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[theme music playing]
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...and though washing one's hands
20 to 30 times a day
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would be considered obsessive-compulsive,
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please bear in mind
that your husband is a coroner.
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Thank you for your call, Jeanine.
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Roz, whom do we have next?
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We have Ethan on line three and
he's having a little problem at school.
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- Hello, Ethan. I'm listening.
- [Ethan] Hi, Dr. Crane.
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- How old are you?
- I'm 13.
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Well, what can I do for you?
11
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I'm having a lot of problems
with the other kids at school.
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They're always beating me up.
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Why do you think that's so?
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Probably because I'm smart.
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I have a 160 IQ.
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I'm in the astronomy club
and I hate sports.
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Well, Ethan, you know,
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the other children are just acting out
of jealousy and immaturity.
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I know it doesn't help much right now,
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but the day will come
in the next few years
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when you will have the last laugh.
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That's it?
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Yes.
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Frankly, Dr. Crane,
I find that advice patronizing,
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simplistic, and in all candor, uninspired.
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The real surprise here
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is that they pay you
to dole out this balloon juice.
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- Ethan, where are you calling from?
- Home.
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Well, if any of Ethan's classmates
are listening,
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you know where he is,
and he can't stay in there forever.
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Thank you for your call.
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Well, that's about it for today.
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This is Frasier Crane,
KACL, talk radio, 780 AM.
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Well, Roz, I thought that
was a pretty good show, didn't you?
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Yeah. Sure. Whatever you say.
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You seem a bit distracted there, Roz.
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- You got another one of your hot dates?
- If you must know, yes.
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Pick you up outside in five minutes?
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Great. Thanks, Noel.
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Noel? Noel Shemp sky from Sales?
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That's who your date's with?
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Well, it's not a date.
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We're just going out for a drink, okay?
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Noel the mole?
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I know he's not great-looking.
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I know he drives a '73 Dodge Polaris.
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But he's just always struck me
as a really interesting guy.
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Mm-hm.
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Look, the world
is loaded with superficial guys.
50
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You know, I just want to try going out
with someone who has a good heart.
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He's smart. He's substantial.
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And, you know,
considering my track record lately,
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I would hope you'd support me.
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Is that asking too much?
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Does Noel still have that autographed
picture of Captain Kirk in his cubicle?
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Why do I tell you anything?
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[Niles] Knock, knock.
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Can I be of any assistance?
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Oh, no, thank you, Dr. Crane.
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I think I have everything under control.
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Well, do you mind if I linger then?
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I've always been sort of a kitchen person.
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Suit yourself. I like the company.
64
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So how's Dad's therapy going?
65
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Well, we're getting
more mobility in his hip
66
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and his flexibility is improving,
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but it's always a chore
to get him to do his exercises.
68
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Of course, I've found the secret is
if I bribe him with sweets, then...
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Oh, my goodness!
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Dr. Crane.
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[groans]
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Dr. Crane, can you get up?
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No, no. I think I'd better
stay here for a few minutes.
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I thought I heard--
Niles, what are you doing?
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I'm afraid he conked
his head on the hood there.
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You are shameless.
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I have a very sore head
and a crackerjack lawyer,
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so don't crowd me.
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Here, put this on it.
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Oh, thank you. Daphne, you've been
wonderful in this time of crisis.
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Oh, come on, Camille.
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I need to talk to you.
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Here, have a seat right here.
84
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Now, listen, Niles. I'm having
a young lady over on Friday night.
85
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I was hoping that maybe
you could take Dad out for me.
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Oh, I wish you'd said Saturday.
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- Why, you have plans Friday?
- No. I have plans Saturday.
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Just tell me that you'll do this for me.
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- Oh, all right.
- Thank you.
90
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,508
So does this mean you're hoping
to get lucky Friday night?
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Niles, please, nobody refers to
having sex as "getting lucky" anymore.
92
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I do.
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Hello, boys.
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- Hey, Dad.
