1 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,968 Okay, Dad, now you've seen the executive offices, 2 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,096 the advertising offices and the lunch room. 3 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:18,601 And we've now finally come to the sanctum sanctorum, my studio. 4 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,896 Oh, you might recognize that handsome rogue over there. 5 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,899 Wow, your head photographs even bigger than it is. 6 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,276 Very droll. Get in here. 7 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,446 This is what, we in the radio game, call "the booth." 8 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,990 It's here that I sit day after day and dispense the advice 9 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,826 that helps the emotionally distraught through their troubled lives. 10 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,080 Mmm. Suppose this stuff's bulletproof? 11 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,375 Dad, you know you could have gone home after lunch. 12 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,627 - I thought you'd enjoy it. - No, don't touch that! 13 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,504 It's a sophisticated piece of electronic equipment. 14 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,172 - What is it? - I have no idea! 15 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:49,675 Roz told me never to touch it. 16 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,594 - See, Dad, the usual procedure is-- - Testing! Testing! 17 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,471 - Testing! - Dad! Dad! Dad! 18 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,098 Let's just go into Roz's booth, okay? 19 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,934 You can touch anything you want to in there. 20 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,935 - Hey, Frasier! - Hello, Roz. 21 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:04,272 - Hi, Mr. Crane. What brings you here? - Hi. I'm just showing Dad around. 22 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,856 Then he's gonna sit and listen to the show. 23 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,776 Yeah, it's kind of like payback for when Frasier and Niles were kids. 24 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,028 I used to show them around the police station where I worked. 25 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:14,115 Yes, he used to make a big game of "locking" us 26 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:16,743 in one of the cells and then pretending to lose the key. 27 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,329 I was just joking with them. I knew they weren't scared. 28 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:24,084 Well, no, we weren't really scared. After a while, we did become quite hungry. 29 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,753 Hey, Frasier, could you lend me 10 bucks? 30 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,213 Did you leave your wallet home? 31 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,841 No, I gave the last of my money to this poor guy down 32 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,968 in front of the building. He's an Australian tourist. 33 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,178 He lost his wallet and needed 10 dollars. 34 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,347 To take a cab to the Australian Consulate before it closes? 35 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,057 Yeah. How'd you know? 36 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,477 There is no Australian Consulate in Seattle. 37 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,731 Oh, that poor guy. 38 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,651 Roz, it's a scam. He scammed you. 39 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,404 No. This guy was for real. Honest. He even said-- 40 00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,739 "If you give me your address, 41 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,699 I'll send you the money back with interest." 42 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,910 God. I'm an idiot! 43 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:03,456 No. Don't feel bad. These guys are professionals. 44 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,292 Don't touch that! 45 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,881 What is this place? A radio station or a nuclear missile site? 46 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,799 No, listen, Roz, don't feel bad. 47 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,593 I was a cop for 30 years 48 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,845 and they could still fake me out once in a while. 49 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,306 These guys are professionals. They know what to do. 50 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,433 Especially if you're an easy mark like Roz. 51 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,810 Hey, the criminal mind is more complex than you think. 52 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,021 - They can fool you. - By all means, Dad, 53 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,607 lecture me on the complexities of the human mind. 54 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,817 Are you forgetting that I graduated with honors from Harvard 55 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,445 - in psycho-social behaviorisms? - I know. I was at your graduation. 56 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:38,033 Impressive bunch. A car backfired and half of them wet their gowns. 57 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,536 Well, it sounded louder on the dais. 58 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,414 All I'm trying to say is, if it were me on the street, 59 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,499 I wouldn't have been fooled. 60 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,542 You think because of your book smarts 61 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,169 you can spot a crook just like that, huh? 62 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,172 Well, if I can't, I'm in the wrong business. 63 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,882 You want to put your money where your mouth is? 64 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:55,925 Oh, what do you mean? 65 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,427 I've got three people coming over for poker tonight. 66 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:01,181 Two of them are cops. The third one's done time in jail. 67 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,517 I'll bet you 5 bucks, you can't tell which one's the ex-con. 68 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,976 Hey, can I get in on the action? 