't move me!'
(male #4) 'Superman, how could you'
'hurt my back like that?'
'Oh! Call a lawyer!'
'Aah! Aah! I've dislocated my hip!'
[groans]
- Uh, excuse me. - Yes?
Could I just borrow your paper
and pen for a second?
Um...if my, uh..
friend comes back
could you just give him this for me, please?
- Hm-mm. Yeah. - Thanks.
Oh.
- Thank you. - Sure.
[instrumental music]
[knocking on door]
We saw "The Jerry Show."
Boy, am I glad to see you.
Oh, sweetie.
'And that's where I am.'
Lois hates me.
I've got a long line of people
waiting to sue me and I don't have a lawyer.
I don't have time to do my job at the "Planet"
and Lois hates me.
You said that.
And it's not true.
You didn't see her face.
She wouldn't get upset if she didn't care.
[sighs]
I don't think I can do this anymore.
Do what?
I really thought I was gonna be able
to lead a normal life.
To have a job.
Friends. Somebody to love.
But it isn't possible, is it?
[instrumental music]
I can't go on being two people anymore.
Oh, honey.
I'm gonna have to choose.
Clark or Superman.
[music continues]
Mr. Church, are you bitter about your time in jail?
No, no, I'm certainly not bitter.
Ah, Superman!
Don't tell me you made bail.
Bail? Ha ha ha! No.
- They're dropping the charges. - What?
Well, all you need is a good lawyer.
Trust me. You are going to love it in there.
Anyway, I just signed to write a book about the whole experience.
It's called "Why this is the Greatest Country on Earth."
(male #5) 'Now, let me tell you about my strategy'
in a case like this, Mr. uh, uh, Superman.
Well, first of all, I don't just beat the other side.
Oh, no, no, no, no. I kill them.
Nah, you're right to shop carefully for an attorney.
I've handled dozens of cases like this
and-and none of them has ever gone to trial.
I've always settled amicably and cheaply.
That's great! How?
Well, find the plaintiff's darkest secret
and threaten to print it unless he backs off.
- Mint? - Uh, no.
(male #6) 'The only way you end up number one, you go for the throat.'
'You choke them with paperwork'
'cut off their air, and then'
you go after their friends
their families, their lovers
and when their bones are just
about ready to break..
- I don't think-- - You squeeze harder!
- Aw! - Oh, let's go.
Superman, you are the one being exploited here
and I've got an idea.
Let's sue them, and not just them
let's go after the ones selling the Superman comic books
and not cutting you in, and the T-shirts.
Let's get a piece of that action.
- Um, I-- - Is-is the problem money?
No problem.
First few are on me, pro bono
if you'll just sign over the TV movie rights to me.
Right there.
(male #7) '...and I trained myself to think that way.'
I show no mercy. I want to draw blood.
I want to kill, kill, kill!
Uh, I really have to go s-save someone or something.
Ki.. Right. I got a yoga lesson now.
We'll talk soon, huh? Ciao.
[instrumental music]
You look sad, Superman.
Uh, I'm okay.
Want a hug?
Sure.
Don't be a Mr. Gloomy Pants.
[chuckles] Okay.
Careful. I might get jealous.
Lois, what are you doing here?
I've been finding out about the bum who's suing you.
He has quite a track record in England.
Seems he loves suing people
loves getting sued so he can countersue.
Establishes a real pattern.
It would if it were admissible.
But isn't it? Uh..
I-I mean, he's clearly
vindictively litigious.
I'm sorry, Lois, uh, but thanks for trying.
Tell me what I can do to help. Please.
I'm afraid this is one battle
I'm gonna have to fight on my own.
But..
No, I had nothing else to say.
I was finished. Thanks.
Hi. Charles Knox, right? Dan Scardino, FDA.
Is that the money?
Ahh.
Let's talk dates.
We hardly know each other but, hell, if you're paying.
Go be Chuckles the Clown on your time.
On my clock, shut your mouth.
Now, we want FDA approval on the drug
we want it by the first of the year
and we want it guaranteed.
You got it.