- Hi, Dad.
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00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,438
[clears throat] Uh, Dad.
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I was wondering if you'd be interested
in joining Maris and me Friday night.
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We're dying to try the new rib joint
that's opened on Bellevue Way.
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I understand that if the onion rings
aren't as big as your head,
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you get them for free.
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Well, thanks, Niles.
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But I thought I'd just spend
a quiet evening at home.
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Oh, well, then...
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Better yet,
why don't you come to our house?
104
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We'll make dinner, and we'll even rent
an Angie Dickinson film.
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Ooh!
106
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,258
All right, what's going on?
107
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Frasier wants me out of here
'cause he's got a date?
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I'm sorry, Frasier.
He sees things that others don't.
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Well, I'm sorry, Dad.
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I suppose I should have asked you myself.
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Oh, that's all right. I'll clear out.
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But just remember,
one hand washes the other around here.
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What does that mean?
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As long as I'm clearing out for you
Friday night,
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you clear out for me Thursday night.
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I've got a date with Elaine Morris
in 1412.
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Well, well, well.
How long has this been going on?
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Well, she's had me over
for coffee a couple of times.
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I just thought I'd like
to have her over here for dinner.
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Niles, wipe that stupid smirk
off your face.
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- What do you say, Frasier?
- Well, sure, Dad. I think that's terrific.
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Oh, listen.
If there's a lull in the conversation,
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we've got all kinds of board games
back here in the closet.
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We've got playing cards.
Does she like to play canasta?
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Oh, and PBS is running
a wonderful documentary
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- on the swing bands of the '30s and '40s.
- Oh, wow! Yeah.
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Well, thanks a lot
for all your help, boys,
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but I think we'll just split
a bowl of creamed corn,
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rub a little liniment
into each other's joints,
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and fall asleep drooling on the couch.
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- [Frasier] Morning, Daphne.
- [Daphne] Good morning, Dr. Crane.
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I want to thank you again
for the show last night.
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I've never been
to experimental theater before.
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Oh, don't mention it. It was my pleasure.
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I think I understood most of it.
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Only, what did it mean when the naked man
came in carrying a suitcase?
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Well, I think it meant
that he'd packed too much.
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Well, I'm sure your father appreciated
having us out of the house.
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What is that heavenly aroma?
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I decided to prepare us
a traditional English breakfast.
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- We have eggs...
- Mm-hm.
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...bangers, or as you call them, sausages,
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and to finish it off,
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a batch of Grammy Moon's
famous sticky buns.
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Oh, my. That's it.
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Grammy made these every Sunday.
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Of course,
she added a pint of rum to the recipe.
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And nobody liked these
more than Grammy herself.
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Many's the Sunday
I'd head over to her house after church,
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00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,007
only to find her out
in the garden in her wedding dress,
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face down in the birdbath.
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- Morning.
- Well, morning, Dad.
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So, uh, how was your date last night?
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Huh, boy, it feels strange a son asking
his father how his date was last night...
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when he could ask the date herself.
156
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Uh, Elaine, this is Daphne Moon
and my son, Frasier Crane.
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- This is Elaine Morris.
- Yes, hello.
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- So... So it's a pleasure to meet you.
- Yes.
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It's, uh...
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I know that Dad's wanted
to have you for a long time.
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- I mean for dinner.
- Yes. Well, I certainly enjoyed it.
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00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:46,591
But, you know, Martin,
I really should be going.
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00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:49,260
Oh, no. You should at least stay
for breakfast, shouldn't she, Frasier?
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00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:52,180
- Oh, yes, absolutely.
- Well, I guess I could stay for coffee.
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[Frasier] Splendid, splendid, splendid.
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What did you two kids do last night?
Did you play some games?
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00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,899
Well, I mean, board games.
168
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:06,152
Well, not that you were bored, or excited.
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00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,571
Well, not that I'd know anything
or should,
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00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,949
- but, uh, warm buns, Elaine?
