1 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:04,046 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:12,304 Double cappuccino, half-caf, nonfat milk, 3 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,139 with just enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing 4 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,225 but not so much that it leaves a mustache. 5 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:19,770 - Cinnamon or chocolate on that? - They make this so complicated. 6 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,522 - Um, cinnamon. - And you? 7 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:25,192 - Let me see, I think I'll have the-- - Oh! Look! It's Daphne. Daphne! 8 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,235 [Frasier] Daphne! 9 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,529 Oh. Hello. Thought I might run into you here. 10 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,865 Oh, please sit, sit. I just stopped in for a bag of beans. 11 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,367 - We're running low at home. - Oh, well... 12 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,285 - I'd be happy to help. - Oh, 2 pounds of... 13 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,578 [both] The Kenya blend. 14 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,288 You remembered. 15 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,206 Hard to forget. 16 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,166 [Frasier] You haven't taken my order yet. 17 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,669 - Most people find that blend too intense. - Not me. 18 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:46,046 I like something that holds its body on my tongue. 19 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,176 We seem to have spilled something here. If you could just... 20 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,597 I don't suppose you'd be interested in something robust, 21 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,182 if it didn't come on too strong. 22 00:00:57,182 --> 00:01:00,686 Oh, if it was a little bit sweet, I might take a liking to it. 23 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,647 Would you like to step over to the counter and try my special blend? 24 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:04,606 I'd love to. 25 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:08,986 Oh, nothing for me, thanks! 26 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,407 Frasier, that man is hitting on our Daphne. 27 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,700 I don't know how she stands it. 28 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:19,621 Niles, look, apropos of nothing, how are things between you and Maris? 29 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,583 Are you implying that my concern for Daphne's welfare 30 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,293 is anything less than pure? 31 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:25,794 I don't know, you tell me. 32 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,755 That is your great shortcoming. You're always distrustful. 33 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,173 You're always suspicious. 34 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,676 Sometimes you just have to have faith that people are all right-- 35 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:33,677 What's he doing now? 36 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,306 - I believe he's bagging her beans. - Oh! 37 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,267 Oh, I'm so excited. 38 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,103 Eric over there is taking me to a club to hear his band tonight. 39 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,855 I know it's not my regular night off, 40 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,565 but I'll switch it with Saturday if that's okay. 41 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:48,734 Oh, isn't he lovely? 42 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,194 I already have a nickname for him. Eric the Red. 43 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,822 It favors him, doesn't it? Don't you think he looks like a Viking? 44 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,365 - Well, I... - Well, ta-ta. 45 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:59,786 Oh. Look at me. I forgot my beans. Earth to Daphne. 46 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,166 How could she like him? 47 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:07,002 The man has "community college" written all over him. 48 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,421 Niles, you know, 49 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:12,215 this infatuation with Daphne is really getting out of hand. 50 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,718 I didn't really mind when it was just a flirtation, 51 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,637 but, you know, I can't help thinking 52 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,765 that this is symptomatic of something wrong between you and Maris. 53 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,602 Well, is it? 54 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,938 Oh... Frasier, I can't lie to you. The truth is... 55 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,274 Maris and I are in a bit of a rut. 56 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:33,362 We seem to have lapsed into this gray, numbing blandness. 57 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,947 That's perfectly normal. A relationship of some years... 58 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,493 Maybe you should try spicing things up a bit. 59 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,452 You mean... 60 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,079 boudoir-wise? 61 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,413 For starters, yes. 62 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,208 - Like how? - Well, well... 63 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,710 The two of you could, uh... 64 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,631 Well, you could... 65 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,551 Well, it's you and Maris, so you could... 66 00:02:58,762 --> 00:02:59,763 I'm stumped. 67 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:07,688 Hi, Roz. How are you? 68 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,191 Do you really want to know how I am, or are you just making conversation? 69 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,194 Because if you really want to know how I am, I'll tell you. 70 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,821 I was just making conversation. 71 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,990 Actually, Roz, there's some advice I need. 72 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:19,908 About what? 73 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,411 A subject in which you're quite well versed: sex. 74 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:23,912 How can I help you? 75 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,040 What do you do when... 76 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,209 When the romance goes out of a relationship? 