69 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,438 - Of course, you can. - Great, 10 bucks on your dad. 70 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,858 Oh, you're just itching to give your money away today, aren't you? 71 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,528 All right, you're both on. But I think you're underestimating me! 72 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,988 What truffles are to pigs, so are these charlatans 73 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,658 and pettifoggers to my mental acuity. 74 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,956 We didn't know better back then. His mother smoked during pregnancy. 75 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,549 So who are these people coming over tonight? 76 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,676 Just some of Dad's old friends from the precinct. 77 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:42,430 Yeah, well, if we're having company, someone should have been cleaned up. 78 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:45,725 Because someone hasn't been smelling so fresh lately. 79 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,978 Because someone is long overdue for a tub. 80 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,564 Hey, I took a shower this morning. 81 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:55,109 You know I was talking about Eddie. He's long overdue for a-- 82 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,986 Don't say that word. 83 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,739 - What word? - B-A-T-H. 84 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,955 When he yawns, it smells like swamp gas, but his spelling is improving. 85 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,918 I've made meatball sandwiches, 86 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,880 pepperoni pizzas and little sausage rolls. 87 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,214 Will you need anything else? 88 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,217 The number of the nearest gastro enter ologist. 89 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,721 Hey, guys! Come on in! Yeah, these are my poker pals. 90 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,473 This is Linda, Frank and Jimmy. 91 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:28,559 - This is my son, Frasier. - Linda! Good to see you Frank. Jimmy. 92 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,062 - Nice to meet you. - Throw your coats on the couch. 93 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,112 Kind of hard to tell, isn't it? They all look like they did time. 94 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,867 Well, my Dad tells me he's filled you in on our little bet. 95 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,994 The ground rules for tonight are that I'm not allowed 96 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,246 to ask you any questions directly about your line of work. 97 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,541 But whatever questions I do ask, you must answer truthfully. 98 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,336 All I want to do is play cards. 99 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,296 - Great place you've got here, Marty. - Thanks. 100 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,298 Actually, it's mine. 101 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:01,550 Ooh, you must do pretty well on that radio show of yours. 102 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,469 What is this place, about 2000 square feet? 103 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,346 Yeah, about. 104 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,934 Hmm. That's interesting. You noticed the space. 105 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,436 Most people usually mention the view or the high ceilings. 106 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,272 But you mentioned the space. 107 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,192 It's almost as if you'd spent some time living in a cramped, 108 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:21,571 - confining, tight area. - So you've been to Jimmy's apartment, huh? 109 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,115 - Hello there. - Hi, Daphne. 110 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,367 This is Daphne Moon. 111 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,829 These are my friends, Linda, Frank, Jimmy. 112 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:33,249 Daphne, that's a very pretty name. Do people call you "Daffy" for short? 113 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,751 Not twice. 114 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:41,882 Well, it's nice to meet all of you. Here we go, I've got beers for everyone. 115 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,884 Still drinking the Ballantines, I see. 116 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:46,846 Yeah, when you kick off, that company's going down the tubes. 117 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:47,847 Oh, yeah. 118 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,516 Many's the time I come home, see cans of them lined up, 119 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,727 one after another on the coffee table. Like little, tin soldiers they are. 120 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,314 Yeah, thanks a lot, Daphne. Don't you have a dog to wash? 121 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,694 I suppose I do. Of course, I have to catch the little bugger first. 122 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:05,614 - Maybe one of these would help. - Hey, beer's not good for dogs. 123 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,284 No, but it's super for me. 124 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,872 - Hey, Marty, she's pretty nice. - Yeah and sexy too, you dirty, old man. 125 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,667 Interesting. 126 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,006 You find her attractive, do you? 127 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,179 Sure, don't you? 128 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,391 Yes, but I mean, attraction to one's own sex 129 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,310 is a not uncommon result of long, 130 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:37,522 enforced periods of time spent exclusively in their company. 131 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,943 - Frasier, I may have underestimated you. - Really? 132 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,322 Yeah, you're making a bigger jackass of yourself than I thought. 133 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,325 High card deals. 134 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,786 You know, we could really use some music. Anybody play the harmonica? 135 00:06:56,625 --> 00:07:02,004 My deal. Dollar ante to start. Five-card draw. Jacks or better to open. 136 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,464 And a three-raise maximum. 