- [coughs]
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00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,075
No, no, no, not yours.
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00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,619
I mean, ours, ours, to eat,
you see, you see.
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Here, I'll have one.
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- Oh. Mm. Warm.
- Oh.
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- Why don't we go sit at the table?
- Okay.
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- What the hell's wrong with you?
- I don't know.
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00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:31,302
Well, uh, Frasier, you know,
I really love your radio show.
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00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,471
My friends and I listen to it
almost every day.
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00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,640
Oh, thank you.
That's always lovely to hear.
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00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,273
[Martin sighs]
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Elaine's a buyer at Bon Marc he.
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Oh, really, really?
I do a great deal of shopping there.
183
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,031
You know, as a matter of fact
I bought the comforter on Dad's bed there.
184
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Well, I suppose you noticed that.
Well, or...
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00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,871
Maybe you didn't. I don't know
if you had the lights on or...
186
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,999
I mean, I don't know how you like it.
187
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,543
I mean, well, how you... light it.
188
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,754
- Well, how you like to light it.
- [chuckles]
189
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,630
Uh... Oh, banger, Dad?
190
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,513
You know, I really should be going.
191
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:16,765
I've got to get ready for work.
192
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,726
It was nice meeting you,
Daphne, and, uh, Frasier.
193
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,105
Thanks for a lovely evening, Martin.
194
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,648
- I'll call you later.
- Yeah.
195
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,901
You couldn't have served bacon?
196
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,070
Me?
197
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,196
The way you were carrying on,
198
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:33,573
I think we can be thankful
I didn't make toad in a hole.
199
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:39,704
Well, you handled that smoothly,
Dr. Crane.
200
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:40,622
I'm sorry, Dad.
201
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,333
[stammers] It just really
caught me off guard.
202
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,543
Oh, that's okay. I ought to apologize.
203
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,712
I should have warned you, but...
204
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:51,883
But I really didn't think
it was gonna happen.
205
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:54,803
Pretty glad it did.
206
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,848
So you like Elaine?
207
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:00,934
I like Elaine.
208
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,149
So, Dad...
209
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,442
Yeah, yeah.
210
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,152
You're back on the beat.
211
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,112
All right.
212
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,449
- All right.
- Lock up your daughters.
213
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,868
- Yeah. Okay. Okay.
- Oh, come on, you old--
214
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,495
Frasier, don't push it.
215
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,544
We have Mary Ann on line four.
216
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,462
She's concerned about her daughter.
217
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,382
Hello, Mary Ann.
218
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,134
- I'm listening.
- Kids!
219
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:37,387
You can't live with them,
you can't shove them back in the womb.
220
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,935
Well, as we try to forget
the image that summons up...
221
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,355
how can I help you, Mary Ann?
222
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,733
Well, two days ago, Judy, my 22-year-old,
223
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,236
arrived home for a visit
with her boyfriend.
224
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:56,281
I insisted that they sleep
in separate bedrooms.
225
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,576
She got furious with me and
she's been giving me dirty looks all week.
226
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,245
- Am I completely out of line here?
- Not at all.
227
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,123
I think that, uh, in your own house
you make up the rules.
228
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,666
- Thank you.
- But...
229
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:10,420
Are we sure there isn't
something else going on here?
230
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,465
Perhaps you're having a problem
thinking of your daughter as an adult.
231
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,718
You see, we all have a tendency
232
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,971
to freeze people in roles
with which we are most comfortable.
233
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,933
Especially when it comes
to that old bugaboo, sex.
234
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,811
You know, let me use myself as an example.
235
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,188
Um, as many of you know,
236
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,441
my 63-year-old father
recently moved in with me,
237
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,650
and this morning, over coffee,
238
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:35,111
I discovered that he had spent the night
in his room
239
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,405
with a delightful creature named Elaine.
240
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:41,701
Well, the entire episode
completely unnerved me.
241
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,660
Why?