77 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,752 I get dressed and go home. 78 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:34,965 Let's assume for a moment 79 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,259 that you are capable of a long-term relationship. 80 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,802 What would you do to keep things cooking? 81 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,222 Well, once, I had a boyfriend take me out to a bar, 82 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,142 and we pretended we were strangers picking each other up. 83 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:48,019 - Hmm. - Actually, that was kind of hot. 84 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,187 [both chuckle] 85 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,064 So you used, like, fantasy role-playing? 86 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:54,651 Yeah, as a matter of fact, we had so much fun we tried it again. 87 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:58,196 Only the next time, he got so into it he went home with another woman. 88 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,616 - I'm sorry. - Oh, hell, she was gorgeous. 89 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,452 One more drink and I'd have gone home with her. 90 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,540 My point is that women need to see the men they make love to 91 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,501 as exciting, romantic figures. 92 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,421 I say, if you want to keep this woman interested, 93 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,673 try creating a fantasy for an evening. 94 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,801 Personally, I think you'd make a very sexy gladiator. 95 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:23,096 Roz, this is not for me. It's for my brother, Niles. 96 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,932 Oh, well, in that case, make it a gladiola. 97 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,729 [doorbell rings] 98 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,316 [doorbell ringing] 99 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,779 Niles. 100 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:39,780 Niles. 101 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,032 I'm sorry, Frasier, but something horrible has happened. 102 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,283 Maris kicked me out. 103 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,536 Dear God. Why? What for? 104 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,218 - Oh, my. - [Martin] What's going on out there? 105 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,469 Niles? 106 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,553 [Niles] Hello, Dad. 107 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,017 Never mind. I don't want to know. 108 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,770 Now, Dad, wait, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation 109 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,771 for the way I'm dressed. 110 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:16,107 Keep in mind that I reserve the right to say "stop" at any time. 111 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,778 Well, my plan was to leave a treasure map downstairs for Maris 112 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,239 with clues that would lead her to my whereabouts. 113 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,951 Then I'd hide in the linen closet and wait for her to find me. 114 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,328 Dressed like that? 115 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,499 Actually, no, at the time, I was wearing only my eye patch. 116 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:38,004 Technically, is it still an eye patch if you're wearing it on your--? 117 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:38,839 Stop! 118 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,137 There I was... Ooh. ...lying in wait, 119 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:49,057 with my little plastic knife clenched between my teeth, 120 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,518 when suddenly the closet door was flung open 121 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,813 and I found myself face-to-face with the upstairs maid. 122 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:57,315 She began screaming 123 00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,944 what I gather were some very unflattering things in idiomatic Guatemalan, 124 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:06,575 when Maris stumbled upon the scene and completely misconstrued it. 125 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,785 Next thing I knew, she ordered me out of the house. 126 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,996 I barely had time to grab my pantaloons 127 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,497 and buckle my swash. 128 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,670 Dad. Dad, it's not funny. 129 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,507 Where'd you come up with such a stupid idea? 130 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:23,341 Frasier. 131 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,970 All I suggested was some sexual role-playing. 132 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,472 You're the one that came up with Pirates of the Caribbean. 133 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,185 I've really bungled it this time, haven't I? 134 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,521 Oh, come on, these things happen. 135 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,440 Why don't you stay here tonight with us, 136 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,942 and then tomorrow morning you and Maris can sort things out? 137 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,986 What if we don't? What will I do then? 138 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:46,364 Well, I suppose they could always use an extra busboy at the Jolly Roger. 139 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,784 I'll never be able to face the maid again. 140 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,746 I don't think it's your face she'll remember. 141 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,750 Oh, come on, Niles. 142 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,835 Everybody has an embarrassing story to tell. 143 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:02,005 Did I tell you about the time I got locked outside in the backyard in my underwear? 144 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,715 Only every Thanksgiving. 