1 00:00:04,876 --> 00:00:06,043 (male #1) 'Mic check, one, two.' 2 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:10,251 'Mic check. One, two. Mic check.' 3 00:00:10,335 --> 00:00:12,960 Step right up! Step right up, folks! 4 00:00:13,043 --> 00:00:14,793 Step right up and have your futures 5 00:00:14,876 --> 00:00:16,710 told by Madame Velofsky. 6 00:00:16,793 --> 00:00:19,335 She knows all, she sees all 7 00:00:19,418 --> 00:00:21,043 and she tells all. 8 00:00:21,873 --> 00:00:22,710 How much of my dollar is going to charity? 9 00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:24,043 A 100%. 10 00:00:24,873 --> 00:00:27,418 One hundred pennies of your dollar will go to charity. 11 00:00:27,501 --> 00:00:30,501 See your destiny with Madame Velofsky. 12 00:00:30,585 --> 00:00:32,626 Okay, I'm sold. 13 00:00:32,710 --> 00:00:34,626 Lois! Is that you? 14 00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:35,710 Honey, I need some help. 15 00:00:35,793 --> 00:00:38,043 I cannot keep these fingernails on. 16 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:41,376 How in thunder you women put up with all of this is beyond me. 17 00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:44,043 Oh, just a minute. Just a minute, sir. 18 00:00:44,873 --> 00:00:46,168 Come on, Lois. 19 00:00:46,251 --> 00:00:47,418 You'll be here when I get back, right? 20 00:00:47,501 --> 00:00:48,710 You're not going to have some sudden urge 21 00:00:48,793 --> 00:00:50,001 to buy a video or put money 22 00:00:50,463 --> 00:00:51,463 in the parking meter or go get 23 00:00:51,168 --> 00:00:52,668 yourself new shoelaces? 24 00:00:52,751 --> 00:00:55,335 Lois, I'm about to lose a customer. 25 00:00:58,835 --> 00:01:00,751 Is this your idea of a date? 26 00:01:00,835 --> 00:01:03,043 Do you think Scardino takes her to silly street fairs 27 00:01:03,873 --> 00:01:04,335 buys her cotton candy? 28 00:01:04,418 --> 00:01:07,168 Jimmy, I don't care what Scardino does. 29 00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:09,168 - Oh. - Hi, guys. Lois around? 30 00:01:09,251 --> 00:01:11,918 Yeah, and she's, uh, with me. 31 00:01:12,001 --> 00:01:13,918 - Yeah? - Yeah. 32 00:01:14,001 --> 00:01:16,335 - Like a date? - Yeah, like a date. 33 00:01:16,418 --> 00:01:17,668 You know, where she and I are together 34 00:01:17,751 --> 00:01:19,835 for a period of time as a couple. 35 00:01:19,918 --> 00:01:23,168 Now, she is with me, and I am with her. 36 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,918 Look out! Look out! I can't hold this! 37 00:01:26,001 --> 00:01:28,918 Look out below. Somebody get him out of the way! 38 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:31,043 'I-I can't hold it!' 39 00:01:31,873 --> 00:01:34,210 Look out! Look out below! 40 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,210 Oh, my gosh! 41 00:01:41,293 --> 00:01:43,418 - Glad I was nearby. - Thanks, Superman. 42 00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:45,043 My gosh, Calvin, are you alright? 43 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:47,626 Uh, he's a little bit dazed, but he'll be fine. 44 00:01:47,710 --> 00:01:50,376 Fine? Fine? 45 00:01:50,460 --> 00:01:52,335 He broke my hand, Elise! 46 00:01:52,418 --> 00:01:54,376 Just when I get my big break in showbiz 47 00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:57,210 this baboon busts my hand! 48 00:01:57,293 --> 00:02:00,376 Take me to the hospital right now. 49 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:01,751 I mean it. 50 00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,293 Clark? 51 00:02:10,876 --> 00:02:12,960 - So, now you know. - Know what? 52 00:02:13,043 --> 00:02:15,293 Just about how much you mean to Clark Kent. 53 00:03:24,418 --> 00:03:26,043 Probably had a good reason. 54 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,960 Yeah, sure, he did. Probably had to buy some ties. 55 00:03:29,463 --> 00:03:31,460 I'm sorry, Lois. The guy just brings it out in me. 56 00:03:31,543 --> 00:03:33,668 Well, I don't understand what you see in him. 57 00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:35,168 Well, he's nice. 58 00:03:35,251 --> 00:03:37,626 And he's kind. 59 00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:39,543 And he's patient. 60 00:03:39,626 --> 00:03:41,463 Oh. I thought you were mad at him. 61 00:03:41,168 --> 00:03:42,668 I'm mad at both of you. 62 00:03:42,751 --> 00:03:44,210 (male #2) 'Hey, man, you forgot your prize.' 63 00:03:44,293 --> 00:03:46,460 Uh, me? Why me? 64 00:03:46,543 --> 00:03:49,418 Because you deliberately horned in on my date with Clark 65 00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:51,168 and you tried to make him look bad. 66 00:03:51,251 --> 00:03:52,585 I didn't have to try very hard. 67 00:03:52,668 --> 00:03:54,668 And because you think gifts solve everything 68 00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:56,543 and because you won't talk to me about your work! 69 00:03:56,626 --> 00:03:57,918 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lois. 70 00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:00,543 You know that's not personal. But I'm here. 71 00:04:00,626 --> 00:04:02,501 I'm here because I want to be with you whenever I can. 72 00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:03,918 Now, can you say that about Clark Kent? 73 00:04:04,001 --> 00:04:06,001 I mean, h-he's the one you had a date with. 74 00:04:07,293 --> 00:04:08,668 Where is he? 75 00:04:08,751 --> 00:04:13,168 I'm a musician! I'm an artist! I need both my hands! 76 00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:15,918 What would Jimi Hendrix have been with one hand? 77 00:04:16,001 --> 00:04:18,710 I'll tell you what. He'd have been nobody! 78 00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:20,463 He'd have been nothing! He'd have been-- 79 00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:22,043 Sweetie, he'd have been alive. 80 00:04:22,873 --> 00:04:23,793 You're alive, Calvin 81 00:04:23,876 --> 00:04:25,876 and you're going to be fine. 82 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,585 You don't understand anything. 83 00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,335 You're a waitress, for God's sake. 84 00:04:30,418 --> 00:04:34,335 You serve slabs of dead cow to fat businessmen. 85 00:04:34,418 --> 00:04:37,873 You wouldn't know art if it jumped up and bit your kneecap! 86 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,251 (Superman) You know, people who love each other 87 00:04:39,335 --> 00:04:41,418 are supposed to be kind to each other. 88 00:04:41,501 --> 00:04:45,418 What are you? A greeting card on steroids? 89 00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:46,960 You fly around 90 00:04:47,043 --> 00:04:49,543 butting your nose in other people's business. 91 00:04:49,626 --> 00:04:50,793 Who asked you? 92 00:04:50,876 --> 00:04:52,873 Listen, I've never been sorry 93 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:54,918 that I've saved anyone's life before, Mr. Dregg. 94 00:04:55,001 --> 00:04:58,210 - I'd hate to start now. - Why are you still here? 95 00:04:58,293 --> 00:05:00,418 What are you waiting for? Gratitude? 96 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,835 You ruined my life! 97 00:05:03,918 --> 00:05:06,873 It will heal. 98 00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:09,751 Please go. He won't calm down unless you go. 99 00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:13,543 Really, I'll be fine. And thank you. 100 00:05:21,001 --> 00:05:23,376 You ruined my life! 101 00:05:32,210 --> 00:05:34,793 It is not just some dumb guy thing, Lois. 102 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,710 I'm a federal agent. You're a reporter. 103 00:05:36,793 --> 00:05:38,793 Our professional loyalties conflict. 104 00:05:38,876 --> 00:05:40,460 Not to mention the fact that if you know too much about 105 00:05:40,543 --> 00:05:43,168 what I'm doing, you could be in danger. 106 00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:44,376 Oh, so that's what this is. 107 00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:47,793 This is you protecting the little woman? 