[dramatic music]
[explosion]
Very nice work.
Thanks.
How long till the flames engulf this floor?
Oh, six, maybe seven minutes. How do I look?
Fabulous, of course.
Seen him yet?
That fax from Iberia should be here in a few minutes
and we can finally get out of here.
Okay, your move.
I know. It's been my move for a while.
- What do you mean? I just-- - I mean the date thing.
- Oh. - So about the date thing.
Yes.
Well, I know I've been kind of avoiding the subject lately.
- Yes. - Uh..
I finally decided that I think we should just..
(man on PA system) "Attention, all units."
- Go ahead and do it. - High-rise building fire..
I mean, I know there's a lot to lose
but it's just a date, right?
- And we're both adults, right? - Respond immediately.
Clark?
Lois, uh, please, hold that thought, okay?
Hold that thought?
Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, uh, just that I have to..
...uh, return this video.
I-It's really important. I'll be right back.
It's me, right?
I do this to them. I make them insane.
No. No, it's them.
They're already insane.
I just seem to find it..
...because I'm too smart.
Smart..
...and alone.
And talking to a piece of plastic.
[sirens wailing]
Seen our man yet?
Ah! Heading right this way.
Oh. Your good luck charm?
Yes.
Never take a chance without it.
Well, I'm sure you'll be alright up here.
As long as your plan works and I know it will.
[sighs] Oh.
Okay.
Showtime.
[laughs]
Whoo!
[theme music]
[laughing]
(Superman) Whoa, there! Hold on.
It's okay. I've got you.
Yes. Oh, yes, you do.
[tracker beeping]
- You're sure you tagged him? - On the neck.
- Are you getting a reading? - Not yet.
Here. Adjust the calibrations to a higher frequency.
It's alright. The fire's out.
Superman, thank you so much. I'm Diana Stride.
Yes, Ms. Stride. I've seen your news show.
- Really? You watch TV? - Once in a while.
- This is my cameraman, Rolf. - Pleasure.
What exactly were you two doing up here anyway?
We came to get some Vista shots for a piece
Diana's doing on urban renewal.
And then just stumbled into an exclusive.
I can't imagine how this fire got started.
- Can you, Rolf? - I simply can't.
Well, I checked the elevators. They're still working.
Once the smoke clears
you should be able to get down just fine.
Superman, if there's ever anything I can do for you, I..
Take care, Miss Stride.
Uh, nice to meet you, Rolf.
(Rolf) 'And you.'
So good, so decent.
Don't you just want to vomit?
- Nice quads though. - Hm.
Aah, it's working. We can track him now.
[beeping]
Wait. What's wrong?
He's so fast. He just flew right out of range.
Well, we'll get him in range again
and then it's only a matter of time before we have..
...the story of the century.
Let's face it.
Our show has always been uplifting
and intellectually challenging
and that's why our ratings suck.
So I've decided people want dirt
we'll give them the dirtiest.
Starting with..
...our beloved hero, Superman.
Everything the public is dying to know.
What are his weaknesses? Who are the women in his life?
I, for one, would love to meet those girls.
But most importantly, who is he when he's out of uniform?
Does he have another life? Perhaps a secret identity.
And if he does, we'll find it
and expose it on worldwide television.
Oh, it'll be sensational and it'll be..
Story of the century.
Key member of Intergang's just been arrested.
He's made a deal, he's gonna testify.
- Who is it? - We don't know.
DA's calling him Mr. X.
Now the word is Intergang's been killing these world leaders
'for decades, making it look like accidents.'
This Mr. X is gonna finger their key assassin.
Now I want the full story on this guy.
'So by the time he takes the stand'
'the "Planet" has the headlines.'
Who he is? Where he comes from?
- What he's gonna say? Got it? - Got it.
Okay, good. Go get him.
- Are those new specs, C.K? - Yeah.
- Try 'em on? - No.
Uh, I have a really strong prescription.
I wouldn't wanna hurt your eyes.
Alright. I'll see you later.
- Uh, Lois, about last night. - It's okay, Clark.
We can finish that chess game some other time.
