Lois, are you going somewhere?
- Yes, I am. - Where?
I don't mean this to sound rude, Clark
but it's none of your business.
You've got a scoop, don't you?
It's the revolution in South America, isn't it?
No-no. The riots in Miami.
- Five bucks. - You're on.
Lois, you're gonna have to clear this
with the budget office.
I'm not going on a story.
I do have a personal life!
Alright, if you must know
I am on my way to check into the Lexor Hotel
for a night of pure relaxation.
It's a prison break upstate, ain't it?
Do you wanna see my reservation?
- Yes. - Uh.
"Honeymoon suite?"
It was the only thing available.
Lois Lane in the honeymoon suite?
Stranger things have happened.
Name one.
Thank you all very much. I'm leaving now.
Now, Lois, you've got to admit
the idea of you spending a night just relaxing
is a little, well, far-fetched.
O ye, of little faith.
You smell so good.
I washed my hair for you.
'I knew we'd be together, so I..'
- 'I love you, Johnny.' - 'I love you.'
(Johnny on TV) 'I love you so much I ache inside.'
- Yes? - Working hard?
- No, Clark. I'm relaxing. - Yeah, right.
- How's the view? - It's so wonderful. It's..
It's..
I don't believe it.
- Ow! - 'You don't believe what?'
- 'Lois?' - Where are those? Ahh!
Yes. Yes! Yes, it's, uh..
It's, uh.. Yes, it's-it's wonderful.
- It's just wonderful. - Lois, are you okay?
Congressman Harrington? Oh, yeah. Yes, I'm..
How's the bed? Oh..
Uh, the bed?
The bed is, uh, the bed is just great, Clark.
It's, uh, it's..
Clark, I'm in the Jacuzzi. Can you hold on a second?
(Clark over phone) 'Lois? Lois?'
- 'Lois. Hello! Lois!' - Yes, Clark, yes.
Lo-Lois, is the TV on? 'Cause--
Oh, what? No.
I mean, yes, the TV. Yes, the TV, it's on.
Y-you get a good night's sleep.
Huh, I will.
[chuckling] Lois..
I didn't think you had it in you.
You didn't? What?
Well, the ability to take an entire weekend off.
I.. Congratulations.
Clark, I gotta go now. I gotta get back to relaxing.
[screams] Ow! Ugh!
- Isn't that-- - Congressman Ian Harrington.
Chairman of the house defense committee.
(Cat) 'And the most notoriously sexy man in Washington.'
Unsubstantiated rumors.
Mm, the best kind.
Jimmy...who's that joker?
(Jimmy) Uh, we don't know, but, uh, I'm running
the identifier program looking for a match.
We do know the offices are leased to a company
called Apocalypse Consulting.
Chief, I was just thinking--
Let me just take a wild guess here.
'You want the Daily Planet to put you up'
in the honeymoon suite until we can figure out
what's happening with Apocalypse Consulting.
- Thanks, chief. - Now, wait, wait, wait.
Just hold on, Lois.
We're talking a major surveillance operation here.
This is major, a Washington VIP
selling highly classified information.
Maybe I should contact my source.
The source to find out if there's anything
to this before we get in...too deep.
You don't mean--
Don't even think about saying that name.
- Who? - Hey, hey!
'Okay, you guys.'
You have three nights.
- Guys? - You and Clark.
- Did you say Clark? - I heard him say Clark.
- He definitely said Clark. - Definitely.
I'm not staying in the honeymoon suite with Clark!
- How would that look? - The honeymoon suite?
- It's a natural. - But--
Lois, think this through.
How are you gonna maintain round-the-clock surveillance
all by yourself?
- You're gonna need help. - But I--
Besides, what hotel's gonna sit still while
we're using it as a base for spy operations?
You need a cover.
What better cover than honeymooners
in the honeymoon suite?
It would be business, Lois. Strictly business.
Now, that's the deal. Take it or leave it.
- I'll take it. - Good.