108 00:05:47,876 --> 00:05:50,793 - Sometimes. - I don't need protecting. 109 00:05:50,876 --> 00:05:53,835 What do you need? What do you want, Lois? 110 00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:56,793 I just want one man. One whole man. 111 00:05:56,876 --> 00:05:58,501 Is that too much to ask for? 112 00:05:58,585 --> 00:05:59,793 And what do I have to choose from? 113 00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:02,293 I've got one guy who's really wonderful 114 00:06:02,376 --> 00:06:04,626 only he disappears every time I try and talk to him 115 00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:06,543 and one guy who's really exciting to be with 116 00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:08,873 only he won't talk to me about his work. 117 00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:09,585 What do people talk about if they don't talk about 118 00:06:09,668 --> 00:06:10,876 what they did all day? 119 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,543 And one guy who is out of this world.. 120 00:06:13,626 --> 00:06:15,043 ...literally. 121 00:06:15,873 --> 00:06:18,293 I thought you'd given up the Superman fantasy. 122 00:06:18,376 --> 00:06:20,335 Well, my head has 123 00:06:20,418 --> 00:06:24,001 but, you know my heart is just...conflicted. 124 00:06:24,463 --> 00:06:25,835 So, it would seem. 125 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:28,918 Could we just go over my options? 126 00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:31,626 Well, your current options are 127 00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:32,960 one wonderful guy 128 00:06:33,043 --> 00:06:35,001 who is apparently afraid of commitment 129 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:39,376 one exciting guy who, uh, wants to control the conversation 130 00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:45,168 and one superhero who is apparently unattainable. 131 00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:48,960 Or it could be that none of them is right for you. 132 00:06:49,043 --> 00:06:50,251 You know 133 00:06:50,335 --> 00:06:53,751 you just seem to have this annoying little habit 134 00:06:53,835 --> 00:06:57,543 of repeating back to me everything that I just said. 135 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,543 Sometimes, we can't hear what we're saying 136 00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:02,793 unless somebody reflects it back. 137 00:07:06,043 --> 00:07:07,751 They make me really mad! 138 00:07:07,835 --> 00:07:08,793 Hmm. 139 00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:10,001 And what do you think 140 00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,001 you might want to do about that? 141 00:07:16,835 --> 00:07:18,793 [screaming] Aah! 142 00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:25,876 Lois? 143 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,463 Jimmy, did you hear something? 144 00:07:28,168 --> 00:07:29,876 Like what? 145 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,043 It sounded a little like my name. 146 00:07:31,873 --> 00:07:34,168 You didn't say my name, did you? 147 00:07:34,251 --> 00:07:36,626 No. Um, Clark did. 148 00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:37,960 Clark who? 149 00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:41,835 - Lois. - There it is again. 150 00:07:41,918 --> 00:07:42,876 Oh. 151 00:07:45,668 --> 00:07:47,043 - Lois. - What? 152 00:07:47,873 --> 00:07:49,585 No. Don't say a word. Allow me. 153 00:07:49,668 --> 00:07:51,168 "Lois, I can explain. 154 00:07:51,251 --> 00:07:53,335 "I suddenly remembered that I had to get 155 00:07:53,418 --> 00:07:55,585 "my mother's sister's poodle's hair cut 156 00:07:55,668 --> 00:07:57,251 "and so you can see why I had to leave you 157 00:07:57,335 --> 00:07:59,251 "in the middle of our date with your thumb in your ear 158 00:07:59,335 --> 00:08:01,376 but I'm sure you'll understand." 159 00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,376 How am I doing so far? 160 00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,293 Elise! 161 00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:19,501 My hand really itches. 162 00:08:19,585 --> 00:08:21,501 And it really hurts. 163 00:08:23,501 --> 00:08:24,835 You stay. 164 00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:27,793 So, while the male lion basks majestically 165 00:08:27,876 --> 00:08:29,543 in the warm sun of the veldt 166 00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:32,793 the female hunts and cares for her young. 167 00:08:32,876 --> 00:08:34,543 Goodbye, sweetie. 168 00:08:35,543 --> 00:08:37,873 You're not going to work! 169 00:08:39,043 --> 00:08:40,293 What if I need something? 170 00:08:40,376 --> 00:08:41,293 Calvin, everything you need 171 00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:43,251 is right there on the TV tray. 172 00:08:43,335 --> 00:08:44,876 What if I need to write something down? 173 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,873 You know, like a phone message? 174 00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:47,376 Use your other hand! 175 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,960 What if I need to open a can of beer? 176 00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:52,793 Calvin, I'm sorry. Really, I am. 177 00:08:52,876 --> 00:08:54,876 But I have to go to work. 178 00:08:56,335 --> 00:09:00,460 Have you been injured? Just call Barry Barker! 179 00:09:00,543 --> 00:09:04,251 I'll go to the mat for you. I'll sue anybody for anything! 180 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:08,460 And when I say anybody, I mean anybody! 181 00:09:09,585 --> 00:09:12,210 Superman? Superman? 182 00:09:12,293 --> 00:09:15,876 Finally, I'll be famous! Finally, I'll get respect. 183 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:20,335 Finally, women will sense my power. 184 00:09:20,418 --> 00:09:22,001 Excuse me. This is about me! 185 00:09:22,463 --> 00:09:23,668 Of course, it is, my boy. I know that. 186 00:09:23,751 --> 00:09:25,460 I never lose sight of the true objective. 187 00:09:25,543 --> 00:09:28,293 I'll take your case, and it won't cost you a cent. 188 00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:30,210 I'll be working entirely on contingency. 189 00:09:30,293 --> 00:09:31,918 Forty percent of the settlement when we win. 190 00:09:32,001 --> 00:09:32,876 Forty percent? 191 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,251 Would you ask my receptionist 192 00:09:34,335 --> 00:09:35,376 to come in here, please? 193 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,751 Thank you very much. See you later. 194 00:09:37,835 --> 00:09:40,668 Barry Barker versus The Man of Steel. 195 00:09:42,418 --> 00:09:43,835 You'll have to work late tonight. 196 00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:45,835 There's a little something I need for you to do. 197 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:56,876 Help! 198 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,585 Louder! Louder! 199 00:09:58,668 --> 00:10:00,501 Help! Help! 200 00:10:00,585 --> 00:10:04,168 [screaming] Help! 201 00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:07,043 Much better, mother. 202 00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:08,543 Oh. 203 00:10:08,626 --> 00:10:11,168 What exactly do you think you're doing, sir? 204 00:10:11,251 --> 00:10:16,043 Superman, you have just been served. 205 00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:22,168 'See you in court.' 206 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,251 (man on TV) 'And now, back to the "Nature Channel."' 207 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,751 'Now bear with me here, folks' 208 00:10:28,835 --> 00:10:31,418 'because it is really pretty complicated.' 209 00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:34,376 'I'll do my best to lead you through the intricacies.' 