So, this is what you didn't want me to find out about.
[elevator bell dings]
Lois, there are things going on you can't know about.
Really? Like you're posing as a corrupt FDA researcher
and the man you just met with is the president of OmniCorp
who wants you to push through a new painkiller called Nirvana
that the DEA thinks might have mind-altering effects.
- How-how did you-- - Because I'm a reporter.
A reporter, remember?
Lois, I need you to stay out of this.
(Lois) 'So, that's why you won't talk to me about your work.'
'You don't trust me.'
You think I'm going to print whatever
I find out about, is that it?
Lois, stay away from this.
Excuse me?
- Stay.. - What am I, a house pet?
What.. Argh!
[static]
All you talk about is how evasive Clark is
and how he's always disappearing mysteriously.
But you know what? At least, he trusts me.
At least, he knows that I would never use
someone close to me just to get a story, so here.
I want you to have these, these are all my notes
on your stupid case!
Good luck.
[sighs]
- Mr. Church? - Uh-huh?
- 'Charles Knox.' - Huh.
I've got bad news.
I admire your bluntness..
...and your courage.
It's about operation Nirvana.
Nirvana, huh? Mm-hm.
'The synthetic nerve block we were developing'
'disguised as aspirin?'
Makes people susceptible to suggestion?
Yeah, right, right, right.
Uh, people take it
for headaches then buy our crap
because they just believe what they're told.
W-well, what's the problem?
[woman giggles]
Are you alone, sir?
I just got out of jail, Knox.
A DEA agent and a reporter are on to us.
Pull over.
Now, Lane and this agent
are both gonna be testifying
at the Superman trial, aren't they?
I think I read about it.
Now, wouldn't it be sweetly ironic
if something happened to them
right under his nose?
Might just put the final nail
in the coffin of his career, eh?
Yes. Yes, it would.
Why don't you get right on that?
I can't find a lawyer out there
I'd like to spend five minutes with.
Let alone entrust my entire career to.
Please?
You're being pathetic.
I know. I'm sorry.
No. Don't say you're sorry.
It's pathetic. I can't say no to pathetic.
I never could.
And you being pathetic is really pathetic.
Ms. Hunter, I thought I'd seen
every kind of evil there is.
Every perversion known to man, law, and God.
And I thought I knew how to fight them all
but there's something out there that I can't fight
because I don't understand it, greed.
Ms. Hunter, I need an ally.
Someone who understands greed
but doesn't want to be a part of it
and if that's pathetic, well..
God, just once
I would like to have a client walk in here
with a case I thought I could win.
So, you'll do it?
Go to
you know, wherever it is you go
and rest up.
We'll start tomorrow at 9:00.
You bring the bagels.
[instrumental music]
♪ I can feel your body ♪
♪ When I'm lyin' in my bed ♪
♪ Too much confusion ♪
♪ Goin' round through my head ♪
♪ Makes me so angry ♪
♪ To know that the pain still burns ♪
♪ Why can't I get over? ♪
♪ When will I ever learn? ♪
♪ Old love ♪
[phone beep]
♪ Leave me alone ♪
♪ Old love ♪
♪ Go on home ♪
♪ I can see your face ♪
♪ But I know that it's not real ♪
♪ Just an illusion ♪
♪ Caused by how I used to feel ♪
♪ Makes me so angry ♪
♪ To know that the flame will always burn.. ♪
- Hey. - Hey.
- I, uh.. - Oh, sit down.
I thought about what a jerk I was.
I-I thought, given the size of my jerkiness
maybe roses, maybe jewelry, maybe a Learjet.
- We both overreacted. - Um..
I didn't bring you anything, Lois
because I don't want to dazzle you.
I just want to be with you
so, can we talk?
Sure. Come on in.
♪ Leave me alone ♪
♪ Old love ♪
♪ Leave me alone ♪
♪ Old love ♪♪
But how do you give up being who you are?
[sighs]
Pretend to move overseas.
Build myself some secret lair to live in.
I don't know.
I-I haven't sorted it all out yet
but I just know that I-I can't keep...lying to Lois.