I'm not talking about the chess game.
I'm talking about us.
You were trying to say something and I..
Had a sudden urge to return a tape.
It's perfectly understandable.
I needed to express a deep personal feeling.
You needed to save $3.
Lois, you know, I really hope someday that you learn
that sometimes what it seems like people are doing
isn't what they're really doing.
What are you, a fortune cookie?
If you had some other reason for leaving last night, say it.
I guess I don't.
Then I guess that's it. Let's get to work.
Man, you're looking at two very tense people.
Uh, Norcross and Judd.
Sorry?
Billy Norcross and Serena Judd.
Reporters before your time.
Almost as good as those two.
In fact, they were an inch away
from getting the Pulitzer when they, uh--
- Got involved. - Yep.
(Jimmy) 'And it didn't work out?'
(Perry) 'It was such a disaster'
'they should have filed for federal aid.'
'Judd ended up teaching yoga to oil riggers in Anchorage.'
Billy Norcross drained every bottle in the Tri-state area
found God and opened his own cable TV ministry.
[whistles]
(Perry) 'Yeah, all because they were partners'
'best of friends, fell in love.'
[tracker beeping]
Superman is definitely in the building.
Yes. Be still my beating heart.
(Diana) Get the camera ready.
Now Superman might be disguised as anyone.
So whoever the tracker says we tagged
just get it on tape.
[elevator dings]
Is that who I think it is?
Got him. I've got him. He's right here.
[chuckles] You didn't hear about my story, did you?
I'm afraid so.
Well, there goes my surprise.
Everyone, I'm Diana Stride
and "Top Copy" is doing a tribute to Superman.
[applause]
We know he has a lot of great friends at the "Planet"
and I'd like to interview all of you.
'I had hoped it would be a surprise for him'
but, well, there's no keeping secrets from the Man of Steel.
So let's get started, shall we?
Who wants to talk about Superman?
- I do. - Yeah, I do.
And, Superman, I can count on an interview from you soon?
Careful. Whatever that thing is in your hand there..
[crackles]
...it's shorted out.
Maybe I'd better take it before you get burned.
Or maybe he works there as somebody else.
(Rolf) 'Ah!'
Your secret identity theory, eh?
- Must be the bulb, no? - I'll get that.
You just go on home.
But, uh, we..
Uh..
[indistinct]
[monitor beeps]
Hello, Diana. You're looking very well.
Cut the flattery. I'm retired.
Hiatus, Diana.
You don't retire when you work for Intergang.
Whatever it is, I'm not interested.
Well, I think you will be.
Nice hood. Couture?
'He's one of ours, turning state's.'
The DA's calling him Mr. X
'but you know him as Michael Disanto'
'your former partner.'
In a week, he's going to tell the grand jury
everything he knows.
How we plucked you out of nowhere
'made you a world-famous journalist'
so you could meet the rich, the powerful
and kill them for us.
Alright.
- Where is he? - That's my girl.
Lois, I'm just not very comfortable with this.
Why? Mayson works for the DA's office
and she's a friend of yours.
She might be able to tell us something about Mr. X.
- I don't see the problem. - No, you don't.
Just because she's in love with you.
You think that bothers me?
Help me make it through the night.
(Mayson) Sorry, guys. I can't give on this one.
(Lois) Look, we're not gonna be irresponsible
with the information.
We'd hold it till the day he testify.
This isn't about trust.
I have orders and these orders come from way up.
We've heard the rumors about the assassin
that Mr. X is supposed to identify.
Isn't there something that you can give us?
Well, alright.
I shouldn't even be saying this.
Apparently, the assassin is famous.
'Very famous'
And if I say another word
'I'll be looking for a new career.'
I appreciate this very much, Mayson.
'Thank you.'
- Lois. - Yes.
- We should get going. - We should.
Ah, thanks, Mayson.
Bye.
- I-I'll call you. - I'd like to talk.
Um, we kind of left things up in the air between us.
I know. I-I apologize.
I will call.
I can't believe you stole her beeper.
See, that's where you're wrong.
I hesitated because I thought it was stealing.