210 00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:37,251 No one knows why 90% of the females die 211 00:10:37,335 --> 00:10:39,626 before reaching reproductive maturity 212 00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:41,293 but we do know that there are 213 00:10:41,376 --> 00:10:45,585 five male adult Namibian mud daubers for every female 214 00:10:45,668 --> 00:10:48,873 a situation that seriously complicates the mating ritual. 215 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,751 'It is ironic that such mindless creatures' 216 00:10:52,835 --> 00:10:54,001 'stand to inherit the Earth..' 217 00:10:54,463 --> 00:10:56,873 - Uh, hello? - Hello, Lois. 218 00:10:56,210 --> 00:10:58,873 Hey, Bobby, did you get what I was looking for? 219 00:10:58,210 --> 00:11:01,043 Hey, I don't see any duck. I wanted Peking duck, Lois. 220 00:11:01,873 --> 00:11:02,335 (Lois) 'Well, I couldn't get duck.' 221 00:11:02,418 --> 00:11:04,335 'You have to order it in advance.' 222 00:11:04,418 --> 00:11:06,835 Ooh. Slippery shrimp. 223 00:11:06,918 --> 00:11:08,793 'I love slippery shrimp.' 224 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,043 - Mm. Nirvana. - What? 225 00:11:11,873 --> 00:11:13,168 Um...it's what you asked for. 226 00:11:13,251 --> 00:11:15,626 It's a code name. Project Nirvana. 227 00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:18,168 Hey, Lois, are you sure your-your boyfriend's 228 00:11:18,251 --> 00:11:19,793 Scardino's with the DEA? 229 00:11:19,876 --> 00:11:21,168 He's not my boyfriend. 230 00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:23,793 Alright, alright, it's a figure of speech. 231 00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:24,960 According to what I'm hearing on the street 232 00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:26,793 he's not DEA, he's FDA. 233 00:11:26,876 --> 00:11:28,001 What? 234 00:11:28,463 --> 00:11:30,873 Food and drug administration, Lois. 235 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:32,001 He's one of those guys that could say yes or no 236 00:11:32,463 --> 00:11:34,460 to companies that want to market new drugs. 237 00:11:34,543 --> 00:11:36,335 Well, you must have the wrong Scardino. 238 00:11:36,418 --> 00:11:38,960 Alright. Alright. If you say so. 239 00:11:39,043 --> 00:11:40,501 Well, so what else did you get? 240 00:11:40,585 --> 00:11:42,960 'Project Nirvana's got something to do with Intergang.' 241 00:11:43,043 --> 00:11:45,918 I don't know what. And I'm not sticking my neck in that noose. 242 00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:48,251 And you didn't hear it from me. And that's all I know. 243 00:11:48,335 --> 00:11:49,793 Hey, and you know what else? We're even. 244 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,501 - What, Bobby. - Great dumplings, Lois. 245 00:11:52,585 --> 00:11:54,626 Bobby! Ah. 246 00:12:05,873 --> 00:12:08,168 - Who is it? - 'It's me, sugar blossom.' 247 00:12:08,251 --> 00:12:09,251 'Dan.' 248 00:12:12,626 --> 00:12:14,001 Hello, I'm doing a survey of women 249 00:12:14,463 --> 00:12:15,335 who resent having gifts sent to them. 250 00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:16,751 Please answer true or false. 251 00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:19,543 "Wrapping paper offends me." 252 00:12:19,626 --> 00:12:23,668 Mm-hm. "I am psychologically unable to accept gifts." 253 00:12:23,751 --> 00:12:25,418 Mm-hm. Uh, "Gifts are okay. 254 00:12:25,501 --> 00:12:28,335 I just can't stand the guy who sent them." 255 00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:31,710 It's not about the gifts, Dan. It's about trust. 256 00:12:36,543 --> 00:12:38,376 (man on TV) Insects predate man by many eons. 257 00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:40,376 And it's not just dangerous for you to know what I'm doing. 258 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,626 It's dangerous for me. 259 00:12:41,710 --> 00:12:43,293 That's not what I was saying, Dan. 260 00:12:43,376 --> 00:12:45,251 I'm saying you don't trust me. 261 00:12:53,376 --> 00:12:56,376 I, um, I think, I think you're looking for something 262 00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,376 that doesn't exist, Lois, the perfect man. 263 00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:01,376 the perfect relationship, the perfect life. 264 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:03,793 Excuse me for a minute. This won't take a second. 265 00:13:07,463 --> 00:13:08,710 - Nirvana? - What? 266 00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:10,463 The perfect life. 267 00:13:10,168 --> 00:13:13,710 Nirvana, Utopia, Camelot, Eden. 268 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,001 Yeah. Those places don't exist, Lois. 269 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,210 The real world is what we have to deal with. 270 00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,210 Oh, super. 271 00:13:22,293 --> 00:13:23,251 Hi. 272 00:13:25,751 --> 00:13:27,043 Can I talk to you? 273 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:28,501 (Dan) 'Take a number, pal.' 274 00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:33,251 Whoa! Pee-yu. 275 00:13:33,335 --> 00:13:35,585 You know, while the female seems to hold the power 276 00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:38,251 to choose amongst the various rivals 277 00:13:38,335 --> 00:13:39,710 'for her affections' 278 00:13:39,793 --> 00:13:41,873 'in fact the power resides' 279 00:13:41,210 --> 00:13:42,751 'with whichever male mud dauber' 280 00:13:42,835 --> 00:13:45,463 proves to be the most ruthless gladiators. 281 00:13:45,168 --> 00:13:47,043 Give me a break here, guys! 282 00:13:47,873 --> 00:13:48,668 Come on! 283 00:13:48,751 --> 00:13:50,501 I've never really been sued before, Lois 284 00:13:50,585 --> 00:13:53,293 so, I'm not exactly sure how to.. 285 00:13:53,376 --> 00:13:54,960 How to pursue this. 286 00:13:55,463 --> 00:13:56,793 Well, you need a lawyer. 287 00:13:56,876 --> 00:13:59,873 I know a guy who handles stuff like this. 288 00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:01,751 He's never lost a case. 289 00:14:01,835 --> 00:14:04,918 (Superman) Yeah, but is he a good person? 290 00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:06,626 He's a lawyer. 291 00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:07,835 Bad for your Boy Scout image 292 00:14:07,918 --> 00:14:09,918 to be represented by a scuzzball? 293 00:14:10,001 --> 00:14:12,585 Well, surely, there must be one honest lawyer out there. 294 00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:17,293 I know one. For all the good it'll do you. 295 00:14:17,376 --> 00:14:20,793 His hand will heal, and since he has no job 296 00:14:20,876 --> 00:14:23,168 there'll be no loss of income. 297 00:14:23,251 --> 00:14:26,043 So, other than his medical bills he has no case. 298 00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:28,251 Yes, and I've offered to pay for the medical expenses. 299 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,793 And his response? 300 00:14:29,876 --> 00:14:32,835 Well, he seems to have only one response to everything. 301 00:14:32,918 --> 00:14:36,876 - He complained. - Hm-mm. I know the type. 302 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,960 They want. They need. They deserve. 303 00:14:41,043 --> 00:14:44,793 Nothing is ever enough, and nothing is ever right. 304 00:14:44,876 --> 00:14:47,335 They stand alone at the center of the universe 305 00:14:47,418 --> 00:14:49,873 whining for more. 306 00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:52,293 I really hate them. 307 00:14:53,668 --> 00:14:57,873 You must be great in front of a jury. 308 00:14:57,210 --> 00:15:00,168 So, you'll take the case? 309 00:15:00,251 --> 00:15:01,835 No. 310 00:15:01,918 --> 00:15:04,835 (man on TV) 'And so we see that spineless dung beetles' 311 00:15:04,918 --> 00:15:07,335 'tend toward thinly veiled power struggles' 312 00:15:07,418 --> 00:15:10,876 'apparently having little regard for the colony as a whole.' 313 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,668 'Next, we go to the fascinating Andean nettle bug' 314 00:15:13,751 --> 00:15:16,463 A species with three genders. 315 00:15:16,168 --> 00:15:18,710 Male, female, and the sexless drone. 