Just don't try anything funny.
Action. That's it. Hoist her up, big fella.
Smile!
Wait, wait. Hold on, hold on.
- She can't be that heavy. - Ugh, just you give me th..
[chuckles] She's just a little shy.
She'll get over it.
That man gets no tip.
[clears throat] Can I, uh, kiss the bride?
The next person that makes a newlywed joke
gets fitted for a body cast.
(Cat) 'Oh! Count me in!'
What are you doing here? We're supposed to be undercover.
I was at a reception downstairs so I thought
I'd just pop up and say hello.
- What about you? - Surveillance equipment.
Why do I get the feeling you've been here before?
This old place?
It's kind of a...home away from home.
(male #1) 'Hanging garments in the closet'
toiletries in the bathroom.
You're in the drawers on the left.
You unpacked my stuff?
This is a full-service hotel.
Mm-hmm.
Extra towels, uh, yeah.
(Clark) 'What if no one shows?'
Then the honeymoon's over. Don't worry. They will.
They made it real clear on that calendar.
Old maid?
We're here to work, not play games.
(male #2 on radio) 'Oh, I did not say I did not love you, I-I said'
'I didn't wanna love you 'cause you did not wanna love me.'
(female #1 over radio) 'I never said I didn't wanna love you.'
'I said I couldn't love you because you don't wanna'
'love anyone but yourself.'
- 'Oh, that..' - Relationships.
People are entitled to private lives
and thoughts, Lois. Who are we to judge?
Are you in the right business, Clark?
Our job is to rip away the veil of secrecy
and expose the naked truth.
Oh, well, when you put it like that..
Okay, I'm going to bed.
Set the recorder for a voice activation
and then wake me when our friends across the way show up.
Wait a minute. Aren't you forgetting something?
What?
Well, this is our first night here..
...alone.
- Together. - So?
So..
...we flip for the bed.
How about I get the bed, I lend you a pillow?
- How about we alternate nights? - How about we don't?
Well, it's a big bed. How about we share?
- How about we alternate nights? - Deal.
Goodnight, Lois.
'Lois. Goodnight.'
'Goodnight, Lois.'
Goodnight, Clark!
Oh.
They're back. They're back.
- No. - Turn that up.
(Ian over radio) 'That is the last of the system specs.'
'I'll have all the information on the testing for you tomorrow'
dates, procedures, the whole thing.
Good. What about a new vote?
[chuckles] I can't initiate a revote
until after all the tests have been analyzed
and the plan rejected.
- Hopefully-- - Hopefully isn't good enough.
That's why I bought insurance...you.
You don't own me, Roarke.
I own you lock, stock
and re-election fund
Mr. Chairman.
[chuckles] Never forget that.
No, I just meant
are you sure you can pull this off?
I guarantee it.
Because if you don't, what happens to me?
Pray you never find out.
Clark, what would you say if I said that I have no idea
what they're talking about?
But whatever it is I think it's even bigger
than I originally thought.
I'd say you're absolutely right.
What?
Nothing.
What?
[laughing] Nothing. It's just..
Well, you look...pretty decent
first thing in the morning.
So, do you.
- Uh, I ordered coffee. - Good. That's a good thing.
There it is.
Uh..
Early to bed, early to rise.
Whoa! Rough night?
- Oh! Oh! - Yeah, uh..
Thanks.
I-I'm a...heavy sleeper.
Admiral, my staff at Luthor Technologies
will be available to you both during and after the test.
Yeah.. Of course!
We will delay our joined statement to the media
concerning Shock Wave until after the results are in.
I expect nothing short of total success.
Admiral, I look forward to that.
Who is Roarke?
What system are they talking about
and what test?
Don't forget the vote.
We should get our hands on every available record of every vote
taken by Harrington's committee over the past--
(Jimmy) Six months? Already on it.
(Cat) It's gotta be something big.
Congressmen do not sell out for less than big.