Then I realized I could get the information I wanted
and mail it back to her anonymously.
Morally remaining on very solid ground.
Gotta admit, C.K., it's pretty smart to get the phone numbers
and trace them back to their addresses.
Yeah, brilliant.
We now know where Mayson's maid lives
her secretary, two lawyers, a judge--
And Mr. X.
I think we just found the government safe house.
I don't see any Mr. X.
Uh, I bet I wouldn't if I was looking through those.
We've got to get closer.
Lois, it's not like he's being guarded
by the three stooges, you know.
(male #1) 'No, he's not.'
'Put your hands down, kid.'
[grunts]
[beeping]
(male #1) 'Alright, keep moving.'
I'm too young and boyish to go to jail.
(male #1) 'Quiet.'
- Get down! Get down! - Aah!
[explosion]
[indistinct shouting]
[gunshots]
I'll take him to the hospital. Meet me there.
- Clark! - Where's C.K?
[indistinct chatter]
One slug is still dangerously close to his heart.
I can't operate until he stabilizes.
This witness needs to be protected. Can he be moved?
Only if you wanna do the assassin's job for him.
- Superman! - Superman!
[reporters clamoring]
I'd like to make a statement.
An attempt was made on the life of a state's witness.
I'd like to say to anyone out there thinking
of making a second attempt, don't.
I am now personally protecting this witness
and if anything should happen to him
I will hunt his killers relentlessly.
'Thank you.'
(Diana) 'Did you watch the news?'
It's not like you to bungle anything, Diana.
Now you've turned Superman into a bodyguard.
My, my.
There's a rumor about a substance
that can kill him.
A chunk of meteor that Lex Luthor got ahold of.
- Can you get some? - Are you telling me--
I'll kill Superman for free.
Just get me the rock
and then get me in touch with the science division.
- And you found this? - Right after you disappeared.
- What happened to you, anyway? - I thought I saw the assassin.
You went after a professional killer by yourself? Clark!
Come on, Lois. It wasn't that danger..
Well, no.
I guess you're right. I guess I could have been killed.
And then we never would have settled things.
Maybe this is fate giving us a second chance.
Nice. You rehearse that one?
Improvised on the spot.
A for effort. F for fat chance.
Anyway, I lost him.
Well, I've got a real feeling it's not a him.
It's a her.
I think it's Diana Stride.
All because of this.
You know, you get this tone in your voice
when you're humoring me.
You think I don't hear it, but I do.
[chuckles ] Sorry.
- So what have you got? - She was in the army.
Then she pops up in a TV station in Omaha
starts a very fast rise to legendary anchorwoman.
And?
What do these men have in common?
(Clark) 'They're famous.'
- Powerful. - Dead.
And they were all interviewed by Diana Stride.
Lois, what am I doing right now?
- Ah. - Grasping.
- Aah. - Stretching?
Come, come on.
- Umm. - Reaching.
Aah, and I am not the only one.
Can I talk to you guys?
Look, I already told the police everything.
Well, now you're going to tell me.
How did you find him?
I don't think I like your tone.
And I don't like my witness on life support.
You can't force a reporter to reveal sources.
True, but I tell you what I can do.
I can convene a grand jury, put you on the stand
and if you refuse to answer, toss you in jail till you do.
- Both of you. - Mayson, hold on.
We're all on the same side here.
We all wanna bring down Intergang.
Then tell me how you found my witness
and anything you know about the assassin.
I'll give you 24 hours.
If I don't get an answer by then, I'm gonna hit you both
so hard, you'll think it was rainin' hammers.
Well, she's watched a little too much "Perry Mason."
Maybe we haven't watched enough.
What does that mean?
It means maybe we stepped over the line.
We didn't. I did. Is that what you mean?
Lois, whatever one of us does
the other person takes responsibility for.
That's what being partners is all about.
Okay.
Well, we have a little time.
If we can ID who's trying to kill her witness
maybe that'll get her off our backs.
Ha! Speak of the devil.
[both laughing]
I got an idea.
Oh, you've simply got to tell that story on film.
Oh, I'd like to, Diana, but I'm a little on the shy side.