137 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,758 - Sure you don't want to play, Fras? - Oh, no, no, no. 138 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,052 I'll just take this time to observe the triumvirate. 139 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,846 I'll use my considerable education, my years of study, 140 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,807 and not to mention, well, all right, let's say it, 141 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,519 my God-given gift to intuit. 142 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,316 This is the kid that used to get his head flushed in the toilet, right? 143 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,242 All right. I call. What do you got? 144 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,453 Full boat, aces up. 145 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,915 Damn it! That's another one. I'm losing my shirt here. 146 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,167 Would somebody mind giving me a hand with the coffee? 147 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,295 - Yeah. I'll give you a hand. - Come along, then. 148 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,381 I really like your accent. Where are you from? 149 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,715 - Manchester. - Manchester? 150 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,093 - That's where The Beatles are from, right? - Oh, no, no. 151 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,595 - You're thinking Liverpool. - Then who's from Manchester? 152 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,682 No one. That's why I live here now. 153 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:59,687 - You've been awfully quiet there. - I'm sorry, Dad. Just been observing. 154 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,898 No, no, don't apologize. It was a compliment. 155 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,194 You know, Frank's an interesting study, isn't he? 156 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,280 Temper, loner, a bit unsocial. 157 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:14,827 Almost a stereotypical portrait of a man who's spent his entire life behind bars. 158 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,538 This dish a Lalique or a Steuben? 159 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,625 They had no spots open in the prison laundry. 160 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,586 He worked in fine china and glassware. 161 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:32,595 Here you go, big winner. Buy yourself something pretty and frilly. 162 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:38,435 Sorry, Frank, I can't hear you. I've got your money stuck in my ears. 163 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,438 Well, I guess there's only one thing left. 164 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,983 How about it, Fras? You figure it out yet? 165 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,276 Actually, I believe I have. 166 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,529 Shall we step into the drawing room? 167 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,239 Please have a seat. 168 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,076 Okay, Sherlock. You've got center stage. 169 00:08:56,077 --> 00:09:00,915 Well, I have sketched an accurate psychological profile of each one of you. 170 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,003 And in so doing, I have come to the incontrovertible conclusion 171 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:10,299 that the criminal among us can only be Frank! 172 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,968 Wrong. Frank's a highly decorated undercover cop. 173 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,137 Exactly! 174 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,684 Just a little too obvious, you know, 175 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,353 the broken vocabulary, the jailhouse pallor, 176 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,565 - the under-developed social skills. - Hey. 177 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,609 So you tried to use psychology against me, did you? 178 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,152 Threw a gender-bender at me, 179 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,363 thinking that I would just assume that a felon would naturally be a man. 180 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,866 Well, I'm on to your little game, mister. 181 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:39,078 The criminal among us is, indeed, the very wily Linda! 182 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,538 - Nope. - Jimmy! 183 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,250 You're right! 184 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,878 You seem like such a nice guy. 185 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,296 I am a nice guy. 186 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,466 Yeah, he was voted most congenial in his cell block. 187 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,677 Sorry, doc. I'm afraid you owe your old man 5 bucks. 188 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,680 - I'm afraid I do. - Oh. 189 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,517 You'll probably use this. 190 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,145 Well, it's been a lot of laughs, but it's getting late. 191 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,022 - We'd better get going. - Yeah, you're right. 192 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,024 - Thanks a lot, Marty. - Oh, yeah, great. 193 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,527 Very pleasant, you all come again any time you like, 194 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,113 hopefully when we're here, of course. 195 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,991 - Good night, Marty. - See ya. 196 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,661 - Next week, Marty. - Yeah. 197 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,083 Jimmy. Boy. Who would have thought? 198 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,544 - How do you even know that guy, Dad? - Oh, he was a jailhouse snitch. 199 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,212 He helped us out a couple of times. 200 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,713 He's great company, 201 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,508 but I wouldn't trust him for a second if he wasn't surrounded by cops. 202 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,636 - Who was a jailhouse snitch? - Jimmy. 203 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,637 Jimmy's an ex-con? 204 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:43,142 Well, you certainly proved your point. I feel stupid as hell. 205 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,685 I feel rather a fool myself. 206 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,395 Why do you care one way or another? 