145 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:07,177 Don't worry. I won't be telling that story this year. 146 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,347 Here we are. 147 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,724 Canadian goose-down pillow, 148 00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,393 Egyptian cotton sheets and a nice vicuña throw 149 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,020 in case you get chilly during the night. 150 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:17,979 How perfect. 151 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,606 I still say a couple of years in the service 152 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,483 would have done you boys a world of good. 153 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,401 Good night. 154 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,319 Good night. 155 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,154 You know... 156 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:30,075 Frasier, Maris and I have had our difficulties before, 157 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,493 but never anything this serious. 158 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,411 I really feel terrible having her mad at me. 159 00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:36,456 It's times like this when I wish I knew how to cry. 160 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,375 Don't be embarrassed on my account. 161 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,878 No, no, it's not that. I'm just not someone who cries. 162 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,380 It's not in my nature. 163 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,132 When Maris' uncle Lyle died, I had to shut my hand in the car door 164 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,343 just to make a decent showing at the funeral. 165 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,014 You're a complex little pirate, aren't you? 166 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,727 - Well, good night, Niles. - Good night. 167 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:00,855 Oh! 168 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,704 Well, thank you again, Eric. I had a wonderful time. 169 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:16,663 Me too. 170 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,794 [Daphne] Well, good night. 171 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:23,712 [Eric] Good night. 172 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,350 [Niles whimpering] 173 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,188 I know we've only had a few dates, 174 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:46,067 but I'm already exhibiting the three signs of a woman in love. 175 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,028 I can't stop thinking about him, 176 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,156 I can't eat, and I bought myself all new underwear. 177 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,536 We've gotta get her a girlfriend to talk to. 178 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:04,210 I just got off the phone with Maris. She's in Arizona for the weekend. 179 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,128 Why? 180 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,589 She said she was so shattered by the experience 181 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,299 she had to fly to her favorite spa 182 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:12,427 to contemplate the future of our marriage from a mud bath. 183 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,430 Well, it'll probably be good for Mrs. Crane. 184 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,807 Eric thinks the earth is very grounding. 185 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,560 Eric, Eric, Eric! Must everything always be about Eric? 186 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,568 Niles, may I suggest that when Maris returns, 187 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,529 you both invest some time in some intensive couples therapy? 188 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:34,991 - There's a Reichian group-- - Oh, blah, blah, blah. 189 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,245 Look, all Maris needs to know is that you love her. 190 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,622 Buy her some flowers. 191 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,832 Fix her a nice romantic dinner when she gets home. 192 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,793 That's enough to make any woman forgive you. 193 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:48,004 - You really think that will work? - If it didn't, you wouldn't be here. 194 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,637 Well, I'd be willing to try, but it's impossible. 195 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,472 Our cook walked out in sympathy with Maris. 196 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,724 Well, I could help you prepare something. 197 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,560 I have a late date with Eric...a. 198 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:06,731 An elderly aunt Erica. But I could come over early 199 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,651 and have everything ready by the time Mrs. Crane arrives. 200 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:10,485 Well... 201 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,612 thank you, Daphne. 202 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,073 Now, what do you think Mrs. Crane would like for dinner? 203 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,699 Oh, oh, you have free rein. 204 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,910 Just bear in mind she can't have shellfish, 205 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:22,372 poultry, red meat, saturated fats, nitrates, 206 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:25,667 wheat, starch, sulfites, MSG or dairy. 207 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,713 - Did I say nuts? - Oh, I think that's implied. 208 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,011 [rain pattering] 209 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,013 [thunder crashing] 210 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:56,656 Here, come in, Daphne, and warm yourself by the fire. 211 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,658 How did you get so wet? 212 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,077 One of your trees blew down in your driveway. 213 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,872 - I had to walk the last hundred yards. - Oh. 214 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:07,917 - I must say, you have a beautiful home. - Oh, well, thank you. 215 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,212 Actually, it was in Maris' family for four generations. 216 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,506 When I was a mere intern, I used to drive through these hills, 217 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:16,801 never dreaming that one day I would live in one of these great mansions. 