316 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,251 'The drones seem to serve a matchmaking function' 317 00:15:21,335 --> 00:15:23,168 'unique in the insect kingdom' 318 00:15:23,251 --> 00:15:25,376 'and a thankless job it is for them.' 319 00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:27,376 (female #1) 'You've reached the office of Charles Knox' 320 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,501 'President of OmniCorp.' 321 00:15:28,585 --> 00:15:29,876 'Please leave your name and number' 322 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,873 'and the purpose of your call. 323 00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:32,793 'Thank you for calling OmniCorp.' 324 00:15:32,876 --> 00:15:34,668 (man on TV) '...a ravenous male and predatory female..' 325 00:15:34,751 --> 00:15:36,793 Oh, my God. Look at that. 326 00:15:36,876 --> 00:15:38,543 '...follow it's genetic program' 327 00:15:38,626 --> 00:15:41,543 and fulfill its deplorable destiny. 328 00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:42,960 You guys seen Clark today? 329 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,210 No, and don't try and put me in the middle of anything. 330 00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:46,585 Jimmy, I need you to do some research. 331 00:15:46,668 --> 00:15:47,876 I need you to find out everything you can 332 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,001 about OmniCorp and Charles Knox. 333 00:15:50,463 --> 00:15:52,835 - He's the president. - Okay. 334 00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:54,251 Now, I'm gonna go investigate this guy 335 00:15:54,335 --> 00:15:55,710 who's suing Superman. 336 00:15:55,793 --> 00:15:57,835 Okay. 337 00:15:57,918 --> 00:16:00,585 The Andean nettle bug mates only once 338 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,710 with tragic consequences for all concerned 339 00:16:03,793 --> 00:16:06,751 'but the species survives and thrives' 340 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,751 and the little newly hatched nettle bug-ettes 341 00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:11,873 have no inkling 342 00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:14,335 of the calamitous fate that awaits them. 343 00:16:16,751 --> 00:16:18,960 I don't try cases anymore. 344 00:16:19,043 --> 00:16:21,835 I gave it up because I never won. 345 00:16:21,918 --> 00:16:24,543 I never won because I believe 346 00:16:24,626 --> 00:16:27,626 that justice should be about truth 347 00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:29,543 not about who the better liar is. 348 00:16:29,626 --> 00:16:31,460 But that's exactly what I need. 349 00:16:31,543 --> 00:16:34,668 Someone who understands that justice is about truth. 350 00:16:34,751 --> 00:16:37,751 No. You need to win. 351 00:16:37,835 --> 00:16:39,876 Otherwise, you're gonna spend the rest of your life 352 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,835 in court answering to greedy plaintiffs 353 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,873 and their noxious attorneys. 354 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,751 Is that what you want? 355 00:16:44,835 --> 00:16:47,626 - No, of course not. - Oh. 356 00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:50,873 Then you need someone who sees an open wound 357 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,043 and automatically... reaches for the salt. 358 00:16:53,873 --> 00:16:56,543 You need a real lawyer. I'm sorry. 359 00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:04,751 - Did you bring it? - 'Yes.' 360 00:17:17,918 --> 00:17:21,793 Is Superman getting too big for his britches? 361 00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:24,335 Next on "Jerry." 362 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,043 Isn't this exciting, Elise? 363 00:17:26,873 --> 00:17:27,668 'I'm gonna be on "National TV"' 364 00:17:27,751 --> 00:17:30,335 and Barry Barker says there's no way I can lose the case. 365 00:17:30,418 --> 00:17:33,668 Oh, that's wonderful, Calvin. 366 00:17:33,751 --> 00:17:36,626 Calvin, if you win a lot of money 367 00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:40,168 then can we tell people we're married? 368 00:17:40,251 --> 00:17:42,873 Absolutely, honey, you know the only reason 369 00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:43,835 I wanted to keep it a secret 370 00:17:43,918 --> 00:17:45,626 was is I didn't want your friends to think 371 00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:47,710 that you were marrying a bum. 372 00:17:47,793 --> 00:17:49,043 You understand what you got to say 373 00:17:49,873 --> 00:17:50,668 when you're on the witness stand, don't you? 374 00:17:50,751 --> 00:17:53,335 Yes, Calvin. 375 00:17:53,418 --> 00:17:56,501 - Hi, Lois. - Men are pigs. 376 00:17:56,585 --> 00:17:59,710 - What? - Oh, here it is! It's starting. 377 00:17:59,793 --> 00:18:02,585 Today, we'll be talking with Calvin Dregg 378 00:18:02,668 --> 00:18:05,463 a master guitarist on the cusp 379 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,876 of major stardom 380 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,793 until he suffered a career-ending injury 381 00:18:10,876 --> 00:18:12,876 at the hands of Superman. 382 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,293 'Yes, folks. Superman.' 383 00:18:16,376 --> 00:18:19,376 Is the Man of Steel the champion of justice 384 00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:23,001 or is he just... a bully in a cape? 385 00:18:23,463 --> 00:18:24,793 You decide. 386 00:18:24,876 --> 00:18:27,335 Oh, I'm so photogenic. 387 00:18:27,418 --> 00:18:29,376 We tried to contact Superman 388 00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:32,293 to hear his side of the story 389 00:18:32,376 --> 00:18:36,210 but apparently, the Man of Steel feels 390 00:18:36,293 --> 00:18:39,251 that he's not answerable to anyone. 391 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:42,001 Well, we'll see, won't we, Calvin? 392 00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:44,543 Whether he's answerable to the law? 393 00:18:44,626 --> 00:18:46,918 - You look so good, Calvin. - Shh! Shh! 394 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:50,335 According to the doctor my attorney found me 395 00:18:50,418 --> 00:18:52,835 I have permanent nerve damage. 396 00:18:52,918 --> 00:18:55,376 I'll never play the guitar again. 397 00:18:58,710 --> 00:19:02,463 And Superman didn't even apologize! 398 00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:08,585 You idiot! You bought a defective TV! 399 00:19:08,668 --> 00:19:10,251 I'm gonna have to find another one. 400 00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:17,210 A little unpleasant. 401 00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:21,376 - What? - Well? 402 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,293 - Well what? - Time to talk. 403 00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:24,418 Clark, we were on a date 404 00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:25,418 and you just disappeared 405 00:19:25,501 --> 00:19:26,793 and never came back. 406 00:19:26,876 --> 00:19:30,626 Look, Lois, I'm-I'm not e-exactly sure what to say. 407 00:19:30,710 --> 00:19:32,251 The truth. 408 00:19:32,335 --> 00:19:35,460 Look, I've come to the point with this, with us 409 00:19:35,543 --> 00:19:36,876 that whatever the truth is, I need to hear it. 410 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,043 (male #3) 'My brakes are losing control!' 411 00:19:40,873 --> 00:19:41,626 Lois, I'm really sorry. 412 00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:45,001 - Clark, don't you do it! - I'm really sorry. 413 00:19:48,918 --> 00:19:51,876 (female #2) 'Superman, my brakes!' 414 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,873 (male #4) 'It's my knee! I-I, I need a doctor!' 415 00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:56,418 (female #2) 'Don't move me!' 416 00:19:56,501 --> 00:19:57,710 (male #4) 'Superman, how could you' 417 00:19:57,793 --> 00:20:00,460 'hurt my back like that?' 418 00:20:00,543 --> 00:20:01,585 'Oh! Call a lawyer!' 