'I can't keep hurting her.'
But what if you lose your case? What happens to Superman then?
(Lois) So, basically, what you're saying is
that all my life, I've attracted men
that are controlling
or incomplete
or downright liars
because, because..
Keep going.
Because I like being treated that way?
But if I like that kind of man
and I get that kind of man, why am I not happy?
You like chocolate, right?
How come everybody knows that?
But you know it's not good for you
and the older and wiser we get
the less tolerance we have for something
that's not good for us.
You're not a victim, Lois.
So, stop acting like one.
You know who you want to be with.
You've known all along.
The problem is
he's just as scared as you are.
So, who's gonna be the one to step up
and say the scary words?
How come you never ask the simple questions?
I would if I knew the easy answers.
(Barry) 'So, previous to this incident'
'Calvin was a happy, active musician.'
And how is he now, Miss Carr?
Calvin, hasn't been able to use his hand since.
Completely paralyzed?
(Carr) 'Yes, completely.'
[scoffs]
And what about his moods?
Oh. They're bad.
He hasn't been himself lately.
(Barry) 'Nothing further, Your Honor, thank you.'
Thank you, Miss Carr.
I smell a ham.
- 'The witness may step down.' - With cheese.
(female #3) 'The court will recess for one hour.'
It's silent.
No moving parts.
Just two globs of liquid C-12
separated by a tiny piece of plastic.
You start the acid eating through it
and in five minutes..
Whammo.
Always wanted to try this little sucker..
...and right under Superman's nose.
Just remember, it can't look like
Scardino and Lane are the only targets.
[chuckles]
Don't worry.
It won't.
Can I ask you a question?
How can you lie on the stand like that
for a man that won't even admit
that he's married to you?
How did you know--
The kind of degradation that you want to tolerate
in your personal life is your business
but you're ruining an innocent man
and I'm not gonna stand here--
Excuse me.
He doesn't love you, Elise.
'You can tell when a man loves you'
'by the way he treats you'
by the way he looks at you, by the way--
Look, Miss Lane, if you've found
the perfect man then I'm happy for you.
No, he's about as far from perfect as you get
but I'll tell you the difference between him and Calvin.
I know that he wants my happiness more than his own.
(Hunter) 'Sitting here, listening to all of this damning testimony'
'I would like to know'
'why do you want to be Superman?'
It seems to me it, it hasn't offered you much
other than exposure to danger and ridicule.
- No, that's not true. - 'Explain.'
Ah, all the things that I can do
all the powers that I have
I've asked myself a thousand times, "Why?"
'And the only thing that I can come up with is..'
...to help
as quickly and as decisively as possible
and maybe because of that
I've become a target.
And maybe there are things
that I will never have.
But when I save a life
in that instant
I know two things that most people
will never figure out.
Why I'm here
and how I can make a difference.
[indistinct chatter]
Your witness.
Fry him.
In oil, kid.
In oil.
Well!
That was a heartrending speech!
Can I get anyone a tissue?
[all laughing]
(female #3) 'Order! Order!'
- Do you smell something? - 'What?'
(Superman) 'I've smelled it before.'
- Your Honor! - I'm sorry, Your Honor.
But I think what I'm smelling is C-12.
It's an explosive
and it's burning somewhere in this room.
Oh, please!
This is the most disgraceful form
of courtroom theatrics I've ever witnessed!
Listen to him!
I suppose next you'll tell us
that we're all going to die!
Hey, hey, hey!
You back off and let him do his job.
Or you'll be suing me for assault!
I hope everyone heard that!
- I did! - Naturally.
Superman, should we evacuate the building?
No. Everyone stay calm.
I think.. Yes.
- It's right here. - 'Oh!'
[all gasp]
[screaming]
- My eyes! My eyes! Oh! - Calvin!
- Calvin, are you alright? - Aah!
Someone get a doctor!
[explosion]
[all gasp]
If I had to guess, I'd say that was meant for me.
Agent Scardino, have your men at the lab
take a look at this.
Ah!
- Are you alright? - I can't see.