207 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:50,232 Because I've agreed to go out with Jimmy tomorrow night. 208 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,650 You did what? 209 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,944 He asked if I'd like to go out for drinks with him 210 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,989 to a place called "The Topaz Room," meet some of his friends. 211 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,574 It sounded harmless enough. 212 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,493 Why, it's out of the question. You have to call him and cancel. 213 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,246 But you said yourself he was fun to spend time with. 214 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,957 I said, do time with. 215 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:11,170 No, no, you just can't go. That's all there is to it. Case closed. 216 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,671 Excuse me, Dad, if I can interrupt that 217 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,464 self-righteous police mentality for a second, 218 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,635 - don't you believe in second chances? - I did, then we had Niles. 219 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,682 Well, I believe that when a man has paid his debt to society, 220 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,892 he deserves a fresh start. 221 00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,685 I see no harm in her going out with him once. 222 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,688 - I do! She's not going! I say she isn't! - I say she is. She is. 223 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,148 - She is not! - Oh, this is-- 224 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,774 - She is not! - Excuse me, gentlemen, 225 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:36,028 but might I interject one tiny, little thought into this conversation? 226 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,279 Of course, Daphne. 227 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,865 Belt up! Both of you! 228 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,993 It may have escaped your notice, but I happen to be a grown woman. 229 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,120 And nobody has told me whom I might 230 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,247 or might not date since I was a schoolgirl, 231 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,540 and I didn't listen then. 232 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,167 When I've quite made up my mind 233 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:53,003 what I plan to do about Jimmy, I'll let you know. 234 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,963 But right now I'm going to my room. 235 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,217 You two hens have wasted enough of my time. 236 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,601 That would have been a very dramatic exit if only her room was down that hall. 237 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,613 I don't think she should be going out with that guy. 238 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,365 - Don't worry, she won't. - How do you know? 239 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,200 Because she has too much respect for your opinion. 240 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,869 She won't go against your wishes, if I'm any judge of character. 241 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,413 Oh, dear God. 242 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:33,877 What can I get you? 243 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,215 I'll have a decaf latte, and please be sure to use skim milk. 244 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,593 - I'll have the same. - Got it. Two gutless wonders! 245 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,889 Thank you. 246 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,935 Certainly playing fast and loose with his tips for a man who drives a van. 247 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,190 Oh, oh, oh! 248 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,901 How was your encounter with Dad's poker buddies last night? 249 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,612 I must tell you, the picture of you trying to make conversation 250 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,490 with Dad's blue-collar cronies all evening is priceless. 251 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,953 When I told Maris about it, it was all she could do to keep her eyes from dancing. 252 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,580 It was really rather interesting. 253 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,459 You know one of them actually did time in prison for fraud? 254 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,502 Good Lord. What was he like? 255 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,463 He was quite personable. You know Dad, he's so judgmental. 256 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,383 He is and I've often condemned him for it. 257 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,971 For some reason, just because the man was in prison, 258 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,764 everyone seems to have marked him for life. 259 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,016 - It's ridiculous. - Yeah. 260 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,475 Not all criminals are recidivists. 261 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,395 I've seen many cases where after they've paid their debt to society, 262 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,647 they've gone on to lead productive lives. 263 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,982 Dad's just being narrow-minded. 264 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,151 Yes, I almost had to sedate him when Daphne announced 265 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,570 she was gonna go out with him. 266 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,913 Frasier, I hope you're just yanking my giggle chain. 267 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,459 What do you mean? 268 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,502 You're telling me that you're letting this delicate English rose 269 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,838 be sullied by some sociopath? 270 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,799 Niles, he passed bad checks. He's not a sociopath. 271 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,593 He's a degenerate who should be put away! 272 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,219 - You haven't even met him. - For God's sake! 273 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,264 - They're all depraved animals! - Here's your coffee. Anything else? 274 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,183 Yes, the check please and quickly. 