419 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:05,001 'Aah! Aah! I've dislocated my hip!' 420 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,626 - Uh, excuse me. - Yes? 421 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:11,751 Could I just borrow your paper 422 00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:14,376 and pen for a second? 423 00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:16,960 Um...if my, uh.. 424 00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:19,001 friend comes back 425 00:20:19,463 --> 00:20:21,543 could you just give him this for me, please? 426 00:20:21,626 --> 00:20:24,168 - Hm-mm. Yeah. - Thanks. 427 00:20:30,543 --> 00:20:31,543 Oh. 428 00:20:33,543 --> 00:20:35,873 - Thank you. - Sure. 429 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:54,293 We saw "The Jerry Show." 430 00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:56,001 Boy, am I glad to see you. 431 00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:57,876 Oh, sweetie. 432 00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,876 'And that's where I am.' 433 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,043 Lois hates me. 434 00:21:01,873 --> 00:21:02,543 I've got a long line of people 435 00:21:02,626 --> 00:21:05,293 waiting to sue me and I don't have a lawyer. 436 00:21:05,376 --> 00:21:07,043 I don't have time to do my job at the "Planet" 437 00:21:07,873 --> 00:21:08,418 and Lois hates me. 438 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:09,710 You said that. 439 00:21:09,793 --> 00:21:11,710 And it's not true. 440 00:21:11,793 --> 00:21:13,043 You didn't see her face. 441 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,460 She wouldn't get upset if she didn't care. 442 00:21:18,835 --> 00:21:20,751 I don't think I can do this anymore. 443 00:21:20,835 --> 00:21:21,960 Do what? 444 00:21:22,043 --> 00:21:23,335 I really thought I was gonna be able 445 00:21:23,418 --> 00:21:24,960 to lead a normal life. 446 00:21:25,043 --> 00:21:26,876 To have a job. 447 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,876 Friends. Somebody to love. 448 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,460 But it isn't possible, is it? 449 00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:38,626 I can't go on being two people anymore. 450 00:21:38,710 --> 00:21:40,251 Oh, honey. 451 00:21:40,335 --> 00:21:42,460 I'm gonna have to choose. 452 00:21:42,543 --> 00:21:45,543 Clark or Superman. 453 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,460 Mr. Church, are you bitter about your time in jail? 454 00:21:56,543 --> 00:21:59,168 No, no, I'm certainly not bitter. 455 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:00,585 Ah, Superman! 456 00:22:00,668 --> 00:22:02,585 Don't tell me you made bail. 457 00:22:02,668 --> 00:22:05,873 Bail? Ha ha ha! No. 458 00:22:05,210 --> 00:22:07,168 - They're dropping the charges. - What? 459 00:22:07,251 --> 00:22:08,918 Well, all you need is a good lawyer. 460 00:22:09,001 --> 00:22:11,710 Trust me. You are going to love it in there. 461 00:22:11,793 --> 00:22:14,543 Anyway, I just signed to write a book about the whole experience. 462 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:18,793 It's called "Why this is the Greatest Country on Earth." 463 00:22:22,543 --> 00:22:24,293 (male #5) 'Now, let me tell you about my strategy' 464 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:27,418 in a case like this, Mr. uh, uh, Superman. 465 00:22:27,501 --> 00:22:30,335 Well, first of all, I don't just beat the other side. 466 00:22:30,418 --> 00:22:33,463 Oh, no, no, no, no. I kill them. 467 00:22:34,585 --> 00:22:36,918 Nah, you're right to shop carefully for an attorney. 468 00:22:37,001 --> 00:22:38,960 I've handled dozens of cases like this 469 00:22:39,043 --> 00:22:41,873 and-and none of them has ever gone to trial. 470 00:22:41,210 --> 00:22:43,793 I've always settled amicably and cheaply. 471 00:22:43,876 --> 00:22:45,335 That's great! How? 472 00:22:45,418 --> 00:22:47,873 Well, find the plaintiff's darkest secret 473 00:22:47,210 --> 00:22:49,793 and threaten to print it unless he backs off. 474 00:22:49,876 --> 00:22:53,463 - Mint? - Uh, no. 475 00:22:53,168 --> 00:22:55,335 (male #6) 'The only way you end up number one, you go for the throat.' 476 00:22:55,418 --> 00:22:56,668 'You choke them with paperwork' 477 00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:58,168 'cut off their air, and then' 478 00:22:58,251 --> 00:22:59,293 you go after their friends 479 00:22:59,376 --> 00:23:00,668 their families, their lovers 480 00:23:00,751 --> 00:23:01,876 and when their bones are just 481 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,168 about ready to break.. 482 00:23:03,251 --> 00:23:06,501 - I don't think-- - You squeeze harder! 483 00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:08,376 - Aw! - Oh, let's go. 484 00:23:10,376 --> 00:23:13,463 Superman, you are the one being exploited here 485 00:23:13,168 --> 00:23:14,793 and I've got an idea. 486 00:23:14,876 --> 00:23:17,460 Let's sue them, and not just them 487 00:23:17,543 --> 00:23:19,918 let's go after the ones selling the Superman comic books 488 00:23:20,001 --> 00:23:22,251 and not cutting you in, and the T-shirts. 489 00:23:22,335 --> 00:23:23,751 Let's get a piece of that action. 490 00:23:23,835 --> 00:23:26,668 - Um, I-- - Is-is the problem money? 491 00:23:26,751 --> 00:23:27,626 No problem. 492 00:23:27,710 --> 00:23:29,501 First few are on me, pro bono 493 00:23:29,585 --> 00:23:32,501 if you'll just sign over the TV movie rights to me. 494 00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:34,873 Right there. 495 00:23:34,210 --> 00:23:35,918 (male #7) '...and I trained myself to think that way.' 496 00:23:36,001 --> 00:23:38,251 I show no mercy. I want to draw blood. 497 00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:40,335 I want to kill, kill, kill! 498 00:23:40,418 --> 00:23:43,460 Uh, I really have to go s-save someone or something. 499 00:23:43,543 --> 00:23:45,710 Ki.. Right. I got a yoga lesson now. 500 00:23:45,793 --> 00:23:47,376 We'll talk soon, huh? Ciao. 501 00:23:52,463 --> 00:23:54,168 You look sad, Superman. 502 00:23:54,251 --> 00:23:55,710 Uh, I'm okay. 503 00:23:55,793 --> 00:23:57,168 Want a hug? 504 00:23:57,251 --> 00:23:58,293 Sure. 505 00:24:02,668 --> 00:24:04,835 Don't be a Mr. Gloomy Pants. 506 00:24:04,918 --> 00:24:06,751 [chuckles] Okay. 507 00:24:08,585 --> 00:24:10,501 Careful. I might get jealous. 508 00:24:10,585 --> 00:24:12,251 Lois, what are you doing here? 509 00:24:12,335 --> 00:24:14,835 I've been finding out about the bum who's suing you. 510 00:24:14,918 --> 00:24:17,001 He has quite a track record in England. 511 00:24:17,463 --> 00:24:18,376 Seems he loves suing people 512 00:24:18,460 --> 00:24:21,873 loves getting sued so he can countersue. 513 00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:22,918 Establishes a real pattern. 514 00:24:23,001 --> 00:24:24,418 It would if it were admissible. 515 00:24:24,501 --> 00:24:25,501 But isn't it? Uh.. 516 00:24:25,585 --> 00:24:26,626 I-I mean, he's clearly 517 00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:28,293 vindictively litigious. 518 00:24:28,376 --> 00:24:31,668 I'm sorry, Lois, uh, but thanks for trying. 519 00:24:31,751 --> 00:24:34,335 Tell me what I can do to help. Please. 520 00:24:34,418 --> 00:24:35,418 I'm afraid this is one battle 521 00:24:35,501 --> 00:24:38,210 I'm gonna have to fight on my own. 522 00:24:38,293 --> 00:24:39,376 But.. 523 00:24:40,668 --> 00:24:43,463 No, I had nothing else to say. 524 00:24:43,168 --> 00:24:45,501 I was finished. Thanks. 525 00:24:58,710 --> 00:25:01,918 Hi. Charles Knox, right? Dan Scardino, FDA. 526 00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:03,918 Is that the money? 527 00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:08,293 Ahh. 528 00:25:08,376 --> 00:25:10,210 Let's talk dates. 529 00:25:10,293 --> 00:25:13,251 We hardly know each other but, hell, if you're paying. 530 00:25:13,335 --> 00:25:15,710 Go be Chuckles the Clown on your time. 531 00:25:15,793 --> 00:25:18,668 On my clock, shut your mouth. 