I ran Roarke, name and picture
through every program the Daily Planet has access to.
The man's a ghost.
What about Apocalypse Consulting?
No bank accounts or transactions I can trace.
I mean, Apocalypse moved in a couple of months ago
paid off a five-year lease on the offices in advance.
- Hmm. Business must be good. - What business?
(Perry) Thaddeus Roarke, international arms dealer
electronic weapons systems analyst
entrepreneur, general bad guy.
Last known base of operations, Beirut.
- How did you find that? - Where did you get that?
Sources, boys and girls. Sources.
'The lifeblood of journalism.'
- ""People" magazine?" - Here. Give me that.
Arms dealer, house defense committee.
- Makes sense. - Now, team, we gotta talk.
'A scoop is a scoop, but if we're into something'
that's impacting on national security
well, we're gonna just have to bring in the federales.
- Now. - No, not now.
But when the time is right.
Right now, we've got more
questions than answers
so, let's hear some theories.
I got one, the defense department is about to test
some new weapon system and Roarke wants to know about it.
So, he bribes Harrington to slip him the information.
But Harrington's afraid of Roarke.
Or maybe he's afraid of what Roarke might do
once he gets the information.
Well, it seems to me now it's time to back up
our surveillance with a little legwork.
Now, Cat, you think you can find
'Congressman Harrington and stick with him?'
Like superglue.
Alright, Jimmy. Next time Roarke shows--
Got him.
- You two need any help? - I'm coping.
We're coping.
Whatever.
(Perry) 'Okay. You got two days left.'
Make the most of 'em.
- Gin. - No way.
Read 'em and weep.
I can't make the rent.
I'll take everything you got
and go directly to the poorhouse.
- Time's up. - No, it's not.
I know the answer to this.
No, just give it to me again. Give it to me.
- What is that? - It's my word.
There's no such word as chumpy.
Sure there is, someone's a chump
therefore he's chumpy.
- Try again. - Are you challenging me?
You bet your sweet little chumpy I am.
Okay.
Told you.
You call that a dictionary?
Lois, you are the most competitive person
I have ever met.
What is it about you that makes you need
to win all the time?
I do not need to win all the time.
What was the name of Jerry Lewis'
suave alter-ego in the "Nutty Professor?"
- Buddy Love. - Yes! I knew that!
- Oh, no, you didn't. - No! I knew that! I knew that!
See, Lois. You're right. You don't need to win all the time.
It's a game, Clark, are you telling me
that when you play a game you don't play to win?
- I play to play. - Oh, boy. Here it comes.
Alright, winning and losing is the not sole object, Lois.
Well, this is perfect. I win. You lose. We're both happy.
Are you insane? I.. Clark, this isn't funny!
Extra towels, eh, yah..
Oops! Sorry.
Doesn't anybody knock around here?
Have you ever lived with anyone?
I mean, full-time relationship
with a member of the opposite sex?
No, not full-time.
Me neither.
- I mean, full-time. - Hmm.
What do you you think it's like?
I guess, scary at first.
Compromises.
Forced intimacy.
Sharing responsibilities.
And you're never alone.
You're never alone.
Of course, that's nothing like what we're doing now.
No, of course not. I mean, this is artificial.
- And temporary. - A charade.
- It's an act. - Pure make-believe.
What is it?
I heard something.
You heard something? What do you mean?
No possible way the test will be postponed?
No. The weather's clear.
Naval monitoring ships are en route.
Dawn, day after tomorrow, it's set.
Good, and after the test fails
we'll get my system approved and installed.
How soon before you can vote again?
Well, there are gonna be delays, of course.
Analysis of test results, modification proposals--
- No, no, no-- - Thaddeus.
We have to go through the process.
After what happens at that test..
[chuckles] ...no one's going to be
in modification proposals.
What exactly will happen?
Why don't I show you?
We made a video of our computer model.
'Bart, get the lights and the shutters.'
- Rats! - Lead-lined.