Yeah. Compared to what, sir.
Now I won't take no for an answer.
And you, you're just delicious.
- J'adore. - Oh, thank you. Oh.
Oh, Diana, now this is the fella I was telling you about.
'Clark Kent. Now he's real tight with Superman.'
So, uh, well, I'll leave you in good hands.
I can't believe I haven't met you before.
But then I've read everything you've ever written.
Really? I didn't know that TV people had time
to read newspapers.
Lois Lane. This is a real honor.
I understand there's no one in the world
closer to Superman.
I was hoping that we could spend some time together.
That's a really nice necklace, Lois.
Oh, thanks, Clark.
It's not mine. I-I found it.
- It's not yours, is it? - Why, no.
You sure?
I, it's just that I, I thought I saw you wearing
one like it the other day.
And I thought how appropriate, you know
Diana, the huntress from Greek mythology
who stalks her prey by moonlight.
- It's really not yours? - Really not.
Oh. Oh, well, my mistake.
Gosh, I just hope that, uh
whoever lost this little charm finds it
because, you know, they're probably in for some bad luck.
(Clark) 'Whoa. Wait. Wait.'
- Uh, here, dad. - Oh.
Why don't you let me give you a hand with that?
Oh, thanks.
- Where do you guys want it? - Oh, right over here, honey.
And be careful. That stuff is very sensitive.
No problem, mom.
You know, Lois, she's onto something.
Diana Stride is not who she seems.
Oh, too bad.
You know, your father always had kind of a little crush on her.
'Oh, no, that's not true, Martha.'
I just always thought she was very--
Sizzling?
Vivacious?
Trustworthy.
Well, I'm not so sure about that, dad.
She's trying to find out that Superman is me
and tell the world
and I'm not so sure I can stop her.
Yes, but if you and Lois are able to prove your theory
that she's some kind of an assassin--
Well, it's all just pieces right now, mom.
We don't even have enough to tell Perry.
Diana is closing in on me.
It's funny. I've never felt like this before.
Felt like what?
Like I'm being stalked.
[whirring]
- 'Mom, is that a laser?' - 'Uh-huh.'
I thought you said this was an art project.
It is.
My professor says this is the sculpture
of the future light.
What our lab people know about this Kryptonite
is still very sketchy, but they have ground it down
to a paste as you requested.
Good. And the device I sent you?
Should be modified by tomorrow.
(Diana on answering machine) 'Clark, this is Diana Stride.'
'Could you contact Superman for me?'
'I'd really like to spend some time with him'
'tonight one-on-one.'
You got it.
Hello.
Diana will be here in just a moment.
'In the meantime, can I get you some wine?'
It's, uh, not a bad merlot.
No, thank you, Rolf.
You know, as long as I have you over here..
...there is something, uh
I have always wanted to ask you.
When I wear my very tightest ski pants..
...I always get a bit, uh..
...chafed.
Uh, do you find this, uh, happens to you?
No, but it helps to be invulnerable.
[instrumental music]
Rolf, I'd like to be alone with Superman.
[speaking in French]
- Miss Stride. - Diana.
I know your story isn't a tribute.
It's an attempt to expose me.
Expose you?
Do you have something to hide?
We all have something to hide, Miss Stride.
Some of us for the good of others
and some of us for their own gain.
I'm here to tell you, Miss Stride
drop the story.
Superman, I..
I can't.
You see, if I drop this story
I'm going to lose my show and that's all I have.
When you want so much from life
and then you get even more than you ever expected
the thought of having it all taken away..
...can make you do things
things that you never even thought you were capable of.
[sobs]
Don't, don't, don't cry.
That's why I did this.
Or maybe it's just because I'm no damn good.
There's good in everyone.
Oh.
[grunts]
Not everyone.
[groans]
Oh, Superman, not on the first date.
You don't want me as an enemy, Miss Stride.
But I've got you.
Yes!
♪ I've got you under your skin ♪♪
[laughs]
(Diana) 'Well, the Kryptonite is in his bloodstream.'
He should die a slow and painful death
within a day or so.