The dust in my eyes!
The dust! I'm blind! I'm blind!
Is there no end of the suffering Superman causes?
Calvin, shut up!
Shh, Elise.
I have had it with you, Calvin!
We'd be dead if it wasn't for Superman
and there's nothing wrong with your eyes
except you can't see anything but yourself!
Your Honor, this witness has been excused!
And your arm will be fine.
And he'll play guitar just as lousy as he ever did.
He just wanted the money
and he got me to lie for him.
(Calvin) Elise, honey.
You don't speak for me anymore.
I want a divorce.
Not that anyone ever knew we were married.
Your Honor, in light of this new evidence..
Save it, counselor.
Case dismissed!
- Do you need a lawyer? - 'Yay!'
Alright!
Well, I guess your losing streak is over, Ms. Hunter.
Well, it helps when you save the judge's life.
Tends to make them more lenient.
Thank you for believing in me.
No. Thank you.
Elise.
You did the right thing.
Thanks.
Congratulations.
What?
Oh, I just think I understand something
that I didn't before.
Why I don't really know you.
Why no one does.
You live above us
and...when we try and bring you down here
we just end up showing the worst sides of ourselves.
[scoffs]
I tried to love you.
I realize that that was selfish.
Because you're not just here for me.
You're here for all of us.
[sighs]
I'll, um, always need you
and I'll always be your friend.
But there's someone here who needs me
and I just need to figure out
how to get him to see that.
Uh, Lois, I need..
Uh, to s-say to you
uh, thank you..
...for being such a great friend.
[instrumental music]
I can't do this. I can't. I'm sorry, Martha.
I know I told you we wouldn't stick our noses in
but, Clark, Clark, you just can't throw
your life away like this. It's wrong.
Dad, I, I don't want to do this
but I don't see any other way that's fair to Lois.
Clark, if Lois is the problem
why are you running away?
What-what are you saying, mom
that I should just tell her that I'm..
That I'm..
I'm not saying anything.
And before we stick our noses in any further
we're going out for Chinese.
[knocking on door]
Congrats.
Dan. Come on in.
I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.
And so, what are we to learn
from the mating habits of insects
reptiles, and mammals?
What does it teach us about ourselves?
[door knocking] 'That we're not the only creatures'
'on the planet capable of caring'
'of betrayal, sorrow'
'forgiveness and faith.'
Hi.
Planning a yard sale? No. Wait.
That's a form of distancing. My therapist..
I know. I have a therapist. Can you believe it?
She says that I say things like that to distance myself
so I don't actually have to deal with anything.
It's all very complicated.
It has to do with some boring childhood trauma.
- Can I come in? - Yeah.
I told Superman that
I just wanted to be friends.
And that there was someone else
and Dan and I--
Look, Lois, if you came here
to tell me that you and Dan--
We're not gonna be seeing each other anymore.
Wait a minute. This isn't v-vacation packing, is it?
This is forever packing.
[instrumental music]
Well, I was thinking of moving
but now I'm not so sure.
So, what were you gonna do, you were just gonna
slip out in the middle of the night
and not even tell me?
Send me a postcard from..
I'm distancing. I'm, I'm sorry. I..
I didn't expect this. You leaving.
Lois, you and I haven't exactly been getting along lately.
It's my fault. I should tell you--
Yeah, it's your fault.
It's your fault
and it's my fault.
You know, we let ourselves get distracted
and...we work too much
and we fight about silly things
'and all because we're trying to hide from each other'
and I'm sick of it!
The only reason to hide is because we're scared.
Of what?
Of the fact that we're partners
and best friends.
And this.
[instrumental music]
Clark...if you're gonna run away from this
tell me now.
I'm not going to run, Lois.
I'm ready to take the next step if you are.
(man on TV) 'We seek the comfort of another'
'someone to shape and share the life we choose'
'someone to help us through the never-ending attempt'
'to understand ourselves'
'and in the end'
'someone to comfort us along the way.'
For the "Nature Station"
I'm Marlin Pfinch-Lupus
reminding you to stay.
[theme music]