Lead-lined? What does that mean?
What? Uh, beats me. I don't know.
(Lois) Oh, come on! Oh, this is torture.
(Ian) Roarke, you can't Millions of people!
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Yeah, but..
It's from Jimmy. Voting records of the house defense committee.
Clark, I'm gonna go down to the lobby.
Need to get something from the store.
Okay.
Back in a few.
- Hello? - Clark Kent.
What are you doing in the honeymoon suite
of the Lexor Hotel?
How did you find us?
Oh, Perry White gave us the number.
You and Lois?
Is that..
Does everybody know?
Uh, sure, mom. It's no problem.
We're registered as husband and wife.
Well, uh, Clark, uh
is there anything you'd like to tell us?
Not really, things are going pretty smoothly
assuming Lois keeps her end of the bargain
and lets me have my turn in the bedroom tonight.
I, uh..
Uh, that would be, uh..
Oh, well, I'm sure she will, son.
- 'Oh, honey? Uh--' - Uh, mom, hold on a second.
(Clark) 'Ugh, Lois, what are you doing?'
(Martha) 'Gee, Clark, if we called at a bad time..'
(Clark over phone) 'No, no, no, mom. It's-it's not like that. I just--'
(Martha) 'Honey, you can tell us.'
(Clark) 'Oh! Lois.'
Mom, Lois is in trouble. I'll call you back tomorrow.
(Martha) 'Clark.'
Ah! Jeez!
Ugh!
- 'Lois, what happened?' - I don't know.
- Did you see it? - See what?
Oh, never mind. You were so oblivious.
We can catch it on replay.
You didn't reload the camera.
Didn't I?
Aah!
Sorry.
Oh!
I am going to take a hot shower
and then I'm going to bed.
- Goodnight, Lois. - 'Goodnight!'
- Excuse me. - Oh, sorry.
- You know, could, could I.. - Oh, yeah, sure.
There you go.
Could I just, um, I forgot my toothbrush.
- Oh, yeah. - Thanks.
[chuckles] It's, it's tough, huh?
- What? - Sharing.
Yeah. How do people do it?
I don't know.
(Cat) "Tsunami."
Is that the one with avocado and shrimp?
Yes, Cat, that's the one.
'I was about to make a copy of that file'
when I heard something in the outer office.
What, we'll never know.
But why are they keeping a file on Japanese seafood?
Cat, uh, tsunami is not what you think it is.
It's a giant wave, Cat. It's like a tidal wave.
Oh, wave. Wait a minute. I've got something on a wave..
- 'Uh--' - Wait a minute. Shock wave.
Harrington's committee voted on something
called Project Shock Wave not too long.. Here it is.
"Appropriation approval for system test installation."
(Lois) That vote was taken five weeks ago.
Passed eight to zero with one abstention
Congressman Ian Harrington.
Nothing about what it is.
This is what they were talking about.
Roarke wanted Harrington to reverse this vote.
Yeah, and get his system approved, whatever that means.
If we only knew what Shock Wave was.
How'd it go with Harrington yesterday?
"1:30, lunch with a semi-attractive blonde.
"3 o'clock, haircut and manicure.
"4:30, drinks with a so-so redhead.
7:00 p.m., dinner with one mousy brunette."
It's nice to know our tax dollars are being spread around.
"10 o'clock, drinks with a striking auburn-haired beauty."
Well, finally someone with a little class.
'Who was she?'
Me.
Like superglue. Remember?
Anyway after that, Harrington went back
to his office to see Roarke.
Oh, yeah. Uh, what's the story with Roarke?
Well, after last night's fire drill
Roarke and Bart drove to Pier 31
and went into a warehouse.
'They were still there this morning'
when I left to come back here.
Warehouse leased to... Apocalypse Consulting.
- Did you look inside? - No, there was no windows.
(Lois) 'We're spinning our wheels.'
Some test monitored by naval units
is taking place tomorrow at dawn
and Roarke is planning on sabotaging it.