218 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,971 Then one afternoon, there was Maris, 219 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,264 looking so helpless, 220 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,350 banging on the electric gates with her little fists and a tire iron. 221 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,810 They'd locked her in? 222 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,312 No, no, that was much later. 223 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:33,735 No, no, this time she was returning from the antique mart with a rare bell jar 224 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,445 once owned by Sylvia Plath, 225 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,864 when the gates failed to open. 226 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,241 So naturally, I stopped to offer my assistance, 227 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:44,120 and as our hands touched, there was a sudden spark of electricity. 228 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:49,500 Then, as if by magic, the gates parted before us, and we took it as a sign. 229 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,878 - You knew you were meant to be together. - Yes. 230 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,672 We were married just three short years later. 231 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:59,761 - Look at this. It's beautiful. - It's a glockenspiel. 232 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,305 We bought it on our honeymoon in Zurich. 233 00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:05,558 I brought it down from the attic to remind Maris of better times. 234 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,228 It used to play beautiful music, and now it doesn't. 235 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,437 How's that for irony? 236 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:13,608 Well, let's get you into some dry clothes 237 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:17,320 so you can get started on dinner and we can get you home in time for your date. 238 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,989 [sobbing] 239 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,533 Daphne? 240 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:25,828 What is it? 241 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:27,705 Nothing. 242 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:31,459 No, no, it's definitely something. I'm a psychiatrist. I can read the signs. 243 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,795 Oh, I'm sorry. 244 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:37,006 I didn't want to spoil your reunion with Mrs. Crane, but... 245 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,009 Eric broke up with me. 246 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,762 - He did? - Yes. 247 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,557 He said he couldn't commit to me and his music. 248 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,059 He had to stay focused. 249 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,646 I know it was an excuse. I've heard his music. 250 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,109 He must have another girl. 251 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,735 Oh. Oh-oh-oh... 252 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,032 Well, he's a fool, Daphne, and if he can't appreciate you, 253 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,951 then you're better off without him. 254 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,287 Right now I'm not so sure, 255 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,205 but thank you, Dr. Crane. 256 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,292 [phone ringing] 257 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,130 Niles Crane. 258 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,339 Oh, Maris! 259 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,926 Where are you? 260 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,638 What do you mean, you can't come home? 261 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,849 Well, it's not that bad a storm. 262 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,851 [thunder crashing] 263 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,105 Oh, Maris, I really think you should come home. 264 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:42,572 No, no, well, of course I don't want you traveling if it's not safe. 265 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,074 Yes, yes, I understand. 266 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,367 I'll see you tomorrow. 267 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:50,621 Well... 268 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,249 seems like it's just the two of us. 269 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,209 You mean Mrs. Crane won't be coming? 270 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,920 [thunder crashing] 271 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,426 Oh, my. There goes the electricity. 272 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,386 What do we do now? 273 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:18,441 No, no, the storm's really bad. You shouldn't be driving in it anyway. 274 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,568 No, you just spend the night there. 275 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,779 Right. Good night, Daphne. 276 00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,741 - You told her to spend the night? - Yeah. What's the problem? 277 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,077 You know how Niles feels about her. 278 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:32,622 Oh, relax. It's just another one of Niles' little crushes. 279 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,124 I suppose you're right. Niles is harmless enough. 280 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,001 He'd never try anything with Maris in the house. 281 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,170 Maris never made it back. She's stuck in Arizona. 282 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,297 - I've gotta get Daphne out of there! - Why? 283 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,134 God, it's a recipe for disaster. You've got a vulnerable woman 284 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,845 and an unstable man in a Gothic mansion on a rainy night. 285 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,932 All that's missing is someone shouting, "Heathcliff!" across the moors. 286 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,100 Wait for me. 287 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,811 - No, Dad, Dad, you're not coming. - Yes, I am coming. 288 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,270 [both bickering] 289 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,148 [playing tempestuous music] 290 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:10,118 - Oh, Dr. Crane, you play beautifully. - Thank you. 291 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,453 [plays discordant notes] 292 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,793 [plays resolving chords] 293 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:23,923 I found this in your upstairs guest room. I hope it's all right. 