242
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:47,123
Because I had never thought of my father
as a man with normal sexual urges.
243
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,293
To me, he was always just plain old Dad.
244
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:52,670
Well, that's absurd.
245
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,840
I mean, my father is a witty, virile,
charming man,
246
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,468
possessed with the hereditary
Crane good looks.
247
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,346
I suppose what I'm driving at
248
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:06,434
is that sexuality is a healthy part
of adulthood at any age.
249
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,854
I think it's time that we embraced that,
don't you, Mary Ann?
250
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,898
[Mary Anne]
Sorry, Dr. Crane, I've gotta go.
251
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,858
I'm hearing noises from the guest room.
252
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,363
Well, as Mary Ann rushes to the guest room
with a bucket of ice water,
253
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,864
we will pause for these messages.
254
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,161
Hey, Frasier.
That was a really good show.
255
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,913
Well, thank you. I thought so too.
256
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,374
Hi, Dr. Crane. Hi, Roz.
257
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:30,917
Hi, Noel.
258
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:34,462
- I had a great time last night.
- Me too.
259
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:37,173
I made you this spice rack.
260
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:44,973
I specially treated the back
for easy wall adhesion.
261
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:49,102
That was very thoughtful of you, Noel.
262
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,814
Well, um, I gotta run.
I'll call you later.
263
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,108
Live long and prosper.
264
00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,571
Oh, look, there's a place for cumin.
265
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,073
Most people overlook that.
266
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,326
Just kill me.
267
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,497
I don't understand it.
268
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,582
Why would he say something like that
on the radio?
269
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,794
Did you know, when you get angry,
your ears turn red?
270
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,297
See? There they go.
271
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,299
[door opens]
272
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,134
Evening everyone.
273
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,720
I'll be going to me room right now.
274
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:28,975
Hello, Eddie.
275
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,691
Well, I seem to have cleared the room.
276
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:39,360
- I wanna talk to you, mister.
- Uh-oh.
277
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,529
Sounds like someone's being
taken out behind the woodshed.
278
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,989
Don't tempt me.
279
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,074
Where do you get off
talking about my personal life
280
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,784
on your radio program?
281
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,703
Are you discussing what I said
about you and Elaine?
282
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:51,331
You're damn right I am.
I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
283
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,083
- Dad, everything I said was flattering.
- Oh, yeah.
284
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,086
Telling all of Seattle about your old dad
shacking up with the neighbor lady.
285
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,839
Come on, you old swordsman.
I thought you'd get a kick out of it.
286
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,549
Knock it off, Frasier.
287
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,885
Thanks to you,
Elaine won't even talk to me anymore.
288
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:07,889
What for? Just because of
a harmless remark I made on the radio?
289
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,141
Hey, for your information,
people of our generation
290
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,018
think that sex is a private thing.
291
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,479
And I still think that's
a pretty healthy way of looking at it.
292
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:17,607
Sex is something between you
and the person you're doing it to.
293
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:27,033
Well, don't you-- Don't you think
she's overreacting a little?
294
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,743
Put yourself in her place.
295
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,995
She takes a chance
and spends the night with me.
296
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,790
Next thing she knows,
it's being broadcast all over Seattle.
297
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,626
I mean, her friends heard it
and called her.
298
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,461
She's so embarrassed
she hasn't been out all day.
299
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,254
She won't even answer the phone now.
300
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,591
- I'm sorry, Dad.
- Your sympathy touches me.
301
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,594
Well, look, look. I caused the problem,
and I will take care of it.
302
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,305
Yeah, well, I'll be in my room
holding my breath.
303
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,690
I said I'd take care of it.
304
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,779
[man on phone] I hate my voice.
305
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:08,741
I mean, I know no one
likes the sound of their own voice,
306
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,452
especially when they hear it on tape
307
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:15,623
because it doesn't sound as good
as it does in their own head,
308
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,209
but I hate my voice in my head too.
309
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:22,505
You can't get away from
your own voice either, you know.