I think it's time.
Time to go to the top.
To the man who always knows what's happening
to the man who has never let me down.
- You don't mean-- - I do mean.
Sore Throat.
[exhales] Why here? It's freezing.
Sore Throat's choice. He's a creature of habit.
Here, take my jacket.
(Sore Throat) 'Ah, you should dress'
'more warmly, miss.'
This is the cold and flu season.
Allergies, they're killing me.
Always good to see you, Perry. Who are they?
Uh, two of my best reporters.
Well, this violates our agreement.
My understanding was I speak only to you.
Well, it-it doesn't violate it exactly. It just expands it.
Please, uh, trust me.
Well...okay. Just this one time.
What can you tell us about...Project Shock Wave?
Where'd you hear that name?
We have reason to believe that, uh, Thaddeus Roarke
is working with Congressman Ian Harrington
to sabotage Project Shock Wave which is due to be tested--
At dawn tomorrow. I know all about it.
'Project Shock Wave.'
An experimental coastal defense network.
Couple of years ago the navy began lobbying
for their own Star Wars system.
Several proposals were made
and the navy picked Shock Waves.
Roarke's system was runner-up.
Can you tell us who's behind Shock Wave?
Luthor Technologies.
Why did they pick Shock Wave?
More, uh, sophisticated.
It's designed to automatically..
Ah.
...identify any foreign object
within the sensor range
'and calibrate an appropriate response.'
Uh, what kind of response?
(Sore Throat) Well, think of it as, uh
a sonic curtain, sonic vibrations
which provide an impenetrable barrier
that would disable whatever tried to pass.
'I'm not surprised that Roarke is taking steps.'
He put millions into his system.
Tissues, anybody?
Mister...Throat.
What do you suggest we do?
Well..
You could take whatever evidence you have to the navy
but they'd probably accuse you of espionage.
'This test is top secret.'
Or you could just publish your theories.
Force the navy to cancel the test.
Face government censure, a slew of lawsuits
or you could do... what I'm gonna do.
What's that?
Get out of town.
I need a drier climate.
(Lois) 'That's it? That's your advice?'
The great Sore Throat has spoken?
(Sore Throat) What did you expect to hear?
"Follow the money?"
You know, I never understood that.
Well, uh, keep in touch, uh..
[sniffs] As always.
Oh, by the way..
...did I mention that Roarke is completely insane
'with maniacal delusions of grandeur?'
- No. - Well, he is.
I say we publish.
We gather everything we've got, video, audio,
research, and we put it in the afternoon edition.
Assuming Perry goes for it, I-I agree.
Roarke scares me. If half of what we've heard is true
he's gotta be stopped.
Hmm, my credit card.
I was wondering where that was.
- Did you hear something? - Nope.
Well, don't just sit there.
Well, Roarke knows that we're on to him.
Worse than that, he's destroyed all our evidence.
(Clark) And emptied the files.
(Clark) Where is she?
I've checked her apartment, the gym
and the chocolate parlor, all the usual places.
Nothing.
Now, I'm starting to get worried.
Lois was pretty upset.
- I'm starved. Unh. - Chief!
I called everyone I know in Washington.
No one's even interested.
And as far as the navy's concerned
there is no test.
Oh, Lois turn up?
- No. - Hmm.
Who you calling?
Hello, this is Clark Kent from the Daily Planet.
I'd like to speak to Lex Luthor, please.
What would I do if I were her?
Well, something impetuous.
- And headstrong. - And dangerous.
- Anyone else hungry? - 'No, thank you.'
Oh, Lex!
- 'What are you doing here?' - Perry, Mr. Kent, Cat.
Whoever. Luthor Technologies has approximately
half a billion dollars in research and development
tied up in a project code named Shock Wave.
Even the name is top secret, yet you, Mr. Kent, call me up.