532 00:25:18,751 --> 00:25:21,668 Now, we want FDA approval on the drug 533 00:25:21,751 --> 00:25:23,710 we want it by the first of the year 534 00:25:23,793 --> 00:25:27,043 and we want it guaranteed. 535 00:25:27,873 --> 00:25:28,335 You got it. 536 00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:45,001 So, this is what you didn't want me to find out about. 537 00:25:51,251 --> 00:25:53,751 Lois, there are things going on you can't know about. 538 00:25:53,835 --> 00:25:56,585 Really? Like you're posing as a corrupt FDA researcher 539 00:25:56,668 --> 00:25:59,376 and the man you just met with is the president of OmniCorp 540 00:25:59,460 --> 00:26:02,251 who wants you to push through a new painkiller called Nirvana 541 00:26:02,335 --> 00:26:04,460 that the DEA thinks might have mind-altering effects. 542 00:26:04,543 --> 00:26:06,710 - How-how did you-- - Because I'm a reporter. 543 00:26:06,793 --> 00:26:08,501 A reporter, remember? 544 00:26:08,585 --> 00:26:10,918 Lois, I need you to stay out of this. 545 00:26:11,001 --> 00:26:13,293 (Lois) 'So, that's why you won't talk to me about your work.' 546 00:26:13,376 --> 00:26:16,463 'You don't trust me.' 547 00:26:16,168 --> 00:26:17,251 You think I'm going to print whatever 548 00:26:17,335 --> 00:26:18,293 I find out about, is that it? 549 00:26:18,376 --> 00:26:20,043 Lois, stay away from this. 550 00:26:20,873 --> 00:26:21,210 Excuse me? 551 00:26:21,293 --> 00:26:22,918 - Stay.. - What am I, a house pet? 552 00:26:23,001 --> 00:26:24,585 What.. Argh! 553 00:26:27,293 --> 00:26:29,251 All you talk about is how evasive Clark is 554 00:26:29,335 --> 00:26:31,873 and how he's always disappearing mysteriously. 555 00:26:31,210 --> 00:26:33,001 But you know what? At least, he trusts me. 556 00:26:33,463 --> 00:26:34,543 At least, he knows that I would never use 557 00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:36,793 someone close to me just to get a story, so here. 558 00:26:36,876 --> 00:26:38,710 I want you to have these, these are all my notes 559 00:26:38,793 --> 00:26:40,376 on your stupid case! 560 00:26:40,460 --> 00:26:41,501 Good luck. 561 00:26:47,626 --> 00:26:49,210 - Mr. Church? - Uh-huh? 562 00:26:49,293 --> 00:26:51,501 - 'Charles Knox.' - Huh. 563 00:26:51,585 --> 00:26:53,463 I've got bad news. 564 00:26:53,168 --> 00:26:55,876 I admire your bluntness.. 565 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,251 ...and your courage. 566 00:26:57,335 --> 00:26:58,960 It's about operation Nirvana. 567 00:26:59,043 --> 00:27:00,751 Nirvana, huh? Mm-hm. 568 00:27:00,835 --> 00:27:03,376 'The synthetic nerve block we were developing' 569 00:27:03,460 --> 00:27:04,876 'disguised as aspirin?' 570 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,835 Makes people susceptible to suggestion? 571 00:27:06,918 --> 00:27:08,043 Yeah, right, right, right. 572 00:27:08,873 --> 00:27:09,210 Uh, people take it 573 00:27:09,293 --> 00:27:11,001 for headaches then buy our crap 574 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:13,210 because they just believe what they're told. 575 00:27:13,293 --> 00:27:14,793 W-well, what's the problem? 576 00:27:15,918 --> 00:27:17,001 Are you alone, sir? 577 00:27:17,463 --> 00:27:19,751 I just got out of jail, Knox. 578 00:27:19,835 --> 00:27:23,626 A DEA agent and a reporter are on to us. 579 00:27:24,793 --> 00:27:25,835 Pull over. 580 00:27:30,918 --> 00:27:32,793 Now, Lane and this agent 581 00:27:32,876 --> 00:27:34,168 are both gonna be testifying 582 00:27:34,251 --> 00:27:36,001 at the Superman trial, aren't they? 583 00:27:36,463 --> 00:27:37,293 I think I read about it. 584 00:27:37,376 --> 00:27:38,960 Now, wouldn't it be sweetly ironic 585 00:27:39,043 --> 00:27:40,376 if something happened to them 586 00:27:40,460 --> 00:27:41,918 right under his nose? 587 00:27:42,001 --> 00:27:43,418 Might just put the final nail 588 00:27:43,501 --> 00:27:45,626 in the coffin of his career, eh? 589 00:27:45,710 --> 00:27:47,460 Yes. Yes, it would. 590 00:27:47,543 --> 00:27:49,835 Why don't you get right on that? 591 00:27:49,918 --> 00:27:51,210 I can't find a lawyer out there 592 00:27:51,293 --> 00:27:53,873 I'd like to spend five minutes with. 593 00:27:53,210 --> 00:27:56,335 Let alone entrust my entire career to. 594 00:27:56,418 --> 00:27:57,960 Please? 595 00:27:58,043 --> 00:27:59,335 You're being pathetic. 596 00:27:59,418 --> 00:28:00,626 I know. I'm sorry. 597 00:28:00,710 --> 00:28:02,626 No. Don't say you're sorry. 598 00:28:02,710 --> 00:28:05,460 It's pathetic. I can't say no to pathetic. 599 00:28:05,543 --> 00:28:06,793 I never could. 600 00:28:06,876 --> 00:28:10,293 And you being pathetic is really pathetic. 601 00:28:10,376 --> 00:28:12,168 Ms. Hunter, I thought I'd seen 602 00:28:12,251 --> 00:28:13,835 every kind of evil there is. 603 00:28:13,918 --> 00:28:17,460 Every perversion known to man, law, and God. 604 00:28:17,543 --> 00:28:19,043 And I thought I knew how to fight them all 605 00:28:19,873 --> 00:28:21,293 but there's something out there that I can't fight 606 00:28:21,376 --> 00:28:26,543 because I don't understand it, greed. 607 00:28:26,626 --> 00:28:28,960 Ms. Hunter, I need an ally. 608 00:28:29,043 --> 00:28:30,335 Someone who understands greed 609 00:28:30,418 --> 00:28:32,793 but doesn't want to be a part of it 610 00:28:32,876 --> 00:28:35,463 and if that's pathetic, well.. 611 00:28:35,168 --> 00:28:36,668 God, just once 612 00:28:36,751 --> 00:28:39,251 I would like to have a client walk in here 613 00:28:39,335 --> 00:28:42,876 with a case I thought I could win. 614 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,001 So, you'll do it? 615 00:28:44,918 --> 00:28:46,501 Go to 616 00:28:46,585 --> 00:28:48,210 you know, wherever it is you go 617 00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:50,335 and rest up. 618 00:28:50,418 --> 00:28:52,168 We'll start tomorrow at 9:00. 619 00:28:53,668 --> 00:28:54,835 You bring the bagels. 620 00:31:07,751 --> 00:31:09,626 - Hey. - Hey. 621 00:31:09,710 --> 00:31:10,918 - I, uh.. - Oh, sit down. 622 00:31:11,001 --> 00:31:13,335 I thought about what a jerk I was. 623 00:31:13,418 --> 00:31:15,418 I-I thought, given the size of my jerkiness 624 00:31:15,501 --> 00:31:18,460 maybe roses, maybe jewelry, maybe a Learjet. 625 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,668 - We both overreacted. - Um.. 626 00:31:20,751 --> 00:31:22,460 I didn't bring you anything, Lois 627 00:31:22,543 --> 00:31:23,543 because I don't want to dazzle you. 628 00:31:23,626 --> 00:31:25,293 I just want to be with you 629 00:31:25,376 --> 00:31:29,463 so, can we talk? 630 00:31:29,168 --> 00:31:31,293 Sure. Come on in. 631 00:32:04,793 --> 00:32:07,293 But how do you give up being who you are? 632 00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:11,043 Pretend to move overseas. 633 00:32:11,873 --> 00:32:14,376 Build myself some secret lair to live in. 634 00:32:14,460 --> 00:32:15,710 I don't know. 635 00:32:15,793 --> 00:32:17,876 I-I haven't sorted it all out yet 636 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:23,335 but I just know that I-I can't keep...lying to Lois. 637 00:32:23,418 --> 00:32:24,960 'I can't keep hurting her.' 638 00:32:25,043 --> 00:32:29,001 But what if you lose your case? What happens to Superman then? 639 00:32:33,335 --> 00:32:35,873 (Lois) So, basically, what you're saying is 640 00:32:35,210 --> 00:32:37,710 that all my life, I've attracted men 641 00:32:37,793 --> 00:32:38,918 that are controlling 642 00:32:39,001 --> 00:32:40,960 or incomplete 643 00:32:41,463 --> 00:32:43,418 or downright liars 644 00:32:43,501 --> 00:32:46,335 because, because.. 645 00:32:46,418 --> 00:32:47,418 Keep going. 646 00:32:47,501 --> 00:32:52,463 Because I like being treated that way? 647 00:32:52,168 --> 00:32:53,585 But if I like that kind of man 648 00:32:53,668 --> 00:32:56,585 and I get that kind of man, why am I not happy? 649 00:32:56,668 --> 00:32:58,293 You like chocolate, right? 650 00:32:58,376 --> 00:32:59,835 How come everybody knows that? 651 00:32:59,918 --> 00:33:02,293 But you know it's not good for you 652 00:33:02,376 --> 00:33:04,710 and the older and wiser we get 653 00:33:04,793 --> 00:33:06,460 the less tolerance we have for something 654 00:33:06,543 --> 00:33:08,463 that's not good for us. 655 00:33:11,168 --> 00:33:13,001 You're not a victim, Lois. 656 00:33:13,463 --> 00:33:15,418 So, stop acting like one. 657 00:33:15,501 --> 00:33:17,460 You know who you want to be with. 658 00:33:17,543 --> 00:33:19,335 You've known all along. 