310
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:25,925
I've tried
not listening to myself when I talk.
311
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:30,012
But I find myself kind of saying things
that don't make a lot of sense.
312
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:35,768
I hate my voice so much,
I had to call a neighbor in
313
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,063
to do the message
on my answering machine.
314
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:44,026
I don't like his voice very much either,
but it's better than mine.
315
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,280
Not that I get a lot of calls either.
316
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,823
Well, you go figure.
317
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:51,159
Any advice, Dr. Crane?
318
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:55,830
Oh, yes, yes.
Just, uh, go on with what you're doing
319
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,124
and, uh, everything
should turn out all right.
320
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,543
Thank you for your call.
321
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:07,592
Now, I'd like to end today's show
on something of a personal note.
322
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,636
I'm talking to one person in my audience.
323
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:12,722
Elaine.
324
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,142
You wouldn't answer my phone calls.
You wouldn't come to the door.
325
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,227
So I hope you're listening.
326
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:23,524
And if you are, I want to apologize
for what I said on the radio.
327
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,610
I took something
that was of a private nature
328
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,445
and turned it into public knowledge.
329
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:31,824
I promise I will never do that again.
Well, except for this time.
330
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,493
Then I promise I'll never do it again.
331
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,496
You see, the saddest thing is, Elaine,
that, uh...
332
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,249
Dad is paying for my mistake.
333
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,128
["Moon River" playing]
334
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:53,971
Elaine...
335
00:16:56,766 --> 00:17:01,020
Martin cares for you
and he misses you very much.
336
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,025
More than anything in the world
he'd like to be back together with you.
337
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,362
And if you feel for him
the way he feels for you,
338
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,906
I hope you'll find it in your heart
339
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:15,117
to come to my place tonight
at 8:00 for dinner.
340
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,995
A very romantic dinner.
341
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,373
Thanks, Elaine.
342
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:26,128
This is KACL 780 AM, talk radio,
343
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,506
and I'm Frasier Crane,
344
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,259
the love doctor.
345
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,767
[Frasier singing] ♪ Moon River... ♪
346
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,143
[humming "Moon River"]
347
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,895
Ah, well, the champagne's chilled.
348
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,981
Platter of hors d'oeuvres.
How are things in the kitchen?
349
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,483
The roast is out of the oven.
It looks beautiful.
350
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,235
God, I hope this works, Daphne.
351
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,280
Well, I've been sending Elaine
psychic messages all day.
352
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,533
You're kidding. You can transmit?
353
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,243
I thought you were just a receiver.
354
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,787
Well, I'm giving it a try.
355
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:05,001
You know, "Elaine in 1410,
come to dinner, come to dinner."
356
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,503
That's very charming, Daphne,
but Elaine's in 1412.
357
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,421
Oh, dear.
358
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,673
I guess I'd better set
an extra place at the table then.
359
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,011
Ah, look.
It's 8:00, and I'm still a pumpkin.
360
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,972
Dad, it is two minutes to 8.
Why don't you just sit down and relax?
361
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,140
Oh, this is stupid.
362
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,225
She probably didn't even hear your show.
363
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,352
Does this tie go with the jacket?
364
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,854
You look smashing.
365
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,023
Who the hell am I kidding?
She's not gonna show up.
366
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,441
I don't know why I even...
367
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,317
[doorbell rings]
368
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,612
May I just suggest we skip
the first course, which is crow,
369
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,488
and move directly
into the hors d'oeuvres?
370
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:35,948
Just shut up and answer the door.
371
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,538
Excuse me, is this the Crane residence?
372
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:43,706
[Frasier] Yes, it is.
373
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:47,043
Well, we've been waiting here
for the last 15 minutes.
374
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,836
Did Elaine show up, or did we miss her?
375
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,880
Who are all you people?
376
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,965
We heard your show today.
377
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,967
Oh, it was so romantic.
378
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,510
We all have our fingers crossed.