Diana, you are the very best.
Thank the lab boys for modifying this so fast.
You better hurry up and get that story on Superman.
Doesn't sound like he's gonna be around much longer.
I'll get my story and Disanto.
So we have a new way to track Mr. Steely Pants?
Mm-hmm. I made him swallow a radioactive substance.
I'll just bet you did.
And this time, when we get close
he may be a little too distracted to notice us.
- What's your take on them? - Seem to be getting along.
(Perry) 'Very professional? Doing their job?'
- No muss, no fuss? - Exactly.
Norcross and Judd all over again.
(Jimmy) So, you really think it's that bad?
Jimmy, they're a truckload of nitro.
They're speeding down a mountain
the brakes are out
and they don't even know it.
So we've hit a big wall on the Diana front.
What next?
Hey, you look a little pale. Are you feeling okay?
I'm fine. Just have a headache.
Mayson Drake just called.
She says you have exactly one hour
'to answer her question or else.'
- So how do we play this? - Your call. You're my partner.
Whatever you decide, I'll back you up.
[beeping]
Uh! I've to tie my shoe.
[beeping]
Lois, do you have any aspirin?
Oh, yeah, I think I have some.
(Perry) 'Damn it, Olsen. I told you to keep that window closed!'
[sighs] He's left the building.
(Perry) 'Oh, yoo-hoo! Diana!'
There you are.
I'm all set for our little, uh, tete-a-tete.
Oh, of course, Perry.
Let's do it in your office.
[speaking French]
[sighs]
[phone rings]
- Hello. - Mom.
Clark, what's wrong? You sound awful.
I need you and dad to come to Metropolis right away.
- What's the matter? - He sounds sick.
- Clark, are you sick? - He doesn't get sick.
Unless, it's..
Clark, is it..
Kryptonite.
Oh, no.
I recognized the symptoms right away.
I suddenly got so weak I couldn't even fly home.
Well, can't you get away from it?
No. It's inside me.
But I have this other problem.
I need you guys to get here as soon as you can
a-and, mom, bring that laser sculpture.
The hologram? What for?
[elevator dings]
(Lois) 'Hi.'
- Uh, thanks for coming. - No problem.
I was just down the street deposing a witness.
I, um, did something that I, uh, shouldn't have.
- You stole it. - Yeah.
Uh, it's not the first time I've bent the law for a story
but I did feel bad
because after I finished rationalizing it
I, I realized that a big part of why I did it
is because I don't like you.
Really?
Oh, God. That is such a relief. I don't like you either.
- Really? - Really.
Well, that makes me feel much better.
I-I couldn't stand the idea that I was just jealous
because of Clark, it's so--
Petty. I know.
I mean, it feels so much better--
To just dislike you because you're you.
[beeping]
(Clark) 'We need to have sound too.'
Just me talking, mom.
Yeah. Can you do that with the hologram?
Great. I'll be here in the apartment.
No, Clark, you get yourself to a hospital.
Dad, what are they gonna do? They can't operate on me.
I'd break the scalpels.
Well, there's gotta be something they can do.
I guess you're right, but I'd better go as Superman.
'No, Superman doesn't have insurance'
'but I'm sure we'll work something out.'
I love you too.
Oh, get down.
'Get down!'
[camera powers down]
Oh, my God.
Clark Kent is Superman.
And we've got it on tape.
- Oops. - Oops?
Did you say oops?
My, my battery pack is dead. The camera won't work.
I-I must go to get a fresh battery pack.
You go get it.
[groans]
[glass shatters]
Superman, what are you doing here?
- Are you alright? - I gotta get to a hospital.
Yeah.
(woman on phone) '911 emergency.'
Hurry, please. He's dying.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Idiot.
I deserved that.
You can do it again if you'd like.
We've got plenty of time for that later.
[knocks]
[laughs]
Well, well.
I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Demille.
I want this spliced into the interviews
with Superman's friends and get on the phone with the network.
We broadcast tonight.
- And I've got to get going. - Where?
Doctor's appointment.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
I don't know what to do.
This Kryptonite you've told me about has invaded your system
and it's spreading almost like a cancer.