294 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,509 I thought you were going to put on some of Maris' clothes. 295 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:29,095 You know, something bulky from her wool collection. 296 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,891 Well, I was. But she's quite a bit smaller than me. 297 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:37,228 This was all I could find that fit. Should I go look for something else? 298 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,397 No. Yes. No... 299 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:41,232 Oh-- No-- [bangs keys] Ooh. Uh-- 300 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:48,406 No, no, the important thing is that it's big enough and... 301 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,074 warm enough and... 302 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,951 silky enough... 303 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:53,953 and... 304 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,663 I have to make a phone call. 305 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,546 [ringing] 306 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,217 [on machine] Hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane. 307 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,720 - I'm listening. - [machine beeps] 308 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,679 [Niles] Frasier. 309 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,389 Frasier. 310 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:17,351 I'm having a little crisis here. Actually, a large crisis. 311 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,020 It's no time to screen calls. 312 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:20,605 Damn! 313 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,772 [dial tone hums] 314 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:25,610 - This is stupid. - It is not. 315 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,070 Nothing's gonna happen between them anyway. 316 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,948 What if it does? He's my brother, and he loves his wife. 317 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,785 Now, now, I know their marriage is not everyone's cup of tea. 318 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,955 But on some twisted, bizarre level, it seems to work for them. 319 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,291 If Niles did something to hurt his marriage, 320 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,375 he'd be the one to suffer. 321 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,919 I'm his brother. I won't let him suffer. 322 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,046 Slow down. You're gonna miss the turn onto Roosevelt. 323 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,632 Dad, I allowed you to come along strictly on the agreement 324 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,091 that you would not give directions. 325 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,134 I'm not giving directions. 326 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:53,471 - I'm telling you which way is faster. - Oh! Roosevelt will add ten minutes. 327 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,889 In sunshine. In rain, it's faster. 328 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,391 Oh, spatial relationships change when it rains? 329 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,519 No, you just get better traction on Roosevelt. 330 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,730 You wouldn't have to worry about that if you had all-weather tires on the car, 331 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,774 but no, you gotta have the fancy German things. 332 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:05,691 [both bickering] 333 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,780 We'd better make this last. 334 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,698 This is all that's left of the wood. 335 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,325 [sobbing] 336 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:15,743 Oh, no, don't worry. 337 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,746 If this runs out, there's an antique sideboard in the drawing room 338 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,331 that I think is a reproduction. 339 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,001 Oh. It's Eric isn't it? 340 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,005 I don't know why I'm being so silly. 341 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:31,384 We weren't together long enough for anything to really happen. 342 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,053 Sometimes the most powerful feelings 343 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,347 can come from the promise of what might happen. 344 00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,848 Just the anticipation is enough 345 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,685 to make all the little hairs on your neck stand on end. 346 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,146 [thunder crashing] 347 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,358 - Dr. Crane. - Yes, Daphne. 348 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,485 - We're losing the fire. - No, we're not. 349 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,779 It's burning with the heat of a thousand suns. 350 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,492 But it's down to its last embers. 351 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,494 Well, then, I'll put some wood on it. 352 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,832 You had to keep pumping gas, so now you've flooded it. 353 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,751 Dad, you cannot flood a fuel-injected engine. 354 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,211 Oh, this is so maddening. 355 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,006 We're so close to the house I can see the gargoyles. 356 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,801 - If we'd taken Roosevelt-- - We'd be stuck on Roosevelt. 357 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,428 You never could admit you made a mistake. 358 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:19,015 That is it. Just call the auto club. I'm gonna make a dash for it. 359 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:24,270 You'll make better time if you take the shortcut by the side of the fountain! 360 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,564 Well, same to you! 361 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,986 [Daphne] I suppose I just fall in love too fast. 362 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:36,324 The minute I feel that spark, I just give my heart away. 363 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,702 Daphne, you must stop being so hard on yourself. 