275 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,436 - Frasier, we've got to rescue her. - Niles, just sit down, relax. 276 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,980 - You're being irrational. - Don't you dare call me irrational! 277 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,524 You know that makes me crazy. 278 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:25,989 Now, Niles, Niles, listen. I think Jimmy's a perfectly nice guy. 279 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,908 Daphne can take care of herself. 280 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,660 I don't care. I'm going after her. I'm not without resources. 281 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,204 My Tai Kwon Do instructor tells me 282 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,582 I'm just two moves away from becoming quite threatening. 283 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,630 Niles, just listen to me for a second. 284 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,840 You know perfectly well she'll resent any interference. 285 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,634 Want to make a fool of yourself, go right ahead. 286 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,220 - But don't ask me to join you. - Fine. Just tell me where they went. 287 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,056 Some place called The Topaz Room. 288 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,474 The Topaz Room? 289 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:54,810 I thought the cops shut that place down after the last shooting. 290 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:55,686 I'll drive. 291 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,620 Your shot, girlie. 292 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,501 But before you take that shot, 293 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,421 why don't we make this a little more interesting? 294 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:25,465 All you have to do to win is run those last five balls. 295 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,426 So, what do you say we double our bet? 296 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,845 Oh, well, I might as well. 297 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,014 I never really have understood this game. 298 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,975 Yeah, I never understood it 299 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:39,063 when I started playing with my older brothers at the age of 6. 300 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,608 And I never understood it during all my formative years 301 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,654 spent mostly in the pool rooms of Manchester, 302 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:51,742 playing in local competitions and club tournaments... 303 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,747 winning cup after cup after cup. 304 00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:02,336 Until our poor dad had to convert the pantry into a trophy room. 305 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,632 And I can't really claim to understand it-- 306 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,177 Eight ball in far corner. 307 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,554 - -Even today. 308 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,726 But I certainly do enjoy it. 309 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,813 Thank you, gentlemen. 310 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,981 And now if you'll excuse me, 311 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,442 I'm going to attempt to use the ladies' room 312 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,903 without touching anything. 313 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:42,250 Gee, look at this place. I never felt so conspicuous in my life. 314 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,836 We must simply try to blend in. 315 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,379 Fortunately... 316 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,967 Fortunately, I haven't shaved in several hours. 317 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,844 You should loosen your tie. 318 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,264 Yes, and you might try tucking in your watch fob. 319 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,891 That happens to be a Phi Beta Kappa key. 320 00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:00,895 Oh, then by all means, let it dangle. Perhaps they have a local chapter. 321 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:08,194 Actually, this is quite stimulating in a "Lower Depths" sort of way. 322 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,947 And I've always been something of a squalor buff. 323 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,492 The only problem is I don't see-- I don't see Daphne or Jimmy. 324 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:20,414 Excuse me. 325 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,505 Has a young woman been in here this evening, 326 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,549 approximately 5'9" and three-quarters, 327 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,176 with skin the color of Devonshire cream and the sort of eyes 328 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,681 that gaze directly into one's soul with neither artifice nor evasion? 329 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,979 Well, this would be an Englishwoman named Daphne. 330 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,730 - Yeah. The one that came in with Jimmy. - Right. 331 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,983 She was over there shooting pool a minute ago. 332 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,110 - I think she stepped in the back. - What happened to Jimmy? 333 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,320 He tried to get fresh with her. 334 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,448 She threw a hammerlock on him and ran him out of here. 335 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,825 That dame can take care of herself. 336 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,827 - I told you so. - It's good riddance too. 337 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:02,455 Guy was no good. I knew it the first time I saw him. 338 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:03,999 You can always tell. 339 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,001 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 340 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,086 Come on, Niles. 341 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,921 You've had your walk on the wild side. 342 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,841 - But what about Daphne? - You heard what she did to Jimmy. 343 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,759 Think how mad she'll be if she finds us here. 344 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,304 You're right. Let's make ourselves scarce. 