379
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,180
- That's very kind.
- I'm Marjorie from down on 11.
380
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,890
- Hello, Marjorie.
- And this is Norman.
381
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,684
- Hello, Norman.
- The rest of these people, I don't know.
382
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:04,518
Nice to see you.
383
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,521
Tony. Tony, What are you doing here?
384
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,981
Shouldn't you be watching the door?
385
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,608
Don't worry. We're all locked in.
386
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,235
I have got to find out how this ends, doc.
387
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,820
What's going on out here?
388
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,031
Oh, is this Martin?
389
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,866
[all clamoring]
390
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,369
People. People, please.
Don't you have lives of your own?
391
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:24,163
- For God's sake. Please scoot. Scat.
- What's happening here?
392
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,915
- It's a private situation.
- [elevator bell dings]
393
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,543
[woman] That's her.
394
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:30,670
Oh, my God!
395
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:34,590
- Please, please, come out here.
- No. I'm going home.
396
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,676
Dad. Dad, you come in here.
397
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,344
All right, now, everybody back off.
398
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,096
Just back off. Just give us some time.
399
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,890
- Please. Please.
- I knew I should never have come up here.
400
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,393
- Nothing's changed.
- Please let me try to explain.
401
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,770
- You've done enough.
- Oh, Dad, please.
402
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,105
Frasier, over there.
403
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,272
I... Dad!
404
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,232
Turn around.
405
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,443
Ah!
406
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,365
Look, Elaine,
I'm sorry about what happened.
407
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,951
You've got every right to be mad.
408
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,870
But I thought what we had was pretty good.
409
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,666
And thanks to radio boy here,
I think most of Seattle agrees with me.
410
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:13,337
I'd sure hate us to lose it
just because of one stupid thing.
411
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:16,632
Come on, Elaine.
412
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,760
I had a great time on our date
the other night.
413
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,304
You don't feel the same way?
414
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,850
You may not remember,
but I have warm toes.
415
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,768
[Frasier clears throat]
416
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,189
Anyway, it's your choice.
417
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,359
But I sure wish you'd come
and have dinner with me.
418
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,069
[elevator bell dings]
419
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:54,253
Who said you could turn around?
420
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:59,800
Look. It's coming back up.
421
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,178
[crowd] Aw!
422
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:08,058
[Martin] All right, everyone.
You had your fun. Show's over.
423
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,102
Nothing more to see.
Go back to your homes.
424
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,021
Yes, please, folks.
Honor what the man says.
425
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,648
Thank you so much for coming.
Thank you for your concern.
426
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:15,608
Thank you so much.
427
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,651
Let's expedite this departure,
please, if you would.
428
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:18,569
Thank you so much.
429
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,155
Goodbye.
430
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,242
Well, I suppose
we should give them their privacy.
431
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:26,994
Yes, yes, I suppose you're right.
432
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:27,953
Mm.
433
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,330
It's ironic, isn't it?
434
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:31,290
My 63-year-old father with a bum hip
435
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,043
is about to embark
on a night of romance
436
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,755
while the two of us, man and woman,
437
00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:41,592
both attractive and eligible
and in the prime of our lives
438
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,553
with nothing to do on a Saturday night.
439
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:45,513
[Daphne] Mm.
440
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:49,058
You know, the answer to our problems
might be right under our noses.
441
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,728
Yes, Daphne, I think it is.
442
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:56,148
All right, you go claim
the washing machines.
443
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,316
I'll go get the laundry.
444
00:21:58,108 --> 00:21:58,943
Right.
445
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,702
[theme music playing]
446
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:14,500
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
447
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:15,960
Mercy!
448
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:19,255
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
449
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,590
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
450
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,759
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
451
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,386
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
452
00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:28,931
♪ With those toss salads
And scrambled eggs ♪
453
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:32,351
♪ They're callin' again ♪
454
00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:36,272
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
455
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:37,815
What is a boy to do?
456
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:41,652
Thank you!