659 00:33:19,418 --> 00:33:20,668 The problem is 660 00:33:20,751 --> 00:33:24,210 he's just as scared as you are. 661 00:33:24,293 --> 00:33:26,835 So, who's gonna be the one to step up 662 00:33:26,918 --> 00:33:29,335 and say the scary words? 663 00:33:29,418 --> 00:33:33,293 How come you never ask the simple questions? 664 00:33:33,376 --> 00:33:36,168 I would if I knew the easy answers. 665 00:33:40,376 --> 00:33:42,251 (Barry) 'So, previous to this incident' 666 00:33:42,335 --> 00:33:45,001 'Calvin was a happy, active musician.' 667 00:33:45,463 --> 00:33:48,463 And how is he now, Miss Carr? 668 00:33:49,710 --> 00:33:53,251 Calvin, hasn't been able to use his hand since. 669 00:33:53,335 --> 00:33:55,335 Completely paralyzed? 670 00:33:55,418 --> 00:33:57,210 (Carr) 'Yes, completely.' 671 00:33:58,876 --> 00:34:03,210 And what about his moods? 672 00:34:03,293 --> 00:34:06,501 Oh. They're bad. 673 00:34:06,585 --> 00:34:08,626 He hasn't been himself lately. 674 00:34:11,873 --> 00:34:13,793 (Barry) 'Nothing further, Your Honor, thank you.' 675 00:34:15,293 --> 00:34:17,293 Thank you, Miss Carr. 676 00:34:17,376 --> 00:34:18,876 I smell a ham. 677 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,418 - 'The witness may step down.' - With cheese. 678 00:34:21,501 --> 00:34:24,668 (female #3) 'The court will recess for one hour.' 679 00:34:24,751 --> 00:34:26,460 It's silent. 680 00:34:26,543 --> 00:34:28,960 No moving parts. 681 00:34:29,043 --> 00:34:30,793 Just two globs of liquid C-12 682 00:34:30,876 --> 00:34:33,585 separated by a tiny piece of plastic. 683 00:34:36,001 --> 00:34:37,335 You start the acid eating through it 684 00:34:37,418 --> 00:34:39,001 and in five minutes.. 685 00:34:39,463 --> 00:34:41,543 Whammo. 686 00:34:41,626 --> 00:34:44,501 Always wanted to try this little sucker.. 687 00:34:44,585 --> 00:34:47,251 ...and right under Superman's nose. 688 00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:48,918 Just remember, it can't look like 689 00:34:49,001 --> 00:34:51,793 Scardino and Lane are the only targets. 690 00:34:54,001 --> 00:34:57,210 Don't worry. 691 00:34:57,293 --> 00:34:58,918 It won't. 692 00:35:01,876 --> 00:35:03,210 Can I ask you a question? 693 00:35:03,293 --> 00:35:04,835 How can you lie on the stand like that 694 00:35:04,918 --> 00:35:06,873 for a man that won't even admit 695 00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:07,376 that he's married to you? 696 00:35:07,460 --> 00:35:08,710 How did you know-- 697 00:35:08,793 --> 00:35:10,710 The kind of degradation that you want to tolerate 698 00:35:10,793 --> 00:35:12,293 in your personal life is your business 699 00:35:12,376 --> 00:35:13,668 but you're ruining an innocent man 700 00:35:13,751 --> 00:35:14,835 and I'm not gonna stand here-- 701 00:35:14,918 --> 00:35:16,793 Excuse me. 702 00:35:16,876 --> 00:35:19,793 He doesn't love you, Elise. 703 00:35:19,876 --> 00:35:21,873 'You can tell when a man loves you' 704 00:35:21,210 --> 00:35:22,710 'by the way he treats you' 705 00:35:22,793 --> 00:35:24,501 by the way he looks at you, by the way-- 706 00:35:24,585 --> 00:35:26,210 Look, Miss Lane, if you've found 707 00:35:26,293 --> 00:35:27,793 the perfect man then I'm happy for you. 708 00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:31,210 No, he's about as far from perfect as you get 709 00:35:31,293 --> 00:35:34,251 but I'll tell you the difference between him and Calvin. 710 00:35:34,335 --> 00:35:38,335 I know that he wants my happiness more than his own. 711 00:35:46,463 --> 00:35:52,463 (Hunter) 'Sitting here, listening to all of this damning testimony' 712 00:35:52,168 --> 00:35:54,418 'I would like to know' 713 00:35:54,501 --> 00:35:56,710 'why do you want to be Superman?' 714 00:35:56,793 --> 00:36:00,001 It seems to me it, it hasn't offered you much 715 00:36:00,463 --> 00:36:04,001 other than exposure to danger and ridicule. 716 00:36:04,463 --> 00:36:07,418 - No, that's not true. - 'Explain.' 717 00:36:07,501 --> 00:36:10,585 Ah, all the things that I can do 718 00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:12,835 all the powers that I have 719 00:36:12,918 --> 00:36:15,960 I've asked myself a thousand times, "Why?" 720 00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:19,335 'And the only thing that I can come up with is..' 721 00:36:19,418 --> 00:36:20,751 ...to help 722 00:36:20,835 --> 00:36:24,585 as quickly and as decisively as possible 723 00:36:24,668 --> 00:36:28,293 and maybe because of that 724 00:36:28,376 --> 00:36:31,293 I've become a target. 725 00:36:31,376 --> 00:36:33,918 And maybe there are things 726 00:36:34,001 --> 00:36:37,210 that I will never have. 727 00:36:37,293 --> 00:36:39,876 But when I save a life 728 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,918 in that instant 729 00:36:42,001 --> 00:36:43,876 I know two things that most people 730 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,585 will never figure out. 731 00:36:46,668 --> 00:36:48,960 Why I'm here 732 00:36:49,043 --> 00:36:51,463 and how I can make a difference. 733 00:36:56,751 --> 00:36:58,501 Your witness. 734 00:36:58,585 --> 00:37:00,418 Fry him. 735 00:37:00,501 --> 00:37:02,251 In oil, kid. 736 00:37:02,335 --> 00:37:04,751 In oil. 737 00:37:04,835 --> 00:37:06,335 Well! 738 00:37:06,418 --> 00:37:09,876 That was a heartrending speech! 739 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,626 Can I get anyone a tissue? 740 00:37:13,751 --> 00:37:14,960 (female #3) 'Order! Order!' 741 00:37:15,043 --> 00:37:17,335 - Do you smell something? - 'What?' 742 00:37:17,418 --> 00:37:18,543 (Superman) 'I've smelled it before.' 743 00:37:18,626 --> 00:37:20,251 - Your Honor! - I'm sorry, Your Honor. 744 00:37:20,335 --> 00:37:22,876 But I think what I'm smelling is C-12. 745 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,501 It's an explosive 746 00:37:24,585 --> 00:37:27,043 and it's burning somewhere in this room. 747 00:37:27,873 --> 00:37:28,460 Oh, please! 748 00:37:28,543 --> 00:37:30,210 This is the most disgraceful form 749 00:37:30,293 --> 00:37:32,668 of courtroom theatrics I've ever witnessed! 750 00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:33,751 Listen to him! 751 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,293 I suppose next you'll tell us 752 00:37:35,376 --> 00:37:37,168 that we're all going to die! 753 00:37:37,251 --> 00:37:38,460 Hey, hey, hey! 754 00:37:38,543 --> 00:37:39,835 You back off and let him do his job. 755 00:37:39,918 --> 00:37:41,501 Or you'll be suing me for assault! 756 00:37:41,585 --> 00:37:44,043 I hope everyone heard that! 757 00:37:44,873 --> 00:37:45,543 - I did! - Naturally. 758 00:37:45,626 --> 00:37:47,543 Superman, should we evacuate the building? 759 00:37:47,626 --> 00:37:50,210 No. Everyone stay calm. 760 00:37:50,293 --> 00:37:52,876 I think.. Yes. 761 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,710 - It's right here. - 'Oh!' 762 00:37:59,876 --> 00:38:02,543 - My eyes! My eyes! Oh! - Calvin! 763 00:38:02,626 --> 00:38:04,043 - Calvin, are you alright? - Aah! 764 00:38:04,873 --> 00:38:05,710 Someone get a doctor! 765 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,585 If I had to guess, I'd say that was meant for me. 766 00:38:12,668 --> 00:38:14,668 Agent Scardino, have your men at the lab 767 00:38:14,751 --> 00:38:16,293 take a look at this. 768 00:38:16,376 --> 00:38:17,793 Ah! 769 00:38:17,876 --> 00:38:20,463 - Are you alright? - I can't see. 770 00:38:20,168 --> 00:38:22,960 The dust in my eyes! 771 00:38:23,043 --> 00:38:25,876 The dust! I'm blind! I'm blind! 772 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,873 Is there no end of the suffering Superman causes? 773 00:38:29,210 --> 00:38:31,751 Calvin, shut up! 774 00:38:34,251 --> 00:38:35,710 Shh, Elise. 775 00:38:35,793 --> 00:38:37,835 I have had it with you, Calvin! 776 00:38:37,918 --> 00:38:40,418 We'd be dead if it wasn't for Superman 777 00:38:40,501 --> 00:38:42,873 and there's nothing wrong with your eyes 778 00:38:42,210 --> 00:38:44,793 except you can't see anything but yourself! 