364 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,247 What you see as a fault is also your greatest gift. 365 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,082 To be so open 366 00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,752 and warm and loving. 367 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,171 You're so kind, Dr. Crane. 368 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,132 I'm glad we ended up like this tonight. 369 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:54,675 So am I. 370 00:18:56,802 --> 00:19:01,098 It's just so nice to be with a man you feel so comfortable with. 371 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,143 I feel very close to you. 372 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,313 I feel very close to you too, Daphne. 373 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,275 You know, it's easy being someone you feel close to 374 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:14,195 when you feel close to someone who's so... 375 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:15,946 close. 376 00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,949 [thunder crashing] 377 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,744 [glockenspiel playing lively tune] 378 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:28,626 Dr. Crane! Your glockenspiel has sprung to life! 379 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,176 Oh, the clock! 380 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,724 My God. It hasn't run like this in years. 381 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,059 Maris will be delighted. 382 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:50,940 Maris. 383 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,319 You really love her, don't you? 384 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,155 You know, I do. 385 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,244 Love is a funny thing, isn't it? 386 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:07,039 Sometimes it's exciting and passionate, and sometimes it's... 387 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:08,624 something else. 388 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,293 Something comfortable and familiar. 389 00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,256 That newly exfoliated little face staring up at you 390 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,924 from across the breakfast table. 391 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:23,264 Sharing a laugh together when you see someone wearing white after Labor Day. 392 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:29,019 I hope someday some man will feel that way about me. 393 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,355 Oh... Daphne, don't worry. 394 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,274 You are a very... 395 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,987 special person, and someday, a man worthy of you will come along. 396 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,990 Just as soon as the gods create him. 397 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,369 That's the loveliest thing anyone's ever said to me. 398 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,037 Thank you, Dr. Crane. 399 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:48,789 You're a good friend. 400 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,586 [Frasier] Stop! 401 00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:56,213 [yelling] 402 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,257 [Niles] Frasier! 403 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:02,970 Have you two gone mad? 404 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,680 You'll regret this for the rest of your lives! 405 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,307 What are you talking about? 406 00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,894 Well, the two of you here alone, the fire, the candlelight, the nightie! 407 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,729 Dr. Crane. 408 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:14,148 You didn't think that Dr. Crane and I were...? 409 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,025 Dr. Crane! 410 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,653 You have some nerve to imply that your brother 411 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,697 would do anything so deplorable. 412 00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:24,909 Why, just moments ago, he made a beautiful speech 413 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:27,244 about how much he loves his wife, 414 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,706 how he cherishes her excruciating little face, 415 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,500 and how they laugh at white people. 416 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:38,005 - That didn't sound right. - Close enough. 417 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,467 I'm sorry, Daphne. I didn't mean to suggest-- 418 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,802 I wasn't trying to imply that-- 419 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:46,013 Then just exactly what was it you wanted us to stop doing? 420 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,392 [Frasier] I wanted you to stop, uh... 421 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:53,437 standing here in silence. A night like this calls for music. 422 00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:57,358 Daphne, please, some wine for all of us. Niles, join me at the piano, please. 423 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:03,030 Are you sure everything's all right? 424 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:04,114 Absolutely. 425 00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:07,117 Frasier, my glockenspiel is working again. 426 00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:12,748 Shall we? 427 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,708 [both playing upbeat music] 428 00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,379 [theme music playing] 429 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:23,133 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 430 00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:25,344 ♪ Mercy ♪ 431 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,680 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 432 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,474 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 433 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,726 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ 434 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:34,061 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 435 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:37,523 ♪ With those tossed salads And scrambled eggs ♪ 436 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,109 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 437 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:43,904 Frasier has left the building.