If it were cancer?
Well, then we'd try and kill it with chemo or--
- Superman, did you hear that? - I heard.
So we could try and burn it out or heat it or radiation.
Well, we have facilities here.
No. We'd need someplace bigger.
[alarm blaring]
[groans]
[ECG monitor beeping]
[grunts]
- You are? - 'Travis.'
- 'It's right here, ma'am.' - You're early, Officer Travis.
Oh. Just wanted some coffee.
Thanks.
Wait, you're telling me that Diana Stride
is a professional assassin?
I know it's hard to believe.
[men coughing]
Wait. Mayson, no!
It's gas!
[both coughing]
Hello, Michael.
Goodbye, Michael.
[grunts]
You're in way over your head, Lois.
I only have one thing to say to you, honey.
[grunts]
Keep your lips off Superman!
Hold it.
Wrong reporter.
[screams]
I'm so glad you're alright.
- She didn't hurt you? - No. No.
I-I might be a little achy in the morning, but..
Ah, Diana made a clean getaway. We can't find her.
Maybe you could, um
I don't know, help with the search.
I'd be glad to, Miss Drake.
And, Lois, I just have to say thanks.
I owe you an awful lot.
Keep this up and we may have to like each other.
Oh, no. Anything but that.
(man on TV) 'Tonight on "Top Copy"'
'Diana Stride with an exclusive on the secrets of Superman.'
Does the Man of Steel have a secret life?
Find out tonight only on "Top Copy."
Boy, people will do anything for ratings.
Excuse me.
[music on TV]
And here in this apartment, we find the final piece
to the puzzle, which tells us that Superman
is, in fact, Clark Kent.
- I don't believe it. - Me neither.
I mean, they always kind of looked alike though.
Jimmy, some people say I look like Richard Nixon
but I ain't ever been to the White House.
Lois, you buying this?
I, I..
[elevator dings]
[indistinct chatter]
Hi.
[indistinct chatter]
Clark, what is going on here?
I decided the easiest way to settle all this
would be a press conference.
[reporters clamoring]
My name is Clark Kent.
I'm sure you all saw the story on television tonight
and I'd just like to say..
[crowd gasping]
Hey, Clark, I don't mean to interrupt
but it would probably be a lot easier
if I explained everything.
Diana Stride is now a wanted fugitive.
Jonathan, there's a blip in the hologram.
Her contention that I am Clark Kent is an attempt
to deflect the fact that she has long been using
'her celebrity as a cover'
'so that she may operate freely as an assassin for Intergang.'
Oh, boy, what am I doing playing with lasers?
- I'm a farmer. - You're helping our son.
Now get your telemetry straight.
Clark Kent is a friend of mine.
My uniforms were hanging in his closet
because he was kind enough to clean them for me.
I don't have a washing machine.
'I don't have a place to hang my spare capes.'
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got someone to pick up.
Well, any questions?
I don't understand why we've to leave the country.
- Diana, what's going on? - Stop whining.
The police will be glad to answer that.
Oh. Am I in trouble?
Are you going to, to punish me?
No, Rolf.
Superman.
Can't we work something out here?
I don't think so.
Then what about a goodbye kiss?
Diana, you ought to come with a surgeon general's warning.
Who says I don't, Clark?
Oh, I'm afraid I have some bad news on that front too.
What?
[speaking in French]
I don't care what that says. We know what we saw.
I tried to tell you.
You don't want me for an enemy, Diana.
Come on.
- Working late? - Big news night.
- Where you been? - Superman caught Diana.
I got us the exclusive.
You're some partner.
Is that all I am, Lois?
I don't know.
I know how I feel
and I know what I think
and those are two very different things.
Can I make a suggestion?
Please.
Let's finish what we started.
The chess game.
Then we can take it from there.
- You two going back to work? - No, we're going back to play.
Uh-huh.
- I like your new glasses. - Oh, thanks.
Did you ever think of getting contacts?
No.
Jimmy.
I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Well, must be that chili dog you ate, chief
because I think they're kind of cute.
Aah, youth.
[theme music]