345 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,389 Good Lord! There she is! 346 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,057 - Oh! Oh, God! I'm sorry. - Hey! 347 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,851 - What the hell are you doing? - I'm sorry. 348 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:25,812 - I was just trying to-- I'm sorry. - You made me miss that shot! 349 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,648 I had 200 bucks riding on that shot. 350 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,358 Really sorry! 351 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,320 - Where do you think you're going? - I'll be back. 352 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,323 I was just going to put another quarter in the meter. 353 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,367 The meters don't run at night. And neither do you. 354 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:39,868 Oh! 355 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,912 That was a rather amusing play on words. You're a regular George S. Kaufman. 356 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,665 We must tell our friends about this place. 357 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:46,750 You owe me $200. 358 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,376 Oh, well, I'd gladly pay you, 359 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,545 but I don't have that kind of cash on me. 360 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:53,131 Even if he did, it would be absurd to bring it into a place like this 361 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,009 with the kind of element that you run into... 362 00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,636 Maybe I could write you a check? 363 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,680 My element don't take checks. 364 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:04,017 I think maybe we should take these guys outside and wise them up. 365 00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:07,103 - I don't really think that's necessary. - Oh, my goodness! 366 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,981 What are you two doing here? 367 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,524 We might ask you the same thing. 368 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,778 This happens to be one of our favorite haunts. 369 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,865 Actually, Maris and I had our rehearsal dinner here. 370 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,619 The place was different then. It was more of a garden room. 371 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,955 - The trellis was over there... - Shut up, Niles. 372 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,415 You followed me, didn't you? 373 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,959 Oh, Daphne, we were worried about you. 374 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,755 Excuse me, lady, but it seems like your friends can't seem to come up 375 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,549 with the 200 they owe me, so I'm gonna have to, uh, 376 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:39,511 pardon my French, beat the crap out of them. 377 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,263 I'm a psychiatrist. Maybe we could take this out in sessions. 378 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,432 - You know? It seems you have some... - Outside! 379 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:47,186 Wait! I have money. 380 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,022 How'd you like to go for double or nothing, sport? 381 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:51,440 On what? 382 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,110 Well, you look like a betting man. 383 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:59,490 I'll wager I can sink these five balls with a single shot. 384 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:04,662 If I do, these boys are square. If I miss, you double your money. 385 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,789 Hey, I don't mind taking your money, 386 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:10,125 but I was kind of looking forward to pulping this guy. 387 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:13,879 Yeah, well, we won't quibble. If I miss, you can pulp him. 388 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,005 Tell you what. 389 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,384 I'm feeling generous tonight. I'll throw in the little one as well. 390 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,594 What'd she mean by that, "throw in the little one"? 391 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,055 And what in God's name is pulping? 392 00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,392 You're on. 393 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,894 Okay, but just to make sure 394 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:33,231 this is on the up and up, let's use six balls. 395 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:38,612 Instead of sinking all five with one shot, how about sinking all six? 396 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:43,284 Do that and I'll, uh, forget the 200 bucks. 397 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:45,911 Fair enough. 398 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,171 Need a bit of chalk for my cue. 399 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,222 Does it matter in what order I make them? 400 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,224 Daphne! 401 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,562 Hey, lady, if you make any of them, it'll be a miracle. 402 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:13,689 Right. 403 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,110 Well, here goes nothing. 404 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,771 Run for it! 405 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:14,290 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 406 00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,209 ♪ Quite stylish ♪ 407 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,920 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 408 00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:21,256 ♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 409 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:23,424 ♪ Ha ha, ha♪ha ♪ 410 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,093 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 411 00:22:25,094 --> 00:22:28,264 ♪ With those tossed salads And scrambled eggs ♪ 412 00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:31,642 ♪ They're calling again ♪ 413 00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:35,895 ♪ Scrambled eggs all over my face ♪ 414 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,314 ♪ What is a boy to do? ♪ 415 00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,277 ♪ Good night, everybody! ♪