You tell me not only do you know about the project
but that you suspect that Thaddeus Roarke
a man with whom I've had previous unsatisfactory dealings
intends upon sabotaging the impending test
a test which commences in six and a half minutes.
So, under the circumstances, I might have elected
to stay home and watch reruns of "Flipper"
on the late night cable channel but I decided to come here.
Now, what is going on?
We've had Roarke and Congressman Ian Harrington
under surveillance.
'Now, Roarke is positive that your system'
will fail its test, leaving the door wide open
for his system to be adopted instead.
Ooh! Italian would be good.
They have the linguini and clam sauce.
Roarke and Harrington?
I should have known. You say Roarke is positive?
- Mm-hmm. - Well, that implies sabotage.
No one ever described Thaddeus Roarke
as an incurable optimist.
(Perry) 'Now, Lex, how can your system be sabotaged?'
As far as I know, it can't.
But Roarke is a weapons expert.
- He is. - Maybe Mexican.
- Chicken enchiladas. - What about a power failure?
There's too many backups.
Besides, Roarke hinted at something
more than a simple breakdown.
Something, something bigger.
Oh, Japanese. Oh, I could go for Japanese.
Hey, how about some of that tsunami?
- Tsunami? - Tsunami.
A giant wave caused by an undersea tremor.
Shock Wave.
And Apocalypse Consulting has a warehouse
on Pier 31.
Where's Lois Lane?
I envy you two.
You'll have a much better view from here.
However, we do need to get out beyond the three-mile limit.
Sayonara.
What did he mean?
We're dead.
We'll be fine, congressman. Someone will find us.
No, it's too late.
I never meant for this to happen.
What?
(man over speaker) 'All systems operational'
'for a sonic barrier penetration test.'
'Sonar sweeps negative.'
Three, two, one.
(man over speaker) 'Shock Wave in ten, nine'
'eight, seven'
'six, five'
'four, three'
'two, one.'
- Lois! - Clark! Over here.
- Where's Roarke? - Gone. Out to sea.
- Is he alright? - I think he's in shock.
Oh, and he never meant for this to happen.
- Meant for what to happen? - I don't know.
Come on! Come on! Get up!
Run! Run!
(Jimmy) '"Surf's up. Superman builds undersea trench."'
"Held for questioning?" They caught the guy red-handed.
Yeah, it's amazing how he manipulated
the Shock Wave sensors into thinking
something the size of the rocky mountains
was trying to penetrate the system.
The system worked fine. It just overreacted.
And the resulting seismic effect caused the tsunami.
So, Luthor Technologies with some modification
gets the contract. End of story.
Uh, not quite. Now, Congressman Ian Harrington is claiming
that he set the whole thing up as a sting operation
to trap Roarke and, uh, any accusations of collusion
on his part are simply unsubstantiated rumors.
- Uh. - The best kind.
I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, mom.
The wrong impression? Oh, whatever do you mean, Clark?
You know Lois and I are just friends and coworkers.
Well, if you say so, son.
I mean, if anything ever did happen between us
which is not to say that it would--
Oh, we understand.
'It would be because..'
...we had gotten to know each other really well, and..
Well, I mean, it wouldn't be impulsive.
That is very sensible, Clark.
So..
So, you really liked being with her, didn't you?
[chuckles] Look, I..
Goodnight, son.
- Uh, Goodnight, dad. - Goodnight, mom.
[laughing] Goodnight, honey.
- Hello. - You'll never guess where I am.
- Our former love nest. - The honeymoon suite? How?
Just the management's way of apologizing
for any inconvenience suffered during our stay.
I was the one who never got to use the bedroom.
Well, this will give you something to look forward to..
When you find the right woman, of course.
Of course.
It's so relaxing here.
I've got the drapes closed.
Well, this is all very fascinating, Lois
but I am beat. I think I'll turn in.
Me, too.
Clark..
What? Was there something else?
No, nothing. It's just.. Well, goodnight, Clark.
Goodnight, Clark.
Goodnight, Lois.
Ah.