779 00:38:44,876 --> 00:38:47,876 Your Honor, this witness has been excused! 780 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,251 And your arm will be fine. 781 00:38:50,335 --> 00:38:53,876 And he'll play guitar just as lousy as he ever did. 782 00:38:56,793 --> 00:38:58,960 He just wanted the money 783 00:38:59,043 --> 00:39:01,793 and he got me to lie for him. 784 00:39:01,876 --> 00:39:02,876 (Calvin) Elise, honey. 785 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,251 You don't speak for me anymore. 786 00:39:05,335 --> 00:39:08,626 I want a divorce. 787 00:39:08,710 --> 00:39:12,873 Not that anyone ever knew we were married. 788 00:39:12,210 --> 00:39:14,335 Your Honor, in light of this new evidence.. 789 00:39:14,418 --> 00:39:16,960 Save it, counselor. 790 00:39:17,043 --> 00:39:18,918 Case dismissed! 791 00:39:19,001 --> 00:39:23,168 - Do you need a lawyer? - 'Yay!' 792 00:39:23,251 --> 00:39:24,751 Alright! 793 00:39:27,251 --> 00:39:30,585 Well, I guess your losing streak is over, Ms. Hunter. 794 00:39:30,668 --> 00:39:33,543 Well, it helps when you save the judge's life. 795 00:39:33,626 --> 00:39:36,460 Tends to make them more lenient. 796 00:39:36,543 --> 00:39:38,668 Thank you for believing in me. 797 00:39:38,751 --> 00:39:40,960 No. Thank you. 798 00:39:49,501 --> 00:39:51,668 Elise. 799 00:39:51,751 --> 00:39:54,793 You did the right thing. 800 00:39:54,876 --> 00:39:55,835 Thanks. 801 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,543 Congratulations. 802 00:40:09,251 --> 00:40:11,710 What? 803 00:40:11,793 --> 00:40:14,168 Oh, I just think I understand something 804 00:40:14,251 --> 00:40:16,376 that I didn't before. 805 00:40:16,460 --> 00:40:18,543 Why I don't really know you. 806 00:40:18,626 --> 00:40:21,376 Why no one does. 807 00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:23,668 You live above us 808 00:40:23,751 --> 00:40:27,626 and...when we try and bring you down here 809 00:40:27,710 --> 00:40:30,585 we just end up showing the worst sides of ourselves. 810 00:40:33,876 --> 00:40:36,501 I tried to love you. 811 00:40:39,335 --> 00:40:42,543 I realize that that was selfish. 812 00:40:44,873 --> 00:40:47,418 Because you're not just here for me. 813 00:40:47,501 --> 00:40:49,210 You're here for all of us. 814 00:40:53,293 --> 00:40:56,418 I'll, um, always need you 815 00:40:56,501 --> 00:41:00,210 and I'll always be your friend. 816 00:41:00,293 --> 00:41:02,918 But there's someone here who needs me 817 00:41:03,001 --> 00:41:05,793 and I just need to figure out 818 00:41:05,876 --> 00:41:07,543 how to get him to see that. 819 00:41:07,626 --> 00:41:11,251 Uh, Lois, I need.. 820 00:41:11,335 --> 00:41:14,418 Uh, to s-say to you 821 00:41:14,501 --> 00:41:17,001 uh, thank you.. 822 00:41:17,463 --> 00:41:20,460 ...for being such a great friend. 823 00:41:34,418 --> 00:41:36,876 I can't do this. I can't. I'm sorry, Martha. 824 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,668 I know I told you we wouldn't stick our noses in 825 00:41:39,751 --> 00:41:41,918 but, Clark, Clark, you just can't throw 826 00:41:42,001 --> 00:41:43,876 your life away like this. It's wrong. 827 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,626 Dad, I, I don't want to do this 828 00:41:46,710 --> 00:41:48,793 but I don't see any other way that's fair to Lois. 829 00:41:48,876 --> 00:41:51,835 Clark, if Lois is the problem 830 00:41:51,918 --> 00:41:53,876 why are you running away? 831 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:55,251 What-what are you saying, mom 832 00:41:55,335 --> 00:41:58,168 that I should just tell her that I'm.. 833 00:41:59,876 --> 00:42:01,501 That I'm.. 834 00:42:01,585 --> 00:42:03,668 I'm not saying anything. 835 00:42:03,751 --> 00:42:06,210 And before we stick our noses in any further 836 00:42:06,293 --> 00:42:07,876 we're going out for Chinese. 837 00:42:12,873 --> 00:42:14,210 Congrats. 838 00:42:14,293 --> 00:42:16,960 Dan. Come on in. 839 00:42:17,043 --> 00:42:19,463 I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. 840 00:42:24,918 --> 00:42:26,918 And so, what are we to learn 841 00:42:27,001 --> 00:42:29,210 from the mating habits of insects 842 00:42:29,293 --> 00:42:31,335 reptiles, and mammals? 843 00:42:31,418 --> 00:42:34,001 What does it teach us about ourselves? 844 00:42:34,463 --> 00:42:36,001 [door knocking] 'That we're not the only creatures' 845 00:42:36,463 --> 00:42:38,793 'on the planet capable of caring' 846 00:42:38,876 --> 00:42:41,335 'of betrayal, sorrow' 847 00:42:41,418 --> 00:42:43,918 'forgiveness and faith.' 848 00:42:45,585 --> 00:42:46,918 Hi. 849 00:42:47,001 --> 00:42:49,960 Hi. 850 00:42:50,043 --> 00:42:52,501 Planning a yard sale? No. Wait. 851 00:42:52,585 --> 00:42:54,835 That's a form of distancing. My therapist.. 852 00:42:54,918 --> 00:42:56,710 I know. I have a therapist. Can you believe it? 853 00:42:56,793 --> 00:42:59,043 She says that I say things like that to distance myself 854 00:42:59,873 --> 00:43:00,835 so I don't actually have to deal with anything. 855 00:43:00,918 --> 00:43:02,835 It's all very complicated. 856 00:43:02,918 --> 00:43:04,626 It has to do with some boring childhood trauma. 857 00:43:04,710 --> 00:43:07,210 - Can I come in? - Yeah. 858 00:43:11,293 --> 00:43:13,751 I told Superman that 859 00:43:13,835 --> 00:43:16,251 I just wanted to be friends. 860 00:43:16,335 --> 00:43:18,918 And that there was someone else 861 00:43:19,001 --> 00:43:19,918 and Dan and I-- 862 00:43:20,001 --> 00:43:21,210 Look, Lois, if you came here 863 00:43:21,293 --> 00:43:22,751 to tell me that you and Dan-- 864 00:43:22,835 --> 00:43:24,793 We're not gonna be seeing each other anymore. 865 00:43:28,585 --> 00:43:32,210 Wait a minute. This isn't v-vacation packing, is it? 866 00:43:35,668 --> 00:43:37,626 This is forever packing. 867 00:43:40,876 --> 00:43:42,751 Well, I was thinking of moving 868 00:43:42,835 --> 00:43:44,210 but now I'm not so sure. 869 00:43:44,293 --> 00:43:45,543 So, what were you gonna do, you were just gonna 870 00:43:45,626 --> 00:43:46,793 slip out in the middle of the night 871 00:43:46,876 --> 00:43:47,876 and not even tell me? 872 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:51,168 Send me a postcard from.. 873 00:43:51,251 --> 00:43:54,460 I'm distancing. I'm, I'm sorry. I.. 874 00:43:56,918 --> 00:43:59,710 I didn't expect this. You leaving. 875 00:43:59,793 --> 00:44:03,585 Lois, you and I haven't exactly been getting along lately. 876 00:44:03,668 --> 00:44:05,960 It's my fault. I should tell you-- 877 00:44:06,043 --> 00:44:08,251 Yeah, it's your fault. 878 00:44:08,335 --> 00:44:10,463 It's your fault 879 00:44:10,168 --> 00:44:12,251 and it's my fault. 880 00:44:12,335 --> 00:44:14,168 You know, we let ourselves get distracted 881 00:44:14,251 --> 00:44:17,460 and...we work too much 882 00:44:17,543 --> 00:44:21,460 and we fight about silly things 883 00:44:21,543 --> 00:44:23,751 'and all because we're trying to hide from each other' 884 00:44:23,835 --> 00:44:25,251 and I'm sick of it! 885 00:44:27,043 --> 00:44:30,710 The only reason to hide is because we're scared. 886 00:44:30,793 --> 00:44:31,835 Of what? 887 00:44:31,918 --> 00:44:34,793 Of the fact that we're partners 888 00:44:34,876 --> 00:44:36,543 and best friends. 889 00:44:38,251 --> 00:44:39,460 And this. 890 00:44:48,210 --> 00:44:51,168 Clark...if you're gonna run away from this 891 00:44:51,251 --> 00:44:52,376 tell me now. 892 00:44:52,460 --> 00:44:55,793 I'm not going to run, Lois. 893 00:44:55,876 --> 00:44:58,668 I'm ready to take the next step if you are. 894 00:45:03,751 --> 00:45:05,626 (man on TV) 'We seek the comfort of another' 895 00:45:05,710 --> 00:45:09,463 'someone to shape and share the life we choose' 896 00:45:09,168 --> 00:45:12,376 'someone to help us through the never-ending attempt' 897 00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:14,460 'to understand ourselves' 898 00:45:14,543 --> 00:45:15,710 'and in the end' 899 00:45:15,793 --> 00:45:19,501 'someone to comfort us along the way.' 900 00:45:19,585 --> 00:45:20,668 For the "Nature Station" 901 00:45:20,751 --> 00:45:22,873 I'm Marlin Pfinch-Lupus 902 00:45:22,210 --> 00:45:25,335 reminding you to stay.